A/N: hello all! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Ive had a bit of writers block and im sure this new chapter will reflect it but bear with me please

Disclaimer. Don't own twilight. Nope. Not one little bit.

BPOV

I stayed in the forest, my back against a tree and watching the river for hours. Sometimes I would actively think, other times I merely let my mind wander. I didn't have a mission that night; in truth I wasn't sure I could handle any more serious thought. I merely let my thoughts glide.

Hours passed, and night turned into morning. This was my favorite time of the day. Dawn. Even the word was beautiful. It described a new beginning, a time of starting over. Everything was brightest this time of day. The colors were vivid yet not washed out by the sunlight and you could practically feel the energy of the world around you begin to rise up. Dawn was beautiful. If I could have ever had a daughter, I would have named her Dawn. To me it meant rebirth.

I didn't go to school that day. I don't think anyone really expected me to. Instead I merely sat by the river, looking into its depths and losing myself in the pools of water. I wanted to stay there forever. Looking at the river was safe. It gave me peace and didn't give me drama. I hated drama and these last few days had been the most dramatic since I had learned vampires existed, 70 long years ago.

My mind toyed with the idea of just leaving and never coming back. I didn't want to be in this town any longer. I didn't want to be here, not when that's where Edward was. For so many years I had longed for him, praying he would find me and we could just pick up where we left off. But life doesn't work that way. He couldn't just come back into my world and we would ride off into the sunset as if nothing had happened. The bastard had lied to me and used me, and over time I had come to realize this, my longing for him was replaced by the desire to stay as far away from his as possible.

I would never ask the family to come with me; I couldn't bring myself to ask them to rearrange their lives just because I had been introduced to an uncomfortable situation. But I wanted to go.

But even as I had the idea I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. At least not permanently. First, that would make me a coward. I was stronger than that and was tired of fighting the urge to run away. I'd been feeling it so much lately I wanted to slap myself. If I did though, I would probably at the very least dislocate my jaw.

Second, I didn't think I would be able to leave my family. I would miss them too much, especially Macy. They were my friends, they were my family, they were my everything. I could not do that to them. They had given me their everything and I refused to leave them, which would tell them that I did not appreciate their generosity. They deserved better.

Third, if I left, I would be running away from the other family I had longed for. Could I truly leave the Cullens after I had found them again?

I waited until several hours after I knew that everyone would be at school before I made my way back to the house. Even then I didn't hurry my pace. I was in no rush.

The house was still redolent with the Cullens' scents. I could smell them all: Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, the new girl, and…him. Mildly I resented it. I didn't want their reminders. Not now.

I retreated to my room. At least the only scents there would be those of people I cared about. I flung myself onto my bed, trying not to think. I was tired of thinking. But also, I was tired of trying to not think. Dammit I didn't want this! I was beginning to happy. Why did I have to be forced into this?

So I lay there on the bed as I had done so many times before, staring at the ceiling and mentally exhausted yet unable to do anything about it. Gradually I became more and more agitated.

I jumped off the bed and began pacing my room. When that didn't help I walked around the house at a frantic pace, running from the living room to the kitchen, to the library, to my room and back again. I wanted to do something. I didn't want to go to school, and I didn't feel like hunting. I wanted to do something productive. But what is considered productive when time means nothing and every four years you're given another chance?

The house felt like it was closing in on me. As my pace began to transform into a mad dash my thoughts began to grow wilder in panic. The urge, the sheer need to do something was overwhelming.

Suddenly I had an idea and came to an abrupt halt, my heels making a slight dent in the wooden floors as I skidded to a stop. Sprinting to the computer in my room I felt more productive than I had in years. I was finally taking action and doing something worthwhile. Finally I wasn't just going through the motions. Finally, I was going home. There was only flight leaving that day and I had plenty of time to make it. I was going back to Forks.

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LPOV

One week. One week. One week. The two words kept repeating themselves in my head like a mantra. One week. How on earth was I going to figure out what to tell Bella in one week? I'm sorry Bella, but I was the one that attacked you 68 years ago and damned you to a life of the Undead but don't worry I really like you now and hope maybe one day you could like me too. Stupid.

