A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

As always, I can't thank you enough for reading this, and for reviewing if you do that. :)

It seemed forever before Kendall was finally alone with Logan in the quiet of his car. He closed his eyes and let out a breath, feeling the tension and excitement drain away.

"Tired?" Logan wondered.

"Not really. It just takes a lot out of me. I'm so glad I don't have to be at the studio in the morning."

"Yeah, I have to try to get to bed at a decent hour tonight since I'll be out late tomorrow. Carlos won't be happy about it, though."

"He's got a big day tomorrow, he'll understand. He might even be thinking the same thing."

"Maybe." Logan smiled as he pulled out of the studio lot. "He really loves sex."

"Oh, and you don't?"

Guilty, Logan smirked as he shrugged. "We can make it a quickie tonight. The problem is that once is never enough, we want to keep doing it all night."

"Jealous. But leave after the first time, that should keep you in line."

"He never wants me to leave, either." Logan didn't seem bothered by this in the slightest. "He makes me so happy, Kendall. I'm worried that his parents are going to change that somehow."

"Like try to keep you apart?"

"I don't know, we're both adults so technically they can't, but he respects their opinions so much. If they don't like me, or even if they do but don't want their son dating a guy, he'll have a hard time disobeying that. He worries about disappointing them constantly."

"That's rough," Kendall agreed.

"So as far as his parents are concerned, we decided to just let it ride and see how it goes. If we both feel that they'd be okay with it, we'll tell them. Otherwise, we're just best friends."

"Sounds smart. Just don't blow him where they might see," Kendall teased.

"Shut up."

Logan was laughing, though, Kendall glad he'd managed to amuse him. He felt bad knowing how difficult the following night would be for Logan. "Maybe I can talk Gustavo into letting me go early tomorrow, if you need a friend with you."

"I'd love that, but you have a show tomorrow night."

"Oh." Kendall had completely forgotten the results show. "Damn."

"I really appreciate the offer, though." Logan reached over to squeeze Kendall's hand in gratitude before returning it to the wheel. "I may need you when we get back, depending on how it goes."

"Done. Just text me. I'll let you know when I'm done with the show."

"Thanks. There's one other thing."

"What's up?"

"We were talking last night about his career, and...I hadn't thought about it but being gay in the wrestling world is not something to brag about. It makes a lot of the athletes uncomfortable, as you can imagine."

"Ah. I hadn't thought about it, either. But there's so much physical contact, I can see why that might be a problem."

"Yeah. So we need to keep us a secret."

"I thought you wanted to anyway. Wouldn't your uncle have a problem with you socializing with a resident?"

"Honestly he'd probably get over that. He knows you and I are friends now and rather than tell me to stop bothering you, like he did before, now he's asking me about you like he's excited to have a relative who hangs out with you."

"Typical."

"Right, because you're famous now. He actually encouraged me to get to know James better yesterday," Logan chuckled.

"Really? Doubt that would go over well; Diamond knows you and I are close."

"He's actually nice to me, though. I gave him a new key for Lucy's apartment the other day and he was cool with me."

Kendall's stomach twisted as he was annoyed for no reason. "Are you really allowed to just give out keys to other peoples' apartments without their permission?"

"No, I had to call her first to make sure it was okay. She told me if I gave him any trouble, I'd be sorry. Also threatened me again if I charged for it."

"Sounds like Lucy," Kendall laughed. "So you caved?"

"Nope, James covered the money. But he also made me swear to pretend that it was free if Lucy ever asks, because she said she'd kick my ass if I charged him for it and he didn't want me to suffer. I got the feeling the reason James asked for it instead of Lucy was because he knew she wouldn't be nice about it."

"Huh. That's actually...very James-like. Hates conflict."

"Yet played hockey."

"He's great on the ice," Kendall admitted grudgingly. "Probably the only time I ever saw him get aggressive was during games. He's really sensitive most of the time. As you saw with his performance tonight."

"Yeah, that was something," Logan commented. "He had every eye on him, and even choked me up a little at the end."

"What was that?" Kendall wondered. "I thought at first he was just playing the part but then he started crying."

"Which bothered you."

"Bothered me?" Kendall echoed. "In what way?"

"I could see you from my seat, and I watched you watching him. You wanted to comfort him."

Kendall said nothing, irritated that his feelings had been transparent. Or maybe it was just because Logan knew him.

