Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.
Chapter 14: Problems, Directions and Misdirections
"So… Now what…?" Alice asked Patchouli, Marisa and Reimu. The charred remains of the mysterious invitation addressed to Patchouli now rested upon a table nearby, as they stood pondering their actions.
"… We now know that Remilia is definitely up to something," Reimu summarized, "And seeing as how she had Koakuma burn this invitation, it's obvious she doesn't want you to know about it, Patchouli."
"… So you're saying that Hakugyokurou, and probably Saigyouji Yuyuko, most likely has something to do with this?" Patchouli asked.
"… Then what are we waiting for then? ! Let's bust the place!" exclaimed Marisa.
"But that's odd… The tracking talisman I planted on Sakuya earlier…" Reimu took out the other talisman to get a reading on Remilia's whereabouts.
"What's wrong?" asked Alice.
"Remilia's not heading in the direction of the Netherworld," Reimu explained, "She's… But that direction's the human village…!"
"The human village?" frowned Patchouli, "So what should we do? Follow Remi, or go investigate Hakugyokurou?"
"We could split up," Marisa suggested, "There are four of us here."
All heads were turned to her. S-Split up…? What… A-As in… Pairs?-
"I'll go with Marisa!" Reimu immediately suggested, red-facedly guilty of ulterior motives, "She and I are fellow youkai hunters, we've had plenty of experience with each other-"
"NO! !" Everyone jumped. A flustered looking Alice had a hand clamped to her mouth, having objected a little too loudly.
"N-No…! I-I mean… yes! Yes, that's a good idea, Reimu-san," Alice began with desperate cunning, "And it's a… good thing that both you and Marisa are here! Patchouli and I have less experience with incident resolving, so maybe one of you could uh… pair with one of us?" Alice suggested innocently, then immediately blurted next, "I-I'll go with Marisa-"
"Nice try, Alice-san," Reimu cut across, "But I see what you're trying to do here!"
"M-Me? !" Alice was incredulous, "What about you? ! What is all this nonsense of 'you two being fellow youkai hunters', it's obvious to me what you want!"
Marisa and Patchouli glanced between Reimu and Alice, the former with nervousness and the latter with growing frustration.
"And what of it? !" argued Reimu, "Marisa and I are a couple!"
Alice was shocked, "Y-You! There, you said it! You really said it now! !"
"Hmph…!" smirked Reimu, "And I'll say it again, if you want to hear it-"
"ENOUGH! !"
Everyone jumped again. This time it was Patchouli who exerted herself.
"... Huff… Listen, to me! We're… not… going to be able to do anything like this!" Patchouli eyed both Reimu and Alice, "It won't do us any good if our personal feelings…" a quick glance was given to Alice, although none saw, "… get in the way! … I've got a suggestion," she said, "Why don't we split into pairs as suggested, except we go with someone… well, frankly someone we aren't head-over-heels with."
Alice and Reimu looked at their feet guiltily, not wanting to agree but unable to argue.
"… Then that settles it. I'll go with Marisa," said Patchouli, "And you and Alice can go together," she told Reimu.
"What? ! I have to go with her? !" Reimu and Alice both pointed fingers at each other.
"… What do you think, Marisa?" Patchouli cleverly pushed the decision over to the, up till now, silent Ordinary Magician.
"Eh? ! M-Me? !" Marisa looked at Patchouli in shock. Getting no help from the One Week Magician, she nervously treaded, "Well… I-I think Patchouli's suggestion is a good one… so we… should follow it…?"
"… You don't want to hurt Alice's feelings, do you?" Reimu asked Marisa pointedly.
"N-No! That's not it! Well… Yes! B-But Reimu, listen!" Marisa started pleading, "Listen, please! Alice is one of my best friends, so…" but Reimu already had her back turned to her.
"Sigh… No need to explain to me, Marisa… I understand…" she said stiffly, and started walking off, "Well, since I'm the one that planted the talisman, guess I'll go and hunt down Remilia, so you and Patchouli go investigate Hakugyokurou, okay?"
Marisa stood watching Reimu, feeling a little disappointed in herself. It was then that she caught Alice looking at her with equal disappointment.
