As always I want to Thank you for all the reviews! I didn't expect so much love for this story and it's something that surprised me and makes me really happy!
This chapter is going to end with a big happening. I wanted to specify that I wrote this scene during the 5th season, when I didn't know that I was going to seen something similar in episode 6x09.
I hope you're gonna like the chapter and please let know what you think about it!
A very special thanks, goes to CryWilliams for her amazing support and her help"
In the previous chapters:
- After the useless confrontation with Elisabeth, Blair confesses to Daphne that she had lost Chuck's baby. Chuck hears it and runs away.
- Nicholas tells Blair that Chuck knows and that's the reason why he left.
Blair breaks down. No one can talk to her, she doesn't eat or walk out of her bedroom. No one know where Chuck is.
- In the desperate attempt to help Blair, Eleanor asks Mr Harvey informations about Chuck, but he refuses. However, he gives her Blair's file, the one Nicholas had given to Daphne weeks before.
- Eleanor discovers that Blair was pregnant with Chuck's Baby, but she lost it due to her bulimia. She cannot accept it, but Blair explains to her and Serena, that her life with Louis was unhappy. Both Eleanor and realises that Blair thinks she killed her own baby and they try to reassure her.
- Chuck is consumed by the truth, so he tries everything he can to run away from it and forgot Blair, only to realise that it's impossible. At the end of his escape, it's his grandmother's embrace that gives him some peace.
- Worried by the lack of information about Blair, Chuck comes back to NY to check on her. He finds her sick and desperate. Watching her that way, leads him to forgive her.
Chapter 14
Beyond midnight
Nicholas and I were instable because we kept on chasing each other after breaking up and coming back together, but when we were together we were invincible and balanced. The time I spent with him was one of the most amazing of my life. I was so happy that losing him was something that scared me so much to influence my way to be with him. I felt like I was becoming weaker every time and knowing, at the same time, that I couldn't have survived if I had lost him again.
"Mr Bass we're flying on New York . Please get ready for the landing"
Chuck ended the phone conversation with his pilot and stretched in his bed.
Blair's head laid on his chest, her brown curls spread on his shirt. She had been sleeping on him for 2 hours, clinging at his shirt with one hand and wedging him with her legs.
The only idea of waking her up pissed him off. He could have stayed like that for a lifetime.
He leaned closer to her head, rubbing slowly the tip of his nose on hers and placing a kiss on her ruby lips.
Blair instinctively sighted and pictured a smile on her face, pulling him closer.
"We're home kitten" Chuck deeply breathed in the perfume of her hair while whispering in her ear. One of his hands was caressing her naked shoulder.
"Already?" she complained, throwing her head in the curve of his neck and smelling him.
"I may still kidnap you" He proposed, not wanting that moment to ever end.
"And tell me…What kind of torture do you have in mind Bass?" she asked him, seeking for his cheek to rub. A malicious smile was on her lips even if her eyes were still closed.
"Locking you at the Empire and cover your body with the caramel hot cream you love so much..." he had no shame, biting her lip and caressing her whole body with his hand to mime what he had in mind. She was pleased by his proposal and excited by the way his fingers were touching her skin.
"You like the chocolate more" she reminded him, slowly opening her eyes and slipping on the top of him.
"At the Empire?" Chuck asked placing kisses around her lips. In his head everything was already settled she just had to say yes.
Blair sighed, satisfied by the way his dark eyes and his wanting body desired her. She didn't reply for a while, just enjoying all the sensations of their bodies tight together.
"I need to pick up some changing first" she finally informed him, putting a distance between them.
"You won't need them" Chuck lifted up to get closer and bite the spot of her neck that usually made her mad.
Closing her eyes at the contact, Blair couldn't stop but moaning and pulled him closer.
He triumphantly smiled against her skin before falling back on the pillow and taking a long full sight of the way he made her feel.
When Blair, opened her eyes back, his hands were already cupping and caressing her thighs under her nightgown.
She knew he was doing his best to convince her, so she had to use the same means.
Sitting astride on the top of him, she let her hands guide on his chest, observing his reactions.
"You know, how much I adore, staying in bed with you all day… us naked and tight on each other..." she begun, excited by his dark eyes which were fixing the straps on her gown.
"… but I love more when we concede each other the best, excruciating pleasure of seduction" she leaned on his chest to stray her fingers on it and play with his hair chest. "And…In my closet there's everything we need" she finished, leaning on him to kiss him.
On the other hand, Chuck wasn't that much of the idea of waiting longer.
When Blair's lips broke the contact from his and she sat back, his hands caressed upward her arms only to stop on her shoulder and remove her straps. He grumbled thinking that he couldn't go further, while his eyes were devouring the skin he had exposed to his view.
"How about we call La Perla and make them send at the Empire the entire collection and we don't lose time?" he propose with hoarse voice, teasing her body with his fingers only to delight himself of the way her body responded to his touches.
"You always know how to bribe me Chuck Bass.." she whispered, utterly consumed by the sensations he was provoking to her body.
"I know you better than anyone else..." he giggled, observing her from the pillow, losing control and starting rocking on his member.
"Call Falke too" she ordered him, bringing him from his hair and pulling him up against her to kiss him.
