In Which Magenta Tastes Forbidden Fruit. Chapter 12. Buy Some Time.
Ninety-Six Smiles, thank you, you always help so much!
And the Japanese that I use for Kimi talking to her family may not be accurate, sorry about that, I don't speak Japanese, so I used Google Translate... :(
Tokyo, Japan, 7:30 pm.
"Brad, wake up, we're here."
Brad opened his eyes to see Magenta and Kimi leaning over him,
"Should I poke him?"
"Don't."
"Are we there yet?"
"Yes."
...
New York, 9:00 am.
Steve was still walking through the halls after six hours, thinking about his brother. In Japan, with his skanky, dying wife and an even skankier student nurse who vaguely reminded him of an anime prostitute. He barely noticed the woman standing in front of him.
"Hello?"
"Um, hi, ma'am, are you lost?"
"I don't know..." The woman slurred seductively, "HI, I'm Juana, are you single?"
"Not sure, good luck with whatever..." Steve began to walk away,
"HEY, HEY, WAIT WAIT WAIT! I'm actually here to see someone, a patient. Nation McKinley?"
"Uh, what?"
"Nation McKinley! I'm a friend..."
Steve opened the door to Nation's room, Nation glanced up from her phone and jumped a few feet off her bed.
"NATTIE!"
"Oh... Mom!"
"MY LITTLE PRINCESS! Can you believe this cutie-patootie? He a doctor here?"
"No, he's a predator, fresh out of college."
"Where's your brother?"
"He's getting me another blanket, it's cold in here."
"Tell me about it, we're people, not polar bears, we can't function in a gall-darn icebox..." Juana glanced at Olivia, "Oh I'm sorry, I'm Juana McKinley, Nat's mom."
"Oh... okay, I'll leave you two." Olivia minced out of the room, as did Steve. Nation slapped herself in the face and Juana sat down on her bed,
"OH YOU SILLY GIRL! I TOLD YOU THOSE TANNING BEDS ARE TROUBLE!"
"Tanning beds?"
"You know, the cancer."
"Actually I didn't get mine from a tanning bed-"
"I'm not stupid, Nation Alyssa McKinley. Oh, remember when, ummm, when Tricia had cancer, she had... breast cancer... which is a shame, 'cause she had such a great rack, remember you used to do all those little exercises to make yours grow! And she had 'em cut off, both of 'em! And then, that Tricia, she had 'em re-built, or whatever, and they were at least ten times better, life gave her lemons, she made cantaloupes!"
Nation laughed nervously, "So how long are you in town?"
"Just until your cancers go away."
"What-"
"Nat, I've been absent for a while now, and you and Cosmo can't do it alone. So I intend to stay, now I hear Magenta's here too..."
"She's in Tokyo for her honeymoon, she got married."
"LITTLE MAGENTA ALVARADO GOT MARRIED?"
...
Tokyo, Japan, 8:00 pm.
...
Kimi ran ahead through the airport screaming. Her pink Shape-Ups pounded the linoleum floor. Magenta was holding her suitcase across her lap in her wheelchair and Brad had given her his jacket.
"WHERE IS THE CAB!"
"I think it's outside, Kimi."
"Get back here! People are staring." Brad snapped as Kimi's high-pitched screams woke copious babies in the airport, she glanced towards a window,
"OH CRAP! THE PARK HYATT TOKYO CAB! WE MISSED IT!"
"Ours isn't supposed to come until 8:30."
"WHAT IF IT CAME EARLY?"
"Kimi, calm down, go get yourself something sugary." Magenta handed Kimi however many yen would buy her candy at the little store in the airport.
"Thanks." Kimi ran away across the airport and skidded into the store. Magenta exhaled heavily, Brad gently touched her shoulder,
"Are you still feeling okay?" she rested her hand on top of his,
"I'm fine. Just a little tired, but that's fine."
"You're tired? Like how..."
"Like I have leukemia, Brad. It makes me tired, but I'll be okay, I promise." Magenta glanced at Brad and smiled, "Oh God, I forgot, Nat sent me a picture of her new tattoo, she got it after the reception." Magenta held up her phone, it was a picture of Nation's skin, Brad could see the waistband of a black thong and the tattoo. It was a teal cancer ribbon, it seemed to wrap around the scar from her hysterectomy.
"So... explain this to me. I'm not sure I get it."
"The teal ribbon is for ovarian and uterine cancers, basically everything involving... lady parts."
"Nice way of putting it, let's go get Kimi."
...
"COULD THIS CAB TAKE ANY LONGER?"
"Kimi, it's only been five minutes."
"What if we missed it?"
"Kimi, we didn't miss it."
"IT'S RAINIIIIIIIIING!"
"We know."
"COME ON... CAAAAAAAB! HURRY UP!"
Brad exhaled, exasperated, "Kimi, don't scream. I'm taking Magenta inside, you wait for the cab out here."
"All alone?"
"I can't let Magenta catch a cold, you should know, you're a nurse."
"I'm immunocompromised."
"Aaaaauuughh... Can I at least call Sonny?"
"Long distance? Be my guest."
Brad wheeled Magenta back inside, Kimi was left alone in the cold.
...
"You're shivering."
"I'm fine."
Brad laid Magenta down on their bed, Kimi had passed out hours earlier.
"Are you sure, I don't want you to get sick." Brad covered Magenta with the sheets, "You need to rest, okay?"
"Can we at least...?"
"I don't know, you look tired."
"You worry too much, baby."
Brad laid on top of Magenta's delicate body and gently kissed her forehead, "I just can't let anything happen to you."
Magenta smiled, "I understand, goodnight."
"I'll just be a second."
Brad got his MacBook from his bag and typed 'Tourist attractions in Japan' into Google. He clicked on the first result.
'The Children's Peace monument is located in Hiroshima, Japan. It was erected to commemorate Sadako Sasaki, who died at age 12 of radiation-induced leukemia from the Hiroshima bombing-'
It was impossible to escape. Leukemia was everywhere. On the internet, in Japan, in Magenta. It was impossible to escape. It was closing in. Brad slammed the computer shut, threw it onto the couch and shut his eyes, pulling Magenta closer.