"I… I guess I'd better go after Reimu, huh?" Alice said softly.
"… A-Ah, yeah… Do a good job of taking down Remilia, okay?" Marisa wished her well awkwardly.
"… M-Mmm…" Alice nodded, then she too turned away and went after Reimu. Best friends… huh…? Her pace quickened, putting more distance between her and her 'Best friend' as she caught up to Reimu's side.
And soon it was just Marisa, Patchouli, and an exceedingly uncomfortable silence.
"… Ahhh…! That was so awkward, ze!" Marisa rubbed her head furiously, "That wasn't a nice feeling at all! And why did I mess up so badly…? ! Now they both hate me- Wah? !"
Patchouli was openly sobbing.
"… S-Shut up, stupid Marisa…!" she trembled with teary eyes, "A-At least they're both fighting over you…!"
"Erm… A-Are you okay, Patchy-"
"Did you see that? She didn't even look at me! !" Patchouli wailed uncharacteristically.
Marisa sweat-dropped, "I-Is there by any chance that you're talking about Alice-"
Patchouli shot her such an icily hateful glare that Marisa nearly stumbled backwards onto the floor.
"… It's your fault… It's all your fault! !" she threw herself into Marisa's chest and started thumping her frail little fists into Marisa's shoulders.
"C-Calm down Patchy…! I-I'm really sorry…!" Marisa pleaded to no avail.
"It's not fair! She knows all about my feelings, yet her head's full of nothing but you!" Patchouli kept up her efforts to leave imprints of her fists on Marisa's body, "It's all your fault! You stupid witch! You stupid pimp! You stupid pimp witch!"
Marisa cringed, "P-Pimp- Hey, Patchy! That's going too far, don't you think-"
"You're no witch of love! You're just a pimp witch!" Patchouli kept wailing without any true idea as to what she was saying in her distress, "Stupid Marisa! Go out there and get yourself a harem! Pimp! Pimp! Pimp! Pimp! Pimp!"
"Aha… Ow… That insult actually hurts, Patchy…" Marisa relented with a sigh, unable to do anything but hold on to the sobbing Patchouli.
"… I've been wondering…" Hourai asked Kaku Seiga as she flew next to her, guarding the hermit at the same time in case Seiga decided to be up to no good, "… Why the Netherworld? Why are they holding the conference there?"
She, Shanghai and Komeiji Koishi were on their way to attend the 'Match them up for the betterment of the region! Marisa, Reimu and Alice pairings!' conference held in Hakugyokurou, the personal residency of one of the big wigs of Gensokyo, Saigyouji Yuyuko.
"Hmm… Well, although the chair person is Shiki Eiki, for obvious reasons, you can't just invite everyone to Hell, right?" Seiga said.
"And… the Netherworld's better?" Shanghai joined in, trembling with fright, "I-It's still a place where the dead go, r-right?"
"Well, yes, but it's different in that it's a bit more accessible," Seiga explained. "Put it this way: Entering and exiting the Netherworld is rather easy, but Hell… Well, Hell's really a place you want to go only when you're forced to…" she mused, "It's not really a place where the living can just waltz in, let alone out."
"Really?" Koishi asked, "I once found myself there for some reason. I was lost too, but I managed to wander out safely… It was really scary!" she recounted with a thrilled expression.
The other three looked at her in blank amazement.
"… You really are something, aren't you?" Seiga sweat-dropped, "I've said I love you before, but really now…" she chuckled nervously.
"B-But it's still a place where the d-dead go… T-That mustn't be comfortable with the o-other youkai, right?" Shanghai said.
"True. But Gensokyo is full of conflicting powers, despite its peace and serenity," Seiga said, "Think about it. We have the Scarlet Devil bunch, the Moriya bunch, the Eintei bunch, the Myouren bunch, the Subterranean bunch, and of course, my little group of Taoist devotees," Seiga recalled with a smile, "The reason why everyone can coexist this peacefully without conflict is because everyone pretty much goes about their own lives, minding their own businesses in their respective areas. If one were to gather all of Gensokyo's denizens, then a place with neutrality and authority would be ideal. Hell would be a good example."
"But… We're not going to Hell. We can't, you just said so," Hourai pointed out.
