A/N: Thank you so much for all the awesome reviews! :]

I think I'll owe Caroline a written apology after this story lol No, but really, it's the last chapter she's being like this, I promise ;)

Disclaimer: TVD belongs to L.J. Smith & CW.

Chapter 14

"And now it will rain for who knows how long," the cashier observed with a wry smile, giving the receipt to Damon, who glanced out of the tall glass windows at the darkening sky, murky clouds quickly rolling over it. "Drive safely."

Damon smiled, grabbing the travel pillows, and for Elena a heart-shaped bookmark with a teddy bear trinket that had caught his attention.

Humidity hit him as soon as he exited the store. The air seemed to have changed over the course of a few minutes, and he frowned at what was going to be a very long drive in pouring rain. It was already raining, if only lightly.

Stefan and Caroline were standing next to the car, and he thought he had never felt that unaffected by people glaring daggers at him. There was the sound of Elena's voice in his head, the inerasable touch of her hands on his face, the irremovable memory of her lips on his. He thought he could withstand all the glares in the world, every disaster just by remembering that she loved him. In the back of his mind the words spoken in her voice was on constant repeat, like a song he couldn't stop listening to.

"Where is Elena?" Damon asked with what looked like an almost dreamy smile flickering across his face, and it made Caroline wonder a little. What if he was being genuine? What if he really loved Elena?

"We're waiting for her," Caroline said, forcing herself to imagine including Damon within the circle of people she had to worry about. It was very hard to imagine, but there was no way around it if Elena was being serious, and she was clearly head-over-heels serious, which wasn't the best kind of serious, but it was also an indispensable kind of serious. Caroline sighed. "She went to-" she started again, but was interrupted by a scream that made the three of them freeze in their spots. There were no other cars in close vicinity. People in the store and in the coffee shop didn't seem to hear anything, and Caroline wondered how all of those details even registered in her mind when all she could think about was the sound.

Damon dropped everything he was holding in his hands, and ran into the direction where the scream had come from.

The drizzle was turning into the rain, water splashing from under his boots as he ran in flashing movements, his heart still like a broken clock, and he couldn't afford to breathe.

It felt like one of those nightmares in which everything seemed real until the moment of awakening. Only that now they couldn't start awake, because they weren't dreaming.

There was a fraction of a second there, filled with relief, when he saw her, saw that she was breathing, her heartbeat loud in his ears when he focused on the sound. But then the relief was replaced by anguish and dolor emanating from her.

It was a numb, empty feeling that stretched itself over his chest like a cold, stone shield, as he discarded other possible scenarios and was left with the one in front of him. The sight was so surreal, so cruel, filled with the indifferent, nagging sound of the rain that seemed to silence and deafen all other sounds. But then she moaned and cried out, making the nightmare real, and the emptiness exploded into pain.

"Elena."

She was sitting on her feet, with her shoulders hunched down, hair obscuring her face. Rain was falling over her, and she looked like her own ghost, her own shadow.

Not very far from her, but far enough to suggest she had tried to run but tripped and couldn't find the strength to stand up again, lay another shadow – dark and motionless.

"Elena."

She cringed when Damon put his arms around her, and turned her head to look at him. Tears and raindrops were streaming down her face and her eyes were flooded with grief, with fear, with guilt. They were dark and colorless, but at the same time shining with what looked like an irremovable layer of tears. Rain washed most of the blood off her face, but when she grimaced, there were still traces of it in the corners of her mouth and on her teeth.

"I don't know-" she started in a broken whisper, her voice cracking at every syllable.

"I know," he cut her off, cradling her face in his hands, clenching his jaw so hard he thought it would break. But he couldn't grimace, couldn't scream, couldn't show her that he was crying with her. If he did, she'd think something terrible had happened. For a few moments he couldn't even understand the complete senselessness of the thought. Something terrible had happened. But it couldn't have happened. It wasn't supposed to happen.

He locked her in his embrace while his eyes were wandering around the dark surroundings. He had made himself believe- he had made her believe that it wouldn't have ever happened, that she wouldn't have ever had to go through this. She had been caught off guard because he had never prepared her for what suddenly seemed inevitable. He knew, he had always known it was inevitable, it seemed so clear now, but somehow he had never applied this inevitability to her. It shouldn't have happened to her, because he didn't want it to happen to her. His love should've protected her. She should've been safe from all darkness and sadness in the world because he loved her.

