Fabulous readers,

Please know that I'm laughing. Your comments amuse me immensely.

The next few weeks at the Katsuki-Nikiforov house were more chaotic than enjoyable for Yuri; what with the newborn and having to deal with his grandfather, mother, and the two love birds.

Yuri was tired; no, he was beyond tired. So tired was he that it didn't make any sense. His eyes constantly felt crusty, his hair was always greasy, and he was almost always too nervous to sleep most of the time, like he was too tired to sleep. Yeah, too tired to sleep.

His grandfather and mother would be returning to Russia tomorrow. Eventually the old bag that was his mother came around and started making more of an effort in being involved, but it took her some warming up. Now she was back acting like she was running the show. THat didn't even make any sense!

He respected his mother because she paid had paid for his skating, and she gave birth to him and whatever, but he couldn't wait to get her out of his hair. Why was every woman in his life literally the shitties person ever? "Except for you, lovey," he broke his train of thought as he leaned down and kissed Marina on the nose. "No, you're not a terrible little miss like the rest of them. You just have really bad colic, yep," he said as she screamed at him. He was starting to get the hang of her triggers and her weak spots.

She didn't like to be wrapped up in a swaddle unless she was attached to someone in a wrap. She didn't like it when it was quite. She wanted to be nursed near constantly, but she never ate. Most of the time she only just wanted to sleep with the bottle in her mouth because the pacifier was rarely good enough for her on and on. But she liked to sleep on her father's chest. Or she liked to have something heavy and warm rest across her belly.

Yuri wobbled on his feet as he nearly nodded off while he stood in her nursery changing her. She wailed, offended that he had removed her diaper and socks and kicked with all of her tiny strength as he tried to wrestle her back into her clothes. Putting on a fresh pair of white socks was the hardest. She didn't like to be pinned down in any way unless she did and it was hard to tell. "You need socks, baby. It's cold outside and you're going to hate it even more if you go out there underdressed," he said as he forced her cute little foot into a lacy white sock.

"Besides. This is a special day; so special socks….. Obviously." Was he really talking like this? He furrowed his brow. Nothing made sense. He was talking to a baby about special socks.

"I just don't understand why we need to be baptized if this is her ceremony," came a voice from outside of the nursery.

Yuri swiveled his head around as he pushed Marina's dressy bottom on. "It's because you're spiritually responsible for her. So if you're going to be spiritually responsible then you should at least be baptized," he explained flatly as he unfolded Marina's white dressing gown and bonnet just as Yuuri entered the room..

"I thought we were just going to be legally responsible for her?" Yuuri said as walked inside further, dressed in his suite and ready to go.

Victor followed in tow and leaned against the doorframe as he crossed his arms. He shrugged in reply to Yuuri's comment. "I don't know any more than you do."

"Why not? This isn't some Russian thing?"

Victor waved his hand to gesture no as he spoke. "I'm just a regular old Christian, but I haven't been to church in, gosh, years," he said as he bowed his head in embarrassment. The two of them had opted to keep religion out of their wedding so religion was often not discussed. Especially not with Yuuri who never could seem to wrap his head around it.

"Baptisms are more of a Catholic thing," Yuri said once he had finished dressing Marina. "It's not a big deal; just," he shrugged his shoulders, "that's how I was raised. I'm not even that good at practicing religion myself, but just because I'm awful at it doesn't meant she shouldn't have all the same things I got to have as an infant and a child."

"Yurio, you sound so grown up!"

"Would you have had a Catholic wedding if you could?" Yuuri asked as he adjusted his glasses on his nose.

Yuri froze a little before he yanked at Marina's carseat and hoisted it up onto the changing table so he could put her in it. "I would have liked to," he muttered. "This bonnet, actually, would have been her mother's handkerchief at the wedding; you know if we got that far," he said as he sniffed obnoxiously to mask his brief emotional display of regret.

