AN: I'm so sorry for the wait, but I was rather sick for weeks and after that the internet let me down. But in change for that, Chapter 14 is the longest until now. I hope you like it and give me some more nice reviews :) Please review!

As everytime I want to thank the LonePalm for her unbelieveable amout of patience.

Disclaimer: Sons of Anarchy and all characters in this fic – except for Adam Learner, the nurse James and some unnamed supernumerary – belong to Kurt Sutter and the FX Network.

Did I forget it on the bed … no … it wasn't there when I left the room. Has to be in the bag … but where in the hell is it? Could it be in the car? Damn it Jax. You've made me hurry so much, I can't remember.

»Was there something else in the cargo area of the car besides the bag and the blanket?« Tara asked Chibs under the loud noise of the trucks motor, rummaging around in the EMT-bag.

»What?« the Scot frowned, still counting the seconds to the next breath for a man that meant so much to him that he was like his own son.

»Sorry, got it« Tara murmured, as she wrangled the blood pressure cuff from the bottom of the bag and slid it over Jax's arm. BP might be down as well, but that problem has been negligible – 'til now. The cuff inflated itself automatically. She waited for it to deliver the values. It took too long, like it always did when they were low. 74 over 40. No wonder she could barely feel Jax's pulse. Doboutamine would raise the pressure, but in face of the third drip she had to set, the 18 gauge cannula in his wrist seemed to be totally overstrained. Before Tara wasted another thought on how to get the third drug on a decent flow rate over the peripheral access into his body she got out a second Y-set. A central line would be the better choice, she thought while she punctured the cephalic vein on Jax's other wrist that fortunately hadn't collapsed yet, but the violent ups and downs of their race through the desert would make every attempt to install one for naught.

Chibs watched Tara with concern. He was worried about Jax, too. No, scared to death actually, but that was something he never would admit. He had learned to conceal his feelings for the greater good. Battlefields were no place for emotions; there everyone was scared, but wars could not be won with fear, only with the strength to do the right thing. But the doc was no soldier. She might spend her days fighting battles for patients she barely knew, but not for the people she knew and loved. As long as she found something to do, she could bear what was happening to Jax, but when the adrenaline high fades and she is forced to wait, they would see that woman falter. In his thoughts Chibs turned to Jax. He had seen that kid bleed. Many times. Killed in action - that was the only way to go for a battlesome soul like his. But this?

The others still didn't know what was wrong with their VP. Chibs didn't know the details, but he knew enough to guess. He had told them that Jax had been hurt. But the kid didn't bleed this time and certainly that episode a day ago had been no coincidence.

Gemma, Thomas, Abel – their flaw had been obvious. What strange mood was God in that He had made this line of weak hearts in strong people? What was the lesson they had to learn? And why the hell did he wait so long to finally turn to Jax? Chibs knew, this would be a ordeal for all of them. But at that moment Chibs could not even fathom the extent of it.

•••••••••

Tara held the IV-bags high over Jax's head. They were getting heavier with every second, as did the burden she was feeling since the moment in the yard of Teller-Morrow and the expression on the old biker's face as he listened to Opie on his cell. She had reached her limits long ago, medically and emotionally. She felt something slowly dying inside of her. Her fingers went numb. Her lips too. She looked down on that oppressed body that held the man she loved hostage. An alien with blue skin, sliver shimmering scars and tubes and wires coming out of it. When did he stop looking like Jax? When did he slip out of her reach? When did he forget about his two sons? That wasn't the plan. They were supposed to be a whole family and not this portrait behind broken glass.

In the distance the wrecked silhouette of Milton appeared from dust and heat. Even flickering and blurred it caused a weak trace of hope in Tara. Not ling now, Baby. You just have to hang on and everything will be okay, she sent her thoughts to Jax, but he remained silent even in that unknown space between them, where they had always been able to communicate.

They were a few hundreds yards away and Tara could already spot the ambulance through the truck's windows, parked by the roadside on the outskirts the settlement were she had hastily directed the driver to wait for them. Two men were watching and waiting for their arrival and Tara sighed in relief. She laid her hand on Jax's shoulder and rubbed it with her thumb. Also Chibs, who had laid his left arm around Jax's head and chin to fixate it, turned around to see them. Tara nodded but snapped suddenly around. An alert caught her attention with the sound of a dull bell. The ventricular tachycardia was back. In fusillades it took turns with the sinus tachycardia Jax had been in since the cardioversion just minutes ago.

