Looking at the grey lump in my hand, I quickly dumped it into the trash can. Ick. I'd noticed the sink was slightly off color while I was brushing my teeth and thought I'd wipe it down with the Kleenex in my hand. Jason's whole bathroom can use a thorough scrubbing. Actually the whole house looked like it needed a decent cleaning. Jason never had a partner stay here long enough to have an effect on the place. The house wasn't a pig sty; Jason was a relatively neat person, but there are just some details men tend to miss. The place was really a bachelor pad, totally devoid of a woman's touch. It didn't seem like Crystal had any interest in touching up the place when she was around.

Jason had already pulled out the sofa bed for me and on top were pillows and a blanket. Bless him. He's really trying hard to get back on my good side. In my heart of hearts I had already forgiven him when I saw him on bedside duty after my "car accident". When you are most vulnerable, nothing could replace having family by your side. When we were young, Jason had always been the popular kid with the freak sister. Kids wouldn't tease me when Jason's around, but of course it resumed as soon as he was out of the room. He never did anything overt to protect me because the teasing wouldn't happen when he's there, but when he knew I had a rough day he would always do something nice; like share his Pop Rocks with me on our way home. Our social dichotomy widened when we reached high school and Jason became the star quarterback. He was constantly surrounded by friends and girls and he basked in the limelight. Most of the school conveniently forgot we were even related. Jason tried to pull me into his social circles by setting me up with guys he thought were alright from his football team. Well, we all know how well those dates turned out. I didn't want to be in the popular or the "cool" group nor had I ever asked, but it was Jason's way of being nice. He may have his faults, but when it was him that I saw by my bedside, I was relieved I was in the company of kin whom I could trust.

As I lay myself down to sleep, my eyes rested Jason's trophy table. Right there next to one of his trophies was a picture of him and Crystal on their wedding day; all smiles. Pictures can be so deceiving. I remember watching on the news a few years ago and there was a man who was pleading on TV for the safe return of his abducted wife. Family portraits, vacation and wedding pictures of them were all over the media portraying what happy normal people they were and didn't deserve any kind of misfortune. A week later, the police found out the husband was the one who shot his wife, poured lye over the body and buried it in their own backyard. The monster was a wife beater since day one. "Like how Crystal never intended to keep her vows with Jason since day one." I said to myself. My eyes wandered over to the left side of the table where I noticed some white planks of wood were wedged between the trophy table and the wall. Upon closer inspection I saw it were the components of crib. It really saddened me at the thought that after so many miscarriages it seems like Crystal may have finally succeeded in becoming a mother. This would've been the baby's room. I shouldn't be so cynical about my memory of her, becoming a mother might've changed Crystal. No-one deserved the fate that she had. While I laid there thinking about what could've been, Jason stuck his head in the door.

"Hey sis, you need help with paying for smokin' the place tomorrow? I can help you some if you need it." He's really pulling all the stops to get back on my good side. Looking around the room and taking into account what Jason has gone through for the last few months, I felt incredibly selfish. I sat up, scooted over to the left side and patted the right side of the bed for him to come over and sit with me. Jason walked over slightly puzzled as he didn't know what to expect.

"Thanks brother, but how are you? How're you holding up?" I nodded towards the wedding photo.

"Yeah I'm ok I guess." Men. You really have to draw it out of them sometimes.

"Do you miss her?" I made a slight head gesture towards the photo again. I'm wary of saying Crystal's name out loud. For one she never felt like a sister-in-law to me. Secondly, I felt that by saying her name it would solidify Crystal and the baby's presence in the room, making it harder on Jason. I guess as humans we are bound by our own kind of magic.

Jason's eyes swept down to his hands and replied "I think I miss her in the sense, I wish she was still around. She doesn't have to be with me, just not have what happened to her happen. You know. If she was still around and living in Hot Shot or with someone else. I'd be okay with that. So sometimes when I feel low about it I just pretend she ran away with some low life varmint and I'm here by myself." He started cracking his knuckles then suddenly stopped. "I wish I got to see the baby though."

I felt something sour at the back of my throat and reached over to hug him. Is it possible? Jason Stackhouse is capable of selfless love? I've always known that Jason was more infatuated with Crystal than she was with him and I always suspected it had something to do with her being two natured and his fascination with the Hot Shot community. Has infatuation evolved into genuine love? Apparently so.

"Crystal was lucky to have had your love, whether she realized it or not she was extremely fortunate for that. There are many of us running around not even sure of who we love." I sighed.

