Chapters 11 - 14 added 07/15/2017
Quotes of the day: The Hills (my "favorite" Speidi moments)
Lauren: "You're not gonna go to school at all, Heidi?"
Heidi: "No because when I'm going to school for is to get the kinda job that I'd be getting cause it's like my dream job so I might as well take a chance. I'll probably be like the lowest totem pole in the food chain."
Lauren (repeating her slowly): "The lowest totem pole in the food chain?"
Lauren: "Go back to school, Heidi, go back to school. Like seriously right now, like get dressed. Let's go."
(Spencer telling Brody some story about horses)
Spencer: "…Just gonna feed me to the horses."
Brody: "Luckily they don't eat meat."
Spencer: "Horses?"
Brody (speaking slowly): "Horses eat hay, Spencer."
Spencer: "They don't eat any meat?"
Chapter 13. Yet Another Normal Afternoon.
Week 6.
Last week Nathan and I won a challenge. About time! So, naturally we decided to celebrate but the night didn't turn out quite the way I thought. I ran into Jason, an old friend of the family. Nathan started a fight with Jason and we were kicked out of the club. And at that point I was totally wasted, which I normally don't do, so we went home.
Nathan kept me company for almost two hours and cooked for me and I think he even carried me to my bed when I fell asleep. I'm not sure, there are some holes in my memory, to be honest. But he did totally take care of me and I trust him completely. In fact, I trust him so much that I'm starting to consider telling him. Maybe, we'll see.
There's something you need to understand about being here. On Tuesdays we have a challenge, on Thursdays the voting and on Saturdays the elimination. Those take only 3 days of the week, if even that, I mean Voting takes like 15 minutes.
That leaves four to five days a week when we have absolutely nothing to do. We have no TV, no radio and the internet works maybe two hours a day. Sure, we can use the phone but there's only so many times you want to call your friends or family especially when you basically can't tell them anything because of the confidentiality agreement we have signed. And it's not like a person spends more than an hour or two at the gym.
And after about five weeks of tanning, playing the same basketball game with the same teams and lying on the same air mattress in the same pool, you kinda get sick of it also.
Just think about it. Why do you think the editors are able to fit a whole week of action into a 42 minutes? Because nothing ever happens here. So, you can imagine that we tend to get bored which leads us to being forced to invent stuff to do.
And with these crazy people here, you can bet your ass it's not gonna be anything normal or boring. Take this morning for instance…
"Nathan, this is serious. We need to win this."
"Stop pressuring me, Haley! We need to come up with a winning strategy, otherwise Skills and Taylor will win this. Do you want that? Do you?!"
"Of course not! You just need to move faster!"
"And you need to be stronger! Use the force, Haley. Use the force!"
"Okay, chill. Chill! Let's plan."
"Let's plan."
"Alright teams, gather around. The score is 2-2, next one wins. Remember, no hitting or scratching. Good luck. May the best team win."
That conversation between the ever-so-competitive team of Haley James and Nathan Scott might've indicated that something serious was going on. The stressed voices, the sneaky planning, the need to win and the worried glances? All proof and indicators that something important was going on.
One might think that based on the premises and the whole point of the show, it was the case of an important challenge on some random beach and that the previous announcer was TJ Lavin, the host of the show.
It was a MTV reality show but it wasn't TJ talking, it was Mouth and they weren't on a beach or at some other challenge location, instead the backyard pool. In fact, it wasn't even a challenge at all which they were participating in.
No. It was yet another, boring afternoon and all they wanted was to be entertained.
"Alright, Hales, this is ours!" Nathan said and dove down a few feet under water, as Haley, wearing their team shorts and a matching green bikini top, sat on his shoulders.
Nathan, wearing his green team shorts, came back to the surface with Haley on his shoulders. They slowly neared the pink team of Skills, who had Taylor on his shoulders.
"Alright, for the victory of 'Water Wrestle' and the magnificent prize of a warm, half full-"
"Half empty." Peyton retorted.
