A/N: Reminder, this story is rated M. Song link on my profile. Actually, this is the song that inspired me to continue this story when I first got the idea for it. I almost named this story Going Through the Motions. ;)

Thanks to my wonderful betas, staceygirl aka jackbauer and bronzehairedgirl620. They help me make this story reader worthy.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. Copyright 2009 by the author writing under the pen name, OliviaJane. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

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Ch. 14 No Regrets

RPOV

"The Motions"
By Matthew West

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

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With the start of the fall semester right around the corner, Emmett and I greedily took advantage of any offer of babysitting from our friends and family. We knew once school started, we'd both get bogged down with classes and homework.

Emmett's time would soon be consumed with football practices and games on top of everything that went along with school.

Tonight happened to be one of those coveted date nights. Alice offered up her and Jasper's services and even offered to keep her overnight over at her house. Her intentions were more than obvious. She was shameless with her attempts to move my relationship with her dear brother to a higher level. She had the whole evening planned out from Emma's favorite meal to mini pedicures. The whole "girl's night in" modified for a two year old. I was sure Jasper was looking forward to an evening of pampering with the girls.

Our original plan had been to keep things simple, dinner and a movie, but the weather had other ideas. Not two seconds after stepping out of the pizzeria, the heaven's opened up and drench us both through and through before we could reach the car.

That is how we found ourselves standing, soaked to the bone, in my foyer panting heavily after a heated lip lock. Both of our coats were lying at our feet where we'd already toed off our sopping shoes.

"Bedroom," I breathed returning my mouth to his.

So, I have completely lost my mind. This man has a knack for scrambling my brain. What exactly are we going to do in the bedroom? My body is in complete control at the moment. That can only mean one thing…Uh Oh!

As we continued pawing and slobbering all over each other, we stumbled and bumped our way down the hall, banging the door to my room open as we tripped our way inside.

God, I love this man. Hmm, maybe I do have partial use of my brain.

I did love Emmett with everything in my being, and in the past few days the growing urgency to share this feeling verbally was becoming all consuming. However, getting my mouth to function with my heart was another thing. Every time I thought I'd worked up the nerve, I'd freeze and lose all ability to speak, or some other outside distraction would make itself known as the words would started to fall from my lips.

Tonight, we had no distractions, and I was a girl on a mission. I'd be damned if I was going to let those pesky nerves stand in my way. It was time to make a change. It was time to stop living in the past. It was time to share this one last part of myself with the man I had every intention of spending the rest of my life with. That is if he wanted to come along for the ride.

I knew I still had to come clean with him about Roy, but I was a selfish creature by nature. I knew Emmett loved me, but I needed to hear those three words spoken from his lips before I could ever find the courage to share those horrific events of my past with him.

As my hormones raged my hands slid from around Emmett's neck and fumbled mercilessly with the buttons on his shirt. Apparently my mind was starting to gain use of its faculties again.

Damn nerves!

He moved his hands over mine stilling their useless attempt of unfastening his buttons.

I sighed pressing my forehead to his chest.

"Rose, it's just me and you," he said in a reassuring tone, tilting my chin up so my eyes met his. "No rush. We can do as little or as much as we want. As long as it's with you, I'm content with whatever we do."

Having suddenly lost all confidence in myself I mumbled, "I'm sure I'd do it all wrong anyway."

"No," he sighed pressing his lips to my cheek leaning back again to look me straight in the eye. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're both amateurs here. Equal playing ground if you will."

If he only knew.

Taking in his heart felt and comforting words, I had a moment of bravery. In no way was I ready for Emmett to make love to me, but I was now ready to take a giant baby step towards to that final goal. I leaned back from his embrace, and said the words my heart had been longing to say for some time now, "I love you Emmett."

A huge smile spread across his handsome face as he returned the sentiment. "I love you too, Rose, more than my words could ever convey."

Stepping out of his embrace, I was a complete ball of nerves. But I knew that if I didn't do this now, I never would. This was my first step in reclaiming my life. Up until now all I'd been doing was existing; rising each and every morning in hopes of making it through the day to as peaceful a slumber as I could ever expect each night.

I reached for the tie at my waist, and with shaky hands, I began to undo the knot of my wrap around blouse tied at my hip.

"Rose, you don't have to do this," Emmett soothed reaching out for me.

I stepped back shaking my head. I had to, for me, if no one else. There was no turning back now. I continued saying nothing, knowing if I spoke, the anxiety I was feeling would over come me, and I would begin to cry. Having undone the knot, I looked at the floor too nervous to see his expression as I let the garment slide off my shoulders and fall to the floor.

I heard Emmett gasp, which nearly caused me to come undone.

Oh God, I am I as hideous as I feel.

