14. Operation Bigfeet

"No class today," Susan said happily the next day, lying back on her couch after breakfast. "Now I can catch up on my reading!"

"What are you reading?" Link asked as Renee drifted over to Susan's tablet and looked at it.

"A Clash of Kings," the ghost announced.

"That sounds interesting, my dear," Cockroach said, looking up from his copy of Scientific Armenian. "Is it a history book? Perhaps about the Hundred Years War?"

"No," Susan laughed. "It's a fantasy novel. It is about war, however, I guess," she added, nodding.

"I've read all the books," Renee said. "In the next one—"

"Oh, no spoilers please!" Susan quickly interjected. "I don't want to know what's coming! I just want to relax and enjoy my book."

"Relaxation and enjoyment's cancelled, monsters!" Monger called, flying down from his presidential portrait access.

"What is it, General?" Susan asked, putting down her tablet as Renee drifted down and faded.

Monger landed on the platform and activated the command and control panel. The other monsters gathered as it rose out of the floor.

"Aliens again? Mutant Turkeys?" Link asked.

"Invasion of the Jell-O Snatchers?" Bob asked. "Because I will defend them to the deaf!"

"That's 'death,' Bob," Cockroach informed him. "For the third time, the hard of hearing are not your enemy."

"Knock it off!" Monger barked. "Operation Mission Bigfoot is about to start."

"Bigfoot?" Link asked, glancing at Susan. "You getting Giny some new sneakers?"

Susan casually let her arm drop heavily onto the living platform floor near him, deliberately missing him by mere inches. Link jumped, and Bob laughed.

"I said knock it off," Monger snarled. "Nothing to do with Ginormica's feet at all! This is about the sasquatch!"

"Really?" Susan asked. Then her eyes narrowed. "You sure this isn't a mistake, like the Yeti one?"

"One hundred and ten percent, totally legit," Monger told her with pride.

"Uh, General, if I may?" Cockroach interjected, raising his hand. "That couldn't be correct."

"I assure you, Doctor, it is," Monger said, staring at him.

"Oh, no, I'm afraid not," Cockroach said. "You can't have anything be more than a hundred percent totally legit. That means it is perfectly legit, and you can't beyond that. Of course," he added, looking thoughtful, "if your baseline is only 'moderately legit,' then I suppose you would have room to go beyond a hundred percent, but—"

"One hundred percent close your mouth," Monger snarled. "Or I will one hundred and ten percent close it for you."

Cockroach made some motions with his fingers by his jaw as if he was calculating just how far closed a hundred and ten percent would be, and then quietly shut his mouth.

"Now. if I may continue, we have reports of sasquatch incursions in Yellowstone National Park," the general told them. "Several, in fact."

"Several reports?" Bob asked.

"Several incursions," Monger replied, glaring at the blue blob. "We've been getting reports from tourists who have been hiking in the north-east back country, and even one or two sightings near the Grand Canyon."

"I thought you said they were in Yellowstone?" Link asked.

"The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, not that overrated ditch they have in Arizona," Monger said curtly.

"Ditch?" Cockroach raised an eyebrow. "Your growing up in Wyoming wouldn't be biasing you at all, would it?"

Monger snorted. "That's a crazy idea. Now pay attention, all of you." He gestured to the map, which was showing the Yellowstone area, and zoomed the map into to the northern half of the park. "Our focus is here, along the Northeast Entrance Road, in the Lamar Valley. Normally the sasquatch are contained in designated wilderness areas high in the national forests that border the park, well away from human contact, but they are moving down into areas frequented by tourists. We need to drive them back. Wouldn't want people to panic. And wouldn't want locals to go hunting them, either: they're an endangered species."

"And you want us to go and keep these people safe?" Cockroach asked, arching an eyebrow.

"What are we, baby-sitters?" Link scoffed.

"We are keeping the public safe," Monger told him firmly.

