DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the entire Twilight Series, Edward, Bella and the other characters that we've grown to know and love. Any new or unfamiliar characters in the story are figments of my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended – I'm just having fun!
AN: I know you're used to reading Bella's POV first, but as my wonderful Beta suggested, it would probably be more helpful to have Edward's perspective first this time around. And I know how much you like hearing from him anyway...*snickers*
I can never say thank you enough to my fabulously magnificent beta, TwilightMomofTwo. She is amazing and has helped me in more ways that I can list here...just be sure to check our her stories – that would be thanks enough. ;-)
Chapter 14 – Choices and Consequences
EPOV
Alice had locked me out of her room, blocking me from her mind all day. First it was the Pledge of Allegiance in Korean, then the Battle Hymn of the Republic in Portuguese and finally the Declaration of Independence in German. All this ridiculous nonsense was done to prevent me from seeing Bella and her dress until Alice was done making her over. Personally, I didn't believe Bella needed all the beautifying that some girls required – my Bella was perfect just the way she was. I had tried to explain that to Alice, but she just shook her head and rolled her eyes, as if that was the most ridiculous notion yet.
That had been three hours ago.
I'd spent those three hours pacing in my room, valiantly trying to find some kind of distraction while I anxiously waited for Alice to be done. I'd rearranged my music collection. That occupied me for all of five minutes.
Then I'd tried reading, sitting on the couch with one of Carlisle's medical tomes, but when I realized I'd been focused on the same paragraph for the better part of half an hour, my knee tapping up and down impatiently, I gave up and simply resumed my pacing.
After I had worn the carpet in my room nearly threadbare, I went downstairs to the living room where I continued walking from one end of the room to the other, then back again.
And again. All the while ignoring Jasper's silent snickers from where he lounged on the sofa, watching television.
This was the first year I was truly looking forward to attending the hospital's New Year's Eve charity ball. No matter where we lived, everyone in the family was expected to support the various charitable organizations both Carlisle and Esme were involved with, and I did so, albeit reluctantly. The events usually found me trying hard to be civil and courteous to vapid girls who only saw me as a trophy to be won. Their thoughts were always vile and repulsive, and if it were not for Jasper keeping me calm, I shuddered to think how I would have endured the offensive and vile thoughts I usually was bombarded with.
This year, however, was very different. For the very first time, I was looking forward to attending the event. Tonight my precious girl would be at my side. And not only would we spend the evening dancing and conversing, we would be celebrating our first New Year's Eve together. I wanted the night to be perfect – as supremely magnificent as Bella deserved.
As I walked past Jasper again, he glanced over at me, smirking. "You need to relax. It's a good thing you can't sweat."
"Funny, Jasper, but it's your wife occupying Bella's time. Why don't you go see what they're doing?" I said feeling quite exasperated.
"And incur Alice's wrath? Are you insane? She may be small, but she could rip off my –"
"Whoa. Stop right there," I said, shaking my head. "I don't even want to know."
The past several days had been quiet as I reflected over the amount of time Bella and I had spent together, each day and each night feeling more surreal than the one before. Ever since the meeting and Jacob Black's apparent yet reluctant acceptance of my relationship with Bella, my time in Forks had been more relaxed, peaceful even as Bella and I became better acquainted with each other. Nevertheless, I remained apprehensive over one part of the agreement Carlisle had made with the Quileute elders.
X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O
Leaving Bella that morning had been one of the most difficult things I had done in quite some time. I knew she would be well protected, but after several quite stimulating moments, I felt rather inclined to stay. And I would have, too, had Emmett not threatened to come upstairs to tease Bella relentlessly over her physical reactions to me. While I enjoyed how her body responded to my kisses and gentle caresses, I knew she would be mortified should Emmett say something. I also knew it was very necessary that we meet with the current tribal elders as well as those damn mutts to renew the treaty. Nevertheless, I would have much preferred staying wrapped up in my precious girl's loving arms.
Unfortunately, that would have to wait.
"Shall we run?" Carlisle questioned.
"No, we have plenty of time. Let's drive," I answered.
There were only a few cars on the road at that early hour so we drove well above the legal speed limit and arrived at the meeting location in plenty of time. Carlisle parked the Mercedes in a clearing nearby and while Emmett remained hidden in the forest, Carlisle, Jasper and I stood at the treaty line.
Waiting.
I listened carefully for any sign of life or sounds of animals, especially wolves, but the surrounding forest was relatively quiet. Most animals ran away from us, so the silence was not totally unexpected, although I had anticipated that the wolves would be waiting for us, but no one seemed to be anywhere near.
At least not yet.
"Do you think they'll really come?" Jasper asked, wondering silently who would be participating in our little get-together.
Carlisle nodded without saying a word as I answered Jasper's mental question.
"At the very least we should expect Billy Black, Quil Ateara Sr., Harry Clearwater, Jacob Black and Sam Uley. I believe they currently make up the tribal council and the wolf pack. I doubt there will be a problem."
"I was hoping for some action," Emmett mused as he remained away, out of view.
"Emmett's a bit anxious," I muttered, shaking my head just as I heard Jacob's bothersome thoughts.
"Why the hell were they around Bella's house? What damn business do they have with the Swans?"
"Jacob Black is rather dismayed over finding my scent at Bella's home," I spat bitterly. "No matter what, I'm not staying away from her, Carlisle."
"I don't expect you to, son. Try to settle down, Edward. He's young and volatile. You know this. Relax. Everything will work out."
"It better," I grumbled under my breath.
Jasper straightened up – he felt my anxiety as I heard his mind.
"Shit, Edward. You're killing me. It'll be difficult enough to keep the wolves in line – I don't want to have to worry about you, too."
"Sorry," I murmured.
"My father told me about these Cold Ones. He trusted them, the Cullens. I hope they're as amenable as they were with our great chief, Ephraim Black."
Quil Ateara, Senior was a gentle man who had been a young child when we last met with his father and Ephraim Black.
"They'll be here soon," I said.
Sam Uley now apparently knew about imprinting and what had occurred between Jacob and Leah. Although he understood, he remained bitter and angry. He wanted to hate Jacob, but was unable to hurt him as it would have been devastating to Leah, and he still loved her too much to inflict that kind of pain on her. Sam hoped he would find his own imprint one day, but at this moment he was pissed off at us for causing Jacob to phase in the first place.
"Why did they have to come back? Why here? Why now? Leah and I would have gotten married in less than six months if it hadn't been for these leeches."
Billy Black was cautious, but concerned about his son and his best friend's family. He, too, wondered why we were visiting the Swans and whether or not Bella was aware of us.
He'll soon find out.
I was reluctant to divulge the exact nature of my relationship with Bella, but if somehow the opportunity arose to clarify a few key points, I would take it. They would not stand in my way.
Carlisle glanced from me to Jasper as we heard a truck pull off the side of the road. Billy, Quil Senior and Harry had driven together while Jacob and Sam ran to meet them. They had been in their wolf forms, but now appeared human as Jacob helped his father into the wheelchair, walking in our direction.
Within minutes we found ourselves face to face with the current leaders of the Quileute Nation. Even as humans their stench was revolting, causing me to hold my breath until the time came for me to speak again. Carlisle, however, seemed unfazed by their odor as he began.
"Gentlemen, thank you for coming. I'm Carlisle." He paused for a moment before continuing. "And these are my sons, Edward and Jasper."
We both nodded, looking each one in the eye.
"His sons? How is that even possible?" Quil Senior seemed the most curious about us, perhaps because it was his father who we'd met along with Ephraim Black sixty-eight years ago.
