The sun hits my eyes brightly, and at first I'm disoriented and confused, but then I remember. Today's the day! I'm getting married today! I roll out of bed and hop right into the shower. Clarke may not feel for me the way I feel for her, but we're still getting married and I just can't wait to see her in that beautiful dress.

Several hours later after I've double checked the booking for our honeymoon and plane tickets, gotten dressed, and checked on the status of the caterer, I arrive at the church with the rest of the groomsmen.

I know I still have a little while before the ceremony begins, so I bide my time thinking of what I'll say to Clarke when I get her alone. In order to make everything work between us, I know I will ultimately have to stifle my feelings. To what degree, I don't know.

I'm unsure of how uncomfortable she is with the idea of us, and if her feelings will ever change. Sometimes when someone doesn't like another person, it's because the timing is wrong. Sometimes it's due to personal issues. But other times, it's just because that person isn't the one for them; they just don't connect.

What if Clarke and I just aren't meant to be? What if we don't really fit each other, but I just think we do? Am I pursuing something that's irrelevant and pointless?

Apparently my worry is present on my face, because Miller sits down beside me and says, "Don't worry, Blake, you aren't making a mistake. I know you two love each other very much, and you are meant to be together. It's just nerves." He pats me on the shoulder and gives me a reassuring smile. I return it, but only halfheartedly, because it's hard to feel reassured when the person doesn't know what you problem actually is.

But before I know it, my doubts are drowned in thoughts of Clarke and the wedding and just how excited I am. I am ready for this.

"And do you, Bellamy Blake, take Clarke Griffin to be your lawfully wedded wife?" I look deeply into Clarke's eyes and smile brightly. Our relationship isn't ideal, I'm not sure how she feels about me, I'm not sure how this will work, or what tomorrow will bring, but I know one thing: I love her. All the other stuff, that's just minor details. She's what matters.

"I do." Clarke's eyes meet mine, and I sense something in them, something beyond the pretense that I'm not quite sure of. She smiles, which only causes me to widen mine even more.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The officiator announces and Clarke and I close the distance between us. Our lips meet passionately as I take her face in my hands.

The reception goes exactly how I thought it would. Everyone was dancing and happy, drinking a little, and just having a good time. Clarke and I have to kiss many times, not that I'm complaining, and we dance together too.

I watch as she laughs hysterically at Jasper and Monty trying to teach her a new dance they made up. She attempts to emulate the moves, failing miserably and cracking up at it. She is legitimately enjoying herself, it's not hard to tell. I smile. It's good to see she's having fun.

As the reception comes to a close and guests trickle out, Clarke and I get ready to leave for our honey moon. A few of the wedding party volunteered to help clean things up so we could get a head start to the ski resort in Verbier. After all, travelling to Switzerland will take a little while.

"Are you ready to head out, Clarke?" I move to rest my hand on her arm, but pull back, unsure of how to approach her. "Yes!" She says excitedly. I still haven't told her where we are going, I'm looking forward to her reaction when she realizes we are going to one of her dream vacation spots. It is just a week we will have there, but even still, it will be worth it.

We find our seats on the plane with relative ease, and adjust ourselves as we wait to take off. "So Bellamy, the ticket and the announcements say we're going to Switzerland?" I nod, grinning. "That's correct, I wonder where on earth we could be going to in Switzerland." I say mischievously. I watch as the gears turn in her head, and then it dawns on her. "Bellamy, you didn't!" She squeals and hugs me sideways from her seat. "I can't believe you are taking me to Verbier!"

I can't help the grin on my face. "I remembered when you said that you always wanted to go skiing there, so I knew it was the perfect honeymoon spot." A shy smile paints her face. "Bellamy, that was so thoughtful."

I consider for a moment of how to respond. Do I play with the charade, or speak from the heart? I lean in closer so no one can overhear. "Clarke, I just want you to be happy. I hope that it can be with me, but if it's not..."

She purses her lips, and leans in too. "Bellamy, you do make me happy. I'm - I -" She pauses, flustered. "I don't know how to express what I feel for you. Especially with the threat of someone overhearing at any moment." She pauses and collects her thoughts. "Just know I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

I feel my heart lift at her words. Perhaps - I shake off any overly optimistic thoughts. I can't assume that everything will work out perfectly between us. I need to give her time.