I had been planning on telling her, eventually, but this deadline made it so much harder. I wanted to gain her trust, her friendship, and possibly her love before I did so. I needed time, but I didn't have it. I needed trust, but I didn't have that either. I wanted love, but it didn't seem like that would ever happen for me.

How the hell was I going to tell her? I had spent so much time with her already but didn't feel like I knew her nearly well enough. I still didn't know what made her laugh or what her favorite color was. I didn't know what her favorite food had been as a human or who her favorite writer was. I had wanted to know everything about her, and now I might lose that chance.

I knew if Bella didn't forgive me I would lose not only her but my home. I already knew within a few hours that I wasn't truly welcome anymore. Macy and Aston were not subtle in their resentment. Micah was quiet but in his eyes I thought I saw a gentle pity that I hated more than the resentment. Abraham was the only one who seemed unaffected. He had left the decision up to Bella and me and he would not get involved. If the senior member of the family accepted my stay, he would put up no resistance.

Bella didn't join us for school. Perversely, I was grateful. I didn't think I could handle being around her. With the impending announcement that everyone was waiting for, I knew being around her would create a tension that I wasn't ready to break. I missed walking her to class and seeing her smile, but I would take that loss over the look of horror she would give me later.

I tuned out most of my classes, giving myself over to my thoughts which primarily concerned Bella. One week, how to tell her, losing her. Over and over they repeated themselves; there was no respite.

Eventually lunch came, which I was dreading even more. Now there wasn't the useful excuse of avoidance through classrooms to stay away from the family. I would have to sit there with them and endure their looks of condemnation.

I walked towards the doors slower than usual. Most of the students had already made it in but I shuffled my feet in a desperate attempt to avoid the inevitable. I reached the doors, took a deep breath, and pushed through them.

I made my way to the food line, ready to gather my props and endure a grueling half hour (or 15 minutes by now) with the people I had once hoped would become my family. They weren't completely ostracizing me yet. Like Abraham, they were waiting for Bella's reaction before they made any big decisions.

"Lucian!" a girl's voice called. I turned to see Bella's friend, Katie walking towards me, or perhaps bouncing was a better word. From what I had seen of her Katie never walked. She bounced, bounded, or skipped.

Like with Bella, whenever I saw her I could never help but smile. Something about her energy was infectious.

I smiled at her welcomingly, grateful that my execution with the O'Shannons was postponed, if only for a few minutes.

"Hello, Katie. How are you?"

She flashed me a smile and shrugged, the sunlight catching her gold curls and making them sparkle. For a second I was distracted. She really was quite lovely.

"Where's Bella?" she asked looking around. "Normally you guys walk in together."

"Um, she's not feeling well today so her dad let her stay home." I winced internally at the lie. Normally it wasn't a problem for me to deceive humans; in fact my survival depended on it. But Katie's innocence and lightheartedness made the words turn to ash in my mouth.

Katie bought my lie, of course, and her brow furrowed in concern. "Oh, will she be ok?"

"Of course, it's just a stomach bug. She'll be back tomorrow or in a few days." More ashes.

"Good," Katie smiled again, then seemed to turn hesitant, which I already knew was unusual for her. "Well…then would you mind if I talked to you? I have a couple things I want to say."

I felt confused but overwhelmingly curious. "Ok," I said slowly. "Just let me grab some food."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Please," she said. "Don't even bother. You never eat it. I've seen your tray when the bell rings." I froze. Did she know something? Katie continued, oblivious to my tension. " Bella doesn't eat lunch either. I'd be worried you guys were closet anorexics or something but you obviously aren't too thin. Whatever," she shrugged again. "Some people just aren't hungry during lunch. Don't see why you want to hide it though," she grumbled.

I smiled again, relieved yet surprised. She obviously didn't suspect anything, but her observational skills both impressed and concerned me. I hadn't realized she was so aware of her surroundings. Most humans were oblivious to anything that didn't concern themselves.

Katie took my smile as agreement and motioned me towards the doors to the atrium. Normally people weren't out there this time of year; they preferred the heated rooms inside to the icy wind and snow-covered cement. I could only assume she had chosen this place for the privacy. No one would overhear us out here.