"We would like to reaffirm the treaty originally made with Ephraim Black. I assume the terms remain agreeable?" Carlisle looked around between the tribal elders.
"How do we know they're even following the terms?" Harry Clearwater's silent question slammed into my mind.
I didn't give him the opportunity to verbally express his thoughts, nor did I convey his inquiry to Carlisle.
"If you're concerned about what we're feeding from, all you need to do is look into our eyes," I said heatedly.
"Yes, that's true. If at any time we partake of human blood, our eyes will turn a deep burgundy color," Carlisle explained as Jacob and Sam glanced toward the elders for confirmation.
"We know you work at a hospital. How do we know you're not drinking donated blood?" Billy asked as he eyed us suspiciously.
"Regardless of whether we feed from humans directly or partake of donated blood, the results are the same. We do not consume human blood from any source. There are very few of our kind who consume animal blood, but you will always know because even one feeding from a human will cause our eye color to change."
"Yeah, so they slip up once and then drink from a deer...how we will ever know?" Sam wondered.
"And it takes multiple feedings from animals before our eyes return to this golden color again," I replied, already tiring of the meeting, needing to return to Bella.
"There are only a few others like us who value human life, so I would hope they would not be viewed as a threat should they venture to these parts. They will not cross onto your land; they understand the treaty. If, however, you come across others of our kind who feed on humans, feel free to deal with them as you see fit," Carlisle stated. He didn't like killing of any kind, but understood that the wolves were designed to protect humans and would do so without question.
"I still don't like it," Jacob thought bitterly. "What business do they have with the Swans?"
Jacob's inner monologue concerning my love was becoming more difficult to ignore. He should be concerning himself with his imprint, not my mate. Jasper must have felt my irritation because not even a moment later I felt a wave of calm take over. I nodded toward Jasper, and he smiled slightly.
"Jacob?" Jasper pondered.
"Yes," I whispered.
"Will you be interacting much with humans?" Billy Black asked although his mind betrayed him. "I already know they've been around Charlie's family. What I don't know is why."
Deciding I had had enough dancing around their true issues, I prepared myself to tackle them head on.
"So, Jacob, how is Leah?" I asked snidely.
"What? How does he know about her?" Jacob was incensed by my knowledge, but at least he was no longer thinking of my Bella.
"Edward, what are you doing?" Carlisle thought, but I ignored him in favor of continuing my banter with the mutt.
"You did imprint on her, did you not?"
"How...what...impossible," he sputtered as Sam's mind became enraged, thinking about Jacob and Leah's relationship.
"He did and it's all your fault!" Sam shouted angrily as he started shaking.
"Shit!" Jasper was probably doing all he could to keep Sam calm, and I had just tossed a match on smoldering kindling.
Jacob seemed to regain some composure as he called out for Sam to relax, placing a hand on his shoulder. After a moment both were quiet as Jacob glared at me.
"Fix this mess, Edward, now," Carlisle insisted.
I nodded. "I believe wolf imprinting and vampire mating are very similar in nature."
Jacob started shaking his head in disagreement so I paused, but Billy Black was apparently interested in what I had to say so he put up a hand, motioning for Jacob to remain quiet, allowing me to resume speaking.
"Were you able to control the instinct that took over the moment you laid eyes on Leah even though you knew she was with Sam?"
No one said anything, so I continued. "Could you have prevented feeling the undying devotion to her? Would you have ever been able to deny the longing to protect her, even at the cost of your own life?"
I watched Jacob, but he stood still, refusing to look me in the eye.
"Would you do anything and everything in your power to keep her safe and make her happy?"
Jacob nodded nearly imperceptibly.
"And Leah, although she had loved Sam and wanted only happiness for him, was she able to turn her back on you and walk away from what she was feeling?"
Jacob shook his head no.
"Then you of all people," I nearly choked on that word because he was a dog...one who had wanted my girl, but Jasper glanced at me, and I managed to rein in my anger. "You should understand that it's the same for us. "
"What do you mean by that exactly?" Quil Senior asked, a suspicious expression on his face.
I looked at Carlisle and then Jasper before answering.
"Everyone in my family had mated prior to our arrival in Sequim," I said as their thoughts united in one loud question.
"Family?"
"They are surprised by my use of the word 'family'," I whispered to Carlisle.
"Yes, we consider ourselves a family," Carlisle stated before turning to me to continue.
"Everyone except me, that is," I said quietly. I knew this statement would get Jacob Black's attention, and I wasn't wrong.
"No!" he shouted as the Elders looked at him in surprise. "Don't you get what he's saying? Where he's been?" Jacob started shaking again, but stopped as Billy called out to him.
"Jacob!"
The three older Quileute men looked at me, apparently waiting for my admission, but my focus remained on Jacob Black. Sam seemed unsure of what was going on. Apparently his thoughts were not joined with those of Jacob's unless they were in their wolf forms. Jasper and Carlisle quickly glanced at me as we all waited, but no one said a word.
Finally the wolf-boy found his voice again.
"Does she know?"
"Does who know what?" Harry Clearwater asked.
I ignored Harry for the moment as I answered Jacob's question the best I could, for the truth was, Bella didn't know the extent of my feelings, but I hoped she would, soon.
"She knows what I am and that I love her." I answered, wishing I had been braver and had already told Bella the entire truth.
Suddenly Billy Black understood as his head jerked up as he glared at Carlisle. "That will most definitely break the treaty," he said harshly.
"No one has made any decisions yet," I replied. "And nothing will be done without the proper consent."
"No consent will ever be given!" Jacob shouted. "I won't allow you to turn her into a freaking bloodsucker!"
"Who?" Harry asked again.
"Bella Swan!" Billy, Jacob and I stated loudly all at once. Immediately there was a gasp from Quil Senior, Sam and Harry.
"That will never be tolerated," Quil Senior stated.
"Never," Harry confirmed emphatically.
"Everyone needs to settle down," Carlisle said as Jasper sent out waves of calm.
"No one will be biting anyone," he stated, looking over at me, a concerned expression on his face.
I shook my head. Carlisle should have known better. I never wanted Bella to become one of us, but I had grown weary of fighting against Alice's vision. I would never ask Bella to change for me. I would keep her human for so long as it was what she desired. But if she ever asked to stay with me forever, I would be unable to deny her.
"I've got to warn her, tell her his true intentions. I'll protect her from him. He can't have her. She's mine."
I let out a low growl, but just as I was about to respond to Jacob's tirade he caught up with himself and realized what he'd thought.
"Not mine. Leah's mine. Must protect Leah."
Jacob's natural tendencies to protect human life were warring with his need to protect his imprint, and although I would never cross the treaty line and harm any of the Quileutes – my thought process was instantly interrupted.
Never? What if Jacob stole Bella away to keep her from you?
Yes, in that circumstance I would, but he couldn't behave so stupidly. Jacob had to know that would be much too risky for Leah and the rest of the tribe. He would never put Bella Swan above Leah Clearwater no matter how much he wanted to do it.
"You have my assurance that no harm will come to Bella Swan," Carlisle said reassuringly. "Edward values her life, her human life and would end his own existence before allowing any trauma to befall her."
I knew what he was doing so I nodded my head. He was speaking truthfully without telling them that if she chose it, I would change her. But they didn't need to know that.
"Then he needs to stay away from her," Jacob sneered.
"No. Absolutely not. I'd like to see you stay away from Leah," I said, my voice full of disdain.
