AN: Hi All! I know, I know...it's been forever between updates but I'm still plodding away on this! :-) I do hope you tolerate my slackness okay and that the wait is somewhat worth it. I really appreciate all your reviews, messages, alerts and 'gentle' hassling! Thank you.

I did a very quick proofread, having trouble keeping my eyes awake. So I'm really sorry for any typos or errors that I didn't pick up on.

Cheers, Author's Tune

Part 13

The nightmares came back with a vengeance throughout the night; the mild paracetamol and codeine pain relief doing little to dull her subconscious into submission. She fought the invisible force, arms flailing dramatically and confused hands pushing Callie away and then gripping her into her body, caught somewhere between reality and vivid, fear filled images. Callie fumbled with her, whispering false comforts and familiarity to lull her back into a restless sleep, her own consciousness blurred by a thick grogginess of sleep deprivation and stress.

Arizona was still sleeping just after eight in the morning, when two plain clothed detectives entered the private hospital room. Their eyes connected with Callie's and then travelled to Arizona's form before returning back again, questioning. Callie rose slowly from the chair she was curled up in, extricating her arm from where Arizona held a loose grip. "News?" she asked quietly, padding barefoot across the room and leaning against the wall, just adjacent to the closed door.

The female detective cleared her throat and extended a hand. Callie took it and slowly shook, strangely noticing the firm yet gentle grip. "Yes," she responded clearly, keeping her voice hushed.

Callie raised her eyes, waiting patiently for the update to continue. "Let her sleep," Callie insisted after a moment, sensing the hesitation. "If it's bad news, I'll fill her in."

The expression of both faces in front of her changed immediately, carefully controlled features softening as they shook their heads. "Oh no, it's not; at all. Actually, it's fairly good news. They did a second sweep this morning of the accused premises, and a possible weapon was seized. Some security footage was located of Ms Bowers which would have placed her at the scene though there is no direct footage of the incident. We're just waiting some testing, although it had been cleaned, there were still traces of blood visually evident. That'll take a little time though, and until those results come through, we have been granted an order to maintain custody."

Callie breathed an audible sigh of relief; she had been expecting to hear that nothing useful had been found linking Emily to the assault. "So she'll be held pending those results?"

"Yes."

Callie nodded her understanding and tried to interpret the non-verbals. "You don't look convinced?"

The male Detective shrugged his shoulders, his ambivalence was palpable. "It'll depend on the results; there may be enough to charge her with aggravated battery. She's already requesting a psychiatrist, it's unlikely she would be held without bail and the suggestion is that she'll be admitted to a psychiatric facility today."

"A secure facility?"

"It's not up to us."

"Of course," Callie bit back quickly, her voice grating with the effort to contain her frustration and maintain a hushed tone. "She better be involuntary, there's no way she can just walk out of some facility."

She earned a nod of agreement. "Yeah look, I can't really see the court signing off on her release as is. Particularly given the protection order; it's just likely given the way she's presenting that mental health treatment is a priority."

Callie exhaled loudly and nodded slowly. "God forbid my partner's safety would be a priority."

"We'll need a statement," he responded quickly, avoiding any progression into an emotional discussion. There were things he had control of and many that he didn't; court decisions were one of them. "From Dr Robbins, that is. Will she be being discharged today?"

Scowling, Callie glanced back of her shoulder and around the corner. Arizona still lay in the bed, covers drawn but some distinct movements under the blankets could be seen. "Possibly," Callie replied, deliberately vague. "We have your card, from last night. I will bring Arizona down when she's awake and feeling up to it." There was a clear change in Callie's behaviour, squaring her shoulders and evening out her voice. She was fast approaching her limit of watching Arizona be trodden over, the way the system and people within it, had treated her. Over and over again she was being victimised, intimated and assaulted by Emily and then let down by the very protection that every person was meant to be afforded, just be being citizens. The eternally frustrating part of their society were that the absolute lunatics that took away others' rights were given the very same in return. The system was suddenly so very flawed.

