Chapter 14
Zack knew he had to talk to Cloud about Tifa, but he didn't know how. Lately, he was lucky to get a chance alone with the guy since he was always with Tifa…at the bar, helping her train, walking with her wherever she went like the little lap dog he was. The two lust bunnies were infuriatingly cute, and Zack couldn't help feeling happier than ever for his friend, but something wasn't right. Ever since he caught Tifa in his room, he had made sure to lock his door and hope she didn't try anything again. She did not as of yet, and so he gave her time, but one more slip up and he might actually have to start telling Valentine the truth, which would not be good for anyone involved.
Cloud felt like he had been in heaven these last few days. He had the best assignment in the world, looking after the woman he loved, allowing more time than ever to catch up and to make new moments to remember; gaining recognition from his comrades in the Elite, enjoying his best friend in love. Speaking of Zack, he hadn't really had time to talk to him since he'd found out about Aerith. Of course, he wished Zack the best in life and this woman sounded perfect for him. That's probably where he's been, Cloud convinced himself as he walked around the grounds, restless energy taking him to random places.
Just after lunch, Cloud was called to the Captain's office and he grew weary as he approached, his lighter mood of earlier clouding in the suffocating space of Valentine's office. The Captain smiled at him from his place behind his desk, motioning for the Lieutenant to sit at ease. "Strife, my boy, I would like a progress report on your special assignment for me."
"Well, sir, I have looked after Miss Lockheart and have kept her safe and sound, as you wanted."
Valentine's smile grew slyer as he continued to look at Cloud across from him, so young and naïve. Now, how to play this right…he needed substantial information to prove that Lockheart was indeed doing more than playing with the boy's mind. He wanted to see her hang for treason…killed in the line of duty just as her father was, but less honorably, of course.
"I feel you know her more than anyone else at this base, is that to be correct?"
"I believe so, sir." Cloud answered, trying to evade answering directly to see if the Captain would give up anything as to what his intentions were.
"The thing is, Strife…I'm not sure she needs protection anymore." Cloud's shock did not register to his face, instead being kept deep within to be dealt with later as he listened on.
"You're getting awfully close to her, if I am not mistaken, and I think it best you be removed from this case, effective immediately."
Cloud did not dare defy the Captain on a regular basis but he was tempted to at this time. Why now? Did he know?
"I do not want you emotionally compromised, Lieutenant, and I believe this to be the case with Miss Lockheart. Now, I don't blame you. She has had her hand at such things times before, but I don't want you to get involved in her manipulation. I knew having a woman present, even one, would not be good for the SOLDIERs. This last part was more to himself than Cloud as he looked blank in front of his superior officer, not portraying the range of emotions swirling inside of him. Vincent watched the young man carefully but saw nothing, not a flicker at the mention of being separated from his lady love, and he had to give the boy credit for putting on a brave face.
"Back to regular duties…rotation within the Elite, Strife. That is all." And with that, Cloud was dismissed, his world pulled out from under him. Once outside Seventh Heaven, his mind cleared and things became apparent that he would just have to try harder to see her. If seeing her in secret was the only way to be with Tifa, then so be it, Cloud was willing to risk it for the woman he loved.
All of a sudden, Cloud ran into something solid as he exited the Captain's office, not seeing said object before feeling it recoil. The form was much too small and fragile to be one of the troops and he felt his heart sink when he met Tifa's gaze, stunned and silent.
How much did she hear? Apparently enough to not even look him in the eye, unable to move from her spot in the hallway. He reached for her and she backed away from his hands, saying a quiet, "Not here," before he could explain. Quickly he tried to take her hand but she evades once again, instead walking behind him as he lead the way from Valentine's office to the seclusion of the nearby pantry.
Cloud shut the door behind them, the hollow thud resonating through the small space and filling the once silent room with an expectant pause as one of them needed to start this conversation. He adjusted slowly to the lower light in the cluttered room and he couldn't help but look at her, his eyes taking in her dim ones, shrouded from him to keep him out and her safely tucked inside. "Tifa, I-" but stops as he sees she still won't look at him, instead twirling her ring in thought.
"I was your assignment?"
