Twisted

Chapter Fourteen – Prom Night

"Ah…the African violet: the stunning tropical plant, the inhabitant of the cloud forests, and the reason why our kitchen smells so beautiful!" a teenaged Vidcund raves, leaning his nose into the potted plant in the center of the Curious' kitchen table and taking a gentle whiff. "Oh, how I wish I could live in your soil."

"Ding-dong!" the doorbell chimes throughout the Curious residence, causing Vidcund to glance up stunned as he hears footsteps walk towards the front door.

"Vidcund! Your girlfriend is here!" Glarn calls out.

Hearing this, Vidcund bolts out of his seat and races down the hallway. He passes by Pascal, who is walking in the opposite direction, scanning over his Physics 360 notes. Vidcund runs so quickly past him that the wind causes a few of Pascal's college course papers to fall to the floor. Pascal groans and kneels on the shaggy, green carpet to retrieve them.

"Unbelievable," Pascal mutters as he grabs onto the papers. He stands up in place, Vidcund and Lazlo's open bedroom straight in his field of vision. Pascal tilts his forehead when he notices Vidcund hop over Lazlo, who is busying playing his Game Boy on the edge of Vidcund's bed, and hide under the covers.

"Hey Vidcund," Pascal begins, cautiously stepping into his brothers' bedroom, "everything okay?"

"Yeah," Vidcund's muffled voice rings out from underneath the covers, "that's why I'm hiding."

Pascal stares down at the Vidcund-shaped lump and shakes his head. "Good to know."

"Vidcund!" Glarn yells once more, his tone a tad angrier, "Circe is at the front door! Are you coming or not?"

Vidcund moans, pulls the celestial patterned comforter off himself, and sticks his head into the hallway. "I don't want to see Circe!" he shouts, "I think I'm sick!"

"You're sick?" Pascal repeats, taking a step away from him as Vidcund slams the door.

"Yeah, sick of her," Vidcund sighs, flopping back down on his mattress. "She's driving me nuts! It seems like everything I do ticks her off!" he animatedly states to the ceiling, "Life was so much simpler when I didn't have a girlfriend."

"Then dump her," Pascal suggests, leaning against the doorframe.

"What are you, crazy?!" Vidcund exclaims, sitting up in his bed to look at him, "She doesn't take anything lightly. Remember when she set Mr. Landry's car on fire when he gave her an A- on her Sociology report? If I break up with her, she'll probably kill me!"

Pascal strokes his chin as he stares up at the ceiling. "Yeah, she is a crafty one," he notes.

Vidcund sighs as he stares down at the carpet. "I just thought our relationship would get better after Mom died, but I guess I was wrong."

Pascal nods, the atmosphere in the room shifting to sorrow. Pascal sits down next to his somber brother. "Relax Vid, I'll help you break up with Circe."

"Really?" Vidcund states, gazing up slightly.

"Sure!" Pascal smiles, patting him on the shoulder, "I'm great at getting people to avoid me! Remember our old dentist? I hear he's treating patients in Veronaville now," he beams, "But if I'm going to help you, you have to promise me that you'll follow my directions to a tee, or else the whole plan will go under. Can you do that?"

"Uh…I think so."

"Perfect!" Pascal exclaims, pulling a befuddled Vidcund into an awkward side hug and giving him a tight squeeze, "Then let Operation: Break Up begin!"

…

Fifteen minutes later, the Curious brothers are situated in the small living area in their basement. Vidcund is sitting on the beat-up, old floral couch with Lazlo sitting a few feet down, tapping away on his Game Boy. Pascal is standing in front of the pair, staring down at Vidcund.

"Alright, now in order for this break up to go smoothly, we're going to have to get Circe to break up with you and not the other way around," Pascal begins, pacing by the couch.

"That sounds good, but how are we going to do that?" Vidcund wonders.

"Easy! We're going to push her into doing so, by turning you into the biggest jerk this town has ever seen!" Pascal exclaims, excitement filling his voice, "By the time you're done with Dr. Pascal's Jerkifying Academy, no girl will touch you," he explains, "Now, let's get started."

Pascal reaches into his back pocket and takes out a pen. He holds it out in front of him.