"You were also extremely turned on watching him the first time."

"That was your fault," Kendall protested. "You got me hot before I went on and then I just stayed that way because I couldn't do anything about it. Don't go trying to make it about Diamond. He's not exactly ugly and I was horny, of course I'm gonna be turned on."

"Kendall, relax. Your defensiveness when I mention that makes me think there's more to it."

"There's not. I'm just horny all the time now and it's really fucking annoying because I have no one to help me with that and no time to even find someone to. James is my enemy and he ruined my life. He's the absolute last person I would ever consider being with. No matter how hot he looks in that leather jacket."

"Ah, there it is," Logan smirked. "I knew it was in there somewhere."

"Shut up. He looked ridiculous with his bangs swept back like that."

"The fact that it bothered you that much..."

"It didn't, Logan, but he looked stupid."

"I'm sorry, I thought you just said five seconds ago that he looked hot."

"Because I was horny and he was there. Parade any beautiful man past me when I'm horny like that and I'll think he's hot." When Logan contributed nothing, Kendall insisted, "I'm serious!"

"I know you are. I just can't help but wonder what would've happened if you hadn't moved away. If you two had been friends while you got in touch with your sexuality."

"Nothing would have happened, because he likes girls. End of story."

"Okay, you win that."

"Thank you. Can we stop talking about him now?"

"Yes. Let's talk about the new thing Carlos and I tried in the shower last night."

Kendall gladly agreed. While it did nothing to help his practically ever-present lust, it was better than focusing on James Diamond.

Carlos greeted Logan with a kiss that was long enough to get Kendall hot again as he remembered what it felt like, Logan returning it fervently before pulling away. "Let's not be rude."

"Please, he's loving it."

It was true, Kendall having been glued to every movement. "It's your fault, kissing me last week. Now it just turns me on."

"Like everything else doesn't," Logan pointed out, leaning over to kiss Kendall on the cheek when he looked embarrassed by the comment. "It's okay, I'd be the same way if I didn't have Carlos and had to watch you with someone else. I'm not judging you. Oh, Carlos! We kissed earlier, I was trying to get him revved up for his performance. Nothing major, but I wanted to make sure you knew so it isn't cheating."

Amused, Carlos asked, "Did it work?"

"Watch him and see for yourself. Come on guys, let's play this because Carlos and I need to get to bed early."

"Always impatient for sex," Carlos teased.

"This time we really do need to sleep." Logan pointed them both to the long sofa before disappearing into the kitchen as if he lived there.

"He's so funny," Carlos chuckled. He left the middle seat open for Logan, then changed his mind and hopped over to crowd Kendall. "Go with me on this."

"Wha—" It was all Kendall could get out before his mouth was smothered, Carlos working it open expertly so that Kendall gasped and gave in, his hormones as always eager for attention.

A throat clearing behind them had Carlos pulling away with a smirk. "Oh, Logan, by the way, we kissed. Just didn't want you to think we were cheating."

"Jerk," Logan commented affectionately. "You could've at least waited for me so I can watch."

Carlos laughed, Kendall wondering if he should apologize to Logan. "Um, sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Kendall, it's fine, he's just messing with me." Logan approached and passed Kendall a tall bottle of soda that he'd removed the cap from, Kendall drinking it down gratefully as it soothed his throat. Once Carlos had his own drink, Logan dropped between them and laid his head on Carlos' shoulder. "Really, Kendall. I'm not upset. He was making fun of me."

"No, I wasn't!" Carlos protested. He wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulders. "I just think you're so cute about it, wanting to make sure I don't think you're cheating on me. If I was worried about it, you'd know."

"Okay, good. Seriously, though, if you ever decide to do that again, wait for me so I can watch."

Kendall couldn't help but snicker. "Logan likes to watch. I guess that goes hand in hand with the research thing, though, right?"

"Exactly. Carlos, where's the remote?"

After that they settled in for the show, Carlos blown away by the difference in Kendall's performance and only distracted from that when the camera panned Logan at the close of it (this time they only had to watch that five times). He was less impressed with James' first song, saying it was adequate but that James "didn't really get warmed up until the last chorus, and by then it was over. He's talented, though. Nice to see a more aggressive side of him."

Kendall, meanwhile, was still annoyed by something he'd noted in the clips from James' rehearsal time. "It's dumb of him to let his girlfriend hang out at his rehearsals all the time. That's just going to distract him."

