A/N: Hi! I'm back! Anyone who bothered checking my profile (yeah right) knows that I've been on vacation since my last chapter. Heheh…Well, due to circumstances that I've pretty much been bringing upon myself, I'm going to officially slow posting the posting rate for this fic! *cue gasp*…Yes, you heard right. No more once a day postings. Deal with it. *^_~*;; It's either that or I can cut chapter length in half so they're more like EC & MMW length…

On another note, I think it's fair to say that the introductory section of this fic has officially ended at chapter 13. If you don't know what's going on by now, then….heheh…you have…some…reading to do…cuz there's kind of a dead giveaway in this chapter…*^_^*;;;; Enjoy the fic!

Summary: Can Ash escape from the doom that he can feel coming, and is it even coming in the first place?

Chapter 14
"Escape From Doom"

They'd finally gone to bed…I was forced to make small talk with them up until that point, and I didn't really get a chance to figure out what was going on. I did have plenty of time for that while I was waiting for them to fall asleep though…

I was tired from talking to them, tired from watching them sleep, tired from pretending to sleep, tired from not sleeping…but I couldn't sleep. Not until I figured out what the dreams were…

No, not dreams! Seeings. I have to remember that…

Well, that's one thing down. I know that these 'dreams' are actually Seeings…I know they're things that might have happened…

"Not might. Did…" The words came out of my mouth lower than a whisper, but I hadn't said anything…No, I didn't want to say anything…but I did…somehow…

In one reality or another…

Okay, so they did happen…and now I'm Seeing them…I don't know why though…

"Tonight."

What?!

"It comes tonight…"

What comes?

"You know."

I know…?

…I know…

……No…

I suddenly re-remembered where I had heard that before. Earlier, I'd been wondering when the dreams, seeings, whatever, would kill me…and I'd answered…Tonight…

Tonight…

"The dreams…"

Tonight in the dreams…

"It comes."

…Death…

I nodded.

In any other situation, I would've been seriously worried about my mental health, but that was the last thing on my mind.

Tonight…Tonight I'm going to die…

That was it. Finally, the cold, hard truth had come right up and smacked me in the face.

I was going to die.

But I don't wanna die…I don't want the dreams to kill me…There's gotta be another way…

…I waited, but no words escaped me.

I don't want the dreams to kill me…

…I won't let them. If I have to die tonight, then fine…but I'm not gonna let the dreams take me.

I checked to make sure Pikachu and Misty were still asleep, then carefully got out of bed. I bumped Pikachu slightly on my way up, but he just shifted slightly and mumbled to himself. I was a little shaky trying to stand, but it wasn't important. What was important was coming…

I left my room, trying to be as quiet as I could in opening and closing the door. In the hallway, the air was cool and still. Dark. No one else was awake.

I was extra careful going down the stairs. I still didn't feel very well, and I didn't want to fall and hurt myself and wake everyone up.

I'm going to die…I'm going to die anyway…

I thought about the memories that had come back to me that day. I still hadn't quite figured out what had happened right when I woke up…Those two Psychic attacks…There's no way they could've missed me…so…then……what happened when they hit…?

I couldn't remember for the life of me, but now that I thought about it, I could remember waking up afterwards…seeing Pikachu…hugging him…and then Mewtwo and Mew flew off with the clones…

            *  *  *

"Mewtwo, where are you going?"

To a place where my heart can learn what yours knows so well…What transpired here, I will always remember…but perhaps for you, these events are best forgotten…

            *  *  *

…So that's why no one remembers…

…but that still doesn't explain what happened…Maybe I just got knocked out…

I tried to convince myself that that's what happened, but the more I tried, the least likely it seemed. I'd blacked out before, and that…nothingness that I sensed wasn't the same…

…I guess I'll never know…

I saw that I had reached my destination…I stood outside the kitchen lit only by moonlight.

Now…Now it's time…We all have to die eventually…

I walked towards the counter. The floor was a little slippery underneath my socks.

I stopped by the sink to rest. I felt weak.

I know now…so I'm responsible for anything that happens because of that…

I closed my eyes and pulled myself along the counter.

