A/N: Sorry I'm late - I am experiencing a huge jetlag since returning from my vacation in NYC, so it took me some time to find my writing rhythm again. I am not entirely happy with how this chapter turned out, but I'll let you be the judge. Thanks for staying with me, and I'll try to be faster next time :)

"Oh, shit!" John muttered when the smell of burnt toast hit his nostrils. Dropping the handful of knives and forks he'd been holding onto the kitchen table, he jumped towards the counter, where the toaster was happily ruining his plans for a romantic breakfast. He took the slices of toast out, swearing again when they scorched the tips of his fingers. No sooner had he dropped them on the counter, than a hissing sound drew his attention to the stove, where he'd set a pot of eggs to boil.

He let out a long groan when he found the water bubbling over the edge and onto the burner. Next time, he'd just get breakfast from the place around the corner again, he decided as he grabbed a potholder and lifted the pot off the stove. He sighed when he put the pot in the sink, miserably eyeing the eggs. The shells had cracked, leaving strands of eggwhite and yolk to come squeezing out.

"What's going on over there?" Ashley's amused voice came from behind him. He'd put her on speakerphone when her call came in, foolishly thinking he could talk to her and prepare breakfast at the same time.

"Um, sorry, gotta go. I have an egg emergency on my hands. Bye." John broke the connection and scowled at the phone. He just knew that if Ashley hadn't called, he would have aced this breakfast. And now...

"Good morning…?"

John turned to find Alicia standing in the doorway. He had never thought of her as adorable of girlish, but that was exactly how she looked right now, scrunching up her nose at the smell of his burnt toast. She was wearing his shirt from the day before, and her hair looked tousled. The sight made him smile.

"Hey," he said, "Did I wake you?" He hoped not. She needed her sleep. She had been so tired yesterday after her outburst, he hadn't wanted her to drive home all by herself. She'd tried to tell him she was fine, but he'd been able to convince her to stay. They'd ordered a pizza and watched a movie until she had fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder. It had been a good night.

"No, that's okay…" She looked around the kitchen. "Who were you talking to?"

"Ashley called. You can blame her for messing up a nice breakfast." John chuckled.

"Ashley?" Alicia tensed up. "What did she want?"

He held back a sigh. "Relax, Alicia. She just called to give me an update on Mr. Rhodes. He's doing better."

"That's good news," she said, but she sounded distracted and her eyes took on a faraway look.

John had just opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong, when he almost literally saw something click in her mind. "What is it?" he asked.

"I was just thinking... You know what else Peter told me yesterday?" She barely gave him time to shake his head before continuing, "That he didn't leak the story about me and Will. Which made me wonder who did."

"So you believe him?"

"I didn't at first, but the only reason he threatened to leak the story in the first place was because of the divorce. But now Ramona is pregnant and he wants to do the right thing by divorcing me and marrying her. So Peter spilling the beans on Will and me doesn't make any sense anymore and... What?" She frowned at him.

"Ramona's pregnant?" Wow, John thought when she gave him a curt, almost impatient, nod. That must have felt like a slap in the face to her, especially with the other illegitimate daughter in the mix too. He tried to think of something to say, something to show her his support, but before he could come up with anything, Alicia was talking again.

"As I was saying, it doesn't make any sense that Peter would go to the press. But then who did? And now I'm thinking..." She raised her eyebrows at him. "Do you trust Ashley?"

"Why?" But as soon as he asked, he knew where she was going. "You think Ashley leaked the story?" He couldn't keep the hint of disbelief out of his voice. "Alicia, I know you don't like her, but..."

"No, you don't understand. Whether I like her or not is not the issue here. The problem is I don't know her. You do. So I ask again, do you trust her?"

Did he? John thought back to the first time he'd met Ashley. There had been something secretive about her then, but that was because she didn't want him or anyone else to know she was gay. Or was there more to it than that? But how could there be? Ashley lived in New York, she had just come out here for the gala. The only reason she was still here was because of her grandfather. So how would she even have known about Alicia and Will? And if she did know, what would she win by blabbing?

"Give me your phone," Alicia interrupted his reflections, her tone all business now.

"What? Why?" John asked as he retrieved the phone from the table and unlocked it with his thumb.

"Because I left mine on my coffee table at home." She took the device from him.

"No, I mean, who are you calling?"

"Peter. He and I need to tell the kids about the divorce before they find out from the press. And since Ashley knows about you and me, we may not have a lot of time. So we need to do it today." She started tapping on the screen.

"Alicia, I really don't think Ashley would..."

"But you're not sure."

John sighed. His gut told him Ashley could probably be trusted, but he knew that wouldn't be enough for Alicia. Hell, if he were in her shoes, it probably wouldn't be enough for him either. But it still stung a little that she didn't seem to trust his judgment as much as she had during her campaign anymore.

