Uncanny Justice League

Chapter 14: Platinum Blonde

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to DC.

Shout Outs-

Todd fan- Bruce will never live that down after the Flash finds out.

DarkKnight92- I get my ideas from reading too many comic books. As for Diana and Cheetah living together, check out 'Uncanny Wonder Woman'

Lil' Pup- Be patient, the GL/HG chapter will be along soon.

Doza- Like I said above, for more wackiness with Diana, Donna and Cheetah, check out 'Uncanny Wonder Woman'. I read that Gen-X fic ages ago. You're right, it was hella funny!

Justice League Watchtower-

It was business as usual as several members of the Justice league hung out in the cafeteria, chatting over coffee and what have you.

The cafeteria was one of the places that the Leaguers went to catch up on the gossip. Supergirl could usually be found holding court beside the coffee machine, gossiping to anybody that would listen. Today's topic of gossip was Diana's mystery houseguest.

'No, I swear…' Kara whispered. Zatanna, Crimson Fox and Vixen leant in closer so they could hear the gossip. 'Cheetah's moved in with Diana. I know a guy who knows a guy…'

'Oh, sure you do, Kara.' Zatanna snorted, crossing her arms. 'Remember the time you told us that Black Canary was pregnant? Poor Ollie almost had a coronary.'

'But it was awfully funny to see him floundering about like that, clutching his heart and all.' Vixen snickered. 'Poor Ollie, he's getting fragile in his old age.'

Elsewhere, one of the Justice League's newest members was sitting down for lunch.

Platinum was one a member of Metropolis' infamous Metal Men, a team of sentient robots created by Dr Will Magnus.

Platinum was the first metal man that Dr Magnus had built. Her powers included a super-malleable form that enabled her to stretch and morph her arms into basic weapons like knives and what have you. Just like her metallic namesake, Platinum's skin (if you could call it that) was a perfect silver sheen.

Growing bored of being seen only as the token female of a team full of male robots, Platinum quit the team to try and make it on her own.

Platinum's solo career had been rather eventful, not necessarily in a good way. If it weren't for her malleable form, Platinum would have been crushed to death on her first solo mission underneath a nuclear power station in a battle with Metallo. Even then Superman arrived to save the day, much to Platinum's discontent. After giving the Man of Steel a jolly good telling off, Superman suggested that Platinum should take a break from being a hero. That only served to aggravate her even more. Platinum soon proved herself worthy of Justice League sponsorship after she saved Green Arrow, Gypsy, and the Ray from the walking mass of poisonous chemicals known as Chemo.

Even though Platinum was a robot and didn't necessarily need sustenance, she still saw it fit to hang out with her fellow Leaguers in the cafeteria whenever the chance arose. Today she was sitting at a table with the wind elemental imprisoned in a robotic body known as the Red Tornado and the Scion of Darkseid: Orion

'How have you liked you first week with the Justice League, Platinum?' Red Tornado asked. 'I trust you have not found the missions too difficult?'

'That's if I was even asked to go on any missions.' Platinum sighed. 'All I've done so far is monitor duty.'

'That is the way for the League's newest members, I'm afraid.' Red Tornado shook his head. 'I am sure that Superman will allow you to join him on a mission soon enough.'

'Superman doesn't think I'm ready.' Platinum sniffed as she poked at a half-eaten bagel. 'I would have joined the JLI over in London if it wasn't for the debt I owe Green Arrow for sponsoring me for League membership in the first place.'

'That is unusual…' Red Tornado stroked his chin in thought. 'Batman is usually the one that has trust issues.'

'Haven't you heard…?' Platinum whispered as she leant in close. 'Batman and Diana…'

'Everybody has heard.' Orion butted in. 'And I for one am irritated by the constant chatter on the fact. Why sit around gossiping like old women when we could be crushing our foes' skulls?'

'Gee, you're a breath of fresh air, Orion.' Platinum sighed. 'Nobody's making you sit here.'

'It was either sitting at this table or sitting over there with Plastic Man.' Orion sneered.

