AN: I'm sorry. Unfortunately I didn't have a computer for a long time, and after that my (fantastic) beta-reader left and thus didn't have time to read my chapter. I can only apologize and try to update faster this time, which is very likely to happen since it's spring break.

Chapter 13 - Nothing left

It was early in the morning when Sasuke awoke. The sun had yet to rise and probably it wouldn't be visible anyway, for the heavy clouds were covering they gray sky completely. It was still raining and the drops of water hitting Sasuke's skin felt like ice cold needles, causing him to shiver. Nevertheless, he felt strangely numb. It was as though his head was completely empty, his thoughts silent. Instead, there was a dull throbbing in his temples.

He was in the same position as yesterday, when he'd fallen unconscious- that's what Sasuke assumed had happened- with his back leant against the cold stone, arms hanging at his sides limply. The young Uchiha was completely soaked, to the point where the cold hurt and let his skin burn, but he didn't pay any attention to that.

For a while Sasuke just sat there motionlessly, not attempting to get up, probably not even able to. He gazed into the space, not really aware of what he was looking at- the scenery before him looked somewhat blurred, nothing but different shades of black and gray. He blinked, once, twice- but it didn't change. It was only then that Sasuke realized there were tears in his eyes. He wanted to raise a hand, wipe them away, but found that he couldn't.

After quite a while, he finally gathered some strength and got onto his feet, using his hands and the rock behind him as a support. Once Sasuke stood, he didn't move for another minute. Just standing without staggering or falling seemed to be a challenge. He waited until his breath was even, then set into motion.

It felt like eternity to him, but Sasuke knew that it only could've been a few minutes until he reached his tent. He raised a hand to push the tarpaulin covering the entrance to the side, stumbled out of the rain into the warmth, and fell to the ground as soon as he was inside.

A tense silence settled before some curious whispers became audible. Sasuke couldn't care less. He just kept lying there, face to the ground, not finding any will to stand up. Nobody made a move to help him- not that he would have accepted any help.

After a few minutes, he got onto his feet, wavering a little, and dragged himself towards his sleepingmattress. Once he'd reached it he slumped down, ignoring the pain that seared through his still not fully healed sides. Closing his eyes, he tried to blend out the excited whispers around him. That was probably why he didn't hear one of his comrades approach.

"Where the hell have you been?" Sasuke flinched a little, but although he wasn't completely by his senses, he recognized the voice as Deidara's. He struggled to find his voice and form words, but managed to bring out a hoarse 'outside'.

"And what were you doing there?"

"Thinking." Sasuke's tone lacked the usual arrogance; he found himself unable to talk louder or with more emphasis.

It was silent for a while, then Deidara spoke up again, hesitantly this time. "What... about Raven?" he asked, lowering his voice a little.

Sasuke clenched his fist, but the blond didn't notice. "Nothing."

Deidara suddenly grabbed his wrist and came closer, close enough that Sasuke could feel the other's breath against his neck. "Tell me why you care about him."

The young Uchiha didn't bother to move or look at Deidara, and he didn't answer straight away.

Only a few hours ago that would have been relatively easy to answer. Now...

"I don't want to talk about him."

The grip around his wrist tightened. "Once again. Why do you care about him?"

"I don't," Sasuke retorted, losing his patience. He might be in a bad condition, but he would not allow anyone to treat him like that.

"Don't lie to me, Sasuke," the blond hissed. Sasuke forced himself to sit up and pulled his hand out of the other's strong grip. "Listen, Deidara. This is none of your concern. You want to see Raven dead, and so do many other people in this prison." He spoke louder than before, using the strength he had left to make sure he looked and sounded intimidating enough for everyone to look at him and listen. "I'll say it once, for all of you. No one will lay a finger on him."

He let his eyes wander, glaring at the men around him, suppressing the urge to activate his sharingan.

"And who are you to tell us this?" One of them asked, smirking at Sasuke in a condescending manner. The young Uchiha ignored him and continued talking.

"The one who will kill him is me, and me alone." He paused a second time, allowing his words to sink in. "I have my reasons. I will not hesitate," he sent Deidara a glare, "to kill anyone who questions my decision."

It was oppressively silent. For some reason, the boy who never really stood out much, who would look almost vulnerable if it wasn't for his serious expression and the dark eyes that seemed to be hiding a quiet danger in their depths- was respected by everyone who had just heard him. There was something in his voice, a determination that erased every doubt – and hatred, a menace so deep and unmistakable that no one dared laugh at him or talk back.