"Sorry; I'm sure Yuuri didn't mean to go prying," Victor excused as he pinched his husband's arm.

"I'm just trying to understand," Yuuri interjected, not sounding apologetic; just genuinely curious. He waved Victor away from him and rubbed his arm in reaction.

"It's okay," Yuri said as he lifted Marina down. "So you two have to get baptized first; then after you're spiritually awakened or whatever, then we can proceed with Marina's ceremony."

"Then it's back here for her party! It's like a birthday party!" Victor chimed with a sing song voice. "Everything is all ready downstairs."

To that Yuri smiled genuinely. "Thanks guys."

It was just a small cathedral; nothing showy or fancy. Yuri had to go seeking a priest that would be open to baptizing a gay couple. IT took some time and effort, and a lot of having to talk to a bunch of old, stuffy men. His mother tried to take charge of the matter, but failed to understand the importance in allowing his friends to be the godparents of Marina. Yuri and his mother did not see eye to eye on the matter. Which was why she was presently standing as far away from Victor and Yuri as possible with her arms crossed and her eyes looking anywhere but at one of the crucial parts of the ceremony.

Had she had her way, she would have insisted upon standing beside Yuri for the baptism of his baby, a place that would usually be reserved for the mother of the infant. The argument concerning that was not pretty and seemed to rattle the whole household at the time. She cried for hours after that and kept insisting that it wasn't fair.

No, carrying his daughter up to the pedestal, leaning her over the edge and holding her so gingerly, that was his right now that he was without Micah. He moved slowly with her for she was quiet and dozing in his arms. Not for long he was sure.

He looked attentively at the priest as he spoke his holy words and held onto Marina.

"And now I ask thee, Marina Anna Plisetski. Dost thou desire to obtain eternal life in the church of god through faith in Jesus Christ?"

"She does," Yuri said softly with a nod.

Gently the man dressed in flourishing white robs leaned forth and breathed upon Marina saying, "May the powers of darkness, which the divine Redeemer hath vanquished by his cross, retire before thee, that thou mayest see to what hope, and to what an exceeding glorious inheritance among the saints, thou art called Mary.

Let us Pray."

At that, Yuri could hear a thump and a soft "ouch" come from Yuuri from down the steps where he and his husband were standing. Victor must have elbowed him to give him the signal to bow his head for the prayer while Yuri had already bowed his head with his eyes closed and began to speak along with the priest.

"Almighty, everlasting God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, look graciously down upon this child, whom thou hast called to the grace of regeneration by the Holy Ghost; banish all darkness from her heart, and vouchsafe unto her the holy Spirit of thy Son, who liveth and reigneth with the and the same Holy Spirit evermore.

Amen," he said as the priest's old hands touched upon Marina's forehead and breast in the sign of a cross.

On he went, first with salt in her mouth, waking her and giving her reason to start complaining, yet Yuri held her still. Then more touches upon her ears and face before he sprinkled water thrice upon her forehead. At that point the babe was awake and complaining boldly to having been disturbed.

It was a surreal moment for Yuri. He was thankful that he managed to find a church that was willing to do an unorthodox baptism. This would never be so in Russia and because of that he was grateful that he no longer lived there.

He turned and smiled at his friends after the final Amen as they all began to clap in appreciation of a successful and beautiful ceremony. It was now time for celebrations and food which everyone was surely grateful for. It was time for brunch and no one had yet eaten due to the preparations.

He stepped forward down, holding onto his fussing baby as Otabek stepped out from his spot next to Yuri's mother and reached for his hand to help him down the stairs safely. Yuri smiled at him. He was in too good of a mood to put up the facade of being a cool punk so instead he thanked his friend genuinely. It was a rare moment for everyone: Yuri was in a good mood, Victor and Yuuri were able to behold a Catholic ritual; his mother was quiet for once and did not make it about himself. What a successful morning.

"You've got some tears," Otabek said as he brushed Yuri's cheeks with the blunt of his thumb just as his company turned and began to walk down the aisle.