The damn paper cranes could kiss his ass.
...
New York, 10:00 am.
"NATION McKINLEY, WILL YOU LOOK AT THE STATE OF THIS HOSPITAL ROOM?"
"Shut up..." Nation whined into her pillow,
"Why are you still asleep? Nat, we're a family of early risers. remember, when you were six, and Cosmo got up at four in the morning and complained that the sun was sleeping in? He broke a plate out of rage."
"Cosmo was insane. And he still is. He invited you here."
"No, Nat, I didn't."
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU. I'M TIRED."
"Well, of course you are, Nation."
"BE QUIET, MOTHER."
"Is that a tone? Are you using a tone with me?"
"Wow, family dynamics!" Olivia announced, walking into the room with a clipboard.
"Olivia, you're a doctor, can you have her removed?" Nation snapped.
"You wouldn't dare." Juana growled.
Olivia minced past, "Okay, you have a CT scan today, Juana, you know that it, right?"
"Well, I'm not stupid, Blondie. I wasn't born yesterday, I know what a CT scan is. I hope that Nat can just... get rid of them ugly-ass moles. She's been tanning again, I think..."
Olivia fell silent, "Nation... can you explain... the situation to your mother...?"
"Oh... okay."
"Good, Cosmo, if you can come with me, thanks."
Cosmo and Olivia left the room, Nation and Juana were left alone.
"What is she talking about, explain what?"
"...Mom, I don't have any moles. My cancer is on my ovaries. And in my blood."
"Well, you don't have skin on your ovaries, Kitten, that don't make a whole lot of sense-"
"No... uh, remember when Grandma had that... tumor on her lung?"
Juana nodded, "Grandma died...Nation! You have a mole! That's it! That's all..." Juana's voice trailed off, tears began to form in her eyes,
"Okay, Mom, please, what I have is nothing like what Grandma had- I'm fine-"
"NAT-"
"I'm sorry, I should have told you- I-"
Juana stared Nation in the eyes, "If you don't get better, Nation Alyssa McKinley, I will personally see to it that-" Juana's tears came rushing back and she collapsed across Nation's body.
"Mom, listen, tomorrow I'm having a CT scan, to see if I've metastasized, if I haven't, I'm fine-"
"What if you have?"
"Then Olivia will fix it."
Juana was silent. "And to think, I thought she was a dumb blonde..."
1:00 pm
Nation woke up to see Olivia, Cosmo and Juana standing over her,
"You're all here again..."
"You need a CT."
"Right... okay..."
"Don't worry, Kitten-Cat!" said Juana, "I bet those... mats are just gonna be... teeny-tiny!"
"It's mets." Cosmo corrected, "Like in metastasis."
"Oh, like baseball!"
"Sure. Okay." Nation began to get out of bed, Olivia took her hand. "You really shouldn't get your hopes up."
"Nat, sweetheart, that's like telling lions not to... kill them little deers they like to eat."
...
"If these scans aren't good, I swear to God-"
"Nat, stop, your scans are going to be fine."
"How do you know?"
"You've been improving, it's obvious-"
"But how are you going to explain it to... her... if they're not?"
"I won't have to."
"These scans better be good... they better be..."
...
2:00 pm
"Good news!" Olivia announced a few hours later, "The mets are almost gone!"
"Seriously?" Juana jumped up, "OH BABY! YOU'RE GETTING BETTER! You make your mommy so proud, wait till I tell Tricia! I'll go call her now!" Juana ran into the hallway, Nation and Cosmo both glanced at Olivia,
"What did the scans really show?" Nation whispered,
Olivia took a deep breath, "Well, your mets have shrunk, substantially, but, uh, there are new, different mets."
Cosmo sat next to Nation and held an arm around her shoulders, "Where are they?"
"Nat, they're in your cervix."
"No-"
"It's okay, we caught it early, and we start aggressive chemo and radiation tomorrow. So be sure to get lots of sleep tonight, you're going to need to keep your strength up."
"...Are you going to tell her?"
"Eventually. I think she needs a little time though, hearing that your daughter is developing cervical cancer is never easy to hear, I think, if you start to get a lot worse, I'll call her in Denton, but right now, it's our secret."
"So, how is my treatment going to be from now on?" Nation squeaked, Cosmo pulled her closer,
"Strenuous. It really will be debilitating, you'll need to be on IV supplements, you'll be in pain, seemingly all the time, the burns from the radiation will become pervasive, but we will be able to make your recovery easier, we'll put you on painkillers, and you will be able to rest in between treatments." Olivia handed Nation her iPhone, "I want you to call Magenta in Japan, she knows what this feels like, she can help."
"Okay. Thank you, Olivia."
...
Tokyo, Japan, 3:00 am.
"Okay, Nat, I'm so sorry, do you need me to come home? Okay, see you in two weeks, get better..."
Brad was woken up by Magenta's hushed voice next to him. She was sitting up in bed on her phone, she put the phone down and broke into violent tears. Brad sat up, gently rubbing her back in slow circles,
"What is it? What did Nation say?"
"It's in her cervix now, the cancer spread."
"Oh, God-"
"Her mother is at the hospital, she thinks Nat's getting better, but-"
"Ssh... ssh... She'll get better. I promise."
Magenta glanced at Brad, "You're right, I'm going to make breakfast."
"At three?"
"We can get up before Kimi."
"You're sure you're not too tired...?"
"I'm okay, baby, how about I just get room service?"
"The hospital's paying, let's do it."
...
Magenta had fallen back asleep after a while, Brad let her sleep, just staring at her. His wife, his wife, with the plastic tubes in her nose and the dark circles under her eyes. Even when she was so sick, she was beautiful.
Magenta stirred and Brad brushed the hair out of her face.
"Good morning, baby."
Magenta looked up and smiled,"What time is it?"
"It's about five."
"Mmm, still early, where's Kimi?"
"We don't have to worry about her for a while."
