Chapter 14: Madness fills my heart and soul

Hermione Granger had faced a multitude of seemingly impossible tasks since she arrived at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had confronted the most daunting of situations and still come out on top.

So why did the thought of simply speaking with one of her professors make her more nervous than when she had dueled with Death Eaters the previous year?

Well, she mused, it wasn't as if she was just going to ask for help with homework. And the person with whom she wanted to speak did not typically offer a warm welcome. No, with Hermione, it always had to be much more complicated than that.

Hermione had watched one of her best friends fall deeper and deeper into depression over the last couple weeks, and she decided to take it upon herself to help. She had witnessed the way Harry's face fell when he was reprimanded publicly in potions class right after the Boy-Who-Lived had sworn Professor Snape had changed. She was also there when the two wizards argued, rather ardently, in the hallway. She had not heard the better part of the argument, but it did not matter. If Harry's face didn't give away the heartbreak her friend felt, then when she saw his tears in the common room later certainly did.

Hermione could feel her heart beat faster as she approached Professor Snape's office. She wasn't sure exactly what she thought she was doing, but she knew she had to try. She hadn't told Harry she planned on visiting their professor. She knew her friend would not admit to being upset and angry, and he would certainly insist she didn't open her mouth about it. Well, she had waited long enough. It had been another week since the explosive argument in the hallway, and neither Harry nor Professor Snape were going to admit that something was wrong.

The bushy-haired girl inhaled deeply before she began knocking on the door to Professor Snape's office. She could hear a rustling noise from within before the silky voice of her professor asked that she enter.

Hermione slowly opened the door to reveal Snape seated at his desk, doing paperwork of some kind.

Snape quirked an eyebrow as he watched the young girl tentatively walk toward his desk. "Ms. Granger, to what do I owe the honor?" his sarcasm poured out.

Hermione swallowed. Damn but the man was intimidating! "I just wanted to ask you something, professor," she replied as nonchalantly as she could.

Snape fixed her with a calculating gaze as she sat across from him. "Indeed? Surely it's not about your homework, as I've just finished grading your paper," he added as he held up the girl's work.

Hermione couldn't help but smile at the full marks she had received. "That's wonderful. I put hours into that paper," she added under her breath.

Snape's eyes narrowed. He really did hate the fact that this Gryffindor proved to be better at his Potions class than any of his Slytherins. "It shows," he managed to choke out in spite of that fact.

Hermione's eyes went wide. Professor Snape just complimented her! Well, sort of. But still, maybe he wasn't in as foul of a mood today as he usually was. That gave her hope that he wouldn't hex her for what she was about to bring up…

"Sir, I wanted to talk to you. It's about Harry," she managed to spit out.

Severus looked up from his work and quirked an eyebrow at the young girl. "Potter? Well, what a surprise. Everything's always about him, isn't it?" Professor Snape rolled his eyes.

Hermione licked her lips nervously as she gathered her courage. "I think that you should talk with him."

"Regarding what?" Snape asked coolly.

"The argument you two had last week," Hermione stated simply.

The professor glared. "That is none of your concern."

"It is my concern," the girl came back.

"Enlighten me," Snape began seriously. "How is a private conversation between Potter and myself any of your business?"

Hermione fixed her gaze on Snape, not willing to show the fear she felt inside at confronting him in such a way. "Because Harry is my friend and I can tell that he is upset by this whole thing."

Snape rolled his eyes as he began organizing his paperwork. "You should know by now, Ms. Granger, that my words have little to no impact on Mr. Potter."

"That's not true!"

Snape fixed the girl with a cold glare and Hermione gave a frightened squeak as she realized she'd just shouted at her professor.

"W-what I meant was…" Hermione groped to find the right words. "Harry's opinion of you had changed, and your harsh words impacted him more than you think."

Severus knew that what Hermione spoke was the truth, but he couldn't force himself to face it. Harry wasn't upset anymore, he couldn't be. After what Snape had said to him how could the boy be feeling anything more than hate toward the professor? The boy couldn't possibly still want to have anything to do with him.

Snape stood from his chair as he gathered his pile of papers. "You are mistaken, Ms. Granger. Now if you're through wasting my time-"

"You're not listening!"

Hermione quickly shut her mouth as Snape slammed his stack of papers rather forcefully down on the desk. The Potions master then moved around his desk and loomed over the young girl.

"One more outburst like that, Ms. Granger, and you can be sure Gryffindor won't have any points left for me to take away the next time you decide to open your mouth."

Hermione nodded her head slowly as Snape began to walk away. She wasn't going to give up though, not yet.

"Please, sir, you don't understand how hurt Harry was…"

Snape sighed in annoyance as he gathered his papers once again. "I highly doubt Potter takes anything Ihave to say to heart." He knew that was a lie, but it was one he was trying to pass off to himself as well.