Katie brushed snow off one of the cement tables and sat down on the bench. I did the same across from her and settled my forearms on the table. I looked at her expectantly.

She chewed her lip the same way Bella did when she was nervous and stared down at the table. She was still hesitant so I prompted her. " You wanted to talk to me?"

Katie took a deep breath and plunged in, her words coming a hundred miles an hour. "Look, I know you like Bella," she began in a rush. "She's a really good friend of mine and I love her and I don't want to see her get hurt. She's a good person and she was screwed over before." Inside I snorted. If only you knew. "I don't want to see that happen again.

"It's not that I don't like you, because I do. I think you're a really nice guy and Bella could do a lot worse but I'm really protective of my friends. She's been hurt before and there's just something…" she broke off again and looked up, finally looking at me. Her blue eyes were dazzling and for the first time I understood the whole crap about eyes being the window to the soul. The ones before me pleaded.

"You have to promise that you won't tell Bella I talked to you, especially about what I'm about to say."

Silently I nodded.

"Bella is my friend and I love her, like I've told you, but there's just something in her that seems a little…. broken. When she smiles, I get the feeling like she's forcing it most of the time. I wish she would confide in me, but she's a private person so I have to respect that and just be happy with what she gives me. But I talked to her the other day and I think it might be because of some jerk she fell in love with. That's why I'm concerned now. I don't know if she could handle her heart being broken again."

She cut off abruptly with a short laugh. "This must sound so dramatic to you," she said self-deprecatingly. "I mean, we're only in high school and people tell us that we get over the things that happen to us now. Most of us do. But Bella is different. She's older than 18. I don't know how to describe it, but it's almost like she's been living a century longer than anyone else. And she seems tired. So that's why I think it would affect her more. Do you understand what I mean?"

I was stunned. This tiny, adorable young girl was so perceptive that I was taken aback. I felt like I had been taken unaware, and that put me on the defensive.

I gave a curt nod and snapped out, "She's stronger than you think."

Katie flinched away from my bared teeth, fear flashing across her face before she recovered herself. After her first reaction of fear, her eyes hardened a little and instead of running away like a smart person would, she leaned forward towards me intently.

"I know she's strong," she said softly. Her eyes were hard but behind that I think I saw certain gentleness. "But I think it took her a very long time to become that way. And while she might put up a brave front, I don't think she's as strong as you think. She has the potential to get there, but she's not there yet.

"She's changed in the week or so you've been here, don't think I haven't noticed. But she's not quite there yet. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I've seen this happen before. My parents are divorced, I don't think you know that."

I shook my head, wondering where she was going with this.

"My dad left my mom for his secretary, same song, different verse I know," she smiled sadly. "But after he left, it took my mom a long time to recover. She was shattered. Finally she began to come around, and started dating a new guy. I didn't like him much but I was just so happy that my mom was getting back her self-confidence I didn't think I could say anything. Then the jerk dumped her for a 20-something intern with an orange tan and a boob job. That was a couple of years ago but my mom didn't really recover from it. She doesn't date now, and spends her nights drinking red wine and watching crap TV. And that's how I think Bella will turn out."

She looked at me earnestly. "I don't want to see that happen to Bella. And if you really want to get involved with her, you need to be aware. Bella is beginning to bounce back but I'm not sure she can do it a second time. I've worried about what she'll do in college." She smiled sadly again. "There wont always be people like me to give potential lovers the third degree."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. All I knew was this girl had just bared her soul to me in the hopes that I would treat Bella the way she deserved. I wasn't even sure I could speak, but then Katie began talking again. Really this was turning into a lecture, but I couldn't find it in me to resent the blonde young girl in front of me.

"So what I need to know is what are your intentions with Bella."

I started laughing. Truly I couldn't help it. Intentions sounded so old fashioned. Katie looked at me confused but then started laughing herself. "Wow, that sounded so wrong. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out quite like that."

I shook my head, still laughing. "No," I chortled. "It just sounds like something from an 18th century movie." I calmed myself though, realizing that even had the phrasing been amusing, it was still a valid question.

