Oh My Gods

by EquinoxKnight01

An accident at the Springs changes everything... REVISION COMPLETED! Yay! Rated T for language and suggestive themes. Warning: Later chapters might include bad grammar. Still in the process of co-working with my beta-reader, BornWithTheSupercell.

14. Legacy

(A/N I know what you're doing… And I accept your challenge, readers.

Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD. This story is non-profit.

Stoick the Vast

Opening the door and stepping outside, I saw Hiccup running for his life. I should've been concerned about his health like any other parent, but I found myself chuckling.

"That's what you get for taking my breakfast." I roared with laughter when I saw a flash of blue explode from down below. From the highest peak in the village, you got a view of the town and docks. Squinting harder, I saw Hiccup dodge another one of his own dragon's fire blast. I walked out even more to get a better view of the humorous show, but something stopped. I looked away from the chase and turned myself around towards the house. I smelt smoke. Something was burning. Did I forget to put out the fire in the kitchen?

After a mental checklist, I assumed I wouldn't do something that careless. Backing away from the house, I saw it, and a deep frown set upon my face. Can I ever win…?

I put my hands on my hips and drew in deep breath, a habit I done multiple times when I'm about to make a big decision. I blew it out. "Back to bed." I decided, walking back inside, but not before reminding myself to call the Village Carpenter later on today.

OooOooO

Hiccup the Spaz

I was about to ask Ingrid if we were there yet, but my second most hated person in the world just rounded the corner of a vendor's shop. Tuffnut Thorston.

I was walking at a faster pace than Ingrid, so Tuffnut saw me first. I stopped in my tracks and glared at him. He didn't even do anything wrong yet, but his very presence was an annoyance. A wicked grin came to his face. "Hey, Useless. Ready for a beat-" He cut himself off to a idiotic stutter when Ingrid came into view right next to me.

Tuffnut put on a fake smile and addressed Ingrid politely. His mother and Ingrid were on friendly terms. Often gossiping every now and then at the Laundry Rivers. If Tuffnut got into any trouble anywhere near Ingrid, his mother, Baara the Wild, would rip Tuffnut a new one.

"Uh, good afternoon. Ms-mrs. Hofferson." Tuffnut muttered awkwardly. He didn't know which honorific to use for the widow. "Um, did you need help with the groceries?" He said, changing the subject. He reached out for the packages foods in Ingrid's arms. But Ingrid pulled away. Tuffnut tripped but caught himself.

I stifled a laugh. It was amusing to see Tuffnut trying a little too hard to help. He sent a sly glare at me.

"No thank you. Hiccup is already helping me." Ingrid said, smiling at me. "But since you're not too busy, why don't you ask the stables men for any assistance?"

Tuffnut visibly paled.

"It seems the dragons have been eating bad fish lately. They would appreciate the help down there." By the tone of her voice, it wasn't a suggestion.

Tuffnut grimaced and took his time walking in the direction of the Dragon Stables. He had no choice now if he didn't want to face the wrath of his mother later. I, only the other hand, was grinning at his demise. Ingird started walking again, but not before she muttered something along the lines of "Do more harm than good." My smile widened. Not only did she save me from Tuffnut, but she also made his day worse. I sprinted to catch up to her.

After a few more blocks, we finally made it to the house. Ingrid walked up the steps to the door while I waited at the beginning of the steps. Ingrid looked over her shoulder. "Let me just work this door. Sometimes, it gets stuck."

I nodded back.

It's been five minutes, and Ingrid was still juggling her share of the groceries while trying to open her front door. I offered to put the produce I was holding on the ground to open it for her, but her curt reply stopped me.

"No, no. Don't let even a speck of dirt get on those groceries…" Ingrid hissed.

Her face was red from either carrying the groceries or the damned door that refused to open. Either way, I made it my mission to stand perfectly still.

Finally, Ingrid had enough of the nonsense. She gathered the groceries in one arm and then turned her hip, kicking the door down, off it's hinges. Then she turned around and addressed me politely, completely opposite from just a moment ago. "Alright, lets go unpack and make lunch!" Ingrid said with a forced smile, walking into her home.

I scurried up the porch stairs, past the broken doorframe, not wanting to be the receiving end of another explosive kick. Now inside, I was kind of lost. I've only been in the living room. I didn't know my way around the house at all. I only have a good memory of where Ingrid rushed me inside last time.

Before I looked around, I picked up the door and connected the crudely made hinges. Then quickly pick up the groceries before Ingrid showed up. Now I have figure where she went.

As soon as you get in, the living room was to you're right. To your left was a wall that held traditional weapons passed down the Hofferson's line hanging. But now looking from the entrance of the house, I took in my surroundings. Straight ahead were the stairs that led upstairs, probably to Astrid's room. Next to the staircase was the hallway. A thought went through my mind. What does Astrid's room look like?

My curiosity was shot down when a yell came from wherever the kitchen might be.

"Hiccup, where are you with the rest of the groceries?"

I hurried down the hall, searching for the origin of Ingrid's yell. Going down the hallway, I already passed three closed doors. I looked back at one of the shut doors. What could be in those rooms? The hallway seemed to go on forever. How long is this hallway? I thought right before running into Ingrid again for the second time today. Instead of the both of us falling backwards, it was just me. Ingrid was unfazed.

But before any of the food fell out, I caught myself, extending my free arm out to balance myself. Then I put the groceries down and stood up, amazed. I've never been able to stop myself from falling flat on my face before.

"Are you ok, Hiccup?"

I picked the groceries back up. "Yea, sorry about that." I would've flinched if my arms were free. I thought she would surely throttle me for crashing into her again. Astrid would have. But Ingrid didn't do anything but be concerned of me. Where does Astrid get her explosive behavior from?

"It's alright. Come, as soon as we unpack, we can start preparing lunch." She ushered me into the dining room. I put the groceries down on the dining table and started unloading. The same food as what I get from the market. Blocks of cheese, loafs of bread, cartons of eggs, and lastly a good ration of deli meats. I smiled. Everything was packed impressively. Hard foods like cheese and meats at the bottom and fragile foods like bread and eggs at the top. I thought I was the only one that cared for the order. Dad would usually just throw everything in. Although there was something missing that I thought Ingrid might've forgotten. Pork.

Or rather ham, Astrid's least favorite food. The ham was substituted by sausages, Astrid's all-time favorite. I've always wondered why she liked sausages over ham. Was it the flavor? Or maybe the texture? A dirty thought went through my mind, causing me to blush deeply. For Odin's sake, Astrid's mother is standing right there! I scolded myself. But that didn't help the new situation I was in. One stupid thought and I now have a "problem". I'm hopeless.

"Honestly, Hiccup, are you daydreaming again?"

No, I'm trying not be a perverted moron. I thought to myself, turning away from her. "Sorry, where did you want the johnsons- SASUGES! Where did you want them?" I said too loudly trying to hide my mistake. I hoped she wouldn't be too freaked out.

Thankfully she didn't seem to notice my usual spazness. "Oh, just put them in the cupboard over there." She pointed towards the cabinet above the broil oven. Located across the room…

Walking there, I held a loaf of bread in the front of me and had my back towards Ingrid. Hopefully, she wouldn't ask about my strange behavior. Unfortunately she did.

"Hiccup, what are you doing?" Ingrid asked. I looked over my shoulder. She had an eyebrow raised.

"Uh… just putting away the sausages." It was the truth. Just a weird way of doing it.

"Well, I know that." She shook her head at my precocious answer. "But what are you doing with the bread? The bread holder is right here." She directed to her left, where in fact, the bread holder sat.

I have to think of something quick. Ingrid is getting suspicious. But how do you get rid of a stiffy? Think, Hiccup. Think. A lewd image got you into this, so maybe a turn off image will get rid of little Hiccup.

"Hiccup, are you feeling alright?" Ingrid put away the last of the eggs and started approaching me. "Are you feeling ill?"

My eyes grew wide. Quickly! Uh… The Elder in the Springs! My problem went away so fast, I thought I broke it. Dreading, my life went before my eyes. Ending with never having children… My phantom son asking an obvious question, spoken in Spanish.

"¿Por qué, padre. ¿Por qué eres tan idiota pervertido?" Phantom son asked. But I didn't have an answer for him. Because… I couldn't speak Spanish…

When Ingrid finally got in front of me, she put a hand to my forehead, checking if I have a fever. "Hiccup? What's wrong?" She asked in pure concern.

My stomach growled out loud in response. That brought me out of it. Well, I didn't have breakfast. Ingrid breathed out a sigh of relief. "Well, if that's all, let's get started on that stew." She pushed past me to get a pot from the cupboard behind me. Then she set it on the pot and went to the counter to begin cutting vegetables. She noticed that I was just standing there doing nothing. "Hiccup, you mind cutting those onions for me? I hate cutting them, they irritate my eyes."

I got out of my stupor and hurried to the counter and also got a cutting board. I got the sack of onions and began cutting, but paused. "Do you want strings or chunks?"