"Absolutely" He agreed, blocking her into his strong arms to deepen the kiss.
"Bass"
"Mmh"
"Stop this plane from landing!"
In a few minutes her nails were leaving scarf on his back.
"It's over" Dan informed her, when the red light of the camera switched off.
Daphne took a relief breath and smiled.
Dan stared at her in embarrassed.
"What?" she suddenly asked him.
"No-thing.." he replied defensively before justifying himself… "It's…I've been wrong about you"
"Please, do not try to fall for me too" Daphne made fun of him with a sweet smile. "I know that you like Blair" she reasoned her line.
"She left with him" Dan's suffered tone made her realize how much he was still into her.
"Have you ever asked her to run away with you?"
"Me?" he was surprised. Daphne nodded.
"Come on…We're talking about Blair Waldorf, the one who thinks that the heels of her last Manolo are more important than a baby from Burundi . The same one who can't leave the Dior shop without buying something" he had clearly lost hope. "Blair Waldorf would never end up with someone like me"
"Do you wanna know what I think?" Daphne had carefully listened to him. Dan nodded.
"I don't think that she sees you as something different from a friend as well as I think that she's not aware of your infatuation" Dan's gaze fixed something behind Daphne's shoulders.
Nicholas was chatting with a girl. Maybe it was just his way to behave but it always seemed that he was flirting with anyone. Daphne had seen it too, but she looked indifferent.
"He's a charmer" She explained to Dan as she was talking about some random piece in shop window.
"Doesn't it bother you? I mean... he had been all wrong with you and he doesn't even think that he can hurt you!" Dan said, still surprised by her lack of reactions.
Daphne didn't look pissed by his question.
"It's not that he doesn't know it, he simply can't change"
"And is this ok to you? You're really willing to have him this way? In spite of all?" Dan couldn't believe it.
"I love him the way he is" Daphne replied.
Dan was perplex, but it didn't stop her.
"People are not black or white. We're all different. Nicholas loves me. I know it, better than him. This is the real problem."
"It looks like the contrary"
"Because you don't know him" Daphne knew that she could go further.
"Look at Chuck and Blair.." she started. "For long you've thought that they were bad both together, both on their own. Then you've found the good in Blair while she was suffering because of Chuck's choices and you've decided that she's better without him. So, you think that Chuck and Blair are not the right pairing people think, their love is weakness and she's his victim. Here is the mistake" Dan looked touched by her words.
"No one knows the depth of a relationship between two people who complete each other. Have you ever asked yourself why, after so many years, the Blair who had conquered your heart, is still choosing him? Saying that she's a masochist or that he's a puppeteer is easy. If she always comes back to him, maybe he's more worth it than anyone else can think".
Dan was speechless.
"Are you telling me that thinking wrong about Chuck destroys what I feel for her?"
"Something like that" Daphne agreed.
"And that I have a terrible idea of both Chuck and Nicholas, just because I don't know who they really are?"
"You're learning fast Humphrey"
"Do you study philosophy?" he finally asked.
"I've always liked the psychology more" Daphne offered him a smile. "It could be weird, hearing it from me, but if you want Blair in your life, you have to tell her the truth".
She was convincing him. "Obviously the fact that my brother could make you a black eye, is another story!" She laughed, standing up and leaving the seat to Nicholas for his interview.
"I told you, they would have fallen at your feet" Chuck reminded her with pride, pulling her against his body. The board meeting was over and Blair's proposal had been a gigantic success.
"My project was impeccable, they couldn't vote against me. Plus feeding the duck in Central Park is a father favourite gift" she giggled while circling his neck with her arms.
"You're back on top... and we both know how much you love it" he whispered in her hear and biting it. She couldn't contain a moaning, while her lips pictured a smile. She let him toy with her a little bit more before reminding him what they had to do. She puffed.
"We have to attend the brunch..." it was more a complaining than a reminder.
They had to attend the Board Brunch. Even through it, instead of breaking the contact with Chuck, Blair pulled him closer, plunging her hands in his hair and throwing a leg around his hips as he had placed her on the meeting table.
"We could stay here instead..." he suggested, with his famous smirk on his face, testing her skin with his lips. In the meantime one of his hands had disappeared under her Dior skirt.
"and what do you propose?" Blair maliciously asked him, while Chuck's other hand had slipped inside of her shirt, caressing her back.
She was enjoying the feeling of being the only centre of his attentions.
The world was at her feet and she felt complete and satisfied. She was working for one of the major company of the world, she had just won her first goal at the board, and the papers would have told that she had succeed because of her capacities.
Plus, she was with the man of her life and the idea of having sex with him on the same table that just a few minutes before had ordained her success, excited her more than anything else.
She felt invincible and desired and accepted and powerful.
"And this one is the room where the board do the meetings. If you go ahead you can take a better look" Daphne's voice came from the alley. Probably she was outside of the door with some visitors.
Both Chuck and Blair came as surprised. Hit by the panic, Blair pushed Chuck away from her and quickly climbed off the table adjusting her skirt, hiding behind him.
She couldn't be caught that way, not after her first personal success, not after the tons of compromising pictures of the previous weeks, not together with the nephew of the boss by a school visit.
Chuck turned towards the door, covering her with his body.
