Chapter 14:
Up to what extent?
Illnesses cause different side effects from person to person, may it be psychological or physical. But some people experience zero side effects; they just get sick, recover, and move on with life. Yukio's one of them, he'll get sick, rest, take medication, rest again, then get well and healthy again; no strings attached. Though, his twin is far from normal when he got sick. Rin gets downright... delusional. There was one time when they were kids, Rin had a high fever from winter and thought Shirou was God, Yukio was their neighbor, the priests were action stars. Little Rin unknowingly would make Yukio upset because he would ask: ''Why is our neighbor here? Where'd my moley brother go?''
In those times, Rin's delusional side effects during sickness is a fact for those who has lived with him for a long time, so they're pretty used to being called random things - It gets from amusing, to annoying. Shirou sought after a doctor to know if such psychological state is normal, the doctor said it may be an effect from Rin's ADHD that since he's sick, he can't move as much as his body needed to and his mind compensated for that so his brain stimulates non-stop, hence, the hallucinations. But it is something to not be worried about with the proper treatments.
Yukio could only sigh at the delusion Rin has this time.
He laid there on his bed with an all too gleeful expression as he giggled, "Hyahaha... Yuki-chaaaann... am I the best kitty?" Apparently, Rin thought he's a cat because when he woke up earlier, he saw his tail.
"Ugh... yeah, sure." Yukio was right with the decision of not going to school in the meantime to take care of his twin. Who knows what will his brother get himself in to.
"Nyan! Nyan! Nyan! I'm a cat!" Rin chanted while swiping the air with his 'paws'.
"Alright, nii-san, that's nice. Now drink this,"
"No!"
"Come on, please? It's your medicine. It'll make you feel all better." Yukio tried to convince him with a gentle smile as he held out the spoon filled with liquid medicine. Rin glared at him with a hefty scowl, and with one quick motion, the half demon took the spoon in his mouth and intake the medicine, then drank the glass of water Yukio handed him. The younger took back the empty glass and began organizing the medications and remedies used to take them downstairs when he felt deep blue eyes staring intently at him. He turned to Rin, who sat curtly on the bed with his tail wagging. They kept on staring at each other nonchalantly, from time to time, Rin would tilt his head slightly as if studying the person before him.
To many individual, being scrutinized like that with eyes that are a gorgeous shade of blue that it's almost intimidating could be annoying and somewhat makes one feel conscious, but for Yukio, those eyes... those ocean blue eyes that stared at him... felt like one of the most euphoric things in the world. Eyes that only belonged to him...if only that was true. But face it, Rin's sick and delusional, so what he does in these moments are of no special reason. Yukio only smiled at him with a: 'Rest now.' And turned to leave,
"Hey Yukio...I feel something different whenever I look at you... like there should be something more..." Rin said slightly half dazed
Yukio abruptly stopped and looked back at him still with that smile, "Your mind's just playing tricks on you, nii-san. That's why you should rest, you'll feel better if you do."
Rin looked down sadly like a child that didn't get what he wanted, "Okay... but-! You should promise that you'll go back here and pat me to sleep!"
"Why?" Came a genuinely perplexed question from the younger twin.
"Because I've been a good pet and I deserve a reward." Rin replied with all his cat glory as he crossed his arms,
"Ah right. I promise i'll come back-"
"Quickly."
"-quickly, and pat you to sleep." With that statement, Yukio left the room. He remained standing there on the other side of the door and stared blankly at the tray with an empty glass of water and used spoon. Looking at his reflection on the glass he gave a weak smile at himself, a little proud that he held his ground perfectly not letting himself be carried away with difficult emotions even when fate seems to be betraying him when he decided to distance himself a little since he had to stay close and take care of his brother. He kept on pondering lightly as he went downstairs to the kitchen and put the tray down on the sink to be washed later.
Yukio stood by the door and exhaled deeply focusing on not giving himself away, then went in the room only to be surprised and doubted again if he could restrain himself.
"Yey you're back!" There Rin sat on his bed only wearing his uniform's long button up shirt and underwear, his tail wagging gleefully behind him. He scooted to the side to give room for Yukio on the bed and patted the extra space next to him, "Come here!"
The younger twin did as he was told, keeping his focus he sat on the bed and watched as Rin gave him a big smile and laid his head on his lap curling up like a cat. The delusional half demon snuggled his cheeks fondly on Yukio's thigh with his eyes closed and wrapped his arms around his waist keeping him in place. Yukio gulped at his situation: here Rin laid so close and expected him to caress him to sleep,
Rin, you're so unfair...
Mustering up his will, he put a hand on those blue locks and started running his had through it, recognizing the sensation of Rin's soft hair against his palm and fingers. A soft sigh of satisfaction could be heard from the smaller boy and a smile made its way across his features. He looked in complete bliss as he lied on Yukio's lap and embraced him tighter,
Do you know how hard I try to keep a safe distance?
After a few minutes of nostalgic comforting touches, Rin relaxed then removed his embrace; the medicine slowly taking its effect and divested the delusions off his mind as he slept soundly on his brother.
Yukio looked at Rin as he remembered every feature, every detail of the boy that rested on him: That milky white skin, that smooth midnight blue hair that flowed through his hand like silk, those pink lips. All of it, he knew very well. But now, he can no longer touch him intimately, only a touch of someone that's close, not that of a lover. Yet here he was, so vulnerable and unknowing. Just a little more push, and he might go over the edge of self control to return to that moment, to that feeling when he still belonged to him; When the ocean met the shore.
"Ngh... Yukio...?" Rin spoke in his sleep clutching onto Yukio's lower hem of his shirt,
"Hm?" He knew that Rin wouldn't hear, but the response he got was that of a thunder roaring through the skies that awakened the night,
I might not be able to stop myself...
"I love you, Yukio..."
But then you reminded me of that wall keeping me from you...
The reality that is...
"...Because you're a kind brother..." He whispered still in his sleep, his hand let go of his hold and let it rest on Yukio's lap,
In your eyes, I can never really be more...
Than a kind brother...
End Chapter
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