"What in-carnation are you going on about not knowing who you love? What's been happening with you Sookie? I've been meaning to ask you but there's just been so much going recently. I know Bill was with that real estate woman Pumphrey, then there was that one I got the Wal-Mart clothes for, but then you show up at my wedding with John Quinn! You sound mighty miserable for someone being on a hot streak."

I just realized how out of touch Jason and I were. Not that we were ever peas in a pod, but when Gran was around he would come over for lunch or dinner once in a while and we'd spend some time together as a family. Without Gran, we've just been increasingly centered on our own lives. I never understood how people from the city could just see their siblings once or twice a year and now Jason and I are heading in the same direction when we're living in a town as small as Bon Temps. Even though he says otherwise, Jason had felt left out about not being involved with Niall and the fairy side of the family. I don't think I should ostracize him any more than he had been already. I sure as hell should tell him about being married in the "vampiric sense" to Eric. Especially since Jason is a supe now, word would travel sooner or later. How do I even begin to tell him what's going on in my life?

"Do you remember Eric? The one you met last year around New Years?"

"The tall blond one, yes?"

"I sort of have a thing going on with him."

"What sort of thing Sook?"

"It's kind of like how you and Crystal were married in a werepanther ceremony - Eric and I are married in a vampire ceremonial sense -" I put my hand up to stop him from interrupting. "It gets more complicated. In addition to that we have a blood bond. The bond is really confusing me about how I feel about Eric. The situation would be like if you knew that whatever feelings you had for Crystal was the result of - something like a love potion, you don't know how strong the love potion is or how it works exactly, but it's there, working it's magic and pulling you two together."

Jason's eyes widened "Why the hell would Crystal do that? Is that why I'm finding it so hard to get over her? Can anyone cast a spell like that? I'm in a world of trouble if it is."

I was hoping just to cut to the chase about the bond and marriage. The long version it is then.

"Calm down Jason Stackhouse, I'm saying nothing of the sort! I'm just trying to explain to you the bond I have with Eric." Into the details I went; from my first impressions of Eric, his staking of Long Shadow, being tricked into sucking out the bullet on his shoulder, the maenad at the orgy, Bill's infidelity, Eric taking care of me after I was staked at Club Dead, exchanging blood again to save Bill, finding Eric by the road with no memory and the days that followed. When I got to this part, I finally had to admit to myself and coincidentally to Jason as well, that I was heartbroken when Eric woke up and forgot everything.

Heartbroken is actually an understatement. I know it was stupid of me, but I had the tiniest glimmer of hope that somehow, when the curse was broken Eric would be changed by the time we had together. The power hungry, self centered survivalist would remember how he could've almost loved me. But he didn't.

I explained to Jason. "It was like the person you loved had died, but no-one knew you loved him. Like what you had with him never existed; no condolences, no shoulder to cry on, nothing sentimental to hold on to." I remembered a scene I saw in a movie where the mistress of a man who died hid in the trees by the cemetery to attend his funeral. I identified with that but it was even worse. "I didn't even have the closure of a funeral but instead I had the old Eric strutting around goading me for details of whether or not we had sex, so he could check that box off his to do list or something. He kept bugging me like it was a game. When I finally had to tell him for a favor, it didn't make a damn difference to him. I couldn't even hate him for his indifference, it wasn't his fault! It's like my lover died but he had an evil twin, taunting me all the time. Every time I saw Eric afterwards was like ripping a wound open to pour salt on it. It hurt each and every time."

"Geez Sook, that sounds rough. Why didn't you tell anyone?" Jason had put an arm around me and gave it a little squeeze.

"What can I say? I got done over by another vampire again? It was so complicated I don't think anyone wants to be burdened with my troubles when there's so much going on with everyone else's lives. It was also so painful that I didn't want to rehash it with anyone again anyway." I lowered my head. This was the first time I had the occasion to articulate what I felt about my fling with Eric. "But then I met Quinn. You know the one you met at my place and my date at your wedding? Things started off pretty well with Quinn and I hoped I could finally move on from Eric."

"I've seen some of his old fights you know! Calvin's got them on VCR." Jason jumped up excitedly, his fingers curled and elbows up like he was ready to pounce someone. "John Quinn makes Mike Tyson look like a tame puppy. Did you ever see him in his form?" Jason seems to had fit into the supe world like a glove and assimilated successfully into the culture that he knew of their celebrities as well. Either that or I never got the full scope of how big of a deal Quinn really was.