"Have fun," Susan said dully. "Bring me a souvenir."

"That's a negative on the souvenirs. I want you in on this one, Ginormica," Monger told her.

"You sure? I mean, yes, sir, thank you," Susan said.

"Uh, General, what about the Pentagon's orders?" Cockroach asked.

"Where the safety of my men—my monsters—is concerned, my field authority is final," Monger told him. "We'll be outside populated areas, and dealing with large creatures. If we're going to be tackling giant primates, I want my own giant er… primate."

"Cool!" Susan said, her face beaming. "I get to go outside!"

"Only for a short time," Monger warned her.

"Shit!" Susan's expression suddenly changed. "What about Renee?"

"What about Renee?"

"Well, who's going to look after her? We can't leave her alone here."

"Why not?" Monger asked. "It's just overnight."

"Plus she doesn't need to eat or bathe or get taxes done," Bob added.

"No, I agree with Susan," Cockroach said. "I would suggest taking her with us."

Monger scratched his ear. "She's not actually in the military—she's too young, and I don't want her getting hurt."

"She's dead, General," Link pointed out. "And an incorporeal ghost. I doubt she can be injured."

Monger scratched his nose, then his chin. "Hm. All the same, she stays away from any action. Got that?"

"Thanks, General," Susan said. "Can I go and tell her now?"

"We move out in one hour, Ginormica. You and Miss Geist need to be ready by then. Bring overnight gear. Toothbrush, that sort of thing."

"Sir!" Susan saluted, then tapped gently on Renee's door with her fingernail—early in her stay, she had learned that with her strength, actual knocking could have unfortunate results. "Renee? You in there?"

"Yeah?" came Renee's voice. "Whaddaya want?"

"How would you like a trip to the park?" Susan called.

The door remained closed, but a few seconds later Renee passed straight through it. "What do you mean? What park?"

"We've got another mission, to Yellowstone this time. Catching Bigfoot."

"Catching what-foot?" Renee gasped.

"Bigfoot. Sasquatch."

"How on Earth am I supposed to catch one of those?"

"You're not. I am. Well, me and the others. But we can't leave you here all alone."

"Why not?"

"Huh? You want to stay here by yourself? We'll be gone at least two days."

Renee shrugged. "Maybe. It's not as if I can do anything there anyway."

"Oh come on," Susan pleaded. "It'll be fun! You'll get to see another part of the country, for one thing. And it'll be better than staying here again. Especially as I have to go this time."

"You're going? Oh, in that case," Renee said. "Are we taking the bug?"

"Insecto?" Susan asked. She glanced at Monger. "General? How are we getting there?"

"We will indeed be taking Insectosaurus," Monger said.

"Yay!" Bob cried. "We're gonna bug out!"

"Yeah, I second ya, buddy," Link said. "She hasn't been able to really stretch her wings for ages. So where is this Wyoming place?"

"Link, you plonker," Cockroach said, shaking his head. "Don't you even know where all fifty states are?"

The green scaled ape shrugged. "Why would I care? Hell, for most of my time here, it's not like going sightseeing was an option. I know where the important ones are, anyway: Hawaii, California, Florida…."

"Those are just the ones with the nicest beaches," Susan said with a grin.

"And that is what makes them so important. How many nice beaches are in Yellowstone?"

"Um, possibly some nice lakeside beaches," Cockroach said. "But it's inland, miles from the ocean."

"Poor them," Link said. "I don't know how anyone could survive without the sea."

"You have," Susan pointed out gently.

"Barely," he told her, making a face. "Ah, what I wouldn't give for a tropical lagoon right about now. Bliss…."

"At any rate, we should get ready," Cockroach said. "Susan, my dear, are you going to change?"

Susan glanced down at her uniform. "Oh, the quantonium skin. Of course. I haven't worn that in so long I nearly forgot about it."

"What is it?" Renee asked. "Is it that blue suit you wore when you fought Gallaxhar?"