Not a single one of the men in the tent said anything, not even Deidara, so Sasuke just lay back down. What he'd just said was true. Itachi's life was his to take, he was the one who would bring justice. That man deserved nothing but death. Not only had he killed his entire family- he had been lying to Sasuke all the time, too. The young Uchiha felt betrayed, foolish, and, most of all, alone. Itachi had been all he had left, now that the truth had been revealed, now that he'd finally remembered everything, he had no one. Yet, for some reason, he didn't mind. The more he thought about it the more Sasuke came to realize that the only thing he cared about was his revenge. And revenge he would get, that was for sure.

Sasuke decided that although he felt tired and worn out, he didn't want to rest too long. So after he'd closed his eyes for a few minutes, he got up and wordlessly left the tent. The rain hadn't ceased to fall, if anything it had become heavier- thus, he was alone outside. Probably, Sasuke thought, all the others were either inside their tents or in the small cave where the food stuff was being served. He slowly walked down the path, his destination being the training grounds. Sasuke was sure that they, too, were empty at this time, and he was intended to use this opportunity to practice ninjutsu. Up until now he had managed to keep his abilities hidden, and he wanted it to stay that way. None of the men who had ever seen him use his chakra in the arena were still alive, therefore nobody could know. Deidara and Sasori were an exception, but the puppeteer was dead and the blond was smart enough to keep quiet about it.

Before, Sasuke had been hesitant, although he wanted to train properly he hadn't gotten any opportunity yet- which was why now, may he be injured and a little weak, he had to train.

He looked down at his feet; his sandals were dirty brown instead of their original color, for the usually so dusty path was completely muddy thanks to the heavy rainfall. Sasuke's light steps didn't make any sound, though.

As expected, he didn't meet anyone on his way. He had to walk past Itachi's tent, and Sasuke couldn't help but peer into it- his brother wasn't there. It was probably better that way, he thought, otherwise Sasuke might not have been able to control himself. Thinking of the raven, he felt something inside him stir. Last night he had been too shocked, too hurt to react, he had felt helplessly numb- but now that his senses were returning, a burning hatred was starting to build. And with every minute that passed, it grew.

Sasuke clenched his fists and dug his fingernails into his palm until he felt the skin break. A small trail of blood ran down his fingers and fell down onto the ground. It remained visible for a few seconds, then the rain and the small streams of water running down the path washed it away.

Sasuke's prediction had been right. The training grounds were completely empty. He let his gaze wander, taking in his surroundings. A few posts, serving as a replacement of living targets in the arena, and a few targets meant for the practice with shuriken or kunai. Since Sasuke had neither of them, he focused on the posts once he was in the middle of the area. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, concentrated his chakra and made a few quick hand signs. Tamed lightning crackled in his hands before it took the form of a thin blade, the cold, sparkling blue contrasting the monotonous colors of the rocks and the wet ground. Sasuke leaped at one of the posts, raising his hand and the blade, then cut it in half before his feet touched the ground again. The upper part of the post fell into the mud, but he didn't pay attention to that; Sasuke whirled around, jumped once again, and threw the sword at the next post, successfully cutting it from top to bottom. He ran, only a few meters, catching it just in time. More hand signs, and the flickering energy changed its form, now nothing more than a mere ball of lightning in Sasuke's hand. The young Uchiha stood motionlessly for a short moment, then jumped into the air, eyes closed. At the highest point, crimson eyes shot open, taking in the situation in a matter of seconds. A flash of cold, blue light- and the remaining posts were struck by the tamed energy, charring down despite the rain that was still falling.

Sasuke landed smoothly, deactivated his sharingan- that was when he felt a presence behind him. He turned around, his left hand raised and prepared to attack once more- but he met the gaze of a single blue eye.

"Impressive, un."

Sasuke took a deep breath. "You followed me." He wondered how the bomber had managed to do that without Sasuke noticing him, but after all, he was a ninja as well.

"I was curious."

"You mistrust me."

Silence, then a smirk began to form on Deidara's lips.

"Got me. I don't trust you at all, Sasuke, and seeing you like this confirms my suspicions. You pretend to be weak, average- while in truth, you are an excellent ninja… Just like Raven did when he first arrived here."