He felt her hands clench around the fabric of his shirt, the first movement he could feel while holding her stiff from dread form.

"Oh m-!" Caroline choked on the words, covering her mouth with her hands, tears welling up in her eyes when she stopped near them, staring at the scene in dismay.

Stefan shifted his eyes between the dark shape on the ground and Elena. "What's happened?"

Damon shot him a dark look over his shoulder.

Caroline looked around the back lot, checking if no one was watching them. Someone might have heard the scream, unless it hadn't been as loud as it had seemed to them. She quickly went to Elena, and bent down to her, trying to think of something to say but failing. "Elena..."

Elena didn't look like she had heard. She didn't even seem very aware of their presence, but then she suddenly spoke in a toneless, faltering voice, her words rendering everyone silent.

"He isn't moving."

Stefan and Caroline stared at her with terrified, stunned, sad eyes. Elena looked at Damon and he didn't dare dousing that faint, desperate flicker of hope in her eyes right away. Very slowly he got up and staggered toward the nearby shadow. Elena shuddered, the humid air feeling cold against her skin when she stopped feeling his arms around her. She breathed in, and breathed out, the sound of her own breathing filling her ears along with the sound of the falling rain. Her eyes slid across the ground until they rested on Damon's back, waiting for him to conjure up some other truth, a truth that wouldn't hurt.

Damon squatted down next to the body, and slowly turned it around. Empty eyes stared back at him and he gritted his teeth and glared at the man, as if anger could revive him, as if it mattered, as if the world was not crashing down because he failed he failed he failed he failed her.

"Where were you, Damon?"

She was crying now like she had cried then, only then it was just the world around her that was hell - and now the hell was inside her heart and inside her head.

"Is he dead?"

Her broken, dismayed, teary voice filled his ears, pierced through him like a blade. She was choking on the words, crying, and moaning under her breath, guessing the answer, knowing it all along.

"Is he dead?"

He didn't remember her sound like that. She sounded like a child, and her eyes were the eyes of a child even though she was sitting there with blood in her mouth and on her clothes.

"Damon, is he dead?"

For the first time the question sounded as if she really wanted to know, wanted to hear the answer.

But it was still the hardest thing he had ever done, that look over his shoulder that he had to give her, his heart breaking along with hers when he nodded imperceptibly.

Having the last shard of hope shattered, Elena covered her face with her hands, and curled up into a ball, her heart-wrenching sobs muffled by the rain. Damon stood up, his eyes meeting Stefan's horrified expression.

"Is that your definition of OK?" Stefan asked in a low, bitter voice, his face contorted in pain, as he looked at Damon with grim derision, and then shifted his eyes to Elena.

Caroline was trying to embrace her but she pushed her away.

Damon stared at them, old patterns creeping back into his consciousness, but before they settled in, before he began to think he might be the last person she wanted near, Elena looked at him, and he threw himself back toward her, gathered her into his arms, and staggered to his feet.

"Isn't it what you were supposed to help her with?" Stefan whispered resentfully, dismayed by what had happened, dismayed by Elena's suffering, by his own words, by her face buried into Damon's chest, by her being a vampire, by her hand finding anchor on Damon's shoulder.

"What do we do now?" Caroline whispered, her eyes flickering to the motionless body, to the horrifying gash on the man's neck, pieces of torn flesh laying scattered in the pool of blood and rain.

"Caroline, bring the car here," Damon said in the most composed voice he could muster.

She dragged her gaze away from the dead stranger, and then nodded wordlessly and flashed toward the gas station.

"What did you help her with?" Stefan continued, distraught, speaking out of helplessness and despair that Damon could hear in his voice, and which kept him from saying back anything at all. "What have you done to her?" Stefan whispered, his lips barely moving. He stood with his eyes fixed on the mutilated stranger. It was impossible to believe she could've done that. Elena couldn't have done that. He couldn't imagine she had done that. "She never wanted this. She never wanted to be a vampire."