"Yeah, that's the one. It interacts with the quantonium somehow, helping release its energy into this universe—me, that is."

"So it makes you even bigger?"

Susan shook her head. "No, not bigger, but maybe a bit stronger, a bit faster. But mainly it looks cool," she admitted with a slight blush. "See you in a few minutes," she added, standing up and heading to her room.

Several hours later they were flying low over Yellowstone Lake, heading north towards a range of low mountains, already capped with the upcoming winter's snow. Monger and Cockroach were busy studying readouts on laptops, showing maps and the latest reports from the field operatives.

"Down there, Insecto," the general ordered, and the huge moth banked, then flew low along a wide valley, pulling up near the far end and landing with a gentle thump.

"Right, we move out!" Monger called. "Get on down!"

"Enjoy the flight, Renee?" Susan asked as the ghost drifted up to her eye level.

"Not much. It really feels weird to have the wind blow straight through you," Renee said, shivering.

"Wait, are you cold?" Susan asked. "You should have said something!"

"No, I'm fine. I don't feel the cold any more, it seems. But I can feel when things go through me. I mean it doesn't hurt or anything, it just feels… weird."

"All right, monsters, listen up!" Monger called. "The latest reports have three Bigfoots—Bigfeet—whatevers spotted in the hills to the north, and a group of about five or six have been sighted heading towards Junction Butte. Those I want you to handle, Ginormica. Rendezvous with park personnel and follow their instructions. Link and I will deal with the ones in the hills. Miss Geist, you should remain here."

"I want to go with Susan," Renee said.

Monger shook his head. "It's not safe. You need to stay here."

"I'm dead, aren't I?" Renee asked. "So that means there's nothing that can kill me, right? I mean there's literally nothing that can even touch me, right?"

"Uh, well, I'm not sure…. If anything were to happen, it'd be my responsibility," Monger said.

"I'll look out for her, General," Susan told him. "And she's right—there isn't anything that could harm her. Even I couldn't. Please, General?"

Monger sighed and rolled his eyes. "Very well. On your head be it, young lady!"

"Thanks, General!" Renee cried, floating up to Susan's eye level.

"You've got your headsets?" the general asked. Susan took hers out of her pocket and unfolded it. It had been recovered from where she dropped it near Modesto and repaired, and this time, Cockroach had added a cord to secure it to her collar, which she attached now.

"Right, move out, monsters!" Monger called. "Assemble back here by seventeen hundred hours, even if you haven't caught the creatures. That's when the sun sets, and there's no point chasing them in the dark. You can try again tomorrow."

"Roger that," Link said.

"See you," Susan said to Cockroach, giving him a smile.

"Farewell, and good hunting, my love," he replied, waving.

"Cockroach, pay attention!" Monger barked as the scientist looked wistfully after the retreating form of his fifty-foot girlfriend.

"Isn't she beautiful, General?" the insect-headed man asked in a quiet voice.

"Isn't it beautiful, Renee?" Susan asked as the two of them headed out towards the west end of the valley. She paused, and looked around. She spun around, her arms wide, and took a deep breath. "I just love the space here! No need to worry about houses, cars, power lines, people. I can just walk or run as much as I like!"

"Watch out for wild animals, though," Renee said. "Hey, isn't that a bison out there?"

"Yeah, two of them," Susan said. "Wow! Oh, damn, they're running away!"

"I guess they're a bit scared of you," Renee muttered.

"You're probably right." Susan sighed. "Come on. Let's hope the Bigfoots are just as scared."

"I came here once, when I was about ten, with my parents," Renee said after a short pause. "We saw Old Faithful, and I remember being pretty disappointed."

"Wasn't it very faithful?"

Renee laughed. "Nah, it just wasn't very impressive. Maybe only about twice as tall as you. And there were so many people there watching it! Say, do you think they have a valve or something underneath it? You know, to make sure it erupts on time?"