"-champagne bottle from last night! Teams ready! 3… 2… 1… GO!" Mouth yelled.
At the same time both the girls tried to push the other down, as the guys tried to keep balance by moving from side to side and holding onto their girls' legs. The other teams were circled around the pool, cheering for the two teams.
To many others the day at the pool might be the best day of the month, the true highlight of the summer but for the cast of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Season of Newbies, it was a normal, everyday moment.
"Alright, one more push and it's over!" Mouth said, announcing the battle from the side.
Right after that Haley and Nathan gave the opposing team that one last, needed push to send Taylor flying to the water.
"Team Green wins!"
"Yeah, baby!" Nathan yelled in victory as Haley screamed in joy.
"Ha, Taylor! In your face!" Haley yelled as her sister came back to the surface.
"You two are unbelievably annoying." Taylor said and swam to the side of the pool, wanting to get away from the duo.
"Or unbelievably unbeatable." Haley suggested with a laugh.
"Unbelievably good looking." Nathan continued as Taylor rolled her eyes and pushed herself off of the pool.
"Unbelievably smart." Haley added ruffling Nathan's hair as she jumped from his shoulders.
"Unbelievably awesome!" Nathan yelled after Taylor, who had just walked inside the house mumbling under her breath something about sticking to her original suggestion.
"She just doesn't see the flawless perfection that is us, of course." Nathan said.
"Amen buddy." Haley said and looked at Nathan mischievously.
He turned to look at her and just as he was about to ask her what was going on, she dunked him under water.
"It's on!" Nathan yelled as he came back up to the surface and grabbed Haley, who was trying to swim away, by her ankles and pulled her closer to him.
"You are going down!"
The rest of the day went pretty much as normal. Lunch, nap, swimming, eating, goofing around with everyone, and so on. It was later that night when Nathan asked Haley to join him for a run that the mood shifted.
They left the house and went for the route by the beach that he had ran almost every day since they got there. After running for almost an hour, they started to slow down and in the end decided to take their shoes off and just walk in the water to cool off.
"...so, since last week no one was cut, I'm pretty sure we're gonna have an elimination this week. There's only one Free Pass -coin left and I doubt we'll be lucky to have it two weeks in a row." Haley said.
"Who do you think is gonna be cut?" Nathan asked.
"I hate Rachel." Haley mumbled but turned to look at Nathan quickly. "But I like Luke a lot. More than I hate Rachel, so I could never vote them."
"Good." Nathan said. "I think either Mouth and Peyton, or Bevin and Tim are going. I mean, Luke and Rachel are tough and so are your sister and Skills. And we're obviously not going so it's either of those."
"Yeah, I guess..." Haley mumbled remembering her and Taylor's alliance with Brooke and Peyton.
The four girls had made a pact to stick together the second day in Mexico and it had worked many times when they had all decided to vote together, to ensure none of them would get too many votes.
Their master plan had taken place on second week when Nathan and Haley had done terrible on the challenge which meant that they had been an easy vote for many who wanted to vote based on performance. The four girls had managed to come up with a plan to make sure that Nathan and Haley would get less votes than Anna and Jake and they had even been responsible for Skills to realize his crush for Bevin and change his vote.
After the second week, it had been pretty easy for them because none of them had been on the chopping block. They hadn't even mentioned their alliance since the second week and Haley wondered whether Brooke and Peyton even wanted to be a part of it, especially since the previous week Haley had managed to piss off Brooke after she had played dirty on the labyrinth -challenge to ensure their victory. They had made up but she had a feeling it wouldn't last long.
Now they were down to six teams with each of the four girls in one. The two other teams were Rachel and Lucas, and Bevin and Tim. Since Haley loved Lucas like her own brother, she definitely didn't want him gone. Which only left...
"Bevin and Tim... Maybe them..." Haley said.
"I don't know..." Nathan said thoughtfully. "Even though they're not the smartest kids on the block, they've been doing pretty steady in the challenges so far. I think they might be here for a while longer."
