Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan.

A/N: Nothing like a new character to help the others deal with their issues.

Unforeseen

Chapter 14 – Dr. Zoe Fisher

The elevator doors opened again and a pretty young woman stepped off. She had long, curly, fiery red hair and ocean blue eyes. Her eyebrows were perfectly plucked and her face held a gentle expression. She was wearing a black business suit, which hugged her thin body in all the right places. Her fingernails matched the soft green hue of her blouse. Emmy stopped her. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Dr. Garret Macy," she said gently.

Lily heard the woman and came out of her office thinking it was Maggie. However, to her surprise, it was not. "Can I ask why?" Emmy prodded.

"I'm filling in for Dr. Stiles, excuse me for being so rude, I'm Dr. Zoe Fisher." She extended her hand.

"I'm Lily Lebowski, I'll take you too him," Lily said extending her hand. Zoe smiled and accepted.

"Ahh, Ms. Lebowski, the grief counsellor." Lily nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you." The woman's words were gentle and delicate. Lily understood how people could open up to her. She seemed so open and inviting. Zoe followed Lily through the morgue until they reached Garret's door. Lily knocked but no one responded. She knocked again, feeling guilty for bothering him during this time. Finally the door opened and Walcott stood in the frame. "What is it?" she asked, sounding agitated that someone would come and bother Garret.

"I'm Dr. Zoe Fisher, I'm filling in for Dr. Stiles and I'm here to see Dr. Garret Macy," she said again. Renee stepped out of the way and Zoe entered the office. Renee followed Lily out and shut the door.

"Dr. Macy, I'm Dr. Fisher but please call me Zoe." He nodded but remained silent. "Dr. Stiles is away on vacation and he won't be back for 3 weeks." Garret nodded again.

"Do you have any kids doctor?"

"No, I'm still single." She smiled gently. He nodded again.

"Then, I don't think you can help me."

"I may not know what it feels like to lose a child Dr. Macy, but I still think I can help you."

"How? You can't bring her back."

"Unfortunately, I can't do that. I know this is a very difficult time for you, but it might help to talk about."

"It might, but that's probably not going to happen. I'm not really one to open up to a complete stranger."

"Holding stuff in Dr. Macy is very unhealthy. You can't do that to yourself. You need to let these emotions out in order to grieve properly." Her voice remained gentle and inviting.

"Thanks anyway, but I'm aware of what holding stuff in can do. I've done it my whole life and nothing is going to change now."

"Maybe that's why you are having such difficulty grieving because you are clouded by everything that is bothering you. If you hold everything in, when something major happens, you are forced to deal with it all at once."

"I don't want to talk."

"Well then how are you going to deal with this?"

"I don't deal with things, I ignore them until they go away."

"They don't go away."

"Fine until I don't think about them anymore."

"That isn't a way to live your life. How can you experience life, if you don't deal with its burdens?"

"Can I offer you a drink?" he asked as he pulled the bottle of scotch from his drawer.

"No thanks, I try not to drink while I'm working."

"Well good for you," he said bitterly.

"Is this what you do? Do you drink away your emotions?"

"I don't have to answer that."

"No you don't. You don't have to answer anything. However, word of advice. Alcohol doesn't wash away your problems. They only intensify once the alcohol is out of your system. I think its time you let go of the bottle and dealt with your problems. Running from them doesn't take them away."

"I'm not Jordan and I'm not running from anything."

"Who's Jordan?"

"An ME, she is the one who runs from her problems."

"I'm not talking about physically running, I'm talking emotionally. You push them from your mind and ignore them. They don't go away. When Jordan runs, does that solve her problems?"

"No."

"Then will drinking solve yours?"

"I don't care, if it does or it doesn't." She nodded her head.

"So your answer is to drink until it numbs you and continue to do that for the rest of your life, so that you never deal with anything Dr. Macy?"

"For the time being yes. I have full rights to do what I want, my daughter is dead and there is nothing I can God damn well do about it." He yelled in frustration.

His anger didn't affect her. Her voice didn't change its tone and the look of comfort didn't leave her face. "You can deal with it." She suggested getting on his last nerve.

"You can leave me alone." Anger invaded his tone.

"I could, but that's not what I'm paid for."

"I'm not talking to you about this."

"Fine, don't talk about it, is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"No."

"All right, then I will be elsewhere in the morgue, if you need me, come find me." She stood up and walked over to the door. She opened it and walked out without giving him a backward glance. She caught up with Lily who was walking down the hall. "Ms. Lebowski, may I have a moment of your time?"

"Sure," Lily smiled at the woman and Zoe could see the pain that she tried to hide in her eyes. Lily led Zoe to her office. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if there was anything you wanted to talk about."

"No not really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, is there anything you need to ask me?

"Not so much. I just noticed that you seem overwhelmed and I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine, I'm just getting over the loss of my mother."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

"I had to take her off life support and I didn't get the chance to prove to her that I loved her."

"I'm sure she knew."

"She died when we were fighting."

"Even so, a mother knows."

"She wasn't my real mother. She adopted me, but I didn't know until after she died. Her last words to me were about how I was always disappointed in her." Lily hadn't even noticed the tears that were pouring out of her eyes.

"Just because she adopted you, doesn't change who she was."

"I know, someone helped me see that. I just wish she could have known I loved her before she died."

"It wouldn't have changed the outcome. You are allowing the guilt to eat away at you. However, you did love her and that is what matters. People fight everyday but eventually you have to forgive yourself. You didn't kill her. Perhaps you feel guilty because there is still some unresolved anger that you haven't dealt with."

"That's possible. She made me pretty angry. You see my mother was the type of person who would rather be your friend then your parent. She would constantly bring a new man into our lives and most of the time, the men were the type that never had a job and would drink all day long. One time she brought home a convict."

Zoe nodded. "You haven't forgiven your mother and you feel guilty because you are still angry at her even though she is dead. You must forgive her in order to let go."

Lily cried harder and reached for her box of Kleenex. She knew what Zoe was saying was right. "It's so hard to forgive her."

"Why not start with the fact that she adopted you. Even if you thought she didn't want to be your mother, she didn't once let you feel that she wasn't your mother. She loved you very much."

"Thank you Doctor."

"Please call me Zoe, and I'm here for you anytime."

Lily smiled at her and for the first time in months the smile reached her eyes.

Lily stood up; "I should get to work." Zoe nodded in agreement and followed Lily out of her office.