"I agree," Logan nodded. "She seems to be coaching him some, though, which is odd. You didn't see a lot of Hawk in those clips, did you notice?"

"Gustavo's constantly breathing down my neck," Kendall complained. "Why isn't Hawk doing the same with Diamond?"

Carlos suggested, "He must feel that James doesn't need much work. Or is fine to let Lucy handle it."

"She is a musician," Logan pointed out. "Explains why he went with a rock vibe, that song sounds more like something off her album."

Kendall frowned, recalling that Lucy had never answered his question about who did the song originally. Or did he even ask? While Carlos was forwarding through commercials, Kendall asked Logan to borrow his phone and then tried to look up some of the lyrics. "Am I doing this right?" he finally asked. "I can't find anything."

"What are you looking for?" Logan took the phone back, typing in a few lines from the song before trying a deeper search. "Nothing. Give me more lyrics."

"Uh..." Kendall thought back to what they'd just heard, recalling one line that had stuck with him because it was weird hearing the word "dear" out of James' mouth. "Forgive me dear for my misdirection. Has to be by a chick," he added. "No dude says 'dear.' Wait, it's called Why! She told me it's called Why. Possibly Why Part 2."

Logan kept searching, even asking Carlos to go back and play part of the video again, before shaking his head. "It's not here. Whoever wrote this song hasn't published it, or at least not in a public way."

Kendall blinked slowly. "But that's impossible. We're supposed to play songs that are popular. I mean, Lucy did say it's brand new, but...oh my god. She wrote it. It's the only thing that makes sense. Lucy had to have written that."

Carlos thought that over. "I can't imagine her calling anyone dear, though. Unless she's into chicks, which has crossed my mind before."

"She's dating James," Kendall reminded him.

"Doesn't mean she's never been with a girl."

Kendall couldn't argue that. "Kelly did pick an obscure song for me. I guess it's possible. But that feels like cheating. What if Gustavo wrote a song for me?"

Logan wondered, "Would anyone even know?"

"The producers must, we have to give them our songs at the beginning of each new week so they can approve them and make sure we don't accidentally do the same song. They had to submit that. It still feels like cheating."

"A song's a song," Carlos disagreed. "If it works for him, which...I'm not really convinced it did, even though he was obviously feeling the lyrics...then who's to say he can't sing whatever he wants?"

Kendall was forced to admit that Carlos was right, though it still didn't feel right to him.

"Maybe she didn't write it," Logan suggested. "His next song was a well-known one, so there's no need to jump to conclusions."

"Was this one better?" Carlos wanted to know.

"Yes." Logan grabbed the remote and pressed the button to make it play. "This one was intense."

They watched in silence as James sang to the love of his life, it being more powerful for the lack of distraction and the fact that though James didn't look into the camera often, when he did his pain showed deeply in his eyes. Kendall again felt the urge to comfort him, to go to him and ask if he was okay.

No one spoke until the show broke for commercial.

"Lucy ran out to him after that," Logan said softly. "He was a mess."

"Wow." Carlos' reaction was an echo of Logan's earlier sentiments. "Tell me again why you hate this guy so much, Kendall?"

"You know why. He ruined my life and—"

"Did he do it on purpose?" Carlos interrupted. "Because I can't imagine that guy hurting anyone on purpose."

"He did. Look, I'll admit that he probably didn't know he would be completely killing my career, but he did check me on purpose. He was trying to keep me from scoring and that's what you do."

"That's what you do," Logan repeated. "Is it maybe what you might have done in his place?"

"No. I play fair, and that's cheating. I don't check other players."

"Ever?" Carlos pressed.

"Ever. I mean, maybe once or twice when I didn't mean to, things happen fast out there on the ice and—"

"So why is it so hard for you to believe that it might've been an accident when he did it?"

Kendall glared at Carlos, hating him for bringing doubt into what he knew to be true. "It wasn't. He apologized for it, he knew what he did."

Logan's head swiveled over to stare at Kendall. "He apologized? You never told me that."

"Of course he did, what was he going to say when I showed up in a room full of people and basically accused him of it? He wasn't going to admit to doing it on purpose."

"When was this?"

"The original audition, when I went up against him. I beat him that day, which is why I'm here now."