"You may continue your...relationship...with Isabella Swan. We are unable to prevent it. The treaty will remain intact for so long as she remains human. We do not doubt your sincerity. However, we do not trust you and therefore the boundaries, as drawn, remain. At no time may you enter onto Quileute land. The town of Forks, however, is neutral territory provided no human is killed...or bitten."
Quil Senior spoke with authority even though I had assumed Billy Black to be the rightful tribal chief. As I listened to Billy's thoughts it seemed he had temporarily relinquished his role for the purpose of this meeting as Quil was truly Billy's elder and could not be influenced by a volatile, shape-shifting son.
"You can't allow that!" Jacob shouted. "He'll find a way around the treaty."
"Jacob – do not disrespect your elders!" Billy shouted, appalled at his son's outburst. "Do you not think we'll know if Bella mysteriously disappears?"
"He may have fooled them, but not me. As soon as we're done, I'm going to see Bella."
A snarl escaped my lips, causing Carlisle and Jasper to look in my direction.
"He's going to see Bella as soon as the meeting has concluded," I murmured. "I must go and protect her."
"You can't cause a scene. He won't phase in front of Bella," Carlisle replied low enough that only we heard him.
"You don't know that," I growled angrily.
Carlisle straightened up, returning his gaze to Quil Senior. "Do we have your assurance that Jacob Black nor any of the other shape-shifters will phase in front of Bella Swan?"
"Yes, of course" Quil Senior responded instantly.
"Do we have your assurance that no one in the tribe will ever tell Bella Swan about the treaty?"
My sire was smart. Much smarter than these mere mortals. I knew what he was doing and smiled.
The silence was golden. They could not make such a promise because technically the treaty had already been broken, and they knew it. And with that realization, the fight went out of them and their faces showed the defeat that Jasper was picking up and relaying to me.
"She already knows about your kind so it no longer matters," Jacob mumbled under his breath.
"We never disclosed what we were to Bella," I promptly replied. "She figured it out because of what you told her. You have already broken the treaty."
"I didn't believe it any of it at the time," he said, looking at the ground.
"That is not our concern," Carlisle replied. "Apparently, the treaty was violated by one of your own," he said, looking at Quil Senior.
"You have the right to retaliate," he said quietly.
"Perhaps, but that would not be in anyone's best interest. I do, however, have a compromise of sorts."
"We're listening," Billy stated.
"We are all agreed that no one in my family will forcefully bite, feed from, or kill a human, nor will we consume human blood, is that correct?"
All three Quileute elders nodded.
"We can also agree that your part of the treaty, to keep our secret as well your own from the pale faces as you call them, has been violated by a member of your tribe, correct?"
Jacob opened his mouth to speak, but Billy glared at his son.
"In an effort to maintain the peace, I offer a compromise. Should Isabella Swan choose to become one of us due to the fact that she and my son have mated, you will agree that she may be changed without that choice and our subsequent action breaking the treaty."
There was silence for only a moment before Jacob screamed, "NO!"
I growled, unable to hold back as I crouched defensively as he started to run toward me.
"Jacob!" all three men shouted causing the dog to stop dead in his tracks.
"This problem is of your making. You will not make this worse. If you cannot maintain control, Sam will escort you home," Quil Senior commanded. He then turned his attention to Carlisle.
"We cannot grant this request without first speaking to Bella Swan. Some of those among us may consider her and her parents family, but they are not official members of this tribe. However, we cannot agree that you may terminate her life unless we are absolutely certain it is her wish for you to do so."
"How do we know they won't try to brainwash her or something," Jacob said, his voice cracking.
"The decision has yet to be made. Bella is not even aware of the option," Carlisle said.
"There is no option," Jacob cried. "Please," he begged, looking at his father. "Don't agree to this. Don't let them kill Bella because I was stupid."
"It's no longer in our hands," Billy said, refusing to look at his son.
"You can always try to keep it from happening," Harry mumbled.
"No!" I said firmly. "Jacob Black has no business interfering with my mate."
"I think we can come to some sort of agreement," Carlisle replied as I looked at him flabbergasted. "At a time and place to be determined appropriate only by Edward, he will explain everything to Isabella Swan. Edward will be the one to explain the treaty in detail and when he feels the time is appropriate, he will explain vampire mating to her. Once she confirms her feelings for Edward, and if she chooses to be changed at some point in the future, Edward will at that time advise her of the necessity to speak with the tribal Elders so that everyone will know the choice is hers, and hers alone. Jacob may speak with and visit Bella as he has done in the past, but he will not tell her anything of this meeting, the treaty or our...arrangement."
I could not believe what Carlisle was suggesting. I didn't want that mutt anywhere near Bella. I was fuming, my jaw clenched, my hands instantly balling into fists. Jasper looked at me, sending waves of calm, but it didn't help. The only consolation I felt was that Jacob was furious as well. The mere fact that he didn't like the arrangement any more than I gave me a small amount of satisfaction.
It was not much, but enough to keep me rooted to my spot.
"That is acceptable," Quil Senior said as Harry and Billy reluctantly nodded in agreement.
"I can't believe this shit."
Jacob's thoughts were bitter, but he knew he'd made a terrible mistake. The Elders had agreed, not because they were supportive of me changing Bella, far from it, but because they hoped she would never want to become one of the undead.
As much as they didn't trust us, they did have some small amount of respect for Carlisle. They believed he was a man of his word, and if Carlisle said Bella would know the entire truth and be allowed to discuss her options with them before a choice was made, they believed him.
Jacob had already made up his mind that he was going to visit Bella immediately upon the conclusion of our meeting. Little did he know that she was safely tucked away where he would not find her. It wasn't much longer before our meeting had concluded. Emmett came out of hiding, grumbling about not being able to kick any wolf tail – I rolled my eyes. He was really too much sometimes.
As we headed home, I checked my phone but we seemed to be out of range. I'd never noticed it before, but then again it had been quite some time since we'd been that close to the treaty line, and with all the tree covering, it was logical to assume there would be interference.
We had just passed the official Forks city limits when my phone rang.
"Alice, is everything alright?" I asked nervously. I had assumed she would have been busy with Bella all morning.
"Actually, Bella just left. She felt the need to get home."
"Alice, I told you to keep her there," I said angrily as Jasper scowled at me.
"What did you expect me to do, Edward, tie her up? Hold her hostage?" she asked sarcastically. "You didn't tell me she couldn't leave at all. I thought you only wanted her here until the meeting was over. You need to settle down." Her last comment was reiterated mentally by Jasper.
"Sorry," I muttered. "What did you see, Alice?"
"She gets home just fine. Depending on how fast or slow she drives you'll probably pass her, but I doubt she'll recognize Carlisle's Mercedes. I suspect she'll be too focused on the road."
"Anything else?"
Unfortunately, her hesitation was just long enough to make me realize that she did not know what would happen next because she couldn't see.
"Jacob," I seethed.
"That's certainly a possibility," Alice said quietly. "But you can't go barging in there, Edward. Bella is capable of handling Jacob. He was her friend. She knows that if she's going to be with you, she won't be able to maintain a relationship with him. She's not stupid, Edward. She understands the consequences of her decisions. She misses him nonetheless."
I knew she was right, but what she was asking of me was nearly impossible. Bella and I had discussed the wolves before. The more I had insisted on her staying away from them, the more she had dug in her heels. I was certain she wouldn't accompany Jacob to the reservation, but if he went to her house, she would be unable to ignore him.
"Come on, Edward. At least continue on your way until you spot her truck. At that point, you can always run after her, following her home if you want to be nearby to ensure that nothing happens to her. But...you need to let her fight her own battles. You need to stop being so damn controlling."
"I suppose you're right. I'll wait until we see her before heading back to Forks."