"Look who's here…" Daphne came into his view.
"You always have the perfect timing, sis" he welcomed Daphne.
"Actually I'd rather not finding you in a compromising position anymore" She replied back, stepping into the room.
Blair became red. The last time, she had found them in the back of Dan's car, while they were dressing up.
"Too bad you are alone…We don't care if someone watch" Chuck's irony made Blair stronger. She raised her head and took a few steps towards Chuck to show herself to Daphne and verify he was right.
Thankfully she was really alone. No school visit in sight.
"Thank God, you scared me!" Blair took a relief breath, but Daphne winced at Chuck's exit.
"As for myself, I had enough about watching" She replied to him clearly hinting back to Texas .
"If I were you, sis, I wouldn't disdain a frontal lesson. Practice teaches better" he provoked her, knowing that she wasn't going to shut up.
"In that case, I believe that the educational movie collection under your bed, would be enough"
Chuck smirked satisfied.
"Fine! What can we do for you?" Blair stopped their conversation. She didn't look pissed at all by their little argument, but relaxed and quite instead.
"I'm here to invite you to a victory dinner tonight, and to tell you that you can't play the hea ache card to miss it" Daphne informed them.
"A dinner? For me?" Blair drifted her ears, excited by the news.
"A traditional Italian dinner" Daphne specified, winking at her.
Chuck smirked, well aware of the fact that the two woman in front of him were really similar on that point. Traditions were untouchable!
"What?" Blair took his attention. She had realized that he was hiding something. "You don't believe that I can attend to a traditional dinner that your sister has so thoughtfully arranged in my honour?"
"Blair.." he tried to explain. She was completely far from the truth.
"Blair Waldorf loves traditions and traditions love Blair Waldorf!" she pointed out to him preventing him from explaining himself.
"This is not what I was .." he tried again.
"I'm so glad you're back home" That time was Daphne who was speaking. "…I should say that I almost missed you"
"Nate?" Nicholas called him from the reception.
"Nicholas, Hi! What are you doing here?" Nate knew him pretty well as Nicholas was a close friend of Chuck, but since he had found out what he had done to Daphne, Nate didn't like him anymore.
"I've been told that Chuck is back. Is he here?"
"He arrived yesterday together with Blair. They have been locked in his bedroom till 3 hours ago"
"Man, you'd better find another place!" Nate fixed Nicholas perplex.
"He's at the board now. They had an important vote today" Nate changed the topic.
"Are you talking about the project for the safeguard of the ducks in Central Park ?"
"It could be it" Nate's coldness was something that Nicholas sensed.
"So, I suppose that Daphne is there too" he said to verify if his doubts were true.
"She said so.."
Nate was his rival. Nicholas smirked. He could have easily destroyed him if he ever wanted it.
"You know that soon or later she'll come back to me?" He reminded to Nate, hoping to affect him in some ways, but the guy in front of him didn't react.
"She loves you, but you don't deserve her anymore" Nate admitted, well aware of the fact that Nicholas was going to be an irreplaceable presence in her heart. However his time with her was over.
"Daphne and I belong to each other" Nicholas explained with arrogance. He didn't like that people could judge him. People didn't know what they had. "You can make her happy now, but you won't ever complete her the way I do"
"Oh B! You're back!" Serena opened Blair's door and walked in.
They haven't seen each other yet, since Blair had come back in the city.
"S!" Blair ran to her, hugging her close.
Serena couldn't stop but thinking that just a week before her best friend deadly lied on that bed and right there she was happiness herself.
"I'm so happy to see you like this B! I've been so worried about you…" Serena held her close for a little longer. "And you've even cleaned up yourself!" she made fun of Blair, who rolled her eyes and broke away from the embrace.
"I was out of myself Serena and it's never happened before" she pointed out, annoyed by her best friend's exit. Yes it was something she was ashamed about, so she had to find a way to hide it in the past forever.
Serena smiled at her reaction. That girl in front of her was her real best friend in all her glory.
"You have to tell me everything!" Serena begged her, looking at her with curiosity.
"Chuck brought me to Italy " Blair suddenly lightened up. Her excitement was still in her eyes.
"Are those all new?" Serena interrupted her, noticing tons of Italian stylist's bags inside and outside of Blair new gigantic closet.
Blair didn't reply, but conceded her best friend a guilty look.
"I can't believe it! Chuck bought you the entire Via Monte Napoleone!" Serena exploded, opening the closet door only to notice that there were bags in everywhere.
"Oh my God! Let me guess... you've played the who buys more things to the other? game!?" tried to find a reason for all the bags thrown in everywhere.
It wasn't even the first time they did it! She remembered the Christmas of 2009, when they had filled an entire plane cabin with gifts and purchases coming back from their trip in Rio . Lily was still praising a sculpture of a local artist they had picked up for her.
"Come on S! You know that buying clothes to Chuck is more fun to than buying them just for me!" Blair justify herself, bringing a Cavalli shopper.
"And who won this time?"
"Me" Blair's victorious glare was a clear statement of joy. "But only because Chuck wanted to buy me the Colosseum and they stopped him, so he's been obliged to reserve it only for a night". There was a line of power in Blair's voice. Maybe there had been a time when she had believed that he made her weak, but whenever she was with him she always looked stronger and powerful.
