REJOICE! After god knows how long, i have decided to finally get off my ass and update this haha, this had to be the WORST writers block I've had in a long time.

I was on my own Ao3 account, and i decided to read over what i wrote. Grammatically, i don't think it's very good, and if i ever get time i'll go back and edit it. The reason for that is probably because i was trying to be more strict in the beginning chapters with the approx 1000 word limit, which probably restricted the overall quality.

But in either case, i have a bit of new inspiration for this story, so i decided to pull out my little green notebook and continue this, wish me luck! :)

Apparently I'm not very consistent when it comes to first or last names, if this bothers anyone let me know.

In this chapter, we learn a bit more about Komaeda's past. I wasn't gonna do it, but then i realised that it could add more depth to the story, so there we have it. This might be a bit long, as I'm going into detail about this.

As usual, I OWN NOTHING! (or else Komahina and Naegami would already be canon by now.)

FINAL WARNING - THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ASS CHAPTER! (That's why it's split into two).

START OF CHAPTER:

The morning after valentines day, Komaeda decided that he couldn't just sit around and wait all day and do nothing. Since he didn't have a job, most days he decided that the least he could do was keep the house clean. He didn't have many talents, but cleaning was one of the few things he was good at.

He knew this made him look like a housewife, but he really didn't care. Hinata was already stressed enough supporting the two of them, especially with him constantly getting sick. It was the least Komaeda could do to make sure he didn't have any more worries at home.

Nagito was cleaning their bedroom, when he decided to tidy the bedside drawers. He was cleaning Hinata's side, tidying some papers. He was deciding what to do with the note in his hand, the second one that Hajime had left yesterday, when he found a few small black books that he didn't recognise.

"Oh? What's this?"

He picked up the first one and opened it, only to see a page filled with his boyfriends handwriting.

'Today i saw a cute boy my age while i was at the shop i help at. When i asked for his name, i found out he was called Nagito Komaeda.'

His Journal? He didn't know Hajime kept one of those. But out of sheer curiosity, he kept reading. It turns out it was a really thick one despite its size, going back to when they were thirteen, five years ago.

'How does he manage to be that beautiful? I don't know, but I'm thankful every time i see his face.'

He couldn't stop the slight pink that appeared on his cheeks. He knew Hajime loved him, but to find out it went that far back to when they first met?

That was five years ago. He almost smiled at the memory, but he remembered what his life was like back then, his smile dropped. He wasn't in a very good place back then.

'Today i was approached by a detective, a little girl the same age as me called Kyoko. I didn't believe at first, but it turns out she is a descendant of the famous Kirigiri family of detectives. She might be only my age, but she was already a brilliant detective.'

'It turns out she wanted to see me about that boy with the white hair, Nagito. He was apparently criminally insane, and part of a dangerous secret underground terrorist group. Under the influence of a very dangerous woman, another girl our age who supposedly led this group. Kirigiri didn't give me this mysterious girls name, so i don't know if I've ever seen her before. I would doubt any girl this young could be that dangerous and crazy, over 'despair' no less, but here's Kirigiri standing right in front of me, so it wouldn't surprise me now.

There it was. Her. To this day, he wasn't sure how he fell into her influence in the first place. But Kyoko was investigating? and Hajime was involved? This was certainly news to him.

'So i asked why she was telling me all of this, surely such investigation was supposed to be kept private?'

'When i asked why, she told me it was because of Nagito that she was telling me this, and she needed my help. To add further to my disbelief, she went on to explain that each and every member of this group were only children, the same age as us. The remnants of despair she called them.'

'Again, how did this involve me? I was confused. Surely Nagito wasn't part of something so dangerous? I couldn't believe it, such a innocent looking boy, doing the things she described? But apparently so were many of my friends. Ibuki, Akane, even Kuzuryu and Peko. All of them had apparently been brainwashed by this girl. This was very hard to process, but it also makes a horrifying amount of sense. It explains why they had all stopped speaking to me a few years ago, even Soda, who had claimed to be my soul friend when we were small, had been sucked into this despair group.'

'So again, why me? Apparently it wasn't normal for any remnant of despair to associate with anyone outside of their group. They were only supposed to be fixated on causing despair to the masses in secret. This made Kyoko curious, about me that is. She wanted to know why Nagito was so fixated on me. Me, a normal boy, average in any and every way, so why was a remnant of despair so interested in me? That was what Kyoko wanted to find out. She wanted to investigate my life, to find out why. I didn't see a problem with this. I wanted to help her in any way i could, if a group this dangerous was running around, made up of my friends no less, i wanted to help them and her investigation in any way i could. It's not like i had anything to hide anyway. She did have a lot of questions for me, but i answered all of them honestly as i could.'

'But i think most of all, i wanted to help Nagito. Lately i had been thinking about him a lot. With all of these thought, i realised something, i had a major crush on Nagito Komaeda.'

'As Kyoko was leaving, i offered my help. Not just answering my questions, but accompanying her on her investigations if she ever needed somebody to help, or just wanted to have a partner on a mission. This made her pause, and she smiled slightly. She didn't seem like the type to express much emotion, so this gesture made me surprisingly happy. What was even more surprising is that i had a feeling, like i already knew we were going to be friends.'

This slightly shocked Nagito. He had that big of a crush on him, even back then? When he was so out of his mind he didn't know what was right, and was despair really was? He was so lucky to have him as a partner.