Brad smirked and began to undo Magenta's bra in the back, instead she leaned into his contact and stayed there. It was obvious that she was tired.
"...you look beautiful..." Brad squeaked, Magenta leaned back,
"Do you think I should call Nat?"
"If you really feel like you need to, but-"
"Cosmo? Is Nat there? She is...? How far in is she? Is your mom gone? That's good, you and Nat need to be alone. So how long does she have until it's done? Okay, tell her to call me if she feels alright when it's over... Bye."
"Did you ask how long she has to live?"
"God no, she's in radiation, I asked how long it would be until it was over." Magenta paused, "...We don't know if the treatment will work. It's twice every day now, four treatments in a day, no human being can survive that, I don't know what they're thinking..."
Brad pulled Magenta closer and gently stroked her hair, "You know, Nat's a bitch, she's an entitled, loud-mouthed bitch, but I love her just as much as you do, and I know that she wants to make it. For us."
"Nat may be a bitch." Magenta smirked, "But you're conceited. And it's hot."
New York, 6:30 pm
"Nat, Magenta called."
"She what?" Nation laid down, "When?"
"Around five, do you feel okay?"
"I think I can make a damn phone call." Nation picked up her phone and speed-dialed Magenta, "Brad, is Magenta there? Okay, put her on... Genta, hi, yeah, I'm fine. No, I'm okay, I promise. Yes, of course, really? That sounds kickass! I love you, bye." Nation hung up, "She's the happiest she's ever been."
"I'm sure she's been-"
"Cosmo, she's been sick since she was two, I don't think she has." Nation fell silent, her face darkened,
"What's wrong?"
"We can't get married... I mean, what's the point, it's not like I have much time left anyway-"
"Nation, stop. Please."
"YOU'RE IN DENIAL!" Nation half-sobbed. "YOU KNOW I'M DYING!" Nation dried a few tears as they escaped down her face,
"Don't do this, baby." Cosmo whispered, "It's not worth it because you're not dying..."
"God, that's what you always say. And I always metastasize after that. You really need to s-"
Cosmo cut Nation off by laying down on top of her, placing gentle kisses across her face,
"All your hair's gone but you're just as beautiful..."
"Don't fucking lie to me."
"I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"Shut up, Nat." Cosmo tore the hospital gown off his sister's pale shoulders, Nation's chest shuddered as she began to hyperventilate,
"...you slut..." Nation squeaked, smirking a little bit,
"You were asking for it, I'm only a slut because you're too beautiful to pass up, okay?"
"Be quiet, you slutty liar."
"So now I'm a liar too?"
"You're a sexy liar, so- ahhhhh..."
"I'm gonna...-" Cosmo was interrupted as Olivia opened the door,
"OH GOD! THIS IS A HOSPITAL, PEOPLE!"
"We have clothes on..."
"Nat, he's stripping you."
"Get used to it, we're incestuous for a reason."
"I'm never going to get used to seeing the two of you in bed together. Nation, you have another chemo session in fifteen minutes."
"What?"
"I'm sorry, I really am-"
"No, it's fine, I just-" Nation coughed violently, holding a hand over her mouth as blood ran from between her fingers.
Tokyo, Japan, 7:30 am.
Kimi went into Brad and Magenta's room and found them both still asleep. Brad had his arms wrapped around Magenta in a protective way, her face was buried halfway into his shoulder. Kimi stared for a while until Magenta opened her eyes.
"Kimi? Why're you-"
"I, uh, left something in here." Kimi dropped a dime out of her pocket and picked it up, "Found it."
"Great."
There was a moment of silence before Kimi fled the room.
...
"Brad, wake up."
Brad opened his eyes to see Magenta leaning over him, her hair spilled into his eyes, he pushed it back,
"Good morning, how early is it?"
"About 7:30, we need to go."
"Go where? It's early."
"Dialysis, we're late."
Brad smirked, "No, we're not, we're not in New York anymore."
Magenta exhaled heavily. "We need to go. I need to have dialysis so I don't die."
At the mention of the D-word, Brad got out of bed and started to get dressed.
...
8:00 pm
"This is wonderful." Brad bitched in the cab back to the hotel from the hospital, "Our first day in Tokyo and she has dialysis."
Magenta glanced at him and smiled a little, "It's fine, I don't mind."
"You're not tired?"
Magenta shook her head, "I'm okay."
Kimi smirked behind her magazine.
...
"Arigato, Ichiro-kun. Damare! Kare no bokkusu ni kare o modosu, ANATA BAKA!"
"Who was that?"
"My brother, Ichiro, I have family here, you know."
Brad was silent for a second, "What about room service?"
"I can run down. To the restaurant, I mean, y'all should have a few minutes alone at least. Where is Magenta, anyway?"
"Shower, I checked on her, she's fine. You were on the phone, screaming at your brother."
"Shut up." Kimi tittered. "I'm going downstairs." She left just as Magenta opened the bathroom door,
"Where's she going?"
"To get dinner."
Magenta smiled a little, sitting down on the couch, it was then that Brad noticed she was only wearing a towel. Her red curls spread across her shoulders. She looked astoundingly healthy, or maybe the hot water had just put a little bit of colour back into her skin, however, the look on her face was healthy-looking, she was smiling, but something was there that hadn't been there for a long time.
"So, we have 13 days left in Japan, I say we make the most of it..." she whispered, and all at once she dropped the towel.
"Sex before dinner-"
"Yeah, you're right, we should wait..." Magenta wrapped herself up again, "What's Kimi getting?"
"No clue..."
"Oh, baby, I love you so much..." Magenta whispered, laying down across Brad's lap, he stroked her wet hair,
"I love you too, I'm so glad this happened..."
"You're all I want-" Magenta whispered as Brad laid down next to her, suddenly tears began to spill out of her eyes,
"What's wrong?"
"...I don't want to leave you..."
"You don't have to leave me..."
"But what if-"
"Nothing's going to happen, I promise."
"How can you make that promise?"