"By the way, he wanted it to be counted, but I complained! I can't obviously wear it!" Blair stated it, taking a seat on her bed, with the bag in her hand.
It was clear that that piece, would have changed the victory, and it did bother Blair.
"He must be hurt by the refusal..."Serena commented thinking about Chuck's ego. He had been raised up believing that his money could have bought everything he wanted. At the kindergarten he used to pay the other kids to play with him!
"Oh don't worry Serena, we took our revenge, violating a few laws about the decorum on a public place" Blair assured her with a smirk.
"Please! I don't wanna hear it!" Serena plugged her ears knowing exactly was Blair was going to tell her.
"Chuck has always had an insane passion for the centurions! The gladiator was one of his favourite role to play!" Blair kept on speaking about their sex games, well aware of Serena's embarrassment.
"Ok! I got it! May we change the subject please?" she begged her best friend.
"If you want... but don't say that I didn't tell you anything then!" Blair looked shining with her bright smile pictured on her face.
"Oh! B! I haven't seen you so happy in such a long time!" Even if Serene wasn't going to admit it, she had missed all the talk about Blair and Chuck's sexual life. It meant that they were fine and in love and most of all, that Blair was her real self.
"I do am happy" Blair nodded with a huge smile, taking a box with a big bow outside of the Cavalli's shopper. "And this is for you!"
"For me?" Serena echoed her with joy. She adored Cavalli!
She run and took a seat next to her best friend who was handing her the box.
"I'm really grateful to you Serena" Blair changed the tone of the conversation, watching Serena untying the bow.
"I know that you were outside of my door, days and nights" she shyly smiled "And I'm sorry for not telling you what happened, for all this time".
Serena couldn't help but notice Blair's melancholy. She forgot about the box and looked into her best friend eyes.
"I'll always be there for you B! Always" She assured Blair, taking her hands in hers.
"I just couldn't accept that my baby was gone" Blair admitted, slowly caressing her belly. "I know that losing a baby in the first few months happens" she lowered her gaze on her belly. "But I've been so scared to tell it to myself. To tell Chuck... When he went to Paris and London to look for me, I couldn't meet him, I was afraid that if I had told him, he would have hated me... I couldn't even look into his eyes… But I was wrong, He's still here…" she conceded a tiny sweet smile.
"Maybe that baby was there to remind us how much time we've lost".
In that very moment, Serena could see through the tons of gifts and the sexual attentions.
"How are you feeling now?" she asked, not hiding her worry.
"Fine, why?" Blair lied, acting as everything was ok. Serena got it.
"B, I don't wanna break the ball. I know how much you love each other and that you're really happy with Chuck now..." Serena knew that she couldn't shut up. She had to tell her the truth.
"But…" Blair urged her, knowing Serena better.
"I know you, both of you... I know that you're doing all of this…" she pointed at the bags on the floor "just because you're scared to lose each other all over again. But, this is not what you need".
When they were afraid of hurting each other and lose everything they had, they started acting as if they lived in a perfect land, making each other happy on a material way. It was always the same way to avoid the main point, not to face and handle what really hurt them.
"You're wrong S" Blair corrected her, pretending that her words didn't hit her. "Chuck and I have never been as close as we are now"
"So, I'm glad to be wrong" Serena apologized, aware that her words had opened the wound.
"Do you like it?" Blair suddenly changed the conversation, pointing at the box in Serena's hand. She didn't want Serena to realize that what she had said was right, as always.
"Ehi, Man! You've finally decided to move back in?" Nate leaned on the doorstep of Chuck's old room at the Empire, following Chuck who was giving specific instructions to his employer about where to place the hundreds of bags coming out of the elevator.
"Don't worry Nathaniel, I just stopped by to leave here a few things" Chuck replied, moving a few huge bags of Hermes from the bed to the floor.
Nate was confused. Where did he get all those clothes?
"Speaking of this… Do you mind if I place some of them in your closet?" Chuck asked him.
"Of course not" Nate was unaware of what he had to expect from his question.
"Mister Bass, where can we leave these?" a waiter asked, coming from the elevator with a huge trailer full of bags and boxes which would have filled the entire Nate's room.
"Put them in Nate's closet" Chuck ordered without even taking a look of the items inside of the bags.
"Man, Where are all these things coming from?" the curiosity on Nate's face was mixed to a confused expression.
"Blair and I bought a few things while we were away" Nate looked at Chuck and then back at all the bags.
"When you two attend the fashion weeks, you come back with less clothes. Should I get worried?" Nate looked serious.
"We've been in Italy " Chuck started to justify himself.
"And you bought the entire via Monte Napoleone to her" Nate surprised Chuck with his sharpness.
"I just wanted to make her happy" Chuck reasoned, knowing what Nate was thinking.
"Look, man... I know about the baby... aren't you just spoiling each other to avoid the real mess?"
"Nate, I'm not in the mood for that conversation" Chuck tried to wrap up the argument, as Nate had just reached the main point of the story.
"I know how it hurts" Nate didn't stop though, catching Chuck's full attention.