"Heh, thanks," Yuri said; he hadn't even realized he had shed a few tears. Really, he wasn't very religious at all, but he felt at least a baptism was important for Marina. He was happy as well to have been able to share such a meaningful moment with his friends and family.

Victor had insisted that he send out official invitations to friends both near and far, even as far as Thailand and South Korea. "It's only proper to invite them even if they can't make it," Victor would say as he fussed over envelopes and cards over the last week.

Victor's inviting "friends", though, meant inviting people that Yuri did not like because Victor simply had no understanding in what it meant to take in someone else's perspective. Or at least he conveniently forgot that crucial human skill whenever the situation suited him.

The party was still small, but what had Yuri pissed off was the presence of JJ and whatever-what's-her-face, his fiance. He would have rathered Phichit. Or Guang Hong was pretty chill too, but JJ? Why?

He narrowed his eyes, cup in his hands as he slouched on the couch. Apparently JJ was excited to visit. "We've been looking for the opportunity to come and tour around London so we just decided to go for it since there is now a good cause for us to visit. Plus I just had to see Otabek. Man, how have you been?" JJ was saying loudly in the dining room as he clapped his hand onto Otabek's back. "Enjoying the switch of teams?"

"Uh, yeah. It's been pretty nice. It's good to work in smaller teams."

"More intimate, right?" Christophe said as he raised his cup in the air; they were only drinking punch, but he still kept on insisting that he give toasts here and there for meaningful moments.

Yuri rolled his eyes.

JJ's fiancee was sitting next to him, holding Maraina and rocking her back and forth in her arms as she sang little lullaby to her while MIla hovered over. They had been fussing and sharing the baby all afternoon.

"Oh she's so sweet," she cooed. "I want to be a mommy some day," she said quietly as he played with Marina's strawberry blond locks. "Do you think her hair will stay this color?"

"Uh, I don't know," Yuri said as he sat up from his skulking spot and looked at Marina. "The doctors say that her eyes will change color, but I don't know about her hair."

"I kind of hope it doesn't change color. It's so pretty. Red hair is a dying genetic trait, you know, so it's good that she was able to pick up that gene," Mila said with pride as she brushed her fingers through her own red hair.

"Yeah, I guess I'd like for her hair to stay that color too," Yuri mused as he pinched at Marina's toe and wiggled it playfully. She wasn't capable of laughing yet, but he still liked to play with her nonetheless.

"I had my doubts that you were going to be a good dad, but I can tell that you're really happy about all of this."

At that Yuri furrowed his brow. "Thanks?"

"Playing nice over here?" JJ said from over the sofa. He patted Yuri on the back and congratulated him. "Pretty good looking, little baby," he said impartially. It became apparent to Yuri who it was that actually wanted to come to the party. "We, um, got you a little gift, right babe?"

"Right. You should go get it from the car," his Isabella was saying with a smile and a goo-goo eyed expression.

Yuri looked at him with a dumb face, and unfortunately his dumb faces always seemed to make it seem like he was extremely angry. He wasn't, he just didn't know what to say. Eventually he blurted out another phrase of gratitude before he stood and excused himself from the living area, giving the two stupid love birds time to play with the baby. He could trust JJ's fiancee and mila alone with Marina. He just couldn't handle being around JJ. He didn't like how he always acted with his soon-to-be-wife, always acting so lovey dovey and shit.

Quite simply put, it was hurtful for Yuri to see other's romantic happiness outside of Victor and Yuuri. "Bah," he seethed as he refilled his cup and skulked past Christophe, ignoring him entirely as he pushed out through the kitchen and out the back door.

He slammed his head against the brick wall of the building and looked up at the dying light. Daylight did not last very long in December in London. It only had to be about 1600 or so and yet it seemed as though it were already night.