Damon looked down at Elena, and she looked up at him. It took a moment for her eyes that were overflown with tears and obscured by strands of her damp hair sticking to her cheeks to focus on him. When they did, it struck him, like the most hurtful blow, that she blamed herself and only herself for what had happened, that she was drowning in the certainty of her guilt.

"Elena-"

"I should've died," she choked out, her voice shrill with tears.

"No," Damon whispered fervently. "No. Elena…" He pressed his lips to her cheek, sweet from the rain, bitter from tears. "We'll survive this. We will."

With a grinding noise Caroline stopped the car next to them, and Damon quickly ushered Elena into the backseat, while Stefan, after giving the motionless body a long look, got into the passenger's seat next to Caroline.

"We can't leave him," Elena whispered in a voice that was rough from crying, nigh unintelligible because of the tears. "We can't leave him like that." She looked feverish as she stared out of the car with a frantic look on her face. Her hands were shaking. "We have to… we have to…" she couldn't find the right words, didn't know what she wanted to say, didn't know any words at all.

Caroline looked at Stefan and then over her shoulder at Elena who was looking at Damon, her hand in his.

"We'll bury him in the woods," Damon said, Elena's hand slipping out of his when he started getting out of the car. "Open the trunk," he added, glancing at Caroline who stared at him, and moved her hand to the proper switch only a moment later, but before she did anything, Stefan caught her hand.

"Go," he said, and she blinked in confusion, her eyes flickering to Damon who was lifting the body from the ground a few feet away. She gave Stefan a questioning look, but he repeated. "Go."

He spoke the word for the second time in a louder voice, and it reached Elena's ears. For a moment all of her tangled, searing, disarranged thoughts stilled in her head, as she slightly straightened up with a grimace on her face that turned into a look of dismay when she was pushed against the seat by the pressure caused by Caroline starting the engine and driving off.

"What are you doing?" Elena yelped. "Stop!" She tossed herself to the door, and started opening it.

"Stop," Stefan echoed in a forlorn voice, taken aback by Elena's immediate reaction.

Caroline hit the brakes as hard as she could. "Could you all just please make up your minds?" Caroline whispered hysterically, opening the trunk and brushing the tears off her face with her hand, fighting sickening memories that suddenly came back to her, bringing back the dread of that night in the hospital when she had realized- She looked at Elena in the car mirror, feeling so sad that she must be feeling right now like she had been feeling then, regretting with all her heart that they hadn't managed to protect her from that.

Damon placed the body in the trunk, slammed it closed, and got back into the car. "Your car's got some serious ignition issues," he said with a twitch of his nose.

"Oh, shut it," Caroline said impatiently, starting the engine.

"She'd be better off without you here," Stefan said hollowly, looking straight ahead.

Damon's eyes flickered to him, but then Elena took Damon's hand in hers and his eyes darted back to her.

"No, I wouldn't," she whispered through her teeth, drawing a hasty breath, dried tears feeling like a mask on her face when she spoke. "And I want all of you to stop behaving as if you did it," she said, rendering everyone silent and still for a second. "You didn't do it. I did!" she blared, her voice breaking into a stifled moan.

Damon hastily pulled her to him, and wrapped his arms around her. "I didn't want to do it," Elena said in a faltering voice, clinging to him, squeezing her eyes shut as more tears began flowing down her cheeks.

"We know that, Elena," Caroline said quickly, endowing her voice with as much certainty and warmth as possible.

"It's not your fault." Stefan turned to look at her over his shoulder, but then he abruptly averted his eyes from the sight. It wasn't just the fact that Damon held her in his arms. It was the way in which she held onto him that made him feel like someone was pouring salt into an open wound.

"We know you didn't want to do it," Caroline said earnestly. "We-"

Damon grimaced. "Stop guilt-tripping her."

"What?" Caroline glanced at him in the mirror. "I'm not guilt-tripping her. I'm trying to make her feel better!"

Elena closed her eyes, hot tears burning her eyelids, and she wished she could at least only feel the physical pain. Or no pain at all, she thought dully, and the thought seemed strangely alien, strangely alluring.

"By telling her she did something wrong," Damon said with a frown.

Caroline snorted mirthlessly. "She did something wrong, Damon. We all did. We all do."

"She did what she had to do," Damon said through his teeth. "You can't apply right and wrong to that."