"Somehow I don't think so. We might get a chance to see it, if we have a couple of hours free tomorrow. Have to ask the General, though."

After a few more minutes, Susan spotted some National Park Service ranger trucks, lights flashing, and slowed down.

"I think I... I'm going to fade out for a bit," Renee said. "I don't really want people staring. Don't worry, I'll still be here."

"Okay, sure," Susan said, smiling as the ghost vanished from view.

"You Ginormica?" someone shouted up through a megaphone.

"Uh, well, yes," Susan said, resisting the temptation to say something sarcastic. "General Monger sent me. Who are you?"

"Sorry. Mike Huntingdon, the District Ranger for the Lamar area. I'm in charge of the north-eastern part of the park."

"Okay, what should I do?"

"We've got three of them penned in over by the Lamar River," Huntingdon told her. "We've got tranquilizer guns, but these things take a while to work with beasts that big."

"And?" Susan asked, remembering how fast the first tranquilizer had worked on her. The second time had not been nearly as effective—Cockroach had suggested it was because her body had had longer to get used to the quantonium, and he suspected she was now quite immune.

"There's still two that are on the loose. We've got a chopper in the air, but the problem is, we can't get to them on the ground fast enough."

"But I can?" Susan asked. "And what do I do when I catch them?"

"We modified this tranquilizer gun for you," Huntingdon said. He gestured to another man, who brought out a large assembly of steel pipes and wires. It appeared to be quite heavy, as the man was straining to lift it.

"So I use that to shoot them?" Susan asked. "What if I miss?"

"There's six darts in there, and two sasquatches," he told her. "Try not to miss too much."

"You know how to use a gun?" the other man said as Susan bent down and carefully took the apparatus from him, holding it delicately between her fingertips.

Susan shook her head. "I've never fired a gun in my life."

"Your trigger's on the bottom, that large red bit. That's attached by wires to the real trigger."

"How do I aim?"

"Sight along the blue rod on top," he told her. "It's not great, but the best we could do in the few hours since General Monger told us he was bringing you."

"Looks good," Susan admitted. "Okay, how do I find the sasquatches?"

"The chopper will direct you," Huntingdon said, then took out a walkie-talkie. "Tango Charlie to Sky-Eye, come in. Set your frequency to 97.53. Over."

There was a short delay, and then Susan heard a hiss in her earpiece. "This is Sky-Eye, come in Tango Charlie. Over."

"Big Bird is ready to fly," Huntingdon said, and Susan could hear him in her earpiece as well. "Show her the way. Over and out."

"Okay there, Big Bird," the chopper pilot said. "We want you to head north-west, towards the river."

"Big Bird?" Susan asked. "For Heaven's sake. My name is Ginormica. I mean, my name is Susan."

"I rather like Big Bird," came Renee's voice in her ear. "Tall and ungainly and with an invisible friend…."

"I am not ungainly!" Susan shot back. "Well, okay, not very ungainly. Okay, maybe not at all gainly. But you try being elegant and poised when your legs are over twenty feet long and weigh more than a ton each. Even with my strength it's not always easy to be graceful."

"Hey, you're amazing, really," Renee replied. "Honest. No need to be so defensive."

"Sorry," Susan said, directing a smile towards where Renee's voice was coming from. "It's just that one of the few things I miss about being smaller—that is, one of the things I don't like about being bigger—is that people think I'm some great lumbering giant about to crush everything beneath her because she's so clumsy."

"Yeah, but, you can't keep thinking about that, Susan," Renee said. "You can't keep letting them tell you who you are. So you're a giant. A big, dangerous giant. And I'm a ghost, a scary, spooky ghost. Doc's a hideous mutant—okay, not that hideous. We're all scary to outsiders. That's their problem: let them deal with it."

"But they banned me from the mission to New Orleans, remember?" Susan said. "I'm grounded, because people fear me. I wouldn't be here this time unless Monger had overridden them. What if I'm grounded permanently?"