Ingrid blinked. "My, Hiccup, I thought I was the only one to care for the little things with foods." Ingrid gave me a one-armed hug. "You think you can make small cubes? That way they'll melt into the stew." Ingrid asked.

"Sure." I gave her a genuine smile, glad I wasn't alone. At least somebody still cares about groceries and cooking.

The both of us continued cooking, Ingrid was stirring the meat broth while I sliced the skin off the potatoes. The sound of fluttering came from upstairs. Ingrid was the first to respond.

"Don't worry, it's just Astrid's dragon, Spike." She informed me.

I nodded in understanding. A spike of dread came to me. What if Astrid was with Spike? But a thought calmed me down. Astrid was probably still riding Toothless, looking for me. Spike probably came back from an afternoon flight. I relaxed my nerves and proceeded peeling. Ingrid threw some potato skins at me to get my attention. "Sorry, did you say something?"

Ingrid smirked. "No, I just like throwing scraps at you for no apparent reason." She turned back to the stew. "I said, don't worry about Spike. If she's hungry she'll just go into the back looking for the fish shed." Ingrid chuckled. "I swear, every time I try to feed her, she's picky. Got that from Astrid, huh?" Ingrid went into a fit of laughter. I joined in too. This was nice. Cooking and telling jokes. Just like when Mother was alive.

"And she's got the fiery temper to match." I joked.

Ingrid calmed down, but that just sent her into another fit. "No, no more. My heart can only handle so much." She said as her got her breath back. Then she walked over to the tub of perfectly skinned and sliced potatoes. "Oh, Hiccup, you are such a delight. I should invite here more often. Astrid couldn't cook a meal for the life of her." She said with an airy giggle before heaving the tub up, about to dump it's contents into the stew pot.

"Thanks. I'm having fun too, uh…"

Ingrid sensed my confused manner. "Call me Ingrid." She smiled over her shoulder.

"Ok. Thanks for inviting me, I-Ingrid" I stuttered out, blushing. I don't even talk to my Dad with his first name.

Another laugh came from Ingrid. "What are you getting so flustered for? If you want, just call me Ms. Hofferson. Ok, Mr. Haddock?" She giggled, when I turned another shade.

I smiled and shook my head. I'm a blushing mess. I thought. I walked beside her to see how the stew was doing. Ingrid peeked and saw me studying the stew. "It's just about done. Could you get the bowls and spoons, please?" She asked.

I agreed and asked where they're stored. Ingrid pointed to the pantry by the door of the living room. I walked over and opened it, got two bowls and two spoons. I thought about getting cups. I turned to ask Ingrid, and that's when Astrid walked into the dining room in just her bindings. I froze and gripped the bowls until my knuckles turned white. My heart raced and a million reasons went through my head as to why Astrid just walked in in only her clothed undergarments. Either the Hoffersons don't get many visitors, the fact that there's no males living in the house, or Ingrid and Astrid have 'that' kind of relationship to walk around the house like that like nobodies business. I thought before turning away from Astrid before she met my eyes. From where I was, she didn't notice I was there, or else I would have been dead by now. Here's the layout; Astrid came in by the door, I was by the door but shielded by island wall. Astrid's peripherals couldn't see me. Ingrid was to the my right at the stove. Astrid walked in and stood in front of the table. Yea, bad description but, I've got more important things to worry about. Like, if I died without knowing it and ended up in Valhalla. I mean, there Astrid was, in all her glory. Except her bindings, but they hid nothing from my imagination. Is this Valhalla?

Ingrid saw Astrid. "I just finished making stew, are you hungry?"

Astrid sat herself down and reclined into the chair. Let's just say, I would need a few loafs of spare bread. "Ugh, I'm starving. I didn't get to have any breakfast."

Ingrid tested the stew. "And why is that. I thought I told you, you need breakfast everyday."

Astrid groaned. "Yea, yea I know. It's just… nothing. I just really need a hot bath…"

"You've already taken one for this month, Astrid."

"Yea, I know. But I wish I could have another one, I need it." Astrid said. A thump on the table indicated that she rested her head on the table.

Ingrid put in a pinch of salt and held the ladle out to taste again. "Breakfast isn't nothing, it's important. Anyway, come over here and taste this for me."

A chair scraped against the floor and the sound of foot steps came closer. I jumped and quickly hid myself in the pantry, I left the door ajar and peeked through.

Astrid walked up to the stove. Ingrid left to the stove, and a confused frown set upon her face. She was probably wondering where I was. With Ingrid at the counter, I got a full view of Astrid picking up the ladle to her mouth. She took a small swig and put it back into the pot. "It's fine, can I eat it now?" But the ladle wasn't position correctly and fell to the floor. Astrid groaned and bent over forward to pick it up off the floor. I almost fainted right then and there in the pantry. I could die today and not have any regrets.

Astrid stood back up, unbeknownst to a gawking perverted spaz hiding in the pantry, and put the ladle in the washing tub. I recovered quickly enough to see that she was heading directly towards the pantry! I stood stiff as a board, no pun intended. Right before Astrid was about to open the door, I thought I would be meeting my Spanish-speaking son sooner than I thought.

Astrid opened the door, grabbed the two bowls and spoons out of my hands, then closed the door as if she didn't even see me. I heard her retreating footsteps and breathed out in relief. I heard Astrid set the bowls down and sit down, pulling herself to the table. Ingrid heaved the pot up and with heavy foot steps, she finally got to the table and plopped it down onto the table. "Here's a hefty helping for you…" Ingrid poured Astrid's stew. "Some for me…" Pouring her own. "Astrid, where's the other bowl?"

Astrid mumbled something. Ingrid chided her for talking with her mouth full. "So impatient when you're hungry. Really." Ingrid walked over to the pantry and swung open the door. I stood there, trying to look lost as if I was stupid enough to get lost in a storeroom. "There you are Hiccup!"

Besides hearing the blood flush from my face, I heard Astrid choke on her stew. "Hey… I was just looking for more bowls." I replied lamely as I stepped out of the closet, but not before grabbing a bowl for my alibi. Ingrid nodded and shooed me to the table so that she could serve me. Astrid tried bolting out of her seat and hid in the kitchen. "Astrid, sit back down!"

"Hel no! Hiccup is right there!" Astrid ducked her head back into the kitchen.

But Ingrid wasn't having it. "Astrid, don't use that language. And don't make me drag you out of the kitchen!"

"But!" Astrid poked her head back out, about to protest, but Ingrid stopped her with a stern look. "Fine, just make Hiccup eat outside."

"I'll do no such thing. He's our guest and he's been kind enough to labor over a hot stove to help me make lunch." Ingrid walked into the kitchen and pulled Astrid out by one of her bindings attached to her Astrid's waist. Ingrid sat Astrid down. "Mom! At least let me put my clothes and armor back on!" Her normally pale face was a deep red from embarrassment.

"After you eat everything in your bowl." Ingrid "Besides, he's as hungry as you are. He'll eat inside WITH us at the table." Ingrid looked over her shoulder to me. "Come sit Hiccup, let's begin eating already."

When I got to the table, I saw that Astrid was sitting erect in her seat with her arms pressed firmly over her chest. Her bindings had become undone in her struggle with her mother. She was holding them up. Unfortunately for the both of us, Ingrid got the head of the table and I had to sit across from her. I thought Astrid would be glaring at me, but instead she was doing everything in her power to avoid meeting my eyes. So I looked down to start eating. Big mistake. The instance my gaze turned downward, Astrid caught me and glowered at me. She narrowed her eyes and mouthed something. But I couldn't understand, so she gritted her teeth and made the gesture of cutting my throat with her hand. The moment she lifted her arm away from her chest, a binding fell off. Astrid's widened and she slapped both arms back to her chest.

I don't know if I was going to continue to live amongst the living after lunch or if I was just a idiot, but I put my hand over my ear in the gesture "What? I didn't hear you.", with a smirk.

Astrid flared and she replied by putting both her hands into a gesture of executing me with her axe, forgetting about her loose bindings. They fell down and revealed a generous view of Astrid's cleavage. Astrid squeaked and wrapped her chest with her arms again. I gave Astrid a thumbs up in approval. Sealing my fate.

Ingrid had already sat down to eat, oblivious to our showdown, until she heard Astrid squeak. Then she noticed that neither of us have eaten our stew. She put her foot down. "If you don't eat your lunches, I'll take away your axe", she pointed to Astrid, "and send you clean out the Dragon Stables with Tuffnut." She told me. I picked up my spoon and shoved it into my mouth. Rumors have been going around that the dragons at the tables have been having stomach problems. Something I definitely did not want to do anytime soon.

"Mom, it's not my fault! My bindings are loose and Hiccup's right there!" Astrid pointed a finger in my face.

Ingrid was confused. "So what if Hiccup is sitting there? Aren't you two dating?" She ignored her daughter's shocked expression. "Gods, Astrid, don't be so bashful. Hiccup has probably already seen you naked multiple times. Now eat your stew before it gets cold." Ingrid said in finality.