Eventually we caught sight of Bella's old truck. I wanted to get her a new, more reliable vehicle or, at the very least, have Rosalie take a look at the rusted heap of scrap metal Bella called a truck to ensure that it was safe. I was certain that she would not permit me to give her a new vehicle. I even doubted that Bella would allow Rosalie to inspect the truck. Perhaps I could get Rose to do it on the sly. There had to be something Rose wanted that I could give her in exchange.
"I'll pull over so you can get out," Carlisle thought smugly.
"Am I that transparent?" I asked curiously.
They all nodded; Emmett guffawed.
As I ran through the forest I decided to hunt and feed so that it would not be necessary to leave Bella any time soon. As the warm blood of a large buck flowed down my throat, I became aware that it had been quite some time since I had been hunting with my brothers. I missed feeding from mountain lions, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make to remain nearer to Bella.
Eventually I heard Renee Swan. She was worried about Bella even though it was still relatively early in the day. Apparently, she would not have been so concerned had Jacob Black not been calling non-stop. He had been upset to learn that Bella was not home, but rather visiting her good friend, Alice Cullen.
It wasn't much longer before Bella arrived. She chatted with her mother, but Renee was distraught over why Jacob was so disturbed over Bella's whereabouts. After a few moments Bella made it clear that she would call the mutt eventually. I wished that she wouldn't, but recalled Alice's words. I would not force Bella to choose between us because eventually, if Bella did in fact want to remain with me for all eternity, there would be no choice. She knew that Jacob was with Leah so I would make a concerted effort to tolerate her friendship with him provided it did not put her in unnecessary danger.
I did my best to not become angry with Renee as she pondered over the time Bella and Jacob had spent together and how close she had hoped they would become. Although he was younger than Bella, Renee had wanted something romantic to develop, bringing the two families together. I shook my head to clear my own memories and the very unhappy months I'd spent waiting anxiously for Bella at the treaty line, long before she had seen me again.
I supposed I should actually thank Jacob Black. Had he not imprinted on Leah Clearwater, Bella would not have become upset that particular afternoon and gone to the pier. I might have dragged my feet for many more months waiting for the perfect opportunity which might never have come. I let my mind wander to the day Alice brought Bella to our home in Sequim and our dinner at Bella Italia. Just as I was about to picture the moment of our first kiss, his thoughts slammed into my head.
"I can't believe it. They've already wormed their way into her life. First him and then one of his leech sisters. How could Bella be so blind in the first place?"
I would love for him to have told Bella all about the meeting, giving me more ammunition against him, but he seemed determined to only talk about their relationship.
Bella sounded absolutely flabbergasted to see him as she said, "Hi, Jake."
"Um, hi, Bells. Wanna go for a walk?"
"How will I get her to understand that she doesn't need him? I can't let her make the wrong choice. Does she even understand what that will do to her parents? Me?"
"How about if we hang out on the rez today? I'm sure Leah would enjoy spending time with you," Jacob mumbled.
"Thanks, but no thanks," Bella replied sarcastically. "I'd prefer to stay here."
"I need to get her away from here. He could be lurking around. I smell him, but it's not strong. It could be from the other day. Bella needs to come visit Mom and Dad. Maybe they can invite her parents."
As they walked up the well-worn path behind Bella's house, I wanted to run to her. I wanted him to stay away from my precious girl. It appeared from Jacob's vantage point that he startled Bella, causing her to stumble. He chuckled silently to himself. His abnormally large hands grabbed her arms quickly.
Deep in my chest, a growl bubbled up to my throat but I swallowed it down. I wanted to remove his paws from her beautiful, soft skin, but he had prevented her from falling so I took a deep breath, hoping to calm myself.
It didn't work. At least not until Bella pulled away.
"What the hell, Bella?"
"You...startled me," she replied, backing up and putting some space between them. I was elated by her actions. It was clear she was trying to be friendly, but she truly didn't seem to want anything more from him.
Did you expect otherwise? She belongs to you.
And I belong to her.
I would have taken more of an opportunity to ponder this rather welcome turn of events, had the pathetic dog's voice not interrupted my musings.
"I'm sorry. More than you know," Jacob said quietly.
As he looked into Bella's face, her expression seemed confused.
"Did something happen with Leah?" she asked, sounding concerned for the mutt.
"What? No. She's fine. Why do you ask?"
"You seem, I don't know, upset?"
"I'm just sorry for not being around for so long. I'm sorry for saying that we couldn't be friends. I'm sorry that there's this distance between us now, and I'm worried it will never be the same again."
Unfortunately for me, he glanced down at the ground so I was unable to see Bella's face when she next spoke.
"It won't ever be the same. Some things can't ever be undone."
Jacob was about to comment when he lifted his head up, sticking his nose into the air. At that moment I realized I had probably gotten just a little too close.
"Damn. I can still detect his stink from the other day. Freakin' leeches. Why did they have to show up again and mess things up?"
Jacob chatted a bit more, but his mind was focused on me and everything he wanted to say, but couldn't for fear of reprisal. He was unsure of Bella's allegiance to me, and worried that if he did tell her what really happened at the meeting that I would find out. Bella was talking, but he wasn't really paying attention to her, and his rude behavior was infuriating.
"What's the matter?" she inquired.
Jacob shook his head. "This was a bad idea," he grumbled, looking at Bella as she stared at him. I recognized her expression – she was getting angry.
"You know what, Jake. Go home and don't come back. You don't need to feel obligated to come here. Our parents can be friends without getting us involved. You have Leah and I have –"
For a moment I thought she was actually going to tell Jacob about us, but she stopped herself. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Was she embarrassed by our relationship or just trying to keep the dog calm. She saw how he had reacted when he first recognized my scent. Perhaps she was afraid.
"Was she actually going to throw that bloodsucker's name in my face? Doesn't she remember the stories I told her? Ugh, this is insane," Jacob mentally fumed to himself before deciding to address Bella's apparent apprehension.
"You have who? Or should I say what?" he said angrily, but my girl was smart, much smarter than he as she quickly changed the subject.
"I have to worry about graduating so I can go to college. I don't have time for your childish games," she spat heatedly.
"Shit, I've really done it now."
He knew Bella well, a fact which made my stomach turn, but he sounded sorry.
"Bella, don't be like that. I'm sorry. Really, I am. I can't seem to stop hurting you."
I had listened to as much malarkey as I could handle. I needed to be with my Bella, and he needed to go back to the reservation and never return. I knew that was highly unlikely, but at least I could get him to leave. Just as I was about to head directly to Bella's house, my phone rang.
"Yes, Alice. What is it? I'm kind of in a hurry."
"No, you're not," she answered emphatically.
I sighed.
"You may go to Bella's house in a few short minutes, but not until after he has gone. Of course, I can't see what's happening, but the two of you do talk later so I know she's fine. I just have a feeling," Alice said softly. "You really need to tell her how you feel."
"I know, but what if – "
"I can't even believe you would think such nonsense after all this time. You know she's meant to be with you. Hell, you know she will be with you. My visions are. The. Same. Nothing has changed, and you know she loves you," Alice huffed.
"Yes, you are right. I need to tell her, but I'm afraid. Do you think she will understand?"
"Edward, she understands more than you give her credit for."
"What has she said?" I asked nervously.
"Nothing really, although she asks me questions that she thinks you won't answer, but I keep telling her to discuss it with you. You need to talk to her. Ask her if she has any questions. I'm getting tired of waiting for you," Alice said, insinuating that she was going to tell Bella all if I didn't get a move on.
"Fine, I'll try to talk with her today. Is it okay if I go now?"