"Nah, never happen," Renee said. "You're too valuable. Hey, look! Oh my God!"

"Good God!" Susan gasped, looking down. For a moment she thought it was a gorilla, then she remembered that it couldn't be. But then surely it couldn't be a Bigfoot? They weren't real! Then again, who was she to say what could and could not be? After everything that had happened, Susan realized she wouldn't have been surprised to see the Loch Ness monster swimming across the Pacific on its way to visit Godzilla.

"Ginormica, this is Sky-Eye. Do you see them?" came a voice in her headset.

"I do, Sky-Eye," she said.

"Those are the ones we have penned. They don't like the water much, so we can keep them there and take them out from the ground. We need you to keep heading north, the way you're facing. I'll keep feeding you information. We'll be flying high enough so we aren't too loud from the ground, but we can track you with binoculars."

"What about the Bigfeet? Bigfoots?"

"Call them sasquatches. It's easier. The problem isn't finding them, it's getting to them. Each sasquatch is radio-tagged."

"What? You can trace them?"

"Of course. Uncle Sam needs to know where all the monsters on US soil are. Uh, well, I mean…."

"Yeah, he knows where I am too," Susan said, making a face. "Okay, I head up that hill there?"

"That's right. Thanks. Just follow my guidance."

Susan jogged up the gentle hill, which was covered in blue-green sage, heading towards a low mountain covered in pine trees. She thought back to the last time she had climbed a wilderness hill, back when she was fleeing the destruction she had caused in Las Vegas. This time was much more pleasant—aside from the fact that the scenery was rather nicer, now she wasn't being pursued as a rampaging killer monster.

She could see a herd of bison over in the distance to the left, and spotted an elk as it broke away and ran at her approach.

"Okay, bear left now. You're near the South Buffalo Plateau, not far from Montana. Left there, and down! Okay, do you see it?"

Susan stopped and scanned the area. "Nope. Where am I supposed to be looking?"

"Three o'clock. See it? Behind that lone pine."

Susan turned to the right and spotted a tall pine, and something brown underneath it. "Okay, I see it. Do I shoot from here?"

"No, you need to get closer. This is where your long legs are going to be useful. It's going to run, and you need to keep up. How fast can you move?"

"On flat ground I can hit a hundred," Susan said.

"A hundred miles an hour!" the helicopter guide gasped. "Okay, well, should be no problem then. You're faster than a cheetah. In that case just head towards him casually, but get ready to sprint. The key thing is not to let him get into the trees—you'll lose him there. So if he seems like he's about to make a dash for the forest, you need to cut him off. The aim isn't to catch him, but to wear him out, so you can take aim properly."

"Roger," Susan said. "Renee, I might leave you behind, but don't worry. I'll be back to pick you up."

"I'm pretty sure I'll spot you," Renee said. "Go, do your stuff. I'll be watching."

"Thanks," Susan said. She started moving towards the tree, and the strange shaggy humanoid creature she could see hiding beneath it. When she was about a hundred yards away it broke and ran, with long, loping strides that covered the ground rapidly. Susan started jogging after it, her tranquilizer gun cradled in one arm. She followed it at a reasonable distance for a few minutes, and then it dodged right, heading for the trees.

"Go, Big Bird!" came a voice in her earpiece, and Susan leapt forwards, thundering towards the trees to cut it off. She crossed the distance to the trees in a flash, and skidded to a halt, grabbing a tall lodgepole pine for balance and nearly ripping it out of the ground.

The sasquatch dodged to the left, and Susan lunged at it, preventing it from gaining the trees. It snarled at her, and she was close enough to see its large fangs before it turned and ran off towards the ridge.

Susan regained her balance and started after it again, making sure to keep heading it away from any forests. After about ten minutes she could tell it was starting to slow, and after another five or so it was barely loping along.