"Exactly! The Netherworld's the next best thing and, as I said, is far more accessible too," explained Seiga, "As another domain of the dead, all the living denizens will have no choice but to respect the host, Saigyouji Yuyuko. It helps too that she's a close friend of that powerful youkai Yakumo Yukari."
"I see, I see… Wait, why are we flying upwards?" Hourai asked, and indeed the group were heading up towards the sky.
"I'm sure the netherworld's somewhere a bit more earthly, but the gate's somewhere up there," Seiga pointed towards the clouds, "Hmm… A place where you can only go if you know the way, huh…? Not so different from a hermit's home!" she remarked cheerily.
"But… How do you know where it is?" Hourai asked.
"Directions are on the back of the invitation," Seiga pointed out simply.
"Eh?" the two doll sisters and Koishi took out the invitation and flipped to the back. "Ooh… So they are!" they exclaimed.
And the four were well on their way to the conference.
And so were another bunch, specifically the Scarlet Devil Bunch.
"Ooah…! That desert was so nice! I've never had it before! I want to have it again!" Flandre cheered as she exited the front of an eatery, closely followed by Remilia, Meiling and Koakuma.
"A-Ah… That wasn't desert, Flandre-ojou-sama…" Meiling sweat-dropped, "And you didn't even wait for the meat to cook…"
"… Having grilled meat for tea time…" Remilia had a difficult expression on her face, "Plus the way you were eating, Flandre…" How embarrassing for a noble lady like me…
"Aha… Can't be helped, Flandre-ojou-sama came running here the moment she smelled it…" Koakuma giggled awkwardly.
The two vampire sisters ventured back onto the main street of the human village, closely followed by their servants with parasols, when from in front of them approached a maid in a blue frilled dress.
"Sakuya," Remilia greeted, "I trust it was successful?"
"Yes, Remilia-ojou-sama," reported Sakuya, "I have planted the talisman elsewhere as you have requested. Although I must ask, why an Autumn Festival?"
As it happens, the human village was hosting the annual Autumn Festival this evening on the outskirts of town for the fourth day today.
"Excellent! Now Reimu will be lured here! The stage is set- Ooh…" Remilia bent down in discomfort.
"Eh? Is something the matter?" Sakuya asked her mistress concernedly.
"Lousy quality grilled meat too…" Remilia grumbled, clutching her tummy.
"I've saved some for you, Sakuya!" Flandre ran up to Sakuya with a small box in hand, "You haven't had anything to eat, so I thought you might be hungry!"
"Ah! How considerate of you, Flandre-ojou-sama! Thank you very much!" Sakuya accepted the gift with an appreciative smile, although she already knew that something was probably wrong with it. And sure enough, behind Flandre, Meiling was shaking her head and mouthing the words 'It's not cooked', to which Sakuya could only shrug her shoulders awkwardly.
"Okay, that's enough time we've wasted here," said Remilia, "Reimu must be homing in on the talisman right now. Let's go."
And away they went to Hakugyokurou.
"If you breathe… one word about what happened…" Patchouli's nose was threatening to slice of Marisa's. Her eyes were still red and puffy from the crying, although her sadness had evaporated, leaving simply anger, "If Remi, or Alice, or anyone else for that matter knows about my previous behavior…"
"O-Okay, I get it, I get it…! Not one word, I promise ze!" Marisa submitted with an awkward grin.
"Hmph…" Turning away from Marisa, Patchouli glanced about the otherwise empty library, "Come on… We've wasted enough time here. We should get going to Hakugyokurou and ask some questions…"
"Wasn't time wasted because you were crying- I' sorry, I'm sorry! I mean it's entirely my fault!" Marisa flinched under Patchouli's icy stare.
"… Of course it is," Patchouli said coldly, and walked out of the library, closely followed by Marisa. As they headed towards the Scarlet Devil Mansion's main entrance however, Patchouli became wary of Marisa constantly looking at her apologetically. Soon, she could no longer tolerate the sense of guilt accumulating in her.
"Wh-What…?" Patchouli stopped and turned towards Marisa- …! Wh-What's with that forlorn look…? !
"H-Hey…" Marisa asked Patchouli quietly, "Do you… really hate me that much?"