"Yes, I can," Caroline snapped.

"Caroline." Stefan looked to her and slightly shook his head.

Elena grimaced, wishing she could just stop seeing anything, hearing anything, feeling anything at all, at least for a moment.

Turn it off.

She bolted upright and Damon grasped her shoulders, looking at her worriedly. Caroline and Stefan shot her concerned looks. Elena blinked and grimaced, not sure what it was that she had just heard... thought... heard... She blinked a few times, and then slowly resumed her former position, placing her head on Damon's shoulder, and closing her eyes.

"We need to stop to bury..." Stefan glanced at Caroline who squinted, observing the side of the road with wary eyes, trying to find the right spot for them to park the car, but it was difficult to see anything through the torrents of rain and with the road being only poorly lit.

Elena's eyelids fluttered open, and she stared at Damon's shirt with unseeing eyes, memories coming back to her, cutting through her, burning her from the inside. Turn... it... off... She gritted her teeth, the words taking her breath away as she tried to forget them, to stop hearing them, unable to imagine why she was hearing them at all. She tried to think about something else, something brighter and warmer like kissing amidst the fog, dancing barefooted on rose petals. She felt like she was drifting to sleep, only half-aware of what was going on. She tried to focus on Damon's touch, on the way he stroked her hair, brushed his lips against her forehead every once in a while.

"We'll talk about this later, Elena. When we'll be alone," she heard his voice in her head, and nodded. A few more tears rolled down her cheek and then she closed her eyes. "I'll be with you when you wake up."

She squeezed his hand, trying to free herself of all thoughts and fall asleep, but the images kept coming back to her, hurting her, and she didn't think she'd ever be able to sleep again. Turn... it... off... She was pushing the thought away as if it wasn't a thought, but a physical object, like a knife, like a stone, it was both completely abstract and so real she was afraid it could stab her, it could crush her if only she stopped, for a fraction of a second, fighting against it. Turn it-

But then the thought was swept away along with all other thoughts, and suddenly she was at sea, water splashing over her as she was sitting in a small boat, watching the waves around her.

It felt so real - she couldn't understand how this could be happening. She looked at the blue sky above her, at the sun, the wind tugging softly on her hair. There was also music and she couldn't fathom where it was coming from. But then she noticing a pillow under her arm and understanding dawned on her. He gave her a dream. She smiled through the tears that were no longer in her eyes but somehow were still lingering somewhere deep inside her. Placing the pillow on the rim of the boat, she rested her cheek against it, and reached out with her hand to touch the crystal water surface. After a while her eyelids fluttered shut and she fell asleep.

Damon brushed the remnants of tears off Elena's face with his thumbs, rested his chin on top of her head and stared out of the window.

The rain was raging outside of the car when they stopped to bury the body, and when they drove along the dark roads in complete silence, all the way to Mystic Falls.

Caroline turned the engine and the lights off and for a moment just looked at her house in silence.

"I don't feel like explaining everything to Jeremy right now," she said quietly.

Stefan nodded slowly. "That's probably a good idea."

They sat in silence for a longer while, listening to the rain.

"Elena will go home when she feels like it," Caroline said, looking at Elena over her shoulder. She glanced at Damon who has also fallen asleep and she silently marveled at how similar they looked when they were sleeping.

Stefan got out of the car, walked around it, and opened the door, taking Elena into his arms. The movement woke Damon up and he staggered outside, shooting Stefan a grim look that he promptly ignored.

Caroline searched her purse for the key, but before she found it the door opened.

"Do you think I could've gone to sleep after such a message?" Liz asked, appearing in the doorway.

Caroline smiled sadly, entering the house, and asking Stefan to come in. He stepped inside with Elena and followed Caroline into the house. Damon tried to walk in as well, but the invisible barrier stopped him. He rolled his eyes.

Liz opened her mouth to invite him in, but Caroline cut her off. "Mom, don't."

Damon blinked. "You can't do that," he said in a low voice.

"Caroline?" Liz gave her a questioning look.

"Of course I can," Caroline said, marching back toward the door. "It's my house."

"Caroline-" Damon stared at her in disbelief bordering on panic that almost convinced her but she felt tired, and sad, and really thought it was at least partially all his fault.