Astrid was beet red. Petrified at her mother's accusation.

I snorted. I wish. I thought, then looked down to see if I had anymore meat left, I scooped up some more stew.

OooOooO

Astrid the Sexy Valkyrie

I saw that Hiccup was keeping to himself as he ate. Good, I was two seconds away from jumping over the table and wiping that smirk off his face. How dare he trick me like that. He's just lucky Mom's here, or else… But I won't give Hiccup the satisfaction of seeing me squirm under his gaze. I pulled my arms away and started eating. The cloths undone themselves and my chest was up for display, but I ignored it. I was about to drop dead if I didn't put something in my stomach soon. I still kept one eye on Hiccup, just in case he thought of getting a show.

"Hiccup, this turned out better than I thought it would." Ingrid praised. "Can I get your recipe?" She laughed.

Hiccup smiled. "Sorry, that's a secret." Hiccup joked along with her.

I, on the other hand, was about to gag. My mother was acting like she was gossiping with the other hens she usually hung out with. Today is getting weirder and weirder. As they continued to joke around, I indulged myself with stew until things started making sense again. That's when a knock came from the front door.

Mom was in a deep conversation with Hiccup on how to properly bake a sweet bread loaf, she waved at me to answer the door. I looked at her incredulously. She really doesn't expect me to answer the door half-naked, does she? I thought, not budging from my chair. The knock sounded again, this time half-way close to pounding the door down. Mom frowned and got up to see who it was, but not before tugging on my braid for not answering the door. "Hold that thought Hiccup, I'll see whose trying to kick the door down."

I winced and rubbed the back of my head. Hopefully, it's Ruffnut to save me from this… I looked up to see Hiccup giving me a crooked grin. I narrowed my eyes at him and covered my revealing bust. Hiccup breath out a sigh. From me cutting off his entertainment or because I kept the pot of stew to the side of my bowl. I didn't care.

"Astrid-" Hiccup started with a serious face.

"What?" I hissed. Honestly, I wouldn't lose sleep if I didn't hear what he had to say.

"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for what happened earlier with breakfast." Hiccup moved his bowl away. "I shouldn't have ran in blindly. But come on, I was kind of in a life or death situation with you."

Damn straight. I thought with a small smile. Hiccup caught that and smiled back, but I quickly frowned again.

Hiccup also frowned at the disappearance of my smile. "Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed lunch, I helped make it with your mother."

"What do you want? A reward?" I asked rhetorically sarcastically. I reclined back into the chair. The lunch was great, better than usual. But as far as I was concerned, Hiccup was off the hook yet.

Hiccup grinned widely. "No, I think this is good enough." He slapped his hands over his mouth.

Before I could impale him with my spoon, Mom and Stoick walked into the dining room. Freya, kill me now. I thought to myself, trying to tie my bindings back into place. The Chief of Berk just came into my house and I'm not decent. Great. This is probably Loki's doing. Now Stoick and I have both seen each other in our less dignifying manner.

If Stoick was bothered by my lack of clothes, he didn't show it. Instead, he went straight for Hiccup's bowl and shoved Hiccup out of his seat.

I laughed to myself. Karma.

Stoick reached out to help himself to the stew, but Mom swatted his hand. I raised my eyebrows at Mom's boldness. You don't just smack Stoick's hand away. Stoick tried sneaking another helping for the bowl, but again Mom swatted his hand.

Stoick pouted. "Ingrid, what is the meaning of this?"

"Because, this is for the kids." Ingrid said.

Stoick looked shocked, then he put a gruff face on. "As Chief of Berk, I command that you step down and give me stew." Stoick said, standing tall over Ingrid and puffing out his chest. He held his bowl out.

Ingrid was unfazed by the rather silly use of Stoick's power. "Why, Stoick? Give me one reason."

"Because…" Stoick deflated. "I didn't have breakfast." Stoick pouted and frowned like a child not getting their sweets.

Ingrid threw her hands up in the air. "What is with everyone today?" She exclaimed before looking at Hiccup. "Have you had breakfast, Hiccup?"

Hiccup shook his head.

Ingrid stared in disbelief. "Sit down, Stoick." She said and began pouring the last of the stew into Stoick's bowl, the bowl was overflowed, but Stoick already attacked it with gusto before any of the stew leaked out. "No matter how many times I say it, no one listens." She sat herself down and shook her head.

It grew quiet in the room. The only sound was Stoick eating.

Hiccup was the first to break the silence. "Dad, what are you doing here?" He asked while getting into another chair.

Stoick lifted his head from the bowl, his whole torso was practically leaning over the table to get closer to the bowl, he wiped his mouth and looked at Ingrid. "Oh yes, I need to talk to you about some business…" He sat up in his seat and looked serious despite the broth in his beard and mustache.

"I knew this would come up sooner or later." Ingrid also straightened up.

Then both of the adults looked at their respective children. At the same time, they spoke. "In private."

Although I was confused as to why they wanted to talk in private, I was the first to stand up. I picked up my bowl and went into the kitchen to wash it. I came back to stand in the doorway. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You can finish up your chores for today." Ingrid provided.

"Hiccup will help you complete it in half the time you would usually take. Gobber won't be needing you today, Hiccup. He's working on a personal project of mine that I don't want you to know about." Stoick added.

Hiccup was about to speak up, but Ingrid spoke before him. "Before anything, get dressed Astrid."

"Fine." I wasn't looking forward to my chores, I just asked to be polite, I didn't actually want to do anything besides going out on a flight with Spike. Before I walked away, Mom played a cruel joke.

"Why don't you go upstairs too, Hiccup. Sometimes, Astrid needs help retying her bindings. She always has trouble with tying the around the chest and completing with the final fastening on her back."

I stopped cold in my tracks. I slowly turned around to my Mom giggling along with a chuckling Stoick. Why was he laughing? I turned and saw that Hiccup looked ready to faint from lack of blood circulation.

"Yes, Hiccup is good with his hands. Steady ones he's got there." Stoick joked and joined in on the howling Ingrid was producing. Hiccup faltered a little, but quickly composed himself when I started laughing at his weak knees. Hiccup frowned and then smirked. He leaned in next to my ear and whispered. "What are we waiting for?"

My ears heated up and Hiccup let out a satisfying grin as if he won. Then a plot of revenge came to me.

I grabbed Hiccup's hand and dragged him down the hall, up the stairs, and into my room. I threw him onto my bed and relished his confused look. Payback time. I thought as I lowered my eyelids and looked at Hiccup seductively. Hiccup's eyes widened. "I'm going to have to get new bindings… Close your eyes…" I pulled a linkage from my waist slightly. Hiccup blushed deeply. "Close your eyes, Hiccup. And don't peek until I tell you to. Okay?"

Hiccup quickly shut his eyes. He flinched when he heard me walk up to him slowly. But I was walking towards my bed, I was walking for the object above my nightstand. I also picked up some old bindings. I retrieved it and walked back to the door. I locked it and whispered lowly. "No peeking, Hiccup." Hiccup went as far as to covering his eyes with his hands. I threw the old bindings into his lap from across the room. He winced and even had the gall to smile. I hefted the object over my shoulder and thought about it. I'm a little out of practice… I thought as I looked at Hiccup. One of his free hands was feeling my old bindings. I rolled my eyes. Oh well… I wound my arm back and took aim.

CRACK!

"ASTRID!"

I threw my axe. It embedded itself inches away from Hiccup's groan area. Hiccup shot up to the roof of my room. He clung desperately to one of the beams. "Are you crazy?" He shouted.

I looked up at him. How did he get up there? I wondered, then I walked over to my bed to wrench my axe out of the bed frame. Then I glared back at him. "That's for being a perverted horndog. And this…" I threw my axe at the opposite beam Hiccup was holding on to. It spooked him enough to let go and crash onto my floor. "That's for being a smart ass." I stood over him, then I stomped and my axe fell into my hands. "Out. I have to get dressed. And no, I don't need your help." I said coldly, holding the axe on my shoulder.

Hiccup got himself up and grumbled to himself, walking to the door. I stopped him before when he opened the door. "Wait Hiccup." I called, opening my closet.

He stopped and turned around. "Yea?"

"I'll agree to forget about today if you do too. I just want to get the chores done and go out for a flight with Spike." It was the truth, I was tired and the day was only half over. I just wanted the day to be over with and end with a relaxing flight on Spike.

"Same here." Hiccup agreed.

I nodded and went back to taking my clothes down from the closet.

"And Astrid?"

I looked over my shoulder.

"I really am sorry. If there's anything I can do… Tell me." Hiccup said sincerely.

I nodded. "For now, you can start by cleaning out the chicken coop, I hate doing that."

"Ok. I'll see you outside." Hiccup said before closing the door and heading downstairs.

