A/N: Hey y'all. So I think you are all pretty sad from what happened in chapter 13 and this chapter is just as sad in different ways. So it's the morning after. Pretty big chapter or at least I think so.

Ashley this is what I did today instead of going to see 17 Again. I hope you like it. Love you. XOXO

Into. scrapes, drkvctry, Tuesday Jane, Claire Bloom, TRDancer(got it right this time;)), ARenee363 and Lottie2303 I love you ladies. Here is the shout out I give you guys almost every time cause I love you. XOXO

Charley Cullen cause I know you'll go nuts. Please re-read your review before you post please. XO.

Saranic love you, cause your awesome. XOXO

Okay so here it is.


BPOV

It was the sound of the door opening and closing that woke me up. I heard Edward take in a quick breath of air and bounce around on the bed. I heard Jacob tip toe across the room and sit on the bed. "What the fuck happened dude? Why is she here?" They thought I was still asleep. I kind of was, I was in this half awake, half asleep limbo.

"You don't have your phone with you do you?" I heard Edward say.

"No." I heard Jacob stand and walk a couple of steps over to what I assumed was a table and heard the flip of a cell phone.

And then I remembered. For those blissful fifteen seconds I forgot what had happened; but now I remembered and my whole body tensed with grief. I pulled the comforter around me, trying to make it live up to its name. It smelled like Edward, and I relaxed just a little before my body hardened again.

"I have like seventeen missed calls from my dad. What the fuck happened?" I heard him sit on the bed again.

"Charlie died." His voice was emotionless when he said it. I forced my rigid body to curl into a ball and I squeezed my eyes shut as much as possible. I was preparing myself for all of the things that a sleep limbo didn't allow. I was becoming more and more alert and I could feel my king size hangover starting to take over. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and the full weight of my grief that was pinning me to the bed. I wanted to move or stretch out, but my body wouldn't allow it. I was tensing then releasing and it felt like my body was involuntarily dry heaving.

"Charlie, like Charlie Swan?" He sounded out of breath. I assumed Edward nodded because I didn't hear him say anything but Jake responded. "Oh my God." I heard his phone flip open again and he stood and walked to the door; he opened it. "Hey dad." He closed the door behind him.

I had to move. I had to spin around and let him know I was awake. I did, slowly pushing my stiff legs out and then turning over onto my back letting out a moan. "Bella?" I heard his weight leave Jake's bed and transfer to his.

I took a large breath in and my lungs ached. I said the first thing that came into my mind. "It smells like feet in here." And then the hangover hit me full force and it gripped its nasty, painful hands around my tiny little brain.

I heard him laugh, sort of. "Yeah it does."

I brought my hand to my head and let my eyes stay closed because I knew the light would side with the hangover. "Holy sweet mother of all hangovers." My voice was all crackly and grainy, and I moaned again and turned my head to where I thought Edward was.

"Are you alright? Are you gonna be sick?" He sounded really concerned and I would have smiled if I wasn't in so much pain.

Yes, I was going to be sick. My throat burned with the vomit that was rising and my mouth watered with that disgusting salty taste that everyone always got before they were sick. I nodded.

"Okay." He sighed and pulled the blankets off of me and grabbed me under my armpits and sat me up on the bed. "Can you stand up?"

Could I stand up? I couldn't even open my fucking eyes. I shook my head.

He took my arm and slinked it around his shoulders and wrapped one of his arms around my waist and the other under the back of my knees and picked me up. He kicked something open and I was bombarded with cold air. It was fantastic. He placed me down and turned my body and pushed me forward bending me over a cold metal railing. "Now throw up."

"I'm not getting sick in front of you." I was probably going to be sick in front of him, even though I absolutely didn't want him to see me vomit. I was fighting the sickness because I wanted it to stay. It was a physical pain and it was the only thing I could really feel right now. I didn't want to throw up because I knew that once I emptied the contents of my stomach and treated my headache with aspirin, I would be left a much worse kind of pain. The kind that couldn't be cured by my gag reflex or treated with over the counter medication, just illegal narcotics and I wasn't doing that, not after Jasper.

"For Christ sakes Bella just throw up." He yelled at me and my head rang. My eyes flew open and the light burned my retinas; I knew it would side with my hangover. My body heaved and the first wave of sickness flowed out of my mouth. Edward had quickly brought his hands around either side of my face and in a quick, gentle motion held back my hair. My vomit landed in a busted TV sitting abandoned below. It smelt like bourbon and acid and forced me to vomit more.