"Of course, that's fine. Take your time. Just to reiterate, there is some good news. It's unlikely that Ms Bowers will be released without conditions."

"Yes, I understand. Thank you," Callie responded curtly. "I would appreciate being kept up to date and notified immediately of any transfer or release." Stepping forward, the female Detective extended an arm and squeezed Callie's shoulder. Callie swallowed at the lump that swelled immediately at the small, detached symbol of empathy. "I don't mean to be rude," she murmured after a moment. "This has just been going on and on, it's ridiculous."

"I know. Sometimes we get as frustrated as you do."

"I suppose you do."

"Just come down to the station, when you're both ready. I'll be in touch though. Would you prefer to be called rather than Dr Robbins? I have both of your contact details."

Callie nodded and her expression softened a little in relief. "Please."

They disappeared quietly out the door then, shutting it closed behind them. Arizona was lying back as Callie turned around, eyes open and shoulders slightly raised by an extra pillow she had manoeuvred into place. "Hey," Arizona said softly, voice scratched and uneven with a dry throat.

"Hey yourself," Callie murmured, forcing a smile. "I'm sorry we woke you."

"Police?"

"Yeah, Detectives. Just giving an update."

"Hmmm?" Arizona asked, intonation rising.

Callie walked closer, leaning across the bed and pressing a lingering kiss to Arizona's forehead before dropping her mouth to Arizona's lips. "How are you feeling?" she asked, an open palm to Arizona's cheek and stroking the skin below her cheekbone.

Arizona relaxed slightly and released the breath she was holding. "Feeling okay," she answered. "Not too sore. Sorry, I didn't mean to bombard you."

Callie shook her head. "Don't be sorry, I just wanted to say good morning first and to see how you are. You had a rough night."

A flash of recognition crossed Arizona's eyes and she blinked, keeping her eyelids closed for a moment. "Yeah," she murmured, shuddering. "It all came back to me after that morphine wore off."

"Maybe some sleep this afternoon, if you're feeling up to being discharged. We can get back to the room and away from all this, a little anyway."

Arizona nodded slowly, licking her lips nervously. Callie edged back, sitting down on the edge of the bed with one hand travelling the length of Arizona's arm until their fingers could slip together. "So?" Arizona prompted.

"Well," Callie began quietly, tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear. It was dry and slightly tangled, and for a moment, she couldn't quite remember what day it was or when she had last showered and washed her hair. "There's some good news, maybe better news than we expected really. Or, well, I don't know. I guess; good news." Arizona observed her silently, eyes narrowed as she tried to track Callie's dialogue. "They found the umm, knife...found what they think was the knife that she used. But it has to be tested, all that formal stuff. Make sure it's the right one, even though that seems completely ridiculous. How many knives would she have in her home with a bit of blood on it." Arizona blinked - her blood. "So yeah, that's happening, all the testing at the moment. And they got some security footage, I suppose from the front of the hospital and maybe through some of the corridors. Anyway, all the times match and so that's good too, 'cause they have her in custody now. Holding her for the moment, until they can charge her because I just thought then, even if nothing else, they can get her for breaching the protection order. Coming to the hospital, your work."

"Okay," Arizona whispered slowly. "So that's okay, right? What am I missing?"

Callie shook her head. "Nothing…really."

Sighing, Arizona squirmed in position, wincing at a tug of pain pierced her side. "Please don't hold information back from me, Calliope."

Callie smiled slightly, and squeezed Arizona's hand. "Am I that transparent?"

"Yes."

"They don't think she'll be released unconditionally," Callie explained slowly, watching Arizona focus intently on her. "But she might be released into a psych unit, she's apparently requesting a psychiatrist or something and it sounds, just from reading between the lines, that she's a bit unwell. I mean, we know she's crazy right, but I guess she's really sounding it. The pretending that she's so good at, isn't working. Or maybe that's a strategy, I don't know."

"She's needs help."

A look of disgust flashed across Callie's face and bile bubbled at the back of her throat. "We need help; you need help. She, she deserves to rot in jail."

