Rated M for Mature Content. 18 and older please!
(This warning is needed for this chap!)
Some people won't like how this story is going to turn and that's okay. Feel free to hit the little 'x' and stop reading.
For those of you that have stuck by me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. LOVES!
Peter left shortly after he told me that Jake needed to learn control of turning into a wolf and that I shouldn't worry.
I would worry though. He's my best friend and hopefully he always would be.
Edward was leaned back against my pillows again and motioned for me to lay against his chest. Though this whole boyfriend thing was new to me, I found it extremely easy to trust him and feel comfortable around him. It was as if this was exactly where I was supposed to be.
"It is, love." Edward murmured in response to my thoughts. "That comfort you feel with me is from the mate bond." His long fingers drew silky patterns on my upper arm. I sighed happily as I laid my cheek on his chest.
"Can you tell me more about the mate bond, please?" I thought to him.
Making a noise in the back of his throat, I lifted my head to look at him, seeing his furrowed brows and raised one of mine in question. "You're not going to speak now that Peter's gone?" He asked, sounding a little hurt and annoyed.
Sitting up and grasping his hand, I gathered my courage from deep down inside myself, I whispered. "Yes, I'll speak. Edward, please don't be jealous of Peter. He's one of my best friends. He saved my life. I'll never be able to repay him and I know he doesn't want me to...but please don't be angry that we are close. It's completely platonic, I promise you." I wasn't sure how to go about placating a jealous man so I was hoping I did okay. Edward had nothing to worry about. Not only was I never once interested in Peter that way, he was a bit of a man-whore. He loved his women and women loved him.
Smiling in relief, Edward wrapped me up in his arms again and gently pressed my head into his chest, dragging his fingers through the curls that rested on my back. I knew he was crushing my victory rolls, but I didn't care in the slightest. Honestly, I was getting a bit of a headache from them. Without another thought, Edward started meticulously and feather lightly undoing the bobby pins from my hair and combing it out with a gentleness I didn't expect. I felt like purring like a cat, that's how good it felt. With no trouble at all, this man made me feel like I was worthy of more than I'd been dealt.
Jake's words from earlier this evening rang through my head. "What you went through is not normal hurt. What you will go through is not normal hurt. You got handed a shit deal, Bells…"
He was right. I had. My life was nothing like the rom-coms I'd seen or the books I'd read. My life had been a veritable hell and I was ready to be past it.
"Could you tell me about your disease, Bella?" Edward's voice was but a whisper, as if he was afraid I would deny him. I hadn't told him yet, not only because we were still learning each other and it had only been two days but also because there had been so much going on. The force of nightmarish thoughts that had evaded my mind over and over, the toll it had taken on my body...I knew he deserved to know.
He was my mate, after all.
"I have Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. It's running slower than they've ever seen...but I got it when they did the surgeries on my stomach."
"CJD usually kills within months, Bella." Edward's voice was choked up and he held me tighter to him. "This is why you're so at ease with becoming like me?"
I nodded against him. "When it finally stops crawling through me and strikes, which the doctors have warned me could happen any time, I will only have maybe a month and most of that will be spent with my muscles jerking involuntarily and my eyes going blind. My brain will stop working and I just don't want that to happen. I'd rather shoot myself than deal with that if there was no other alternative. Now that I have you, I can't think of a better way to spend my life."
"Lives." Edward murmured lovingly. "We'll have many lives together, love." He continued stroking my hair and my arm with his hands as he held me to him. "I'm so sorry, Bella."
"Don't. Don't pity me. I may have been dealt a shitty hand but I refuse to give up now that I've found you. You really are my salvation." I whispered. A quiet rumbling rolled through his chest and I nuzzled my cheek into him. "Are you purring?" I asked with a smile.
"I can't help it. You make me feel so good. Just being able to hold you like this is the best thing I've ever done in my existence." He said without stopping the purring. I understood what he meant since I had thought the same thing only moments before, wishing I could purr as well.
His words had my soul soaring and my smile widening. I sat up, pushing against his chest and giving him a kiss. I loved the way our lips moved together. I sat back and crossed my legs before the kiss could get out of hand. I wanted it to get out of hand, but that was beside the point. I had to ask him about Jake.
At my thoughts, Edward groaned and ran a hand down his face.
"You were going to ask that I stay away from Jacob, weren't you?" I asked him. My voice was a little louder than a whisper, but still very quiet.
"Bella, you have to understand. Wolves are volatile and run purely on their emotions. They aren't safe. I'm only thinking of your safety." I was shaking my head before he had finished his poor explanation.