"I know both of you since kindergarten. I know what you're doing. You're scared to lose each other so you're spending thousands of dollars in gifts and having tons of sex only to show each other your love"
"We love doing those things"
"Have you talked to each other about what happened? I mean, a real talk…What it really meant it in your relationship with her?" Nate hit and sank Chuck again.
"Nathaniel, I really appreciate your interest in our relationship, but it's none of your business"
"I'm sorry man, but it's not just your business. A Gucci's purse or an Hermes's tie don't alleviate the pain for the loss of a child. A new collection doesn't cancel a previous one, right?" Chuck swallowed hard.
"Allow me a tip Nathaniel. Stop hanging out with my sister. Her love theories are nutsing you"
"You said family dinner, right?" Dan was surprised by what he had in front of his eyes.
Daphne had invited everyone: Lily, Rufus, Eric who was back from the college, Eleanor and Cyrus together with Dorota, Vanya and their baby. Nate was there with his mother. Then there were a few close employers and friends of the grandparents. Then, obviously, the grandparents, uncle John, Serena, Chuck and Blair.
"I'll regret it, but you'll get used to family reunions like this" Daphne smiled at him, jokily hitting him on the shoulder before running into the kitchen to bring a package of chips to fry.
Cyrus and Mr Harvey were trying the barbeque on the balcony. Josephine was showing Eleanor and Lily how to cut the breads and how to fry the chips. Serena delivered the drinks that Chuck was preparing at the minibar of the living room, while Blair was smilingly putting the ice into the glasses of scotch and the olives into the glasses of Martini. She looked happy, sitting next to Chuck and helping him with the drinks.
Rufus was playing some Eagles songs with his guitar and John Harvey sang the songs, following him with the piano. Nate and Eric were playing with Daphne's 5 little house dogs, instead.
Everything Dan Humphrey had never seen in years was right in front of him and it was all thanks to the Harvey Family. It looked like a movie scene.
"Are you amazed Humphrey?" Nicholas came from behind his back.
"I see you're here too..." Dan swallowed, annoyed by his appearance.
"I suggested Daphne all of this. She loves these Italian family parties"
"She is Italian" Dan specified. It was something she was really proud of, wearing Italian clothes and choosing Italian restaurants for lunch.
"She's a flag that doesn't belong to any State" Nicholas said, fixing her with enchanted eyes.
"Neither to you"
"You don't know anything about us, Humphrey" Nicholas admonished Dan, waiting for him to turn around and look at him.
"You're right" Dan admitted, taking a better look at the people in front of him.
"I don't know anything about you. Actually I don't know anything about anyone… Look…. I thought that I could change the world with my talent, that I could have Serena van der Woodsen, that I could reach my goals. I was wrong. I believed I was writing the truth, but I wrote fake things about everyone. I believed I was helping the people I loved, but I was just hurting them instead. And most of all, I've never thought that I'd seen Eleanor Waldorf cutting breads for a
family "country outing" in the living room of one of the most powerful family of the world, but she's right there, doing it! She's also singing 'take it easy' with a satisfied smile on her face!"
"If I'm not mistaken, Serena has luckily found a better match" That was the only thing that had caught Nicholas interest of all Dan's speech.
Dan looked at him absorbing the shock. Nicholas was sipping at his bourbon.
"Thanks for reminding me"
"You're welcome"
"You know? The thing is that nothing is certain" Dan couldn't shut up on that anymore. "Daphne loves you, she told me herself, but it's time for her to let you go. She needs it"
"She'll come back to me" Nicholas replied with no hesitations. He was sure about it.
"Maybe... however she's meeting people and you'd never know if she'd be happy without you in her new life" Dan explained, looking at Daphne who was having fun with Nate.
Nicholas followed Dan's gaze and saw that too. He swallowed while their past rewind in his head.
He drunk his left bourbon in one go and leaned close to Dan's ear.
"There's a thing we all know but you... While you were walking in the London parks with Blair Waldorf, fucking her in your fantasy land, she was secretly grieving the loss of Chuck's child"
Dan paled. Nicholas words hit him in the heart like a dagger.
"Can you see it? Nothing is certain, little Humphrey"
The day is made of 24 hours. Midnight followed by 1 am , are the darkest and more dangerous hours of the day. Tough, they are 2 different faces of the same medal. When the night falls you know that it going darker by the minutes, till midnight , which represents the end of the day and the darkest instant. You can't go further than this, because after midnight , a new day born, a new counting time starts and the darkness slowly fade away. And even if the first few hours of the day still feels like night, the light is coming at the horizon, with the promises of a new beginning.
"It's been ages since I last had so much fun" Blair commented, getting into the limo. Chuck slipped next to her
"And, this Yves Saint Laurent bow was perfect for the occasion!" She didn't waste time to sit on his legs and play cheerfully with the bowtie she had personally bought for him.
A few minutes of happiness passed. They had both missed so much their moments of intimacy, spent after the family brunches or the night out at the operas, into the limo on their way home.
Enjoying that peace, felt like a way back in the past, the same one which had changed them forever. A huge sense of guilt hit Chuck. He had run away from the things which had hurt him the most for so long only to realize that it only made things worse.
That thought changed his mood. They couldn't push away their sorrow and pretend that everything was fine because it wasn't. They needed to share their pain, to talk about it, to cry over it together.