I dry heaved long after the my stomach was empty and just waited for the contracting to stop; welcoming it and wishing it would go away all at the same time. After I was sure I was done, I stood and pushed Edward away to show him I could stand on my own now. I looked at him. Jasper fucking beat the shit out of him. His face was still beautiful even with all the swelling, but it still wasn't pleasant to look at and his body was covered in bruises. I wanted to step forward and touch them, but I was in no mood to comfort. He tilted his head and looked at me. "You all done?"

I nodded. He took one of my hands and placed his other on my back and led me back into their dorm. Jake was standing there with red puffy eyes and he was holding a bottle of water and some aspirin. He extended his hands. "I think you might need these." His voice hitched when he said this because he wasn't fully over the tears he had just shed; he sniffed. I took the aspirin and the water and carefully took them. I lowered myself onto the bed and he sat beside me. "Bella, I'm so sorry." He grabbed me and put me in a bear hug and started silently crying again.

I started slapping him in the arm. "Jake, you have to let me go." I wasn't looking forward to this, all these people that were going to tell me that they were sorry. Sorry for what? They didn't do anything; it was an expression I never really understood.

He let go of me immediately and looked down at his hands embarrassed, a single tear fell off his face. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I've just got a high school marching band playing in my head and when my brain is shaken around it doesn't help." Fuck, I was a bitch. The bitchy part of my hangover was coming out.

Edward bent over slowly and picked a shirt up of the floor and smelled it and put it on. "Did you have anything to do today?"

I looked at him and shook my head. "No. I was supposed to go home today." I tried to stretch a little. "My dad was supposed to come get me." I realized what I had said after I had said it and my chest tightened. I was forcing myself to breathe in these tiny light forced breaths, like I was hyperventilating.

Edward looked away from me. "Do you need a ride to Forks?" He looked back at me and ran his fingers along his lips, wincing slightly when he touched his cut.

I thought about it. "Maybe. I think I need to go home and talk to Rosalie and find out where the fuck Jasper is." Edward's whole body tightened when I said Jasper's name. "Sorry." He waved his hand implying that I shouldn't worry about it. "Can you give me a ride home?"

He looked at me like I was fucking crazy for even asking. "Yeah."

I looked around for my coat; my favorite jean jacket that Rosalie fucking bejeweled on a pain killer bender. I picked it up and Edward grabbed it from me and held it open so all I had to do was put my arms in and he wrapped it around me.

Jacob stood, still playing with his hands and he was still crying. I think he wanted to say something to me, but he couldn't; he just cried. I watch the tears fall off his face and my heart swelled and envied him. I could feel the tears right at the bottom of my eyes, but they refused to come. I could feel the sobs sitting at the bottom of my lungs, but they could barely breathe for me right now, let alone cry. I wanted them, I wanted his tears and Edward's tears that I'm sure he cried and everyone else's. I wanted every tear that someone shed for my father because I couldn't shed my own.

I must have been in shock. Edward must have been right because I cried over everything. I cried watching the fucking Powerpuff Girls, but I couldn't cry when my father dies? What was wrong with me? I had to sit down.

I walked past Jacob and sat back down on Edward's bed and put my head between my knees. My head was fucking throbbing and I felt like I was going to be sick again. "Bella." Edward knelt down beside me. "Are you okay?"

"I need to go home. I need to leave now." I shook my head between my legs and wondered where I got these ugly pants. They had to be Rosalie's.

Edward helped me stand and walk out of his dorm. "Bye Bella." Jacob shouted just before Edward closed the door. He led me down the hall and down a flight of stairs supporting almost all my weight. He sat me down on a bench and went to get the Volvo.

I sat and tried to inhale some of the cold, crisp air. I managed to get a few breathes in and I could literally feel it sitting in my lungs.

I found myself sitting in the Volvo moments later not too sure of how I got there. My brow furrowed in confusion. "What happened?"

"You passed out. Do you need to go to the hospital?" His brows were knitted together and he looked like he was seconds away from biting his nails.

I shook my head. "No, I'm just tired and hung over and upset." I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands and slumped into the seat.