I sighed, all remnants of laughter retreating from my body. "Katie, I can't promise you I won't hurt her," I said softly. My mind went back to my deadline. "But I can promise you if I do, it will never be intentional. I care about her, but there are some things going on that you don't know. Things that will either make or break my relationship with Bella, depending on how she handles them. But I'm certainly hoping that she will understand and let me help her heal."

Katie nodded thoughtfully. "OK," she said. "I guess that's the best I'm going to get. And honestly, I respect the candidness. You don't get that often from a guy." Her eyes were pained again and I felt the strange urge to comfort her.

"Well!" she said with a smile, obviously shaking herself from the seriousness of the conversation and trying to revert to her happy-go-lucky attitude that was her staple. "I'm sorry for going on such a rant. I didn't mean to. Actually I'm a little embarrassed now. You must think I'm an idiot or crazy or something."

"No, don't be sorry. I don't think anything of the sort." I impulsively grabbed her hand. She would attribute the coldness to the weather outside. She looked down at the hand holding hers but I couldn't see her expression so I continued on before she could make anything out of it.

"All you're doing is being a good friend. Really it's …commendable," my voice lowered on its own account.

Katie looked up at me and smiled. Slowly she withdrew her hand and stood up. Vaguely I wondered at the tingling sensation my hand felt. Most likely it was just the cold. "Lunch is almost over," she said (shyly?). " I have a couple things to do and you got here late so there isn't much time left. I'll get out of your hair now. Thanks for letting me lecture. I'm glad you didn't resent it." With one last (shy?) smile she turned away and headed inside. I didn't follow her, instead watching her retreat.

Normally I would consider such a blunt and upfront invasion of my privacy rude and obtrusive. But with Katie, that didn't seem to be the case. I couldn't help but like her. Her earnestness, the way she truly cared for Bella, even her upfront and direct manner made her endearing. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, but I had never been one to look for pretty faces; my species had so many of those it made it the norm. No, this girl had something more. Her lightheartedness and effervescent personality made her like a sunbeam on a rainy day. That's what it was. She sparkled like sunshine. Or maybe I merely liked her because I cared for Bella. If Bella cared for someone, then I couldn't help but do the dame.

Bella…my mind turned to the beautiful brunette vampire again. What was I going to tell her?

I would, like I had decided, wait until my deadline was over before I told her. But before then, I wanted to do something for her. If I were going to lose her, I wanted at least one more day of happiness to emblaze into my memory. I would take her on my bike one last time. Yes! That's what I would do! I would give her one last ride and we would go hunting. We would have a great time and then the next day I would tell her, and maybe she would remember it when she was decided how to feel.

Part of me wanted to give her something. If she decided she hated me, at least I could give her a memory of our times together. But what? Flowers? No, too cliché. Jewelry? Again, too cliché, and besides, Bella didn't normally wear jewelry. Then I had it, the perfect gift to remind her of the times we had. I would get her a motorcycle helmet of her own. A black one with an inside joke written on it. I knew exactly what. I would give her a black helmet with the words "bite me" emblazoned on the back.

Bella would love it.

I walked back into the cafeteria when the bell rang, still thinking about my gift. If Bella didn't want me in her life, I hoped the bike helmet would at least remind her of better times. Maybe she'd always remember how those days on the bike had made her smile. I may not have been in love with her, but I was close and falling faster every day. And if I lost her, I wanted her to at least remember me and the things we had shared.

I didn't want her to forget me.

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EPOV

I was disappointed but not surprised to find that Bella wasn't in class the next day. As I made my way through the parking lot I couldn't help scanning the area for her, searching in the minds of the fellow students for a glimpse of her. But she wasn't there. I walked into my first class, Madame Schaile smiling at me warmly even as she frantically tried to remind herself that I was a student and thus untouchable. I couldn't help the small smile that came to my lips when I heard her thoughts shift to the students and teachers that had gotten caught, but only because I heard another part of her mind insist that she wouldn't get caught. But that voice was in vain. She wouldn't try anything. She valued her job too much.