Carlos shook his head. "I thought he auditioned in Boston. Didn't I hear that on the show last week?"

"He did," Kendall explained patiently. "We auditioned together in Minnesota, but he bombed so bad that he tried again with Hawk. I threw off his focus because I showed up to get even and steal his dream from him. He knew I knew it was him after the card he sent."

Now Logan actually shifted on the sofa to face Kendall. "Hang on. He sent you a card?"

Not wanting to answer that, Kendall looked away.

"No way, don't ignore me. When did he send you a card?"

"When I was in the hospital. That's how I knew for sure it was him, even though I'd already suspected it."

"And what did it say?" Logan asked.

"Just that he was sorry."

"And?"

"That's it. 'I'm sorry.' That's all it said."

"So let me get this straight." Carlos considered his words before continuing. "He checked you on the ice, which was possibly an accident—"

"It wasn't," Kendall interrupted.

"And even if it wasn't," Carlos pressed on, "he apologized to you for it later. Twice. Am I right?"

"Yes," Kendall sighed.

"But you needed revenge so badly that you messed up his first audition, and now that he's trying again, your goal is still to ruin him?"

"Carlos, it's not as bad as—"

"I'm not judging you," Carlos said quickly. "To be honest, I might've done the same thing in your position."

"Really?" Logan said. "You'd ruin someone's life on purpose?"

"Babe, look at it from Kendall's point of view. His life was over."

"It wasn't, though. Kendall, I know how much you loved hockey, but the way I see it is that your life was just beginning. It's a different life than you thought you'd live, but is it really so bad?"

Kendall shook his head, tired of the conversation and the way it was making him feel. Looking at his friends, he knew that Logan was right and it wasn't so horrible. "No, it's not that bad," he admitted. "It's just...not what I wanted."

"But I saw you tonight, you were having fun up there. You were excited! Even your mom said it was like watching you play hockey, that you were your old self again. Katie agreed. I mean, it's not what you wanted but it might be even better if you let it."

Kendall didn't want to hear this. He stood up, ignoring their pleas to stay. "Sorry, guys, it's not you. I'm tired and I'm cranky and James really...he threw me off tonight. I wasn't expecting to actually care about him ever again. I have to work with him at some point over the next week for our duet and I don't know what to say or how to act and I just...I need to go to bed."

Logan rose and pulled Kendall in. "I didn't mean to upset you. All I'm asking is that you think about the fact that there's a reason you're here. New friends, a new hobby that you like a lot more than you let on, and eventually someone to love. You wouldn't have found any of that in Minnesota."

"The thing is, I might have. I was going away to train with my favorite team, I would've made new friends and probably found someone to love there."

"But you wouldn't have met me," Logan smiled, leaning back so they could look into each others' eyes. "And I wouldn't be with Carlos right now, and you wouldn't know what it feels like to kiss a guy. You'd still be trying to date girls and failing because it isn't what you need." Logan placed a soft kiss to Kendall's lips. "You needed us and this place. And we needed you."

Kendall's gaze moved away from Logan to take in Carlos, who was nodding. "My man is smart, you know. He's never wrong."

"I love you guys," Kendall whispered. He hugged Logan tight, then opened his arms to welcome Carlos in once he approached. "I'm sorry I sound ungrateful."

"Go get some sleep," Logan urged. "We can get lunch tomorrow if you want."

"That sounds great. Night, guys."

Remembering the last time he'd taken the stairs to avoid Lucy but run into James instead, Kendall opted for the elevator. He was sure that Lucy was over her days of trying to ambush him and wondered if that's how she'd landed James.

The doors parted, Kendall about to step in when he locked eyes with the only occupant of the car and froze. James stared back at him in silence, for once not glaring, and Kendall automatically opened his mouth to ask James if he was okay but then remembered he wasn't supposed to care. The doors started to close, Kendall unsure what to do and James making no move to stop them, and before he could make up his mind, James was gone from view and the elevator on its way.

It was the bangs that had rendered him silent, Kendall later decided while stretching out under his blankets. The bangs had been messy as if a hand had worked them over; Kendall knew without a doubt who that hand belonged to.

James was Lucy's responsibility now, and it was her job to take care of him. Kendall would just have to learn to let her.

"Are you awake? I need you."

The text from Logan came in around ten, Kendall for once able to sleep in and rolling over in bed to pick up his phone and read it.

