OTP 2gether 4ever

Chopper wanted to ask Nami about an unfamiliar word he found in a book, so he carefully marked his place with a square of paper and climbed down the ladder below decks.

Unfortunately, he never even made it past the bottom rung. Luffy and Zoro were swaying together in a hammock, engaged in naughty deeds.

Chopper raced back up the ladder. Maybe the storage room was safer.

But Robin was already there, putting the moves on Nami.

The kitchen was no better, as Sanji was by the table, doing unspeakable things to Usopp.

Chopper sighed and wandered back outside. He would just have to look up the word himself.

In fact, he became so engrossed in the dictionary - did 'k' come before 'l' or after it? - that he didn't notice the storm until it was almost on top of the ship. Chopper leapt to his hoofs in a shower of paper and pencils. Why hadn't Nami said something?! Come to think of it, where was everyone?

Chopper dashed back to the kitchen. He found Sanji leering suggestively at Zoro.

He ran to the cannon room.Ê Luffy and Usopp were giggling in the dark.

Chopper blushed, fled, and climbed up to the crow's nest, where Robin was doing unspeakable things to Nami.

"Nami!" Chopper gasped, averting his eyes. "There's a storm coming!"

"Not now, Chopper," Nami said. She waved him away. "Oooh, Robin, tell me again how pretty my eyes are."

Confused, dejected, and fearing for his life, Chopper slid down the mast and prepared for a nautical beating.

Somehow, and he was never quite sure how, the ship survived the storm and sailed on through calmer waters. To soothe his nerves, Chopper wandered around the ship in case Sanji turned up with an afternoon snack.

He wasn't in the tangering grove, where Luffy and Nami were sprawled under a shady tree.

Zoro and Usopp had somehow snuck into the girls' bedroom, where they were doing something athletic under the covers.

Finally, on the aft deck, Chopper found Robin doing something unspeakable to Sanji.

"Are we going to have snacks today?" the little reindeer asked.

"Only if Robin darling wishes it," Sanji managed to say.

Robin said nothing.

"I guess not today," Sanji concluded, and went back to performing lewd acts.

Chopper sighed and went to see if there were some biscuits left in the tin.

He wasn't sure who found them first, the Marines or the weevils. He had just dropped a biscuit on the kitchen floor in horror when the boom of far-off cannons sounded in the air." Chopper abandoned the cookie (and, he hoped, the weevil) and ran outside.

Three ships bearing the mark of the Marines on their sails could be seen in the distance. They were gaining by the minute. With a gulp, Chopper hurried to tell the others.

It was no use. Luffy was draped licentiously across Merry's figurehead. Zoro was flirting with his barbells. Nami and a tangerine tree were locked in a passionate embrace. Usopp whispered sweet nothings to the mast. Sanji was inviting his cigarette case back to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. And Robin was doing unspeakable things to the deck chair.

Sensing that he wasn't going to get sense out of his shipmates anytime soon, Chopper gave up and sat down to work on some Rumble Balls. He tried to chat up the mortar and pestle, but his heart wasn't in it.

As it happened, the Marine ships were too involved with their own romantic entanglements to bother with the Going Merry. The three warships breezed past their little Caravel, sending great waves splashing over the sides and leaving only the sound of heated accusations in their wake. Chopper, shaking salt water from his fur, felt it was his duty to tell everybody that the danger had passed.

Not that they cared, or had even noticed the threat in the first place. Luffy and Sanji had retired to the kitchen, where they were playing a game of "Chef and Dish-Boy." Zoro and Nami, in the bathroom, were just getting into a game of "Money Borrower and Debtor." And right out on the open deck, Robin was doing unspeakable things to Usopp.

Okay, thought Chopper as he watched the Archaeologist and the Sniper move under the starlight, now that's just weird.

Chopper sighed, for what had to be the tenth time that day. Sometimes, he really missed Drum Island. At least there had been some reindeer his own age.

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notes: Usopp/Robin is one pairing I haven't yet seen, though if someone pulled it off, it would be very interesting! And no, I'm not ready to transfer the crew to the Thousand Sunny. I - I fear change? (Please leave feedback!)