If Only You Could See What I See

by FrogsRcool

I wanted to follow her. So bad. She was the most interesting person I'd ever seen in my entire life and I didn't even know why. Brittana

14. Flowers

a/n : the amount of reviews I have received is unbelievable. Thank you soo soooo sooooooo much. :) I love reading them, it's my favorite part of writing this story. Some of the reviews are so detailed and some of them are 'spot-on' while others are so far away from what I intend to reveal. ;) Enjoy this chapter. And thank you Stephanie again! Oh and here's the links for some of the songs, just type in 'youtube' before the dot.

.com/watch?v=pkVfANH5Zrc

.com/watch?v=rbgD8l6E-Bs

Chapter 14 : Flowers

"Is your dad home?"

"I think so."

"Is anyone else here?"

"Yeah. My mom should be. She's probably asleep."

"So then I shouldn't ring the doorbell?"

"No way Jose."

"But you don't have keys, right? Maybe we could sneak through your window. Or can we just knock?"

"Oh, it's not locked."

"Then why are we standing here?" Santana pinched her eyebrows together and then looked back at the doorknob. When she looked back at me, she grabbed my hand and linked her fingers between mine. "If anything happens I'll cause a diversion and you run to your room and grab all your extra underwear."

"Like a panty snatcher." I smiled super big, but it was because she was holding my hand. I squeezed almost as tight as I could. Our hands felt so tiny like this. I was used to big boy hands and I liked holding her hand better. "How are you going to distract them?" I was still smiling and even started to swing our hands back and forth.

Back, and forth, and back, and forth. I was stalling, because I wanted to stand here all day and hold her hand.

"I'll flash the girls." She shrugged and looked down at her boobs. "Just give me the signal."

"Good idea." I nodded with approval. She was teasing, but I was pretty sure that would definitely be a good distraction. "Maybe..." Maybe, because then I would get distracted too and forget to get my clothes.

She reached her hand up for the doorknob and kept her eyes on me. She didn't turn the knob until I nodded that it was okay.

But all that waiting was for nothing. Nobody was in the house. I kind of figured that was what would happen. That thought hadn't kept me from telling Santana three times in the car that maybe I should just buy new underwear. They weren't that expensive, especially if I bought the three for fifteen dollar ones at the store. She said that we would be quick and that if I got to the front door and really really really didn't want to go in then we could try again later.

I wasn't really sure what I was so nervous about in the first place. I hadn't even noticed I was silent in the car until Santana reached over and put her hand on my leg.

Every argument I have had with my mom ended up never being brought up again. We just pretended like it didn't happen. I think it was easier that way. I knew it was easier that way, because then I wouldn't say things I didn't mean and she wouldn't misunderstand me.

My sister's bedroom door was open and the living room was empty. I was kind of expecting it to be a little dirtier, but when my dad was home on the weekends he usually cleaned up. So the wine boxes were stacked by the wood stove and there was clean laundry folded on the kitchen table. My dad was probably out in the backyard. And I knew my mom was in her room, cause the door was closed.

I pulled Santana behind me and we went into my room. I didn't let go of the breath I was holding until we were in my room and the door was shut. I think she even held her breath too. It felt kind of weird to be sneaking into my own house. I felt like I was a robber. I bet this was how Lord Tubbington felt when he snuck in my room to try and steal things when I was at work. He was only allowed in here if I was home, because I always left empty cereal bowls on my dresser and he always knocked them over.

I dropped Santana's hand and went straight for my underwear drawer. Santana had let me borrow one of her duffle bags, so I started to pull out some stuff I might need. Clean underwear, bras, socks, and a few tank tops.

It wasn't until I was fumbling through my dresser and wasn't squeezing Santana's hand that I realized I was shaking. I think it was mostly adrenaline. I just didn't want my mom to walk in, because then it would be awkward, because I wasn't sure if she had remembered Santana yet and I didn't want to double introduce them. I especially didn't want to double introduce them right after I had insulted my mom about my friend Santana and her super big house.

"Don't forget your outfit for tonight." Santana walked toward my closet and started running her hand through my clothes. "Is it in here?" She peeked over her shoulder to look at me.

"It's already at work." I said. I never kept my work outfits here, because I would just end up forgetting them. And I didn't want Hailey taking them. "What are you wearing?" I walked over to my closet and watched her flip through my clothes. I had a handful of underwear and socks. No bras though, because I think those were folded on the kitchen table.

"Just a black dress." She shrugged. "Something simple."

I crouched down and shoved the clothes I was holding into the duffle bag. Then I stood back up. "You're not dressing up like Cupid? That would have been cute. Or hot if you just wore Victoria Secret lingerie and wings. I was going to do that, because I'm pretty sure that's what most girls wear for their boyfriends on Valentine's Day. But I don't have a boyfriend. And it's not Valentine's Day. " I frowned. "All the other girls are doing the Cupid thing."

