The Confession

When Emma awoke she found herself under a protective canopy of vines, shielding her from the elements that were much in keeping with her outlook. Rain lashed and wind whipped, the atmosphere heavy with an outpouring of despair while thrashing out its grievances. Once Emma was fully conscious she pondered whether or not these manifestations actually were a direct reflection of her current state. Could she be causing the havok swirling around her? The inner workings of her being, the part of herself that was Enchanted in nature, could it have called upon the elements to unleash the emotions she'd been unable to in her sleep?

No sooner had the thought taken up root than the winds began to die down and the rain slowed to a patter. Emma crawled out from her dry sanctuary, muddying her garments as she knelt before the still sealed archway. She tried to call upon the magic she now knew resided within her, but she had no idea how to initiate its response. Previous instances of its workings had happened without cognizant thought, and no amount of applied force of her will could get the fortifying branches to budge from the portal.

"Killian!" she shouted, her hands clawing at the vines, to no avail. "Tink! Please! Please!"

She collapsed onto the sodden ground, hot tears of anguish and anger burning against her lids before slipping past to roll down her cheeks. No, she sniffled, wiping furiously against their wetness. She had shed enough tears. Now was the time for action. Sunset wasn't for several more hours yet. If she focused, perhaps she could get a handle on her magic before the realms aligned, allowing her open the archway. Killian owed her an explanation. She did not doubt he believed he'd done the right thing by her, but she was weary of the unbalance when it came to the knowledge he possessed in comparison to her ignorance.

How was she to form a proper opinion, a proper response, a proper decision - and it was her decision to make - on whether or not she'd been wrong about him if she did not have all of the pertinent facts? There may not have been time for him to offer up a full confession before dawn had arrived, but Emma would do all she could to make sure when the sun set he could no longer bar her from the realm he'd insisted was her birthright. She would maximize each hour of the approaching night to sate her curiosity and make her own decision of which realm she wished to belong.

During her preparations, Emma discovered the vines had released their hold over the cottage and had created a briar hedged barrier along the perimeter of her property. Was it to keep her in, or intruders out, she wondered, and began to test its responsiveness to her concentrated cogitations. After many hours of practice, she finally identified the quivering that trembled deep within, the one that had rooted itself to her innermost being while she'd roamed the Enchanted realm with Killian. When accessed it rippled like displaced waters of a still pond when a pebble was thrown into it, stretching outward from the point of contact with fluid malleability to conform itself to her will.

The briars and brambles parted outside her front courtyard, the creaking of their timbers the only protest to her newly acquired mastery over the quivering she now knew to be the Enchanted part of herself. With the vines' obedience well in hand, Emma made her way back to the garden and focused her concentration on the archway. The ripples of her magic crashed against the arch, and the exertion upon the quivering left her with a physical tremor coursing through her body, yet the vines would not give.

"You cannot deny me access forever, Tink!" she shouted, unsure if the Enchanted sentry could even hear her, though she knew this had to be Tink's magic. She'd been the one to seal the portal in the first place, the one who had caused the vines to take hold of her, returning her to the Mortal realm before daylight could touch the arch, all at Killian's command.

Killian's command.

Why would the sentry the prince, her father, had placed to guard the portal, effectively leaving them in control of who could and could not access it, take such commands from Killian? Emma was starting to feel as though she knew less of him now than she did when he was simply her neighbor.

Momentarily defeated, Emma turned with the intention of waiting in her cottage until night fell to see if she could persuade Tink to open the barrier, when her eyes landed on a scrolled parchment tied with a very familiar length of velvet on the garden bench. With the pages unfurled before her, Emma took her usual seat upon the stone surface and began reading the words that would decide her heart's fate

My Dearest Swan,

I know I have no right to call you my dearest, not after all I have done, but as it is the least of my offenses, I am sure you shall overlook it once the fullness of this confession has reached its end.

I meant it when I said I am not the man you believe me to be; one that is honorable with promptings and compulsions towards that which is right and just. Would that you had known my brother, Liam, for he was always the nobler one. He was the one whose heart sought justice whilst mine sought vengeance, it was under his guidance and influence that I had hoped to become a man of honor one day. Unfortunately, my compulsions have always lent themselves towards darker promptings.

You see, I am not one of the Enchanteds that held with the beliefs of the benevolent king, your grandfather. Ever since Mortals caused the death of my mother, my view of humans has been soured at best. It was her death, and my dissatisfaction at the justice that was meted out against the villagers responsible, that prompted Liam to suggest we take our fortunes to the sea. I believe it was his hope that building camaraderie with Mortals whom we served with might curb my growing animosity towards their kind. It very well might have, had fate not designed the death of the king when it had.