"I d-" Brad was about to answer when Magenta's phone rang, Magenta sat up,
"Fuck... oh shit." she got up and grabbed her phone, "Cosmo, hi, oh God, what- how- damn it..."
"What is it?" Brad whispered,
Magenta covered the receiver, "Nat's sick... do you need us to come home? Okay... how is she, can she talk to me? Okay, call me when she wakes up- she is? Okay, put her on... Nat, hi, you don't sound so good, it's probably just the chemo, it happens to me all the time, if you need me to come home just call me, okay? Alright, bye."
"How is she?"
"Not so good, she has a fever and a headache, and various other things, I don't know, I'm just worried about her, the treatment really affects her, I don't know, maybe even more than me. Because she's had more strenuous treatment..."
"She's fine."
"Brad... she's... I should call back..." Magenta dialed Nation's number, "...Nat, sorry, I just had to call back, how high is your temperature?"
New York, 8:40 pm.
Cosmo opened the door to the bathroom attached to the hospital room, his sister was lying in the bathtub in the cold water, her cheeks were still flushed and a small stream of blood was pulsing steadily from her nose.
"Nat...? Are you okay?"
Nation looked up, "I don't know..."
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
"...I don't want you to catch what I have."
"I think I'll take a chance." Cosmo sat down on the floor next to the bathtub. "Should I page Olivia?"
"No, it's not that bad." Nation whispered, "You're gonna have to get out of here, though, and hand me that towel over there."
Cosmo handed Nation a light blue towel and left. About two minutes later she opened the door and sat down on her bed.
"Do you feel any better?"
"I don't know..." Nation whispered, laying down, "I wanna die."
Cosmo sat next to his sister and brushed non-existent hair out of her face, "You're burning up, sweetheart, I think I need to page Olivia."
"Fine..."
Tokyo, 10 am.
Kimi woke up late, she was embarrassed at first, until she found Brad and Magenta still asleep together. Brad had dark red lipstick smeared across his face and Magenta's bra was unfastened. Kimi started to make some coffee and searched her bag for any candy, she found a roll of Sweet Tarts and dug in.
In short, Kimi was upset. She'd been up with Magenta the previous night, through a night of coughing and partial respiratory distress. Magenta was too sick to be out of hospital, she was too sick to be having sex every night. She was much too sick to still be alive.
Brad woke up all at once, gently lifting Magenta's arm from his shoulder, he got out of bed and sat down across from Kimi at the kitchen table,
"Do you know anybody with a mini-van? Maybe a Rondo?" (Kia Rondo, my family has one)
"Funny you should ask, my aunt just bought one, she lives across town."
"Well, I'm gonna need to borrow it, I don't have a tent and I don't want to make Magenta sleep on the ground."
"I don't know where you're going with this, and quite frankly, you're scaring me."
Brad was quiet, he glanced around and smirked. "I'm taking Magenta to the beach!"
"Wow. How fascinating. I can't wait to read more about it in your upcoming novel, 'The Day I Took My Sick Wife To The Beach and Got Punched In The Nose By A Student Nurse.', Are you crazy? You should be locked up someplace!"
"Don't worry, I'm not making her walk there, I need to borrow your aunt's minivan, I'm planning on car-camping. I've wanted to do it since I was twelve!"
Kimi thought this over for a second, "...Fine. I'll ask my aunt."
"Thank you so much! We'll finally have time alone! Not that... we don't like having you around, we do, but-"
"Alright, shut up!"
...
Kimi's aunt's house was in a rich neighbourhood in Tokyo, it was blue and pink. A few cats were sleeping on the front steps. A middle-aged Japanese woman ran out onto the sidewalk,
"AH! MIKO-CHAN!"
"Kon'nichiwa, oba-Hiroko."
"Karare wa desu-ka?"
"Sorehada Brad, to kare no tsuma Magenta."
"Konojo wa kawaiidesu."
"What's she saying?" Magenta whispered,
"She's saying how pretty you are- oba-Hiroko, Brad wa anata no kuruma o kariru hitsuyō ga aru."
"Watashi no kuruma?" The woman nodded and smiled.
...
Brad packed the cooler into the trunk of Hiroko Tanaka's Rondo. Laying his MacBook on top of it, he closed the door. Kimi and Magenta came into the driveway,
"Okay, you have your medication, right?"
"Yes, I have everything I could possibly need. I actually think I'm overpacked..."
"I just don't want anything happening to you. I'll be at the hotel if you need me, my cousins are coming over, be sure to call my cell when you get there."
"Fine." Magenta sat down in the passenger seat. Brad drove away with Kimi waving in the parking lot.
...
In an hour and a half, Brad and Magenta had arrived on the beach, it was completely vacant, white-capped waves were slamming violently onto the warm yellow sand. The light was violently beating down so that the Rondo's dashboard burned on contact, a smile spread across Magenta's pale face,
"Brad... this is beautiful..."
"I knew you'd think this was a good idea."
Magenta smirked, getting out of the car and pulling her shirt off, then her skirt, "Let's go swimming."
"In the ocean?"
"What're you afraid of, sharks? Hurry up!" Before Brad could wrap his head around what was happening, his incredibly sick wife was physically immersed in... ocean, it was insane. Brad began to take his clothes off, within seconds, he was joining Magenta in the salty waves. "Get your ass over here!" Magenta screamed, Brad caught her as her delicate body slammed against his, he lifted her off her feet, their mouths coming together as a wave devoured them, with his hands travelling over Magenta's subtle curves, Brad pulled her closer, saltwater surged, dripping out of her beautiful red curls and streaming between their bodies.
Screw Hawaii, this was a dream honeymoon.
...
The sun was going down by the time Brad and Magenta got out of the water. They had walked halfway down the beach when Magenta's phone rang,
"Did you really feel the need to get your phone?"
"I just want to make sure I have it if anything happens to Nat." Magenta pulled her phone out of the middle of her bra, "Shit, it's her- Hello? God, Sonny! Well, how the hell am I supposed to know where your silver lamé pumps are? That sounds good, okay, I'll tell her. Bye, sweetheart."