I know what's going to happen next. Death…I can feel it…It's so strong…I can't let it…I can't…

I opened my eyes.

Here.

I looked down and pulled open the drawer below me. Inside was all of our silverware. I looked to the knives. I selected a fairly large one with a fairly smooth blade. I didn't want to used a ridged one…

…I'm sorry everyone…

I closed the drawer and looked at the knife. I forgot what kind it was. I never paid attention to those things. I would just eat.

I took a deep breath.

There's no turning back this time.

I held out my left wrist palm side up and pressed the blade against it without actually cutting my skin. It was very cold to the touch.

Don't think about it. Just cut, now!

In the time it took to blink, I know because I blinked, I slashed. When I felt the knife hit the two thin bones right at the skin, I felt my arm stiffen and the knife simply slid across the surface. I stared down at the thin red line I'd left on my wrist.

…Not dead yet… I realized and felt myself pale at the thought.

I set the knife against the line again.

I guess I have to try again…

"Pikapi!!"
'Ash!!'

I glanced to my left. Pikachu stood in the doorframe. He stared at me, aghast. I softened.

"Pikachu…Go back to sleep…" I said quietly.

"Pika!!"
'What are you doing!?'

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it…Just go to sleep, Pikachu…"

"Pikapi!!"
'Ash!!'

Pikachu…You don't need to see this…

I pointed back to the bedroom with the knife. "Don't stay here, Pikachu. You don't need to see this…"

Pikachu hopped towards me. I looked at it sadly and pressed the knife against me again.

"Go to sleep," I tried again.

"Pika…"
'No…'

I cut again. Deeper. Harder. It hurt more that time. I felt tears of pain sting my eyes. When I looked at Pikachu again, I saw the same thing in his.

"Pikachu…"
'Stop it…'

"…I can't…" I whispered.

"Piii…" Pikachu whispered back. Tiny sparks flew from his cheeks.
'Yes you can…'

I shook my head and carefully exchanged the knife from my right to my left. It was harder to grip with my left, but I managed somehow.

The line on my wrist had gotten deeper and thicker with the second cut. Now thin lines of red fell from it. They cooled quickly in the night air, chilling my skin.

"Pikachu!!"
'Don't do it!!'

I finally had no choice but to ignore him and slashed at my right wrist. I had to hit with all my strength, because I didn't have much left, especially in that arm. The knife tapped against the bone then almost sliced into it. Hitting at almost the same time was a quick Thundershock, but it was unable to stop me. I looked down and saw that I had two red lines now, one on each wrist. The one on my right was only about half as thick as the one on my left.

"Pikapi…!!" Pikachu cried, tears falling freely now.
'Ash…!!'

I'm not dead yet…Why not…?

"Ash!"

I looked up and staggered from that movement. Someone else in the doorway…

"…Mom…?" I asked softly.

Mom didn't stop like Pikachu did. She came right up to me. I tried to cut again before she got close, but she grabbed me by both arms and kept the two away from each other. She twisted my left slightly, and I dropped the knife with the new, sudden pain. It clattered on the floor and came to a rest.

I made myself look at her face. It was hard…to get my eyes to focus…and to identify where she was…I could feel myself crying…

She was holding my wrists very tightly, right across the lines. From what I could tell through the darkness, my tears, and the slowly fading reality, she looked like she wasn't sure whether to shout at me or cry too. I think she decided to do the second.

"Ash, what were you doing…?" she asked quietly.

I couldn't answer her. I just couldn't. I didn't want to.

"…Pikachu, go get the roll of bandages from the bathroom…" she said.

"…Pika."
'…Okay.'

I heard him scamper off to be replaced by more sets of footsteps and voices. I could recognize them if I wanted to, but I didn't…All I wanted…

I pressed myself against her chest and hugged her tightly. I didn't want to let go. I didn't care if anyone saw, and I knew they were. I didn't feel like Ash Ketchum, Pokémon Master. I didn't even feel like Ash Ketchum, the lost and confused Mew. Right then, I was Ash Ketchum, the scared little five-year-old who knew he'd messed up and didn't know how to make it right.