"I'm not like him," Sasuke retorted sharper than he'd intended. Deidara raised a thin eyebrow. "I never said you were." He glanced around, as though he feared someone might hear him. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you. About Raven."

Sasuke's expression hardened. "Why?"

"You might want to know a few things about him, if you're really planning to fight him, un."

Sasuke laughed a short, humorless laugh. "I doubt that anyone in here knows more about him than I do," he said, wanting to leave, but the blond grabbed his shoulder, holding him back.

"Listen," he hissed, suddenly very close to Sasuke. "Everyone in here mistrusts you. The little show you put on before in the tent didn't make that any better; in fact, it just caused the men to be a little more wary when it comes to you."

Sasuke slowly turned, facing Deidara. "And what does that have to do with Raven?"

"It is because of Raven that they don't trust you," the blond explained. "You both saved each other, more than just once. Raven normally doesn't care about anyone, he would gladly sacrifice the lives of all the men in here in order to survive. It's not a surprise that they wonder why he, when it comes to you, suddenly cares. And not only that, you, who you seem to be quite a loner yourself, you bothered to save him as well. You even treated his wounds after that last fight." He paused for a moment, looking into Sasuke's eyes intently, as though he was hoping to find an answer in them. But the dark orbs were cold and inscrutable as always, and Sasuke didn't make any move to respond either, so Deidara continued. "They see Raven as their enemy. That is only natural, he seems to be by far the strongest in here. Nobody has ever actually seen him fight- and that's probably what makes them fear him so much. He has the reputation of an ice cold killer, someone who does not hesitate to kill anyone who comes near him once he's in the arena- may it be necessary or not. But you, Sasuke, are an exception. That makes you their enemy."

Sasuke was quite unimpressed. He had figured that much. Not saying anything, he waited for Deidara to continue.

"Only yesterday you did everything for him to survive. And this morning, you suddenly come back and tell us that you want to kill Raven, and you are the only one allowed to lay a finger on him. Some of the men suspect that this is yet another lie of you in order to protect him- but I doubt that." His blue eye pierced Sasuke, but the young Uchiha didn't let anything show. "And?" he asked, sounding bored.

"You sounded serious. There was something in your voice that made clear that you hate Raven, with all your heart… Now I wonder, why that change of mind?"

Sasuke stared at the other for a long moment before shaking Deidara's hand off his shoulder. He turned his back towards the blonde and started to slowly walk away. Deidara followed him, waiting for a reply.

"Tch." For some reason, Sasuke had been hoping to hear more, something interesting maybe, or rather something that could help him. "Is that all?" He turned once more, giving the blond a bored look.

To his surprise, Deidara shook his head. "No. As I said, I want to talk about Raven, not pose questions."

Sasuke smirked. "Well, all you did was question me."

"I want you to tell me the truth. Then I'll tell you what I know."

Sasuke thought about that. He didn't quite understand why Deidara wanted to know about him- perhaps he was hoping to find out that he was precious to Itachi; he could find a way to blackmail his brother in that case. Sasuke clenched his fists. Too bad that apparently, he didn't mean anything to him.

He forced himself not to think of that more than necessary, and focused on what he'd been wondering about before. Not finding an answer, he asked Deidara after a moment of silence. "Why?"

The blond seemed to contemplate for a few seconds. "I want to see him dead, after all. I figured that since you want to be the one to kill him, I might as well help you."

Sasuke's first impulse was to decline the offer, but he thought about it and decided to listen to what Deidara had to say. As for his part of their deal- he wouldn't tell him the truth. He wasn't sure why, maybe it was because Sasuke wasn't a talkative person anyways, maybe because he didn't want to seem vulnerable and weak- probably also because what they had done was considered abnormal- but deep inside he knew it was because he couldn't talk about it without letting his hurt and frustration show.

"Fine. But let's go somewhere else, I don't want anyone to see us here," he finally answered. Deidara nodded in agreement. "The tent should be empty by now. Everyone's eating in the cave."

Sasuke didn't respond, he just turned around and started walking, back to their tent. Although only a short time had passed, the path had become even muddier than it had been on his way to the training grounds. He didn't pay attention to that though, because he was occupied with making up a believable story he could tell Deidara.

They walked back in silence, a strange tension hanging between them. Once they had entered the tent, Deidara sat down, followed by Sasuke. The blond didn't say anything, therefore Sasuke just began to talk.