"Take it," Pascal commands.

Vidcund scrunches his eyebrows. "But I don't want it."

"It doesn't matter if you want it or not. A jerky person takes things to assert their dominance regardless of their own desires." Pascal briefly scans the area before reaching down and snatching Lazlo's Game Boy from him.

"Hey!" Lazlo cries. He lunges forward and tackles Pascal to the ground. The pair tussles for a bit before Lazlo yanks the Game Boy out of Pascal's grasp and resumes his place on the couch.

Pascal groans and rolls onto his stomach, clearly disheveled. "Great job, Lazlo!" Pascal states between heavy breaths. Pascal turns to Vidcund, "See? That's how it's done!"

"Right. And does a jerky person also get beaten up by their little brother?" Vidcund smirks, his arms folded.

"Sometimes," Pascal replies, still hanging onto his stomach in pain. He flops over on his back, "God, that kid can really pack a punch!" he states to the ceiling. "But did you at least find this exercise helpful?"

"Oh yeah," Vidcund responds, "I am especially glad you were able to exploit our little brother to demonstrate this questionable technique."

Pascal sighs and sits up on the carpet. "Geez, tough crowd."

…

Three hours later, Pascal and Vidcund are standing in front of the Salami residence, Pascal placing a reassuring hand on his trembling brother's shoulder. "Okay Vid, we practiced this all morning. I think you're more than ready to face Circe."

"Pascal, I don't know, what if I don't have it in me?" Vidcund panics, shaking Pascal by the shoulders, "What if I can't be a jerk for long enough?" Pascal slaps Vidcund across the face. "OW!" Vidcund shoots Pascal a death glare; Pascal smiles.

"You'll do fine."

Vidcund nods uneasily and walks up the stairs to the front porch. He stops a foot from the door, then turns back to glance at Pascal, who flashes him a thumbs up. Vidcund stiffly turns back to the doorway and sighs. He rings the doorbell.

Grainne, Circe's mother, swings open the door. Her face lights up when she sees him. "Vidcund, it's nice to see you again!" Grainne beams, her blonde hair shining in the sun, "Circe is in her room," she adds, stepping to the side to unblock the doorway.

"Great. Thanks," Vidcund replies, doing his best to sound excited. Vidcund rounds the stairs and heads to Circe's room in the back corner of the townhouse. He stops at Circe's closed bedroom door, which has a biohazard sign taped on the center of it. Vidcund sighs, his body shaking as he reaches towards the doorknob. Finding his inner strength, Vidcund grips the doorknob and bursts into the room. A startled Circe jumps up from her desk and steps back, holding her hand up to her chest.

"Vidcund! What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't you knock anymore?"

"No," Vidcund fires, giving her a firm glare, "knocking is for spineless wimps!" he shouts, scanning Circe over, who is clearly taken aback, "If I see a closed door, I just barge right through. The rules don't apply to me!"

"Ookay," Circe says, stepping away from him slightly, "Vidcund, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm excellent. Never been better in my life!" Vidcund screams, the volume of his voice causing a few birds perched on the outside windowsill to fly away. "Face it, Circe, I'm a man who takes what he wants, when he wants," Vidcund begins, pacing towards her, "What do you think of that?" he asks, stopping in front of his girlfriend and narrowing his eyes at her.

Circe grins, "I love it!"

"You do?!" Vidcund squeaks, a look of pure horror forming on his face.

"Yes!" Circe replies, her grin getting bigger by the second, "Honestly, you were acting so wussy before, I was going to dump you. But now that I've seen this new take-charge side of you, I don't want to!" she proclaims, wrapping her arms around Vidcund. She pulls him towards her and starts planting kisses on his face. Vidcund freezes, drenched in shock as his horrified look remains.

Later that Afternoon

An hour later, Vidcund steps into his place of residence and autonomously shuts the front door, his face visibly stunned. Vidcund's hair and clothes are askew, and he has deep, red lipstick marks all over his face. Vidcund lets out a heavy sigh as Pascal walks over to him.

"So, are you guys broken up?" Pascal wonders, seemingly pleased with himself.

Vidcund shakes his head, his eyes wide. "No," he mutters.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Pascal calls out, unable to believe what he is hearing, "Did you do everything I told you to do?"