"Yeah, maybe..." Haley mumbled not disagreeing with him. Bevin and Tim were tough competitors and definitely underrated.
"You want some water?" Nathan asked offering the water bottle for her that he had been carrying the entire time.
"Yeah, thanks." she said, enjoying the feel of sand between her toes.
They walked slowly for few minutes, passing the water bottle around. They didn't even pay attention to the camera man who was following them and truth to be told, none of them had even noticed the cameras since the first week. They had gotten so used to them that it felt like they were part of the cast.
"Hey." Nathan said snapping her out of her thoughts.
Haley turned to look at him and found Nathan staring at her with a small, happy smile.
"I know I don't say this often enough, but I'm really glad we're partners. I wouldn't change it for anything."
Haley swallowed hard and felt burning behind her eyelids. She swallowed again and turned to look away so she could control herself better. She suddenly got a strong urge to come clean, just open up. It wasn't just Nathan who was hurting from Haley's secret. It was eating at her to not be able to tell him the truth, to explain him everything.
Haley took in a deep breath, deciding that it was now or never. After all, he would find out when the show aired and she wanted to tell him herself before that anyway, so why not now. No time like the present, right.
"Look. A few weeks ago we had that fight about the phone call I got..." Haley started.
She glanced at Nathan who had whipped his head towards her, his gaze piercing her.
"I mean, I don't know if you even remember it anymore..." Haley started self consciously, suddenly feeling stupid for assuming that it had made an impact on him.
"I do remember it and I do think about it. Every day." he said immediately, almost as if he could read her mind. "But I saw how upset it made you so I decided to give you your space and not harass you about it."
She smiled to herself while looking at the sand under her toes.
"What do you think is going on?" she suddenly asked, half curiosity half procrastination. As much as Nathan had been wondering what was happening with her, she had been wondering what he had been thinking. It didn't go unnoticed to her that she had started to care quite a lot of what Nathan thought of her.
"I don't know. I mean, it's got to do with that Matt guy who called you and I know that you don't talk much about your family. You and Taylor always get uncomfortable when you're talking about why you are here. And I can't shake off this memory when Taylor was talking about you having been through a lot in your life. I don't know, it just sounded serious."
"Yeah..." Haley said genuinely surprised that he had noticed so much.
"But really, if you don't feel comfortable talking about whatever it is, I completely understand." he said, suddenly feeling guilty even though he wanted nothing more than for her to continue. He was glad when she did.
"No, it's not that. Trust me, I've had this conversation dozens of times before... I just..." Haley trailed off not wanting to voice her fear that Nathan would treat her differently.
"Just don't feel sorry for me, okay." Haley suddenly said looking at Nathan with a pleading look remembering the words of her shrink. Remember, Haley, you're not a victim. You're a survivor. If only other people realized that as well.
"Ok, now you're really starting to freak me out, Hales." Nathan said all humor completely gone from his voice. "What's going on? Who's Matt?"
"Matt's my brother." Haley said eager to answer the easier question first. "The rest is complicated, to say the least." she sighed, kicking sand before continuing.
"We're sort of in the middle of a family crisis right now. Our whole family didn't want us to take part in this show and when we still decided to do it, they freaked out." Haley sighed. "Mom and dad barely stay in contact, our sisters don't wanna have anything to do with us, the twins are ignoring us and Matt hasn't talked to us in months, besides the phone call obviously. We're basically disowned."
"Wow, that sucks... I had no idea, I'm so sorry." Nathan said and then added. "But I don't get why they were so against this, that seems a bit extreme."
"They didn't know how we would be portrayed. They were scared that it might screw up our changes for a normal future but mostly they were against this idea because of me. They didn't know how I would handle the pressure and how the show would handle my...situation." Haley said.
"Your situation?" Nathan asked now terrified what he might hear.
Haley stopped walking when she noticed how close to the house they were getting. She definitely wanted to have the conversation in private. Haley turned to look at Nathan who was looking at her with a pale face.
