I am so sorry for making you guys wait so long for this chapter. Long story short I have been sick for two week and then I went on vacation for two weeks so I just didn't find the time to write. But anyway here is a nice long chapter to make up for it! I gave myself feels writing it...and I think I may be almost done with this fan fiction! Thank you to everyone who has read this and I hope you like this chapter!

Chapter 14

Six months has passed since James asked me to move to London to be with him and I could not be happier. Sherlock had wrapped up the case of The Hounds of Baskerville that very night I had been with James. He had told me his side of events and I had filled in the rest. Sherlock had faced Franklin at Dewar's Hollow and, without James there to back him up, Franklin had panicked and gotten himself blown up in a mine field. Sherlock, John, Henry, and Lestrade, who had apparently decided to go with them, had all escaped unscathed. They had all returned to London soon afterward, leaving James and I free to enjoy each other's company as I finished closing up the chapter of my life that had been lived in Grimpon.

I had moved in seamlessly with Ellie and Molly who both welcomed me with open arms. It was so nice to have roommates again, I hadn't realized how lonely I had been in Grimpon. Besides for one minor blowup, which occurred after Molly found out that Ellie also had a crush on Sherlock, we got along quite smoothly. Molly and Ellie eventually moved past it, especially when Sherlock began to make it apparent that he was interested in Ellie, even though I had the feeling that Molly was still hurting deep inside. How two nice normal girls could both fall for my idiotic brother was beyond me. Molly helped get me a job at St. Barts sorting patients files and other paperwork and I actually enjoyed it, it was a big step up from serving at The Cross and Keys.

I loved London, I had always felt that I belonged in the big city, I just hadn't realized how much I reveled in it until I had returned. Mycroft and Sherlock were delighted to have me back in town, but they did not pester me nearly as much as I had feared. They almost became likeable when I didn't have to live with them. Sherlock began to gain more and more fame as a detective, it was getting to the point that he couldn't go out in public without being photographed or hassled. I could tell he was flustered by it, but he had dug his own grave in my opinion, there was nothing to do about it except to wait for the media to get bored and move on to the next story. As a result I didn't see him much, I had no desire to be in the tabloids and he was so busy with all the cases people were asking him to solve he didn't have much free time anyway.

James and I, on the other hand, spent as much time as possible together. I was falling in love with this man, and as much as it terrified me it also exhilarated me. We just fit together perfectly, he made me a better person and I like to think that I was slowly making him one as well. We still didn't talk about his work, I did not want to know any details and he did not provide them. As far as I knew, Sherlock and Mycroft were still clueless as to my relationship with James. Ellie helped cover for me often and Sherlock was too smitten with her to read her as well as he should have. James was the perfect boyfriend, he was attentive and loving, and he always knew how to make me laugh. One night he would take me out on a romantic date to a five star restaurant, and the next day we would pack a lunch and eat our homemade sandwiches wherever we fancied. I couldn't remember ever being happier in my life, and I should have known it was too good to last.

Slowly I started to sense a change in James and our relationship. I noticed that he did not seem to go out much anymore, he just stayed in his office for hours doing who knows what. He became much snappier and pensive and he went out for "work" much more often than he had been the past few months. We fought much more frequently, and we didn't resolve it as quickly. Random things set him off and then he would be insufferable for the rest of the day. I tried to rationalize his behavior in my head and when I couldn't do that I just ignored it. But then James mysteriously disappeared for two weeks. At first I wasn't too concerned, I assumed he had just gone out for his work and he hadn't found the time to call. But after a week I was frantic with worry. James hadn't come back to his flat, his cell had been turned off completely, and the only person who might be able to help me find him couldn't know that I was seeing James. I cried every night while Ellie tried to comfort me in vain. I began to sink into depression, I called into work as often as I could and I didn't leave the flat unless it was absolutely necessary. I preferred to stay inside and call James phone over and over. The not knowing was killing me, he could be hurt, or dead, I felt so lost without him…I just couldn't live like this.

The day I had decided that I was going to enlist Mycroft into helping me find James whether he was willing or not, I got a text.