"Yes, it's time." I could almost hear the smile on Alice's face. "Enjoy your day. I know you will." I heard her laugh before hanging up the phone.
I hadn't paid full attention to the conversation while I was on the phone with Alice, but it seemed that he was leaving. From his thoughts, it sounded as if he had resigned himself to the fact that he couldn't reveal anything from our meeting, and he couldn't persuade Bella to reconsider her stance towards me without giving too much away.
So for now, he was giving up.
About damn time!
"I'm gonna meet Sam at the diner for a bit, and then we'll head back to the rez. Take care, Bella," Jacob said reluctantly.
"There's got to be some way...she needs to see...what she's doing...it's wrong. Vampire mating – what crap!"
His thoughts were still vicious, and a part of me wished he would have said something, yet a part of me didn't. I needed to be the one to tell Bella – to make sure she knew without a doubt how I felt. I waited, listening. When the mutt left, Bella headed into her house.
And before I could think about it, I found myself heading home...for wherever Bella was, that's where my life was, my love, my home.
x-o-x-o-x-o
BPOV
I couldn't believe it was New Year's Eve, and I was going with the Cullens, more specifically Edward, to the charity ball at the hospital where Carlisle worked. It seemed so surreal as I sat in the chair while Alice fixed my hair and did my make-up. Initially I had resisted, but Alice had insisted so I gave up. What was the use in fighting if she'd seen that I would eventually give in anyway? Sometimes I wondered if she really did see certain outcomes or if she just told me she did so that I would go along with her and do what she wanted. I sighed, knowing that I'd never know the answer to that question.
I was nervous about what Alice was doing because I wasn't allowed to look in the mirror until she was finished. I didn't like all the attention so the only way I could tolerate playing dress up was to think of Edward as the events of the past few days began to fill my head.
x-o-x-o-x-o
The morning after our first official date, I woke up to Edward kissing me. I would never get tired of his cool lips on my skin as I reached up, pulling him closer to me. My lips parted, allowing him greater access as the events from the previous evening returned to the forefront of my mind, causing me to pull back.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked, backing away and looking at me for any sign that he'd hurt me. If he hadn't appeared so distraught, I would have laughed.
"I'm good," I replied. "I just didn't want to make things, um, more difficult for you," I said hesitantly.
He smiled shyly at my words. "I'm just being cautious, love, but I'm in control. And the family's back. I'm fine. Are you alright?"
I nodded and smiled as I stretched.
"Beautiful," he whispered, causing me to blush. I was still tired, unable to stifle a yawn.
"Go back to sleep," he whispered lovingly. "I'll be back before you know it."
I had been ready to doze off until I realized he was leaving.
"What? Where are you going?" I asked, suddenly feeling wide awake.
"Carlisle, Jasper and I are going to meet with the tribal elders as well as Jacob and Sam Uley to reaffirm the treaty," he replied. "Alice, Esme and Rosalie are home and will stay with you until I return."
I couldn't help suddenly feeling very anxious as I remembered Jacob's reaction to just the smell of vampires around my house. I didn't want Edward to go, especially if it was mostly for my benefit, but if they didn't renew the treaty, he'd probably stop coming to the house altogether. Without thinking about it, I felt myself frown.
"Sweetheart, why the long face? You need more sleep, and I won't be gone long," he said, his topaz eyes peering deeply into mine.
"I just remembered how Jacob reacted at my house," I whispered nervously.
"Bella, we'll be fine. We are just going to talk. We've done this before. Please don't worry. Nothing will happen." Edward sounded so confident, so self-assured. Maybe I was just over-reacting.
I didn't really want to fall asleep, but I yawned again. Edward pulled me closer to him, hugging me. He kissed the top of my head before making his way down to my forehead, nose and finally my lips. I couldn't hold back a sigh. Hot and cold meshed into warm as our lips met and I felt the now familiar twinges begin in my stomach as they traveled downward. I pulled Edward closer to me, not wanting him to leave.
"Bella, I need to go. They're waiting for me," Edward said as if he was trying to convince himself.
"No, please stay," I whispered, trying to snuggle closer. I needed to feel him. I hitched one leg over his hip. I immediately felt his movements stop. I waited for him to put my leg back to its original position, but he just stayed still, unmoving and silent.
"Edward?"
"Just give me a minute, love," he whispered.
"'Kay."
I wondered what he was thinking and what I had done wrong.
It was the leg hitch.
Slowly, I began to pull my leg back when I felt Edward's cool hand stilling my movements.
"Mmmm, you smell divine," Edward purred softly, causing a tingling sensation to run up and down my spine.
"Oh, Edward," I gasped as he put my leg back on his hip and ran his hand up my side.
"I really need to leave. I can hear their thoughts. Emmett's ready to come up here to start teasing you." He spoke softly in my ear as he nibbled the skin on the side of my neck, eliciting a moan that I was unable to hold back.
"Bella, I really have to go."
Mmmmhmmm," I mumbled, very reluctantly releasing him.
"Sleep well, my love," Edward whispered as I closed my eyes. I spent the remainder of the early morning hours dreaming of Edward.
Some time later I woke up when I heard a voice calling to me happily, "Bella! Time to get up."
I rolled over, trying desperately to pull the covers back over my head when a cold hand stopped me. Immediately I thought of Edward and sat up only to find Alice sitting on the bed.
"Oh, it's you," I grumbled disappointingly.
"Well, good morning to you, too," Alice humphed, pretending to appear dejected.
"Sorry. Morning, Alice. Are they back yet?" I hesitantly asked.
"No, not yet, but don't worry. Everything should be just fine." Alice didn't seem as convincing as usual, and I needed to understand why.
"Um, Alice, you don't sound very sure of yourself. Can't you see what's happening?" I asked nervously.
"Don't worry," she replied, totally evading my question. "They're just going to reconfirm the treaty. They'll be back before you know it."
I looked at her quizzically, waiting for further explanations, but I got none.
As I started to open my mouth, Alice asked, "How do you like your phone?"
"Oh, um, I haven't really looked at it yet," I replied, glancing around the room, wondering if Edward had charged it. I hadn't thought to do it myself.
"Bella, what's wrong? Don't you like it?" Alice asked.
"I'm surprised you didn't see my reaction," I replied, feeling a little annoyed at the reminder of the gift.
"Well, I did see that Edward would need to do some convincing, but eventually you took it. Was I wrong?" Alice asked, looking concerned.
"No, I suppose not. It's just that – "
"What is it, Bella?" Alice asked even though the look in her eyes made her seem a hundred miles away.
"It's just that Edward gave me such an extravagant present, you know? All I gave him was my old snow globe," I retorted, feeling disheartened.
"Do you not understand how precious your gift was to him?" she inquired, appearing surprised.
"Edward absolutely loved it," Alice said, pointing to a shelf.
Sure enough, there it was sitting between an autographed baseball and a picture of me.
I didn't recall anyone ever taking a picture of me while I was at school, but sure enough there I was. I must have been talking with Angela because the only time I didn't feel annoyed or aggravated at school was when she and I chatted. I actually had a smile on my face. Maybe I was thinking of Edward. I would have to ask where he got that picture.
"If Edward had a spare phone sitting around, would it have made you feel any better?" she asked, eying me suspiciously.
"Maybe?" I replied, my answer coming out in the form of a question. "No. Not really. Either way he'd have to pay a monthly service fee."
"So this is just about money?" Alice asked and I nodded in affirmation.
"Bella, Bella, Bella. What are we going to do with you?" she wondered out loud. "You need to relax. I've seen several scenarios, and none of them play out well because you refuse to understand how we view money."