"Peter, it's me," he heard her say into the phone. "No, I'm at..." her eyes briefly met his before she dropped her gaze to the floor and continued, "I'm not at home right now and forgot my phone..." She walked off into the living room, her voice fading as she went.

John went back to trying to salvage at least some their breakfast, but his earlier light mood was gone. He remembered the burst of joy he'd felt when she had admitted she was falling for him, and his lingering feeling of happiness when she'd curled up against him to watch a movie later. He also remembered what she'd told him when they were making love...

I do trust you.

Yet, for the second time in twenty-four hours, he now had the feeling that her trust in him was as thin as the film of ice that sometimes covered Lake Michigan after the first night of heavy frost. He understood that Peter had done a number on her, but he couldn't help but wonder how they were supposed to build a lasting relationship on a foundation as fragile as that.

§§§

When Alicia walked back into the kitchen, she found John putting toast on two plates. He'd put out some cream cheese and other spreads. He'd also made coffee, judging from the two steaming mugs set beside their plates. She smiled. He'd clearly been busy while she'd been on the phone, and there was something so sweet about him making her breakfast—something that Peter had never done... The smile faded as she sighed, because she knew she had to let him down.

He looked up at her then and gave her that adorable smile he seemed to have patented. "Hope you're not too hungry, this is the last of the toast," he said.

"Actually, I don't have time for breakfast..." She watched as his smile disappeared. "I'm sorry, John, it's just... Zach is going back to Georgetown tonight, so Peter and I have to tell the kids right away. They're on their way to my place right now."

"I understand." But he wasn't happy about it, she could see it in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "My life is just a bit of a mess right now."

His shoulders dropped as he sighed. "I know. It's okay, really. I just hoped to spend some more time with you today. Maybe talk some more."

"Well, maybe we'll have time later..." Alicia smiled, but held back a sigh of her own. "I'm just going to take a quick shower now and head home, okay?"

When he nodded, she all but fled to the shower. She turned on the water, shed his shirt and stepped under the spray. Then she just stood there, eyes closed, fists clenched, trying to beat back the anxiety bubbling up inside her.

Of course he wanted to talk more. She should have seen that coming after her emotional meltdown yesterday. Where had that even come from? She always made a point of keeping her grief completely private and the rest of her emotions carefully in check. That was who she was. Even during the best years of her marriage, she had never opened herself up to Peter the way she had to John yesterday. Not when they were talking or fighting, and not in the bedroom either. She knew she just wasn't capable of giving herself to a man without any reservation. That was more her mother's style. But John didn't know that – yet. How could he know? Their relationship had moved from purely professional to very personal only a couple of weeks ago. He would find out soon enough though, and then this relationship would probably start going the same route her marriage and her affair with Will had gone, and fast.

A knock on the bathroom door startled her out of her thoughts and she grabbed the nearest bottle of shampoo from the small shelf on the shower wall, remembering she was in a hurry. The door opened and John came in.

"Just bringing you a towel," he said, putting said item on the counter. He didn't look her way, he just turned and left again.

See? She thought, inhaling the familiar scent of his shampoo, there was already a sense of distance between them. All because of her. How long would it be before John realized that despite his sweet words yesterday, she really wasn't able to give him what he needed? And before he decided that what she was able to give, wasn't enough for him, like it hadn't been enough for Peter, or for Will?

Tears escaped from her eyes and mixed with the water on her face but not one single audible sob escaped her, as she quickly washed herself and wondered why she couldn't be more like the women she saw on TV, in those chick flicks she sometimes watched with Grace.

§§§

After Alicia had left, John decided to go to the hospital and talk to Ashley. He still thought she could be trusted to keep her mouth shut – after all, she had kept her own secret for years – but it wouldn't hurt to go talk to her, if only to be able to ease Alicia's mind. She had promised to call him when the talk with her family was over, although he couldn't go to her then, because Grace would still be there. She'd been vague about the next time they would see each other, and he feared she was shutting him out again.

As he drove to the hospital, his thoughts turned to how much he missed riding his motorcycle on sunny days like this one. He'd left the bike in Ohio when he came out here for Alicia's campaign and had been meaning to either have it delivered or go get it himself ever since, but he hadn't gotten around to it. Riding his bike helped him clear his mind and work out strategies to handle difficult situations, so it was no wonder that he wished he could ride it right now.

When he turned into the parking garage at the hospital, it hit him that there was no real reason why he couldn't. Well, not right this minute, of course, but Columbus, Ohio wasn't that far away. He only needed two days off – one to fly out there and make arrangements for his stuff to be sent to Chicago, and one to ride his bike back here. If he took the I-70 West and then the I-65 North, he could be back in town in six hours. Eight or nine if he took the scenic route.

As for Alicia, well, she needed time, didn't she? And he had promised to give it to her. He might as well do something useful while he waited.