"Guess what, that guy in cell 500 just found Jesus."
Izaya offered this tidbit and picked up a black pawn. Shizuo sat across the chess board and frowned. They were in the game room, Izaya had just taught him the rules and proceeded to beat him ten times in a row. Shizuo had no idea how anyone could master such a complicated game of strategy and still carry a conversation. This seemed to be a contest to see how many moves it took for Izaya to win more than actual game.
"Jesus?"
"As in Jesus Christ, Shizu-chan. It is not uncommon for inmates to become religious."
"Really?"
"There are even studies about the phenomenon."
"Weird."
Shizuo studied the pieces. He was pretty sure it was useless to even attempt to win but at least he wanted to try.
"There's a missionary that set camp here. I'm looking forward to talking to him. Already have my free bible and all."
Shizuo blinked and finally took his eyes off the checkered board and turned to Izaya who was now dangling his queen in the air.
"You want to become, er, how are they called again?"
"'Christians', that's the word you're looking for and no, I am not about to convert. Although I'd love to tell you why your soul is lost and how hell bound you are."
"Got me scared for a while there. What could you possibly want with a missionary?"
"He's someone new. That's about it, really. I'm sick and tired of seeing the same people day in and day out. It gets really old."
"I guess…"
"Also, it's not everyday I get a chance of showing off my bible skills."
"You're going to play mind games with the poor guy. I feel sorry for him already."
Izaya chuckled.
"Check mate, Shizu-chan. This makes it eleven nil."
Shizuo sighed.
"I suppose it's a given that I can't win."
"Cheer up. I usually play against ten people at the same time online and never lose so you don't have to beat yourself over it. You're just a newbie after all."
"Yeah…"
Izaya set the pieces anew.
"So have you figured what to give your brother for his birthday?"
"Not really. Normally we just go to an amusement park. I'm not good with gifts."
Izaya flipped through his new portable bible.
"Aw, that's sweet."
"I've been trying to save to finally take him to Disneyland."
Shizuo had been through the several packages to see which ones he could afford so he was doubly depressed at being unable to carry out his plans.
"Well, I'm afraid even I cannot help you with that. But you can have my phone call next week."
"But don't you want to talk to your sisters?"
Izaya shrugged.
"It's fine."
Shizuo brooded.
"You haven't had any visits…"
"I got the guards to turn down my sisters if they drop by."
Shizuo was taken by surprise.
"Why?"
"I don't want them anywhere near this place. Besides, you're the one that gets the prize of best big brother of the year anyway. Oh and check mate."
Shizuo did not at all agree.
"But taking your phone time is just, you know, wrong."
"I'm fine with it. But pick it up a bit, Shizu-chan. Last game only lasted five minutes and in half an hour I have a meeting with Mister Evangelical."
Shizuo shook his head as Izaya aligned the pieces once more.
"Do you even believe in God?"
"I don't think it matters one bit whether there is one or not. If God exists then I am locked in jail. If God does not exist then I am still locked in jail. In other words it is irrelevant. It does not even enter into the equation."
"Bet you won't tell that to this priest fellow."
Izaya laughed.
"Right you are, Shizu-chan. I love religious people. I truly do and particularly of the Christian breed that is rather rare around these parts. The sexual repression, all that devotion and awe in their 'relationship with Christ', it all makes it so delightful when they break apart. I'm sure he's eager to save poor Izaya who is in jail and without God. So I'll play the part and be repentant. Until he wants me so much that his guilt will eat him up and kill him from the inside."
Izaya's smile was brilliant. Shizuo shivered.
"Why do you have to be so awful?"
"Because I am Orihara Izaya."