I didn't unwrap until I heard the back door slam. Then I let a smile grace my lips, but quickly frowned. I'm still mad at him…

OooOooO

Hiccup the Hero

After I closed Astrid's door and released the breath I was holding. I reminded myself to never play that card again. Especially in her own house, surrounded by all her weapons. I shook my head and went downstairs, towards the dining room where my Dad and Ms. Hofferson were still talking in hushed voices. I hoped I could catch a bit of their conversation, but it seemed as soon as I stepped off of the last step of the stairs, they stopped talking. What do they gave, the hearing of a dragon? I walked down the hall and stood in the doorway.

Their expressions were amused. I ignored it and asked where the backdoor to the backyard was. Ingrid covered her quivering mouth and pointed to the door right next to the stove. Dad let out a stifled snicker. I walked past them and opened the door. As I stepped outside, I heard Dad say something about a quick round.

Now in the backyard, I located the coop and began plucking the hens out. Then I grabbed the scrapper and bucket that were right beside the coop.

After putting the hens back and locking the door, I looked around to see what else had to be done. I saw the fence around the backyard needed to be straighten and was also missing a few boards, so I got to work. I went into, what seemed to be their shed, and got the right tools out.

Done. I wasn't exactly looking forward to doing all of Astrid's chores for her, but it might cool her down so she might actually forgive me. Especially after almost taking my manhood with her axe. But I guess I deserved that. I was being a "smart ass". I thought while looking around the yard for more work. Finding that there was nothing left to do, I headed back inside. Dad and Ms. Hofferson were no longer talking at the dining room table. I thought they left while I was outside, but laughter came from the living room. They must've moved their conversation. I thought about going in there to ask what Astrid would usually do next for her chores, but walking further inside I saw something to keep me busy.

I looked to the floors and noticed some scraps. I remembered the broom and dustpan were in the pantry and quickly got them out and proceeded to sweep. It wasn't Dad just teasing me, I actually was good with my hands. And I usually wanted to do chores. I didn't find them to be a bother. Being a clean freak was my nature.

I was almost done when I heard Astrid's door slam upstairs, signaling that she had finally gotten dressed. Then stomping down the stairs. I hurried and finished up the kitchen. Astrid walked in when I stored the broom away into the closet and closed the door.

She blinked. "What are you doing inside? I said to start with the chicken coop."

"I already did. I also fixed the fence, swept the dining room floor, and the kitchen floor. What's next?"

Astrid looked at me skeptically, then walked past me to the backdoor. She opened it to check if I was telling the truth. When she got back in, she nodded her head looking down onto the swept floors. "Wow, thanks Hiccup. You pretty much did all my chores for today." She smiled at me. "Just don't tell my Mom that, okay? She'd probably find me more work to do."

"You're welcome." I leaned onto the counter. "Am I forgiven now?" I grinned.

"Yea, yea." She playfully glared at me. "For now. And if you'll excuse me, I have to take a freezing bath. Courtesy of you throwing my breakfast on me and sweating all day hunting you down." Astrid's shoulder's slumped. Then she began to walk past me to her room where she would grab her towel.

I was glad that Astrid forgave me, but I felt a little bad that she said she had to take a cold bath. That's when the bright idea came to me.

"Hey, Astrid?"

Astrid turned around and raised a eyebrow. "Hmm?"

"If you want… You can join me… I was going to go to the Hot Springs to take a bath. My Dad being the Chief let's me take a bath anytime I want. I can bring guests?" It's the first time actually asking Astrid out, and to the Hot Springs no less. Give me a break.

Astrid's eyes widened as if I had the audacity to ask her to take a bath with me.

"I meant, you know in separate baths! Or I could w-wait outside until you're done-"

Astrid interrupted me by pulling me by my arm down the hallway. "I'll wash your back, I don't care! Let me just ask my Mom." She said rushing the both of us into the living room where our parents were talking and drinking tea. "We're going to the Hot Springs, okay?" Astrid informed them. Not even waiting for permission, Astrid slammed open the front door. I could've sworn I heard Ingrid say something about 'steamy' date, then a bark of laughter from Dad.

I was practically sprinting to catch up with Astrid's death grip on my wrist.

"Astrid! Please! Let go of my hand." We were half was to the Springs, but if we went any further like this, my hand would fall off.

Astrid released my wrist and slowed down to a speed walk. "Sorry."

I massage it and tried to catch my breath, walking next to her. By now it the day turned to evening, with a gentle breeze. A chill in the wind made Astrid put her arms around herself. Probably because she always wore a short sleeved shirt all the time. My curiosity spiked.

"Why do you only wear short-sleeved shirts all the time?" I asked plainly.

Astrid looked at me and raised her eyebrow, but answered anyway. "Because I sew for the life of me. If I could, I would've made some longer sleeves."

"You could buy more clothes from the Village Tailor." I suggested.

Astrid scoffed. "I need money to do that, Hiccup. I don't have a job like you do at the forge and I refuse to ask my Mom for any." She shrugged her shoulders. "Besides, it's just clothes." Astrid wrapped her arms tighter.

Being the gentleman that I was raised to be, I took off my vest and offered it to her. Astrid took it gratefully and draped it over her shoulders. "Thanks. Anymore questions about my fashion?" Astrid laughed lightly.

"Last one, but don't kill me." I put my hands up.

"No promises…" Astrid warned playfully and smirked. "I'm kidding. I still need you alive to get into the Hot Springs." She punched me on the arm lighter than she usually did.

"Why were you wearing only your bindings?" I asked, walking a little farther away from Astrid's striking distance. But Astrid didn't even skip a beat and kept walking casually.

"Because I thought my Mom was the only one in the house. I thought you were going to hide in that tent all day." Astrid said, then slowed down to my pace. "Wait a second…" She stopped the both of us and looked directly at me. "Where were you when I first came into the dining room? You weren't in the kitchen with my Mom…"

My face paling most likely gave it away, because I didn't say anything but Astrid seemed to figure it out. Moments from getting throttled, someone walked up to us and saved me.

"What? Are you guys on a date or something?"

Both of us turned to see Ruffnut Thorston, munching on mutton from the Mead Hall. She repeated her question. "So are you or are you not?" She asked, then took another big bite out of her turkey leg. Ruffnut wiped her mouth with her arm and put it on her hip waiting for an answer.

Astrid was the first to talk. "No, Ruffnut. I'll tell you tomorrow." She pulled me by my wrist again and excused us from the conversation. I looked back to see if Ruffnut would get mad and run after us, instead she shrugged and continued walking in the opposite direction we were. But not before shouting over her shoulder.

"I want all the details, even the juicy naughty ones!" Ruffnut yelled. Then sashayed away, mutton in hand.

Astrid smiled and rolled her eyes.

I got a little worried and laughed nervously. "You're not really going to tell her about today, are you?"

Astrid looked up at me and smiled, not saying a word.

I was about to ask again, but we finally got to the Hot Springs. The gateskeeper, Marge, was as old as the Elder and didn't take any nonsense. If someone tried to get one by her, due to her age, they would get a swift skill smack from the towel as her weapon. She never forgot a face and knew if they took their Hot Springs bath already for the month.

As we walked up to her, Marge smiled up at me from her short stool. Marge, like the Elder were the only ones nice to me through the years. Always pinching my cheeks to see if they're dirty, then shoo me to take a bath my a caring smile.

"Hello, Hiccup. Come on." Marge wiggled her finger for me to bend over so she could inspect my face. Pinching softly, she deemed me needing a bath and opened the gate for me to enter. "Promise you'll stop growing into a tree, alright? I can't put you into my lap anymore for a closer look anymore." Marge chuckled.

"I will. Thanks, Marge." I walked through the gates by stopped when I heard Astrid protest.

"What was that for?" Astrid said rubbing her backside.

Marge put her hands in her lap and addressed Astrid sternly. "Astrid Hofferson, you've already taken your hot bath for this month. If you're trying to pull the wool over my eyes, it won't work." The gates were closed in Astrid's face. She said wrapping the towel up for another smack.

I walked up quickly. "Sorry, Marge. Astrid is my guest." I apologized.

Marge didn't budge. She looked up Astrid over, silently judging. "She's your guest for the evening?"

I nodded and saw that Astrid was close to going from irritated to annoyed. She started tapping her foot impatiently. A tell-tale sign for me to defuse the situation quickly. "Yes."

Marge stared directly at Astrid. The stare down lasted for about 5 eternal seconds, then Marge folded her towel and placed it in her lap. "Very well…" She opened the gates a crack. "But." She held the gate. "Don't take advantage of Hiccup's kindness. He's a good boy, but naïve and gullible. I'd better not hear anything about you breaking his heart." Marge said with finality and swung the gates open fully.

Astrid walked in and pushed past me. I frowned at Marge. There goes her happy attitude…

"What? Can't blame me for caring about my little Hiccup." Marge said. "Now hurry up and take your bath. You're dirty and sweaty." Marge said before turning back around in her stool.

Leaving it at that, I walked deeper into the stone surrounding bath house. I found the changing cave and undressed. I wrapped the towel around my waist and left to find the baths. As soon as I walked into the Men's area, I forgot crucial information. The Men's bathing area was crowded by all the male members of the council, there was no room if you didn't want to get too touchy with another man. But I was worried about that, I was worried that if the councilmen are in here, the Women's bath must be filled with councilwomen. The only baths that would be empty are the Family baths. I groaned and left the Men's baths. I trudged to the Family area.