She seemed so small and helpless, a lost look in her eyes as the finally looked into his, causing his heart to fill with guilt and pain at what he had done to her. She didn't seem real, and he couldn't stand it, but he quietly answered with the truth. "Yes, it started out that way, but-"
"Then everything has been a lie, all of this."
It was not a question but a statement, her gaze pleading for everything but that to be true. Cloud pulled her close, her body no longer hesitating and as he held her, whispering into her ear.
"No, it's all true Tifa. Everything I feel is real."
He felt her shudder in his arms, the truth in his words all too much for her to hold back any longer. Her shoulders shook with quiet sobs, and he stood there with her until she lifted her head from his chest and uttered, "It's not fair." Cloud was clueless as to what else could be unfair but focused on how they had come together under what seemed like false pretenses.
"I know, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't tell you."
She pulled back to look up into his face as he assured her sincerely, "I want to be with you, Tifa, and now we will have to be more careful since I'm not expected to be with you all the time anymore."
Tifa was lost deep in thought, processing Cloud's words and planning ways to make this work without the other Turks or now the leaders of SOLDIER getting suspicious. He took it as doubt and quickly added, "If you'll have me, that is." She was so deeply touched by his words that she walked back into his arms and kissed him lightly on the lips before snuggling back into his form.
"I love you, Tifa."
I love you too, Cloud. She couldn't say the words out loud, not daring to utter them since they could crash all of what they had built together. They were setting themselves up for more trouble than they might be able to handle. She could not let Reno or the others kill Cloud because of her, and so they would have to be careful. All that she knew for sure was that she loved and trusted Cloud more than anything, and she would keep him safe, no matter the cost.
That night at dinner, Cloud was not present and by her side as she was accustomed to by now. Looking around, she did not see her Blue Bell anywhere amongst the troops and grew worried until her eyes fell on Zack at his regular table…but he was alone. Acting casual, Tifa made her way over with a pitcher to the Colonel and poured him a drink while whispering, "Where's our young Lieutenant this evening?"
Zack chuckled slightly as he produced a slip of paper from his uniform pocket.
"I feel like I'm back in high school."
She took the note happily and smiled at Zack's joke, always looking out for Cloud. Cloud was lucky to have a friend like that, and so Tifa told Zack so. "Someone needs to keep an eye on him. I don't want him getting hurt in the cruel world out there." She nodded, taken aback by Zack's sudden dark demeanor and said a quick goodbye before returning to the bar's counter.
It had been a few days since Tifa had found out about Cloud's ulterior motive for being with her, but now that she knew, she could deal with it and had reasoned that Cloud had not had a choice. It was better to pretend then to be exposed, and she was finding that out first hand whether she liked it or not. Cloud's lying did not bother her as much as to why he had to do it; obviously, the Captain did not trust her and he had his reasons why, now that she thought back on the few encounters she had had with Vincent.
That night after bar closing, Tifa made her way back to Cloud's room, like the note had told her to do. How could she resist spending a night with Cloud all to herself? She knew it was a risk but it was one she was willing to take to get some sort of happiness back in her life. She was snuggled comfortably under the covers with the man she loved and yet she could not sleep.
Every time she closed her eyes, Tifa saw Reno's arrogant face, Vincent's guarded stance when she was near, Sephiroth's wolfish grin, and finally Rufus Shin-Ra reigning judgment upon her. After a few endless hours of this, Tifa snuggled closer to Cloud, hoping that his nearness would make her feel better and also peering to see if he would be any company to chase these images away. He was out cold and so she slipped out of bed, making her way to Zack's room.
Her pajamas swayed with each step while she walked across the hall to the Colonel's door. Ever since he had been keeping an eye out for her and Cloud, Tifa had come to think of him as an older brother of sorts who gave out rather helpful advice, according to Cloud. If he was awake, he might be able to help her look at this in a different perspective without getting the full story, of course; if not, then she would have to deal with this somehow on her own, at least for tonight. She did not feel uncomfortable about seeking his council in the middle of the night, not until a young woman opened his door before Tifa even had a chance to knock.
"Oh," both women stepped back, the maiden in pink blushing to match the shade of her dress while Tifa just looked at her curiously. "So you must be Zack's lady fair, Aerith."
Her blush deepened and she nodded in response, unable to speak. Aerith walked fully out into the hallway and closed the door behind her, not wanting to wake up her young Colonel.