"Nathan, you can't freak out, ok." Haley said with a stern voice. "I need you."
"I promise I won't freak out." Nathan said swallowing hard. Anymore than I already am...
Haley took in a deep breath. Here we go...
"I'm sick." she said and then corrected. "I was sick."
"Flu?" Nathan asked quietly. The quiet, pained look she gave him was answer enough and he knew immediately what she would say next. In a way, he had known for a while. Still, as the word left her mouth, he could feel his entire world shift in its axis.
"Cancer." Haley finished and saw Nathan's face go completely white as he slowly closed his eyes with a pained expression.
"But I'm not sick anymore!" Haley said quickly taking a hold of his shoulders, forcing him to open his eyes. "I went through all the treatments years ago and it worked but the reason why Tay and I are here is because we're stuck with all the hospital bills. Well, I'm stuck with the bills. She's just being the best sister in the world." she whispered her voice full of appreciation for her sister.
"Oh my god." Nathan said in shock and sat down on the ground with a thud.
"Nathan, you promised not to freak out."
"I'm not. I'm cool. We're cool. Everybody's cool." he said rushed.
Haley just looked at him with a small smile and looked at him in the eyes as she sat down next to him.
Nathan's arms were around his knees loosely and as Haley sat next to him, she wrapped her hands around his other hand.
"I'm fine, Nathan." Haley said slowly as if to emphasize the point. "The treatments worked."
"But it might come back, right." he stated.
"Well, we can never be certain..." Haley started. "But I'm not dying! I know that's the first thing that people think. Nathan, I'm not dying." she said squeezing his arm tighter.
"It's just..." he said feeling his throat tighten and his eyes starting to water a bit. Nathan swallowed hard, forcing himself to be strong.
"When did you find out?" Nathan asked, begging for her to speak so he wouldn't have to fight through the lump in his throat.
"I was diagnosed when I was 13 and I-"
"13?" Nathan asked with a pained voice.
"It wasn't as bad you'd think." Haley said and saw Nathan give him a bitter, disbelieving look. "No, really! I mean, yeah I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty tough and I was in pain. And I spent a good amount of my first year in hospital... But things got better eventually. And you learn not to take things for granted and you start to enjoy life as it is. Sounds corny and so fucking cliché but it's true."
"So, you're healthy. Cured." Nathan said.
"A hundred percent cancer-free, thank you very much." she said proudly.
"How did you find out?" Nathan asked.
"I started to feel weak and so I went for a normal doctor's check..." Haley started and told Nathan her entire story how she found out about her cancer, went through chemo and radiation, and ended up spending most of her teenage years in a children's hospital.
After talking for a while and after reassuring him fifteen times that she was healthy, he was finally starting to understand the subject a bit better.
"It's just so unfair." Nathan started. "I mean, you're the nicest and sweetest... You've gone through so much. Then there's someone like me who's a total asshole and I've never been sick in my life."
"Hey, I happen to think you're pretty awesome." Haley said. "And life's not fair but you learn to deal with it."
"How can you say that? Aren't you mad?"
"Oh, trust me. I used to be mad and angry and bitter and it only made me miserable. I was mad at everything and everyone..." Haley said thoughtfully and then looked at Nathan with wide eyes and a clear, innocent voice.
"But then I found Scientology."
Haley laughed when Nathan turned to look at her with a weird expression on his face.
"I'm kidding, Nathan. I just wanted to get some reaction out of you other than shock."
"Not funny, Hales." Nathan said but gave out a small chuckle. "Cancer's not funny."
"Why not? Maybe humor, albeit dark and morbid, is a coping mechanism. You need to be able to take things lightly, otherwise the smallest obstacle can break you."
Haley didn't say anything for a while, just let Nathan process everything.
"One of the reasons why I wanted to tell you now was so you'd know that there was an actual reason why I'm not as strong as the other girls." Haley finished quickly.