Her eyes dipped down my body before she answered. It made my heart flutter. "Yeah, well Valentine's Day is annoying. It's irritating to watch people dress up like they have money and then watch them buy the most expensive thing on our menu and then ask if their sweetheart can sample the most expensive wine. If I'm being forced to work with tacky paper heart decorations hanging from the roof and serve alcohol and food to pathetic people who think they're in love, then there's no way in hell I'm going to dress up like Cupid. The last thing I want to do is encourage that kind of behavior."

"But this is an opposite Valentine's Day."

Santana shook her head and pulled out one of my shirts. She held it up to look at it. "I like this." And then she looked back at me. "And that's the whole thing about it. It's supposed to be for single couples, but real couples come and the girls always sing crappy love songs. It's depressing to watch them wish they were in love. "

"Love songs are nice." I was frowning. I liked Valentine's Day. Mostly I just liked the chocolate, but I thought it was an awesome idea to have this themed night. The whole point of it was to show everyone that being single was only for a little, and then you would find someone. And it didn't have to be a lover. It could be a friend or family or someone who was also single and lonely and then you could become friends and take Cosmo quizzes together to find out what kind of guys you liked. Valentine's Day was like a sneaky Thanksgiving, except everyone substitutes chocolate for the turkey. It brings people together and I just think that people didn't realize that.

"Nice for couples. Not nice when I have to walk around and watch them grope each other and mate in front of me. Maybe if it were like our other busy nights then I would be okay. But it's not. Everyone comes dressed up, with a date, and they order the most expensive things on the menu. And they sit at tables and watch us sing."

"What are you singing?" I grabbed the shirt she was holding up and put it in the bag. I will just have to find a way to show Santana that Valentine's Day wasn't bad.

I could get her those candy chalk hearts, but they don't sell them during the summer. But if they did I would leave little candies around work for her to find. In her till, or on her serving trays, or in her purse. I would have to buy a whole bunch of boxes because I would only use the hearts that said Ask Me, because even though she told me that I could ask her questions with that song, I wanted her to know that she could ask me questions too. Maybe I would leave some that said Sweet Pea. Or Angel. I think those were words that Santana needed to hear more of, because I think she has started to believe what people say about her and that was also kind of why she had such big walls.

"Nothing. I sang my song last night." She stole another glance at me with the corner of her eye and lifted the corner of her mouth into a little smile.

I didn't hide my smile though.

"So," I walked back and waited for her to pull out some more clothes, "it's not super crazy busy? Like we're not going to be stuck behind the bar?"

"No." She handed me some more shirts from my closet. "It's fancy. We actually get to waitress. But it is busy. Will sets up more tables. And there are people who will literally wait hours for a table."

"Cool." I held my arms out as she slung shirts and skirts and pants over them. This was going to be fun. "How come you don't like Valentine's day?"

"Do you like it?" She snapped her eyes to me with an eyebrow cocked.

"It's okay. I like getting chocolate." I twisted and twirled on the balls of my feet. "Even though my dad is the one who usually gives it to me. I've never dated someone on Valentine's Day."

"Me either." She crouched down to pick up the bag of clothes and held it open for me.

I stuffed the clothes into the bag.

"Maybe you'll like it this time?" The words had come out. I didn't really mean to say them, because even though I was completely fine with saying anything or doing anything in front of Santana, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I knew this thing with us was kind of iffy. Like, I think we both knew what we wanted, we just didn't know how to go about it or how to make it feel normal or look normal.

Actually…I didn't want this thing with us to be normal. I wanted it to be unique.

"Like what?" She laughed a little. "Valentine's Day? Cheesy flowers aren't my thing." And she rolled her eyes while she laughed. "But maybe it won't be as bad as it usually is. Maybe."

That last bit kind of shocked me. Especially since she had been rolling her eyes. But it made my eyes light up and I had to clench my teeth to keep my excitement under control.

"Should we find your dad?" Santana set the bag of clothes on the floor and started to zip it up for me.

"Sure." I grabbed the bag from her and opened my door.

She followed me back past the front door, through the living room, and then I set my bag on the kitchen table. It smelled like coffee and burnt toast out here. Our toaster always burned stuff.

I looked through the back window. My dad was out in the backyard pulling weeds out of our little garden. I wonder if he dug far enough down if he would find the notes I hid there for Hailey when we were little. I tried looking for them once, but then there were too many bugs.

I slid the glass door open and stepped out first. Santana followed me and I closed it behind us. Lord Tubbington meowed and then ran across the patio to our feet.

I squatted down and held my hands out for him to run into. I hadn't seen him in so long. At least he hadn't forgotten me. He was so whipped. He makes such a big deal about me falling to sleep and having to cuddle with him, half the time I have to bribe him to come into my room, but here he was running to me.