I am back at my flat

Don't call your brother

-JM

I don't remember how I ended up at the door to James' flat, I could have flown for all I knew. I threw open the door using my own key, being much too impatient to knock. I rushed into the living room and there was James, with his back turned toward me. I opened my mouth to demand an explanation, but as he turned around I found myself struck speechless. He looked horrendous…his face was mottled and bruised, his hair was lank and greasy, and his clothes were stained and seat soaked. I covered my mouth with my hands and took a few tentative steps forward, trying to choke back the bile I felt rising in my throat.

"What…why?"

"Shh love it doesn't matter. Just a hazard of the job. I am home and safe now and that is all that matters." He stood and moved as if to embrace me, but then he glanced down at himself and backed away without touching me. "Let me get cleaned up and I will take you to dinner."

"DINNER?" the volume of my own voice surprised me but my fury had broken free and I had no control over it now. "You think I could eat right now! Look at you! You have been missing for two weeks and then you show up looking like you crawled out of a dungeon! I can deal with what you do and I can ignore what I don't want to know but I cannot pretend that I can deal with this! Who the hell did this to you?"

"Kitten please calm down…I didn't want you to see me this way but I knew you would be in a panic so I called you over. Yes I was kidnapped for a time but they did not intend to kill me and once they had the information they wanted they kindly let me go, and I am none the worse for wear."

"YOU LEFT ME! For two weeks! I had no idea where you were, if you were alive or dead…I wanted to die James…I cannot go through this again…I just can't…" James pulled me into his arms then, all his filth forgotten in his concern for me.

"I am so sorry I hurt you love. But this is one of the perils of being with me. I cannot promise I won't ever get hurt or disappear but I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to come back to you. And I swear on my life that I will never let anyone hurt you."

"I don't know if that is good enough James…"

"Please trust me Cassy…please don't let this ruin us."

"I need time to think…I just, I don't know what to do right now. I mean, yes you are unscathed this time, but you will always have enemies and there will always be the chance that you might put me through this again."

"Do you honestly think I did this to you!?" James was angry now and it was frightening, even when we fought he rarely seemed this volatile. "You want to know who kidnapped me love? It was your brother Mycroft, your brother's men that tortured me and beat me for information! Is that what you want to hear?" I wasn't as shocked as I should have been, I could tell James had hoped to shut me up with his revelation but honestly, that was Mycroft's job. James was a dangerous criminal who had threatened his brother so why wouldn't he try to get information out of him. All my contentment with what James did fled and I knew something had to change.

"Are you expecting me to be surprised James? Mycroft was doing his duty for queen and country I am sure. I am still appalled at your condition but honestly, what did you think was going to happen with your line of work! I am done with this, done with being the oblivious girlfriend! It doesn't even bother me that what you do is illegal I have moved past that and I realize it is a part of you. But I can't deal with the dangers you are putting yourself in. You are reckless James, you don't really care what happens to you, or to me for that matter! And I know you will do it again! I don't know what's going on right now but you have changed lately and you are becoming more foolhardy. I am not going to put myself through this again…I have to leave."

"Seriously Cassandra?" James scoffed. "Are you that much of a coward? You are going to leave me because you are afraid of losing me, talk about a contradiction!" He was so angry now he was shaking with rage, I had never pushed him this far before but I knew I had to do this and I refused to back down.

"I am not leaving you for good, but until you rethink your priorities I am done with this. I don't care what you do for living but I do want to be a part of your life and I want you to start thinking about me and not just your petty schemes! I thought you were changing at first but the James who asked me to move to London with him isn't standing here before me. Whatever you are so obsessed about needs to end, and until it does I cannot be a part of your life. If that makes me a coward then so be it." I ended the last words on a sob but I meant what I said and I would not break down in tears in front of him. I had hurt him badly, his face was a myriad of shock, pain, and the urge to comfort me but I saw that his pride would not let him.

"Go then…" he whispered. "But I will end this…last job of mine…and then it will be just you and me I promise you that. Can you not stand by me, just trust me, for a little while longer?"

"I wish I could James…but my heart is one step away from breaking and I can't continue on this way. Please understand." I forced my numb body into motion and walked jerkily toward the door.

"Kitten please stay?" He whispered before I could vacate the room completely. I lost all control at that point but I refused to turn around. I groped for the door handle blindly and finally ran out the door as fast as I could manage, afraid that I would give in to temptation if I slowed my pace for even a second. The pouring rain disguised my tears as I stumbled blindly down the streets of London.