"Oh, shit." Nathan said in shock as he suddenly remembered all the times he had called her weak or athletically useless. He now also understood why she hadn't liked when he had called her skinny.
"Haley, I'm- I'm- I'm so sorry." he said in full on panic mode. "I never meant- If I had known- I just- Shit! I'm so sorry. So, so sorry."
"It's okay." she said. "I mean, it's kinda the truth. I am smaller and not as strong as the some of the others, I mean Taylor did hours of cardio a day for months before we came here."
"No, no, no, no! The reason why we did so bad in the beginning was me! I didn't listen to you and... I'm so sorry."
"Hey, stop apologizing. You didn't know." she said. "And it was not you. We did like crap in the beginning because we hated each other and wouldn't talk. That's it."
"But still, I'm sorry, Haley."
"Apology accepted. And I'm sorry for not telling you earlier but I'm glad I did now. Thanks for being here."
They sat in silence for almost a full minute.
"Have I told you recently how awesome you are? 'Cause you are! Fucking savage, Hales." Nathan said with a grin.
"Shut up."
"No, I really mean it."
"Yeah and I really mean this too. Shut up. Brooke's coming our way."
"Team Green!" Brooke yelled with a cheerful wave while walking towards them. "What the hell are you doing here? You've been sitting here forever."
"Just going through some strategy." Haley said and gave Brooke a smirk. "On how to bring you down."
"Oh, please. Chase and I are so winning the next one." Brooke said grinning and looked at Haley who was grinning, and Nathan who had tight smile which looked forced.
"Nah, you'll be a good second." Haley said. "So, what's up?"
"Just wanted to let you know that we're eating in 15 minutes." Brooke said.
"Great. We'll be there soon." Haley said.
"Good." Brooke said and turned to look at Nathan. "You're unusually quiet. What's up with you?"
Haley quickly turned to look at Nathan who was staring at Brooke with that deer in headlights look.
"I'm just hungry. You know, men and food... Can't really function well..." he said forcing a smile.
"Yeah, I do." Brooke said. "So, I'll see you soon."
The twosome watched as Brooke walked back to the house. When she was gone, Haley smacked Nathan lightly at the back of his head.
"Ouch!"
"That's for freaking out and acting weird!" she hissed but then pleaded. "Nathan, you have to act normal. You can't tell anyone about this. No one can know! Not even Lucas. I do not wanna become the pity case for the next five weeks."
"Okay, I understand. I won't say a word. I promise." he said. "But I don't think people would react that way."
"They always do. Look, it's the easiest thing in the world to stay bitter, blame the universe for screwing you over and just give up. People pity you and talk to you differently and it changes the way you behave. I need to stay mentally strong and believe in myself. I'm not a victim, Nathan. I'm a survivor." she repeated out loud.
He could feel something shift inside him, his priorities rearranging and his view of the world turning. At that moment he realized that no longer did he consider himself to be his first priority; she was at the top of the list now. The only one in the list.
"Good... So, that was the big secret. Any questions?" Haley asked, praying he didn't have any. They had talked for over an hour now and she felt emotionally drained.
"Yes actually, I do have." Nathan said.
"Okay, hit it." Haley said and sighed as she realized that dinner and sleep would have to wait.
"How many siblings do you have? I lost count after five." he said and smiled as Haley started laughing.
"I come from a big family." Haley said relieved. "There's seven of us." She smiled when Nathan looked at her surprised.
"Wow! Five kids... Your parents must've had their hands full." Nathan said.
"No, there are seven kids and our parents." Haley said and grinned at the look Nathan gave her, the look she always got when she told people she had six siblings.
"Sweet Jesus! Your parents religious? Never heard of protection? What are they trying to do, raise an army? A football team?" Nathan asked laughing.
"Shut up." Haley said laughing. "My parents just wanted a big family. And I had a very nice childhood, thank you very much."
Haley said and gave out a laugh. Her laugh slowly faded as she thought about her situation with her parents at the moment.