I guess my horror shown on my face, because in that second I felt his hand caress my cheek drawing my face upward so that his gaze met mine.

"No, Rose. You're beautiful. More beautiful than I could have ever dreamed you would be." He hesitantly slid one arm around the small of my back carefully drawing me to him as if he knew moving too fast would spook me. The sensations that ran through my body as my bare skin pressed against the warmth of him was unimaginable. Wrapped in his embrace with such intimate contact it was as if I was finally home. Like I'd been lost, and I'd finally been found. There was no way I could ever repay God for sending this angel into my life.

"I love you, Rosalie Lillian Hale. More than I have, or ever will love another human being."

After gently kissing my lips, he gazed into my eyes as if asking for permission to proceed. I nodded as a single tear escape my eye. He brushed it away as his thumb tenderly caressed my cheek, and then he leaned forward and began a heavenly assault on my neck. As his tantalizing lips began their journey south, he lifted me up and placed me on the bed. His lips never broke contact as he positioned himself next to me.

Once he reached the swells of breast he hesitated as his thumbs caressed their sides. "Emmett," I sighed partly due to the overwhelming new sensations I was experiencing for the first time and part due to the panic that was beginning to rise. Yes, he'd feasted on them in front of God and man at Emma's birthday party, literally, but we were both still clothed at that time. This was farther than I'd ever been with anyone by choice before, and my body had finally taken control of the reigns.

He eased the zipper of my skirt down as if I were a delicate piece of China that would shatter with one wrong move. Sitting up, he slowly he inched tight fabric over my hips and down my legs, tossing it over his shoulder with a wicked grin.

I giggled. He looked like a kid who'd been given the keys to the candy store.

While obviously thrilled speechless, his gaze never left mine waiting for permission to appraise what laid under the garment he'd just removed using his deft skills. I nodded, and without hesitation he caressed me gently with his eyes as they moved from my face down to the tips of my toes and back up again, sending a shiver of excitement coursing through me.

"There are no words to describe your beauty Rose. Inside and out, you are the epitome of all that is beautiful in this world," he said lovingly, kissing my lips, and then moving down my neck.

"I could say the same about you," I trembled, my nerves mingled with desire. My fingers wound their way into his soft dark curls. I began to soften under his touch, a touch I never though I'd ever have a need for, until Emmett came along and rocked everything that was stable about my world.

I sighed and shivered under his warm touch.

"Rose, you tell me if I do something wrong, something that scares you," he said, as his lips grazed my shoulder.

"Okay," I said breathlessly. "But honestly, I don't how much longer I'll have the ability for coherent speech. You're driving me mad."

He chuckled.

I had no doubt he would go slow and take his time so as not to scare me in any form or fashion. I knew that we'd once gone at each other like ravenous dogs out in the yard, but this time it would be different. It would be gentle, and loving.

Feeling a tad bit self conscious being the only one missing any articles of clothing, I reached for the buttons on his shirt again. With swift precision, that even surprised me, his shirt was gone in a matter of seconds. I let it slide off the bed to join my previously discarded shirt and skirt somewhere on the floor.

I sat back gazing at one of God's finest creations. Running my hands over his broad shoulders and down the hard planes of his impressive chest and abs (oh yes, milk had done his body good) my nimble fingers made quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans. They too joined the ever growing pile of unwanted clothing that was building next to the bed.

"Impressive," I said teasingly, screaming 'jackpot' in my head as my eyes raked over his glorious form. I bit my lip when they landed squarely on the tent that had formed in the front of his black satin boxers covered with smiley faces.

"Really Em, smiley faces?" I giggled, hoping he wouldn't notice that my eyes were fixed on anything but those silly little yellow blobs.

"Anything to make my girl smile. Oh, and look it seems to have worked." His hand slid under my chin drawing my gaze up to meet his. He wiggled his brow at me. He knew darn well what I was admiring, and it had nothing to with the britches he was wearing.

Redeem yourself, Rose. Redeem. Yourself.

"I see you've got your big gun drawn and ready for battle." I smiled devilishly, biting my lower lip again.

"What am I going to do with you?" he laughed, laying me back against the pillows.

I held out my open arms, inviting him in. He eased into them, lying on his side so that he faced me.

"I'm serious Rose, I don't want to hurt you, please, if anything, anything I do scares you, you have to promise me that you'll let me know." He looked nervous about taking this any farther, even though I knew he'd suffer if we didn't. He'd have to be in the shower in no time flat to take care of his…bigproblem.

"Promise," I said, leaning in to kiss him, pleading for him to continue.

His concern, while sweet, wasn't necessary. I was ready to at least try, a little or should I say a lot of third base activity was not going to kill me. On the contrary, it was going to make me a very, very happy girl, and leave my longing for more.