"Looks like your family didn't forget to feed him while you were gone." Santana teased.

I hefted him up in my arms and stood up. I spun to face Santana with him clutched to my chest. "He just likes food."

"I can see that." Santana laughed, but didn't reach out to pet him.

I stepped toward her. "He's nice though. He doesn't really move much, but he likes to be petted under his chin."

She tucked her lips into her mouth and it made her dimples deepen. And then she hesitantly lifted a hand and used one finger to scratch under his chin. He instantly closed his eyes and purred.

"He likes you." I set him down when Santana stopped petting, because he was starting to make my arms tired. "He won't even come near me when Rachel is here. But I think that's because we used to play hide and seek with him when we were little and she hid him in the fridge." Lord Tubbington stood there next to us for a second, and then he lay down. I swatted at my shirt to get the fur off and then I turned to look for my dad. He waved and stood up from pulling weeds.

Santana and me walked across the grass towards him.

"I thought I saw your car out front." He spoke to Santana.

I looked over to see Santana nod. "Yup. It is. Did you get her bike fixed yet?"

I skipped the last step. I was glad that Santana had remembered to ask about my bike, because I had completely forgotten about it.

"Almost. Maybe next weekend." He pulled gloves off of his hand and dropped them to the ground. "What are you girls doing today?"

"We work." I answered. "We just stopped by to grab some clothes." I folded my hands behind my back, because I wanted to reach out and grab Santana's. Standing here in front of my dad was kind of like standing in front of the front door. I wasn't sure why I was so anxious and I really didn't have a reason to be, because I knew nothing bad was going to happen. I just felt kind of tense. Like something was missing or I was missing something.

But I wasn't missing something. And then it felt like my entire body sunk. I knew why I was fidgety and jumpy and why my throat felt like it was half full. I knew my dad wasn't a different person. He was the same person he was before I had cried about him leaving.

What if he left today? He wouldn't. I knew that. But it felt like I knew so much more now. And I felt stupid for not even feeling this before.

The worst part was that now I couldn't figure out what was good or what was bad. Was it good or bad that he left…that he came back…Was he the good guy or was my mom the good guy? They were both good guys I think.

My dad's expression didn't change. He was still grinning. "Clothes for work?"

I knew I was spacing out and both Santana and my dad were looking at me. But I couldn't make myself talk when I was overloading with thoughts.

"Nope." Santana answered and then looked back at my dad. "We're having a sleepover at my house."

"That sounds fun." He nodded. "You're keeping out of trouble right? No boys?"

"No boys." Santana repeated, and I couldn't help a feeling that filled my chest and made me feel lighter. Kind of like she had lifted just one confused and lost weight off my shoulders. These thoughts and memories and emotions weren't me. I didn't think. I just did.

"I stayed with Santana." I finally spoke. I didn't want them to worry and think something was wrong.

"Well as long as you're not intruding. And remember to come home once in a while. You know your mom and sister probably miss you."

"Okay." I answered. I wasn't sure if he knew about the argument, and I think my mom was still mad at me. She never called to ask if I could bring home champagne or cigarettes. But I didn't want to tell him about it, because my mom would have told him if she had wanted to. And I didn't want to make her more upset.

I hoped it was okay that I had told Santana. I didn't say anything bad, so I was pretty sure it was fine. I just told her what I had said wrong.

"We need to get to work." Santana spoke. "We're going to be late." She put her hand on my shoulder, but only for a second. Her touch snapped my attention back to our conversation.

"Well, be good." My dad said. "I don't want to have to pick you up from the police station again."

Santana's eyes snapped back to me and when I looked at her she was completely stunned. Her face was scrunch and her mouth had dropped open a little. I think she was just confused.

It made me giggle. "He's kidding." I nudged her with my elbow. "Bye Dad." I said and turned back to the house with Santana.

He laughed and said bye

We walked through the back yard and I opened the sliding glass door for her again. She picked up the duffle bag from the table, reminded me to grab my phone charger from my room, and after I grabbed it we left. She didn't say anything until we were back in her car and she was pulling away from my house.

"I'm not sure if I like that cat."

I smiled and looked over at her. She was smiling and I knew she was just teasing me.

I pressed my forehead against the window, because it was still kind of hot from all the thoughts that had been buzzing in my brain. Santana reached over and put her hand on my leg again and it made me completely forget about those thoughts.

Xxx

"You can't wear that." Rachel shook her head and refused to look at me.

I glanced down at my outfit. It sure seemed like I could wear it. And it was cute. A little red and white pinstriped nurse outfit complete with matching hat. And I even had bought black tights to go along with it so Rachel wouldn't get mad that I was showing too much leg. "But I like it."

"You know the theme of the night right?" She forced herself to finally look back at me.

"Yes."