Getting a little worked up, I ended up signing as well as whispering harshly. "Vampires are volatile and run purely on instinct. They play with their food and they relish in it. The wolves are protectors, meant to keep the humans safe. I learned that much from the legends myself." At Edward's wounded look, I softened my features and laid my hands on either side of his face, kneeling at his side. "You and Peter and your family...You can be just as dangerous but you're not. Understand? The wolves can be dangerous, but they're not. Jake is my very best friend and has been there for me every step of the way, no matter my attitude, no matter if he didn't know what I was going through or if he did. He was there. I don't care if he turned into a fire breathing dragon. He would never hurt me. Ever."
Finally looking contrite, as if my words had sunk into his head as slow as molasses, Edward looked down at his lap then peeked up at my through his lashes. "You're absolutely right, love. Please forgive me. I only worry about you. I don't know what I would do if I lost you, now that I've found you."
He pulled my hands off his face only to hold them firmly in his. I stayed kneeling beside him but sat my butt on my ankles. His eyes were intense and it made things tingle. I wondered what it would be like to see those eyes, that intense burning, staring at me from above me. Giving myself to him would be easy. He was someone I trusted, surprisingly - even though it's been so fast - and he was someone I was falling in love with. I'd never ever had that and I found that I really wanted it.
Without a word, Edward wrapped one arm around my hips and another behind my shoulders, spinning us so that I was on my back and he was hovered above me. I stared up at him, loving the look in his eyes as he stared back at me. "Is this okay?" He whispered. I nodded and his face dropped, lips pressing to mine. I kissed him back with a fervor I'd never felt before. His body hovered over me, not touching me except where his arms were still wrapped around me. My hands went to his hair, my fingers grasping and pulling as I let the feelings course through me.
When he pulled back, I frowned but at Edward's dazed smile, I whispered a giggle and relaxed. "I should let you get ready for bed." He said thickly. I loved the sound of arousal in his voice. "Charlie's getting up to use the bathroom and he forgot to tell you something so he'll be coming in. I'll see you tomorrow." He breathed quickly into my ear before placing a kiss there. He was gone a moment later and I just had enough time to pull my comforter over me as I heard the bathroom toilet flush.
A knock on the door and a quick peek in, Charlie opened the door wider at my wave and smile. "I forgot to tell ya, Bells." He started, his voice gruff with sleep. "We're going to Billy's tomorrow. I know I said you could go to Rosalie's but can you go later or Sunday instead?" He wiped his eyes with his palms.
Damn. I'd wanted to spend time with Edward but I knew Charlie wanted me to spend time with him. I'd have eternity with Edward. I wouldn't have Charlie forever, unfortunately.
"Sure, Dad." I whispered with a smile. His sleepy eyes widened and he rushed over to me.
"Bells!" He choked out. "You talked!"
I nodded and felt the tears prick my eyes painfully as a blush crept over my cheeks. I loved that I could make him smile like I'd just given him the best present ever. "Yeah, I think I'm going to be okay. I'm trying, Dad."
Leaning down, he nearly crushed me with his hug and I wrapped my arms around him awkwardly as I tried to keep covered. I didn't want him to see that I hadn't changed for bed yet and it was getting close to two thirty in the morning. He kissed my cheek and when he pulled back to stand up, I saw he was trying to hide the tears in his eyes. I looked down and flattened my hand over my comforter, giving him a moment to compose himself.
"That's good, kiddo. That's real good. I'm so proud of you." He said with emotion thick in his voice. I met his eyes once more and smiled shyly. "Goodnight, sweetheart. Get some sleep, sorry to bother you."
As he turned toward the door, I made sure my voice could be heard over the squeak in my bedroom door. "You're never a bother, Dad. Love you."
Clearing his throat, he didn't look back but stopped for a moment. "Love you too." I could hear the tears in his voice and it formed a lump in my throat.
When I heard Charlie's bedroom door shut, I got out of bed and gathered my sleep clothes, wiping the tears from my face.
This was progress, I thought to myself as I readied for bed. Charlie and I were like two peas in a pod and I knew I'd have to do much better so that he could have all he could with me before I couldn't see him for a while. I had to tell him about that and I was nervous. How do you tell your father you were going to die so that you could live forever?
...Though maybe it would go better than when Peter'd told him I was just going to die. I hadn't been there for that conversation but my dad had been nearly inconsolable for a month after that phone call. Jake had told me that Embry's mom had been there for him. At least he had someone to look after him before I could come home. I hadn't met Embry's mom yet and I wondered if I would. I didn't even know her name. It had all been hush hush, even when I had tried teasing Charlie about getting a girlfriend. He'd stammered, blushed, and grunted, giving me no real answer.
