Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used in this story and I don't own "Hear Me" be Kelly Clarkson. -Sigh- Wish I did, though...
Just Trying to Forget the Pain
Chapter 14
----Kagome----
A tentacle reached out for me and I dodged with ease, grabbing it and releasing the minimum amount of ki needed to destroy the demon larva. I smirked when the energy it stole from me returned and I turned towards the direction Sesshoumaru had pointed out on my cell phone. I sprinted until I felt a familiar pulsing youki and reached out with my senses, my ki forming a web around the area and scanning every aura it touched. My eyes shot open and I turned, facing the demon seed. With a flick of my wrist, it was turned to ash and I heard Sesshoumaru giving directions for one more demon seed, saying that rest could be killed tomorrow when making my way to work and back.
I felt my black hair whip around me as I ran and I was glad that I had put it in a ponytail. I had a lot of head turning to do and loose hair made seeing hard.
"Turn left now."
I obeyed and came face to face with a small purple butterfly. Youki pulsed off of it and I didn't hesitate before purifying it. I noticed that more and more appeared and I scowled as they lunged at me, summoning a barrier. They crashed against it and were turned to ash the moment they touched the barrier.
"So, you are the guardian the knights are supposed to protect..." a feminine voice mused and I watched as the rest of the butterflies disappeared. I looked around and saw a woman standing in front of me, clad in black.
"What are you talking about? I have no clue who's supposed to be protecting me but-"
"Don't tell me that you don't know who the Leafe Knights are..."
"They aren't meant to protect me. They protect the people from you, Fenrir. I'm strong enough to take care of myself!"
"We'll just have to see about that, then, won't we dear little Kagome..."
She opened her red eyes and I froze. They were so similar... their shape, their hue... the glowing of the red... I stepped back in fear and felt myself pressed against a wall. I was trapped. Naraku. Fenrir. They were so similar... and I was terrified. The long, flowing, wavy, black hair, the red eyes, the choice of colors in clothing... I shut my eyes.
'Don't think about it Kagome... Naraku is dead...'
"What's wrong, Kagome..." she cooed and I felt my heart clench. Even the way they talked was similar. Something suddenly came flying towards me and I dodged, but my waist was slashed in the process. I yelped and scrambled to my feet.
'...so similar...'
"Run, little Guardian. Run to your pathetic protectors. I'll kill them all one by one, just like Naraku murdered your friends."
I shook my head. "No... No, don't kill them!"
"Why not? I have to if I want to get rid of all the rebels..."
"...no...!" I whimpered and she laughed.
"Run" she hissed, smirking, "Run and live the last few days of your life."
Another attack made me turn and I sprinted as fast as I could back home. I slammed the door open and met Sesshoumaru's worried gaze. Panting, I dropped to the floor and hugged myself, trying to calm myself.
"Onee-chan!" Sesshoumaru exclaimed, shutting the door, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
"It's not real..." I whispered to myself, "...they won't die..."
Sesshoumaru froze. "You saw her, didn't you...?" he asked and I gave a tiny nod.
"Hai... I did... I met Fenrir..."
----Sasame----
As I spoke into the mic, I saw Kagome's face going unusually pale. Looking at her, I remembered that she had the same reaction for the first few days that she worked at the station... had something happened to her? She squeezed her eyes shut and dropped to her knees, holding her head. In alarm, I shot to my feet and ripped the headphones off of my head, placing them on the table in front of me before racing to her side.
"Are you okay?" I asked and she nodded, taking in deep, shaky breaths. I brushed her shoulder and she flinched. I quickly pulled my hand back. Something wasn't right. What was going on with her? She hadn't acted like this since I broke her trust in me, and even then, we had gotten together and became friends. Why was she acting like this now?
She looked up at me, a shaky smile on her face. "Don't worry about me, go and record. I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
She nodded and I took a step back, starting to turn. I walked back to the chair and watched as she shakily got to her feet before grimacing and racing out the door. Looking back at the people behind the glass in the other room, I saw them watching her in worry. They soon got back on track and gave the countdown. The familiar jazz music turned on and I glanced at the postcard.
"Today, we have another postcard from Miss Silk..."
After recording, I quickly walked out of the room and found Kagome outside of the radio station, taking deep breaths to calm herself. She looked better than before, the color now returning to her face. I walked over to her and saw her staring blankly at the sky. Her eyes moved to me and I saw her drop her gaze.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better than before..."