"Now's the tricky bit," came her guide's voice. "We can't let it run too much, or it'll run itself to death. It's slow enough now that you should be able to get pretty close."

"I'll try," Susan said, walking in the direction of the creature, which eyed her warily. She readied the tranquilizer gun, aiming it at the sasquatch.

"You should be close enough now," the guide said. "Fire!"

Susan raised the gun to her shoulder and squinted down the blue sighting pipe. Then, just before she could squeeze the trigger, the creature dashed off again, running faster than before.

Susan was after it in a moment, and caught up with it quickly, overtaking it and standing in its path. It spotted her and ran off to the right, then she saw it stumble and fall.

"Now, Big Bird!" came the guide's voice, and she raised her gun and fired.

"Did I hit it?" she asked.

"Readings say negative. Try again."

Susan jogged a bit closer as the sasquatch picked itself up and glared at her. She was now close enough to see that its eyes were small and bloodshot, and a bright green. She aimed and shot again. This time even she could see that she had missed. She swore loudly.

"Patience, Big Bird," the guide said. "Relax, ease into it, and keep your own breathing steady."

"Why am I even bothering with this silly toy?" Susan muttered. She put the gun on the ground, and dashed towards the creature.

"What are you doing? Use the tranq!" the guide cried, but Susan was already on the sasquatch, and before it could run more than a few paces, she had bent down and scooped it up, fastening her huge hand around it. She could feel it struggling in her grip, and its head lashed around trying to bite her, but she didn't let go.

"Gotcha, ya bastard," she smirked.

The sasquatch glared at her, and hissed, then its eyes suddenly opened wide and it let out a high, thin howl of pure terror. Susan could feel it shaking in her hand.

"Wow. That was one hell of a ride," Renee said, materializing. The sasquatch hissed at her, its eyes staring in fear.

"You kept up with me?" Susan asked.

"More or less," Renee said. "It wasn't that hard. So that's a Bigfoot? I didn't know they smelled so bad."

"Yeah, he does pong a bit," Susan said, wrinkling her nose. "Guess he needs a bath."

"That's one job I'm glad to say I can't do," the ghost joked, moving closer to the large ape. The sasquatch's eyes were fixed on her, and it was breathing in quick gasps, struggling desperately to get away.

"I guess he doesn't like ghosts," Susan commented. "Could you back off a bit, so he doesn't struggle so much? Sorry."

"Hmph," Renee muttered, but she drifted away and faded, and the sasquatch slowly became calmer.

"Okay, Ginormica to Sky-Eye," Susan called. "Got your first monster. Where d'ya want him?"

"Uh, we actually want him tranquilized," the guide told her.

"Oh, okay. No problem." Susan bent down to pick up the gun in her left hand, and held it a little awkwardly, pointing directly at the sasquatch in her right hand. "Say goodnight, sweet prince," she said, and fired at point-blank range. This time, she didn't miss. The sasquatch roared at her in defiance, and she laughed.

"Unorthodox, Big Bird, but you got him," the chopper guide said. "Give him a few minutes to go under, then get him back to base. I'll give you directions."

"Okay. Yeah, I'll be glad to get rid of this thing." Susan stood there for a few moments watching the hairy primate in her hand struggle to stay awake. In the end it surrendered, and its great head lolled on its shoulders. Susan gave it a gentle poke to make sure it was asleep, then called out to Renee. "He's asleep. You can come over now. We're heading down."

"He really did not like me, did he?" Renee commented.

"He was probably just scared," Susan said. "I mean, he'd just been chased and caught by a giant, and was being held thirty feet off the ground."

Renee shook her head. "No, it was different. He was pretty mad at you, of course. But when I came up, it was pure fear. He was really shit-scared of me."

"I guess. Animals are supposed to be sensitive to spirits, right?"

"How should I know?" Renee shot. "The closest thing I know to an animal is Insecto, and she's so big I don't think anything scares her."