»Fuck«, Tara expelled and raised the flow rate of the amiodarone. It hadn't had that much time to take effect, but Jax shouldn't be back in the arrhythmia that quickly.

They reached the ambulance, stopped and the crowd of bikers stopped in a cloud of ocher dust just a few yards behind the truck. The men who had waited by the ambulance approached the truck. Tara recognized one of them at once.

»Adam!«

»After your call I couldn't stay at St. Thomas« he explained and jumped onto the truck. »What do we have?«

»Pulmonary flash edema with respiratory arrest and a monomorphic ventricular tachycardia. Hypotension by 80 over 40 and rising. Stable sinus rhythm after cardioversion until ten seconds ago. Now fusillades despite amiodarone via IV with 150 mg over 10 minutes, I raised it to 170 mg. o2 saturation is 85%. The hypoxia persisted for at least an hour and he shows signs of severe acute cyanosis.«

While Tara reported Jax's condition to Adam, the alerts went off again. He nodded and gave Chibs who was still ventilating Jax a glance.

»Who is this?«

»Telford. CMT, Royal Army Medical Corps« Chibs answered roughly. No need to mention that he was thrown out after 5 months of service as a Combat Medical Technician. The doc seemed satisfied with his answer. The second man, an EMT pulled a gurney over to the truck and they shifted Jax onto it. The EMT took the ambu-bag out of Chibs' hand. It felt strange to let go. Tara jumped from the back of the truck and followed them inside of the ambulance.

•••••••••

»Tell me!« Jax barked at his late father.

»It's always the same.«

»What do you mean?«

»You still don't remember all of it, do you?«

»Of what?«

»Being stuck HERE! We already had this conversation not so long ago. You were asking me the same questions, but this time I won't answer.«

»Why?«

»Because you refused to learn what I tried to teach you.«

»You … you're nothing more than a figment if my imagination.«

»So, you think, because of that I am less real?«

»I don't know. Is this real?«

»You know the truth.«

»I had a chance and I made it back!«

»Barely … Son, you just changed rooms and they are all connected through a door that is shrinking with every second. Do you remember the last time you tried to push yourself through that door?«

»No.«

»You do.«

»I don't.«

»I warned you that … «

»It's gonna be painful« Jax nodded when the memories came back. »You offered to let me stay.«

»And you said, you couldn't.«

»My kids.«

»You know, if you stay with me, all the pain will be gone - the physical and the emotional.«

»And I still can't. Dad...they won't even remember me. Thomas and Abel. I wanted something more for them. I just wanted to earn enough to give them a future. A fucking college fund so they could be like their mother … and not like me.«

John Teller raised his eyebrows in astonishment. »Looks like you learned something after all.«

»What?« Jax shrugged.

»That sons don't have to follow in their father's footsteps.«

»Like I did?«

»Not all the time. I stayed here, you know. You already decided one time to go back through that door. For them. Your family. No matter what it would cost or how it would feel. But this time it's gonna be harder, son.«

»Let's give it a try« Jax nodded and turned to the fading light that pulsated an unknown distance away and walked towards it.

•••••••••

Connected to a mechanical ventiatlor, highly oxygenated air was pressed into Jax's struggling lungs. Tara remained at his head watching the monitor with her hands on his face and buried in his short hair.

»o2 saturation is rising« she informed Adam who was searching for the lost femoral pulse. »90% by 100% oxygen content.«

»Better than nothing« he replied and gave Tara a small flashlight. She took it and pulled Jax's eyelids back, checking his pupillary reflex. They reacted, slowly but equally. Tara pressed her lips together and let his lids go, but in the moment they were supposed to close they remained open and Jax suddenly focused on Tara.

»Oh my God« Tara exclaimed. »He's coming around.«

Adam turned and bent over Jax, whose eyes grew more and more wide in distress.

»Jackson?« Adam addressed him. »Don't fight the tube. It helps you breathe. I'll get you something to ease that.«

»Baby, hey, Jax, I'm here« Tara stroked his head and placed a kiss on his cheek. »It's gonna be okay. Do you hear me?«

Jax's eyes fixed on her and blinked quickly. It broke her heart and she whispered almost soundlessly »I love you.«

A single tear slipped from Jax's eye and rolled down his temple before Tara could catch it. A second later the alerts went off again. A fusillade but it didn't stop after a few seconds. It changed in a shrill noise that caused Tara's blood to run cold.