He drove fast and I loved him for it. I wanted to be in my apartment, in my bed. He pulled up to the front of the building and walked me to the front door. The sun came out; of all fucking days, this was the day Seattle decided to be sunny. "Are you going to be okay?" He pulled a pair of aviators out of his pocket and put them on me.

I shook my head. "No."

"I'm mean to get up to your apartment." He ran his hand through his hair.

I stared at him, tinted green from his sunglasses that I probably would never give back to him, and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sorry I was so rude to you last night and thank you for taking care of me."

He took a step up and hugged me, lightly pressing his lips on my hairline. "Don't say you're sorry Bella. This-" He paused and sighed. "If you need anything, all you have to do is call." He parted and took the step back down. "If you need a ride later-"

I cut him off. "I'll call you later, okay Edward."

He nodded and walked towards his car.

I got into my building and waited forever for the fucking elevator. Once it finally arrived I pushed number 5 and leaned up against the mirrored interior closing my eyes so I didn't have to look at myself. I slowly walked down the hallway and stopped in front of my apartment. I could hear Rosalie yelling. Fuck this is going to hurt my head.

I put my key in the lock and turned to find that the door was already open. I pushed open the door and the yelling stopped. Standing in the kitchen was Rosalie with her hand on her hip looking like she was about to kill me and Jasper standing about a foot away from the couch. I gasped a little when I saw him, one because I couldn't believe he was there, and two he didn't look bad, just like someone who hadn't been home in a couple of days. His hair was starting to get longer and I wanted to run my hand through it like I used to.

"Where the fuck where you?" I closed my eyes as Rosalie angered my hangover, but I didn't answer her. I opened my eyes and looked at Jasper and she continued. "Was your phone turned off? Did you get any of my messages?" She was fucking pissed. I didn't call, I always called and Rosalie hated not knowing where I was, she was a worrier.

"Where were you?" I sputtered out, Jasper looked up at me. It was the first time he looked at me. His eyes moved over me slowly before he answered.

"I was at a friend's house." He ran his hand through his hair.

Rosalie's mouth was open as she looked from me to Jasper. "Who gives a fuck where he was? Where were you? Why are you dressed like you came from a trailer park?"

I ignored her. "What friend?" My brain was going to leak out my ears.

He looked away from me and didn't answer me. "Isabella Marie Swan tell me where you were before I smack a bitch!"

I looked over at her. "I was at Edward's."

"You were at Edward's?" Jasper voice was quiet and almost calming, I was breathing easier.

"Yeah." I looked at him, wanting to know who his friend was.

"Why?" Rosalie was not pleased with this answer.

"Because I got really drunk and passed out at Eclipse and he didn't want to take me here cause you'd kill him, so he took me to his dorm." I was really beating around the bush because I didn't want to answer the next question. I wanted this hostile environment; not the sad, pitied mood I was about to turn this into.

"Why were you drinking?" Jasper took one step closer to me.

I paused. I figured this would be the last time I would have to say these words because I'd have enough people to say it for me. The tightened feeling in my chest returned quickly. Jasper was a fantastic distraction, but everything had come full circle and we were back to where I didn't want to be. "My dad died."

I heard Rosalie gasp and Jasper stepped backwards hitting the back of the sofa. The mood had changed and I was surrounded by my grief again. I looked up at Rosalie who had brought her hands up to her face and already had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Bella." She sounded so sympathetic.

I pulled out a chair and sat down and focused on my headache, my exquisitely painful hangover. I heard someone move, it was Rosalie. She knelt down in front of me and grabbed my face and just stared at me. "I'm gonna call Emmett and get him to pack up some of Jasper's things and come over here and then we're going to Forks."

"Rosalie it's Christmas time, go home to see your family and-"

She cut me off. "Bella, you are my family." She knelt there and looked at me, her eyes rushing over my face as tears ran down her cheeks, past her bruised, broken nose. I knew that Rosalie would be the most beautiful person I would ever meet regardless of what she looked like. She brushed my hair from my face and kissed my forehead. "Plus my parents are in Europe, Christmas shopping." She moved towards the phone and went into her room.