"Bonjour, Monsieur Cullen," she smiled warmly. "Comment vas-tu?"

Je suis dans la merde I thought sourly (A/N: roughly translated it means "I am in the shit, but it's French slang for I'm fucked. Both work here) but I merely smiled and gave a slight nod.

I settled into my seat and stared at the empty desk next to mine. I saw the mark in the corner of it that looked at if someone had systematically been rubbing his or her fingernail against it. But that couldn't be it; no human nail would be able to withstand the wear and tear. Unless perhaps…Bella had worn it down? I knew she had always been fidgety in class. She was probably even more so now that she had heard the same lecture umpteenth times. Was it possible that she left this mark?

Without meaning to and oblivious to anyone who might be watching, I reached out and with my own thumbnail traced the indent. Bella, oh my Bella, my darling, my light and my love…

Madame Schaile began class and I withdrew my hand from Bella's desk to form a face of polite interest in the teaching around me. But my thoughts continued to stray to Bella, not that I tried to shy away.

I missed her and was aching to talk to her again, or at least see her. I knew that given everything, had she been in class she would studiously ignore me but I would take it. Just to be able to look at her for a few minutes I would pay whatever price was asked. For so many years I had thought she was dead. And now…this revelation…I knew she hated me but a part of me couldn't help but rejoice. Even if she hated me, to be in her presence was the best kind of heaven. At least she wasn't dead.

I had loved her as a human. I had loved her when I thought she was dead. I still loved her now that she was a vampire. I had never stopped loving her and I would love her to end of my existence with every ounce of my dead heart. If vampires did have a soul, no level of hell could touch me or hurt me if I knew she was in heaven.

But she wasn't in heaven. She was here, on earth. My personal angel was here. It was a torment but at the same time it was soothing. It was agony and yet bliss. It was hell, but then again, it was heaven. I had spent so many nights alone in my room reliving that awful night, the night I had believed my Bella had died. To know that she was alive, my nonexistent heart surged with hope. I had a second chance.

She might refuse me, I was fully aware. But I didn't let myself linger on that for too long. If I did, I might not recover a second time, if I had ever recovered from the first. What mattered now is that I had the chance to talk to her again. I could make this right.

I had made a vow. Somehow I would make this right. If she didn't want me, then so be it. I would end my existence, family be damned. This time they would not stop me from going to the Volturi. If I had a second shot with Bella and again lost her, my mind and heart would not be able to handle it. But until I was absolutely sure and had exhausted all possibilities, I would try. No many how many times she ripped my dead heart to shred I would keep fighting. It would painful and agonizing gand I would no doubt question my mission, but I would not falter. And if she didn't want me after I had done every possible thing to make amends, I would at least stay until I knew she was happy. I would do anything in my power to make her smile. If I could see her smile and know she was truly content with life, I would die happily. I would end my life, yes, but only because I was unable to survive in a world without Bella again. She was my everything. She was my love, my life, and the very essence of what kept me going. I would die, but would do so knowing that she was happy.

I pretended to be interested in the lecture but occasionally I would steal glances to the indent in the desk beside me.

Bella I love you….

The rest of the classes went by in a blur. Jasper and Emmett were waiting for me outside my first one but I ignored them. Alice and Rosalie were in a few of the others but I blocked them out. All I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts.

In a way I welcomed lunch. Bella might not be there but at least I could get some insight into her family's thoughts.

Again I didn't bother with my props, instead sitting at my family's table focusing my thoughts on trying to eavesdrop.

The O'Shannons' thoughts were mostly what I expected, reliving last night's drama. Occasionally I caught a sympathetic or condemning thought, but for the most part they remained relatively quiet. They were all busy reliving the night before and worrying about what it would mean. The fact that they studiously ignored me did not escape my observations either.

And then I caught the thoughts of a young human girl. Hey there's Lucian. Where's Bella? If she's not here then it's now or never.

My thoughts focused on hers. I was intrigued. What was now or never? I watched as she led him out to the atrium, which surprised me. Normally humans didn't dare face the enclosed outdoor space with the winds and snow that left them gasping in shock. Apparently this was something she didn't want overheard and was willing to endure the biting cold for it.

