The war commences, the enemy awaits
In quivering expectancy.
The poor defences, the penetrable gates,
How terrible to be a woman.
- 'Bang!' by Stephen Sondheim
Stepping through the large, stone arch and hard, thick wooden doors sent a shiver down his spine whilst the hairs on the back of his neck stood to attention. He was back at Hogwarts. A new school year was beginning. His last.
Lily filed into the Great Hall with James on one side and Remus on the other. Following behind them closely were Sirius and Peter, arguing, as usual.
"It'll be Prongs. For sure." Sirius said loudly.
Peter scoffed. "How could it not be Moony? Professor McGonagall has basically been gearing him towards it the past seven years!"
"Moony's too much of a bookworm." Sirius quipped. Remus continued walking and said nothing, whilst Lily rolled her eyes. Sirius quickly poked Remus in the back, making him squirm.
"Oh come on – I'm only joking! Maybe it will be you!"
Remus smiled distantly and glanced sideways at James. "Unlikely."
James stretched his arms out in front of him and smiled lazily at Lily. "Yeah, well, what can I say? The idea of adjourning, private quarters for Lily and I was too attractive a prospect for me not to buck up."
"Don't get your hopes up. I don't see how they could give me head girl after all the detentions I've had." Lily replied.
"You've had one!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Four." Lily corrected him. She conveniently omitted the 'with Snape' part of the sentence.
"What for?" James asked, watching her.
"Missing lessons. Mostly."
"Alone? What could you possibly have been doing-" Peter began, stupidly.
"Not alone." Lily said, a little too hastily, and was thankful to have reached the Gryffindor table, to avoid having to explain further.
Lily had blocked Snape out of mind since their brief meeting two days ago, the second last night of Summer. He had held her like he had needed her. It had been such a relief to be with him again – their silence since 'mudblood' finally ended. It was with a slight absurd embarrassment that she recalled the intimacy they had shared – now, back in Hogwarts, at school – it seemed too complicated, too adult. She deeply regretted allowing Snape back in – she had a boyfriend – James.
'Boyfriend'. She almost smiled, as she surveyed the students watching Dumbledore's welcome – at how ridiculous; how youthful and meaningless that seemed in comparison to –
Eye contact is a startling thing.
There he was, staring right into her from across the hall. She stared back, at first shocked, then challenging.
They were separated by the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, but she was at least looking at him. As far as Snape could process what was happening – this struck him as an improvement. She hadn't so much as looked in his direction the last year and half. She looked radiant. Just as alluring as she had been two days before – when Snape's desire to be near her had broken his willpower into obsidian shards.
A million currents seemed to pass between them. Snape couldn't hear Dumbledore speaking – instead, he felt contained in a sort of muted bubble. All he could see was her. He imagined what her breathing sounded like.
She looked shocked.
Soon, though, Snape's eyebrow twitched in a questioning sort of way, and Lily's green eyes began to glint almost mischievously. Nothing in her face changed, but Snape had known Lily's eyes so well that he could detect their slightest change in tone, colour or emotion.
It was Snape's turn to be shocked. Lily being mischevious – the most natural thing in the world since he was but ten and she nine – but now, unfamiliar due to their separation. His heart stopped beating for a moment as he raised an eyebrow fully, testing the waters, unsure if it was forgiveness she was offering. Friendship, even.
Don't get your hopes up.
Oh how Lily missed him so. She had forgotten how he could make her feel so much with the slightest expression or gesture. The corner of her mouth raised slightly and she tried not to smile, even though her body wanted to, desperately.
Snape grinned. This was so unusual that Mulciber actually noticed and looked over at him, worriedly. Snape saw him and swallowed his happiness, forcing himself to look towards the head table, where Dumbledore was rambling on about the Forbidden Forest.
He left a few seconds before daring to look back in Lily's direction. She was staring his way, her chin cupped in her hand, and a lop-sided smile on her face.
Beautiful, Snape thought, before he caught sight of Potter's hand, holding her free one, on top of the table.
He felt sick. He looked back at Lily, and saw her eyes relent for a second, as if to apologize. Suddenly the impasse was broken as the Great Hall erupted into cheers.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" James roared, standing.
Lily almost fell off the bench in shock. About six hands immediately patted her on the back. She fell forwards over the table slightly, only to be pulled back upright by James. He kissed her unceremoniously, missing her mouth slightly, though sufficiently making her mouth 'area' wet with saliva, whilst a few gasps, laughs and cheers erupted around the Gryffindor table.
"Both head girl and boy in Gryffindor." Regulus Black spat from next to Snape, "It shouldn't be allowed."
"And whilst celebrations will undoubtedly and deservedly take place this evening, Mr. Potter-" Dumbledore chuckled slightly, but upon seeing McGonagall's pursed lips and horrified expression, straightened and added quickly "- one would be wise to follow the school's policy in that such un-restrained displays of affection are sadly, not prohibited."
James shouted loudly "Sorry!", whilst shaking hands with about ten people, and before giving Sirius the thumbs up.
Remus looked at Lily, who was only just realising what had happened.
"Congratulations." He smiled genuinely, and Lily muttered a thank-you, now slightly annoyed that she had been kissed – messily – in front of the entire school.
James finally sat down, having taken a bow. People began to tuck into the delicious and plentiful food that had just appeared. James took it upon himself to pour Lily a glass of lemonade.
"Darling!" He said, handing it to her.
He took his own glass, and raised a toast. "To us!" He exclaimed, and despite herself – despite everything, Lily smiled at his enthusiasm and happiness.
She was head girl.
When she had the first opportunity, she looked to find Snape, an apologetic expression creeping onto her face.
He was buried in conversation at the Slytherin table. His head was bowed slightly, his black hair covered his face, his knuckles were white as his hands clasped each other uncomfortably on the table.