"I saw Quinn as a tiger several times..." recounting in my head how many times exactly... I saw him half turned before Bill and Quinn knocked me out a couple of months back. Does that count?

"Wow." Jason was truly in awe. "What happened to you guys?"

"At the beginning he was just too busy, I felt great about him but it was like trying to pin down a cloud. He would show up and we'd have a great time and then he'd be busy for weeks and hardly had enough time for a phone call. We were supposed to spend time together after Rhodes..." I went into telling Jason about Hadley, Sophie Anne and Andre; being kidnapped by the Pelts and Eric finding me through the bond, how I came into service of Sophie Anne in Rhodes, about the soda can bomb and Eric and Quinn coming to my rescue. I finally had to tell about the final blood exchange that sealed the blood bond permanently. How happy it made me feel when we danced, even though Quinn was my boyfriend. Then the nasty stuff; the hotel blowing u, calling Quinn and his sister, getting Eric and Pam out by the skin of our teeth and finding Bill and Quinn in the rubble. How Sophie Anne's already volatile position took a turn for the worse with the death of Andre and the loss of her legs which ultimately lead to the Nevada takeover, Victor Madden and crew being at my doorstep, the betrayal of John Quinn and our subsequent break-up.

"Is the bond thingy what makes you married to Eric?" Interjected Jason.

"No. It just tags me as his.. you know.. girl." Property, more like. I just didn't want to put myself down. "Eric made this whole big show of me giving him the ceremonial knife in front of Victor. He's the vampire that was part of the takeover, this is so that the Nevada vamps won't try to separate us or use me for their purposes. I didn't know what I was doing when I handed him the knife in the box though."

"And now you're married to him."

"It's so complicated."

"Not really."

"Excuse me?!" I turned my head around so quickly I think I got whiplash. "Of all the nerve Jason Stackhouse! Don't you patronize me!"

"Sook, I'm only telling you as it is. Can you calm down and listen for a minute? I'm not patronizing you. I just know you. That's all. It seems to me like you're running away like old times. Remember I used to set you up with guys from my football team? Those were pretty stand-up guys, but I think you were insecure, you felt that they were out of your league so you just ran."

"That is NOT the case and you know so, you know about my disability!" I was furious. I knew talking to Jason is a mistake. Now I'm so angry I won't be able to sleep until dawn!

"I know about - the thing you can do. I don't think that's the case at all. You were friends with JB right? I think he thought about you like any other hot blooded male out there. Why can you tolerate him and be friends and not other people?"

"You know JB's head would echo if you knock on it!" I objected.

"That's beside the point Sook! You didn't even attempt to be friendly with the guys I introduced you to back in school. I know JB's as smart as a two by four but that has nothing to do with whether or not you could read or hear or whatever you do with people's heads. It's because JB was the school dunce, you felt it was safe to be friends with him. Same with this Eric vamp. From what I can tell, Eric is kind of like a jock amongst vamps. I've seen what he looks like sister! Believe me, if he was working for the Queen of Louisiana as you say and was valuable enough to be the only one left alive in that takeover, he must be doing pretty well for himself. Chicks dig the rich and handsome thing, I of all people know all about that. I think you don't feel like you're on the same playing field as this guy, it scares you and you just want to run away like you always do."

I haven't the foggiest idea where Jason gets in his head that he's rich and handsome! Jason chose this moment to give himself a self congratulatory smirk. Sometimes I just want to wring his neck. Maybe I should let him know about his fairy blood having something to do with his popularity. Take him down a notch or two, but knowing Jason, he'll be able to thoroughly convince himself that it wasn't the case and totally forget about what I told him. Narcissism is the best shield a human can have against reality.

"That's not true. I went out with Bill. He had money too." I know what Jason was getting at and Bill was a weak defense. I just don't want him to be right!

"Aw Sook, you're just grasping at straws here. You said yourself that Bill worked for Eric and he only did so after you were dating him. Maybe he had money but he wasn't... what's that term? An Alpha male - that's it! VB only got attention around here because he's a vamp, if he was a human I don't think the ladies would've even looked at him if I was in the room."

There's that Goddamn smirk again. That's not true. Bill is the perfect Southern gentleman and I think he's handsome. I have to admit that Bill isn't an alpha male amongst vamps. Far from it.

"Quinn's an alpha male! Even you have to admit that!"

"You had no idea who he was when you met John Quinn, did ya?"