"I can tell... So, you still plan on going to the bar?"
She nodded and I sighed, beginning to make my way down the steps. I looked back at her and saw her eyes on me. They looked... sad... for some reason.
"Are you coming or not?" I questioned and she blinked before nodding and scurrying down the steps to make it back to my side. After giving her a quick glance, I smirked and decided to show her that side of me again. Grabbing her wrist, I jabbed her forehead with my finger.
"Itai..!" she hissed and glared at me. "What was that for?!"
"Do you know how worried you got me?" I growled playfully and she scowled.
"No, and I don't really care to be honest."
"Really now? Do I really only mean that much to you? I'm-" I cut myself off when she froze. "Kagome?"
"...sorry" she apologized and ran ahead, leaving me behind. I was confused. Did I say something wrong again? Deciding to leave her alone, I followed behind her at a distance and walked into the bar just in time to see her being dragged onto the stage again.
"Okay, well, since I'm being forced to do this again, I expect to get a bonus for this, boss. You hear me? I'm entertaining the customers, not serving them, so I better get some sort of treat!! Anyways... I guess, since I'm probably going to be doing this a lot, I'll start with a tiny little commentary about my choice of songs..."
"Just hurry up and sing!"
"Fine... fine..." she sighed into the mic and shut her eyes when the soft sounds of a piano rang out.
Hear me... Hear me
You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting…
Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hoping my dreams bring
You close to me
Are you listening?
The resounding sound of a cymbal and the entrance of electric guitars signalled the chorus.
Hear me I'm crying out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me...hear me
The guitar died out and the music relaxed back into its original mood.
I used to be scared of Are you listening?
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
No one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh I need you here
She sounded pained now, and the words began to take their toll on her body. She really was crying out, she was desperate and scared.
Hear me I'm crying out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
and Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
I'm restless and wild Hear me, Hear me, Hear me, Can you hear me? Hear me, Hear me, Hear me, (Oh, ohoh ohoh ohoh) Hear me, Hear me, Hear me..
I fall but I try
I need someone to understand
(Can you hear me?)
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I've fought
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?
Hear me I'm crying out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
I noticed a small glistening tear rolling down her cheek and I looked at my feet, trying to decide if she really wanted me to hear that or not... Feeling a light throbbing in my head, I sighed and turned around, walking back outside. I was positive that something had returned her to the state she was in before she supposedly 'healed', but what? I was getting really frustrated and annoyed now.
----Some Time Later----
"So, what can I get for you Sasame?" she chirped as I sat down on a stool at the end of her shift and I stared at her. She gave a nervous laugh and took a step back. "Maybe I should ask you after you've cooled off a bit...?"
"I don't need anything right now... I'm just waiting here so that I can send you back home. I have a few things I want to ask you."
She hesitated before nodding and moving onto the next customer. Watching her move around while taking a few glances at the clock, I waited for her by the front door when her shift had finished. She skipped over to me and I walked her back home in the darkness. In all honesty, I would have left her alone to walk home by herself if I didn't feel a pair of eyes watching us all day long. It made me uncomfortable so I had decided to walk home to make sure that she was safe.
When we got to her house unscathed, I was surprised when Sesshoumaru allowed me to go inside. After Kagome had gone into her room to change, he told me to go outside and watch. At this my face immediately turned a slight shade of red.
"I can't watch her change! I'm not like that! I'm not some perverted-" I hissed but he interrupted with a glare.
"Do it" he commanded, cracking his fingers, and I quickly obeyed. That's what led me to where I am now, sitting in a tree outside of Kagome's window and scowling as I watched Kagome change. As she lifted her shirt, I was about to look away when I saw a large scab on her waist. That caught my attention and as she changed, all I noticed were her scars. They were all over her body, marring her skin. What had happened to cause all of those injuries?
'Demons. She is, after all, the miko taking care of the jewel... but... what caused the new-' My earring flashed right after she finished changing and it caught Kagome's attention. She was about to see me when she suddenly whirled around, facing a new intruder in her room. She took a step back, closer to the window. I noticed that she was trembling.
Something suddenly shot towards her and she screamed, putting up a barrier. When the attack had ended, the barrier disappeared and a familiar woman grabbed Kagome by her throat lifting her in the air. That was it. I just sit by and watch anymore.
----Kagome----
I clawed at Fenrir's arms, trying to release her grip on my neck. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't do anything except to pathetically struggle against her enormous amount of youki.