"The truth is, that the first time I saved Raven," he began, not wasting any time, "it was merely an accident. I didn't think about it afterwards, and I doubt he did. But he saved me when I was in danger- to repay his debts." Sasuke paused, thinking about what to say next. "I don't know much about Raven, but I have learned that he is selfish. While at first I thought he saved me because he actually felt sympathy, I now understand that he did it because he would have felt guilty otherwise," he continued, trying to maintain his facade. "He is cold and emotionless, someone who doesn't care for others in the least. I made the mistake to trust him, but now I know what kind of person he truly is." Deidara looked as though he was deep in thought, then he nodded slowly. "That might be true, since it's my impression of him as well. But Sasori has told me something says otherwise. Not too long ago, he told me that Raven is not who he pretends to be." He stopped, once again glancing around quickly. Sasuke's expression didn't change, although he could feel anger boil up inside him.

"According to Sasori, in the arena he's going under a different name in order to avoid difficulties."

Sasuke quirked a single eyebrow. "And what is his name if it isn't Raven?" he asked, pretending not to know anything.

"Itachi."

"So?" Sasuke was getting impatient. Of course he was surprised that Sasori had known, and he wondered whether Itachi had actually told him or if the redhead (you spell that together) had found out by himself- but it was too late to ask him anyway, so Sasuke cast those thoughts aside.

"You have probably heard of the Uchiha clan before..."

The raven haired boy looked up, trying to hide his surprise. "I have," he said slowly.

"Well. Then you've probably heard that the entire clan has been murdered. Rumor has it that there are two survivors: A young boy- and Itachi."

"What are you trying to say?" Sasuke was annoyed, for he didn't know what Deidara's point was. He suddenly felt the other grip his chin and turn his head to the left and to the right, and Deidara leaned in closer, wanting to scrutinize Sasuke's features.

"The similarity between you and Raven- Itachi- is conspicuous. I don't think that you two just got along from the start, he isn't like that, and neither are you. You both wouldn't let people be close to you so easily. You wouldn't be willing to take the risk of your own death just in order to protect the other..." Deidara let go of his chin, but Sasuke didn't move. He was trying very hard not to let anything show on his face, and he kept quiet, waiting what else the blond had to say. The young Uchiha knew that arguing right now would probably seem suspicious, and it would confirm the other's hunch.

"I can only assume that you knew each other before," concluded Deidara, examining him searchingly. Sasuke took his time to answer, and when he did, he felt as though he was telling the truth.

"I didn't know him." It was true, in some way. He hadn't known who the man going by the name 'Raven' was. He'd had no idea. That was probably why now, telling Deidara that he'd never seen Itachi before coming to the arena, he didn't really feel like he was lying. Sasuke had never been a good liar- so for once the loss of his memories was advantageous.

Deidara's visible eye narrowed. "But he knew you?"

"I didn't say that." The moment he said it Sasuke knew the answer had come too fast.

"Sasuke," the blond said, sounding even more serious than before. "Are you his brother? The second survivor of the Uchiha clan's massacre?"

For a few seconds he actually considered telling Deidara the truth. What would it matter? If the bomber told anyone, Sasuke could kill them. He could as well kill Deidara, when the time came. Yet, he decided not to tell the truth. For some reason, only thinking about it made him feel sick, at the same time angry. The brother he had known died the night his family had been murdered.

"I'm not of the Uchiha clan," he replied slowly. "As for Raven- I don't know anything about him. I thought I did- but I was wrong."

...

Itachi was tempted to go outside into the cold rain, to the rocks bordering their prison, where Sasuke sat with his back leant against the wall- he wanted to pick him up and carry him back into the warmth of his tent- but he knew he couldn't. From where he was standing, it looked as though his brother had passed out. Itachi had watched him slump down against the dark wall, not caring about the cold or the rain. He wanted nothing more than to run after him, hold him, tell him the truth- but he couldn't. He had known that Sasuke would eventually remember everything, and in the past hours he'd tried not to think of it. He wanted to enjoy the time he had left with his little brother.

Itachi had never wanted it to end up like this. He hadn't wanted to kiss Sasuke, nor have sex with him. He hadn't wanted to tell him how he really felt about him. All he'd desired was some time with his little brother. For ten years Itachi had been thinking about nothing but him. After leaving Konoha, he'd become a shadow of himself. The last bit of hope for things to be as they used to be once again had faded when he returned to the village and found out that his Sasuke's memory had been erased.