I looked over at Jasper. He was brushing his fingers under his eyes. The way the sun was hitting his face I could see the wet smudge his finger left as he wiped his tear away. He pushed himself away from the couch and crouched down so he was looking up at me. "I made friends with a guy in AA and I went to his house. His name is Marcus and he went through something similar to me and we got along really well. And after I got dropped off on Monday morning, I found a bar and I sat down and I ordered a drink and I stared at it for hours." He rubbed his hand over his eyes and then grabbed one of my hands sitting limply in my lap. "And I knew I didn't want to drink it, I knew it. I didn't want to be that guy again so I took out my phone and called someone that was completely separate from this life. And I cut everyone off so I had a few days to think and collect myself with the exception of our phone call."

It made sense what he was saying, to completely get away from everything that reminded him of the hurt I had caused him and I looked up at him. "Who bailed you out?"

He looked away from me and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand that wasn't holding onto mine. He was hesitating. Why would he hesitate? Was it Alice? He looked back up at me and sighed. "Edward called your dad and he bailed us out." He looked down at the floor and grabbed my other hand. "I don't think he wanted you to know."

I stopped breathing. The stranger, the kind Samaritan that bailed out my boys, was my father and no one bothered to tell me. I just stared at his hands, hoping this would be it, that this would be the event that would allow me to cry, but I was wrong. I had involuntarily built up a fortress around my father and his death and even though it was huge and was taking up almost all the space I had in my life, I couldn't get inside. I could only walk around the outsides hopelessly waiting for it to crack.

"I'm sorry Bella. About everything, about your dad and the way I spoke to you on the phone, all of it. I was just so, so…" He trailed off and sighed.

Rosalie came out of her room dressed with a packed bag, she looked over at me and Jasper, still crying and pointed at me. "You need to change and pack."

I nodded and stood and walked over to my room with Jasper and Rosalie right behind me. I sat on the bed and Rosalie started going through my drawers throwing things into a large cloth bag. She took out a pair of sweat pants, my Fight Club t-shirt and some new underwear and tossed it my way. I changed and Jasper caught me when I wobbled and almost fell over, and when I was done I sat down again. She tossed the bag outside the room just by the door and quickly put my hair up in a ponytail. She grabbed the sunglasses I had taken off and left on the bed and put them back on my face. She was still crying and she barely knew my father. Maybe she was crying for me or maybe my dad just had that kind of impact on people.

I stood and collected my purse and leaned against a wall waiting for Rosalie to check everything before we left. Emmett came in carrying two large army style bags and dropped them by the door and looked at me and grabbed my wrist and pulled me in for a hug. "I'm so sorry Bella." I just stood there limply letting him hug me because I couldn't force myself to do anything else. I just wanted to get into the car and press my ear up against Jasper chest so I could count his heartbeats or his breaths, maybe both, and fall asleep.

I got into the Firebird while Rosalie made phone calls and Jasper and Emmett put all of our things in the trunk. Jasper got in beside me and pulled me close. I lowered my head onto his chest feeling exhausted again and he wrapped his seatbelt around the both of us. I started counting his breaths because they were the easiest to follow and Rose plugged in her iPod and turned on some soft rock that I think may have been Air Supply, while Emmett drove.

I was asleep in seconds, and when I opened my eyes I was looking at my father's house.

It looked exactly the same as it did the last time I saw it just before the school year started when my dad drove us back to Seattle after the accident. I promised I would come and visit him, and I never did. It still had the rickety, rusting railings on either sides of the concrete stairs leading up to an old oak screen door and a peeling white door. The white side paneling was still dirty and the shutters desperately needed to be painted. The garden was overrun by weeds and the grass was dying in the winter cold, but it still looked strangely inviting.

I reached inside my purse and pulled out the key my dad had given me just in case I ever needed to get into the house when he wasn't around and undid my seatbelt. Jasper carefully got out of the car and held his hand out for me as I stepped out and stared at the house.

Rosalie went around the back end of the car with Emmett and helped him with the bags while Jasper and I made our way to the front door. Jasper held the screen door open for me while I slid the key into the lock and turned it. The door made the same creaking noise it always made when it was opened or closed and I stepped inside my home.

Lights were still on from when he left, so I turned them off. Everything in the house was set in a way that they were expecting the owner to return. The meat that was left on a plate to defrost, dishes left unwashed, sections of the morning paper left in disarray on the kitchen table. There was an ashtray on the kitchen table that I walked up to and looked at it; my dad had started smoking again. I wondered how long that had been going on for and noticed that one of the butts had lipstick on it. Did my dad have a girlfriend? If he did, he certainly didn't tell me about it.