Casually I stood up and made my way around the large room until a wall hid me from the main cafeteria room and all that separated me from the atrium was the bricks lining the hallway. I ignored the strange glances from people passing me in there. What did a few more glances matter? In a few years we would be a distant memory.

I heard Lucian's voice. "You wanted to talk to me?"

The small blonde girl's thoughts were hesitant, warring between saying never mind and reading him the riot act. The riot act part won in the end.

I listened to her speech, stunned at what I was hearing. I knew very well why Bella was so damn fragile. It was all my fault. I felt sad for the young girl and her mother, and I could sense Lucian's thoughts echoing my sympathy. I heard when she left, and was bitterly amused by his subconscious attraction to her.

And then his thoughts shifted to Bella again and I couldn't help but growl and then laugh out loud, which earned me more strange glances. He wanted to buy her a gift. This was proof enough he didn't know my Bella the way I did. Bella didn't want gifts; she loathed them. Had we not been competing for the same girl's heart I would have enlightened him. But we were and I could not afford to give him any sort of advantage.

The bell finally rang and I made my way back to the main room of the cafeteria. Lucian was ahead of me, still lost in his thoughts. Try as I might I couldn't help the daggers that shot from my eyes into his back. He wanted to give her a motorcycle helmet with the ridiculous words "bite me" on it. Obscene and tacky wasn't Bella's style. He was a fool if he thought the words "bite me" would be a reminder of happy times. From what I understood, she resented having ever been bitten. And the fact that he had been the one to bite her seemed like a sick irony. He had attacked her in the forest and now wanted to give her the words "bite me" to wear like some belated bulls eye? This man was either completely oblivious or had a very sick sense of humor

The rest of the day passed sluggishly. With vampire senses watching the clock was an even more excruciating experience than it would be for normal students. Now I could sense the time between each second and every second felt like an hour.

I was impatient because was once school was over I could at least watch Bella from a distance. In a way I felt foolish, having to revert to my actions from another lifetime, and this time the chances of being caught were increased a hundredfold as were the consequences. But still I couldn't help myself. I hadn't lied: Bella truly was my personal brand of heroine and after a taste even 70 years later I couldn't stay away.

When the final bell rang I walked as fast as "humanly" possible out of the school and made a mad dash to Bella's house. When I arrived there I positioned myself behind the same tree as before. Thinking better of it, I climbed up and sat on a branch in the tree, my height eyelevel with Bella's window. The window was still curiously broken and I couldn't sense any movement behind it, though still I strained to sense some.

I watched the rest of her family arrive home, still not noticing me. Really, they were quite unobservant for vampires.

I heard Macy shout out Bella's name and her thoughts were mildly curious as to where Bella was.

Lucian made his way to her room (their room, my mind reminded me with a shot of pain) and then his thoughts became distressed. I focused in on them and looked though his mind. What I found upset me as well.

My dear family, Bella had left in a note.

These last few days have been the most confusing of my existence. Being alone was what I truly needed but I found that I could not be in this house and escape my thoughts. I need to do some self-discovering, and that wont happen here. So I'm going back to Forks, where you found me. Please don't be angry. Know that I love you all and I don't intend to stay away forever. I just want a few days to go home and give myself to memories. I want to visit my old house and Charlie's gave. I want to remember who I am. Please try to understand. And please apologize to Abraham for me. I used his credit card to by my ticket.

I love you all. I will be home in a few days. I hope you aren't upset with me. I just feel I need to do this.

Your daughter, sister, and friend

Bella (originally Swan, now O'Shannon)

"Macy!" I heard Lucian shout. In her mind I saw her barreling through the door and reading the letter. From there I saw her glance to the computer. The itinerary was still pulled up. The flight left in an hour and a half.

Suddenly I made a decision. Without waiting to hear Bella's family's' reactions I launched myself from the tree in the direction of my family's house. I sprinted at full speed there, and I didn't pause to explain things to anyone when I arrived; I knew Alice would have seen my plan and would inform everyone. Not bothering to meet with anyone, I entered the garage through a side door and quickly started my car. Only when I was on the road did I realize that I hadn't packed any clothes. Damn.