Snuggled down in my bed, I drifted off with the scents of my boyfriend - que girlie giggle - wafting into my nose and psyche, giving me a dreamless, restful sleep. I was woken up to the slam of the front door at eight a.m. as Charlie went out for his Saturday morning run, the smells of coffee and Edward filling the room. I stretched before I opened my eyes and startled when I realized I wasn't alone. My eyes popped open and I gasped when I saw Edward smiling down at me. He was leaning against the pillows, a respectable distance away as I slept, looking the picture of ease, I noticed as my eyes took him in...If it weren't for the bulge in his denim jeans. I blushed and averted my eyes.
Edward chuckled and I smiled before darting out of the bed, completely forgetting the state of my undress. I had only chosen a skimpy old white tank top that was full of holes and threadbare and a pair of black bikini panties. I blushed to the roots of my hair as I snatched my robe off the back of my bedroom door before running to the bathroom. Edward's musical laughter floated after me.
"What are you doing here so early?" I asked quietly as I settled down on my desk chair with a fresh cup of coffee, my robe tied tightly around my waist, my teeth and hair freshly brushed. I felt much better but was still embarrassed that he'd seen me that way. I'd never shown that much skin in front of anyone willingly and now he had seen the scars on my body. My upper arms and thighs had a good bit of flaws. I could only be thankful that I was at least wearing a tank top. My stomach was mutilated.
"You should never feel embarrassed around me, love. You're beautiful no matter what you look like." He reassured me. "I just couldn't stay away and I've got to say, I'm glad that I didn't. You're absolutely stunning first thing in the morning."
I sipped the hot, caramel sweetened goodness in the U-Dub coffee mug as I kept my eyes on him. He made me feel brazen and sexy, the look in his eyes so tender yet intense as he watched my every move. I knew I should feel like the prey to his predator but I felt like a lover instead. For some reason, the thoughts of my scars, my deformities, didn't even register in my mind for another second. The way he looked at me seemed to cancel out any of the bad whatsoever.
I watched as Edward's eyes widened while I set my half empty mug on my computer desk and stood slowly. I felt as if I wasn't in my own body as my fingers untied the belt to the robe and I let it fall behind me, landing with a soft whoosh into the chair I'd just stood from. Edward's eyes traveled over my body, pausing and lingering on my breasts, watching as my nipples beaded from the cool air.
"What...what are you doing, love?" Edward's voice was strained and I watched with no small amount of amusement as the bulge in his pants twitched. "Bella."
My eyes met his again and I blushed. I wasn't quite sure he even wanted this, much less why I was being so forward. Suddenly, he was in front of me and his cool hands embraced my cheeks. "Don't ever doubt my feelings for you. Whether it's love or affection or…" His eyes hooded and his voice dropped an octave, sending a shiver down my spine. "sexual attentions. I will always, always want you. I just don't want you to do anything you'll regret later. This is all your pace."
He was literally the sweetest man in the world. "I can't explain why I have these feelings so fast or how I can be this way with you, but I am ready." I wondered if it was the mate bond, if it really was such a strong pull, or if I was just being a normal teenaged girl for once. I'd been such a late bloomer because of the hell I'd endured...I hadn't even gotten my first period until after I'd been saved by Peter.
Jesus, I'd not known what was going on with me but the doctor assured me that a lot of women in the world didn't get their periods until their later teen years.
I shook myself from those odd thoughts.
Here was a beautiful, sexy man who loved me, who wanted me. He looked at me like I was a precious stone. His fingers carded into my hair as he cupped the back of my head and pressed me into him, staring into my eyes. My curves fitted into him like the perfect puzzle piece and I pushed into him more, wanting to feel all of him. One hand drifted down my body, brushing along the side of my breast and gripping my hip as he pressed his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed as his chest rumbled with a growl, vibrating against me.
I could feel his erection pressed into the soft part of my stomach and pushed against him, making his growl deepen and his hand grip my hip tighter. The sensations he was creating in me were amazing. I'd never felt this way before. The lust that coursed through my body set my veins aflame and I never wanted this to end. Suddenly on my back on my bed, I gasped when I realized Edward had stripped his shirt and my hands went straight to his chest, tracing the firm contours of his body. He shivered as my fingertips learned him and he bent over me to kiss my lips softly.
"Can I touch you, Bella? I'll go slow and at your pace. I'll never push you." He asked, his eyes honest and hopeful.
I wanted him to.
"Please." I whispered, never ceasing my touches to his skin.