But the journal wasn't even over yet, should he keep reading? Nagito couldn't help it, he was just so curious as to what his boyfriends thought were about what happened back then. He himself could barely remember it. Well he could, but it all felt like a distant dream, like it didn't quite feel like his own memories, but instead he was viewing someone else's.

'Time went by, and Kyoko did indeed ask me for help on more missions. She was still investigating the remnants of despair, but until she got more leads, or until Nagito told me anything, she was still a detective, and therefore had other mysteries to solve.'

'Regarding Nagito, Kyoko gave me a simple mission. Befriend Nagito, gain his trust, and get him to reveal all the information on the despair group and it's leader i can.'

Nagito was surprised, does this mean that the beginning of their friendship was false? Meeting Hajime was what helped him first start on the road to recovery, and finally leaving her, and all of her despair. Was it all fake? Before coming to any conclusions, he kept reading. Good or bad, he would find his answer in the journal.

'But i feel so guilty, despite the short time we've known each other, Nagito is already someone precious to me. A valued friend. Maybe more in a couple of years at least, but that's a thought for later, i have to get him away from despair first before i get ahead of myself. I want to help him, he's told me some of his past, and even without that i want to be able to save Nagito and give him all the affection he deserves.'

Well what do you know? He should never have doubted Hajime. With a smile, he shook his head slightly and kept reading.

'It's been a year since i met Nagito and Kyoko, and started helping with investigations. I celebrated my fourteenth birthday at the turning of the new year.'

'But something happened. I finally met the leader of despair.'

That was all for that day, an unusually short entry. Had something happened to him? He said he met the leader of despair, met her. She didn't hurt him did she? Before he started panicking, Nagito reminded himself that Hajime was here today, and was both safe and healthy. So whatever did happen must not have been to bad.

Every time he found something new that made him question his boyfriend, he had to keep reminding himself to just keep reading, that there was always an explanation. Even in his Journal, Hajime wasn't known for flaking out, or just giving up halfway. That no matter what, they were happy now and everything was in the past.

'I'm sorry, i didn't write much in here yesterday. Just meeting her was enough, and truth be told it unnerved me. It was enough to understand just how dangerous she really was. I finally learned her name to, a name that even writing down here just gives me shivers to think about'

'Yesterday, i met Junko Enoshima.'

'Just talking with her is dangerous. She approached me as i was leaving the shop, when i was alone. Just the way she speaks, the look in her eyes was similar to that of an endless way she talks about bringing despair to the world, it's not hard to see she is truly insane. But as it turns out, she gave me several important details. Being as insane as she was, i don't even think she meant to, i think she was just trying to make me as afraid of her as possible. She wanted me to feel despair.

'But i didn't. I kept a blank face as she rambled on and on about her despair. She unknowingly told me how she kept them under her thrall. She has a nurse she didn't name, that she forced to perform various medical procedures on them all, even on the nurse herself, so that they believed how she wanted them to. It also didn't hold for long, so this nurse had to keep doing procedures at set intervals to make them stay.'

'But only one thing she talked about made me really angry, one thing that i almost lost composure over.'

'She talked about Nagito.'

That was all for that day. The writing cut off there. But the words at the end were more defined, as if more force had been applied when they were written. Had he really been that angry, over someone like him? No, he had to stop those thoughts. He was better now, he had mostly left behind any traces of that woman influence. But some days, he slipped. Some days were worse then others, and the thoughts slipped out before he could stop them.

He turned to the next day's entry.

'I had to stop writing yesterday. I was so angry, that if i continued, i probably would have torn this journal to bits in a fit of rage. How dare she talk about Nagito like that! Like he was just some worthless pawn, some lucky charm to be thrown out like trash when she was through with using him.'

'That was almost exactly how she described him. Some worthless rich boy with no family, some dog she picked up off the street. It makes me so angry just to recount every word she said about him. He is in no way worthless, and even if he is insane, i treasure every second i spend with him. I just wish he would see himself that way. She really has gotten to him hasn't she? Almost every conversation i have with him i keep hearing the words 'trash like me' and 'someone like me', she really has made him think that little of himself. But i wish he could see how much he's really worth, how special he actually is.'

The pink on his cheeks came back with a vengeance as Nagito read this passage. Hajime really cared about him that much? That was very flattering, he wasn't sure what to think, only that it made him very happy to know someone cared for him that much.

'The very next day, i met with Kyoko, and i told her about what happened. She was instantly concerned, asking about my health and safety. She was relieved when i told her i was completely unharmed. Naturally, her next question was weather Jun- that woman, i don't even want her name in here any more then it has to be, had revealed anything important. I was only to happy to share everything i had learned.'

'This was a very important break in the case, we finally had a lead! I don't think i've ever seen Kyoko so happy, and so was I. I could finally save Nagito from despair, i could give him the chance at a happy life that he deserves. We finally had a plan! We had a way to get the remnants of despair back to who they used to be, they would be back to normal. Not only would i be able to save Nagito, i would be able to rescue all of my friends as well.'

Hajime always did like helping people didn't he? He might not be to popular, but he was well liked and was fairly well known, so it wasn't something that Nagito couldn't imagine. He could see it perfectly, always happy to help with that smile on his face that Nagito loved so much.

He skimmed the pages to a few days later.

END PART 1:

I was thinking about Izuru Kamakura, and if i should include him… but what would i do with him? Obviously he would be seperate from Hinata, but as of right now, i don't have a place to fit him into the story.

I don't know how many people are still actually reading this, but whoever is thanks for sticking around! :)