Patchouli turned away on the pretence of being haughty; she was really just trying to avoid looking at those puppy eyes. "No, I don't," she said, "I'm just a bit angry, that's all."
Marisa became even more downcast, "Sigh… I've made everyone angry, huh…?" the poor little puppy said.
Guh..! My heart…! "H-Hey, Marisa…" Patchouli hazarded a glance at Marisa.
"I've failed as your best friend, Patchy… I've failed as Alice's best friend…!" Marisa sniffled.
"Ah, ah, ah…! Th-That's not it! That's not it at all!" Patchouli came rushing to little Marisa's side, completely at a loss on what to do, "I-I…"
"Alright…" Marisa's fists clenched.
"Eh…?"
"All of this is because of some people messing with us, right?" Marisa looked up with rejuvenated determination. She marched forward a distance, leaving behind a rather confused Patchouli.
"Then I guess I have no choice…" Marisa turned around, "But to bust them up good, ze!" she exclaimed to Patchouli.
"Huh…?"
"I promise you Patchy," Marisa thumped her chest, her hand clutching her mini-hakkero, "For your sake, and for Reimu and Alice's, I'll blast whoever dared messed with us to smithereens! And then um… Can we go back to being friends, Patchy?" she asked Patchouli sheepishly.
"… Haha… Hahahaha…!" Patchouli laughed openly, causing Marisa's sheepish look to turn into an uneasy, "What do you mean 'go back to being friends'?" she asked airily.
"E-Eh…? ! Y-You mean…?" Marisa uneasiness increased.
"Marisa…" Patchouli stepped forward towards Marisa solemnly, "I…"
"I'm really sorry for being mad at you!" she bowed low, "You weren't at fault!"
"…! P-Patchy!" Marisa rushed to straighten Patchouli up by the shoulders, but Patchouli caught her hands in her own instead.
"I… I don't know what's gotten over me… It's all these bitter feelings, you see…" Patchouli admitted, "I… I know you're someone I can always count on, Marisa. Even when I was mad at you, you were still so patient…" Patchouli smiled shyly, "You… You're one of my precious friends," she admitted, embarrassed.
A bright grin grew across Marisa's face as the uneasiness between the two melted away.
"Isn't that right, da ze?" she teased Patchouli without hesitation, "You don't have many, after all!"
Patchouli's warm expression was immediately replaced with a dark one, "Oi… I didn't say you could start making fun of me like that…"
"It's all alright with you though, isn't it?" Marisa was still grinning brightly, "Come on! We've got no more time to waste!" she walked over to one of the many long, French windows that lined the mansion's corridors, "Let's just leave this place my style and hurry over to Hakugyokurou!"
"Your style- Eh? ! M-Marisa! Wait-"
Smash!
"- a moment…" Patchouli sweat-dropped. T'ch… I knew she'd do that…! But Marisa was already outside anyways, waiting on her broom. Resigning with a chuckle, she joined the awaiting black-white witch outside. And the two flew off.
"… And seriously, next time Marisa, please don't break the windows…"
"Hehe…! Sorry, Patchy! So… How should I make it up to you?"
"… Hmph! The nerve of you… How about you leave Alice to me?"
"…! P-Patchy! Alice isn't mine to give!"
"Heh…"
Meanwhile…
"I-I was with her too when she faced that hell raven Reiuji Utsuho!"
"Hah! Don't make me laugh! You and the other youkai were cowering far above on the surface. Only I was physically by her side!"
… Reimu and Alice, not being that good of friends to begin with, were not having a heartfelt session with each other.
"O-Oh yeah? ! Well, even though you were there, you didn't exactly lend Marisa any extra firepower, did you, Reimu?"
"Like you were the only one, Alice! If I recall correctly, even that kappa Kawashiro Nitori was there!"
The two were comparing notes on how compatible a partner they are for Marisa, even as they flew through the sky, tracking down Remilia.
Basically…?
"I'm better with her, Reimu!" "I'm better with her, Alice!"
… And so on and so forth…
Chapter End
Ahem...! Whoo... Here I go...!
Title: Too Bad
Shanghai-chan
Koishi-chan
You're missing it
Sorry
… Hehe…