"Hmmph." I have no words.

"Listen Sookie, you can make up any excuse you want; the blood bond, his politics, his money or even that he just wants to use you for sex! It's all excuses! I can tell you were smitten with him when you said you asked him to go to that orgy with you when Bill wasn't around. Seriously Sook! There were a whole bunch of people you could've asked to help you. You had JB, Sam and even Hoyt! All these guys you trust and knew for years but you went and called the vampire Sheriff Eric who you just met? You trusted a vampire to chaperone you at an orgy? Admit it Sook, you must've at least wanted a chance to see him naked!"

I grabbed a pillow and started whacking Jason. "Your. Mind. Belongs. In. The. Sewer!" When I got that out of my system, Jason picked up right where he left off.

"C'mon Sis don't be shy. It's going both ways. From what you said about Sophie Anne, vampires heal but it hurts right? How many bullets did this guy take for you? Two or three?"

"Three." He stood in front of Debbie Pelt's bullet when he thought I was the only thing in his world, but I didn't want to interrupt Jason. He was on a roll and I was starting to feel tired.

"Any man that would go through the pain of getting shot three times for you isn't just playin' Sook. Even if he knew he would heal. Same goes for you too you know! Running around saving vampires when a building is blowing up! You'd give Gran a heart attack if she was still alive! Jesus Sook!" Jason took a deep breath and continued. "But look at who you went back for? Not Quinn, not Bill but Eric. I know you'll have your excuses again; Quinn could take care of himself during the day, you didn't know where Bill's room is, blah blah blah. Who was Eric to you anyway? If you didn't want to be bound to him why didn't you just let fate run it's course? Instead you go and risked your life for him Sook! Your actions already speak for themselves." He turned around to look at me straight in the eye. "You know what? I think you're spoilt."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." It must be getting late, I'm too tired to be indignant with Jason's discord.

"Well you've been going through life knowing exactly what everyone thinks about you and you've been playing it safe the whole time. Only surrounding yourself with people who you know you could handle. You started dating Bill, because you couldn't hear him and he was someone in your comfort zone. In the end he broke your heart and I'm sorry. It seems to me this guy Eric is pulling out all the stops to rope you in and you just can't take that leap of faith because you're afraid to be rejected. It's about time you have to try to figure things out like the rest of us. You liked being with vamps because you can't hear them, well now you got what you want and you have to take the whole package."

Tired as I was, I knew I never thought about it like this before. Here I was going through life wishing I didn't have this disability. I never realized that because of my disability that I have been able to control the type of company I keep and shield myself from harm. It never occurred to me the amount of faith normal people have to have with each other to have relationships of any kind. I always knew of the intentions of people around me. Sometimes before they knew it themselves.

Jason stood up and started towards the bedroom door. "Just think about what I said Sook. For a smart girl you are so caught up in yourself sometimes. It's late and you and I have to be up and bright and early tomorrow morning. Get some sleep." Just before he closed the door Jason stuck his head back in and said "You know, I don't regret it."

"Regret what Jason?" I felt dazed, either from being exhausted or what seems like my first real conversation with my brother in my life.

"Even when you said it to my face that Crystal didn't mean to keep her vows on our wedding. I was hoping that the baby and I could change her mind. Even though things turned out the way they did, there was a time I was happy with her. I don't regret our time together you know."

"Thanks brother, I'll take your advice to heart. Goodnight"

"Night."

I kept staring at the door waiting to see if the four horsemen will come charging through.

Because it had to be a sign of the apocalypse when I'm getting relationship advice from Jason Stackhouse – and I'm afraid it actually makes sense.

A/N: First and foremost - Thanks for reading!

This chapter is particularly long because let's face it, Sookie needs someone tell her as it is ;)

Are you surprised that I picked Jason to do it? There maybe many objections to my character choice. However, I've found that if a player is being honest with you, they offer the most analytical and honest relationship advice. Though we may all have our doubts about book Jason, Ryan Kwanten's portrayal of him in TB has warmed me up to the character. So I'm cutting him some slack and giving him the chance to be the good guy this time.

On a separate note! Have you had the chance to read my one-shot Left Behind? The story has had the honor to be selected as a finalist for the Eric and his Great Pumpkin contest. Please take the time to read all the fabulous stories there and cast your vote. Hopefully you'll still vote for yours truly :)

As always, please leave your thoughts and comments. I love to reading them. Even when you're pointing out any mistakes or making criticisms.