By the time we get off the plane and take a cab to the resort, both Clarke and I are feeling pretty groggy and jet lagged. We did sleep some on the 12 hour flight, but that doesn't stop the pure exhausted feeling. It's about 10 in the morning when we arrive, and we decide we feel like just heading to our room and relaxing for a while.

"Hey Bellamy, can we order room service? I'm starving and sick of plane food." Clarke calls from the bathroom where she is changing from her travel clothes.
"What are you in the mood for?" I ask as I pull out the menu. "Meat or something like that."

I flip through casually and locate the entrees. "How about steak?"

"Oooo steak! That sounds perfect." She walks out a few moments later a pair of navy leggings and a long white sweater. I open my mouth to compliment her, but close it moments later, still unsure of how she feels about me expressing affection.

She scrunches her face. "See, Bellamy, you don't have to do that." I raise my eyes innocently. "Do what?"

She rolls her eyes. "Go to say something about me then stop because you're afraid of how I'll react."

"Look, I just don't want to make you uncomfortable." She smiles softly. "You aren't." I open and close my mouth again, this time because I'm unsure of what to say.

"Let me order us food, okay? Then maybe we can talk about this." I say finally.

Minutes after our food has been ordered, Clarke and I sit across each other on the bed, sipping vodka and cranberry juice from the minibar.

"I'm sorry I ran away when you confessed your feelings." Clarke says eventually, her head down, eyes not meeting me. "It's okay." I reply with a sigh. "You just fucking scared me. I didn't know what you were thinking or if you were going to just leave, or where you were going to go. You didn't have a car, and I was worried something could have happened to you."

She smiles briefly. "Sorry. I should have thought that through a little more." I laugh a little. "Yeah."

She sobers up for a moment. "It's just, I'm not good with feelings or knowing how to deal with people." She runs her hands through her hair and sighs. "You know about my dad, and then the situation with Finn. After that it became really hard to trust people. It just felt like anyone who would love me would leave me. Hell, my ex Lexa broke up with me because she said I couldn't commit to anything serious." She laughs forcefully. "You can imagine her surprise when she found out I was getting married."

I nod sincerely. I can't imagine what to even say to her as advice. You can't change what someone feels because of there experiences with just a few words. Clarke looks up at me, her blue eyes shiny with tears. "And then you came along Bellamy. You were someone who at first I didn't have feelings for, but I knew I would be with for a long time because of our arrangement. I'd be lying if I said I didn't find myself attracted to you," she giggles. "I mean, look at you." I blush a little at that. "And I think I feel something for you, but the fact that in a sense I'm tied to you really scares me." She sighs. "I'm working on it, I am, but it's still a little weird to think that even if I do like you, it's not going to move slowly, we're already married, there's no real backing out." She huffs. "It just seems like everything is so backwards."

I laugh. "Clarke, I completely understand. I get why this is so weird for you, I mean, it's weird for me too." I grab her hands. "But I want to try to make this work, or at least see where it goes." She nods. An idea hits me.

"Why don't we start over?" I ask excitedly. "What do you mean?" Her eyebrow crinkles.

"Why don't we pretend that this is the beginning of our relationship, let's forget that we're married for now, and start at the beginning of a relationship."
"What about what everyone else will think?" She asks. I shrug. "They can think whatever they want. I think it'll just look like we're falling in love all over again."

She smiles tentatively. "I think I'd like that." At her approval, I stand up, and face her with sincerity. "Clarke Grffin, will you go on a date with me?" I'm sure my face is painted with a huge, cheesy grin. This is more than I could have asked for.

She dissolves into a fit of giggles. "I'm pretty sure my name is Clarke Griffin-Blake now." I'm amidst an eye roll when there is a knock on the door. "Room service!" A voice calls out.

"I'll get it." I make a move toward the door. "Wait!" Clarke bounces up off the bed and quickly unbuttons my shirt, then runs her hands quickly through my hair, fluffing it considerably. "We're a married couple on our honeymoon, remember?" She says slyly. I grin and walk to the door.