I heard Rosalie and Emmett come in with the bags and place them by the front door. I walked towards the fridge and looked at the one picture he had placed of us on there. It was probably the most ridiculous picture that had ever been taken. It was from the summer that had just past when we went up to LaPush for a backyard barbeque at Harry Clearwater's house. My dad and I were sitting on the back deck drinking beer, because my dad was cool like that, and we were given these trucker hats by Harry's daughter Leah because she worked for the company that made them. So we had these stupid hats on and Sue, Harry's wife, came up to us and told us to get together for a picture. My dad put his arm around me and made the most gangster face I had ever seen and made a gangster 'westside' symbol with his hand. I immediately started laughing because I couldn't believe that Charlie knew gangster hand symbols. I did the same thing with my hand but couldn't stop laughing and Sue took the picture. It was probably my favourite picture of us.

I smiled and left it in my hand as I looked around the house that I think now belonged to me. I walked into the living room and saw the few empty beer cans that sat on the coffee table without coasters and the flat screen television mounted up on the wall that my dad loved like a second child.

I walked back into the foyer and looked at Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett who hadn't moved since they came in. I was still tired, but my headache and stomach sickness had died down and I could only feel the void that grief leaves. It was being amplified now that I was standing in his house.

I walked up the stairs and walked into his bedroom and got under his covers and closed my eyes. It smelled like him, musk, the leather from his jackets, and cheap drug store cologne, and I told myself never to forget this smell, this was his smell, this smell belonged to him. I got under the covers and prayed for sleep knowing that it would be more difficult this time seeing as how I slept the whole car ride down. I knew that I had things to do, people to phone and a funeral to plan, but it would have to wait. I was taking a mental health day. I was taking a 'me' day. To sleep and recover from my bourbon fuelled bender the night before.

As I lied there clutching the ridiculous picture of my father and I, I hoped that mass amounts of sleep and a clear head would allow me to have the emotion I desired in the morning. I want to lift this weight and I knew tears would do that.

I heard someone draw the blinds making the room feel almost pitch black and then a weight on the bed. I knew it was Jasper because I could smell him. He placed his head on the crook of my neck. "Do you want to be alone?"

"No. You can stay." I said taking his nearest hand and wrapping it around me. He got under the covers and spooned me bringing me in close, wrapping his feet around mine, which were freezing, and nestled into the bed with me. "I just need this day." I said feeling like I needed to explain my behaviour.

"You can have this day Bella." He said quietly, breathing deeply. I counted his breaths again because it helped me sleep and it did. I feel asleep taking this one day before the facing all the other ones that lay before me.

EPOV

After I dropped Jake off I drove towards Forks wanting to be in my town. I stopped at a street that would lead me to my house if I went left and to Bella's house if I went right. I went right. She hadn't phoned me, and I was worried that she was stuck in Seattle. When I pulled up to the house Rosalie's Firebird was in the driveway. I thought about turning around because I knew I was going to face not only her wrath but probably Emmett's and Jasper's as well.

I turned off the car and walked towards the house that I had been in only once and knocked on the rickety screen door. Rosalie answered and stared me down through the mesh. I could see what I had done to her face and for the first time felt guilty about it. She still looked good though and I realized that was the only thing me and Rosalie had in common. "What do you want?" she hissed at me.

"Is Bella around?" I had my hands in my pockets and I was rocking back and forth on my heels.

Rosalie stared me down and said nothing, she just looked at me and then she looked behind her quickly. She stepped outside closing both doors behind her. We stood on the small concrete porch while she did nothing but stare at me, and then she took a step forward and threw her arms around my neck. I could hear her start to cry. "Thank you for taking care of her." She said in a whisper; a level that I didn't know Rosalie's voice could hit and then she parted wiping under her eyes. "Now leave before I kill you."

I furrowed my brow. "What was that?"

She completely ignored my question, and for the first time in the four months I had known her the tiniest shade of pink crept into Rosalie's cheeks. "Bella is asleep and probably will be for the rest of the day, so there is no point of you coming around today. She'll call you tomorrow, she will, now leave."

I shook my head. "You're a strange breed Hale."

She nodded. "Yes I am."