"And she's used to monsters, anyway. Yeah, I guess you haven't been out in public since you were, uh, since this happened to you."

"Maybe it's better I don't," Renee muttered darkly.

"Oh, don't say that," Susan said. "People will accept you, I promise."

"Like they accepted you? Yeah, right."

"Well, you know, they did," Susan replied as she rounded a grove of pines and spotted the Lamar River. "I mean in Rome, after stopping that digger robot, they loved me. And even in Vegas, before it all…."

"Turned to shit?"

"Yeah. Before all that happened. Yeah, I guess they'll clamour for your autograph one day, and your head the next."

"Big Bird, please place the sasquatch in the holding pen with the others," came the ranger captain's voice in her headset.

"Uh, okay," Susan said, striding across the shallow braided river. "Here's your first beastie," she said, lowering the sleeping sasquatch to the ground inside a makeshift corral assembled from electrified wires.

"Well done," Huntingdon said, after a brief moment of shock. He approached the creature, holding a receiver unit, and made some measurements. "Yep, she's out cold."

"She?" Susan asked.

"Yes, this is Dryanta. All the sasquatch are given names—it helps us keep track of them. The other missing sasquatch is Geyyahab."

"Geya… hub? Are those Indian names?" Susan asked.

The ranger shook his head. "Uh, no. Some nerd at head office decided they should have Wookie names."

"You mean from Star Wars?" Susan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"In that case, where's Chewbacca?" Renee asked, materializing.

Huntingdon gasped, and jumped back, staring at her with his eyes wide.

"What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost," Renee said. Then she grinned. "Oh, wait. You have."

"Well? Where's Chewbacca?" Susan asked, trying to keep the man's attention off Renee.

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes still on the ghost girl. "Uh, Chewie was the first one we named, back in the eighties. He doesn't move around as much as he used to—mainly stays on the other side of the Beartooth Pass. That's some wild country out there. Uh, we should get the other one, Geyyahab, before it gets dark."

Susan glanced up. The sun was probably an hour or so from setting. "No problems. Tell Elmo I'm on my way."

"Uh, Elmo?"

"He calls me Big Bird, I'm gonna call him Elmo."

"Or you could call me Bert," the chopper guide said in her earpiece. "As in, that's my name, not as in Bert and Ernie."

Susan laughed. "Okay, Bert. But only if you call me Susan. Now point me the right way to catch this Wookie!"

.

MANGLER'S NOTES:

Scientific Armenian is a spoof of Scientific American.

Monger seems like he might be from somewhere like Wyoming. I can see him as the cowboy type. And yes, Yellowstone does have its own Grand Canyon, it is pretty grand, and it's made of yellow stone (where'd you think the name came from? Actually it came from the Yellowstone River which carved the canyon, which was known as Mitseadazi (Yellow Rock River) to the Minnetaree Indians). Anyway, I chose Yellowstone as a nice open, uncrowded, non-urban place that Monger could justify bending the rules for. Or rather, I chose a national park, and chose Yellowstone as it's the one I'm most familiar with. And the Lamar Valley is one of the more scenic areas, I happen to think. A lot of the forest from Madison to West Thumb in the south is still recovering from the 1988 fires that consumed about half the park. Yellowstone roads are shut in winter, starting in November, but the road from Mammoth at the North Entrance up to the Northeast Entrance is open all year, and it's this one that goes through the Lamar Valley. To make things easier, I've not included any snow at low altitudes. A little bit of artistic licence. I could have used a more southerly park, I guess. But I like Yellowstone.

I have no idea what the plural of "Bigfoot" is. And yes, there have been some sightings in the area, and no, I don't actually believe they exist.

I decided it would be fun to give them Wookie names. I took the names from a site called "clanofthewroshyr" dot com, so they're real (well…) Wookie names. I also figured that a government that goes to all that trouble to round up monsters like Susan and the others is going to keep close tabs on other, wilder ones as well.