The image of a missing life together with their son hit him again, like during all the days alone, fighting it with all his strengths. He stiffened.
Blair, who was still playing with his bowtie, sitting on him with her head on his shoulder, sensed it.
"What's going on Chuck? Did I say something wrong?" She suddenly asked him even if her talk with Serena was starting echoing in her mind.
She wasn't ready to let go of that moment of joy with him. She didn't want that their bubble of happiness where they had hidden for the entire week to burst.
Chuck moved a little in order to be able to look her in the eyes, even if one of his hands placed on her waist to hold her there on him and the other one lifted up her chin.
"I won't survive if I'd lose you again. You know it, right?" he asked her with his eyes deeply staring into hers. Nate was right on that count.
For them, pretending had always been the best way to avoid the pain, but life had taught them that the only way they had to be together was to be true to each other, to let each other in and have faith in their love.
When they had stopped from communicating to each other or hid their feelings, in the past, they had destroyed what they had, lost their minds and their hearts, held on to fantasy lives to survive under other names or thanks to someone else's smile.
"We won't leave each other anymore…" she quickly replied, desperately convincing herself about it. "Right?" she finally asked him, feeling weak under his serious gaze.
If one thing had really scared them the most since the very first time, it was not the hurt and the lies, it was not their devious and devils mind, but the truth.
The truth of desiring each other, the truth of falling for each other, the truth of belonging to each other, the truth of accepting and forgiving everything of the other, the truth of being their real self only with each other, the truth of suffering and growing due to each other mistakes. Sometimes the truth had tied them together, sometimes it had tired them apart, sometime it had scared them and leaded them to be cowards, but the truth had always made them come back to each other, the truth itself had always come back to them.
Chuck stroke down the wall of omissions and fears.
"I love you Blair.." he said with a firm voice and eyes full of emotion. "You've always been the most important thing of my life"
That revelation made Blair take a relief breath. She couldn't contain a smile.
She hadn't heard those 3 words for years. Even during their European week of passion he had never said those words. They had spent days physically and materially showing each other how much they have missed the other, but it hadn't been the time for confessions, just yet.
The way Chuck had pronounced those words made her feel a shiver down her back.
He rarely showed his feelings, if not necessary.
"Say it again" she ordered him, gently caressing his cheeks. Chuck's eyes deeply stared into hers before accepting the challenge.
"I love you" he repeated with a shy smile remembering the first time he had said it to her. Many things had changed since then, but not his feelings for her.
Then he became serious again. She knew that the time had come.
"I love you Blair and when we'll be ready we'll built our family... and we'll have other babies..."
Blair lowered her gaze while a tear poured down her cheek.
"What if I can't have babies anymore?" It was her worst fear. It was her fault if their first child was gone. She couldn't look him in the eyes because she had killed his legacy and their future.
She couldn't accept it.
Chuck caressed her cheeks and forced her to look back at him.
"It was not your fault Blair" he whispered softly.
Blair eyes opened wide. He was the only one who had never said it. His words sounded like redemptions.
She suddenly shook her head. They didn't change anything. They didn't change the fact that she had lost their baby.
"It'll take time..." he preceded while she kept on shaking her head. "We'll need time… And even if you won't want try again… I'll be there, because... You are my family Blair… You and I" he promised, never leaving her eyes.
Even during the worst period of their relationship, deep inside of her, Blair had always known his feeling toward her. However, what he was confessing, left her speechless.
Chuck wanted that baby. Chuck wanted to become the father of her babies, but if she didn't want to have babies anymore, it would have never made a difference to him.
He loved her and he would have stayed with her for the rest of her life because she was his family.
The fact that he could be willing to renounce his legacy to protect her from her pain, suffocated her.
She wanted to have Chuck's babies. She couldn't live in a world where he thought that she didn't want to carry his offspring anymore.
It was the only thing she desired the most.
She would have loved and accepted his babies at any conditions, for the same reasons he was renouncing to them.
"I wanted him" she confessed him, admitting it out loud for the very first time.
She had cried so much, knowing that a part of Chuck was not inside of her anymore, not to feel anything anymore. It had been like losing him all over again, like feeling as life didn't mattered anymore.
"I know it" he simply replied, while pulling her to him. "Me too" he held her closer and caressed her hairs.
He closed his eyes while they were both crying their lost son.
"Nate?"
"Serena! What are you doing here?" He asked, finding her in the kitchen.
"And since when do you bake?" she looked surprised, putting a finger into the dough to taste it.
Nate tried to answer her but she interrupted him.
"I can't believe it!" she yelled with a strange light in her eyes. "Who is she? Do I know her?"
"Wait… How do you know it?" Nate looked confused.
"I knew it! OMG!" Serena shouted, clapping her hands like a baby placed in front of a surprise.
"I see I can't hide anything fro you..."
"So… Who is she?" She got closer with a detective tone of voice.
He fixed her for a second. Did he have to tell her? The way her eyes were begging him made him fall.
"Daphne" he admitted it.
"OMG! I cannot believe it!" Serena looked more than happy. "Does she know it?"
"That I'm cooking for her?"
"No, of course! I meant… Does she know that you like her?"