I walked down the steps knowing that I wasn't seeing Bella today and feeling like this trip was a complete waste of my time. "Hey." I turned and saw Rosalie resting against the railing. "She's gonna pick you, you know."

I stopped completely in shock, not knowing why she chose to share this with me. "Did she say something?" I was trying to sound nonchalant.

Rosalie shook her head. "No. I can just tell. She doesn't look at Jasper the way she looks at you and she came to you last night. She'll give me, Jasper and you excuses probably having to do with geography of why she did it, but she came to you because she wanted to be with you and it's only a matter of time before she is ready to admit it to herself." She shrugged and then and made a gesture with hand that told me to leave again. "Now vanish." She turned and walked into the house.

I walked back towards the car feeling happy when I know I shouldn't. I was also completely puzzled by Rosalie and wondered how Emmett handled her. I guess Emmett never punched her in the face and fell in love with her best friend.

I got in the car and sped towards my house. I pulled into my driveway that was well hidden; you'd miss it if you didn't know it was there and pulled up beside my mother's modest Mercedes. I got out of the car and looked at our well manicured lawn, even in the winter, and the trees wrapped in burlap and twine. I got my stuff out of the back seat and walked around the side of the house to come in through our kitchen. I saw my dad's Cadillac parked along the side and I sighed; I hoping that he wouldn't have been home yet. I walked in quietly hoping to get to my bedroom undetected.

I would have no such luck. The door of our overpriced refrigerator was open and I prayed that it was my mother, it wasn't. The door shut and behind it stood my 4'11 twin trying to pull off her best Audrey Hepburn Funny Face impression. Alice's jet black hair had gotten longer since I saw her last and it now rested on her shoulders flipping out perfectly at the ends. She had black skinny jeans on and a black cotton top that almost fell off both of her shoulders. She stood there staring at me, tears welling in her eyes holding everything needed to make a sandwich. She looked just like my mother; same nose, mouth, bone structure everything except her eyes, her eyes were my father's.

I stared at her trying to remember my excuse for hating her. I knew what it was, but it just didn't hold up anymore in light of everything that had happened. I needed and wanted most of my family with me. We used to fight like cats and dogs, but she was one of my best friends, I used to tell her almost everything and I trusted her with my life. I crouched down and opened my arms like I always used to and she threw everything on our island and ran towards me wrapping her arms around my neck. I lifted her up so she hovered a good foot and a half above the ground and tightened my arms around her knowing in this hug that everything was forgiven. "Hello baby brother." She said quietly.

I laughed. "Hello big sister." I laughed again. Alice was exactly five minutes and thirty seven seconds older than me and would never let anyone forget it.

I put her down and walked into the kitchen sitting on a stool around the island as she went back around and started making a sandwich, she looked up at me. "Do you want a sandwich?"

I was hungry so I nodded. "How's New York?" I asked genuinely interested. I knew nothing about her life there because I was never really all that interested before. "You look like you got the Soho Bohemian chic thing down." I said motioning towards her.

She smiled like a bitch and then gave me the finger. God its funny how some things never change.

I shrugged. "What? I mean it, you look good Alice." She laughed and looked slightly embarrassed as she put mustard on some bread.

"Yeah, well I love school and I'm learning a lot and my form has gotten so much better. And I've made tons of friends and met so many people, and I've got a job at this little coffee shop and I'm about to move into this apartment with a girl I dance with and I'm great." She broke into her large Cheshire cat like smile with her apple cheeks and shrugged her shoulders.

She slid the first sandwich towards me and I picked it up. "So you're Rachel Greene except you dance instead of design clothes." I said biting into the sandwich laughing slightly.

She mock laughed back at me. "Uh, fuck you." She put everything back in the fridge and sat on the stool.

"No, Alice that's really great." I said actually meaning it.

She smiled again. "I know right." She started eating her sandwich and after a few bites she looked up at me. "What about you?"

"School sucks, I have no friends, I punched a girl, got in fight, made a fool out of myself multiple times, and I'm in love with a girl that may or may not want me. So I'm awesome."

"So that's why your face is all messed up." She motioned to my face.

I nodded.

"That sucks." She took another bite of her sandwich. "That sucks about Charlie, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah it sucks a lot." I shook my head and we ate the rest of our sandwiches in silence. I could feel the question she wanted to ask me, but I knew she wouldn't because she wanted to pretend like she didn't care.