"What'd he want?"
"Well, he couldn't find his favourite shoes, Nat's fine but Cosmo started drinking again... and he referred to Kimi as 'The Hot Fox With The Crispy Bangs'."
"That's attractive..." Brad glanced at Magenta's right hand, the one he wasn't holding, a few chunks of beach glass were visible next to the white skin of her palm, Brad had seen the tiny jars full of it on her nightstand at the hospital. Magenta leaned her head into his shoulder,
"I love you so much... And this is even more than I asked for, it's hard to believe... I mean, I wasn't supposed to live past the age of six at the most, I'm so glad I did now, because I could die tomorrow but it won't matter because I could be with you for the last n-"
Brad silenced Magenta by pulling her into a forceful liplock that effectively shut her up. As he shoved his tongue down her throat, he pleaded with an unknown person that this wouldn't be the last night.
...
Brad was beginning to lay down when he noticed the amount of pills Magenta had. It was weird, like she was trying to overdose.
Magenta put the cap back on a canister of ATRA and closed the bottle of sleeping pills.
"I'm done."
"You took everything?"
Magenta nodded, "Are you seriously asking this question?"
Brad paused for a second, Of course I'm asking this question. I don't want to lose you...
Magenta opened the laptop and turned on the Toddlers and Tiaras Season 4 DVD that Sonny had given Kimi for their 2-month anniversary, "It's so trashy..." she smirked, Brad laid down next to her and she buried her face into his shoulder, "If I fall asleep, don't wake me."
...
Brad was wired for the rest of the night. Like a two-year-old that had had too many donuts. Televised pageants and stress never mixed well. Magenta had fallen asleep at about the sixth episode. As he was staring at her, Brad started to wonder about the past few months. In September, when he had first seen her in the hospital, he didn't really understand the seriousness of what was happening. That was when he thought cancer was one single disease that killed everyone in it's path. It was when he didn't understand the process of radiation and before he had fallen unconditionally in love with her. She had been through hell in the first three years of her life, let alone the next twenty, twenty-three years that she would never get back. He remembered the way she had been treated in high school, the way people had thrown her around, taunted her, threatened to pour miscellaneous liquids into her central line.
This wasn't a life that anyone deserved. Nobody deserved to need aggressive treatments to make it through a year, or having to live in a hospital with little to no firsthand experience of the outside world, nobody, let alone Magenta, who had done nothing wrong in her life, deserved to be in constant pain, or terrified of death every waking minute of their existence.
Brad began to wonder if it was all worth it, all the treatment, countless hospital visits, pain, tears that had been shed, everything that had happened. All he had wanted was her, he loved her, when you love someone, you want their life to be worth living. But leukemia can really fuck up your plans.
Brad began to think about how easy it would have been. Maybe if Sonja had gotten an abortion, or even miscarried. Rayne would still be alive, Frank would maybe be less depressed, therefore less violent, Brad would never be under stress, Nation wouldn't find herself caught in the cancer tornado, she might not even have any.
What if Magenta Alvarado never happened...?
The feeling that overtook Brad's mind at that moment was a mixture of horror, self-loathing and extreme anger, mixed in with despondency and hatred of everything to do with cancer, cancer treatment and the pain that Magenta was put through every single day that he could never alleviate. Brad opened the back of the car and leapt out onto the sand.
He didn't notice the tears on his face until the sea breeze hit and made them cold.
...
Brad woke up early in the morning, the gentle yellow sun was streaming through the car window and hitting Magenta's beautiful face perfectly, except in the places where it fell into the cracks between her cheek and the tubes in her nose that kept her breathing each night. Brad stroked her face, he had watched her sleep for most of the previous night but he didn't seem to get tired of it. He started to get choked up when she whispered his name in between soft cries of various words related to hospitals. It only reminded him that it was nearly all she knew.
Magenta's quiet ringtone, You And I, began to softly play as her phone vibrated in the cup holder in the front seat, Brad climbed through the car and grabbed the phone, Nation was calling.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Brad." said Olivia,
"Why does everyone suddenly use Nat's phone?"
"Because it's the only one that works. I shook a can of Coke and, well... I don't really feel like going into detail... How is she?"
Brad looked down at Magenta and pushed some hair out of her face. "She's... good."
"How did she sleep?"
"Fine. She slept fine."
Brad could almost hear Olivia smirking on the other end, "How 'bout you?"
"...SHUT UP!"
"Okay, fine, Kimi told me about your idea to sleep in a car... Kind of stupid, really. If I was Magenta, I'd personally take it upon myself to kick your ass, but... That's just me. She awake?"
"No."
"Well, don't wake her, just tell her I phoned, Nat's fine, the mets in her cervix are downsizing nicely, and Rayna misses y'all."
"Nice, and before you hang up,"
"Yeah?"
"Doctors don't shake Coke."
"Kiss it, Majors."
With that one remark, Olivia hung up. Brad set Magenta's phone back in the cup holder and laid back down next to her, gently wrapping his arms around her thin shoulders and stroking her face. Her un-straightened hair was spread across the pillow and still damp from the previous night, a light sweat had broken out across her nose.
"...mmm..." Magenta whispered as she began to wake up, "Brad, wh-" she started to laugh, "Were you talking to Olivia?"
"Sadly."
"Why?"
"Why do you think?" Brad whispered, gently pressing his lips against Magenta's as he lay on top of her. "I told her you're fine, and that everything's great..." Brad began to slide Magenta's bra strap off of her shoulder,
"You know..." Magenta whispered into Brad's shoulder, "I'm not giving up, I'm gonna really try, for you, and Nation and Columbia and-" Magenta coughed quietly, Brad leaned back,
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just-" Magenta coughed harder and leaned over, cupping her hands over her mouth.
Before Brad knew it, Magenta's lap was soaked with blood.
...
Kimi pushed back the partition that separated Magenta's bed in the ER from the rest of the patients'.
"Alright, we can go back to the hotel."
