Victoria's Point of View
"Not there!" I shrieked, "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
"I've never done this before…" said Dean Thomas, apologetically.
"Ugh. Get your hand off of me!" I said as I pulled his hand up from my chamber of secrets. I took a deep breath and realized that, like flesh-eating slugs slowly devouring a pumpkin patch, haste had begun to consume me. This year at Hogwarts had taught me not only magic; it had also taught me to be insufferable, so very full of haste that the only person I hadn't alienated was Harry, whose own haste cushioned him from the haste of others. "I can't go on like this!" I said to a whimpering Dean, whose little auror was no longer standing to attention. "Something has to change!' I got up and headed for the stairs, determined to visit Snape in his dark, damp lair to find a solution for my grevious problem.
"Wait, Victoria!" shouted Dean.
"What?" I screeched.
"…You're naked." He said, trembling.
"I have bigger problems," I huffed, and burst down the stairs, oblivious to the stares of the second years huddled in the commons. Racing through the corridors, I finally found myself in the dark, long tunnel that extended to the potions classrooms. Torches on the walls pulsed with powerful flame and the damp, warm stones of the floor lay supine against my feet as I soldiered forward, gasping with determination, heaving and naked, towards Snape's office.
I didn't knock: this was too urgent. "Snape!" I cried, as I flung open his door, "I need a potion!"
"What sort of potion, my dear?" He cocked his eyebrow as he looked up at me, and slowly stood up and walked towards his large, spacious cauldron. "I can stir up just about anything you… desire."
"I need to cure my haste. I fear it's consuming me, and frankly, it's making it harder for me to get laid," I said.
"Grab the eye of newt," he said, sliding off his robes, revealing a black spandex leotard underneath.
I grabbed the eye of newt, the powdered unicorn horn, the feather of a bogbeast, the antenna of a blast-ended skrewt, and as we stirred, heaving our bodies to and fro above the bubbling water of the cauldron, I began to sweat, feeling great beads of salty liquid running down my neck, my spine, my buttocks, my thigh, dripping to the ground. "We're just missing one ingredient," said Snape.
"Which one?" I asked, as sweat dripped down my chest, my stomach, to my forbidden forest.
"Me," he said as he stepped towards me, placing his dry lips to my moist ones. I ripped off his leotard and ran my fingers through his greasy hair, pulling his saggy body towards me. As he squeezed my buttocks, I began to kiss his neck, his chest, his stomach, traveling downwards until I reaches his manliness. As I began to work my magic, he moaned like the bloody baron on his nightly patrol; primal, mournful, passionate. With one last spasm, he collapsed upon the ground and I spit into the cauldron, stirring one last time as it turned a bright magenta. "It's ready," he whispered.
I drank the potion in one large drought, and with an orgasmic shudder I felt it pierce my soul with the heat of a thousand burning suns. I ran triumphantly up the tunnels to the main hall, sweat drying with every leap. Suddenly, I collided with a red head, a gangly body, a fine wand, and I passed out.
When I woke up I was entangled with Ron, unconscious and yet still furious. I took my hand and stroked his head, softly kissed him on the cheek and then the lips, whispered into his ear, "Wake up, Ronny-Poo." He began to murmur and stir, and eventually opened his eyes.
"What the bloody hell just happened?" he said, stroking the growing lump on his head. Suddenly, he sat up, "Harry and Ginny did it!" he sobbed into my shoulder, "it's just a contest, Harry shouldn't have gone that far!"
"There, there," I said, patting his shoulder, "there's no need for haste. Who are you to stand in the way of love?"
"But she's my sister!" he shouted.
"But it's love, Ron! Glorious, beautiful, orgasmic love!" I smiled ear to ear as I said the word. Love. Love. I just needed more love in my life, I thought. "I know just what you need," I said, taking his hand.
I helped him up, and led him slowly to the quidditch pitch, my fingers wrapped in his, comforting him as we went. "You want to get back at Harry?" I asked, smiling and beaming my inner peace out to the world.
"Yes. How dare he mess with the Weasley family!" cried Ron.
I smiled in my wily way and led him up to the top of the commentary booth, overlooking all of the quidditch pitch. "Magnificus sorus!" I said as I pointed my wand at the speaker system normally used for the commentary during a heated quidditch game. "Now, for that revenge…" I kissed him passionately, letting my tongue enter his mouth and squirm like a rabid flobberworm, as he reciprocated, running his hands up and down my already naked body. As he kissed my breasts I raised his shirt off of him and began undoing his pants, pulling them off them with what wasn't, but could be easily confused for, haste. He picked me up and laid me flat on a bench, but before he could fit himself inside of me I pulled him down and clambered on top, "I'll take it from here". As he penetrated my hippogriff's lair I began to gyrate on top of him, moving my hands up and down his furry red chest. He grabbed my butt cheeks, pulling me hard with each thrust. With his legs clenched and his eyes rolling with ecstasy he began to moan and shout, screaming my name again and again. As we finally climaxed, he pulled me down towards him, kissing me roughly, drooling quite a bit, though I didn't mind.
When we finished, we walked to the edge of the booth and looked out. The sound had carried far; students faces filled the windows of the castle in our direction, the astronomy students had their telescopes pointed towards us, the divination students were trying to use their crystal balls for a closer glance, even the mermaids from the Black Lake were frothing up the waters as they popped their heads above the surface.
"He knows now, doesn't he?" asked Ron, putting his arms around me.
"Everyone does," I said with a smile. We heard a sound on the stairs and suddenly saw Professor McGonagall's head appear, as hasty as I had once been.
"Five points from Gryffindor!"