"Then why did I find him alone and crying afterwards?"

Hermione gasped at her own declaration. It came out of her mouth before she even realized what she was saying! Oh, she shouldn't have said that. Harry would kill her if he ever found out what she admitted. However, when she looked back at her professor, he wasn't smirking as she was expecting. Professor Snape's face held an uncharacteristically disturbed look, as though he was very bothered by what Hermione had just said.

"Potter was… lament, you say?"

Hermione gazed at her professor levelly. His voice was very soft when he asked the question, and the girl couldn't help but inwardly beam. So her thoughts had been right! Hermione had guessed that Snape was pushing Harry away for a higher purpose than just to crush her friend. She wasn't sure as to what the reason was, but she could tell her professor didn't want to hurt Harry anymore than her friend wanted to hate Snape.

"Yes…" the bushy-haired girl answered slowly. "But please don't ever tell him I told you!" she added desperately.

Snape scoffed. "Your adolescent worries are the least of my problems."

Hermione wasn't quite sure what that meant, but she decided to press on. "So, you're going to talk to him then?" she asked hopefully.

"No."

Hermione gaped. "But, but professor! You can't mean that!"

Snape rounded on the young girl. "Did I stutter, Ms. Granger? Twenty points from Gryffindor for wasting my time!"

Hermione scowled. "That's not fair! I wasn't wasting your time!"

"That is a matter of opinion. Now get out of my office, you silly girl!"

Hermione's eyes filled with tears as she gathered her things.

Snape noticed the grief in the young girl, and he felt horrible. "Blasted Gryffindors! Since when do I care how they feel?" However, something inside him wanted to remedy the situation.

"You cannot possibly understand, Ms. Granger." His voice came out in a quiet, almost defeated tone.

"Oh, I understand," Hermione came back angrily. "I understand that you're too stubborn to do what you know is right!"

The girl slammed the door as she left, giving the professor no time for a retort or to ponder how very true her last statement was.

As Hermione stormed out of the office and through the halls, she knew she was not giving up. If Professor Snape wouldn't listen to reason, she knew someone who would.

As Harry walked toward the headmaster's office, he couldn't help but feel excited. He did not know the reason for being summoned and he found that he really didn't care. He hadn't seen the older wizard in a while and he was hoping that just the sight of him would brighten his spirits.

He couldn't deny that he'd been down lately because of the debacle with Professor Snape. He still felt humiliated, even disappointed, that he let the professor lead him on in such a way. However, there was another underlying emotion that Harry had been trying rather unsuccessfully to push away. He was still feeling extremely hurt. He had thought he'd found someone to confide in, and in the least likely of places! Someone who would be there for him and care for him in a way Harry had never known. When Harry ran over the events in his mind over and over again, he found he had every right to be confused by the whole situation.

As Harry entered the headmaster's office, he was faced with even more confusion. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as an equally surprised Professor Snape glared back at him. Harry's eyes worked their way over to where Dumbledore sat to find the headmaster smiling back at him.

"Harry, so nice to see you, my boy. Come, join us," Dumbledore finished as he gestured to a chair next to Snape.

Harry swallowed nervously and nodded silently. As he slowly walked to his chair, his eyes found Professor Snape again. The man continued to glare, his dark eyes following the Boy-Who-Lived until he was seated next to him.

Dumbledore continued to smile as Harry sat down. He could sense the tension in the air between his two younger wizards and realized just how right Ms. Granger had been. Not that she was often wrong. The young girl had visited him not two hours ago with tears in her eyes and explained everything she had witnessed and heard between Harry and Severus. Dumbledore had realized that his moment to intervene had arrived.

"Gum drop, Harry?" Dumbledore asked innocently as he held a bowl out to the young boy.

"Thank you, sir," Harry replied warily as he took a candy out of the bowl.

Dumbledore then offered the candy to Severus, who simply crossed his arms over his chest and quirked an eyebrow in distaste.

"Some tea then, Severus?" Dumbledore offered pleasantly.

"Thank you, no," Snape replied, the annoyance in his voice evident.

"Oh, I must insist," the headmaster continued as he poured a cup and pushed it toward Snape. "You are always much more pleasant after you've had some," he finished with a twinkle.

Snape's lips curled in exasperation. "I must admit my confusion, Albus. I came up here on the notion that you had something of a private matter to discuss with me," Snape's eyes darted toward Harry as he spoke.

Dumbledore smiled. "But it is a private matter, one that includes both of you."

Harry looked nervously from one professor to the other. He really had no idea what was going on, but was oddly comforted by the fact that it seemed Snape was left in the dark as well.

"Firstly," Dumbledore continued, "I'd like to happily announce the threat of Voldemort has ebbed, for now anyway, and therefore Harry may rejoin his fellow Gryffindors once again."