I sped to the airport, bought my ticket and boarded the plane with minutes to spare. As I entered I searched for Bella. I saw her quickly, sitting in a coach seat (so like Bella. she would never use her father's credit card to buy a first class seat regardless if he can afford it). She was sitting in her seat with eyes closed, headphones securely fastened in her ears.

For a moment I couldn't move. She had a slight smile on her face and looked relaxed. She looked like an angel. Then she caught my scent and her eyes flew open. They fixed on me and hardened.

Now or never. I made my way to her but instead of addressing her I looked at the man sitting next to her.

"Excuse me sir but would you mind if we traded seats? I know this young woman here."

The man made a face. "I'm already settled in."

"I understand that sir, but I assure you I would make it worth your while." With that I slid a hundred dollar bill out of my wallet and the man's eyes lighted up.

"Sure," he said grabbing the money and standing up.

Bella was staring at me incredulously. "Wha..who…why…" she was spluttering in her anger. I merely settled into the newly vacant seat and waited, knowing I was about to be raked through the coals.

Finally she regained her equilibrium. "What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed angrily.

I shrugged, my face turning into a mask so as not to give away my anxiety at this very stalker-like behavior. "I heard you were making a visit to Forks. I've been meaning to visit myself so I figured I'd join you."

"Bullshit."

I merely shrugged.

"I wanted to go by myself."

Again I shrugged. I knew I was being horribly rude and very possibly arrogant, but I hadn't thought far enough ahead to come up with a decent excuse.

"And what do you mean you heard. My family wouldn't tell you! What did you do, spy on my house and listen to my family's thoughts?" I just looked at her and her face dawned with outraged disbelief.

"You did. You son of a…how could you….do you have any idea how creepy that is?"

I leaned forward. "Bella, I know I shouldn't be here right now. And when you need space in Forks, I will give it to you. But I just want a chance to be here with you."

She just glared.

I tried again. "Bella, you have every right to hate me, I don't deny that. But now that I know where you are, I'm not leaving."

"I don't want you here."

"I know."

"You know the only reason I am not ripping your arms off right now and beating the hell out of you is because of how strange that would seem to everyone here. We might be riding on this plane together but I assure you, I will need my space the entire damn time I'm there. And you can be sure as hell I won't be telling you when I'm leaving."

She glared at me for a few more seconds then with a sigh she turned away. She plugged her ear buds in again and searched for a particular band on her music player. Strains of "Dancing Queen" reverberated from her headset. I hated Abba and silently cursed the day I had told Bella that. (A/N: That's not my idea. I stole that from my favorite author, Oxymoronic8, you really need to check her out. Best writer I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing.) I knew this was a subtle way to irritate me but I took it.

I continued to stare at her; aware that she knew I was doing it. I didn't care. Every chance I had to look upon her was ecstasy. I studied her. Her face was subtly different, as I had noticed before. Her cheeks were sharper, her lashes were fuller, and her limbs were just a little more defined. But she was still my Bella, my heart, my only love.

She hated me. I understood that and as much as it pained me, I accepted it. I deserved nothing less. But I would do everything I could to make things right again. I loved her more than life itself. As perverse as she would think it sounded, she deserved my efforts of persual

The captain's voice came over the speakers and a few seconds later the plane began to move. Bella remained stoic, ignoring the spiel about turning off electronic devices. The plane lifted into the air. For a second I removed my gaze from Bella's face to settle back into my chair.

No matter what happened, we were on our way.

a/n: ok so this is the new chapter revamped (pun intended)

and I have an announcement. I'm going to go through all the early chapters and fix all the grammar crap that I've done wrong. So if you wanna see it, just reread them in the next few days.

I had majors writers block but I think I've broken it I have at least 4 dramatic twists and turns that will extend this story to (hopefully) at least 30 chapters. Im brimming with ideas. I just hope I remember them all. If you want to know my brainstorms, email me. I promise, some of them are downright crazy and angsty

Anywho, let me know what you guys think. Don't be too harsh though ;)

mwah