"Two steaks, one medium-well and the other medium-rare, fettuccine, a bottle of champagne, and two cheesecakes." The waitress lists off the items, looking down. My grin still on my face, I nod. "That's right." She looks up at me, takes in my disheveled appearance, and blushes slightly. "Do you want me to charge it to your room, or...?"

"Yes please." I say quickly as I pull the cart into the room. "Thank you." I pat her on the shoulder as I hand her a twenty. "Uh, yes. No problem. Enjoy your honeymoon."

I shut the door behind me, and see Clare's already digging into the food ravenously. When she notices me giving her a look, she shrugs with a smile. "I was hungry."

I laugh. "Yeah, looks like it." I point to her already half-eaten steak. She hasn't even bothered to use silverware, she's just biting it like a carnivore. "You know the way you're eating, it seems like we are working up an appetite having sex."

She rolls her eyes at me, but I can see the slight rosiness in her cheeks. "Shut up."

The next few days are fairly uneventful, besides having our first date, we hit the slopes while it's light out, then retire to our room and watch TV or read or just hang out. I relish in the fact that we even sleep in the same bed, sometimes even curled up together.

At times Clarke seems a little perturbed by something, like she doesn't quite know what to say about it, but I brush it off as her hesitation to be in a relationship.

Mostly, we just spend time together, and I can feel her opening up to the idea of us even more.

"Well, unfortunately, it doesn't look like we're going outside today." I say as I look out the window and double check on my phone. "Looks like a blizzard is going to hit fairly shortly."

Clarke jumps up from her spot on the couch and comes over to the window beside me. "Really?" She frowns. "This is our last day here and I wanted to get another day of skiing in."

I sigh, turning to face her. "Sadly, it looks like we'll have to make other plans." She sighs and flops down on the bed. "Uggghhhh." I hold in a laugh as I sit beside her.

"Well, do you at least want me to order breakfast?" I ask. She nods vigorously from her spot face down on the sheets. "Please, Bell." "Alright." I grab the phone and dial room service. Holding the phone to my chest, I ask her, "Pancakes?" "With chocolate chips please."

As we dig into our food, Clarke starts moaning. "Oh my god." She says between bites. "This is just so good." I breathe slowly, trying to control myself. A bit of syrup runs off the pancake and onto her finger, which she sticks in her mouth and sucks off. When she finally removes it from her mouth, it comes out with a 'pop.' Before I can think better of it, I'm moving closer to her and kissing her.

She doesn't respond back, so I immediately pull back. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that." I don't look up to see her reaction. She's still for a moment, then her hands grab my face as she pulls me back in. "Don't be."

And then I'm being enveloped in her. I taste the sweetness of the syrup and chocolate.

She leads me up and presses me against the wall, and then I can feel every inch of her pressed up against me. I pull away for a second, breathing heavy. "Clarke," My voice has gotten about two octaves deeper. "We don't have to do anything, but if we keep going like this..." She smiles seductively. "I know."

She sheds her shirt, leaving her in a bra and jeans. "I want this." She runs her fingers painfully slowly over the bulge in my jeans. "And it seems like you want this too." I shiver and mutter out a choked confirmation.

She kneels, unzipping my pants. "Bellamy, you've spent so much time making sure I'm happy, now I want to make you happy."

A half hour later, after I've returned the favor and watched Clarke come undone under my tongue, we lay in bed, mostly naked. Clarke's breathing is still evening out, and I watch her chest rise and fall. "You good?" I ask. We never talked about physical boundaries in our relationship, and I want to be sure I didn't cross any.

She looks over at me and grins wolfishly. "Very." She pushes her hair out of her face as she closes her eyes.

"That was...very good." She turns toward me, her eyes still half shut. "Will you hold me? I want to take a quick nap." I oblige and wrap my arms around her, and shortly sleep finds me too.

AN:

I hope you enjoyed this, because it's the calm before the storm. Don't forget about the mysterious figure who was in Clarke's bed the night before the wedding. (And I just meant "them" as in the gender neutral singular term like him or her, not more than one person.)

Also apologies if you wanted more graphic oral content, I just didn't really want to write it, idk. But there may or may not be more of that in the future and maybe I'll write more descriptively then :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing, you all are angels, thank you for your enthusiasm :)

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