I tried to interrupt her, but Alice ignored me and kept talking.
"We have more than enough money to sustain us forever. One day, Edward will explain everything to you in great detail, but suffice it to say that nothing he gives you will ever cause any of us financial hardship." Alice laughed uncontrollably as I looked on, utterly dumbfounded.
She took full advantage of my speechlessness as she continued.
"The great joy it will bring Edward if you allow him to give you gifts is beyond your imagination," she said, smiling so widely I'm thought her face would crack in half. For a moment she was quiet, allowing me to find my voice, and I seized upon the opportunity to speak.
"But that's not why I want to be with him," I hurriedly responded. "And besides, I have nothing to give him in return."
Alice rolled her eyes.
"That's where you're mistaken," she answered, a serious tone to her voice. "You can't see the changes in Edward. You don't know what he was like all these years, but I can see it, and I don't even need my gift for this one, although it helps," she snickered. "Perhaps one day you will understand, but in the meantime, you're just being silly, and you need to stop. How would you feel if Edward had rejected your present?"
"Horrible," I gasped.
"Do you want Edward to feel that way as you reject his gifts time and time again because you're too stubborn to accept his generosity?" Alice asked determinedly.
"No. I guess I never thought about it that way. I've never really liked receiving presents because I don't like being the center of attention." I was looking down, playing with the hem of my shirt.
"Well, I suppose we can make sure Edward keeps his gift-giving to when the two of you are alone, but other than that you'll need to learn to accept things from him. It's very important that you allow him to do this for you because you each fill the other's needs in very different ways."
I began to protest, but Alice continued.
"As I said, depending on how you react to the gifts Edward gives you, very different outcomes can occur and some are not so good."
"What have you seen, Alice?" Now I was very curious, but she refused to elaborate.
"Just accept accept his gifts graciously, m'kay?" she insisted.
I had had enough of this particular conversation. I wanted to change the subject. Sort of.
"Alice, you seemed surprised by the snow globe. Didn't you see me giving it to him?" I was curious as to how her talent worked. Edward had briefly explained it, but I wanted to know more. Initially, I had been hesitant to ask, but I was a bit annoyed with Alice at the moment so I didn't feel the need to hold back.
"Well, I wasn't actually looking," Alice replied. "I thought Edward had explained this to you."
"Well, he said your visions change depending on what people decide. You see the course they're on while they're on it, but if they change their minds, the visions change," I said, reflecting over what Edward had mentioned the other night before the movie.
"That's fairly accurate," Alice mused. "Did he tell you anything else about me?"
"Uh, no. Not really. Why?" My curiosity was now officially peaked.
"I didn't think he would," Alice replied with a sigh. "Though I had hoped he would mention something about it, but I suppose he's been a bit preoccupied," she giggled.
I looked at her quizzically, but Alice didn't elaborate.
I was still tired. Alice looked a little distracted so I decided to lay back down to try to get a bit more shut-eye. Just as I pulled the blankets over my head, I heard Alice.
"What in the world are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm trying to sleep," I whined. "Need more rest."
"Won't be like that forever," Alice muttered, getting my attention and causing me to sit straight up in bed.
"What did you say?" I asked a bit forcefully.
"Nothing," she replied, shaking her head.
"You and Edward can be so infuriating at times," I grumbled as I proceeded to go close my eyes, knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to sleep. If I was lucky, I could rest my eyes for a bit. Just then I heard Alice sigh.
"He'll know we talked as soon as he gets back," she murmured. "Oh well, I warned him."
"I have no idea what you're mumbling about, but I get cranky when I don't get enough rest so either tell me what's on your mind or let me be," I ranted as feelings of frustration began to overtake me.
"Settle down, Bella," Alice stated. "Let's talk."
I sat up and leaned against the headboard.
"I don't remember anything about being human. Nothing. One day I woke up, and I was a vampire."
"Is that normal?"
"No. Not at all. Human memories fade over time, but we usually remember some things, at least that's what I've been told. But not me. Don't know why. That's just how it was."
"So, you don't remember how you became a vampire?"
Alice shook her head. "Even if I had...you need to discuss it with Edward."
"But..."
"No. Talk to Edward. That's all I'm sayin'."
I sat on the bed, sulking a little, but that just made Alice giggle. I tried to act all annoyed, but after a minute or two, I started laughing with her.
"Come on. Let's get you some breakfast. Esme's been cooking."
Alice smiled as she hopped off the bed. I grabbed my robe and followed, being careful not to fall down the stairs.
I looked over the spread set out on the dining room table. "Who else is coming?"
"I went a little overboard, didn't I?" Esme asked as I took in the vast quantities of eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, waffles, biscuits and gravy, fruit and juice. I didn't want to make her feel bad, but there was no way I could eat even a fraction of the food.
"Maybe you could bring this over to the police station," I suggested. "I mean after I finish eating," I smiled and laughed. "I'm sure the guys would love it – I know the guys at Forks PD would, but that's a little far to drive."
Alice nodded and clapped. "Fabulous idea, Bella. Yes, I can see that working out nicely."
I ate until I thought I would explode. I didn't want to hurt Esme's feelings so I tried a little of everything, but even that was too much. I finally put down my fork and knife, wiping my face with a napkin.
"That was delicious. Thank you."
"Any time dear." Esme looked like she wanted to say something and if I hadn't been watching, I would have missed the silent exchange between her and Alice. It was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "Thank you."
I looked at her questioningly.
"You have made Edward so very happy. You've helped give him back a piece of himself that's been missing for a very long time. He was so unhappy, so melancholy, but now – " She smiled.
I didn't really know what to say. I only knew what he was like now, and as a particular memory flashed through my mind, I suddenly started to laugh. If they were happy with the controlling, self-righteous man who had appeared at my house telling me who I could and could not see, well – I would have hated to see how bad he was before.
Alice started giggling, and Esme appeared confused for lack of a better word.
"He was worse than he is now?" I asked through my laughter.
"He's delightful in comparison," Alice replied, chuckling.
A big smile spread across Esme's face. "Everything is relative, Bella," she said, snickering.
After a few more minutes of cavorting, mostly at Edward's expense, I decided to get dressed and head home. I knew he was expecting me to be here upon his return, but something told me I needed to go. As I looked over at Alice, I noticed the faraway look in her eyes and wondered if she was having a vision. She shook her head, appearing irritated.
"Alice, what is it?"
"Ugh. I can't see anything when they're involved," she mumbled.
"What are you talking about? See what? Who?"
"For some reason when the wolves are involved, my visions stop...people disappear...I can't see how the meeting is going because everyone is together," she said, scowling.
I gasped. "You can't see that everything is okay?" I felt my heart start to beat faster as my anxiety level took it up a notch.
"Bella, calm down. I'm sure they're fine. I just can't see when they're coming back, and I can't see you after you get home. That could only mean –"
"Jacob," I spat. "Why would he be at my house? I don't want to see him or talk with him for that matter?"
"I don't know," she said softly.
"I guess I really better go."
"No, Bella. Stay here until Edward gets back. I have to keep you safe. If anything were to happen to you –"
"Alice, breathe."
She looked at me, raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"Okay," I snorted. "You know what I mean."
Alice laughed – it sounded like bells ringing. I didn't think I'd ever get used to that.
"Go," she said smiling. "I may not be able to see, but I have a feeling that everything will work out fine. I'll let Edward know where to find you. Why don't you send him a text – he'll be happy you're using the phone."
I grinned, knowing she was right as I headed upstairs to change.
