That's what makes you Beautiful Chapter 14
The weeks went by and I just retreated further and further into my shell, I stopped talking to anyone who would remind me of him. My university had broken up for the summer so I spent my days holed up in my room through fear of having to face him, I almost stopped eating altogether if It wasn't for Kat and Char leaving meals outside my bedroom door, the only time I would venture out is at night when I would run round the streets of London for hours until my body was exhausted enough to send me to sleep without the usual nightmares. Things in our apartment were strained to say the least. I knew that Kat and Char felt like they couldn't bring their boyfriends over anymore, and I felt isolated, I had no one to talk to through all of this. I was completely alone. I was sat under my window watching the people on the street below when I got my first glimpse of him since this whole thing happened. He was crossing the road heading towards the apartment building, he was wearing a loose fitting pair of sweatpants and a vest top with a red beanie and red toms, he looked tired and almost sickly, pretty much the same as me, only I knew that his appearance would be from living his single life anf partying, and knowing that just tore me apart. The silence in my room was suffocating me, I needed to escape, I plugged my I-pod into my speakers and turned the volume up to full before letting the heavy guitar riffs fill my room making the floor vibrate and the windows rattle. I dragged myself into the shower whilst the music played and forced myself to go through the motions of cleaning my body. It was nearly time for me to go for my midnight runs again.
After emerging from the shower and switching the music off, I dressed myself in my sweatpants and a red sports bra, I strapped my I-pod to my bicep and slipped my feet into my trainers, I looked through my collection on hoodies and grabbed the one that screamed out to me. I held Louis' hoodie up to my nose and inhaled desperately searching for a trace of his scent only to find the soft smell of fabric softener. I balled the fabric up in my fist and head out the door and into the elevator.
As the elevator doors opened on the floor below I stepped out before freezing in my place, I forced myself forward and knocked gently on the door, I knew how late it was and I didn't want to wake them, I was about the hang the jacket from the door handle when it gently swung open to reveal a tall leggy blonde with the body of a supermodel and the face of an angel, she was wearing a pair of sleeping shorts and to my horror one of Louis Tshirts.
'H H Hi' I stuttered pathetically 'could you just pass this on to Louis' I whispered unable to form proper words
'Sure' the blonde said looking confused
I turned to walk away until she said
'You must be Frankie? Right?'
I turned back once and just looked at her blankly before heading back into the elevator, he must of told her all about me. I bet the were laughing together the whole time, I should have known, how could someone like Louis ever love someone like me, I wasn't anything special, I was just a plain if not ugly girl from Yorkshire. I would never amount to anything, and I was a fool to think that someone like Louis would ever be attracted to me.
I flicked the switch on my I-pod and exited the building breaking into a run the second my feet touched the concrete, I never had any idea of where I was running to I just let my feet take me wherever the wanted to go and who knew where that would be.
Louis P.O.V
'Grace' I shouted down the hallway 'who was that'
I turned the corner to see my cousin Grace stood at the closed door holding my hoodie, the one that I gave to Frankie.
It suddenly registered how this must of looked to her, a girl answering the door wearing my clothes, and she would never have met Grace seeing as though she couldn't get to the New Year's Eve party.
'Fuck' I whispered as I took the jacket from Grace, I sat down on the sofa that Grace was sleeping on and put my head in my hands. Grace had turned up out of the blue on her way back from a holiday in Barcelona, the airport has misplaced her luggage so she had no clean clothes, hence the fact that she was wearing my clothes to sleep in.
'Fuck Fuckity Fucking Fuck!' I screamed as Harry came trudging sleepily out of his room asking me what had gone on, I filled him in on the situation and sat back down on the sofa.
The truth is I missed Frankie so much, my whole world revolved around her and after listening to Kat scream at me for an hour or so I realised pretty quick that I had made a mistake and totally gotten the wrong end of the stick, the only problem is I couldn't summon up the courage to make things right between me and the girl that I loved, that is why I was spending every night tossing and turning and making myself ill. Barely anyone had seen Frankie since I ruined everything Kat said she only goes out at night and comes back in the early morning.