By the time we returned to the forest to pay our respects, hostilities between the Mortals and the Enchanteds had nearly reached their breaking point. The line had been drawn, with our kind taking sides between your father and your uncle's ideals. Naturally, Liam believed as your father did, that peace could and should be maintained between our kinds, but he was never given the opportunity to cast his lot in with the prince.

Liam was lured into the village where an ambush awaited him, the villagers had declared open season on Enchanteds whom they felt were a threat to their livelihood, blaming us for the drought they'd experienced. My brother died in my arms, and with his passing, any amount of charity I might have found towards Mortals was buried with him. I do not offer this as any sort of excuse for what came next, only as a basis of understanding for how my grief fed the darker nature I had fought so hard to suppress. After Liam's death, I cast my lot with your uncle, relishing the chance to make all Mortals pay for what they had done to my family.

I will spare you the gruesome details of my services during the war, love. Just know that they were reprehensible and numerous. I wish I could I say I had been at the mercy of deplorable orders from an unconscionable man, but truth be told, I gave my obedience willingly. Many of the directives inadvertently allowed me to take out vengeance against the village in small but ruthless measures, and I believed my loyalty would be rewarded at the end of the conflict in the form of its utter destruction.

Though I came close to the precipice several times, fate in its fickle nature pulled me back from fully succumbing to my darkness by revealing an even darker truth. Though my brother's death had been at the villagers' hands, the orchestration of his ambush had been composed by the very Enchanted to whom I had sworn my loyalty. James knew he would never gain Liam's allegiance, but had sense my vacillation on the matter of Mortals. He had my brother murdered in order to drum up sympathizers to his cause and garner my oath, knowing he could manipulate me to do his vile bidding.

With nothing more to lose after this revelation, I went to your father and shared all that I knew of James' strategies. He had me imprisoned as a war criminal, and I most certainly did not blame him. Once my intel proved itself true and turned the tide of the war, your father believed my account, and even went as far as to apologize on his brother's behalf for the fate of mine.

After James was deposed and fled into hiding, David offered me a full pardon with one stipulation - I release my vendetta against the village. I gave him my word that I would not seek vengeance against the villagers, instead channeling my rage to the task of rounding up those who had served James, in order to bring them to justice.

It was during this time, I discovered a sinister plot. Rumors had begun to circulate that the prince had taken a wife in secret. Upon her life was set a large bounty, no doubt ordered by James. It was this direct threat that caused your father to create the schism. I confess to having felt betrayed when I learned he'd taken a Mortal as a bride, for under Enchanted law, no Blended can ascend the throne, and given the sacrifice he'd made, David would not be guaranteed a long reign by Enchanted standards, leaving the option open for James to reclaim the throne.

Fond as I was of your mother, I stewed in my bitterness for many months over the selfishness I attributed to your father's actions. The root of that bitterness bloomed one night when I willfully entered the Mortal realm, intending to exact my revenge on the village, justifying the breaking of my vow on how they had begun to treat Snow for living so close to the forest. It was this night that you were born, and charged into my care. Your father asked for my vow, believing he could trust my word, oblivious to the fact that I had broken my previous vow to him, even if only through intent. The shame that overwhelmed me in that moment caused the air to go still, nearly taking the final breaths of your parents and briefly silencing your cry.

That night I did not just vow to watch over and protect you, I vowed to be the man I wanted to be. A man of honor. It has not been easy. There were many times I had to curb my instincts to lash out against those who had caused you pain, but you made me want to be better than I am, love.

I wanted to be better a man for you, Swan. You deserve that. Someone honorable like my brother, or noble like your father, but I fear the bar they set is far too high, and all I'll ever do is fail you, and myself. For indeed, I already have.

The villagers attacked you last night because of my actions. I used their cruelty towards you as justification to finally enact the revenge I've craved for centuries. I stole their children in the dead of night, forever sealing them in the Enchanted realm, as I had planned to do with you, then cast a spell that would inhibit the villagers from moving about until I could return. That was the matter I told you I had to attend to when I left the garden last night.

I will not share what I had planned, for I cannot bring myself to voice it even on this parchment. Be assured that I have since relinquished my scheme, and with Tink's help, I believe I have found a way to return the children.

I am under no allusions that any of this will atone for the atrocities I have committed, nor grant me favor in your sight. I had wanted to win your heart without trickery, and though I have always been honest in my estimations of you, I acknowledge to having manipulated circumstances to my own ends. I only hope that if you have the inclination to think of me, you will remember me as the man I wished to be… a man of honor.

One day, I hope you are able to forgive me for what I've done, and for what I am about to do.

Yours Always,

Killian