By the time I got back downstairs all the food had been packed up, and I felt bad for not offering to help. "Sorry for running out on you...I should have stayed to help clean up."
"Don't be silly," Esme said, smiling. "It's already taken care of."
"Thanks again, it was delicious," I answered as I turned back to Alice. "Everything okay?"
She scrunched up her face. "I still can't see, but I think it's good. Drive safely, and for heaven's sake, please keep your phone on and in a place that's easily accessible. The last thing we need is you getting into an accident because Edward calls and you fumble for the phone."
"Ha ha, very funny. I think I could manage – " No sooner did those words escape my mouth did I realize Alice was right. "Yeah, okay. Fine," I huffed as I headed out the door to my truck.
The drive home was uneventful. I had sent Edward a text letting him know exactly what time I left just in case the meeting finished before I got home. I had a feeling he was going to be uptight, and I didn't want to give Edward anything else to worry about.
Just as I pulled up to the house, my mother ran outside.
"There you are," she shouted. "I've been worried."
I looked at my watch only to find it was barely 10:00 am so I couldn't understand what had gotten my mother all worked up. "Everything okay?" I asked as casually as possible.
"Jacob has called several times. He sounded worried."
"Mom, you need to relax," I said, shaking my head. "I'll call him back in a little while."
"You will?" she asked, eying me suspiciously.
"Ugh, really? I'm just being polite. I'll see what he wants, but I'm sure it's nothing."
I turned to grab my bag and walk into the house when I called her. "Mom?"
"Yes, honey?"
"He's with Leah, remember?"
"Uh huh. I just hoped..." my mother sounded like she'd lost her best friend.
"You know, you can still hang out with his mom. You don't need me and Jacob to be together for that."
"I know, but things with Sarah just seem different now. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something has changed. Perhaps we both kind of hoped something would develop over time..." Her voice trailed off as she got a dreamy look in her eye. I just shook my head and continued walking toward the house.
As I walked in the door, I could hear my grandparents talking. I headed straight for the living room to give them hugs and kisses. They'd be leaving in a few short days, and I wasn't sure when we'd see them again. As I headed upstairs to unpack, the kitchen phone rang. Somehow I knew it was Jacob, and I really didn't want to talk with him.
I paused on the steps, waiting to be summoned to the phone, but after a moment or two, I continued my ascent. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard a loud banging on the door. Looking out the window, I expected to see a car, but there was none, at least not one that I could see from my bedroom window. I was about to return to my thoughts of Edward when Renee called to me.
"Bella, there's someone here to see you."
As I came down the stairs I could hear voices talking happily and before my foot reached the next step I knew who it was. My mother had apparently neglected to share that bit of information with me. All this werewolf – vampire enemy nonsense was giving me a massive headache.
As I entered the living room, my mom jumped up from her chair. "Look who dropped by to see you," she said excitedly.
I nodded, trying to smile as I somehow managed to conjure up enough energy to wave slightly. "Hi, Jake."
"Um, hi, Bells. Wanna go for a walk?" He seemed antsy. He wouldn't look me in the eyes, and I began to wonder what precisely happened at their meeting. I reached into the pocket of my jeans, hoping my phone was there, but it wasn't. I didn't remember if I'd left it in the truck or my bag, but I needed to find it. I really didn't need Edward over-reacting to Jacob's sudden visit.
"Sure. Just give me a minute, okay?" I said, heading toward the stairs before finishing my sentence. I quickly searched for the phone, but it wasn't anywhere in the room. I was suddenly worried that my phone had been left in the truck the entire time I'd been home. I hoped that Edward would not freak out and come looking for me only to find Jacob. As I thought about the possible confrontation I became nervous. I quickly ran downstairs, hoping I wouldn't trip on the way down. I tried to put on my best happy face before entering the room, but one look at Jacob told me I had failed miserably.
"Uh, let's go, shall we?" I stated.
"Sure. Nice meeting you," Jacob said to my grandparents. "Good to see you again, Mrs. S."
"Have fun, kids," Renee said, smiling.
I rolled my eyes as I walked out the door and toward my truck.
"Where are we going?" Jacob asked.
"Oh, I'm just getting something out of the truck. We can take a walk up the path if you want."
"How about if we hang out on the rez today? I'm sure Leah would enjoy spending time with you," Jake mumbled.
"Thanks, but no thanks," I said a bit too sarcastically. "I'd prefer to stay here."
Jacob opened his mouth to say something, but apparently thought better of it and closed it again. I found my phone and was sort of surprised that there were no missed calls or texts. Since Jake was at my house, I had assumed the meeting was over, but perhaps it wasn't. Maybe he hadn't been in attendance after all.
I quickly pocketed the phone, expecting Jacob to have started walking toward the well worn path behind my house, but he surprised me by being right next to me, causing me to stumble. He grabbed me, preventing me from falling, but his hands felt wrong. Too warm. I immediately pulled away.
"What the hell, Bella?"
"You...startled me," I replied, backing up and putting some space between us.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "More than you know." He looked so sad, but I didn't understand why.
"Did something happen with Leah?"
"What? No. She's fine. Why do you ask?"
"You seem, I don't know, upset?"
"I'm just sorry for not being around for so long. I'm sorry for saying that we couldn't be friends. I'm sorry that there's this distance between us now, and I'm worried it will never be the same again," he said, looking down at the ground as we walked.
"It won't ever be the same. Some things can't ever be undone," I replied. Even though I never wanted more from him than friendship, I did miss his company, but I knew that by choosing Edward, Jacob and I never would be friends again, not really. Unfortunately, that was just how it was going to be. I had loved Edward for most of my life, even if I hadn't realized it at the time. Jacob, as much as he had helped me, could never completely heal me.
Only Edward could. And he had.
I shivered, but didn't feel cold. I glanced over at Jacob, and he was looking around, still rather nervous. I wondered if Edward was nearby. I kept walking, trying to think of what else we could talk about that would distract him.
"So, are you ready for school to start again?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure," he mumbled.
Jacob seemed distant, preoccupied. His behavior was beginning to set me on edge.
"What's the matter?"
He just shook his head. "This was a bad idea," he muttered.
I looked at him questioningly, but when he huffed as if I was keeping him from something important, I couldn't hold back my frustration any longer.
"You know what, Jake. Go home and don't come back. You don't need to feel obligated to come here. Our parents can be friends without getting us involved. You have Leah and I have –"
Luckily I stopped myself before it was too late.
Jacob, however, heard what I'd said and hadn't said.
"You have who? Or should I say what?" he spat bitterly. I was determined to keep Edward out of this, if possible, so I ignored Jacob's rant and continued on with my thought.
"I have to worry about graduating so I can go to college. I don't have time for your childish games," I said exasperatedly.
"Bella, don't be like that." Jacob had that puppy dog look in his eyes. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. I can't seem to stop hurting you."
"Jake, we're growing up. Our lives are headed in different directions. It happens. Even to the best of friends. I know you'll be okay – you have Leah now. I think she's good for you. I want you to be happy, but you need to let me go. I can't be a part of your life. You'll stay on the rez, and I'll be graduating and going to away to school. I'll meet new people, maybe make new friends. What we had, what we shared will always be important to me, but we need to let go. You need to let go. I can take care of myself."
"Can you?" he asked, sounding resentful.
I nodded and picked up his hand. He was so much stronger, warmer, than he had been, but deep down he was still my friend and that's what I wanted him to remember.
"Yes. I know what I'm doing. Trust me."
He looked at me warily. I knew he wanted to say something so I remained quiet, listening. I waited, but after a minute he turned, pulling his hand out of my grasp and headed back in the direction we'd just come. I started to follow, but nearly slammed into his back when he stopped short.
