Church's Crusade #14: I before E, except after SMG

Tucker looked up as he heard the tank grinding up. The scene that met his eyes totally threw him. The tank was working and it was returning. What surprised him was the injured soldier, trussed at the hands and feet, hanging from the tank's cannon with a gag in his mouth. Tucker wandered over as the tank stopped and Church got out. He indicated the man suspended beside them.

"Sooo what's that about?"
Church pulled off his helmet then looked up, "Oh him? He and a couple of his friends tried to capture me while I was fixing the tank. Their dead now. Didn't take my warning." He reached up and casually cut the ropes holding the man up. He fell and landed with a thump on the top of the tank, gasping, before Church hauled him to his feet. Tucker looked at Church.

"So again, why did you bring him here?"

Church shrugged, "I figured he could give us some information. You know we could find out about what they are planning."

"Well, you picked a good time to do it,' said a new voice, 'Sarge just sent me over from the caves."

Church looked over at the approaching figure of Grif, "So when did you get back? Last I heard, you went psycho and tried to murder Tucker here."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Oh you must think I'm complaining. I'm not. If he dies then no one will make a move on my sister. If you like I'll lend you my pistol."

"Thanks, but we might need him later. So what does Sarge have to say?"

"Oh you know, he thinks you blues are horribly inferior, but he is working on a plan which will guarantee us victory and will no doubt result in my 'unfortunate' death. You know, the usual."

"Oh yeah, I think I got you. So have you met my squad?"

"What, you mean Tucker, Sister and Caboose? Yeah I've met them man. I am related to-"

"No I didn't mean blue team. I meant my squad." Church looked over to the base where Anna was sitting on guard duty, "Hey, Anna! Get the others and come over here. I got someone I want you to meet."

"Yes sir." Anna turned and walked back into the base.

Grif looked confused, "Sir? Have I missed something?"

"Oh yeah, I'm their sergeant. A lot has changed."

"You're a sergeant?' said Grif, 'There are two Sarge's?"

"That's right,' said Anna as her and the rest of the squad walked over, 'I'm his corporal Annabelle Sharpe and these are Privates Stevens and Rourke. And judging by the colour of your armour, you would be Grif. Am I right?"

"Yeah that's right,' Grif turned to Church, 'Man what else has changed since I was last here. Has Tucker gone celibate and Caboose become a brain surgeon."

"Hey I am just as ready as ever and Caboose is just as stupid. They're facts of life."

"I don't think Caboose is stupid,' said Anna, 'He's actually kind of sweet."

Tucker stared at her for a moment then threw his hands up in the air, "I don't believe this! What is going on here? I mean why is it always Caboose of all people? Why not me? Why not ME?"

"Can we get back to the business at hand please?' said Church turning back to Grif, 'So how are you guys doing, you know, equipment wise?"

"Well we managed to get the Puma and Sarge's Mongoose into the caves, as well as most of our ammunition. As far as I know you guys still have the hover bike. We still have about 20 rockets and other explosives. However these guys are well equipped and have far more men than we do. We probably don't stand a chance."

"Yes, well we have been working to strengthen our defences here. Let me show you what we have been building on top of the base."

Church turned around and started towards the base. This was fortunate because at this point, someone tried to shoot him in the head…

The characters Church, Caboose, Tucker, Simmons, Sarge, Grif, Sister, Donut and Doc are owned by Rooster Teeth Productions.