"Just now. What's wrong?"

"I just checked in his parents. When can we meet for lunch?"

"Give me a half hour."

It ended up being eleven before Logan could get away from the front desk. Kendall spent the time waiting in the lobby, politely greeting those who approached and resigning himself when some of the residents asked for pictures. He would never get used to this side of things and reminded himself it would only last another month before he was forgotten by the world. His goal would be reached by then, and he could walk away from fame.

At one point James swept through the room (or attempted to, as he too was stopped) with Lucy, a beach towel thrown over his shoulder. He looked relaxed in a tank top, board shorts, and flip flops, while Lucy was clad in her usual black boots and jeans. She'd at least ditched the leather jacket for once, Kendall noting that she seemed smaller without it. Spying him as she stood aside waiting for James, Lucy crossed the lobby to plop down in the chair next to Kendall.

"What are you smirking at?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Kendall shrugged. "I was just thinking that's the first time I've seen your arms."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Don't get used to it. He wanted to get some sun."

"Which is probably your idea of torture," Kendall teased.

Though she said nothing, her face showed agreement.

"Did you write that song?" Kendall suddenly asked, hoping to surprise the truth out of her. Instead, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"What song?"

"The one he sang last night. The first one."

"Why Pt. 2?" she smirked.

"Right."

"Nope."

Feeling slightly better about it, Kendall nodded. "Good. That would've felt like cheating."

"How would that be cheating? It's a real song."

"I don't know, I just...whoa, you might want to get over there. That girl looks like she's about to slip James her number."

"Ha," Lucy laughed. "I'd like to see how far she gets with that. Your little boyfriend is looking over here, should I kiss you and make him jealous?"

Kendall glanced over at the front desk, where Logan was just looking away. "I told you, he's not my boyfriend. And we're done with all that, right? You're not gonna get me alone in the elevator anymore and...you know."

"Aww, do you miss it? Kendall, I'm flattered, I didn't know you cared."

Her voice was sugary sweet yet somehow so mocking that Kendall rolled his eyes. "I do not miss it! I'd just like to know that I can ride the elevator in peace."

James' gaze swept the room in search of Lucy, stalling when he spied them together. She stood up and replied, "You can't ever be too careful, Kendall. Watch your back."

He watched her stride back to James, who spared Kendall no more than a hostile gaze before taking her hand and leading her out to the pool area.

"Whatever," Kendall muttered. Catching Logan's eye, he sighed when his friend pointed to his watch and held up five fingers. Suddenly Kendall wanted to be anywhere but here.

They walked separately to a fast-food restaurant on the corner of the block, both wary of giving Lucy more ammunition. Kendall arrived first and ordered, Logan joining him just as he was returning to the table with their food.

"I don't know why I asked for all of that," Logan sighed. "My stomach won't settle down."

"Eat," Kendall commanded, pushing a chicken sandwich toward him. "I'm guessing you didn't even have breakfast."

"I didn't," Logan admitted, reluctantly unwrapping his food. "I was just so nervous!"

"And? How did it go with them?"

"Okay, I guess. They were nice. His mom knew who I was."

"Really?" Kendall asked as he bit into a juicy burger. "So Carlos has talked about you?"

"He told them that I'd be going along tonight, as his 'best friend.' That's all they know for now."

"Right. So they were cool with you?"

"His mom kind of gushed over me, like 'Oh, so you're Logan!' Now I want to know what all Carlos has said."

"Ask him."

"He's busy training. His dad had to be reminded that I'm the friend who's going to be spending the evening with them, but he was nice. Shook my hand." Logan set the foil-wrapped sandwich down after one bite. "Strong grip. He could probably crush me with his bare hands."

"Logan, stop," Kendall chuckled. "No one's going to crush you. You're a wonderful person and they should be happy that Carlos found someone like you."

"Sure, except for the fact that I'm a guy. If I was a girl, I'd have it made."

"Eat." Not satisfied until Logan picked up his food again, Kendall continued, "It's not going to matter once you win them over. Tonight will be a perfect opportunity for you to get to know them, and I'm sure they'll love you. When you guys feel it's right, you can tell them the truth. Isn't that what you agreed on?"

"Yeah," Logan sighed. "I'm just so worried they won't like me."

"Sounds like Mrs. Garcia already does."