"And you know it's not nurse themed?" She lifted an eyebrow, huffed, and then crossed her arms.

I balled up the bottom of the skirt into my fists, pinched my lips, and shrugged.

"Brittany. You need to change. You look ridiculous."

I didn't look ridiculous. I knew that.

"Oh, hey!" Quinn walked out from the back and up to the bar. I had been standing behind the bar for the past ten minutes trying to convince Rachel that I could wear a nurse's outfit tonight and that Will and Holly already said I could. "You look adorable." Quinn reached out and ran a few of my curls through her fingers. When Santana and me got to work she helped curl my hair in the bathroom so I didn't burn myself.

"See." I looked back at Rachel. "Quinn doesn't think I look ridiculous."

Rachel wasn't even looking at me anymore. She was back to organizing the already organized bottles of alcohol underneath the bar.

"And Santana said I looked good."

Quinn pulled her fingers away from my hair and stepped up to the bar so she was leaning against it. "Where is Santana?" She scanned the floor. Mercedes was on stage with Tina and Will. We opened for the evening service in a little less than an hour.

It was kind of cool to be closed at three in the afternoon. Usually when we opened we were open all day and we didn't really get much of a break. But now we got to relax for a few hours and we got to decorate the bar to look super romantic. I had set candles up on all the tables.

"She's changing." I answered.

"Still?" Quinn questioned. She wasn't accusing or being snotty, just being curious.

But I guess Santana had been in the back for a while, but that was because she was helping me. So that's what I told Quinn. I told her that Santana had helped curl my hair and helped me with my outfit and that was why she didn't get a chance to help decorate.

Rachel scoffed and then turned back to me. "I brought you an extra outfit. It's in my locker."

"Ewww." Quinn glared at Rachel.

Rachel didn't even respond to her she just kept talking to me. "I have a dress you could borrow and I have an extra set of wings. We could put a red ribbon in your hair." It almost looked like she was pleading with me.

I almost said okay. I guess it wasn't that big of a deal that I changed. I'm sure the nurse outfit could be used some other time. But then Quinn spoke up before I could decide if I wanted to give in.

"Please don't offer her your leftovers. It's bad enough I have to look at you and your first choice of clothing for the entire night, but there is no way Brittany is wearing your second choice outfit. She looks good."

I look good. I smiled. I had to look good if both Santana and Quinn thought so.

"Fine." Rachel huffed again, turned and marched away. She headed towards the stage and towards Will.

I was about to tell Quinn she looked good, because she did. She had a red dress on. But then Santana walked out from the back.

I swear it looked like she was walking on clouds. I couldn't even breathe anymore. Everything about the dress she was wearing, the way she had her hair up, her makeup, and her dimples because I think she was trying to hide a smile, was gorgeous. I have never used the word gorgeous to describe anyone, just flowers. She was so pretty and more gorgeous than a flower. How could one person be so perfect?

"Wow." Tina spoke and Quinn and I spun around as Tina took a seat on one of the stools on the other side of the bar. "Where did you get that dress?"

I glanced back at Santana and started to slide my eyes down her body. I couldn't pull them away. I was pretty sure she was the person who would make magnets work, if that was how magnets were made.

Her eyes slipped to me, before she walked up to the bar and rested her elbows against it. She shook her head indifferently. "The internet. I've had it for a while." There she goes again not believing compliments and not taking them seriously.

Quinn patted my hand. "Want to help me pick a song?"

I perked up at that thought. I didn't usually get asked. "Okay."

"Let's go up to the stage. Will is waving me over." She pointed to Will and he was looking toward us girls.

I wanted to tell Santana she looked pretty. But I didn't want to make it too obvious, because she was blushing, fiddling with her fingers and I think that was because I kept staring at her. I didn't want Tina or Quinn to notice.

Quinn left and headed toward the stage and really didn't give me much time to figure out what I should do. So I just walked behind Santana, poked her in the back, and smiled at her as I walked away. She smiled too and then went back to talking to Tina. When I glanced back after getting halfway to the stage she jerked her eyes away from me and back to Mercedes who had just walked up. I hope she knew that people could see that kind of stuff, but I was glad that I wasn't the only one staring.

"So," Quinn said as we climbed the stairs up to the stage. "Any suggestions?"

We walked to the piano and both took a seat on the bench. She reached for a binder full of sheet music and opened it to a middle page.

"You should sing something fun." I said. I really didn't know what song, because Santana had already sung my current favorite song. Or maybe now The Scientist was my favorite. Either way, Santana already sang them both.

"Fun?" Quinn continued to flip through the pages. "Like what?"

I watched the titles of the songs pass by as she flipped. None of them caught my attention. And then one did. I tensed and pointed a finger at the page before she could flip it. "That one!" I shouted.