"Yeah," Arizona murmured, the last thing she wanted was an argument with Callie. "I just meant that maybe if she gets some help, this might all stop."

"This might stop, Arizona?" Callie gasped, dropping her head. "She could have killed you," she murmured, voice breaking. And Arizona was rushed back, flashes of Callie sobbing into Mark's chest, the images carved into her drug dulled consciousness. "I could have lost you," she emphasised, dark brown orbs shining with tears.

"You didn't."

"But I could have."

"I know," Arizona whispered, holding Callie's hand tightly between both of her own. "Trust me, I know. And I feel like I should be apologising," she started to say, a half smile when Callie tensed in her whole and glared at her. "But I figure that response is only half of it."

"Don't you dare…"

Arizona nodded. "Okay," she murmured softly before forcing a change in subject. "Do you think you could help me get sorted for a shower? Maybe it'll help me feel human again, wash a little of this feeling away."

Agreeing, Callie hesitated, fingers grasping Arizona's and their slightly ragged breathing in unison. "Do you want to get out of here today?" she asked gently.

"Yes," Arizona responded, without a hint of doubt.

"Okay, but I need to hear from you that this wasn't your fault. I didn't mean to make it sound like it was; that's the last thing I want to say. There's so much actually, that I want to say to you but my mouth, I'm fairly sure, has a mind of its own."

"Call, don't. You don't need to do this, at all. I just want to take a shower, and I'm fairly sure I'm starting to smell, so it's in the best interest of all."

Callie smiled but shook her head. "Tell me, Arizona."

Eyes dropping instantaneously, Arizona drew in a slow deep breath, willing the involuntary swell of tears to subside before they fell down her pale cheeks. "I don't know," she mumbled.

"You don't know?"

"I don't know how to tell you what you want to hear."

"Sweetheart."

Arizona shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut at the tear the movement released, slowly rolling over her high cheekbone before disappearing below her jawline. "I just want to have a shower," she articulated with broken syllables, tugging her hands free of Callie's.

"Can you listen to me? For a just a minute?" Callie asked, resting her palms against Arizona's blanket covered thighs when her fingers withdrew suddenly from her tight touch. "You've got this look in your eye and it's the same one I've seen a few times lately. And seriously, it freaks me out. It's the same look that you had when we sat on my sofa and stupidly decided that we couldn't compromise; that we weren't enough to make this work. I'm not running, Arizona, okay? I'm here and I'm so not getting this right all the time, but there is not a chance in hell that I am going anywhere. And I will not let you run, either – if you want to go somewhere, than I go too. Where ever, whenever, if it's half way around the world, I don't care. If you really just want to leave this all behind then I will not stay here without you, okay?"

Arizona shuddered in silent reply, heart rate quickened and throat tight. "I didn't say that." The words were barely audible.

"You didn't have to, I can see it; I've been seeing it. You think you have to protect me, right? You're constantly searching for a way to keep me safe." It was a risk, and Callie knew she was taking a inconceivable gamble; Arizona could just as easily extract herself and never look back.

"I did this to you." Arizona could hardly get the words out, teeth clenched and unknowingly, grating at her throat with her nails.

"No," Callie retorted quickly and firmly. "You didn't actually, put the blame where it should be. And that isn't on you, it's on that crazy woman who is currently in custody – she's in custody."

"Calliope, I can't do this anymore."

"I know you can't; I know. But taking off, not an option – please?"

Arizona hesitated before dropping her hands to the bed. She curled her hands into fists and weakly punched at the hard hospital mattress. "I am, so fucking scared."

Callie closed her eyes in a prolonged blink, exhaling a shaky breath. She nodded, slowly. "None of this is your fault…"

"I know, I do. I just don't know what else to do, I really don't. I just can't do it."

Covering Arizona's fists with her hands, Callie ducked her head until she drew Arizona's gaze, earning a small, tearful smile at the deliberate effort. "What can I do?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Maybe we start with that shower?"