Vidcund blinks suddenly. "Yes," he answers.

"And…?"

"She liked it. She really, really liked it. She was all over me!" Vidcund cries, throwing his hands down.

Pascal watches as Vidcund flops face-first onto the living room sofa. "Geez! Since when are girls attracted to jerks?"

Vidcund groans into the sofa, lifting his head up when he hears Pascal approaching the edge of the couch. "Face it, Pascal, I'm stuck!" he chimes, "At this rate, I'll probably end up marrying her! And now I'm for sure going to have to take her to prom!" he moans, flopping his face back down into the pillow.

Pascal crosses his arms and shakes his head at his little brother. "Come on, Vid, we can still fix this. We just have to resort to Plan B," he concludes, sitting down on the nearest armrest.

"What's Plan B?" Vidcund asks, Pascal's plan peaking his interest slightly.

"Well, if we can't get Circe to dump you for a being a jerk, then we'll just have to get her to leave you for an even bigger jerk!"

Vidcund nods, sitting up on the couch and turning to Pascal. "But who do we know who's an even bigger jerk than jerky me?"

Pascal and Vidcund simultaneously gaze out the big living room window and turn their attentions to across the street, where Loki is standing in front of a little girl's lemonade stand. They watch as Loki takes a sip of the lemonade, only to spit it out in the child's face.

"Ack! You call this lemonade?!" he outbursts, "I've peed better crap!"

Pascal and Vidcund watch the display unfold for a few more seconds before turning to one another and exchanging knowing glances. Pascal nods, seemingly giving Loki his stamp of approval.

"I don't know, Pascal," Vidcund begins, voicing his opinion, "Are you sure we want to push Circe into dating Loki?" he wonders, "I don't think I'd wish that atrocity on my worst enemy!"

"Relax, it's not like it'll go anywhere," Pascal assures him, brushing away the thought, "They'll be done with each other by the end of the week! But you're still going to have to take her to prom, though."

"That's fine, as long as that's the end of us," Vidcund replies, pulling his legs up, "So, what's the plan?"

One Week Later

"Alright kids, scooch together now!" Glarn instructs, gesturing Vidcund and Circe towards the center of the foyer. Vidcund is dressed in a white tuxedo, while Circe is wearing an elegant green, floor-length dress. "Perfect!" Glarn states, snapping a few more photos of the couple, his son's half-assed smile making Vidcund appear rather nauseated. Glarn puts his camera down as Pascal steps into the hallway. "Great! Have fun you two."

Circe squeals and grabs Vidcund by the arm. "Oh, I'm so excited!" she declares, "This is going to be the best prom ever!" Circe chimes, wrapping her arms around him.

Vidcund looks to Pascal in distress. Pascal flashes him the okay sign. 'It'll be fine,' he mouths before Circe drags Vidcund out the doorway.

…

Twenty-five minutes later, Pascal and Vidcund are hiding in a faux bush at the Strangetown Banquet Hall preparing to put their plan in motion. "Any sign of jerky boy?" Vidcund asks, attempting to peer around the bush with his brother.

"Not yet," Pascal concludes, staring into his set of black binoculars, "But my scientific intuition says he'll be here any minute."

"That doesn't even make any sense," Vidcund claims, clearly puzzled.

"Hey! What is Renee doing here?" Pascal wonders, his binoculars zooming in on the brown, short-haired townie who is wearing a periwinkle sundress, "When I asked her out last year, she told me she was allergic to prom!"

"Uh, yeah…can we focus here, Pascal? I would like to not have a girlfriend by the end of the night," Vidcund reminds him, a sharp, beeping sound ringing out next to him. Vidcund turns to the left slightly, only to find Lazlo hiding in the bushes next to them a few feet away. "Hey, what is Lazlo doing here? He's not even in high school!"

"Yeah…Dad told me I had to watch him," Pascal informs him, carefully placing down his binoculars. "God! Where is that arrogantly attractive asshole?" he asks, completely oblivious to Lazlo wandering off behind them.

Vidcund shifts uncomfortably in place. "Man, I really have to pee."