"When Elena gets back to her house it will be up to her whom she wants to see. But right now, as her friend, I think she should get some rest, and don't be disturbed by anyone."

"You have no right to keep me away from her," he said through his teeth.

"Yes, I do. I'm protecting her. You had a chance to help her and you didn't, so now we'll try to help her."

"Here? Klaus can walk into this house whenever he wants to," Damon said, glaring at her.

"Then our houses have something in common," Caroline retorted, squinting.

"So why don't we take Elena to her house?" he tried, losing patience, losing hope Caroline would let him in, and the realization that he wouldn't be there when Elena woke up was suddenly the most terrifying thought in the world.

"Because you'll bother here there and I don't want you to bother her right now."

"I think you should all calm down and leave arguing for tomorrow," Liz broke into the discussion, looking between Damon and Caroline.

"I told Elena I'll be with her when she wakes up," Damon said in a strained voice, feeling as if he was saying something too personal for them to know, but not finding anything else equally convincing to say.

"Well," Caroline thrust up her chin. "Then maybe you shouldn't make promises you can't keep," she said and shut the door in his face.

Damon was sitting with his back against the tree, his eyes fixed on the dimly lit window above, the contours of the house little unclear in the torrents of rain that just wouldn't stop falling. He wished he could turn back time, not leave her side even for one minute. Then it wouldn't have happened. He couldn't understand how he had missed signs that it was going to happen. There must've been something in her eyes, in her voice. He should've noticed it, should've guessed.

The rain was falling over him from the sky, from the dark bows of the tree, droplets of rain rolling down his face like tears. His clothes were soaked through, the scent of the rain clinging to his skin like a mourning cloth.

"I brought you an umbrella."

Damon looked up. Liz extended her hand with an umbrella to him, but he shook his head, and shifted his gaze to the window again. "How's Elena?" he asked in a low voice.

"She's still sleeping. She was half-awake for a few moments when Caroline and I were helping her with a bath, but she fell asleep again as soon as we tucked her into bed." She watched him thoughtfully for a few seconds before adding. "I'll tell her you're here when she wakes up."

"Thank you," Damon said after a pause, his eyes fixed on the window above.

Liz sighed, and then walked back to the house. She walked across the living room, glancing at Stefan and Caroline who rolled her eyes at her meaningfully. After saying a goodnight to them, before going to her room, Liz went to check up on Elena, and to her surprise found her awake, sitting up in bed, and holding her head in her hands.

"Elena?" She called softly, walking toward her.

Elena looked up, her face as white as Caroline's night dress that she was wearing. She bit her lip, tears appearing in her eyes, brighter than the faint flickers of the nearby lamp. Liz' forehead wrinkled in a compassionate grimace and she sat on the edge of the bed, taking Elena's hands in hers.

"You never cried when you were little. Your mom always said that. She said she didn't know what sleepless nights meant until Jeremy was born."

Elena gave her a faint, rueful smile, blinking back the tears. "Maybe there is a certain amount of tears everyone has to cry, sooner or later," she said quietly, drawing a breath. "Where is Damon?"

"I'll call Bonnie tomorrow," Caroline said with a frown. "We need to decide what to do. She needs to tell us what she's doing." She glanced at Stefan who was staring at the carpet with unseeing eyes, his expression frozen in sadness and grief. Caroline wanted to say something reassuring, but her attention was diverted to a sudden apparition that ran across the room.

"Elena!" Caroline exclaimed in astonishment, jumping to her feet along with Stefan.

But Elena didn't look into their direction. She went straight to the front door, opened it, and ran barefooted outside and into the rain.

Damon didn't hear the door open, but he suddenly saw the light flooding into the darkness and then he saw her white silhouette. She stopped on the porch for a brief moment before rushing toward him.

He ran to her, and she fell into his arms, closed her eyes when he kissed her mouth, her eyelids, trailed kisses across her cheeks, and then dragged his lips back to hers, kissing her ardently.

It was raining, and there was no car they could take, so Damon cupped her face in his hands, and whispered something into her ear. Elena drew a sharp intake of breath, and nodded.

Stefan and Caroline stared in silence when a pair of crows sprung up from the ground, and disappeared into the night.