"What? Really?" Quinn eyed the page and then looked to me. "I'm not sure if I want to sing something that upbeat. This night is supposed to be romantic."

"Oh." I dropped my shoulders. I guess Teenage Dream wasn't exactly a romantic song that people wanted to listen to while they ate their fancy dinners. Well, not normal people. I would listen to it.

"What if…" Quinn hummed. "What if I get the guitarist to slow it down and I do an acoustic version of it?"

"Ooo!" My body shot back up. "Yeah fun!"

"Fun?" She laughed. "So this song then? Are you sure?"

"Yeah it's perfect." I watched as she was running her finger over the lyrics. "They say the word Valentine." I spoke as her finger slid over the page and that specific word. "And it talks about being pretty without makeup and hearts stopping when people look. It's perfect."

Quinn nodded and didn't respond. She just kept looking over the lyrics.

xxXXXX

I didn't get a chance to talk to Santana until after Quinn had sung her song. She did really good. And I was relieved because I was the one who had picked it. Lots of people clapped for her and now she was still up on stage talking to Holly. And all the customers were back to their fancy dinners.

I had gotten so many compliments on my outfit. And as if on repeat, each time someone asked me why I was dressed as a nurse I said, because I'm fixing broken hearts. I even overheard Santana say that to a customer when I walked by. And I was so glad that Will didn't make me change, because everyone liked my outfit.

I walked up to the bar where Santana was getting beer out of the tap. I think it was for Finn and Puck, because they were the only ones drinking beer. They had shown up and had been sitting at the opposite side of the bar all night. Puck kept asking me if I wanted to play doctor later and saying that he was sick. Santana threatened him and told him that he better not say anything else. She also mumbled something at him that I couldn't hear. He hadn't said anything since...

All night my eyes had been glued to Santana and how pretty she was. And I kept thinking about what had happened this morning in her bed and kept thinking about what she had done to me in her bathroom. Each time I got a flash of it in my mind, I would get a sharp knot in my downstairs.

I wanted to talk about it. And I had been wanting to talk about it all night. I needed to finish that conversation we had been having before her cousin walked in the room. It was like a gnawing and growing urge and if I didn't ask her about it right now then I was going to blow up.

She looked up at me.

God she was gorgeous.

"Britt?" She cocked her head and started to fill a second glass with beer. "Did you need something?"

I nodded my head. I wondered how long I had been staring. "Yes."

"Hold on." She took both beers over to Puck and Finn and then walked back to me.

I climbed on the stool and folded my hands. "Can we talk about the secret." I whispered the last word.

I could see a lump start in her throat. She took a second to answer. But she nodded yes. "Is something wrong?" She spoke with her voice a bit lower, but not quite a whisper. I guess I hadn't needed to whisper secret if all the customers were talking loud and nobody was really listening to us.

"No. Nothing's wrong." I said and she seemed to relax. "I just wanted to ask you another question, because I keep thinking about it."

"Thinking about what?" She grabbed a towel and started to fold it into a triangle. I watched her for a little as she folded it, unfolded it, and then folded it into a different pattern.

"You shouldn't be behind the bar with such a pretty dress." I looked at the taps and saw the beer dripping. The realization hit me quickly. What if she got her dress dirty? What if she had to wear Rachel's second choice clothes? My eyes widened at the thought. That would be interesting.

"That's what you've been thinking about all day?" She relaxed even further.

"No. I just thought of that now."

"I'll be careful." She assured me.

I carefully picked my words. I wanted to ask the exact right question. "…Can I do things to you next time?"

Santana quickly twisted and snapped her attention to the boys at the other end of the bar. They weren't even looking at us. She looked back to me and looked completely timid.

I got that Santana was nervous about me doing stuff to her. I knew that. Her exact words had been, I can't pretend with you. She just wasn't used to having someone on her side of the wall. She was used to having sex with guys where they were on the other side of the wall and where they couldn't see her.

But I wasn't on the other side of the wall. I had busted through her wall without warning and without explanation. Or maybe I had walked through an invisible door in her wall that she kept open for me. I wasn't exactly sure which one of us was responsible for how close we had become. Both I think. Maybe I had just busted through an invisible open door.

"I'm not… I..." The muscles in her face tensed. "I want you to. Someday. I just."

"So, I have a plan." I interrupted her. She didn't need to choose a day or explain anything, because I already knew.

"And what's that?" She was still talking super quiet and hesitant and I think her hands were full of nerves because she couldn't stop fiddling with the towel.

"I want to have a special lady night. With you. And me. Again. And this time we'll rev your engine. But I have this all planned out. I've like, been planning it all day." I swallowed the frog in my throat because now I was getting nervous and anxious. I wanted her to like this plan as much as I liked it. "But," I held up my finger, "we won't plan a day. And you can pick the day."