Each area was divided by tall heavy rocks stacked up and sealed by cement for privacy. If anyone tried to climb the walls, they would be expended from the Hot Springs and would have to attend a embarrassing meeting with the Chief, explaining why you would climb the wall. The Elder would then force you to speak a public apology to the whole Village of Berk on Sunday, when the Mead Hall was at it's peak of bustling Vikings.

I hoped I could get to the entrance of the Family baths first so I could explain that I would wait until Astrid was done to take my own bath. Unfortunately, the both of us arrived at the same time.

Astrid sighed and looked me over. "Gods, Hiccup. You need to eat more meat." She was referring to my skinny build. What can I say? I was picky about what I eat, going as far as eating my chicken and meats with a fork and knife.

This was the second time I've seen Astrid in just her towel, but this time was better. I wasn't running for my life. She undid her braids and her hair fell to her shoulders. The towel she brought from home wrapped around her figure tightly, ending just barely at her thighs. Her slender legs and arms didn't have an ounce of fat on them. Her chest and backside were perky. The years of training obviously paid off. I struggle to keep my eyes from wandering.

"Hey, Astrid?"

"What?" She started pulling her hair and tying it into a bun so it wouldn't get wet taking her bath. With her arms working on the back of her head, her chest came forward, invitingly.

Calm down, Hiccup. You only have a towel on. I reminded myself. "S-sorry about earlier. Marge just cares for me sometimes." I sat down on a bench and looked up to her. "I'll wait out here until you're done." I leaned forward and waited for her to go inside to bathe. Trying to hide my new development.

But Astrid didn't budge. "Forget about it. I'll go in first and then you can come in." Astrid said, turning to pull the curtain to enter. "I'll call you when I'm in.

I was a little confused. "I can go in too?"

Astrid faced me and put her hand on her hip. "Why? Am I that hideous to bathe with?" She asked and narrowed her eyes.

"No! No, it's just… I can wait if you want." Right now in my mind, my inner demon was beating down my good conscience to the ground. I had to admit, I was rooting for the demon to win…

"Listen, I'll just call you when I'm in. Stop making this so difficult." Astrid rolled her eyes and went in.

I relaxed onto the wall behind the bench. I was bent over forward for a reason. But now that Astrid went into the bath, I reclined. Big mistake.

"Hey, where's the soap?" Astrid poked her head through the curtain.

I front flipped and landed on my face, trying to hide the tent in my towel. I quickly sat up and turned my back to Astrid. "It's on the shelf next to the entrance."

Astrid didn't even score me on my gymnastics routine, she just popped her head back in to check. "How could I miss that? Thanks." I heard from the other side of the curtain.

I didn't move an inch until I heard a splash. I drooped my shoulders, bowed my head down, and tried to regulate my breathing after holding it for so long. Then I almost jumped over the towering stone wall when Astrid called for me to enter. I just hope a hot bath will relax my nerves… I thought, getting up and pulling away the curtain.

Since it was Council's Relaxation Day, the massive Family area was closed for the day. The Family area was bigger than the Men and Women's baths because the combined numbers of bathers of children, mothers and fathers. A huge debate over mothers taking their sons to the Women's bathhouse forced the council to build the Family baths.

When I walked through, Astrid was on the other side of the pool, laying her head back against the edge. Her eyes were closed until she heard my steps on the cold stone floors. "Come on in, the water's amazing…" Astrid said with a small smile, then closed her eyes.

I stood there, suddenly extremely uncomfortable.

Astrid peeked one eye open. "What are you waiting for?"

"Can I have your word that you'll keep your eyes closed?" I was glad that the steam hid my red face.

"Nope. Now get in already." She said calmly, ignoring my discomfort of undressing in front of her. Closing her eyes, I still stood there.

I was willing to stand there until Astrid was completely done with her bath, but the floor was freezing and it was getting to me. I sighed in defeat and loosened my towel. It dropped to the floor and I walked over to sit down on the edge, then I started unclasping my prosthetic. I was too anxious about getting in before Astrid saw me, so I fumbled with the straps, only hindering the usually short process. Finally, I got the metal limb off and I eased myself into the pool, instantly feeling better. Astrid was right, this feels 'amazing'.

I sunk down and let the water do it's magic. I submerged my head until only my eyes were visible. Whenever I came here, I would spend a few precious moments relaxing before washing up.

"You're bigger than I thought you would be, Hiccup." Astrid giggled from across the bath. If only Astrid knew her teasing would bring explosive results.

I, on the other hand, accidentally snorted water up my nose in surprise. I immediately jumped and coughed out the water, trying desperately to disburden the water from my lungs. Barely hearing Astrid laugh in my expense, I ignored her and continued to sputter and wheeze. A few seconds later, I breathed in and out. Sinking back into the water and closing my eyes, getting my breathing back under control. Now calmed down, I opened my eyes to glare at Astrid for her earlier comment.

I rubbed my eyes and was met face to face with Astrid, whom probably swam over to see if I drowned or not. All the blood in my body rushed to my face. Astrid was in front of me… In the pool… Commando-style…

"Are you okay, I didn't know you were going to explode like that. I was only joking." Astrid apologized, oblivious to the fact that she was invading my space. While I was doing everything in my power to remain calm, Astrid studied my face to see why I was furiously blushing. I prayed to the Gods she wouldn't come any closer to further investigate.

"Yep!" I said to loudly.

Astrid didn't seem convinced and inched closer. "Are you sure? You were coughing for awhile."

"Fine! I'm good. I'm okay-dokey. Nothing wrong. You can proceed with your bath, knowing that I didn't drown." By now I was babbling nonsense.

"Ok, I'm almost done. I just have to soap up and rinse." Astrid said, diving in to swim back to her spot. Gods, I could've sworn I saw a flash of her butt… After a few seconds,Astrid resurfaced and I was surprised to see her blushing from here. "Hiccup, did you…? You wouldn't happen to be blind in all this fog, right?"

"No, I can see fine. Why-" I cut myself off. Wrong answer. "I mean, no! I can't really see you right now… Like if you were to throw something at me, I wouldn't be able to catch it?" Lame. That was the worst lie I have I thought of. I thought, putting on an innocent face in case Astrid could see me.

Astrid saw through my poker face and turned a darker shade of red. "I swear, I you tell anyone… I'll kill you right here and now." She warned lowly.

"Yes, ma'am." I stretched over and grabbed my soap to start scrubbing, anything besides facing Astrid.

Astrid did the same, but once again forgot that I was also here. She squeaked and cover her chest. Steam was practically coming out of her ears.

I held my hand over my nose to stop any blood from dripping into the pool. "What happened? You ok, Astrid?" I coyly asked, stifling a chuckle.

Astrid her a hint of my laugh and glowered at me. "Just because I didn't bring my axe, doesn't mean I can't murder you, Hiccup. I never leave the house unarmed." Astrid bit back weakly.

"You're bigger than I thought you would be, Astrid." I snorted back, giving her a taste of her own medicine. I was almost done, I could quickly jump out and run to the changing room if Astrid retaliated. And where does she keep the extra weapons…? I thought, then quickly covered my nose. If I wasn't too careful, I would accidentally make the Family baths a assassin scene with all the blood coming out of my nose.

"Shut. Up." Astrid hissed, turning her back to me. She got her soap and started scrubbing her arms. "If you're done, kindly take your skinny smart ass and change. I'll be out in a few minutes. I need time to think of methods to castrate you in your sleep…" Her voice back to normal, dripping with venom.

And on that threat, I climbed out, not caring if Astrid saw me or not, and got my leg. Clasping it back on, I bolted for the changing rooms like an angry goddess was chasing after me to instill the fear of Gods into me.

I got to the changing rooms and rubbed myself down dry. I threw my clothes on and ran out to the gates. I opened them and sat myself down to wait for Astrid to come out so I could walk her home.

Marge woke up and rubbed her eyes. "Hiccup, that you?" She yawned and stretched her lanky arms, a series of unpleasant sounding pops and cracks followed. "Alright, come here. Let me look at ya."

I crawled over to where Marge's stool was. My legs were burning.

Marge finished inspecting me and gave me a strange look. "I know I told you to clean yourself, but not to the point of having your face red from excessive rubbing." She pinched my cheek and I winced. "Yep, ya look like a pruny sunburned fool that stayed in the baths for too long." She stated. Then she got up from her stool and hobbled into the gatekeeper's hut nearby. When she came back, she was carrying a bucket. Sitting herself back onto her stool, she dipped her infamous towel in and wrung it. "Put this on your shoulders. It'll ease the pain." She ordered gently.

I took it and did what I was told. I instantly felt better. "Thanks, Marge."

She smiled down at me. "Anything for my little Hiccup."

I gave her a crooked grin. But our happy moment didn't last long. The gate creaked open and Astrid strode out with her towel draped on her shoulder. "I'm done. Let's go."