Arizona nodded. "Please," she murmured, drawing her chapped lower lip into her mouth and chewing on it. "I don't want to leave you," she said quietly, easing her legs off the side of the bed; they dangled, not quite reaching the sterile floor.

"Good," Callie said, moving to stand in front of Arizona and cupping her face with her hands. "And you won't give it another thought, will you?" Arizona blushed in response, it was an instinct she knew she would have again. She had proven time and time again, that she wasn't afraid of being hurt if it meant protecting the ones she loved. "Okay, should I reframe that? You'll tell me, right? Won't leave me stressing when I can see it on your face, read in those blue eyes of yours?"

"I won't," Arizona concurred huskily.

Callie nodded, slipping her hands down Arizona's neck and over her shoulders. Arizona stood shakily, her body stiff and sore but largely unpainful. Blocking her after a few steps, Callie's expression became serious, eyes intently meeting Arizona's glazed look. "I love you Arizona and one day, one day soon when all this crap is behind you, us; I'm going to ask you to marry me."

Eyes widening, Arizona's mouth fell slightly agape, breath subconsciously held mid inhalation. "What?" she gasped.

"Yep," Callie said confidently, nodding as the corners of her mouth twitched into a smile at the realisation of what she had just expressed. "I don't want you to be too surprised; I know how you hate that. But, I'm just putting it out there okay. I want nothing more than for us to be married but I'm not insane, I know this isn't the time. But I want you to know that every day I just find myself loving you more…so much more. And I quite genuinely, can't imagine my life; or a day even, without you in it."

"Calliope." Arizona face was unreadable, fresh tears again glistening against the fluorescent lights and her fingertips, lightly tapping at Callie's abdomen, the crushed shirt material barely registering the touch.

Callie rolled her eyes, nervousness fluttering in the pit of her stomach. "I know, I'm still the soppy one, even after all this time."

Arizona shook her head. "No," she said quietly, expression serious. "I can't wait for you to ask me."

They shared a brief, almost embarrassed look before their lips met in a gentle, affectionate kiss before Arizona leant her body carefully against Callie. Tender arms snaked around her shoulders. "Okay?" Callie asked after a few minutes.

"Not really," Arizona answered honestly, voice muffled into Callie's shoulder. "But at some point I will be, won't I?"

"Yes, you will. I don't make stupid promises, but that one I'll keep."

"Thank you." Arizona drew in a deep breath. "I can't begin to say how much I love you too."

It was another minute before Callie broke the silence. "Let's get you cleaned up, hey?"

Being led into the small adjoining bathroom, Arizona allowed Callie to check her sutures and dressings, applying a thin waterproof sheath to keep the gauze dry. She lingered whilst Arizona showered, busying herself with tying and retying her hair into a short ponytail and brushing her teeth. She was deliberately loitering really, waiting in case Arizona needed help working the shampoo into her hair or rinsing it out. She didn't, but did gratefully step into a hospital towel when Callie held it out for her, skin clean and brighter, yet still painfully pale. "A little better?" Callie asked, taking a second towel from a pile in the corner of the bathroom. The material was so rough, a testament to too many times washed with a commercial disinfectant.

Arizona nodded and smiled. "Yes." Her eyes were sunken with deep, dark blue circles underneath her lower eyelids. They created such a shadow on her fair complexion. "Bet you're keen for one when we get back to the room, hey?"

"God yes," Callie eagerly answered. "And a change of clothes will be fabulous."

Arizona screwed her nose up, tilting her head forward so her hair hung over her face and dripped to the floor. Using the towel, Callie worked the ends free of water and then rubbed at her scalp. "Me too," she agreed, knowing that Callie had found an old change of clothes in the back of her work locker though the khakis were at least a size too big and the long sleeve shirt was usually kept for cold days, worn underneath her scrubs and then followed by her thick white coat. The scrubs she had been wearing the day before had been cut off of her and the idea of stepping back into a pair was almost nauseating in that moment; an odd morphing of worlds.

Briefly checking the three covered wounds, Callie nodded her approval. "They're still good, you right to get dressed?"

"Yes."