He heard the backdoor open and close from beside him and glanced over at Otabek. He flashed a disgruntled look before he spoke. "What? Did they send you out here after me because you're the only one that can ever deal with my 'moodiness'." He made a quotation mark motion with his free hand as he said the last word in his sentence.

"No, just thought I'd come out and see how you were. It's not hard to tell when you're upset about something. I didn't need to be told to come out here and check on you. I did so because I wanted to. What's up?" Otabek said slowly as he turned and leaned against the wall beside Yuri.

"I hate JJ," he said simply.

"That's not really what's bothering you."

"Feh, I just don't like him. I never have. He's always condescending, even when he's trying to be nice."

"Did he say something to you?"

Yuri furrowed his brow. "Not really."

"So what's wrong?"

"I don't know. I just get frustrated when I'm around couples right now. Isabella-that's her name I think-was holding Marina and JJ was standing behind her. I could see their engagement rings and-" He broke himself off short. That was a really petting thing to be upset about, even for him.

"You're upset because they're happy together." Beka stated, not to confirm, but because he had already had a suspicion that that was the underlying issue.

Yuri could feel the heavy weight of Beka's arm fall across his shoulders. The older man pulled on him harshly and tucked him in close. "It's kind of cold out here don't you think?"

"Yeah. It's snowing a bit too," Yuri said as he held out his hand and caught a few snowflakes, thankful for the change of subject.

"You can cry if you want. I'll hold you," he could hear Otabek say slowly.

"Do I really cry a lot or something?"

"Only because you usually have a good reason to," Beka said with a small smile. "I seem to recall a few times where I cried with you. It's frustrating; this whole last last year has been kind of shitty."

"Yeah," Yuri said quietly as he turned his body to face Otabek, he scooted closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. "But at least you're really good at being there for me," he said as he hugged him and remained in that position.

From above him Beka chuckled a little as he held Yuri tighter. "I try," he replied with a shrug.

Where Yuri stood, he truly did believe that he and Otabek had such a solid bond. It was usually around the older skater that he felt like he wasn't utterly alone. Victor and Yuuri were worlds apart from him a lot of the time; and for the last run of his relationship with Micah it seemed that she was just as far, but Otabek was always something corporal, someone who he could hug and cling to when he needed.

Otabek didn't make things complicated. He said what he meant and he was straightforward. There were emotions between them, but they weren't confusing like they had been with Micah. Yuri held onto Otabek a little tighter as he stomach rolled over in his belly. He twisted his nose into Beka's shirt and sniffed.

"I'm not crying," he muttered pathetically. "I just hate seeing other people be happy."

"It's okay, you can hate them all you want. I think you're entitled to be a little bitter."

"I don't hate you, though," Yuri said softly.

"That's good, 'cuse I was gonna say that I could go if you wanted me to."

"Please don't," Yuri protested feebly.

"Hey, Yuri?"

"Yeah?"

"When we hug each other like this. What does it mean to you?"

Yuri turned his face away from Beka's chest and looked out towards small yard around the side of the house. "I dunno," he said stupidly.

"No?"

"Why do you ask?" Yuri questioned with hesitation.

Beka shrugged. "It's just intimate for me when you do stuff like this. "

"Ha-ha, what? Really?" Yuri couldn't help, though, but feel his heart sink a little. Was that really what he was putting across to the other? Shit.

"I was just wondering, you know. If you needed a rebound or something. Like an emotional one. I could stay here for a little while and help you out at night so you don't feel so lonely."

"Don't be ridiculous; why would you want to waste good sleep just to ensure that I don't feel lonely?" Yuri half laughed with a weird look on his face.

"Because I care about you; I dunno. It just seems like you need an emotional backbone. You don't have to do this alone, bear the burden and responsibility of having made a mistake, you know?"

"Feh," he snorted. But he paused and glanced back quickly. "I won't mind if you won't mind," he said before he promptly shut his mouth again and remained silent there with Otabek for a few minutes more, the both of them watching the snow and holding onto one another.