Platinum turned her head to look over at another table where the shape-shifting jokester was sitting with J'onn J'onzz and the Flash.

'C'mon, J'onny…' Plas insisted. 'Pull my finger. Go on, you know you want to.'

'I did not fall for it the first time, and I shall not fall for it the second.' J'onn replied evenly.

'Aww, c'mon J'onn.' The Flash rolled his eyes. 'Indulge the poor guy. Not everybody can be as funny as me.'

'Oh yeah, you're a regular Buster Keaton.' Plas snorted.

'Buster who…?' Flash blinked.

'You kids don't have no taste.' Plas sighed in defeat as he looked for another victim. 'Hey, Orion! Pull my finger!'

Later-

It was the end of Platinum's shift and she was heading for the teleporters, which would beam her back down to Metropolis.

Platinum's robotic hearing detected rubbery feet and the swoosh of a tornado approaching her. She turned around to see Plastic Man running towards her with Red Tornado flying close behind.

'Tina! Tina! Tina!' Plas panted.

'Yes, that's my name.' Platinum sighed. 'Don't wear it out.'

'There's trouble…' Plas rested his hands on his knees. 'In Metropolis. Metallo. Smashing stuff up. Wants Superman.'

'But Superman's in space.' Platinum remembered. 'What'll we do now?'

'Go down there in Supes' place and kick his butt, of course.' Plas grinned as he morphed into a copy of Superman.' For truth, justice and… stuff.'

'This may strike you as strange, but I agree with Plastic Man.' Red Tornado added. 'We are the only Leaguers not busy elsewhere. We must stop Metallo before somebody is hurt.'

'This will look good on my resume.' Platinum tapped her chin in thought, a smile gracing her beautiful lips. 'It'll prove to Superman that I am ready to join the big table!'

'Gotta love a lady who knows her priorities.' Plas grinned as he took his place on the teleporter pad, waiting to be transported down to earth. 'Beam us down, Scotty…'

Platinum rolled her eyes at Plastic Man's comments.

'Must you say that every ti…'

Platinum's words were cut off as they disappeared in a flash of light.

Metropolis-

Metropolis was in a state of panic. The psychotic cyborg known as Metallo was trashing the whole city in search of Superman.

Unknown to Metallo, the Man of Steel was in space with a team of his fellow Leaguers diverting a Gordanian invasion fleet.

'Get your red-and-blue butt out here, Man of Steel!' Metallo bellowed as he tossed a gas tanker on the ground, kicking up the road in a mushroom cloud of dust and debris.

'Come out here you coward!'

'I'm sorry, but Superman isn't here right now. Please leave a message after the sound of your butt getting kicked.'

'The hell…?' Metallo blinked as he spun around to see Plastic Man, Platinum and Red Tornado ready for action.

An evil grin spread across the cyborg's skull-like face.

'Oh, this is fresh.' Metallo snorted. 'Superman chickened out so he sent the Little League instead. Ha! Give it up kiddies, you'll never win.'

'I take it you don't remember me, then?' Platinum frowned as she turned her arms into two giant knife blades.

'I fight a lotta people.' Metallo shrugged. 'What difference does one metal chippie make?'

'Never mind.' Platinum rolled her eyes. 'Prepare to be beaten, Metallo!'

'Bring it, sweetness!' Metallo challenged.

Platinum took on the role of leader as she barked orders.

'Reddy, Plas, you take care of the civilians. Take the injured to hospital. Metallo is mine!'

'But I wanna fight the robot…' Plas whined.

'You'll get a fight from me if you don't do as you're told.' Platinum frowned.

'On my way…' Plas yelped.

'Ooh, the girlie wants to play…' Metallo grinned as he cracked his robotic knuckles. 'But why star with a fight, why don't we get to know each other first? If you know what I mean.'

'Unfortunately, I do.' Platinum shuddered. 'And there's no way that I'd even contemplate getting to know you. I've already got eye on somebody.'

'Whatever.' Metallo shrugged. 'Let's go already…'

'Your wish is my command.' Platinum nodded as she leapt in to attack.