Her warmth was comforting. It was comfort that I desperately needed and was afraid to lose. It touched something deep inside of me that I'd thought I'd lost…

Pikachu came back with the bandages and Mom held me still so she could wrap them tightly around my wrists. The pressure added more pain and I wanted to fight against it but couldn't. Instead, I watched meekly as she snapped off the last bit of tape and secured it on my skin. I wanted her to hug me again. I needed that warmth, that comfort, that false sense of security that everything would be alright. I let myself fall into another embrace, and she held me close, comforting me with soft whispers and a gentle rocking.

The others hovered about, asking worried questions and tried to talk to me. I didn't listen to them. I couldn't even recognize them. Mom got them to leave me alone. I was glad. I wanted them to leave me alone. They were strangers to me.

"…Ash, are you alright?" Mom asked finally.

I shook my head no.

"…Why did you do that, honey?…Didn't it hurt?"

I nodded.

She hugged me tighter. "I don't want you to get hurt…"

…Too…late… I thought, trying to find the courage to speak it.

"…and above all…" she whispered, "…I never want to lose you……ever…"

I knew I had to tell her. I had to…but I still couldn't find my voice…I didn't want to find it…That would be giving up this brief lapse back to innocence…I wanted to keep it as long as I could…

"…Are you going to be okay…?"

I shook my head.

"Oh, honey…" she exclaimed softly, her voice betraying her strained emotions. She held me and stroked my hair, just like she did when I was little. I wanted to be little again. Nothing was ever so scary as this when I was little…Mom always said that I was brave…I wanted to be brave…

"Aren't you tired?" she whispered.

I hesitated, then nodded.

I don't want to be tired, Mom…I don't want to…go back to sleep…Please don't make me…

"…Why don't we go back to bed?" she suggested.

I shook me head, slowly at first, then more fiercely.

"No…" I whispered.

She looked at me, surprised. "Why not?"

"I can't go to sleep…"

"…Why not…?" she asked again, gently.

Fresh tears found their way to my cheeks. "I'm gonna die, Mom…I'm gonna…" I could feel my throat collapse on itself, halting my words.

"Wh…Ash…You're not going to die just by going to sleep…"

"Yes I am," I whispered, choking to get the words out, "…Yes I am…"

"Don't be silly, honey…" she said quietly, rubbing my back.

I swallowed a sob. "Mom…?"

"Yes, dear…?"

"I don't wanna die…"

Her hand moved slowly and found mine. She held it up so she could see my bandaged wrists.

"…I don't want you to either…" she answered softly.

I looked at her, tears still coming from my eyes. "I know…That's why I have to…have to…" I looked at my arms. "…do this…"

Her gaze found mine. I saw confusion and worry mixing on her face.

"What are you talking about…? That doesn't make any sense, dear…"

"Yes it does," I insisted, "If I want to save my life…I have to……end it…"

She brought me back to her side. "Ash, you're still not feeling well…It's been a long night…I can only imagine how exhausted you must be…"

"Don't let me sleep," I whispered.

"…What?"

"Don't let me sleep," I repeated, "If I sleep then…then the dreams will come, and I'll die…You can't let me fall asleep…!"

She didn't answer right away. She didn't believe me…?

"…All right…" she breathed.

"…Thank you…"

She just smiled sadly and gave me a little squeeze.

"…If you don't want to sleep, I guess we could watch tv for a while…" she sighed finally.

"Okay…" I nodded.

She helped me to the living room and we sat down on the couch. She turned on the tv and put it on mute. We were watching some movie…with four boys walking on railroad tracks…I don't remember much else, I wasn't really paying attention…Mom kept me warm and sang a quiet lullaby. I asked her to stop once. I told her it wasn't helping me stay awake. She apologized, but after a few minutes started it up again…I never got a chance to protest the second time…

A/N: This is a bit late and a bit stupid of me on my part, but I just figured out why the heck Ash didn't die…Um…he was cutting the wrong way…What? Don't give me that look! He was! That's why he kept hitting bone…Just letting y'all know…(sorry, but it took a while for me to figure that out okay…? Erm…thanks to Joshua Falken for unintentionally pointing that out to me…) *-_-*;;;