Harry sat up straighter at this. "You mean I don't have to stay with Professor Snape anymore?" he asked excitedly.

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, Harry, that is precisely what I mean."

Snape quirked an eyebrow at the sigh of relief Harry blew out. He would never admit it, but the boy's unbridled joy at the news he could leave made something inside Snape's chest sting.

The flash of hurt in Snape's eyes certainly did not go unnoticed by Dumbledore. In fact, the older wizard was almost glad to have seen it. Not that he wanted Severus to hurt, but the almost nonexistent display of emotion reaffirmed what Dumbledore had perceived to be going on. Severus was pushing Harry away, that much was obvious. But it was clear that his heart wasn't fully committed, and Dumbledore had a good guess as to why.

"Onto the other reason I asked you both to my office," the headmaster continued conversationally. "How are the Occlumency lessons going?" he asked as his eyes darted between the younger wizards.

"Abysmal," Snape replied simply as Harry muttered "awful" under his breath.

"I see," Dumbledore replied slowly, "and why do you think that is?"

Harry opened his mouth to answer but Snape cut him off.

"We have known since last year that Mr. Potter is rather inept with the skill. This time proves to be no different," Snape finished with a smirk.

Harry glared at the dark-cloaked professor. "That's not true! I managed to block you that one time!" Harry was getting very tired of the insults and wanted to defend himself, however trivial his one success had been.

"Even the most incompetent get lucky once in a while, Potter," Snape came back coolly.

"It wasn't luck!" the Boy-Who-Lived came back angrily. "I was focusing as hard as I could!"

Snape locked eyes with Harry. "Then why do you manage to fail every other time we attempt it?"

Harry bit his lip as his former caretaker regarded him with so much contempt. "Because I can't stop thinking about how much you hurt me!"the boy thought to himself. He wanted to yell it out loud, but figured even if he did, his professor would just laugh in his face.

Dumbledore, however, read the message loud and clear. Clearing his throat he waited for his two younger wizards to tear their hateful looks off of each other.

"Perhaps we are going about this the wrong way," he began tentatively once he had the younger wizards' attention. "I think it would be wise if Harry had a break from Occlumency for a little while."

"Thank Merlin," Harry breathed.

Snape glared at Dumbledore, his arms still crossed defiantly over his chest. He was inwardly relieved, however. The less he had to see Harry, the easier it would be to move on as if they had never stood on common ground. However, the boy's safety was still of utmost importance to Severus, it being the very reason he pushed Harry away. "Not that I oppose in any way, Albus, as my living quarters will be much cleaner and less annoying, but it is a skill that the boy must learn if he is to survive."

Harry was reeling from the always insulting way Snape managed to speak of him, but Dumbledore smiled at the underlying concern Snape had just shown for the boy.

"Severus, my dear boy, I was not finished," Dumbledore continued seriously. "Harry is to take a break from Occlumency lessons but in the mean time I think it would be a good idea to have the two of you practice Defense Against the Dark Arts together."

Harry gaped at the news. With the way Snape was acting toward him, he could only imagine the hexes that would come out of his Professor's wand if allowed to practice Defense Against the Dark Arts with him.

Snape found himself with conflicting emotions once again. He didn't want to be forced to spend more time with Harry, as it proved increasingly harder to ignore the hurt in those emerald eyes. However, he knew that if anyone was skilled enough in the Dark Arts to truly help the boy, it was himself.

Dumbledore smiled to himself. He may not have gotten any verbal acceptance, but he also didn't hear any arguments. "I shall take your silence as approval then," he stated simply. He knew that the two wizards were feeling anger towards each other, and what better way to release that resentment than to be able to fire hexes at each other? In his infinite wisdom, Dumbledore knew that the younger men simply had to vent before any kind of civil conversation would occur between them.

Dumbledore stood then, and Harry and Severus stood with him. "I believe our meeting has come to an end then. You both may take your leave however, before you do, I'd like to ask that you shake hands," he added with a twinkle.

Both wizards regarded the headmaster with a look of confusion.

"It is apparent you two are feeling rather ill towards each other," Dumbledore began simply. "I think it only appropriate that you at least act civil and treat one another with due respect."

Harry resisted the want to roll his eyes and was taken aback when he saw Professor Snape's hand extended toward him. His surprised emerald eyes rose to meet the expectant look of his professor's. He clasped his professor's hand and was surprised yet again by the fact that the handshake was friendly. Not at all the bone-crushing shake Harry was expecting. When Harry went to pull away, he couldn't help but wonder why Snape continued to hold on. The dark eyes of his professor gave him a piercing look that would have made any first year wet themselves. Harry, however, felt himself oddly comforted by the look and couldn't help but wonder what his professor could possibly be thinking at that moment.

To be continued…

A/N: All hail Hermione, our unsung hero :-)