The Akatsuki Stories
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to NO ONE! Except for Masashi Kishimoto.. lucky Japanese people..,.
Chapter XIV
Karoke!
Part I: Hey There Deidara
Out of complete idiocy, the Akatsuki, minus Leader, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Zetsu, decided to go to a karoke bar. Deidara and Sasori went to get drinks. Hidan was thrown out because he was bleeding too much. Itachi was torturing some guy who called him old man. And Tobi, was begging the owner to call him up.
" Pick Tobi! Tobi a good singer!" he yelled to the guy on stage.
" Fine then! Just shut up!" the guy yelled back.
Tobi walked up to the stage when he heard Deidara say something.
" WHAT'D YOU SAY OLD MAN!!??" yelled Dei.
The guy serving drinks told Sasori he had a nice girlfriend, Diedara overheard, and snapped the guy's neck. Dei was now being taken to a police car and was charged for murder.
" Tobi will save you sempai!" yelled Tobi from across the bar.
" Looks like Tobi's going to do something to ruin our reputation again." said Itachi.
The music began as Tobi began to sing a song he wrote.
Hey there, Deidara,
What's it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away, but girl
Tonight you look so pretty-
Tobi stopped to see a lit bottle of tequila headed for his face. On it was written ENJOY THE LIQUOR IDIOT! Tobi dodged it, but it hit the wall and started to burn down the bar. People were screaming and running out. Itachi just stood there, reading a book a certain silver-haired Jonin dropped while heading out...
" Itachi?" Sasori waved his hand in front of the Uchiha's face, which was tilted towards the book. Sasori looked down on the words and pictures, eyes growing wider. They just stood there, reading the book.
Hidan was celebrating the second Deidara-related death he was about to get. But the ambulance got there while he was cutting his cake. They put out the fire then Hidan snapped their necks for interrupting his celebration.
Tobi staggered out of the bar like a drunk hobo. As he staggered out of there, Kakashi passed by him. The jonin stormed inside and marched towards Itachi and Sasori. He grabbed the book out of his hands, starting to read. Surprisingly, Kakashi could read such a book without being messed up in the head. The two Akatsuki members looked over his shoulders, reading along with him. Kakashi looked puzzled.
" What're you-"
" Just turn the page!" interrupted Sasori.
" Yeah! We need to know what happens to the nurse!" added Itachi, both of them into the book more.
Deidara was being taken away and was handcuffed so his hand-mouths were kissing (Ew...). The officer confistated the clay and put it in the glove compartment. His partner, however, examined it and took some out. He rolled it into a ball and bounced it in his hands. As he was doing this, the ball heated up, turning red...
BOOOOOMM!!!
After the explosion, Deidara grabbed what was left of his clay and ran for the bar.
" Tobi...un..." he whispered silently, " I'll kill you..."
Meanwhile...
Hidan was ripping apart the karoke machine with his scythe as the three men standing over the book started crying.
" What's wrong?" asked Hidan, cleaning his scythe.
" The nurse left the doctor for his patient!" sobbed out Kakashi, crying so much his mask filled with tears.
Tobi ran into the room, back to normal and as cheerful as he ever was.
" Sempai's back!" he yelled excitedly.
Everyone's eyes drifted to an ash-covered Deidara, who was holding a ball of clay as big as a baseball. He walked towards Tobi and ripped out some clay from the ball.
" Tobi..." he began.
" Yes?" asked Tobi.
" This will only hurt for a second."
" How do you know?"
" You're right eye will explode, but I'm sure nothing glue can fix." Dei was now turning the clay to a thin stick. He hardened it and shoved it in Tobi's eye as he rammed the ball in his "sensitive" place.
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few moments after the explosion of C4, Deidara stood up. He looked around. At his feet was what was left of an Akatsuki robe and a now black orange mask. Deidara looked around again. He couldn't understand. Tobi was the kind of retard that could survive anything. Suddenly, something jumped on Deidara's back.
" SEMPAI!!" It yelled.
Deidara turned around to see a Tobi in his boxer shorts. But to his surprise, TOBI'S BODY WAS COMPLETELY BLACK! Hidan's head flew onto Dei's, knocking him out.
Tobi saw that Kakashi, Itachi, and Sasori were crying.
" Waz up?" he said.
" THE BOOK'S BEEN NUKED!!" cried out Itachi at once.
" W-we d-d-didn't even read the ending!" sobbed out Sasori.
" Don't worry book buddies!" shouted out Kakashi, " I shall run over to Barnes and Noble and get another!"
Kakashi poofed away.
" McDonald's?" asked Dei.
"Hn."
" I'm a puppet, but okay!"
" Tobi want Big Mac!"
" Is blood a topping on the burgers?"
" I want to come too!" answered Kakashi, popping out of nowhere with the book.
The five members and jonin walked over to a half-nuked McDonalds and entered. Ronald McDonald was standing on a stage, announcing what was to happen.
" Today is International Karoke Day! Any volunteers?"
" Me." said Kakashi, not looking up from the book.
" NOOO!" cried out the Akatsuki. It was total deja vu. Kakashi style.
To Be Continued...