"Relax, you can do that later!" Pascal assures him, brushing away the thought as he continues to look through his binoculars. "Damn it, Loki! Where are you?"

"I really can't hold it in anymore, Pascal, I'm going to head to the bathroom," Vidcund tells him, standing up in place and heading towards the bathroom.

Pascal rolls his eyes, "Psh, what a wimp!" he states.

Vidcund makes his way across the room, doing his best to dodge his classmates. Vidcund is just about to reach the bathroom, when someone steps to the side and blocks his path, a smug look plastered on his face.

"Hello Vidcund," Loki coos, scanning the look of discomfort that his rival is sporting.

"Loki!" Vidcund shouts, talking loud in the hopes of getting Pascal's attention, "What are you doing here? You don't have a date!"

"Says who?" Loki remarks, "I'll have you know, I had no problem finding someone who was dying to go with me-"

"Lokikins!" Gundrun proclaims, walking up behind her son with a plate of cheese in hand, "I found the cheese squares!" she chimes, holding them out to him, "I didn't get the cheddar ones cause I know they hurt your tummy."

Loki growls and stomps his foot. "Damn it, Mom! Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?" Loki scolds her. Next to him, Vidcund looks as though he is going to burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll just wait in the corner," Gundrun says, backing up into a corner a few meters away. Loki groans as Gundrun continues to smile and wave at him.

Loki turns to Vidcund and gives him an icy glare. "If you laugh, I'll kill you," he threatens.

Vidcund chuckles a bit as he positions his hand slightly over his mouth, barely able to contain himself. "I'm still going to laugh anyway," he states.

"Vidcund, there you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Circe calls out, positioning herself between the two men, but only facing Vidcund. "Why are you ditching me?" she wonders.

"Uh…" Vidcund begins, nervously eyeing the bathroom, "Look, can we talk about this later? Cause I really have to go."

"No," Circe snarls, crossing her arms, "We're going to talk about this now," Circe brutishly reiterates, "This is unacceptable behavior from someone who is supposed to be my boyfriend!"

"Circe-"

"Don't 'Circe' me!" Circe yells, pointing her finger in Vidcund's face, "You're one bad action away from me dumping you! You're just lucky your idiot brother isn't here to mess things up for you!"

As if on cue, Pascal races over to Vidcund, clearly in a panic. "Vid! I lost Lazlo!" Pascal exclaims, grabbing onto his brother in anguish, "If we don't find him, Dad is going to kill me!"

"And that would be bad because…?" Loki comments, giving a sassy smirk, his arms crossed over his torso. Pascal knocks him in the side, "Hey!" Loki chimes.

"Vidcund, this is serious. You have to help me!" Pascal cries, grabbing Vidcund by the shoulders and shaking him back and forth.

"But-but-" Vidcund replies, turning towards the bathroom. He notices the helpless look in Pascal's eyes and sighs, clenching his bladder tighter. "Alright."

"So, where did you last see him?" Vidcund asks, both brothers running at top speed as they take off down the hallway.

"I don't know, Vid, that's why he's lost!" Pascal snaps, his tone getting more fearful by the second. Pascal reaches the main banquet room and pushes open the double doors.

Vidcund and Pascal gaze around the dimly-lit room, which is decorated to resemble Twikkii Island during the nighttime. Pascal scans the area, his eyes stopping on the wooden dance floor, which takes up over fifty percent of the room. "There!" Pascal cries, gesturing to Lazlo, who is swaying in the center of the dance floor, dancing with the popular girls.

"Lazlo! Lazlo!" Pascal calls out, racing over to Lazlo with Vidcund and pulling him into a smothering hug. "Thank God we found you!"

"Pascal," Lazlo whines, "You're embarrassing me in front of my new friends!"

Pascal looks up, finding a crowd of teenaged girls wearing flashy, stylish dresses surrounding them. "Is this your brother?" the blonde girl with a bright pink dress states. Pascal nods, "He's soo cute!"

"Like me?" Pascal beams.

The girl lowers her eyebrows. "No."