'Enough is enough Louis' Harry demanded 'I'm sick of you moping around just because you haven't got the balls to apologise for fucking up, I've tried helping you through it and its not working, have you even seen Frankie? Because I have and she looks dreadful, her eyes are bloodshot and red her face is sunken in and she's lost far too much weight. Do you know where she's been going at night? Because I do. She's been running for hours straight, just running and running until she can't take no more because that's the only way she'll sleep without waking up screaming. She's not even talking to Kat or Char anymore because they remind her of you, she won't even talk to Rachel, her own sister. So I suggest that you stop being such a fucking pussy and get out there and find her so that you can be together because your my best friend and I hate seeing you like this, and its killing us all having to watch Frankie deteriorate'
I knew he was right, so I took his advice I slipped on a jacket over my sweatpants and t-shirt, I put my converse on and I headed out the door. I paused at the door to ask the doorman if he had seen her I told him that she was about 5 foot 6 with long Auburn hair and that she was jogging, he pointed me in the general direction that she went and I sped off trying to desperately, I must have been in tune with her because I knew instantly where she would have been heading and before no time I was rounding the corner to see her sat on a cold wooden bench on the outside of a park, however my heart dropped when I noticed she wasn't alone.
Frankie's P.O.V
I stopped running and sat down on the cold wooden bench that I sat on the day Louis left me. I sat there in the cold night with the intention of having some time to think only it didn't quite work out that way. I saw him approaching me from his motorcycle across the road, he wasn't exactly bad looking, from a distance I could see that he was wearing black low slung skinny jeans and with a black vest top only the arm holes on the vest top had been made bigger so you could see his chest and abs with every arm movement. He had dark brown, almost black hair and eyes that were an unusual colour of grey. He offered me a grin and sat down beside me and introduced himself as Jasper.
'I'm Frankie' I replied with a weak smile
'Do you smoke' he asked offering me a cigarette
I took a second to reply, remembering Louis' hate for smokers
'sure why not' I replied taking the offending item from him and sparking up, I let the toxic smoke fill my lungs before coughing it all out whilst Jasper just laughed at me.
'You could of said no, you know' he chuckled
We spent the next 10 minutes making small talk before he turned to me and said.
'so what's your story then?' he asked
And to my own surprise I found myself telling him absolutely everything, about what happened with Cameron and seeing the blonde chick in Louis apartment I even told him why I was out running so late and I was amazed to find that he actually listened to what I was saying, he even offered me advice on how to handle the situation. Eventually he offered me a ride back home on the back of his bike. I agreed seeing as though I was exhausted from telling him what happened. As he pulled up outside my apartment building he helped me off of his bike and said to me,
'Do you know the best way to get over someone?'
'no' I replied
'Well, how about I pick you up at 9 tonight and I'll show you?' he winked
I thought about it for a second and thought it Louis had moved onto Grace so fast then why couldn't I, I refused to waste another moment pining over someone that I loved who didn't love me back
'Sure' I agreed eventually
'Cool!' he smiled 'and wear something a little edgier' he smiled before revving his motorbike a few times and speeding away. I stepped back towards the curb before turning around and looking up towards the building, I could see the window to my bedroom was open with the curtains hanging out, blowing in the cold breeze; I looked down a floor and made eye contact with Louis who was looking down at me with a pained expression. I smirked up at him and walked inside before falling apart again in the elevator, how could he think that it was ok for him to move on with the bimbo but it wasn't ok for me, well he had a surprise coming for him because I decided then and there that I was going to transform myself before my date tonight, weather I was over Louis or not I wasn't going to allow him to have any power over me anymore and if being a completely different person is what it would take then that is what would happen, goodbye old Frankie and hello new Frankie.
I dragged myself into bed and fell asleep almost immediately only that didn't stop the nightmares tonight, I woke up around 11 and ran around the corner to the small pharmacy that was located there and spent a good few hours scanning their products until I found what I needed to complete my transformation. I paid for my purchases and headed back home to start on my make over. I hopped into the shower and scrubbed off all the sweat from last night before exfoliating my tired muscles. After my shower I opened the box from the pharmacy and applied the product liberally following the instructions exactly before waiting the correct amount of time and hopping back into the shower to wash away the lotions and creams leaving me with extremely bright fire engine red curls. I wasn't an idiot, I valued my original hair colour enough to ensure that I didn't use a permanent dye, but this one should last for two weeks and I bought more boxes so that I can redo it. After drying and straightening my new red locks I brushed out my outgrown fringe and removed the scissors from my make-up bag before carefully lining up the hair and snipping along, eventually leaving me with a full fringe hanging just below my eyebrows but not covering my eyes. I hoped that this was a big enough transformation to make everyone believe that I was moving on, even though I knew in my heart that I would never be able to move on from Louis I needed to at least try and I knew that the others would try and stop me if they knew that I wasn't ready for what I was going to do.