I got up to go, but Marge put a hand to my shoulder. "Now, now. I think you can thank Hiccup better than that, Hofferson." Marge said, looking at Astrid sternly.

Astrid narrowed her eyes. "Fine. Thank you, soon to be, Chief Hiccup." She said, then stared back at Marge.

The two of them stayed like that until I decided to end it before things got out of hand.

Marge had already released me and I folded up her towel, giving it back to her. "Thanks, Marge. And have I hope you have a good night." I said with a genuine smile.

That seemed to calm Marge down enough to end the stare down. She looked up to my and gestured for me to come down to her level. "Be careful of that one, Hiccup. She might have a nice face, but she also has a mean streak in her to boot." Marge said into my ear, not even trying to whisper discretely.

I nodded and said 'good night' again. Then I walked a fuming Astrid back to her house.

"I can't believe her! Who does she thinks she is? She's just a gatekeeper!" Astrid ranted to her sole audience.

"She just cares about me-"

"Yea, I know. She 'cares about you', but that doesn't mean she can treat me like I'm air headed blonde groupie just dating you for the fame." Astrid countered.

"Dating?" My heart soared, but Astrid shot it down.

"You know what I mean, Hiccup." She said, crossing her arms.

Actually, I don't… And it's killing me. I thought to myself. The rest was conversation was one-sided and we finally got to the house. The both of us walked up the porch steps, but Astrid turned around and stood in front of the door. "Thanks for inviting me, Hiccup. I needed a hot bath after the crazy day I've had." Then she opened her door and closed it in my face.

Really? Even I could hear Dad talking from inside. I shook my head and opened the door. I walked in and caught Astrid as she retreated up the stairs to her room for the night. "Night, Astrid."

She stopped mid-step and turned around, looking at me confused. "Why are you still here?" She asked rudely.

"Astrid!" Ingrid called from the living room. "Stop being rude and bring Hiccup into the living room. Stoick has a request for the both of you!" She unnecessarily yelled. The living room was right next to the stairs and Astrid was only on the third step.

Astrid groaned and stomped back down. I followed a few careful paces behind her. We entered the parlor room where Ingrid and Dad were standing, waiting for us. "Yes, Mother-Dearest?" Astrid retorted with a hand to her hip.

Stoick chuckled at Astrid's attitude and grinned at Ingrid as if congratulating her on raising Astrid properly.

Ingrid glared at Stoick, but otherwise ignored his smug grin. "You had something to ask them, Stoick?" Ingrid said calmly, but her face showed malice.

Stoick cleared his throat awkwardly and addressed Astrid and I. "Right. For tomorrow, I've cleared both of your days. Starting tomorrow, you will be up on the first rays of sunlight and you will begin fixing the damaged roof of my house. The reasons for the damages are unexplained…" He stared at me sternly before continuing. "But nonetheless, you have been chosen to repair the ceiling over Hiccup's room. The Village Carpenter is far too busy to be able to fit it into her schedule." Stoick stated.

Astrid had the utmost respect for Stoick, but repairing a whole ceiling would take all day. "Can't you just get Hiccup to do it? You did say he was good with his hands."

I turned my head and stared at Astrid in disbelief. "I'm standing right here, you know." I felt betrayed.

"And?" Astrid waved me off.

"Do you expect me to fix a roof all by myself? You're the one that made Toothless blow it apart!" I accused her.

"Did not. Toothless did that on his own accord!" Astrid bit back.

"And I guess he overwhelmed you and took you captive while flying after me?" I asked skeptically. "Excuse me if I call BS…" I crossed my arms and looked away from her.

"Oh, Hel no! You can not blame all of that on me! Who was the one that ran in and decorated me with my own breakfast? Uh, you did!" Astrid pointed a finger in my face.

I swatted it away. "I have every right to blame you. It all started with your greedy ass shoving me off my own bed!" I put my hands over my head. "Oh yeah, it's out there! I said it!"

During our verbal duel, Ingrid and Dad watched in amusement. Astrid and I probably looked like an old married couple. Ingrid was the first to act. She knew if this continued, Astrid would surely start swing her axe.

Ingrid walked up and tugged on her daughter's braid, ceasing the argument between the two lovebirds. Dad also intervened by picking me up from the back of my collar.

"Ah!" Astrid and I yelled at our captors.

"That'll be enough of that from the both of you." Ingrid said, releasing Astrid. "Stoick wasn't finished talking yet. So, sit on the couch and listen up." She directed Astrid to the couch.

Astrid sat down with a huff.

Dad threw me onto the couch right next to her. I turned my back to Astrid and glared at Dad.

He shrugged it off. "Now onto the matters of tonight…" He looked at Ingrid as if asking permission. Ingrid nodded in agreement. "Like always, Berk is known to be very chilling at night. With the sizable hole in the roof of our house creating a draft." I knew where this was going…

"Anyway, Ingrid has been generous enough to let us stay for the night. Hiccup, you will sleep in Astrid's room."

"Hel no!" Astrid and I said simultaneously.

OooOooO

Tuffnut

Stupid wench. Making me clean the stables all day. Stupid dragons for not holding their fish. I grumbled as I shuffled back to my house. My hands still had blisters from handling the shovel crudely. I just go back from taking a freezing bath. The cold evening weather didn't help any. Finally getting to my house, I walked up the steps and opened the door gently. Even though my mood was foul, slamming the door open wouldn't get me nothing but a earful from Mom.

I went down the hall and opened the door to my room, hoping Ruffnut went and tripped on a loose floorboard at the docks. She's been heading over there everyday now for some reason and always comes home with a skip to her steps.

Fortunately she wasn't in our shared room. I sighed in relief, I could deal with her nagging of my lingering smell right now. I jumped into my bed and kicked off my boots. I melted into my bed and let strained arms relax. It wasn't even five seconds of peace when Ruffnut announce that she's home. I flipped my pillow over my head. Maybe if she thought I was asleep she wouldn't bother me.

Ruffnut knocked once and entered. I heard her rummage through her drawers then I heard the springs recoil. I thought I was in the clear, but she threw one of her boots at my ribs. "Gah! What was that for?" I sat up and rubbed my side, accompanied by a glare towards my twin.

"I wanted to see if you were awake." She said with her trademark wicked grin.

Stupid cow. I muttered some curses below my breath. I received the other pair of her boots to the head.

"Excuse me, what was that?" She asked, holding her shield, ready to throw next.

"Nothing, I didn't say anything." I put up my hands. I didn't need anymore bruises.

"That's what I thought." She said, then began to peel off her leggings. "Why aren't you with your boyfriend?"

"For the last time, Snotlout and I and manly best friends!" I barked back.

Ruffnut simply laughed. She also knew how to get under my skin. "Besides, shouldn't you be going lesbo with Astrid? Sorry, I meant a threesome with Astrid and your lover, Fishlegs." Ruffnut wasn't only one that could be annoying. I was about to crack another one, instead I was introduced face to face with Ruffnut's foot. Blood poured out of my nose all over my sheets. "Hurt, I am definitely hurt!" I fell off my bed. Now on the floor, Ruffnut tossed her shield to my stomach. I lurched forward. "Ow, ow, ow…" I rocked myself back and forth. Ruffnut stood up and used my stomach as a bridge to get across the room to her closet. Then she stepped on my stomach again to jump into her bed.

"For your information, Astrid is on a date with Hiccup. And you're a raging moron." She picked up her shield and put it back on her nightstand.

I stopped screaming. What? I clawed myself back onto my bed and laid down. "Hiccup finally grew a pair?" I said, putting my boots back on. Snotlout will get a kick out of this! I thought grinning.

Ruffnutt rolled her eyes. "Yes, which is more than I can say for you." She said, taking apart her braids.

"Ha ha." I deadpanned. "Tell Mom I'm going out. I'll be back before curfew." I wiped the blood of my lip. I got up and was about to open the door to leave.

"Well, I don't know… Last time you said that, you came up crying that Snotlout popped your cherry…" Ruffnut snorted and got under her covers.

"Just do it or else I'll tell Mom you knocked up Fishlegs." I slammed the door just in time to escape getting stabbed by Ruffnut's sword. The blade went through as if the door was paper. I massaged my chest where the sword would've impaled me. I bolted when the sword slid out of the door and the sound of Ruffnut putting her boots back on.

As soon as I was a safe distance away, I slowed down to a jog. I went to the usual spot Snotlout hangs out to pick up the ladies. I just spotted him getting slapped by a angry girl. When I walked up to him, his face went from sour to casual cool.

He put his hands behind his head and leaned back onto a tree behind him. "I told her to not hate the player, but to hate the game. You know?" He held out his knuckles for our usual pound.

After I greeted him, I gave him the hilarious news. "Hey, did you hear? Useless got a date with Astrid." I started laughing.

Instead of laughing with me, Snotlout's face turned red with anger. "What?"

I got a little nervous. "Ruffnut said she saw them heading towards the Springs as if they were on a date or something."