I set my hand back on the bar. "First of all, we'll do it in bed because as awesome as the bathroom was, I want you to have your own special first time place and I think either your bed or my bed is perfect. Every sweet girl should have their first time in a bed." That was how I had seen it in movies and how I had always imagined it even if it was a cliché. But I liked things that were like that and I think Santana did too.

"My first time was in the back of a truck." Santana leaned forward and rested her elbows on the bar. It made me smile, because even though she was trying to use her words to push off the topic, she was leaning towards me. She could say whatever she wanted, but I knew her body would do what she really wanted.

"Your first time with me silly." I inched just a little more towards her, but not enough to fall off my stool. "And no interrupting. You haven't even heard the whole plan yet."

"Okay, fine. What's the plan?" She pinches her lips and kept back a smile. She was slowly unwinding and I now more than ever knew she wanted to do this with me. I wasn't sure how much time she needed, but I would give her whatever she wanted and whatever she needed. And I knew she both wanted and needed someone to give her this. I was so lucky that it could be me.

"We don't have to do it exactly like I say, it's more of an outline. Or one of those graphs that you fill in, in English class that has branches hanging from it. But anyway, we'll be in your bed."

"Or yours?" Santana reminded me.

"Or mine." I smiled. I so had her. "And we'll be in pajamas. Except I want you to wear a bra, so I can take it off of you."

She nodded and I think was internally making a checklist. Good. I wasn't sure if I could remember all of this. "Lights on or off?" she asked and raised an eyebrow. At first her question just seemed like her way of joining in the conversation and encouraging me, but it wasn't. She was dead serious.

"We'll turn them off. It makes it mysterious and makes it so I have to touch more to find where I am." I glanced down at her chest and then back up at her eyes. Not only that, but it was probably easier to shine a spotlight on her during this whole girl sex thing if the lights were off. That way she wouldn't be blinded from too much light.

"And what else?" She leaned in just a bit more and her body relaxed even more so. I was completely right about the spotlight thing. And I would turn off all the lights in the entire world if it meant that she could turn on hers just for a second.

"I haven't decided if I want to take my clothes off or not. I could, but I don't want you to get distracted." I scrunched my nose as I smiled.

"It might be easier for me if you did…"

Her response was so simple and probably the most honest thing I had ever heard her say. It made this playful conversation turn into something a little more serious than it had started.

This thing with her was serious.

I knew I was smiling. So big. I knew that how serious we were being was something I probably should have realized after what she had done to me in the bathroom, or after that night in her room when we listened to Gravity, or maybe even this morning when she told me some of those things and how she was with guys. And I guess I had always known it was serious because that was how I responded to her naturally. It was kind of like I was noticing something that had always been there.

"Britt?" She stood up and reached for a bar towel. "Why are you smiling?" She asked, but she was smiling too and almost laughing.

"Just thinking."

"Well, think aloud." She fiddled with the towel for a second and then leaned back towards me. "And finish your plan."

"Oh right." I straightened my back a little to stretch and then bent back towards her. I kind of wanted to reach for her hands and start playing with them again, but I knew that kind of thing was for private only. At least for now. "So we're in bed, lights off, I'm naked…" I narrowed my eyes as I tried to remember the next part. And I had to shift and clench my downstairs because thinking about this plan was kind of hot. "And then…we'll put music on. But it will be rock music." This part I had specifically planned. I knew exactly what song too, because I had heard it on the radio the other day. "And it will be loud. That way it's more of a background noise and you're not really listening to it and not listening to anything else that's going on except for when I get close to your ear and have to whisper something."

"Loud music?" She was amused and interested, because the look on her face told me that she actually thought this was a good idea.

"Yes loud. Not super loud so it hurts our ears. But whenever I listen to my iPod the music is always loud and it makes it so I'm in my own little world because nobody else knows what I can hear. I want it so we're in our own little world. Just you and me."

She looked at me like I had said the sweetest thing in the world. Her smile. Her eyes. The way she started to zone out and just kind of grin and was now resting her chin on her fist.

"But I haven't figured out the rest quite yet. I will though."

She was still just staring at me. So I kept talking, because I wanted her to keep smiling like that. "We should probably do it in your bed. Unless you want to do it in mine, which is fine. We'll just have to wait until super early in the morning when everyone has gone to sleep. That way my mom won't hear something, cause our house is kinda small. And my sister always texts me at night and tells me to turn my TV down. So maybe we should hang blankets on the walls or just make a soundproof tent on my bed."

She shook her head and a soft laugh came from her. "My bed is fine."

I got so excited. "So you'll do it?" I squeezed my fists and straightened my back again. "Really!"

She softly laughed again and was even blushing. "Shhh." She reached over the counter and grabbed my clenched fist, but pulled it back as soon as she had touched it. "Yes I'll do it."

"Sorry." I whispered, but none of the excitement was gone from my body. "I'm just super excited."