"Wherever you go, whatever you do, just be careful, Okay?" Jacob said softly.
I nodded.
I took a step forward, when he abruptly reached for my hand. Startled by his actions, I was about to pull back when he spoke.
"I'll always be your friend, please remember that. You can talk to me about anything."
Somehow I knew exactly what he was referring to, and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd been at the meeting after all. I suspected he knew about me and Edward. I thought Jacob would have been a bit more vocal in his concerns and objections, but perhaps he understood.
His words and actions calmed me, bringing a smile to my face.
With that sense of peace surrounding me, we walked back to my house in relative silence, hand in hand.
"Where's your car?"
"I,uh, got dropped off."
"Do you want to come in and use the phone?"
"No...I'm gonna meet Sam at the diner for a bit and then we'll head back to the rez. Take care, Bella," he said reluctantly.
"Yeah, you, too, Jake." I smiled. I stood on the porch until Jacob turned the corner and was out of my line of sight. If Edward was watching he'd probably be upset, but for once he would need to understand. I had for all practical purposes, just said good bye to my friend. Jake knew it, and I knew it. It was possible that we'd see each other again, especially if our parents continued with their friendships, but it would never be the same between us. His life would forever be devoted to being a werewolf, protecting the reservation, and mine, hopefully, would be spent with Edward. I didn't know precisely what that meant or entailed, but I was certain of one thing. A single lifetime with Edward was not enough. I needed more.
I needed forever.
I still had to learn how I could get eternity with Edward, but there was no doubt in my mind that was what I wanted.
I walked into the house to find Renee peering around the corner, waiting for me like a vulture.
"What did you and Jake talk about? Why was he so anxious to see you? He seemed to leave in a bit of a hurry."
My mother was full of inane questions for which I had no patience. All I really wanted to do was call Edward. I had hoped he would have responded to my text by now and wondered why he hadn't.
"Um, I'm not really sure. I guess he just wanted to apologize for his behavior over the past few months." I glanced at Renee, shrugging.
"And..."
"And nothing. He's with Leah and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less." I shook my head, knowing my mother wanted more information; she loved gossip.
She wouldn't get anything else from me.
"I still need to unpack and do some laundry. I'll be back in a little bit," I stated, heading upstairs.
I smiled to myself as I reached the top of the landing. Before even walking into my bedroom, I knew he was there. I wasn't sure how, but I was certain. Edward was just on the other side of the door.
As I entered the room, I saw a flash. It startled me, causing me to clutch my hand over my chest, trying to steady my tell-tale heart. Before my eyes could focus, I was being pulled against something hard. I tried to take a calming breath when the overwhelming scent of Edward completely invaded my consciousness. I suppose on some level I had known it was him along along, but I'd never seen him move that quickly before.
"Anxious to see me?" I asked, trembling slightly.
"I'm so sorry – I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just...I've missed you," he whispered as his lips caressed the top of my head.
"It hasn't been that long," I mumbled, feeling silly for my overreaction. "How was the meeting?"
"Okay. Good. Fine," Edward replied, seeming at a loss for words.
"So...no problems?"
"Nope."
I noticed he wasn't looking at me as he placed gentle kisses all over my head and neck. I wanted to know what had really happened, but he was distracting me.
"Edward, what are you doing?" I whispered.
"Showing you how much you're loved. It's felt like days, not hours, that we were apart. I don't want to be away from you ever again." His words were so full of emotion, but he wasn't making any sense.
"You know school will be starting again. You'll have to be away from me then," I said though my voice was barely audible.
"No, well, I mean yes, but I'll be at the school, watching you. At least I'll be able to see you through the minds of those around you. I never want to be distanced from you ever again." Edward pulled me closer so I wrapped my arms around his waist, snuggling my cheek into his chest.
"Okay...but what about when you need to eat...hunt...whatever?"
"We'll work it out, don't worry," Edward said, taking my face into his hands as he cupped his cool, long fingers around my cheeks. He slowly tilted my head back as I raised my eyes to meet his. I was a bit surprised when I noticed the color of his eyes. They weren't black like the last time he got, uh, overstimulated, but they weren't their usual gold color, either. They were darker.
"Edward, are you okay?" I wasn't really afraid, just nervous. I didn't want him to run away or plaster himself to the wall again.
"Yes," he murmured, inhaling deeply. "I'm fine and you're...perfect."
Edward escorted me over to my bed, sitting us down together, never releasing his hold on me, his gorgeously crooked smile lighting up my room. Keeping my hands in his, he turned slightly, facing me.
"Have I told you today how much you mean to me – how much I love and adore you?"
"Um," was all I managed to squeak out.
"If I have been inattentive, please forgive me," Edward said quietly. "You are the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on."
I blushed twenty shades of red as he ran a finger down the side of my face and then along my neck. I couldn't help but gasp at the sensations that ran though my body at his gentle touch. I tried to refocus my thoughts on the questions I wanted to ask him, the details I wanted to hear concerning the meeting he'd attended, but my body was at war with my mind.
And feeling won out over thinking.
Without making a conscious decision to do so, my hands found themselves in his hair, stroking his scalp as I tried to pull his face closer to mine. I couldn't seem to get close enough. I felt passion ignite like never before as I wiggled my way closer and closer to him. Before I realized it, I found myself flat on my back, Edward kneeling over me. But unlike the last time, his eyes were warm, and all I saw was adoration emanating from them.
"Bella, I love you," he whispered softly as he leaned forward to kiss my forehead.
"I love you," I said, my voice full of conviction.
He pulled back slightly. He stared into my eyes for what seemed like an hour. I was about to speak when he smiled and moved to sit back on his heels. Extending his hands toward me, I took them as he helped me sit up. I leaned against the bed's headboard as he took his place next to me, placing an arm around my shoulder and pulling me against him.
I leaned my head on his chest and found myself tracing patterns on his shirt over where his silent heart resided. My mind was full again with thoughts of how I could remain with Edward. Did I even have a choice or would I remain human and age while Edward was forever seventeen? I couldn't wrap my head around what loving him meant for me and our future, but he needed to talk to me. Alice had refused to discuss certain matters several times already.
I sighed.
"Bella, what's the matter?"
"I just...I've tried...Alice won't...oh, never mind," I said, feeling stupid for worrying about such things when I wasn't even sure of what was happening in the Fall, let alone next year or in two or three years down the road.
"I'm never leaving you." Edward's voice sounded determined.
"That's not exactly what I was thinking about, but it's good to know," I said, attempting to smile.
"Then what is it, Love?"
"What sort of future do you see with me?" I asked nervously.
As I glanced over at Edward I could have sworn I saw a panicked look quickly pass over his face before settling back into a calm expression.
"I want to be with you forever," he said, a loving smile stretching across his face
"I like that idea, but what exactly does that mean?"
I was excited. Perhaps I would finally get some of the answers I was seeking when I heard my name.
"Bella!"
Edward chuckled. "It seems your mother would like you to join them for lunch."
"I'm not hungry," I muttered.
"If you don't go downstairs, she's going to come and get you," he said with a smirk. "I promise I'll return later."
"Fine," I huffed. Faster than I could blink my eye Edward was out the window.
I headed downstairs, thinking of all the ways I wanted to strangle my mother for the second time today.
x-o-x-o-x-o
AN: Well, Bella is thwarted again by her meddling mother *snickers*. Thanks to everyone who has added this story to their favorites, signed up for update alerts and reviewed. Please continue to let me know what you think – it's nice to hear from you. Thanks!