"Alright, I'll go organise discharge papers and bring them back. Happy for me to organise Mark to drive us?"

"Yeah of course, as long as he's free. We can always take a cab if he's caught up."

Callie smiled, Arizona was incredibly oblivious to the concern and fear that not just Mark and Teddy were quietly experiencing, but everyone in that trauma room the day before. Close to Arizona or not, she was one of their own. "My run of text messages and missed calls says he's definitely around and waiting."

A glimpse of self-deprecation flashed fleetingly across Arizona's face. "Oh, okay. They know I'm okay, right? I hope no one's worrying too much."

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Callie said, "yes, Arizona. No one really cared that you came in as a trauma call, stabbed in the hospital ground. Look to be honest," she continued, voice oozing a coy sarcasm, "they're really hoping to get rid of you. You're so annoying."

Arizona lightly slapped at Callie's arm with her fingertips. "Sarcasm is not your strong point. Go on, get things sorted."

"Yeah yeah," Callie said, nodding. She took two steps before halting and sliding backwards, pressing a lingering kiss to Arizona's cheek, damp hair against her eye.

Only then did she exit properly, clicking the bathroom door into place behind her and pressing at her phone screen before holding it to her ear with her shoulder. "Everything's fine…" she responded quickly, Mark having answered the phone with a rush of urgent questions. "You free to be our chauffeur shortly?"

Sitting in a plastic chair, Emily's heel tapped continuously against the leg, monotonous and unrelenting. Her eyes stared straight ahead, glazed and unfocussed; she frowned at times, at the plain white wall. At every question, she stuttered. Half answers with broken phrases, half words. Where she once made sense, provided logical if not evasive answers; now, only irrationality remained.

"Security footage shows you entering the main entrance of the hospital; what were you doing there?"

When the words were articulated, past the stammering, they were tangential and hung in a place that was neither present, nor past. "They fix the broken parts, hands of God. Mending; rainbows on walls."

"Did you intend to hurt Arizona Robbins?"

"Red. Only red hearts that beat as one; fairy dust. Fairy dust in the air, fixing the spawn."

"Where did you get the knife? From your apartment?"

"The lights are bright there; brown hair on blonde. Blue, crystal blue, sees no façade. Only false forevers."

"Do you have a mental illness, Emily? Do you see a Psychiatrist?"

She laughed, hauntingly; too far gone for logical answers. She had already requested her therapist, hours ago when she was deciphering reality. But then he slammed his fists on the desk and the walls shook; she was lost on impact. "White, white walls and the children scream. There are no parents here, broken, broken, broken, broken, children." Her face contorted and she raised a hand to her mouth, fingers visibly trembling. The noise she emitted was high pitched and loud, a reverberating sound that echoed in the small, four walled room.

The officers winced and shared a stare. They nodded. "Call nine one one, this woman's a nut job. Needs a bloody long sleep, we'll keep her under armed guard; I'll get the paperwork started. More freakin' paperwork, I could have been lawyer you know, got accepted in Harvard."

"Yeah yeah, keep dreaming the good dream. You're saving the world, one crazy at a time. This wasn't in the academy spiel."

"No it was not. Bastards, they'd never recruit anyone if this was the crap they advertised. Get the paramedics, and maybe some earplugs."

"Yeah, righto."

"And tell 'em not to take her to Seattle Grace, the victim is a doctor there – though patient after the knifing." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Quiet hey, there's no need for squealing." The continuous noise had already frayed his last semblance of nerves. "Shhhhh," he added, trying to meet Emily's eyes though they stared right through him.

Rocking slightly in the seat, she held her hands out in front of her and rubbed her fingers together. Over and over, the same repetitive movement as her vocal cords constricted and the noise halted. "Red paints the world, red red red. She was once so beautiful," Emily murmured and cocked her head, eyes on the ceiling and mouth agape. "Butterflies on her hair, cast in shadows. She shadowed her, dark dark…" Elongating the final word she dissolved again, half crying and half muttering nonsensical words to herself.

Until the paramedics slipped the white pills in her mouth.

TBC...