She playfully rolled her eyes at me and then walked to the back counter and grabbed a box. "Help me set these bottles out." She walked back and set the box on the bar. It was full of fancy wines and champagnes. "We're running low."

I stood up and started to pull out the bottles. I was careful because I didn't want to break them and get the wine everywhere. Then I would ruin both of our outfits and we would have to share Rachel's second choice outfit.

Quinn walked up to us and pulled out the last bottle. And then she reached over for the thing to uncork it.

Santana didn't look up at her, but I think that was because she hadn't noticed her. She had been scowling at her phone for the past few seconds and was now sending a text back and smashing her fingers against the buttons. "Fuck." She whispered.

I glanced back at her and was going to ask her what was wrong, until Quinn spoke. "So, I'm having a little party at my house after work since we're getting off early."

"I'll be right back." Santana said to me, then lifted her phone up to her ear and walked into the back. I watched her until the swinging door closed.

I looked back at Quinn. Had she said something about a party? "A party?"

"Yeah. You're coming." She began to uncork the wine.

"Okay." I nodded. "Is everyone coming? From here."

She shrugged. "I mentioned it to Tina and Mercedes. And the boys are coming." She pointed to Finn and Puck. "It's nothing big. Just a little get together."

"Sounds fun." My enthusiasm almost shot through the roof. And it would have if Santana hadn't gone into the back to talk on her phone. I didn't want something to be wrong. "All my stuff is in Santana's car." I started to tell Quinn and then I saw Mercedes with her arm linked through Sam's and she was leading him towards us.

My enthusiasm almost boiled over and I skipped over to him and hugged him. He hardly ever came out, but I had kept bugging him to stop by and told him I would give him a Cowboy's Cream if he did. I had to explain that it was a shot and promise I wouldn't call it that in front of him.

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. "Yay." I spoke into his chest.

He let go. "Love the outfit." He looked at me.

I spun around to look at Quinn. I knew she hadn't met him yet and I wanted her to meet him, because I loved it when all my friends knew each other. "This is Sam." I grabbed his arm and dragged him over to Quinn. "He's my friend." I let go of his arm. "And this is Quinn." I told Sam.

They shook hands.

Him and Mercedes started talking about something, but I didn't know what because Santana walked out. She looked pissed. She walked straight to me and leaned back over the bar, so I hopped back on the stool and waited. Her body looked so tense, like it was about to snap.

"I need to drop Marcus and my aunt off at the airport." She spoke through her clenched teeth.

"Okay." I said.

"And you work tomorrow morning right?" She tried to relax her face, but it wasn't working.

I nodded.

"I'm not going to be back until around noon. Maybe Will would let you come in late tomorrow. So you can drive with us. It's like a four hour drive. And my mother fucking works so she can't. I totally forgot about it. Or you can stay at my house. My mom won't mind. And I'll drive my aunt's car so you can just take my car to work."

"I-" I started to say that I could ask Will.

Then Quinn spoke. "She can stay the night at my house." Quinn took a seat on the stool next to me. "If you want Brittany?"

Santana's eyes snapped to Quinn. I couldn't decide if Santana was giving her a dirty look or a confused look.

"Yeah," Quinn continued. "I'm having a little get together after work. And I can drive you to work tomorrow?" She looked to me.

I looked to Santana. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to go with Santana, but I didn't mind staying with Quinn. Maybe it would be easier that way. But I kind of wanted to go on a road trip too.

Santana didn't answer, because I think she was looking to me for an answer. So I shrugged.

"So it's settled." Quinn stood up and grabbed the wine she had opened. "I need to take this to a table. But Brittany you can stay with me. It'll be fun."

"Okay." I said and smiled at her.

She walked off.

Santana looked to me, "Is it okay?"

"Yeah. I like Quinn." I looked back over my shoulder to find Quinn, but then I saw Sam talking to Mercedes and remembered he hadn't met Santana yet. I turned back to face her, "That's Sam." I whispered and pointed at him.

"Hm." She cocked an eyebrow.

"He's one of my closest friends." I explained. "One time he let me stay at his house when we were little when my mom and dad were fighting. And he let Hailey stay over too even but he called her a pest because she kept following us. But that was because I told her to follow us so she didn't get lost." I looked back at Sam and waved for him to come over.

Both him and Mercedes walked over to us.

"Sam this is Santana." I looked back at Santana. I was beaming, because this was awesome.

"Hey." Sam smiled.

Santana just nodded hello.

"You going to Quinn's tonight?" I asked Mercedes, and then looked to Sam. "You should go too!"

"Already told him about it." Mercedes winked, but only so I could see. I should just tell both of them that they have secret crushes.