»V-fib!« Adam called out. »I got no pulse!«

Tara automatically got up and stepped back, while the EMT the defibrillator charged.

»200 Joule?« he asked and Adam nodded. »Clear!«

The second electric pulse of this day ran through Jax's body, but this time his heart didn't respond as it was supposed to.

»Still v-fib« Adam breathed and started chest compressions. All this was too much for Tara. She sank against the divider to the driver's cab and held her breath. With Jax literally dying right in front of her eyes, her brain refused to process any further information. It was just that picture and the horror, that she was feeling, that burned itself into her memory. She heard Adam calling for lidocaine and a higher charge. She saw Jax's body cramping from the next shock and Adam searching for a pulse.

»Got it! Tara? Tara!« he tried to talk to her, but her vision was blurred from tears. »He's back. Come on, take a breath.«

She looked up to him vacantly.

»Tara?« he repeated and in conclusion slapped her in the face. Indignantly Tara gasped and jumped on her feet.

»What the … « she barked at him, but stopped. She knew why he had slapped her.

»You were holding your breath. I didn't plan on resuscitating both of you« he smiled at her. »He made it. Sinus rhythm. Fast but steady.«

»You sure?« she asked and gave that motionless body on the gurney a glance.

»Absolutely« Adam nodded and grabbed her by her shoulders. »I want you to leave and let us do our work. I want to get him in the ICU as soon as possible. Go, find someone who can drive you and we will meet at St. Thomas.«

»No … no I wanna come with you« Tara insisted but was gently pushed out of the ambulance.

»No way. I can't care for you too and you will be no use to him in your condition. You have done all you could and you did it well. Let me take care of him. Okay?«

»I … I … « she stuttered. Finally she nodded because she knew she was of no use to Jax anymore.

••••••••••

Tara saw the ambulance depart and she wondered if that would be the last time she saw Jax alive. Slowly she walked back facing the members of SAMCRO. The shock and the disbelief was written all over their faces. Nobody said a word. Just the wind sang its song, as if nothing had happened there.

»Tig, take Juice and Phil and clean up that mess. Someone should call Charlie Horse. And for the rest of you: We are gonna meet at St. Thomas« Clay quietly demanded because it was obvious that Tara wasn't in the condition to clear anything up. He nodded to Chibs, who was already walking towards Tara in order to lead her to Opie's truck. The young woman was shaking when he touched her arm gently. Her breakdown had been inevitable and he knew, that it was gonna be a long ride for all of them.

••••••••••

She never thought that she would find herself in a situation like this. At least not yet. Jax had always been someone, who walked a thin line between good and bad. Careful and reckless. Life and death. The latter had always been a question of decisions, calculating the risk and being clever. Jax wasn't that educated, but like he said, the only thing he ever had been good at was outlaw. His decisions had always prevented the worst. Not, that the outcome suited Tara most of the time. But Jax had been whole, kept them together, loved his sons and her without hesitation and set up this small silver lining at the horizon with a promise of a normal life. This promise, she was absolutely sure, was born from love. Not the love that let them stick together since they had been 16, but the love for Abel and Thomas. The day his first son was born, had changed something in Jax Teller. She was a little jealous about that, but watching Jax with his sons brought such deep happiness in her, that was brighter than anything else. And now she felt that happiness dying – fading so fast that she even hadn't had the time to store it in her memory. So fast. Two days before they had been a happy family. Sitting together in their common bed, planning for a future, surrounded by the bright sunlight. What the hell had happened? When did they take a wrong turn? She had begged him not to leave the hospital because she didn't want to be kept in this all consuming devastation she was feeling right now.

Tara heard herself screaming inside of her head, while the landscape passed her eyes in an unfamiliar blur. Couldn't be much father now. She should check with Neeta. When the message about Jax's condition reaches Gemma, she would barely be able to watch the kids. Gemma, it was another bitter thought Tara could not cope with – not yet.

She looked to the man next to her. Bloody hell, it had been Opie, who had pushed the truck through the desert. Now he sat in the middle of the bench looking like she was feeling - guilty, dead, lost. She opened her mouth in order to say something, but nothing came out and Tara let her head sink, too tired to push herself to do the right thing.