"Are you serious?" Brad's head snapped up, "She was coughing up-"
"Blood, I get it. She'll be fine, let's go. I'll drive." Brad lifted Magenta off the ER bed and followed Kimi to the car.
...
"Okay, Hanako, I'll be right there, bye!" Kimi hung up her phone, "Me and my friend Hanako are going out. But, call me if you need anything."
Brad pushed the hair out of Magenta's face, she was laying on the couch. Brad was sitting next to her.
"Why are you speaking English to her?"
"Because her dad is from North Dakota. That's why." Kimi snapped, "I'll see you in a few hours." Kimi left. There was silence for a few seconds before Magenta spoke.
"I'm so sorry."
Brad glanced at her, "What-why? Why are you sorry?"
"I ruined the trip." she squeaked, "I ruined it."
"No, baby." Brad whispered, lifting Magenta's head into his lap, "You didn't ruin the trip, okay? I'm just glad you're feeling better."
"Mmm, I'm gonna Skype Frank, okay?"
"Okay."
"Can you call Nat? Just, see how she's doing..."
"Okay, baby. You need anything."
"I'm fine."
Brad handed Magenta his laptop and left the room, dialling Nation's number.
...
The first thing Frank saw when he signed into Skype was Magenta's face staring straight at him.
"Hi, Genta, how are you?"
Magenta smiled weakly, "Not so good."
"Shit... what happened?"
"...the usual stuff."
"Oh baby, I wish I could be with you."
"It's okay." Magenta smiled, "How's Nat?"
"She's doing better, she misses you." Frank paused, "She's kind of losing her filter..."
...
Denton, 1996, Juana McKinley's POV.
"I can't do it."
"Just try okay?"
"SHUT UP COSMO!"
All I can hear from the living room are my kids arguing in the kitchen. The topic of this week's blowout is Nation's latest 5th grade English homework.
"You know you can read it, you're just not letting yourself."
"I AM TOO! I can't read."
"Yes you can. You passed kindergarten, didn't you?"
"... I don't want to go to a special school."
"You're not going to go to a special school."
"Oh yeah? Remember when Janice's sister got in that fight and she had to go?"
"Well... Janice's sister is... special."
"How do you know I'm not? I can't read. You can read, and we're twins, I don't get it!"
Three years ago we found out Nation was dyslexic. Cosmo started off thinking it was just code for stupid and would stop at absolutely nothing to push his sister over the edge. It took him six visits to the principal's office, all of Nat's self-esteem problems and a broken wrist to realize that this was no laughing matter. He suddenly became supportive. The first time, Nation thought he was kidding and using his newfound sweetness as a ticket to anything he wanted. She had nearly given away her entire room before he finally told her that he was willing to help.
Nat is convinced she's going to a special school. I mean, with Magenta in the hospital every other week, Rayne causing trouble every other MINUTE and Cosmo just being himself, she's exposed to cancer, crazy, and her brother. It's enough to make a kid paranoid. Luckily, there aren't any special schools in Denton. But apparently, Special Ed is the same thing.
"This is probably the easiest assignment you'll ever get!"
"I have to write a story, not even YOU can do that..."
"Yes I can, I handed mine in last week. Mrs Hyland is giving you extra time. Don't you want to show her you don't need it? You have the whole plotline in your head, so just write."
"But I can't. I just can't..." Nation is silent for a second, "Hey! I could recite the story in my head, and you could write it for me!"
"Yeah, I could do that. IF YOU WANT TO GET SENT TO A SPECIAL SCHOOL IN CLEVELAND. Just try."
I can hear my daughter's voice getting teary, "But I can't spell any of the words... Can I get Magenta to do it? She's always complaining about how bored she is in the hospital, I bet she'd like a little homework to spice up her life..."
"That's insensitive, Nat."
"Oh, I'm sorry, just my stupid brain talking."
"YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE! DO YOUR HOMEWORK YOURSELF! I'M NOT HELPING YOU ANYMORE IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TRY! I HAVE MY OWN LIFE TO WORRY ABOUT! I CAN'T ALWAYS SUPERVISE YOURS!"
...
"It's good to hear you're feeling better."
"Yeah, I guess I am..."
"...I miss you... So much, you can't understand-" Magenta was beginning to see tears in Frank's eyes.
"I'm okay, Frank, I'll be fine, you need to stop worrying."`
Frank was silent for a second. "Okay, fine, I have to go now, I'll call you tomorrow."
"I love you." Magenta whispered, turning the webcam off as Brad walked into the room.
...
I love you
I love you
I love you
The words echoed in Brad's head as he watched Magenta undress, as she was taking her makeup off, Brad suddenly began to remember why she would be saying those words in an empty room,
I'm gonna Skype Frank, okay?
Magenta turned to Brad and smiled a little,
"Okay, I've taken everything, I'm going to bed, okay?" Brad nodded a little as Magenta gently kissed his cheek, "I love you."
Before Brad could censor himself, he blurted out, "Do you?"
Magenta froze, "Of course I do... What-?"
"I heard you Skyping with Frank. You love him, don't you?"
"Oh, sweetheart-"
"Of course you had to wait until I left the room."
"We weren't doing what you think-"
Brad raised his hand, Magenta braced herself, he stopped and dropped his hand.
The tears began streaming within seconds, Magenta looked down as Brad held a hand over his mouth,
"I'm so sorry, I-"
"No, baby, don't apologize, please, it's my fault..." Magenta wrapped her arms around Brad's neck, "I would never cheat on you, my love."
Brad was silent as Magenta left the room.
...
Brad woke up early the next morning, at about 4. Magenta wasn't in bed. Brad stood up, he could hear quiet voices coming from the washroom, Kimi opened the door with tears in her eyes,
"Brad... She's... she's been throwing up for the past two hours, I don't know what's wrong..."
"Slow down, what's happening?"
"... I think it's her kidneys. She hasn't had dialysis in a while, which could-" Kimi broke down. "We need to get her to a hospital now. She's gonna die if we don't."
