"Yep, I'm okay."
In that moment, when her heart and body were in charge Emma truly was okay. She was more than okay, she was fabulous! Her body was flush with excitement, every inch of her body begged to be touched, caressed, kissed, licked . . . anything that would keep her feeling like this.
Will's arms were wrapped securely around her waist, his nose nuzzled into that perfect spot where Emma's collarbone met her shoulder. A location so perfect, Will would swear it was designed solely for him. He peppered light kisses up her neck, and tenderly grazed his teeth at her ear lobe. The sensation sent chills through Emma's body, the feel of his warm breath on her skin tickled so intensely she squirmed with delight. Never before had she experienced a sensation that made her ache for more and also cause her to squirm in escape at the same time. She gently bent her body at the hips, causing her backside to grind gently against Will's body eliminating even the smallest spaces between them. She rolled her neck to the side silently begging for more kisses along her neck and collarbone, when a loud growl broke the silence. Will squirmed silently and moved one arm to his stomach, a failed attempt to stifle his obvious hunger pangs. Another rumble escaped as his body betrayed him further.
"Hungry?" Emma remarked stifling a giggle.
"No" Will groaned as he ravaged her neck with kisses.
"Will!" Emma squealed as she turned to face him.
"Yes you are. Come on, we can't have you starving."
Emma placed a quick kiss to his nose and rolled out of bed.
Upon standing, Emma's mind took stock of the events that had transpired and suddenly, she felt so exposed. An odd feeling considering she was still fully clothed. In fact the only article of clothing to have left her body were her Mary Janes sitting in the entryway. She stood there in a daze as her heart and mind dueled to resolve the conflict. Feelings of excitement and shame, lust and guilt, desire and chastity battled leaving Emma motionless. Simply stunned.
She flinched involuntarily when Will came up behind her and whispered in her ear.
"Are you okay Em?"
"Yes, yes, of course I'm okay. Let's make dinner."
Emma pulled from Will's gentle hold and made haste toward the kitchen. Her body and mind on edge, Emma was determined to get through this evening without making a fool of herself.
Reaching the kitchen, Emma scrubbed each tomato under the tap with a precision Will hadn't seen since her grape polishing days. She reached for the knife to begin slicing them, but instead clumsily knocked it to the ground in her jitteriness.
Will swooped in, handing Emma a glass of Chianti and tugged her gently by the arm toward the bench of the breakfast nook.
"Em? Let me cook."
One glass of Chianti turned into two as Will zipped around the kitchen slicing vegetables, preparing onions and garlic to sauté and bringing water to a boil for the perfect pasta al dente.
"Do you want to talk?" Will prodded gently, unsure of how to proceed.
"No."
"I'm fine Will, I promise. It's just a lot of feelings to process. I've . . . um . . . never
done that . . . Really Will, I just need some time to wrap my head around it."
Emma's face grew flush with embarrassment as her nose scrunched slightly and her eyes squinted, displaying a look of inquiry. A look that silently asked if he understood what she was trying to say and he did.
"Can we . . . uhh . . . talk about something else?" She pleaded, biting the bottom corner of her lip in uncertainty.
"Of course. How about some Bruschetta while we're waiting on dinner?"
The remainder of the dinner preparations was filled with small talk and giggles as the pair found a comfortable niche of chit chat. Upcoming community events peppered in with jokes about Sue's closet full of tracksuits and proper Flo-bee maintenance.
The evening came to an end as the last buckle on Emma's Mary Janes was fastened. Will pulled Emma into the warm cocoon of his arms and held her firmly.
"You know I love you right?"
He could feel her head nod as she buried it deeper into his shoulder, inhaling deeply, Emma allowed herself to relax into his embrace.
"Emma? I mean it, I love you. No pressure. We don't have to do that ag . . ."
"No." Emma interrupted. "We are definitely doing that again!" She had lost count of how many times her face had taken on a rosy bloom that evening as she felt her cheeks become flush yet again.
Will let out a chuckle as he gave Emma a kiss goodnight.
-XXX-
Alone with her thoughts as she maneuvered her car toward her vacant condo, Emma analyzed the evening's events. She felt liberated. Empowered. Bold. She had initiated the heated make out session and WOW! It had felt so good, the rubbing and the rocking, and the kissing and touching. It was exhilarating. Why was she feeling so anxious? Her mind flashed back to Sunday school classes of her youth.
1 Corinthians 6:18
"Every other sin that a man may commit is outside his body, but he that practices fornication is sinning against his own body."
The verse had been drilled into her head for as long as she could remember during the Sundays of her youth.
Emma had forgotten how freeing and divine an orgasm could be. A frequent relaxation tool of her high strung, anxious youth, the practice was cut short upon her mother's discovery. Memories flooded Emma as she recalled the shame and embarrassment of her mother consulting with the pastor and the lectures and lessons that followed.
"Your body is a holy temple." in combination with words like "nasty," "repulsive," and "filthy."
"Filthy," that was the one that finally got to her. Her mysophobic self, mortified that her actions could be so dirty. For weeks she tried to scrub the guilt from her body during her three daily showers.
Truth be told, as an adult, Emma was what you would call a Christmas and Easter Christian. Even though she did not pledge her devotion each Sunday, she had trouble shedding the strict lessons of her childhood. As an adult, Emma had deviated from her parents church. She believed in a loving God and she could not believe that her God would set the rules in opposition . . . she hadn't HAD sex, but what she had done . . . it felt good. Why wouldn't God want her to enjoy the sensations of her body? It made sense in her head. Her heart and body had been sold hours ago. So why was she still feeling so culpable?
"It's okay," she told herself. "I'm okay, I didn't do anything wrong. I enjoyed an evening with the man I love." She recited these things as she parked her Volvo, mindful of her breathing. She continued the chant as she approached the lobby elevator and by the time she had reached her condo, she was nearly convinced.
-XXX-
A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. I struggled with this chapter because I was trying really hard to make that Emma's first orgasm. But truth be told, I couldn't, because I just don't believe it to be true. I think, from a young age, we as humans know what feels good to our bodies long before we are even able to realize that those sensations are sexual. We don't feel shame in those sensations until we gain reaction from others as they shape us morally. I hope I didn't offend anyone, just a little insight as to where I'm coming from.