•••••••••

They arrived shortly after the ambulance. No idea where they had caught up with it. As soon as Chibs had slowed the car down, Tara jumped out of it and ran towards the huge vehicle. A crowd of medical personal from the emergency department swirled around too and blocked Tara's sight. Doors were pushed open and she spotted something that looked like Adam kneeling on Jax's gurney performing chest compressions.

No. Not again she thought to herself or had she shouted it out loud – she didn't care. No one noticed her at all as she caught scraps of Adam's labored report to the physician in charge. V-fib. What the fuck? Again, again … does this nightmare ever end she heard her own voice screaming as she finally and totally lost her grip on reality.

•••••••••

Tara found herself on a blue plastic chair in one of the waiting areas. How much time had passed? Not a lot, she noted after a short look at her watch. Just minutes. Someone held her a plastic cup with coffee in it under her nose. I didn't even smelled like coffee. She took it and looked up. It was Clay, who was standing in front of her. Pain written all over his face.

»What happened?« he asked silently and sat down in the chair next to her. She didn't have an answer, she was still asking herself the exact same question.

»I don't know« she whispered and a tear ran down her cheek.

»It's all my fault« Opie admitted.

»How?« Clay shrugged but a shadow arriving prevented Opie from answering. Tara turned around.

»Adam?« she asked the worn out looking doctor.

»He is in the ICU« his words provided her a little bit of relief. »If you wanna see him, we should go now.«

The urgency in his voice put her relief into perspective. People were dying in the ICU every day. She knew that and he did too.

•••••••••

The two walked down the long corridor. Clay had stayed behind because he wanted to wait for Gemma, who was on her way to the hospital.

»Tell me« she demanded and Adam nodded.

»He crashed two more times. V-fib one time shortly before we arrived in Charming and the second time here in the driveway. They shocked him in the ER four times to get him back … I don't know the extent of the damage caused by the hypoxia yet, but … «

»But I do« Tara nodded. She knew that Adam just wanted to be kind to her, but the reality was hard and brutal.

»He is a fighter« he tried to convince her. They approached the ICU. »Unit 202. Complete blood count is in works.«

»Okay« Tara nodded vacantly, searching for Jax's unit, and finally finding it. The nurses were still busy settling him. Twitching tubes and wires. The crash cart stood next to his bed. It felt like something had her own heart in a vice grip. She laid her hand on Adam's arm holding him back, when he made an attempt to go with her into the room.

»Give me a minute« she begged and he nodded. She passed the nurses on their way out and got to Jax's bedside. Tears were blurring her sight. That whole damn day was drowning in the salty sea, growing with every drop. Jax looked so weak. She just wanted to rip off all this stuff and get him out of the bed, away from this path of self-destruction his body was heading down, but she was completely unable.
Deal with it, a surprisingly strong voice in her yelled. Don't let go, it added. Tara nodded and felt this strange comfort that came out of nowhere. She sighed.

»I know you're in there Jax« she began, grabbing his limp hand. It was ice cold. »I won't leave, do you hear me? … I … I didn't see that coming – or I just didn't want to see it. But what … what the hell was I supposed to do? Tell me … I should have strapped you down on that damn bed … I … but I couldn't. I love you Jax, I really do, but I am angry with you for this. So much. Maybe I hate you for it; but only for that, because I never could imagine that I could hate you for anything else. But there are two little boys, waiting for their father to come home, and all I will bring are empty hands and an explanation they will not understand … you … you made me lie and then you left me alone, so don't you dare to die! There is no other way, no escape. Jackson Teller, you will come back to me … and I will wait here for you … right here, because I'm not gonna carry the can for you.«

She nodded as if Jax could see her, wiped away the tears and left the unit. She found Opie outside of the unit, he was leaning his head against the cold glass.

»I was hoping you were wrong … but when I finally got what you were trying to tell me, it was too late« he said looking through the window, watching his best friend.

»What? You couldn't prevent that. Me neither. I didn't know how sick he really was until this morning. It could have happened anywhere and anytime.«

»But I knew enough to keep him away from … «

»The desert?«

Opie nodded. Dark shadows were crossing his mind and his thoughts and no one could take away that awful feeling, that he was responsible. Tara watched him in concern. She couldn't help either. Then she spotted his hand.

»Oh my God, your hand!« she expelled and pointed to the heavy burning wound on the back of Opie's hand. »Where did you get this from?«

Opie followed her eyes and raised his hand. The pain was just a dull echo, even though it looked disgusting. »Tried to open the storage room door« he murmured silently.