"True," Logan was forced to admit with a tiny smile. "She told me not to make plans for after Carlos' show because we're all going out to dinner to celebrate."

"See?" Kendall grinned. "You're already part of the family!"

"But what if it all changes when they find out the truth? Suddenly I'm a guy wanting to take advantage of their little angel."

"Don't worry about that. Just focus on how happy Carlos looks every time you use the word 'boyfriend.' When you introduced him to Kelly as that, he smiled so big I thought his face would freeze that way."

Logan shook his head. "That was stupid of me, I don't know why I said it. She wouldn't tell anyone, right?"

"No, I made sure she knows to keep it under wraps. She's trustworthy. But you're missing the point. Remember last week when you made some comment about how people might figure out you're dating and it didn't bother you to be seen together? His face lit up, dude!"

"I know, but that was before it all sank in. He realized later that he has to keep it a secret. And I'm glad he did, I wouldn't want to get in the way of his career. For now there's no choice."

"And are you okay with that? Honestly? Does it bother you that he'll probably have to give interviews and state that he's single? That he's going to have female fans throwing themselves at him?"

"I don't know," Logan answered. "As long as I know he doesn't want any of them, it's fine. But he did date girls before, and there's no guarantee he won't do it again. Shit, Kendall, what if I lose him? I can't compete with all that."

"Logan, calm down. You're not going to lose him." Kendall reached across the table to squeeze Logan's hand, leaving his own on top. "He's crazy about you, anyone can see it."

"Which isn't necessarily a good thing," Logan fretted. "If we're found out, his entire career could fall apart. Sometimes I think I should just break up with him now and spare him that agony."

"Stop it." Kendall gripped Logan's hand tighter. "Right now. He loves you and that would be the worst thing you could do for him. Where would his focus be then? You're so worried about his career that you're not thinking about his heart. You make him happy, Logan."

"Happier than wrestling?"

"If wrestling was enough to fulfill him on its own, he wouldn't have gone after you. Hockey was all I needed for my whole life. Think about it. I never even thought to look at anyone or anything else. It isn't like that for Carlos, he needs someone to share it all with."

"So did you," Logan countered. "You just didn't know it."

"I didn't. I was happy. I had everything I needed. And now I have nothing."

"Shut up, we just went through this last night. You've got more than you realize." Sliding his hand free from Kendall's, Logan snagged some fries as his appetite returned. "What were you and Lucy talking about?"

"Nothing really. I asked her about the song; she says she didn't write it but I never know if I can believe her. She also called you my boyfriend again."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Why is she so stuck on that?"

"Probably because she needs to believe that for her ego since she can't seem to understand why I wouldn't want her. It's easier to just assume I don't like girls."

"Except that she saw you with Camille."

"Explain something to me," Kendall begged, mind recalling their earlier conversation. "Why would she continue to mess with me and hint that I need to watch my back if she's dating James? Why can't she just be normal and ignore me?"

"When did she hint that?"

"Today. I wanted to make sure I don't have to worry about that anymore and instead of reassuring me all that's over, she told me to watch my back. She did this while James was watching us and looking pissy. Is she still just playing us both?"

Logan shook his head. "She's crazy. We already knew that, don't stress yourself out trying to figure out her motives. Remember, she gets off on confrontation."

"I thought that was me."

"No, you get off on challenge. It's a little different. Like when Diamond tells you to fuck off right before you go on. It turns you on."

"It does not turn me on!" Kendall argued. "It pisses me off! Two totally different things!"

"Are you sure?" Logan smirked. "Because I saw your reaction when he did it. Didn't you also say you used to get hard before going up against him for hockey?"

"I told you, it's not about him! Stop making everything about him! It was the rush of hockey, of playing in the state championship every year, that was what I lived for! And okay, sure, maybe part of it was taking him down, because each time it was his team I was up against. He was the captain. I admit that I got off on crushing him every time. He was my toughest opponent."

"So it was personal," Logan pointed out. "What you wanted most was to take him down, as you put it."

"But not because of who he is. I would've felt that way about anyone I was going up against."

Logan set down his empty wrapper, having polished off the sandwich, and crossed his arms over his chest to study Kendall. "What I don't get is that he was your best friend growing up. Is that accurate?"

"For like two years. When we were barely old enough to know what friendship was."

"Okay, but still. There had to be some kind of bond there, right? I mean, you cared about him."