Snotlout wasn't satisfied with my answer, he grabbed me by my collar. "What else?"

"Nothing… I swear!" Snotlout's grip tightened. "I'm serious. Other than that, I saw Hiccup hanging out with Astrid's mother earlier this afternoon. Let go!" I pulled away from Snotlout.

Snotlout stood there, contemplating the details I just gave him. Then his face light up. He walked up to me and patted my arm. "Sorry 'bout that. I thought you were kidding with me." He said chuckling.

I kept a wary eye on him.

"But hey, how about we pay Useless a visit tomorrow. Give him a few tips about dealing with the ladies." Snotlout nudged me with his elbow.

It took me a few seconds until it clicked. I grinned. "Yea."

Snotlout laughed. "You had me for a second there. Anyway, let's go to the Mead Hall. I'm starving." He said, then walked off in the direction of the Mead Hall. I followed quickly after him, suddenly realizing I haven't eaten since breakfast.

When I caught up to him, I grew an ear-splitting smile. Useless won't know what hit him…

OooOooO

Stoick

"Alright, it's agreed. We'll tell them in three days. Give them some time to relax and bond." I said, reclining into the couch cushions.

Across from me, Ingrid nodded. Then she got up to take the empty tea cup and kettles into the kitchen to wash. When she got back she relaxed into her huge chair.

For the moment, both the seasoned Vikings were gathering their thoughts in silence. Ingrid was the first to break the silence. "Hey, Stoick?"

I grunted in response, but otherwise kept my eyes closed.

"How do you think their date is going?" Ingrid asked calmly.

I opened my eyes to see Ingrid with a mischievous grin on her face. I chuckled. "Oh, I don't know. Astrid might be washing Hiccup's back or something."

Ingrid laughed outright. "Hel would freeze over before something like that would happen."

I joined in. "I suppose, but you never know. Hiccup is known for accomplishing the impossible." I referred to Hiccup changing the three hundred year-old traditions of Berk.

Ingrid nodded knowingly. "Yes, he's brought peace to Berk. With no more fear of dragon's raiding in the middle of the night, pillaging and burning down everything in sight, the dark cloud has been lifted."

"Preach it, Ingrid." I remarked, laughing. Only to get a rag thrown to my face. I lifted away from my face and opened my eyes to see Ingrid rolling hers.

"Now I know where Hiccup gets his smart tongue from." She said, shaking her head.

"I just wish he got my build too." I said, flexing my barrel arms.

Ingrid smiled, but broke into giggles when I started wiggling my eyebrows. "Gods, you're worse than Archibald when he…" She put her hand to her quivering mouth. A single tear came down.

The air turned tense. I remembered the day all too well.

I had Gunnar, the Captain of our fleet, prepare the ships for another raid to find the cursed Dragon's Nest. Gobber and I were loading supplies onto a ship, making small talk.

"Do you think he'll show?" Gobber asked, heaving a few hammers over his shoulder.

"I don't know and I don't care. I just want to kill some dragons to remind them of their place." I hurled five bags of potatoes over onto the ship.

Gobber sighed and ended the conversation. He hated when his friend was like this. He was a completely different man.

The atmosphere in the docks was dense with grieving. Last night, a trio of Nightmares came out of no where and burned down a few buildings, only two of them left alive. I gutted the other one for attacking my home with Hiccup still inside. It's remains were unrecognizable.

The victim's families demanded blood from the dragons, clouded by my emotions I agreed and started recruiting some of our top warriors without speaking to the council or the Elder.

I ground my teeth. I remember going to the forgery to see how Hiccup was doing. He was asleep, but kept muttering for his Mother to protect him. I could do nothing but hold onto him for the remainder of the night. It was by Loki's damned hand for a Nightmare to take Valhallarama's life in front of Hiccup and terrorize him in the middle of the night years later. That's why if I came across any Nightmares along the way, I would be the first to have it's head. I hated them with passion. I growled as I threw another sack of potatoes overboard.

"I hope I'm not too late to join the raid, Stoick."

I looked over to see Archibald Hofferson, my friendly rival, packed and holding his famous axe over his shoulder. It wasn't like I was nervous in any way, but Archibald coming along eased some of my nerves. Like Gobber, I could trust him with my life, to watch my back.

I dropped my load and clasped forearms with him. "Glad to have you along for the ride, Archibald."

"I can't have you defeating more dragons than me now. Last time I check, I'm ahead of you, like always." Archibald threw is baggage at me, I caught it and shook my head.

"That might be, but I made Chiefdom." I threw his pack back at him. "Now I order you to get your smartass onboard, we shove off in a few minutes" I commanded, in mock-sternness.

Archibald smirked. "True, but who has the awesome axe." He made a show of swinging his axe skillfully. "Me. Enjoy your title, Stoick." He said, playfully pushing me when I bent over to get a crate.

I straighten myself and sent a glare his way. "Always have to get the last word, huh?"

Archibald climbed up the plank to the ship. "Yes sir." He saluted. "Will that be all, sir?"

I gave him the one-fingered salute. Archibald laughed and continued walking. I kept it up until I couldn't see him anymore or hear him laughing. I put my hand down when I got a smack to the back of my head. I caught my helmet just in time before it was lost in the dock's waters. I turned to see Ingrid Hofferson. She must be here to see Archibald off.

"I swear. The both of you are like children."

"He started it…" I said, placing my helmet correctly on my head.

"And I'm always the one to end it…" I noticed the decrease in her voice. I faced her. She was on the brink of tears. "Stoick… Please bring Archibald back… I don't know what I would do if I lost him, Astrid would be…" Her shoulders started racking.

I was about to console her, but Archibald came up from behind me and nodded his head. "I'll be up in a minute." He said, lowly.

I patted his arm. "Take your time." Then I got onboard.

Five minutes later, Archibald came on with a straight face. I thought about telling him to back to his family, but I knew him all too well to know he wouldn't. I signaled for Gunnar to raise the sails. And we were off.

XxXxX

It's been a few weeks, and we've just now spotted an island. I had Gunnar lower the anchors. I waved to the one of the sailors to flag the rest of the fleet to halt too. I got an telescope out and investigated the shoreline for any inhabitants. I was about to deem it a outcast island, but then I saw a few Terrors fishing on the shoreline. I closed my scope. "Lower the small boats! Get your weapons! We're going to avenge our lost, come on!"

The Vikings and sailors cheered and prepared to set sail to the island. "HOO-HAA!"

I grabbed my father's, Sigurd the Volsung, sword and started dividing the groups.

First, Archibald would be captain of the scouting group. Second, Gobber will command the ship while we were gone, just in case some dragons attacked. And lastly, I would lead the fighters. Everyone knew their job and wished each other luck. We were off.

XxXxX

It was total chaos. The first thing we knew, the Terrors quickly scampered off into the forest, and all Hel broke loose. A dozen Zipplebacks attacked the scouts, our warriors couldn't help because we had out hands full. Two massive Timberjacks exploded out of the forest and circled us from the sky, breathing fire upon the trees that they destroyed and it rained crude fiery arrows down on us. I ordered everyone to hold their shields to the air just in time before anyone got skewered. When the endless shower finally ceased, I called for the attack to begin. Our own archers, from the scouting group, took aim and overwhelmed the Timberjacks enough to force them to land, their wings riddled with holes.

If I thought we had the upper hand, I was terribly mistaken. The Timberjacks sliced and cut down my group faster than we could injure them. Even I was starting to break a sweat. I only had short instances to check on the scout and the sailor's condition.

Back on the ship, Gobber managed to fend off the Deadly Nadders that came out of nowhere, But I couldn't relax yet. I still had to see how the scouts were faring against the Zipplebacks.

"GAH!" I yelled. My stare lingered for a second to long, a Timberjack too advantge and struck me down. It's huge claws immobilized me. I didn't have any cuts or wounds, but if I stayed like this for too long, I would no longer have to worry about such minor injuries.

A few Vikings saw me in distress. "Stoick, I'm coming- AH!" Said Viking got decapitated by the second Timberjack. My blood boiled, but I knew I had to stay calm before I get killed and Berk would surely fall apart from the loss. I reached for my sword but the cursed beast saw this and flicked it away from my grasp. Then it looked back at me, poised to kill.

"STOICK, CATCH!" I reacted just in time to catch Archibald's axe. I parried the Timberjacks claw and sliced at the demon's stomach. The dragon fell and died instantly, when I avenged the fallen Viking, by having it's head cut off. I turned around to thank Archibald, but I couldn't find him on the beach. All I could see was his squad retreating back to their dinghy. I intercepted them and demanded to know why Archibald wasn't with them.

An archer answered, strapping his bow and arrow pack back on. "Archibald said he was going to take on the last Zippleback. And you asked, he told me to tell you 'This one will win proclaim me winner!' , then he ran off to fight." Then the archer sprinted away to help the wounded get onboard their sailboat.