"Zack usually scolds me for spending the night with Cloud." Aerith's innocent eyes widened and Tifa rethought her words. "What I mean is…we don't-" Her face burned crimson as she lowered her head, her hair acting as a curtain to try and hide her embarrassment. Aerith's giggle brought Tifa's face back into view and the girl gestured back to the room behind her. "We don't either. We just…enjoy each other's company."
A comfortable silence fell between the two young ladies and Tifa's mind drifted off to her man behind the door. She loved him more than anything she ever had before and each night in his arms, each day in the presence of that smile and those intense blue eyes made her heart ache even more when she thought of all the half truths and lies behind it all. She was undercover for an organization that SOLDIER hated for reasons unknown to her and her soul mate was caught in the middle of it. No wonder 'don't get emotionally involved' is the number one rule in this line of work.
Suddenly, Aerith sighed. "I love him so much." Tifa looked at the woman before her, emotions so pure and true that she couldn't stop the tears from escaping her eyes and the next thing she knew, she was silently sobbing. Aerith looked startled before embracing the young barmaid, rubbing her back to soothe the suddenly emotional girl. All of the doubt, fears, anguish, and confusion poured out of her with her salty tears, tingeing her lips with malice.
"I'm sorry," Tifa muttered while pulling away from the flower girl who looked at her with concern and a hint of pity. And why wouldn't she? Here was this strong, confident woman who dealt with the troops every day…so why was she crying? She hated crying…it was a sign of weakness and Lockhearts were anything but. Tifa gave one last watery smile and composed herself quickly before giving Aerith a quick good night and slipping back into Cloud's room. Not so quiet now she rustled the sheets as she moved and was met with Cloud's bleary gaze from sleep filled eyes, hands reaching out to her. She leaned forward and kissed him softly, letting his tongue trace the outline of her lips before giving entrance into her mouth. Her kiss tasted bittersweet, a mix of salt and water played on his tongue…tears? Cloud eased back to look Tifa in the face, taking in her puffy eyes and the somewhat dry tear stains running down her cheeks.
Had she been crying? Cloud gently stroked her cheek with his thumb and she leaned into the touch, craving it…needing this now more than ever. "Tifa, what's wrong?" It was such a simple question with a much more complicated answer than she could say. She ignored it completely, instead lying down on his chest and forcing him down with her.
"I'm fine, Bell." She was trying to get out of this but he would not give in, even if she did use his nickname; two could play at that game. "Teef," he whispered, stroking her hair as he felt her relax into him at the use of his childhood name for her.
Tifa entwined her fingers in with Cloud's, slowly sliding in and out of his grasp as he continued to massage her hair. It was just a touch, the slightest contact of skin, but she felt her breath hitch nonetheless. Suddenly she was very aware of every thing; Cloud's solid form against her, his chest rising and falling steadily, his arm slung casually across her waist and his fingers still in her hair, holding her close. Her heart rate quickened with the slide of sheets in her movement, her leg now closer to his.
The conversation she had had earlier with Aerith came to mind; they had spent many nights together but not in a physically intimate matter. Why is that? Her mind pondered over this, tilting her head up to see Cloud's bemused gaze on her, her hair no longer in his hand. The moonlight played upon his bare chest, throwing every line and curve into contrast distinctly defining his well muscled arms and impressive six pack as well as the hip line that disappeared below the waist line of his pajama pants. Her pulse pounded in her ears while her eyes took in every delectable bit of him.
Tifa loved Cloud so much that words fell short of what they had; they were connected heart and soul, but yet to be one of body. Cloud eyed her in the moonlight, and she had a faint idea that their thoughts were the same. Tifa slowly slid her way up to his face, every curve pressed flush against his side as she leaned in for a kiss. He met her slowly, letting the moment linger before their lips met, the candy sweetness rolling on his tongue before he pulled her fully on top of him, lips still connected.
With one last look and a nod, they rolled and Cloud was above her, kissing a trail that left a path of fire along her body. A glint of a wrapper in the moonlight, racing hearts with kisses lingering and wrapping around their bodies. Breathe in, breathe out is the only sound, no words are needed, only this truth, together moving up and down. Her grip on his shoulders tightening, a gasp and sliding of sheets below while arching into him; he completed her, their love continuing on into the early morning.