"Don't eat too much we are going into Port Angeles tonight and I'm not paying for you two to waste food." Carlisle came into the kitchen and took a beer out of the fridge, opened it and took a sip. He walked up to Alice and kissed her head. "Hello honey."

"Hello Daddy." She said looking up at me knowing my exchange with my father was going to be unpleasant.

He put his beer on the island and looked at me. "What happened to your face Edward? Did you slip?" He said looking annoyed, but still smiling smugly. He was being an asshole, but he said this because every time I was physically hurt in high school after a fight or doing something stupid when my parents would ask me what happened, I would tell them that I slipped. I was being immature, but he was an ass.

"No, I got in a fight." I said looking at him in the eye. Looking at his face that looked exactly like mine, except older. He had perfect bone structure, a narrow nose and lips that were the exactly same shape as mine, only thinner. He had a full head of unnaturally blonde hair and his eyes where the color of the sea; grey with specks of green and blue just like Alice's. But unlike Alice's that moved like the sea Carlisle's eyes were dead, they hadn't moved in all the years I could remember.

"Really? A fight? What could you possibly be fighting about?" He leaned forward placing his elbows on the counter taking another swig of his beer.

"Come on Daddy, just leave him alone." Alice looked at him and placed her hand on his arm.

I looked away from Carlisle for only a second to look at Alice. "No Alice its okay-" I looked back at him. "I was fighting over a girl."

"Hmmm." He said looking rather impressed. "Are we going to have the pleasure of meeting this young lady?" He raised his eyebrows.

Why was he such an asshole? Why did he hate me so much? I nodded. "Yeah, you will actually. It's Isabella Swan."

He stood up straight. "Charlie's kid?" He said sounding almost disgusted.

Alice had also sat up. "Isn't she dating Jasper?" She looked insanely concerned and appalled, and she was looking at me like I had just taking taken food from a homeless orphan.

"Yeah she is." I said looking at her.

Her brow furrowed. "What are you thinking?"

"Alice, I really think you are in no position to talk to me about how I treat Jasper." I was being an asshole now. I didn't want to be an asshole, that was what I promised myself when I started heading down here, but it was impossible when I had to spend time with my father and talk about the clusterfuck that was the 'Bella situation.'

She shook her head and got off the stool and huffed off upstairs.

"So you're trying to steal your best friend's girl." He started nodding. "And isn't he all-" He motioned towards his head. "All messed up in the head. Isn't he like an addict or something?"

I just started at him. "I thought you liked Jasper."

"I did when he was with Alice. I liked him because Alice liked him but he was friends with you, so how great of a guy could he be?" This was a rhetorical question. He shrugged and left the room.

I shook my head and drank the rest of Carlisle's beer. I got up and went outside so I wouldn't break anything inside the house. This was going to be a fucking long Christmas break.

I was such a fuck up in his eyes and everyone that associated themselves with me was a fuck up too. He was my father, he sort of raised me, so if I was such a fuck up wasn't it his fault? Was that why he hated me so much? Was it because he failed at something? Fuck it, I had to stop caring.

I walked around the back of the house and found my mother sitting in a gazebo that wasn't in the backyard when I went off to school. It looked like she was smoking. I walked up to her, but she didn't seem to hear me and was startled when I spoke to her. "Are you smoking?"

She jumped a little and tried to hide the cigarette but realized that it was pointless considering I had already called her out on it. She tilted her head from side to side and she nodded. She had been crying and she looked up at me patted the seat beside her. I sat down and looked at her. "When did you start smoking?"

She sniffed. "A couple weeks ago." She took a long inhale and looked out at our backyard. "I used smoke all the time in high school." She looked over at me as she finished exhaling. "Do you want one?"

I was slightly taken aback and almost didn't except, but I knew she was upset and if my mom wanted to have a cigarette with me, then I would have a cigarette with her. I nodded and she reached into her sweater pocket and passed me the pack and I took one out and lit it. This was exactly what I needed.

We sat there in silence for a long time. "Why is dad such an asshole?" I figured why not. I was smoking with my mother I might as well swear in front of her.

She took the last drag of her cigarette and lifted the head of a gnome and placed inside. It was filled with water because I heard the sound of it going out. She chuckled just a little bit. "Your father and I have not had sex in a long time-" she looked over at me. "And he's too afraid to cheat. So he's a little frustrated." She shrugged.