"I invited her out for dinner and she accepted"
"That's great! Nate! You have no idea how happy I am for you!" she yelled again with a huge smile pictured on her face. "But now, we have to plan your night!"
Chuck showed up at the Harvey 's hangar, where 2 jets were ready to land.
"Look who's back to the real world…" Nicholas leaned against the limo.
"I thought you were already gone" Chuck looked confused. His grandfather had informed him that Nicholas and Daphne would have taken the other family jet an hour before.
"My father still wanted to meet us, but changed the destination. We're waiting for the plane to get ready" Chuck stood in silence, thinking that it sounded strange.
"About Texas ... I apologize…" Chuck tried not to sound pathetic.
"Chuck Bass apologizes..." Nicholas looked around. "Do I have to be afraid of being hit by a meteorite?"
Chuck shook his head with a smirk.
"Poker…Tomorrow night… At the Empire!" Chuck proposed him, holding out his hand in peace.
"Only if I bring the entertainment"
"We have a deal" they shacked their hands.
"I can't believe it! You're organizing an off limits party, for whoever is on a growing phase" Daphne was walking out of her Maserati.
"You love these parties" The both teased her.
"What can I do about it? The last time I emptied your wallet!" she smiled with satisfaction "to both of you, if I may pointing out"
"It's a good reason for me to take a revenge. I want my Lamborghini back" Chuck complained.
"If you want it, you have to win. Or maybe you're afraid to lose your yacht too? I am not Allegra!"
"Miss and Mr Harvey, the jets are ready"
"See you tomorrow, man!" Nicholas hit Chuck on the shoulder to greet him.
"Bring good staff" Chuck reminded him.
"Have I ever disappointed you?" Nicholas assured him, smiling and walking inside of the plane. Chuck shook his head. It felt like the old times.
"Here we are" Daphne was still in front of him.
"Are you sure, you wanna meet that man?" Chuck was still worried about her decision to accompany Nicholas.
"If I survived facing Elisabeth, I think I can" she smiled to let him know that she was ok.
"I don't know... You're acting weird lately.." He deeply stared into her eyes. There was something he was missing and he didn't like it.
"Oh…Look at this coat!" Daphne got closer to adjust his collar. "Let me guess...Blair bought it?" He didn't reply. He simply glanced at the floor with a shy expression. He knew that she was skating over the argument, but he didn't want to press her.
"One day, you'll have an amazing family Chuck"
He quickly raised his eyes back in hers. He didn't expect it.
"… and you babies will love you so much..." There was melancholy in Daphne's voice. He knew the reason why and it made his heart ache for her.
"How can you be so sure?" he asked her.
She gently caressed his cheek with a lightening smile on her face.
"Because if you'll love them as much as you two love each other, they'll be the most love spoiled child of the entire planet".
Chuck couldn't help but smile. He knew how much it cost to her to say it, so it meant much more to him.
"Thank you… not just for this, but for everything you've done... for both of us"
"Oh please! Spare me…" she admonished him. "When you'll have a family and I'll be there every single day, you won't be that grateful" she teased him.
He stared at her, enchanted by the way she always changed the subject.
"I love you" he finally confessed her, taking her by surprise.
He had never said those words to her. He was not that kind of a brother. Daphne was aware that it was a rare and really special moment.
"Me too" she reminded him, with a sweet smile. Then she lowered her gaze.
"When I'll come back, I have a very important thing to do..." Chuck listened to her, noticing how difficult it was to her to say it. "... I don't know if I can do it alone" she finally looked back at him. She was asking him to be there for her.
"Whatever it is, I'm in" he placed his hands on her shoulders.
She was trusting him, and he would have never disappointed her. He'd always be there for her, anytime.
Daphne nodded in agreement and took a deep breath. Asking her brother's help, had been less difficult than what she had thought.
"I should go" she smiled. "Please, say hi to Blair for me and take care of yourself".
His sister threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.
"I'll do it" he instinctively tightened the hold for a while, before feeling her slipping away.
He followed her profile with his gaze. She hurried up the plane stairs and disappeared from his eyes.
"The plane will land in 5 minutes. May I bring you something in the mean time?"
"A coffee please" Daphne kindly replied.
"A scotch for me.." Nicholas did the same.
"I see, A leopard can't change its spots!" she commented, staring at his smirk.
"Don't touch my Jack" he agreed, quoting an old Italian advertisement.
Daphne smiled and turned her gaze over Chuck, who was running up his jet stairs.
"I hate to admit it, but you were right…" She stated after a long silence.
"About what?" he questioned her, watching her following her brother with her eyes.
"I confused our past with their present" she felt guilty. "I couldn't stay out of it"
"You just wanted him not to do what I did" Nicholas justified her.
She slowly turned back to stare at him, but the sadness he found made him glance down.
"It doesn't exist a day when I don't regret what I've done to our daughter" Nicholas confessed, interrupting the silence. He lifted up his eyes back on her.
She looked frightened to talk about it, but they both knew it was about the time to do it.
He slowly slipped his hands and took hers.
The strong tight of his grip made her glanced down at their intertwined hands. He was scared to lose the grip, to let them go, once and for all.