The day Itachi had been captured and brought to the arena, he gave up on everything. He didn't really care about his own life- the days he spent training, not giving any attention to what was happening around him. At night he would lose himself in either thoughts or dreams- both revolving around Sasuke.

Standing in the entrance of his tent, the rain pattering onto the muddy ground loudly, drowning out everything else, Itachi remembered the moment he'd seen Sasuke again. He had sensed him before even seeing him. He would recognize that chakra signature anywhere, even though it had changed a lot. Itachi had dared to turn around and look, and seeing Sasuke for the first time after all those years had sparked something inside of him. But he had forced himself not to interact with Sasuke, instead he settled for protecting him from the shadows he'd always been hiding in, without Sasuke ever knowing. He tried to avoid his little brother, he tried not to talk to him- not even look at him- foolishly telling himself that he wouldn't make the same mistake again. That he wouldn't fall for his own brother again.

Deep down Itachi knew that he'd never stopped loving Sasuke in that wrong way. That was probably why he didn't listen to Sasori when he told him to stay away from Sasuke, and it was also the reason why this night he hadn't held back. Knowing that Sasuke would remember everything sooner or later, Itachi had wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. But he didn't expect the younger to regain his memory so fast. Therefore, when Sasuke woke up from a nightmare- one that was reality- he hadn't been able to do anything. All he could do was watch as the love in Sasuke's eyes was replaced with hurt, and then, slowly, hatred. Itachi knew this hatred would only grow once the sadness faded completely.

He doubted that Sasuke would believe him if he told him the truth behind his actions now. There was no way he could prove it, after all. And Itachi was sure that after what he'd done, Sasuke wouldn't believe anything.

A feeling of hopelessness overcame him as he watched his beloved little brother lying there in the rain, and he couldn't help but recall the way Sasuke had looked at him only minutes ago- contempt in his eyes, his voice dripping with venom. Itachi raised a hand to his face, wanting to brush a few strands of raven hair out of his eyes- and only then he realized that he was crying. His hand sank back down, and he just stood, his eyes fixed on Sasuke, tears rolling down his cheeks.

...

Deidara had eventually stopped pestering him, leaving with a warning.

"Don't underestimate the power of the sharingan."

The blond seemed to be pretty sure of what Sasori had told him as well as his own theory, Sasuke thought. Fortunately, it seemed that he had convinced him that he wasn't one of the Uchiha clan's survivors, otherwise the bomber wouldn't have told him about all this. None of the information had been new or useful to Sasuke, but at least, after this, he knew how much exactly Deidara was aware of.

Now, after having gotten some food in the cave where the necessary supplies were handed out, the young Uchiha had returned to the tent. As expected, he wasn't alone. On normal days the likelihood of the tent being empty was high, for most of its occupants would either be training or in the cave with their comrades or friends- but today the rain hadn't stopped once, resulting in them not knowing what to do. Therefore, it was neither empty nor quiet in tent 3 when Sasuke entered, a slice of bread in his hand. For a brief moment he thought that living in the one tent that served as a 'home' for only a single person wouldn't have been so bad, on the contrary; it would have been rather... pleasant. It was an inadvertent thought, and Sasuke felt anger arise in him as soon as he realized what he'd been thinking about.

He needed to stop pondering about that traitorous man. If anything, he was supposed to think about him with hatred and contempt.

Looking outside, he noticed that it was dark already. The day had apparently gone by faster than he thought. Sasuke didn't exactly feel tired, what he felt was something different. It was as though all his energy had been drained from him, together with his ability to feel anything but resentment.

Sasuke allowed a quiet sigh to escape his lips as he made his way to his bed. Killing Itachi wasn't going to be easy. He was very well aware of just how strong the other was. And Sasuke knew that after having killed an entire clan without any further hesitation, Itachi wouldn't have any qualms to kill his own brother.

He lay down and pulled the thin blankets up, trying to escape the cold.

There was something deep in his heart though- or maybe it was only his thoughts; his imagination- that told him that despite hating his brother for what he'd done, Sasuke couldn't help but feel hurt. The reasons were more than obvious, to him too, and even though he wanted to deny it, he knew hehad hoped that Itachi really loved him the way he loved the other.

Sasuke closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't dream this night.

Only a few seconds after, he realized that he wasn't going to dream about his childhood anymore.

There wasn't anything left to remember.

AN: Although I'm a prick and never update, reviews are very much appreciated. Heeh.