"How is your wound, Kagome?" she taunted, gripping harder. I coughed and released my energy, burning her. She hissed and dropped me to the ground. I felt my wounds reopening and I cried out. "You're lucky I'm not at full strength, miko" she hissed. "Don't expect to be saved by one of your nights next time. I'll end it, and if you're knights try to stop me, then I'll kill them in the process. The next time you see me will be the beginning of the last chapter of your life's story. Get ready to die." With that, she vanished, and I saw Sasame appearing where she was moments before.
"Kagome!" he exclaimed, running over and grabbing my trembling shoulders. "Kagome, did she hurt you? Of course she hurt you, what am I talking about? Where's the wound?"
I whimpered and let my shoulders sag, lowering my head. I felt the blood gushing from the reopened wound but I ignored it.
"...Kagome...?" he whispered softly and I flinched. He gently took my chin and raised it so I looked straight at him. My eyes widened in horror when I saw his silver/white hair and I shoved him away.
"No..." I whispered, shaking my head. "Leave me alone..." He got back up, looking down at me with confusion on his face. "...leave me alone..."
"Kagome, its me" he reasoned, stepping closer and I cowered. Stopping, he looked behind himself to see Sesshoumaru. "What's wrong with her...?" he asked and Sesshoumaru thought for a while before answering.
"Fenrir has awakened her memories again. This time, though, she's in an even worse state than before. Your silver hair reminds her of Inuyasha. He my half brother, her former love, and her guard during the shard hunt. He was a traitor to the very last moment of his life, caring more about the wish he wanted for the jewel than Kagome's own feelings and well-being."
"So she sees him in me..." Sasame whispered and Sesshoumaru nodded. I knew it was true, too. I saw Inuyasha in Sasame every time I looked at him... his hair was the only reason...
----Sasame----
Looking back at Kagome, I saw her slumped shoulders, her slightly limp body... she looked so... defeated... Ignoring what Sesshoumaru said, I walked over to her and saw the look of horror on her face.
"Get away from me..." she whimpered.
"Kagome. Look at me and look at me well" I commanded, annoyed that she found me so similar to that... that... thing, whatever 'thing' was... She refused and I grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me. I was surprised when I felt a drop of liquid on my thumb. She squirmed out of my grasp and moved her head to the side, not looking at me again. I sighed and sat down, staring at her and the reddening shirt she wore. "Do I really look like that dog demon?" I asked and she slowly shook her head. "Then how can you possibly mistake me for him?"
She pointed at the top of my head and knew she was talking about my hair. Sighing again, I looked around and yanked the blanket off her bed, placing it on top of my head.
"Better?" I asked and she looked at me. My heart ached at the look in her eyes, they were dull and held no life, but the moment she saw the blanket on my head, she gave a shaky laugh.
"...yes..." she whispered and I grabbed her, careful of her scab, and pulled her closer. I grabbed a damp towel that Sesshoumaru had sneaked in and slowly lifted her shirt. I began to clean the wound for her, occasionally glancing at her face, and saw that she didn't show any pain other than a small grimace here and there.
"You're used to this..." I commented and she lowered her eyes. "You're much stronger than I thought you would be..."
She shook her head, not agreeing. "I can't even protect myself from Fenrir... I'm a weak and horrible miko..."
"I'm not talking about physical strength, Kagome, I'm talking about willpo-"
"I have no strength, Sasame... I've given up" she interrupted and I stopped, setting the towel down and picking up the bandages. I began to wrap it and didn't speak again until I was almost done with the bandaging. There was a long silence where none of us spoke at all.
"Have you given up all hope?" I asked softly and Kagome shut her eyes. "Have you given up on life?"
"...I have no reason to live..." she replied softly and I groaned.
"Don't say that..."
"I'm just telling the truth..."
"No reasons at all?"
"None."
"What about Sesshoumaru?"
"He's strong enough on his own, he'll survive."
"The rest of the people?"
"What's the point? They're all going to die anyways."
"Us Knights?"
"You can defeat Fenrir by yourselves, I'm just a burden right now."
"Me?" I asked softly and her eyes snapped open in surprise. She dropped her gaze and turned mute, not wanting to respond. "Answer..." I pleaded softly but she turned away. I stared at the ground waiting for her to speak. I would be patient. I wanted the answer now, even if it hurt me.
To Be Continued...