Hey all! I'm so thrilled, delighted, excited, ecstatic, overjoyed, pleased, elated, over the moon and tickled (don't ask me about the tickled bit, its what it says in the online thesaurus) that you lot like my fan fiction! Despite the 13 reviews, (YES 13! I know it's not many but I'm a noob so it is for me) I think that we could be doing so much better! Come on people!

This is just a random note that as a vegetarian I feel compelled to add: If all the people in the U.S. reduced their meat intake by ten percent then we could save up to one hundred MILLION starving people.

Anyway I know you are dying to read the rest so I will shut up.

I can't help myself, one last note, throughout the U.S. sixty six hundred thousand cows alone die every hour for consumption.

Italics are Harry's thoughts

Draco's hand rested on the door knob.

Harry had to do something, but he couldn't think at all. He and Draco couldn't go in the cupboard; if they did… he couldn't even think what might happen.

So Harry did the only thing that he could think of.

He rugby tackled Draco.

When he thought about it later he could have done something less obvious, like kiss Draco passionately or something like that.

As you may expect Draco was slightly shocked by this gesture.

"PANSY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

What do I say? I wonder how it would sound if I said 'I tackled you because you were about to go into the cupboard where our naked, turned-on potions professor is currently residing.'

"PANSY! Answer me! What the fuck is going on?"

"Sorry, I fell."

Damn me and my useless excuses for excuses!

"That's ok babe."

He took that surprisingly well.

"Now let's get in that cupboard."

Damn.

And before Harry could protest any more, he was firmly pushed into the cupboard.

He stumbled forwards.

This cupboard is so bloody big I'm surprised it doesn't go into Narnia. ( Editor- What? It's a classic!)

Harry reached into the back of the cupboard, just to clarify that Snape didn't actually have Narnia in his cupboard.

To Harry's horror, he grasped a 'trunk' of another kind, and quickly withdrew his hand as he heard Snape moan.

"I know you want me Pansy, but I haven't even got started yet." said Draco, who was now in the cupboard, and closing the door, leaving Harry with his hopes ebbing from him as the light disappeared.

He felt the warmth of Draco's body press against him, and the cold of the wood of the wardrobe squashing his back to a pulp as Draco applied pressure.

Things began to get a bit heavier, as Draco's hands wondered over Harry's borrowed chest, Harry was paralyzed with pleasure. He had dreamed of this moment! (Except in his dreams he was a guy and Snape wasn't with them)

Harry began breathing heavily as Draco applied more pressure grinding against him, and making him want to faint.

"Hey," said Draco "I just felt someone else in here."

Trust Snape to ruin it!!

Draco pulled away slightly, at the same time as withdrawing his wand from his pocket.

"Lumos."

The wand flickered like a faulty light-bulb.

Harry saw Snape behind Draco looming out of the Darkness, like a cheesy-horror film that, despite being cheesy, scares people shitless.

Harry stuttered and tried to get his bearings.

Draco must have seen 'Pansy's' eyes widen with terror, he peered behind him, and spotted Snape lurking, still dressed only in a pressed shirt.

If Ron and Hermione could see me now. Picture this:

A faux Pansy Parkinson wearing a red see-through cheese grating bra and matching pants (which are currently round her ankles.)

The faux Pansy was recently being ravished in a cupboard by a fully dressed Draco.

Said Draco has just spotted slimy Potions Professor lurking behind him wearing no trousers.

Ron…he would still be laughing when he and Harry were old and wrinkly.

Hermione would advise he read a book like 'Dating for complete idiots'

Harry resolved then and there never to tell them.

"Oh, Professor, what are you doing in your cupboard?" to Harry's surprise, Draco was amazingly un-surprised.

Harry expected Snape to reel off a story about finding ingredients for a potion to make his trousers disappear.

But Snape told Draco every detail!

Yes, the whole shebang!

With added groans and groin gestures at appropriate intervals.

"Sounds like fun," said Draco without a hint of sarcasm. "Now Sir, if you don't mind I'll take Pansy back to my room. I think it's my turn for a bit of fun."

What am I- a hooker?

Well… what do you think? Yes, No, Maybe, don't know? To be honest I don't care! Just let me know by reviewing! Lol, lets try and hit 15 reviews this time!

I'll up-date again soon!