His eager hands played across me in wonder as if I were an unknown land newly discovered. Just the feel of his hand on me left me speechless.

He smoothly unhooked clasp that held together the scrap of lace that offered little support to my ample breast, pulling it away. His large thumbs strummed across my erect peaks as if they were strings on a well tuned guitar.

"Oh, God," I moaned.

My heart, on the other hand, was completely out of tune. It went from thrumming to spluttering, from rapping to fluttering, it was completely out of rhyme. My nerves rose and fell as my mind fought the ever growing battle to keep them under control.

I reached out hesitantly to stoke the long hard length that now strained painfully against the seams of his silly boxers.

"Shit," he groaned, his teeth scraping against my skin in reaction to my ministrations.

Good Lord, he is so…so big.

He smiled ruefully down at me catching my awed expression, causing heat to rise in my cheeks. I had never been a blusher until I met him, and now I couldn't seem to stop.

Cocky Jackass!

He grabbed my hand bringing it to his lips, "Not yet," he chastised, the smile never leaving his face. He rolled away from me and off the bed, springing to his feet as if he'd just stuck a landing off the parallel bars at the Summer Olympics.

That's my man, always the clown.

"Oh, Emmett, are you going to strip for me?" Now it was he who was blushing.

What is this? Mr. Cool himself blushing? Who was he trying to kid? He was eating this shit up.

I turned to reach across the bed to my night table to turn on some music, but was stopped by firm hands grasping my shoulders, sliding me back against the pillow.

"No time for games, Rose," he said in all seriousness.

Feeling his firm body pressed to mine, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know that he was completely naked. Apparently he was Superman or something because he lost his boxers in the brief moment I'd turned away.

Okay, we'll save the strip tease for another time.

His kisses were hot and hungry. His hands were everywhere, as if he were a blind man trying to find home plate. My heart raced, and I feared it might pound right out of my chest. My need for him to do more was nearly overwhelming. One of my hands found its way back into his hair as the other journeyed over his shoulder and down his back.

His mouth move deftly down my neck, sliding across my left breast taking my taught and hardened nipple between his teeth, the sensation was exquisite. I moaned as he nibbled bringing it to full attention. He swallowed the sound as again he ravished my mouth, his tongue expertly stroking mine. He groaned with pleasure as I drew my leg up stroking his arousal against my thigh.

Ribbons of delight rippled through my body as his hand slid between my thighs moving agonizingly slow toward their final destination. My heart pound in anticipation of what was coming next. My body burned with want and need.

I gasped when his engorged length moved against me. Sending a shock wave straight threw my core.

Out of no where a panic attack slammed into me like a Mack Truck. My eyes shot open as my lungs constricted.

NO, I can't do this!

Fear washed over me like a rising tide on a summer's day. I began to gasp, unable to catch my breath.

"NO…no, no, no," I cried when I finally found my words. My hands pressed firmly against his shoulders in an effort to get him off of me.

Without hesitation he rolled to his side allowing me to sit up. I scooted away from him, grabbing one of the over-stuffed pillows to cover myself.

"I…I, can't Emmett. I'm sorry. I…I'm so sorry," I whimpered, sobbing into the pillow. "Time…I just need more time."

"Okay, it's okay Rose. Time is all we've got babe, and for you I'm willing to wait forever." He offered his hand in a comforting gesture. Without a second thought, I took it, and he immediately drew me into the sanctuary of his embrace.

"I love you Rose," he whispered as he pressed his lips to my temple. "No matter what."

"I love you too," I sighed. The night hadn't been a total failure. I was for Pete's sake close to butt naked pressed flush up against one very hot Cullen boy in a similar state of dress. No, scratch that, my man was butt naked. I was fairly certain I'd just outgrown my baby shoes. For all intents and purposes, this had been one giant leap for me.

A wave of emotion coursed through my body. Wanting to relish in this new found freedom, instead of losing myself in tears, I took in a deep breath and let it out shakily. At least if they did come this time they would be tears of liberation.

We both knew now, without a shadow of doubt, how we felt about each other. There would be no more hiding from the overwhelming feelings I had for this beautiful and most assuredly perfect man.

I nestled my head in the crook of his neck as I slipped into peaceful slumber, something that had become very foreign to me over the past two and a half years.

Even though he held me tighter that night than I'd ever been held before, I'd never felt so free.

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A/N: Comments? Thoughts? I'd love to hear them.

Our favorite couple is about to take an unexpected ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl next chappie. Prepare yourself. ;)

I have posted a one-shot for the Exploration of the Senses contest. It is called "That Which I Cannot Live Without". It is an Alice and Jasper story. Give it a looksie. I'd love to get some feedback from all of you.