Tentatively, Edward traced my cheek and neck, down over my shoulder, as he held himself over me on one arm. His eyes followed his movements and my hands dropped to my sides so he could explore. I watched him carefully for his reaction. My skin was riddled with scars and burn marks but he didn't seem disgusted by them. He looked at me with awe and it made me feel pretty. The soft touches made goosebumps rise on my skin and I shuddered as his fingertips traced over my clothed side.
I let out a breathy whimper when his fingers played with the hem of my worn tank top and he paused, looking into my eyes. I closed mine and breathed in deeply but before I could gather the courage to nod at him, he decided on a different course. His hand gingerly cupped me between my thighs and waited. When my eyes opened I saw the question in his and this time I did nod. My knees fell open on either side of his hips, though he didn't bear down on me. His body continued hovering over me, barely brushing against my skin.
I let my hands hesitantly touch his sides and I relished in the way his skin jumped at my touch. His fingers gently started caressing me over my panties and my breath started coming in faster pants. We stared into each other's eyes as he touched me so carefully. My hips started to move, slowly of their own accord, and his eyes lit up.
"You're so warm, Bella. So soft." He murmured.
Tracing the inner side of my panties, his fingers dipped inside and when his cool skin touched my slick lips, I almost came undone. My eyes closed as my head pushed back into the comforter and I inhaled sharply at the pure ecstasy that traveled through me. Never had a touch felt so good on my body.
"Oh, love. You feel amazing." Edward breathed.
My hooded eyes opened as his fingers continued caressing my center and I felt the tight coil in my lower abdomen tighten further. My inner walls fluttered and pulsed with the nearness of my orgasm. Edward pushed down onto me slightly, letting me feel the pulsation of his own arousal.
It only turned me on further.
"You're so wet for me." He spoke quietly, his voice deeper with his lust, as he kissed up the side of my neck before his lips found mine. A single finger entered me and that's all it took for the waves of pure heaven to crash over me. My core tightened and squeezed his finger as my hips bucked into his hand and I felt his erection jump in anticipation of his own climax. I pressed my hips into him, bucking as I rode my orgasm to completion.
A moan slipped from my lips and Edward gasped. I felt the cool wetness against my naked thigh as he came inside his pants, breathing heavily into my neck. His finger slipped from my panties and he adjusted himself before lying next to me on the bed, his face close to mine.
"Oh God." I whispered.
"Oh God, indeed love. You're so beautiful when you come."
The words, though naughty, sent another wave of lust through me and he chuckled.
"We don't have time for more right now. Your father is almost here from his jog." His voice was still breathy.
I groaned quietly. "Please don't mention my father after we've done something like that." I whined.
The laugh that escaped his mouth could be recorded as a best selling single, it was that musical. "Sorry, love."
"I need to get ready to go with my dad." I told him a few moments later.
Edward nodded and stood from the bed, holding his hand out to help me up. My legs felt weak and I felt giddy. "Just please promise me that you'll be careful. If Jacob is as moody as you say then he may be close to phasing. Please don't entice his anger, love. Promise me." His eyes were wide with a building panic and I cupped his face as I whispered reassuringly.
"I promise. I'll be on my best behavior." I swore.
"Can I see you tonight?" He asked eagerly as his hands found my hips.
"If we get back before too late, I will text you. Could you have Rosalie pick me up?" I asked, my voice still a quiet murmur. I was feeling a lot more safe in his presence now - in Forks in general - and didn't mind letting my voice strengthen. I figured that there would be less picking on me if Rosalie were the one to show up to bring me to the Cullens than Edward. My dad was already having a field day with me having a boyfriend.
I was actually surprised that he wasn't more leery.
"Of course. Text one of us and she will be here in minutes. I'll miss you. Please be careful." He stressed.
I pulled the black long sleeved steampunk dress from my closet before laying it on the back of my computer chair. "I promise, Edward. I'll be careful." I said turning to him. I saw his eyes lingering on the dress.
"What will you wear with that?" He asked curiously, though I noted a touch of jealousy.
I smiled as I gathered the rest of my outfit for the day. A bright red rose clip for my hair that I would pull into a high ponytail, kneehigh black flat footed boots with large bronze buckles on the sides, black pantyhose, and a bright red bust cardigan. The finishing touch will be my Rockabilly glasses, of course.
"You'll look beautiful, love. As always." He smiled softly.
The front door slammed and we heard Charlie stomp into the kitchen. Edward grabbed me into a tight hug and kissed my temple. "I'll see you later. I love you." He said, staring dreamily into my eyes.
My heart fluttered. "I love you too. Bye, Edward." I whispered.
The crooked smile he gave me just before he jumped out my window made my knees weak.
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