»We should get that cleaned up before it gets infected« Tara suggested, somewhat happy to have finally found something to do.

»I can't … can't leave« Opie shook his head.

»Me either.«

••••••••••

Clay had reached Gemma in the office at Teller-Morrow. She was sure, that he had lied to her as he had told her about Jax. Call it maternal instinct or whatever you want, she thought, but there was something wrong with her boy, that nobody wanted to say out loud. It was his heart, she was certain of it and it took her breath. If she weren't taking her own meds, she might join her son and collapse right there, but they were keeping her upright. Meds and the fourth smoke since she had left the garage.

The hallway seemed endless, the people around her had no faces and the sounds they made were nothing more than the messed up humming of a swarm of birds. Nothing made sense except for the man standing in the crowd and reaching for her. Gemma wrapped her arms around her husband's chest and felt his stiff hands on her back.

»Tell me« she breathed.

»We don't know anything yet Babe. He's in the ICU. Looked … bad« his dark voice responded and she raised her head.

»And where is SHE?«

»With him.«

••••••••••

A nurse, a small, friendly Asian with a slight squint, led the couple to the unit 202. Gemma clenched Clay's arm in order to stay on her feet when she spotted her son. To see him like this pushed her back into well stored memories. Memories of the loss she had experienced. Memories of lives torn apart and rough times when she had to decide between faltering or stepping up. She pressed her lips together 'til they got numb. The handsome looking yuppie doc she met shortly the day before headed for them, before they could go in.

»Mrs. Teller?« he asked, carrying a chart with a stack of crumpled papers clipped on it.

»That's me. What happened to my son?«

»Either the scarring or the defect of Jackson's heart, maybe both together, caused an arrhythmia and a pulmonary edema. The severe and long hypoxia resulting from that damaged his inner organs and his heart as well. He is stable for the moment, but critical.«

Clay watched his wife's lips trembling, like they always did when news pushed her over the edge of the bearable. Her grip grew stronger.

»Critical means?« Clay inquired, while Gemma tried to process the message and the pitiable sight her son was.

»We don't know if he will make it through the night« the doctor shook his head and that moment even Clay felt the solid ground under his feet vanish.

»How could you let that happen?« Gemma spat and Learner raised his hand in defense.

»He left AMA. I did everything I could to convince him to stay. Clearly, if he would have had the arrhythmia here the prognosis would be completely different.«

»AMA?« the woman echoed.

»Yeah, didn't he tell you?«

»Nothing« Gemma hissed. »They told me NOTHING … why … why shouldn't he pull through?«

»He has crashed several times but so far we have always been able to get him back, but it's getting more and more difficult each time. I … «

But before he could continue he saw Tara approaching them with a huge man in tow that he had seen sitting in the waiting room. Gemma Teller caught his glance and turned around.

Tara noticed the rage building up in the matriarch's face, her whole body was trembling and her eyes were little more than slits. Gemma knew the truth and Tara saw the slap in her face coming but Clay stopped his wife shortly before it happened. Gemma looked to him him in confusion and Clay stepped up to Tara.

He hugged her tightly and whispered »You lied doc. You lied to all of us and right now my wife wants to kill you here in the hallway and I am tempted to let her do it, but Jax wouldn't want that.«

Tara's blood curdled as she heard the calm, deep voice delivering it's devastating message. As if this day couldn't get worse. Two years before, she might would have faltered, felt the fear, gave in. But those times were over. She had spent too much time with those people to dance to their tune. She straightened herself and took a breath.

»I protected the man I love« she whispered in response with no less sharper tone as Clay himself had used. »I did all I could to keep him safe. YOU made this truth for him untellable, YOU dragged him to the clubhouse, YOU sent him to the desert, remember? You call yourself his father, but what kind of father are you, when your kid felt that he couldn't turn to you? I didn't lie. I just held back part of the truth, for Jax. Don't think I am suffering any less. We all are being put through hell today but we have the really bad times just ahead. So mind your words. No threat on earth will bring him back. It will just destroy the remains of our sons' family.«

Tara stepped back. The old biker looked someway surprised but nodded gently. Then he took Gemma by the arm and led her into the unit to her son's bedside. Tara, Adam and Opie were looking at each other in silence as they heard Gemma's desperated sobs echo from the unit.