I smiled and ran off into the direction I heard twin dragons hissing. I spotted Archibald dueling with the double-headed spawn with my sword. I caught up to him and jumped, knocking off some of the 'Spark' headed dragon's teeth. Now the Zippleback couldn't ignite any fire. The Zippleback was as good as dead without that ability.

Archibald dodged a claw and smirked at me. "I thought I said this one was mine. You're already Chief, why do you need anymore points?" He lunged and cut the dragon's knee, crippling it.

"I came to take back my sword, if you don't mind." I back-stepped and tossed Archibald his axe. I distracted the dragon for him to catch it by punching one of it's horns off.

Archibald caught and returned my sword to me. "Thanks, swords are too weak. I prefer axes." He wiggled his eyebrows. "If you catch my drift, Fruit Chief."

"I'm going to kick your ass when we get back to Berk. That's a promise-" I got interrupted by the Zippleback kicking my legs from under me. "Humph!" I rushed to get back on my feet to assist Archibald in the fight. I got up and tightened the grip I had on my sword. 'Demons live to fight without honor. Dirty fighting…' I thought to myself. I was about to deal another blow on the Zippleback, but the "Gas" head spewed out it's acidic fumes. In this green haze, I couldn't make out it's shape or locate Archibald. I waved my hands frantically, trying to clear the area around me.

A blow came to my side. Whatever hit me, went down too. I slashed at it.

"Watch it! I just grew my beard out!"

"What? Is that you Archibald? For Odin's sake, why are you shoving me for?"

"No, it's Loki in the flesh! Of course, it's me!" Archibald shouted, giving me a hand standing up. "You're lucky I took you down, or else you would have been their lunch!"

We stood back to back, waiting for movement to give away the dragon's location. For five minutes, the Demon played with us by snarling and making other distracting noises. But that didn't trick us.

CHINK! CHINK! CHINK!

Came from their right. Archibald reacted first. He grabbed me by my bear cape and hurled me out of the foggy area. "Archibald, what are you doing-" I was cut off because Archibald threw his axe next, with a note attached to it. I dropped my sword to catch the famous axe of my best friend. I didn't even think, I just ran back into the green gas. But it exploded into flames, incinerating all who were still inside it. The last ditch effort to win the fight. Sacrificing themselves. The very reason Zipplebacks were on the same rank of Nightmares.

I fell to my knees, too devastated to even think clearly enough to stand up. I bowed my head to honor Archibald's death. I opened my eyes to see his axe in my lap with the note still attached to it. I gently ripped it off the handle.

"You win, Stoick. As your longest rival, I will admit defeat. I am proud to call you my Chief. Live on, old friend. -Archibald Hofferson." The note read.

I hitched a breath. I've lost many men during dragon raids and hunting in my years of leading Berk as Chief. But that didn't make it any easier.

I got up and dragged my steps until I got aboard the warriors dinghy. I was as quiet as a mouse until we docked in Berk. Ingrid was waiting for her husband to arrive. She had Baara watch after Astrid. I reminded myself to watch over her in place of Archibald. He would have wanted that. It's the least I could do.

I ordered the boats to be clear and for the wounded to be escorted to the medics as first priority. Then I commanded that the sailors take the left over rations and feed them to the livestock. Captain Gunnar took it away from there. I thanked him and jumped off the ship. I should be ashamed for busying myself instead of telling Ingrid that her husband has died.

I walked off the pier and detached Archibald's axe off the sheath of my sword on my back. I took heavy steps until I reached Ingrid, my face grim with regret.

"I'm sorry, Ingrid. He died a warrior's death…"

OooOooO

I've been regretting those words for all these years. And the idea of taking Archibald away from his family, knowing damn well he had already retired from fighting. But like always, I was blinded by my anger. My fury has lead me to make drastic foolish mistakes. Going as far as temporarily disowning Hiccup.

I shook my weakness aside. "I'm sorry, Ingrid. Truly. I understand that you might've not forgiven me all these years."

Ingrid waved it off and gave a fake smile. Her mood suddenly happier than it was a few moments ago. "It's water under the bridge, Stoick. It's fine-"

"No. It should've been me. Archibald would've made a better Chief. I was the one that should've died on that beach-"

"Enough!" Ingrid interrupted, raising her voice. "Enough, let's just change the subject. All this sadness is bad for my heart." She looked up, her eyes pleading.

I nodded in agreement. "Archibald would be proud of what you and Astrid has accomplished."

Ingrid smiled, laying a hand over her heart. "And Valhallarama is smiling down on you and Hiccup."

I felt a tug at my heart strings. I smiled. "Ingrid, I have a request. I'm not asking as your Chief, I'm asking as your friend."

"You ate the last of the stew, Stoick." Ingrid laughed.

I chuckled, and shook my head. "No, no… This is about Hiccup."

I proceeded to state my request. Which Ingrid agreed to without hesitation. Hiccup obviously made a great first impression…

I was about to take my leave, but then I heard Astrid and Hiccup outside. I sat back down and waited along with Ingrid for our children to walk in. I had a request for them too.

OooOooO

End of this Chapter. Did you like it? You did? I'm glad. But please, excuse me. I have to ice my bleeding fingers. ^_^

(A/N Here's a few things I want to point out and some things you might actually be able to help both you and I better understand. This are not in order with the chapter. They're just things I remembered to input at the end of this chapter.

1.) Tuffnut mother's name means purging fire. I think…

2.) I think you noticed the word I experimented with in this chapter. The word "precocious". I've only heard this word and it's meaning. I don't know if I spelled it right though. The word I was looking for was meant to mean 'to give a short vague answer, not exactly answering the question given'. If you do know the word I'm talking about, please tell me. Appreciate it.

3.) Stoick is supposed to be a serious comic relief in my story. So far you've seen him act, well, crazy and funny as hell. That's what I designed for him for certain situations. But also in the later chapters I will right, you will not always see him as the crazy dad like you Ichigo's dad from the anime, Bleach. Instead, he will be serious and caring. Not gonna say anymore than that. Don't want to spoil it.

4.) Last one. Astrid is hot as hell and Hiccup is one lucky bastard. I probably would've been like "is this Valhalla?" too. You know you would've been too! XD

5.) Uh, Astrid's periphials means you know her area or sight. Think about Neji Hyuuga from Naruto, when he has his byukugan activated. O_O Yea, that doesn't make sense… Oh well.

6.) I sexy and I know it. So in the words of my granpa, I'll bringing it back! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle!

7.) Rosetta Stone FTW! ^_^

8.) *Snorts* I think you've noticed some choice words that were used in this chapter. XD

9.) Don't look at me like that. You know you would've been gawking too. No? Just me? Hmm, now that I think about it, if I tried that on Emily she would put more on the six o'clock news. But I guess I can do it to Astrid because she's just fictional character, right? XD

News Reporter: Tonight on Breaking News, a smexy man was killed in his home. The key-witness, Emily, was the only one on the scene. She said that the victim was writing a dirty novel about a character from How to Train Your Dragon. The character's name was Astrid Hofferson. Emily, then killed the victim, EquinoxKnight01 for his perverted stupidity. The case has been suspended due to authorities deeming Equinox worthy of his demise. In other news…

Equinox: T_T

10.) I hope you're happy with this chapter. I stayed up against my Advil cold medicine to write this. If you have any idea how hard that is, say "Equinox is DA MAN!

11.) Astrid stripping for Hiccup. Ha! Story's rated T, but recently I discovered that I'm as sheltered as a Catholic school girl. So if you look hard enough, you will find my first M rated lemon basket. Soon, after I finish the revision which is actually harder than I thought. I had to keep going back and forth.

12.) Ingrid and Stoick are the dirty joking tag-team of Berk. 'Nuff said.

13.) Either the fact that girls take forever getting dressed is true or Astrid was simply taking her sweet time. Who knows? I do. But for the safety of my health, I will say that girls taking a long time dressing is false.

14.) Yea, I would have my life flash before my eyes too if I had a scare like that. Except I could answer my German-speaking son…

15.) If you noticed that Hiccup seems like the perfect housewife, it's due to always hanging around his Mother as a boy and not engaging into the Viking fighter life-style. You didn't think Hiccup spent all day everyday at the forgery, did you? Meh, he probably did, but in this story. Hiccup cleans around the house, cooks, and bakes.

16.) Baara Throston is Ruffnut and Tuffnut's mother. From Chapter 9, it was mentioned that Bruta Thorston took care of Astrid while Ingrid grieved over the loss of Archibald Hofferson. Bruta is Ruffnut and Tuffnut's older sister. For the sake of my laziness, let's just say she was married off to someone from the Bog Buglers. Okay? Good.

17.) I wonder what could be at the docks. Or rather, whom?

18.) As you can see, Ruffnut and Tuffnut have grew up past the petty nicknames like "butt elf" and "troll", and are making inappropriate jokes and insults. Why are you looking at me like that? They said it.

19.) No I wasn't trying to make Ingrid rap or rhyme. Just a unfortunate order of words.

Final.) I hope you liked Archibald's story and character. Don't worry, this won't be his last appearance in my story.