For the first time In a while I ventured outside of my bedroom knowing full well that there were people in my apartment, I tiptoes down the hall and into the living room to see Niall and Harry lounging over my sofas and Zayn sitting atop the breakfast counter, I felt their gaze on me as I walked through the kitchen, I grabbed an apple from the side and a carton of ice cream from the freezer before making my way back to my bedroom, I paused momentarily at the entrance to the living room, I turned around and looked up at them through my new fringe and tried to flash them my winning smile, which they all returned apart from Harry who just stared at me sadly. I turned back to my room before the look from Harry made me cry again, I peeked my head round Kats open door to find a startled Char and Kat staring back at me not quite knowing what to say about my new hair. After eventually making it back to my room I started getting ready for the night ahead, I put on my make up as usual only I applied lot more eyeliner to make my eyes appear dramatic and catlike. After my make-up was finished I picked out my outfit, I threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black studded belt along with a tight white t-shirt that the rolling stones logo emblazoned across the chest, I slipped on my white low top converse and a leather jacket and I was ready to go. I knew I wasn't ready for this but I couldn't bring myself to sit at home crying over my broken heart whilst Louis was living his life, he didn't miss me and he didn't want me. I needed to get over it. At 9 I headed outside with my new hair and was greeted by Jasper who looked me up and down appreciatively, it was something Louis did often however when Jasper did it I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious, he put a helmet on over my poker straight hair and we sped off.
Louis P.O.V
After watching Frankie interact with the boy, I couldn't bring myself to talk to her with a heavy heart I turned around and walked solemnly back to the apartment and sat in my window looking out onto the dark streets of London. A few hours later I looked down at the sound of a motorbike and saw Frankie gracefully jump off of the dude's motorbike, I was enraged to see that he hadn't given her a helmet to wear, he had no idea how much her life meant to me and to just endanger it like that was reckless. I looked down sadly just as Frankie's eyes met mine, she smirked and walked inside, she was happy, how could I have the audacity to intervene and get her back if she was happy with him. I dejectedly moved back towards my bed feeling the emptiness without Frankie there with me, I started humming a little tune to myself and before I knew it I had verses to go with this tune shortly followed by a chorus, this song summed up everything I felt about Frankie being with this other guy…
He takes your hand
I die a little
I watch your eyes
And I'm in riddles
Why can't you look at me like that?
When you walk by
I try to say it
But then I freeze
And never do it
My tongue gets tied
The words get trapped
I hear the beat of my heart getting louder
Whenever I'm near you
But I see you with him slow dancing
Tearing me apart
Cause you don't see
Whenever you kiss him
I'm breaking,
Oh how I wish that was me
He looks at you
The way that I would
Does all the things, I know that I could
If only time, could just turn back
Cause I got three little words
That I've always been dying to tell you
But I see you with him slow dancing
Tearing me apart
Cause you don't see
Whenever you kiss him
I'm breaking,
Oh how I wish that was me
With my hands on your waist
While we dance in the moonlight
I wish it was me
That you'll call later on
Cause you wanna say good night
Cause I see you with him slow dancing
Tearing me apart
Cause you don't see
But I see you with him slow dancing
Tearing me apart
Cause you don't see
Whenever you kiss him
I'm breaking,
Oh how I wish
Oh how I wish
Oh how I wish, that was me
Oh how I wish, that was me
After very little sleep and a lot of writing with that new song I settled myself back in at my window seat to daydream again, I heard the familiar rev of an engine and I looked down to see my world falling apart as Frankie got on the back of his motorcycle again. And my heart broke that tiny bit more when I noticed the shocking red hair streaming out behind her.
A.N Sorry its taking along time to update again, I've been so stressed out trying to get all my exams out of the way urgh, I honestly am trying to update every week now, I pinky promise . What did everyone thing to this chapter? I personally loved Harry telling Louis to sort his life out And the transformation on Frankie will not be permanent. I am a firm believer in happy endings so there will be one however it might not be the happy ending you will all want to see. As always don't forgot to review I love hearing your thoughts and suggestions Don't forget to follow me on twitter FrankieisOnFire
Love and Kisses
Frankie 3