Brad shoved past Kimi into the bathroom, Magenta was laying silently on the tile floor, blood was streaming steadily down her face from her nose, she suddenly jerked to life, gripping the rim of the toilet and retching convulsively. It took a second for Brad to notice tears. He sat next to her, gently touching her hand,
"Are you okay?"
Magenta laid her head in his lap, "It's over."
"Don't say that." Brad snapped, almost too forcefully, "You promised me you wouldn't talk like that anymore."
"... Don't leave..." Magenta whispered, "I don't want to be alone..."
"I'm not leaving, my love. We have to go to the hospital though."
"I can't."
"You need to, or you won't improve."
Magenta coughed violently, Brad slowly sat her up, "I'm dying..."
"No, no, you're not. I won't let that happen."
"You can't control- Oh-"
Magenta threw her head into the toilet, her body shuddered as she threw up again. She leaned back,
"We need to go call an ambulance from the lobby, can you stand?"
Magenta shook her head, Brad gathered Magenta into his arms and stood up, he felt her shivering, Kimi emerged in the doorway,
"Brad, wrap her in blankets before she loses too much heat."
"She's sweating, though."
"I'm cold-" Magenta squeaked desperately,
"Kimi, get my jacket for her." Kimi grabbed Brad's jacket and laid it on Magenta, "We don't have time to call an ambulance."
"We don't have a car."
"Can't we call a taxi?"
"BRAD, THAT'LL TAKE LONGER THAN AN AMBULANCE!"
"Can't we just get one off the street-"
"THIS IS NOT NEW YORK CITY, YOU CAN'T JUST RUN OUT INTO THE STREET-"
"Brad, I'm dying-"
"Kimi, we need to go. NOW."
Kimi came out of Magenta's room after a little while,
"The nurse in there says they've put her on dialysis because of the appointments she missed. She also said that if we hadn't brought Magenta in, she would have died. Right there in the hotel room."
"How's she doing now? Are we allowed in there?"
"No. She's probably at the hardest part of the dialysis now. They're not letting anyone in, only me because I'm a nurse."
"I need to be let in."
"You can't. It's what's best for her."
"She needs me-"
"I think you need her more than she needs you. You need the assurance that she's okay, when I'm telling you she will be fine in a few hours." Kimi handed Brad her phone. "Call Nation. Cosmo emailed me that she's getting worse, she's depressed, she can't focus on anything. You need to tell her Magenta's fine."
"But-"
"YOU'LL. LIE. THEN."
Brad took the phone and dialed Nation's number,
"Hi, what do you want." Nation's voice answered on the other end,
"Hey, it's me."
"Oh God. Brad... This better be good."
"It's Magenta. Uh, we're at the hospital now, because she missed a lot of dialysis appointments and she got pretty sick, but she's fine now."
"...Great. Can I hang up now?"
"Uh... I..."
"Because I'm off chemo, so I put on a lot of weight and now I'm a fat-ass and also... I can't read anymore."
"What?"
"Like, I can't read."
"I don't- Nat, are you okay?"
"No. I'm not okay. I'm dying. I feel like shit, I can't read, I had a seizure last night."
"You did? Shit, are you okay?"
"I'm n-" Nation was cut off as she coughed violently and was silent, Brad suddenly heard Cosmo's quiet voice on the other end.
"Sorry, Brad, maybe tomorrow."
"Uh... yeah..."
"How's Magenta?"
"...Great. She's wonderful."
Cosmo hung up the second Brad did. Brad handed Kimi the phone and a nurse came out of Magenta's room, waving Kimi over, they whispered something in Japanese and Kimi looked back over, Brad had a mini heart attack.
"Brad." Kimi called, "She can see you now. She's awake, she asked for you."
Brad started towards Magenta's ICU door, upon opening it, he found a smaller room than the one he was used to in New York. Magenta was barely awake in her metal bed, her body seemed to be devoured by the sheets, and every inch of her body seemed to be violated by wires, tubes and needles.
Her eyes flickered to the door, they were filled with tears and her skin was cast light blue.
"Oh, baby..." Brad choked out, rushing towards Magenta, he collapsed at her bedside, she turned her head slightly to face him,
"th- uh... they let you in? Mmm- how- how'd you get them to let you in?"
"No. Ssh, don't say anything." Brad almost demanded, he laid down in Magenta's bed, pulling the covers over the both of them, he gathered Magenta's frail body into his arms, she rested her head against his chest. "Neither of us need to talk."
Magenta exhaled heavily, Brad kissed the top of her head as she buried her face deeper into his now tear-stained shirt. She was shivering. Kimi opened the door silently and snuck into the room, sitting down silently in a chair at the end of Magenta's bed and folding her hands in her lap, only moving them to adjust the cat ear headband that had slipped a few inches.
"Brad, I need to talk to you outside."
"Kimi, it's not a good time."
"Brad. You need to come now."
"It's okay." Magenta whispered, "If it's important you need to go... I'll be okay."
Brad slowly stood up, as if trying to leave Magenta some of his body heat. He followed Kimi into the hall,
"What is it?"
"Brad, you never mentioned Magenta's leukemia in the forms you filled out."
"I didn't think-"
"Brad. They want to deport you."
"What? No... they can't, Magenta needs this, I need to give her normalcy before something happens."
"Brad. Something has happened, you can't give her normalcy, this is normal for her."
"She can't make the trip on her own."
"She won't, you'd be with her, and you'd be in a MediVac plane, which is a smaller, private plane that's equipped to Magenta's needs."
Brad collapsed onto a bench in the hallway and covered his face with his hands, "She wanted this so badly... we still had another week."
"I'll try to do something, I have a citizenship here, I may be able to help. But for now you need to go in there with her, just be with her while you can."
"Please promise me you'll try to fix this, Magenta can't handle being thrown out of the country."
"Brad, I promised I'd try. The government is heartless but I'll try. But she's sick, and this could very well be for the best, I don't know."
New York, 6 pm.
"COSMO. GET IN HERE."