••••••••••

An eternity passed while Tara was just standing outside of Jax's IC-unit watching the man she loved fight for his life. Opie had vanished. She had no idea where a man went, who felt that kind of guilt on his shoulders. When she had dressed his wounds, she had tried to convince him that it wasn't his responsibility, that she hadn't given him some kind of code. But at that point she wasn't certain. A part deep in her wanted to hate the world, blame Clay, Gemma and Opie for failing, but hate had no place in her heart that was already overflowing with fear and grief.

So she remained standing there like she had promised to Jax, but not at his bedside or in the seat next to him because that spot was already taken by the queen, who was watching her son with wet eyes. Maybe she would fall asleep, but the alerts that went off every five or less minutes would prevent her from falling into deep sleep. Tara noticed someone approaching her from the side. It was Adam.

»He's hanging on« Tara whispered.

»Yeah … he is fighting. But Tara, I got his latest lab work.«

»And?«

»Liver and kidney values are gravely elevated. I fear they are shutting down.«

»This can't be the end« Tara sobbed and felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

»We will do all we can to get him through this.«

»But raising false hope is not your department« she nodded tired.

»Maybe you should go home. Eat something, get a nap. You can't do much here anyway.«

»I can't leave him here alone.«

»He isn't alone, you know that. And I will call you if anything changes.«

»Or you will call me when Jax dies. Don't forget, that I know how fast that could happen.«

»Do you think, he would dare die with THAT woman at his bedside?« Adam asked Tara with a slight smile in his voice. Tara let a suffocated chuckle escape. Hell no he wouldn't. But she couldn't leave. Not now.

»He was so happy, to have his father home. They were already separated for too long.«

»Abel?«

»Yeah. You should've seen them together« she remembered and faced Adam. »I can't go home without him. How should I tell a two year old that his father is fighting for his life and that he may not come back? I can't even understand it myself.«

»But he needs his mom too« Adam nodded. A thought grew in his mind. »Bring him.«

»Into the ICU?« Tara frowned disbelieving.

»Alright« Adam sighed. »sneak him in. You can show him where his father sleeps and tell him, that he is gonna stay for a while.«

»I don't know« Tara shook her head, but maybe Adam was right.

•••••••••

Neeta stayed behind at Tara's office with a sleeping Thomas and Tara took Abel by the hand letting him jump up and down happily singing a mumbled and almost unrecognizable version of "itsy bitsy spider" on their way to the ICU.

»Izzy bissy pider craad up the wader pout … «

Jax had started to sing it with him after breakfast, even when he hadn't been able remember the words. As heartwarming as it had been this morning, the memory now burned painfully on Tara's skin.

» … down came the rain an wash the spider out … «

»Hey darling« Tara addressed her eldest son and lifted him up, when they reached the door to the ICU.

»That's a beautiful song, but in there are some people who are sleeping. Do you think you can be quiet for a while, as long we go looking for your daddy?«

»Daddy?« Abel raised his eyebrows.

»Yeah Baby, Daddy is sleeping too, you know?«

Abel was nodding as he could understand what his mom tried to tell him and kept his mouth shut with ostentation. Tara smiled at him and hit the button for the bell. Adam opened the door from the other side and let them in.

Gemma looked up, obviously surprised, when Tara and Abel entered the unit. The hard lines of rage had vanished from her face and the old lady seemed exhausted and broken. Just Abel, who's attitude always acted on people like the brightest sunshine, lit up her face. Without a word Tara dropped her son on the end of the bed. Abel didn't seem to be that much confused by the monitoring stuff and the IV-lines.

They had given Jax a triple lumen central line, that disappeared under his left collarbone. The shortest way for the meds to his heart. Endotracheal tube, defi-paddles, pulseoxy and urinay chath – suddenly she was glad that Jax was unconscious, he probably couldn't stand another humiliation – no part of his body was left unscathed. The latter was no wonder in consideration of his kidney values, and indeed, they hadn't produced that much urine. If Adam was right and Jax's organs had started shutting down, there would be nothing they could do for him. No meds, no therapy, no surgery. It happened too fast.

Abel didn't notice any of that, he was just watching his father and finally bent over him.

»Daddy?« he asked with his high and crystal clear voice. »Tiggle?«

Abel let his tiny fingers circle at his father's sides in elatedness, but this time Jax didn't react.