Pascal shrugs and nudges Vidcund in the shoulder. "Well, I tried," he states, releasing Lazlo from the hug. Suddenly, Pascal steps forward and sniffs the air, a familiar scent enticing him. "Oh my gosh! Are those mini cannolis?!" Pascal exclaims, his outburst sounding more like a statement than a question. Before anyone can answer him, Pascal races over to the table and starts stuffing a pile of desserts into his mouth.

Vidcund blinks a few times, deeply bewildered, before walking up to Pascal and staring up at the centerpiece on the table. The centerpiece is a mini replica of a Twikkii Island idol, complete with a fully-functional torch.

"Well, this has fire hazard written all over it," he notes, staring up at the bright orange flame. Vidcund gazes at the fire some more, the rich orange color causing him to feel rather sad as it resembles the hair color of the very girl he is avoiding. "Oh, what am I doing?" Vidcund vents, "I can't dump her! I would be lost without Circe!" he realizes, stepping back towards the exit, "I gotta get her back before it's too late!"

Meanwhile, Circe and Loki are standing in the main lobby, awkwardly waiting for the Curious brothers to return. "I just can't believe Vidcund would ditch me again!" Circe cries, kicking an imaginary pebble on the ground, "Who does he think he is?!"

"Obviously a dumbass, but what else is new?" Loki responds, casually taking a step inward. "You're brilliant, Circe, and if Vidcund doesn't see that then he's an idiot," he tells her, folding his arms in front of his chest, "If you ask me, a guy of his caliber should be worshipping the ground you walk on."

Circe's face softens a bit as she stares up at her classmate. "Aww, thanks Loki. That's really sweet-"

"Please!" Loki interrupts, holding his hand out to stop her, "You don't have to thank me for telling the truth."

"Ooh!" Circe coos, turning away from him to fan the warm blush that is glowing on her face.

"Circe!" Vidcund calls out, racing over to his girlfriend and grabbing her by the hand. Circe turns and locks eyes with him. "I'm so glad I found you! I'm sorry about everything that happened earlier. With all that out of the way, we can be together now!"

Circe scans Vidcund over, eyeing the sheepish sincerity that is on his face before turning to Loki, who is glaring at Vidcund a few feet behind him. "I'm sorry, Vidcund," Circe states, "but I want a man who adores me, not someone who ditches me during prom to hang out with his brothers, or er…wets his pants," she adds, gesturing down at Vidcund's crotch.

Vidcund gazes down at his pee-stained white tuxedo pants before locking eyes with Circe and hastily covering his pants with his hands, positively mortified. "Oh God…" Vidcund cries, cowering behind the faux bush as Circe and Loki watch him from a few feet away.

"Yeah, let's get out of here," Circe tells Loki with a cringe, finding the situation more disturbing by the second. Circe loops her arm around Loki's and exits the banquet hall.

"Well," Vidcund mutters from the bush as he watches his girlfriend exit the premises with another man, "at least things can't get much worse-"

"Run, everybody, run! FIRE!" Pascal cries, racing out of the main banquet room with a crowd of screaming students following behind.

Vidcund's eyes widen as he springs up from the bush and speeds out of the room with his brothers, the venue bursting into flames a few seconds later.

…

The Curious brothers are walking down the Road to Nowhere fifteen minutes after the fire department arrived to hose down the building. Vidcund is hanging onto his shoes and is dragging his feet through the sand behind his brothers, the middle brother smelly and defeated from head to toe. Pascal cheerfully turns to Lazlo, who is once again playing on his Game Boy, before locking eyes with Vidcund and giving him an enthusiastic smile. "Well, it looks like everything worked out nicely," he begins, trying his best to sound encouraging, "Our plan worked! Circe dumped you, we got her and Loki together, and I only created a mild disaster!" Pascal beams, letting out a heartfelt sniff, "I'm so proud of us!"

Vidcund stops in the middle of their front lawn and glares at Pascal. "Remind me never to ask for your help with anything ever again," he grumbles before sliding his feet through the sand and stomping onto the front porch. Pascal follows close behind him, intrigued by his brother's behavior as he enters the house. Pascal trails Vidcund to his shared bedroom, where Vidcund slams the door in his face, locking him and Lazlo out of the room.

"He likes me!" Pascal states, moving his eyebrows up and down as he turns to his youngest brother. Lazlo rolls his eyes.