We talked for a little and then Rachel spoke over the mic. She was singing another song tonight, I think it was the last song of the night. "Hello." She hushed through the mic. That was all she said, because Rachel said a lot, but not this time. I think she was nervous. Probably because I was wearing a nurse outfit. "This is Bound to You, originally sung by Christina Aguilera."

Or…I snapped my attention to Finn. I had totally forgotten about her crush on him. That made more sense as to why she was nervous.

The piano started and everyone stopped talking. Everyone always stopped talking when the girls sang, unless it was a crazy busy night and they couldn't stop cheering.

I leaned forward and tapped Sam's shoulder. "We should dance." I loved slow dancing and I hadn't gotten a chance to do it all night. But that was mostly because he was the only guy I would really have wanted to slow dance with. And we had a standing deal. Whenever he came in the bar, I would get him a few free beers, and he would dance with me.

But, right away I looked to Santana. I would have loved to dance with her. That would be a dream come true. But here and now wasn't our time. Not yet. But I wanted to make sure that she didn't think something of me and Sam dancing. She didn't though. She smiled at me so big. It was cute. She knew me and I was so glad that I didn't need to explain anything to her.

"Sweet love, sweet love, trapped in your love…" Rachel started to sing.

I turned and pushed him toward the stage. And when we finally got there I wrapped my arms around him and we started to dance. He was like a big brother to me. Someone I grew up with.

"…You're all I need, when I'm holding you tight..."

I pressed my mouth into his shoulder and looked for Santana. She was standing next to Mercedes in front of the bar and watching me. She had that zoned out smile back on her face again. Kind of like she was blinking in slow motion and absolutely nothing could make her stop smiling. And it wasn't a big smile, but just big enough for me to see.

"…Can't you see that I'm bound in chains? I finally found my way."

This felt perfect. I squeezed Sam tighter. And even though he wasn't her, that was okay, because someday…

My eyes started to gloss and I knew I was looking through tears. But I wasn't going to cry because I was so happy and I think it was impossible for me to cry when I was this happy.

It takes an extraordinary person to be able to put the spotlight on other people, and Santana does it without even thinking or meaning too. She has her wall so tall and so big that I didn't think that there was even a way to get a spotlight on her without being on her side of it.

I was on her side.

"Who are you looking at?" Sam spoke. His voice startled me even though it was soft. I squeezed him tighter and he turned us a little and I wasn't able to see Santana anymore.

"My friend."

"I think I would be jealous of your friend if I knew I had even the tiniest chance with you." He said and he was smiling.

"You like Mercedes." I reminded him even if he was joking.

"That's true." He said. "Think I have a chance with her?"

I was still buried into his shoulder and thinking about Santana so I hadn't really heard his question.

"I'm strong and I'm sure, there's a fire in us."

"Who are you looking at?" His laugh shook his chest and shook me.

"Not looking anymore, just thinking about." I smiled.

"Okay, who are you thinking about?" He questioned.

"It's a secret. But I'll tell you one day." I answered.

He nodded.

"And yes you have a chance with her." I remembered his question.

We didn't talk the rest of the song. Which was good, because Santana was the only thing I could think about and I was afraid I would say her name, because sometimes I accidentally say things I'm thinking about when I mean to say other things.

The song ended and Sam walked me off the dance floor with his hand on my back.

"Can I ask you a weird question?" I whispered, because I knew this was a very weird question.

"Yes." He responded and slowed our pace as we started to walk back up to the bar.

"It has to do with sex." I mouthed the last word.

His eyes bugged, but quickly went back to normal because by now I think he was used to me and I doubt there was any question that would surprise him. "Sure…"

We were nearing the bar though, and I wanted this conversation to be private if I was going to finish planning me and Santana's plan. "I'll ask you later though."

He said okay and then we went up to the bar. I finished serving my last tables, helped clean up with the girls. It wasn't even midnight yet.

All the girls were out in the bar chatting and I had followed Santana in the back. She was going to change, because she told me that she didn't want to wear her fancy dress to Quinn's, especially if she was going to leave a few hours later and sit in a car for four hours so Marcus and her aunt wouldn't miss their early flight.

"I made you something earlier." I scurried to my purse when we got into our break room. I opened my locker and pulled out a paper flower.

I had picked it from a hanging streamer earlier. So I guess it really didn't count as something I made. "Well, I picked you something earlier." I pulled out the paper flower and walked back to her. "Here." I held the flower out for her.

She was slow to take it from my hands. I think she was confused. Or maybe even shocked. But she took it.

"It's a flower for Valentine's Day." I smiled. Maybe she wouldn't think it was a dumb flower, because it wasn't just paper. And then I glanced around the break room to make sure nobody had snuck in when we weren't looking. It was empty.

So I leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek.

Her face turned so red. And I even think the room got hotter because her face was so burning. It wasn't tomato red like my face got when I blushed, because she's darker, but it was still pretty red.

And then I spun on my heels and skipped out of the break room.