"Of course I did, he was always being picked on. I couldn't just let that go and leave him to be bullied."

"No, you wouldn't," Logan smiled. "You're a knight through and through. And I know that watching him sing that song last night, the one where he cried, brought back some of those protective feelings."

Unwilling to admit anything, Kendall asked, "What's your point?"

"My point is that I don't get how you could just shut those feelings down when you moved and completely stop caring for him."

"Logan, it was a different life, he was fine on his own and it wasn't like I had control over it anyway, okay? We had to move. My mom was dying inside."

"I know, that's not what I'm saying. I guess I just...how do you look at him now and hate him? How do you just not care after being his friend for years?"

"Because he ruined me. Did you forget that?"

"I mean before all that, Kendall. I know why you're angry and that you blame him for all of it. But even at the games? How often did you see him before you moved here?"

"Once a year," Kendall readily replied. "Every championship game. That's the only time my team went up against his, it was for the state."

"And there was never any like...hi? Or 'How are you?' Not even 'good to see you'?"

"No. We were enemies, facing each other in battle. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"I don't know, I guess because competition has never really been my thing. I couldn't look at someone I'd been friends with and not see that person. You look at him and only see him as a rival."

"That's what he is."

"But he was so much more at one time."

"That's in the past. You have to let go of the past and move on. I learned that when we moved from my dad, Logan. I buried it all and never thought about that life again, because it hurt."

"And you buried him, too, because he was part of that life."

"Exactly. I did what I had to do. I had to survive."

Logan nodded slowly, Kendall watching as the wheels spun in his head and not wanting to know where they took him. "Look, can we just—"

"Um, excuse me?"

Both Kendall and Logan looked up in surprise to see two girls standing over them, one perhaps fourteen while the other might have been a few years older.

"Are you Kendall Knight?"

Kendall's mouth opened slightly in shock.

"He is," Logan answered for him, sensing that Kendall needed a moment to compose himself. One of the girls had a phone in her hand and Logan knew where this was going.

"Um, sorry to bother you, we just wondered if we could get a picture with you?" the older girl asked politely.

The younger one blurted out, "We voted for you last night! Even made our parents call in, too! You were so good!"

Finally finding his voice, Kendall managed, "Thank you. I uh...sure." He took a moment to wipe his greasy hands and mouth with a napkin, self-conscious suddenly about his eating habits. Had they been watching him? Even worse, had they heard anything he and Logan had been talking about? He stood up and moved between them, Logan graciously offering to take the picture with a barely-concealed smirk on his face; he was enjoying this immensely and Kendall might have to smack him later.

After two pictures with both and one with each girl, Logan handed the phone back. They thanked him, then turned starstruck gazes on Kendall and gushed that he deserved to win and they couldn't wait to watch tonight. Kendall thanked them again, bearing it gracefully when they hugged him before running back to their table in a mass of giggles.

"Not one word," Kendall warned as he and Logan slid back into the booth.

"Is it okay if I sit here with you? I'm not sure I'm worthy of your presence."

"Shut the fuck up. And stop laughing!"

"I'm not!" Logan protested.

"But you want to, and that's just as bad."

"Come on, that was adorable! Tell me it didn't feel good."

"It didn't. It was terrifying. Those girls don't even know me."

"But they connected with you," Logan reasoned. "They watched you and you touched their hearts with your voice. Think about that for a second. Your singing made them feel."

The concept baffled Kendall. All he'd been doing was competing in a contest. "I wasn't expecting all of this. I just wanted to win, to beat Diamond."

"I know, Kendall, but...don't ignore everything else along the way. You just made two girls incredibly happy. Doesn't that feel good?"

"I don't know, it's..." It was so foreign. He was nobody. "But why? They don't even know me," he said again. "Why does it make them happy to talk to me?"

"Because they like what they do know of you. They believe in you. They know nothing of your past other than what was said on the show. They watched you pour your heart into those songs last night. They're just two out of a million, Kendall. Every time you win, people are voting for you. Real people that you somehow inspired. Don't throw that away, it's so special."

Kendall didn't say much as they cleaned up their trash and prepared to leave, his head spinning with Logan's words. He honestly didn't know how to feel about any of it, but when they walked by the table on their way out, he did stop long enough to say goodbye and that it was nice to meet the girls.

He had to admit that the way their faces lit up made him feel pretty good.