Platinum lashed out with her arm blades. Unfortunately, Metallo shrugged them off harmlessly.

'Is that all you got?' the villain snorted. 'C'mon babe, put up some kind of fight.'

'How about this?' Platinum sneered as she morphed one of her hands into a giant mallet and slugged Metallo on the chin, sending the villain smashing through an abandoned bus.

'Ooh, she's pretty and she's got the moves.' Metallo grinned as he got up from the ruined bus. 'All the pretty moves in the world aren't gonna help you now.'

'We'll see about that.' Platinum replied as she morphed her hands into a giant vice and picked Metallo up. 'You almost killed me when we first fought but I'm going to make sure you never get the chance!'

'W-wait…' Metallo asked, started to panic a little. 'Y-you're in the League. You guys don't kill…'

'I'm more of a probationary member.' Platinum responded as she began to squeeze the captured villain. 'I'm sure that the others won't mind if I kill just one villain. It's not like anybody'll miss you…'

With one final explosion of strength, Metallo burst out of Platinum's grip and slugged her on the chin.

'You don't have the guts!' Metallo snarled.

'Want a bet?' Platinum responded as she held out her arms as they began to morph.

Metallo gulped in fear as he watched the metallic heroin's arms change into miniguns.

'Now, I admit that at first I thought I could only morph my hands into simple stuff like knives and hammers, but I've learnt a few new tricks.'

The fight left Metallo as he began to back away.

'Just let me ask you one question…' Platinum said as she advanced on the villain. 'Do you feel lucky?'

Metallo made on last-ditch chance to attack Platinum s he charged at her with a yell. Unfortunately for Metallo, his charge was cut short as Platinum let rip with a barrage of bullets.

Metallo staggered backwards under the onslaught. He tried to defend himself but his opponent's attack kept on forcing him back. To add to Metallo's misfortune, his power cells were dangerously low.

Platinum halted her barrage as Metallo fell to his knees, his power cells drained under her onslaught.

'I'll get you foooorrrr tttthhhiiisssss…' Metallo slurred before falling to the ground, his power cells totally empty.

Platinum morphed her arms back to normal.

'Well, that was easy.' Platinum sniffed as she dusted off her hands and sat on the defeated villain. 'Just wait until Superman hears the news.'

'Greta googly-moogly on a stick!' Plastic Man yelped as he ran up with Red Tornado, having taken the civilians to safety. 'What did you do to the guy, Tina?'

'I showed him I wasn't just a pretty face, Plas.' Platinum smiled as she admired her nails.

'Metallo will not stay down for long.' Red Tornado explained. 'It will only take a moment for his Kryptonite power cells to recharge.'

'D'you think a bit of open heart surgery is n order?' Plas asked as he morphed into a surgeon, complete with mask. 'But I'd like to warn all of you, I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV.'

Red Tornado just shook his head as he popped open Metallo's chest cavity and removed the Kryptonite within.

'Plastic Man, take the Kryptonite to STAR Labs.' Red Tornado ordered. 'Platinum and I will clean up here.'

'But I don't wanna…' Plas whined.

'Plas…' Platinum narrowed her eyes.

Plas backed away at his teammate's 'angry face' and did as he was told.

Platinum ad red Tornado watched as Plas changed into a sports car and zoomed off in the direction of STAR Labs.

'You just wanted to get rid of him, didn't you?' Platinum surmised.

'Perhaps…' Red Tornado replied.

'So, what do you wanna do now?' Platinum asked.

'I hear Metropolis has some great restaurants.' Red Tornado replied.

'Why ever would a robot want to go to a restaurant for?' Platinum blinked.

'Perhaps I should ask the same thing of you, Platinum.' Red Tornado responded.

Platinum just shook her head and linked her arm with his with a smile.

'This is gonna be the start of a great relationship…'

TBC…

Next: Poker with the Lanterns

A whole host of Green Lanterns guest star as John Stewart and Shayera hold a poker night in the Watchtower. Featuring: Killowog, Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardner, Katma Tui and the greatest Lantern of all… Hal Jordan!