"I'm sure they'll come around." Nathan said reading her mind.
"Yeah, let's hope so." she said. "Are you hungry?"
"Starving. Let's go have some dinner."
"Yes!"
"Race you?" Nathan suggested looking at the stairs that led from the beach to the backyard of the house.
"Oh, you're on." Haley said and they both sprinted up the stairs.
They raced the stairs, Nathan beating her which actually only made Haley happy because it meant that he didn't let her win. Even she knew that she had no chance in hell to beat him physically.
"Ha! Winner!" Nathan yelled in triumph as he made it to the top of the stairs.
"Only because your legs are twice the length of mine." Haley said catching her breath. "You took like three steps at a time!"
"Still the winner." he said with a proud voice as they walked towards the kitchen.
"Whatever." Haley said as they entered kitchen and saw Brooke and Taylor cooking.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked.
"Hey, sis." Taylor said laughing. "Good to see you for a change. Someone's been gone the whole day!"
"You know me, busy like a bee." Haley said with a grin and grabbed a spoon so she could stir the pasta sauce.
"You never hang out with me anymore." Taylor pouted.
"Ha! You're the one who's flirting with guys all the time and forgetting about dear old me."
Taylor looked at Haley, her mouth wide open.
"Ooohh, it's on." Taylor said and hugged Haley hard as she started to ruffle her hair.
"Awww, you're messing my hair!" Haley said laughing.
"Who's the greatest big sister in the world? Who?"
"Vivian!" Haley yelled and started to giggle as Taylor huffed and started to tickle her.
"Wrong answer! Who?"
"Oh, come on you two. You're messing up the whole kitchen!" Brooke exclaimed as the spoon Haley was holding was dripping the pasta sauce all over the floor.
"You're going gown!" Taylor said when Haley managed to get away from her grip and sprinted to the living room where the others were staying.
The group smiled as the two sisters came running to the living room.
"Haley! I ask again! Who's the best big sister in the world?" Taylor asked while she started to circle the table where the others were sitting. Haley started to circle the table as well, to keep away from Taylor.
"Quinn!" Haley screamed and laughed even harder as Taylor sprinted to catch her.
Nathan smiled at the two girls who were now laughing and giggling on the couch where Taylor had tackled Haley.
As Nathan watched Taylor goof around with her sister, he suddenly got all the flashbacks from the last month whenever Taylor had talked about Haley. All the times she had defended her sister, cared for her or just been there for her…
Nathan watched Taylor leave the couch to continue cooking as Haley got up and joined the others around the table while licking the spoon absentmindedly. As he watched her talk with Peyton about something girly, for a split second he saw her happy, smiling face turn into a serious one. Her eyes held tiredness and he saw her features turn from happy to worried, almost exhausted.
Then she laughed at something Peyton said and her eyes sparkled again. The worried look on her face was gone so fast that later on he wondered if it had even happened.
He took in a deep breath and enjoyed the happy Haley again, never wanting to see the worried look on her face again.
So, Haley told me about her cancer and I can't believe she's been through so much in her life. Especially her! I just… It's just unfair, you know. I mean, Haley's… She's pretty much the best person I know and to have her go through something like that… Just unfair, you know. She was only 13 and she spent most of her teenage years in a friggin' hospital while I was partying, basically not giving a crap about anything!
And now she's here, trying to get the money so she could pay off her hospital bills while I came here to party and win the money so that I could party more! And to top it all, she got partnered with me, someone who pretty much made her life a living hell the first three weeks here. That's not to say that she didn't return the favor, repeatedly. I have no idea why she keeps calling herself weak though, the girl is savage. Fucking fearless. And she's my partner.
This changes everything. I'm gonna make sure she's gonna win that money and start a new life 'cause she deserves it more than anyone else I know. I'm gonna get us there, to the final and get her the money.
That's what's gonna keep me going, she's my motivation. Her, I'm doing this for her. You try to stop me or get in my way and I will fucking end you. It's us two until the end.