Cosmo glanced at the bathroom door where his sister's screams were coming from, he stood up and opened the door, Nation was standing at the sink in a bra and unbuttoned jeans,
"What is it? Are you okay?"
"No. My jeans don't fit. And this bra feels like a boa constrictor." Nation's face turned from blank to horror, "I'm becoming Abby Lee Miller..."
"Nation, it's 30 lbs, I think you're fine."
"None of my clothes fit."
"I can let them out for you." Cosmo handed Nation a Victoria's Secret sweatshirt that was laying on the bed, "Here, it's probably still way too big."
"Well, obviously. That's the point."
Magenta hit the asphalt hard as she was ejected from the car as it slammed to a stop. Blood was pulsing from the cuts in her palms and her face, but she suspected the pool of blood she was laying in wasn't hers.
It wasn't. Nation was lying about three feet away, her eyes were wide open. Magenta dragged herself to where Nation was,
"Nat... what happened... how did it crash- Brad, she's not moving! BRAD! PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME!"
Suddenly, Magenta heard a thump and loud, distressed screaming, it was coming from the other side of the car.
Magenta started to stand up but just collapsed, her leg was probably broken, she'd have to drag herself there, but she didn't know where she was.
She glanced around, Frank was laying facedown about ten feet away, bleeding heavier than Nation. Kimi was next to him... Sonny... Brad, Cosmo and Columbia were nowhere in sight.
The person on the other side of the car stood up, the voice was unmistakeable.
"COLUMBIA?"
"WHAT HAPPENED?"
"I don't know. I think my leg's broken..."
"We need to call someone..."
"Where's Brad?"
"He and Cosmo are in the front seat, Cosmo's dead, I don't know about Brad, he was kind of just staring..."
Magenta began to crawl weakly across the pavement, Columbia ran over to the car. She tapped Brad's shoulder. In the light of the streetlights, Magenta saw him collapse onto the dashboard as her vision began to weaken...
...
Magenta woke up screaming. Luckily, she, Brad and Kimi had not been deported. Still, she kept screaming, waking Brad up in the process. Before he could sit up, she found herself running into the hallway, grabbing a blanket off the couch as she went.
...
Kimi woke up as the door slammed at about 3 am. She saw Magenta get into bed when she opened her eyes. She watched for a few seconds,
Oxygen, check, regulator, check, aaaaaaaaand... I can get up now.
Kimi slowly stood up and inched into the kitchen, she decided to observe Brad and Magenta from behind the counter. The tiles were cold against her bare feet. She contemplated putting socks on but decided against it.
Magenta coughed and Kimi almost had a heart attack. She began to walk in circles to try to slow her heart rate down. Any display of illness from Magenta was enough to set Kimi off. It was impossible to deal with.
Kimi thought about going back to sleep. She just couldn't. She'd seen Magenta up and she was freaking out. Instead she sat down at the end of their bed, Magenta's suitcase was laying open next to the bed. A few bras were hanging out, a slutty looking thong, the hem of a skirt and a puffy thing that she didn't really know what it was, she pulled at it and withdrew a sickeningly adorable stuffed cat. It was fluffy. Fluffy and too damn cute.
Magenta stirred and Brad subconsciously hugged her tighter. Kimi placed the cat under Magenta's arm and went back to bed.
New York. 7:00 am.
Cosmo woke up with Nation asleep next to him, her hair was beginning to grow back. It was a lighter red than before, but she'd always wanted to look more blonde so at least she'd be satisfied.
She had put on weight. After her hysterectomy it was a given. And she'd been off drugs and Olivia had taken her off chemo. There were even more factors after that. She hated it. If the loss of her hair wasn't enough, the illness and the weight gain was beginning to drive her up the wall.
Cosmo actually thought it was pretty hot. She had curves again, she no longer looked like the drug addict she'd been. Once her hair grew back she'd be a fucking knockout.
Nation began to open her eyes, she almost laughed and whined in a weird sing-songy voice,
"I know you're staring at meeeee... and you can stop... like, now."
"Do you feel okay?"
"I don't know, did the size of my ass go down at all?"
"Nat, stop. You look gorgeous."
Nation got out of bed, "I don't want to be a fat-ass like I used to be. I looked like a pageant mom until four years ago."
"Pageant mom?"
"Oh come on, like you've never watched Toddlers and Tiaras over my shoulder."
"Actually, you tied me to the couch, but, you know..."
"What exactly is too fat for my height?"
"You're absolutely fine."
"Feel my boobs. FEEL THEM."
...
Tokyo, 4 am.
Brad closed his suitcase and placed it on the luggage cart, there was still an hour until they left the hotel and got back on the plane to New York. Kimi was packing everything else and they were letting Magenta sleep until everything was packed.
"I think that's everything." Kimi said, exasperated, Brad sat next to Magenta and gently started to shake her. She smiled,
"Get..."
"We're leaving, baby, wake up."
"Yeah... no." Magenta smiled, shoving Brad gently and burying her face back into her pillow, Brad stood up,
"I'm giving you five minutes, baby. If you don't get up within five minutes I swear to God-"
Magenta sat up and began to take the tubes out of her nose, "Happy now?" she started taking her clothes off, Kimi made a big deal of looking away and fluttering her hands over her face, "Okay, she's freaking out, pass me my bag." Brad put the suitcase on the bed and Magenta pulled out a few articles of clothing and blindly put them on, then zipped it back up, "Here, you can put this on the thing."
Brad put the bag on the luggage cart, Magenta sat in the wheelchair next to the door, everything was packed, within minutes, they had left the room.
...
When the flight was over, the plane descended into the city lights of NYC, Brad had allowed himself to space out, when the plane landed, he noticed Magenta was leaning her head into his shoulder and Kimi was passed out against the window, he woke Magenta by gently shaking her, she opened her eyes,
"Are we here?" she squeaked, glancing at Kimi, "Wake up... we landed."
Kimi jolted awake, "MY GOD!"
...
It took a while to leave the airport. When they got back to the hospital and magenta got into the hospital bed, Brad finally realized that the trip really hadn't fixed anything. And this was still their normal.