I just stared at her with my mouth slightly open and then started laughing. "That is a good, slightly disturbing reason." I said taking a drag. "He just hates me so much."

She started nodding. "Yeah, he does." Something was really bothering her, she was smoking and talking to her son about her and her husband's sex life and now she was telling me that my father did hate me. "Mom are you okay?"

She shook her head and started sobbing and she grabbed my hand. I didn't know where to put my cigarette, so I flicked it out into the yard. I knew why she was crying. She was crying over Charlie, and I didn't know what to say because I didn't know anything about their relationship. So I looked over at her and decided to ask because we seemed to be having a moment of truth with each other. "Mom, were you and Charlie having an affair?"

She looked at me and shook her head. "No." She paused. "But we were going to." She started sobbing again.

I didn't say anything. What could I say? What do you say to your mother when she tells you that she was going to cheat on your father with the father of the girl you're in love with that died the day before?

She composed herself slightly and looked up at me. "I never told you about Charlie did I?" I shook my head. She took a tissue out of her pocket and wiped underneath her nose. "Charlie and I started dating each other when we were in the seventh grade and we dated until the first week of senior year; that was when Renee's family moved to Forks." She sighed. "Everyone was blinded by her and she set her sights on Charlie, and that was it. And by the time everything fell apart between the two of them I had already started dating your father, we were engaged and you and Alice were just a little over one and I moved on." She took another cigarette and I lit it for her after her trembling hands wouldn't allow it. "And through the years we had a weird secret kind of friendship because your father hated Charlie, but the past couple of months your father was rarely at home and Charlie would come over just for coffee and we talk for hours or I would go over to his house if I had to. But it was just so nice to have someone to talk to again, someone I had history with, someone that actually wanted to hear what I had to say."

I lit a cigarette and took a ridiculously long drag; this was a lot of information.

"And for the past couple of weeks we have been talking about starting some sort of physical relationship and he was here yesterday and we were, we-" She started crying again my continued to speak through her sobs. "We were going to do, we were doing to take that step, but I couldn't do it because I'm a coward and I made him leave." She looked at me. "That's why he was so close to Archie's. If I was strong enough to do it he would have stayed with me and he would still be alive." She leaned over and placed her hand on her forehead.

I had never been at such a loss for words before and I couldn't say anything. I just sat there watching her back fall up and down erratically. I placed my hand on her back. "Mom this isn't your fault." My voice was shaking and I didn't even realize I was crying until that very moment.

She looked up at me. "How is this not my fault?"

"You had no idea what was going to happen when he left yesterday, you can't blame yourself for this because there will be no closure and you'll go on hating yourself forever."

She sat up and looked at me. She took her index finger and wiped the tears from under my eyes, gently. "You got into a fight with Jasper over Bella right?"

I nodded.

"Well." She wiped under her eyes and smoothed out her hair. My mother was a beautiful woman, inside and out and she deserved better than the life she had. "Don't make the mistake I made Edward. If you think she's worth it, you fight for her to your last breath." She brushed some of my hair out of my face and stood and kissed my head. "I'm glad you're home." She turned and walked towards our house and disappeared inside.

I smoked the rest of the cigarette and looked at our yard mulling over my mother's words. I didn't really know what to do with what she told me. My life felt like a teen drama on the WB or some shit except I didn't get a script and I didn't know my next line.

"Edward!" I turned and saw Carlisle waiting on the porch by the kitchen. "Come inside and get ready to leave. Now." He turned and walked inside letting the door slam behind him.

I sighed and put my cigarette in the head of the gnome and walked towards my house getting ready for a dinner that would probably resemble my idea of hell.

So there it was we are back in Forks. Finally some Alice and some Carlisle.

I would like to ask you all something. My beta saranic started a thread for me on Twilighted and I noticed these cool little icon things that you can click on and they bring you to the story. Well I want one but I have no idea how to do it. Does anyone know how to do it? Does anyone want to make one for me? Cause I think they are cool and if any of you are on Twilighted you can help me out by placing it at the end of your posts and pimp my story out. I have no idea why I am talking like this; I've been watching teen dramas all day.

Thanks again to everyone. XOXO

I am a review junkie. Review please!!

Have a nice weekend.