"I've always wished that my father could love me someday"
Nicholas looked at their hands, unable to stand the emotions on Daphne's face. He had to tell her, he had to take that load off his heart. He had hidden it for so long that he couldn't live with it anymore.
He winced, then he got back cold.
"I did to my daughter, what he did to me" There was disdain his voice. Remorse and disdain for his own choices.
"Nicholas.." Daphne tried to interrupt him but he stopped her.
"No! I killed our daughter, long before she came to life" He looked straight to her, pronouncing that sentence with anger.
Her stomach burned. He was finally confessing her how he felt. She knew that he wasn't responsible for the death of their child, but she wasn't able to object.
"I know that telling it now doesn't change anything.." he glanced back down. "We had it all..." He reminded with melancholy. He was talking about something lost, that he wasn't ready to let go just yet.
After a long moment of silence, he stared back at her.
"We can come back to what we were Daphne... allow me to do it... I can be forgiven...we can start over…" he asked her, like every single time he tried to believe it.
Daphne trembled.
She felt confused by the strength of his hands on hers, by the warmness of his promises, by the depth of his sorrow, by the wonderful prospective of that weak illusion. In spite of all, She was still in love with him, more than how she could have thought possible.
"I will always love you Nicholas…" she admitted with a sweet smile, making his eyes softening.
"You and I are the same. We belong together" he brought her hand to his mouth to kiss it with emphasis.
She had just given him a fake hope, so she had to find all the power in her body to get till the end of it.
They belonged together but it wasn't enough anymore. They were driving on two different tracks, too many obstacles were still on their path and despite their feelings, they weren't strong enough to stand by each other's side.
Nicholas sensed her difficulty. She loved him, but she had something else left to say.
"I can't come back with you" She confessed him needing all the courage she had left to admit it. "I'm different now. I need something different. You made me really happy, but things changed...".
Nicholas felt it.
He glanced down to control his emotions. It was all. She didn't want him anymore. Everything they had been through had killed them instead of making them stronger. She was asking him to let her go, let her live a life without him, let her smile at someone else, maybe spend the rest of her life in someone else's arms.
She tightened the hold of his hands.
"There was a time when you smiled at me that way you did with him" Nicholas swallowed in resignation, thinking back at the family dinner, when he had seen her, smiling at Nate with a different light in her eyes.
Daphne didn't need further explanations. Many years before, he had told her that he wanted to see her smiling, because her smile made her shine.
"I feel the need to stand on my own foot and give myself a challenge. I've been weak for so long..." She reasoned, holding back the tears.
"You know what you are asking me?" he asked her with watery and desperate eyes.
"If I wasn't sure about it I wouldn't do it.." she whispered, staring deeply into his eyes.
The man in front of her was not presumptuous. It wasn't a selfish man, unable to lose her. He wasn't the self-centred man who hurt the others first, to protect himself.
He was the boy she had fallen in love on a balcony, the one who brought her pistachio ice cream when she was sad and the same one who satisfied her needs taking her up against a wall.
He was staring into her eyes, understanding her real need, as anyone else would have done in a lifetime. She would have never loved someone else as him. She would have never hated, understood or forgiven any other guy like she had done with him.
If fate existed, Nicholas had been her destiny, no matter what had happened between them, or even if their relationship hadn't lived through it.
"May I ask you something?" he simply said, breaking the silence. She nodded in agreement.
"Will you hold my hand like that night?" he shyly asked her, well aware that when they would have left the plane, everything would have changed. She'd have turned away and took an opposite street from his, without looking back.
She tried to smile, but the tears had started to pour down her cheeks.
She couldn't say word. In that very moment the only thing she could do was feeling. And the only thing she felt was that she was already missing him so much.
"Good morning beautiful" Chuck answered the phone call, taking a seat on his jet.
"How could you leave without saying hi? You know how I get in a state when I don't receive a properly good morning wakeup call!" Blair accused him from under the dove, on the other side of the line. She was pretty cross.
"I had to leave soon. And, after what we've done tonight I thought you wanted to rest" he justified himself, knowing that the memory of the previous night would have calmed her.
"Actually, as you couldn't take your hands off of me; I'm gonna stay in bed all day" she skittish replied to him, biting her own lip. "By the way, where are you?"
"On the family jet. The grandfather wants me to wrap up a business deal in Boston on his behalf"
"Are you telling me that I'll stay all day long in this huge bed all by myself?" she sounded disappointed.
"I think so, unfortunately"
Blair giggled, hearing him say it in a bothered tone.
"Even if I'd say that I wanted to cook you the pie you love so much?" she provoked him.
"You don't know how much I hate leaving" he explained, touching his tie. "But I promise I'll make up to you. Tonight, I'll bring you out for dinner. Just the two of us"
"I don't know... I should check my agenda... Haven't you heard? The Financial Times talks about me as a 'pillar' of the Harvey 's Company" she played with him.
"I guess, that knowing that I booked the new restaurant in front of the ESB just for us, could please you"
"You have made a reservation there? How?" Blair was surprised. Having a reservation there, was practically impossible.
"I became an associate"
"Since when?" That was new to her.
"An hour and 25 minutes ago"
She couldn't believe it. He had bought that place just because she wanted to have dinner there! Walking the front door of that restaurant would have meant being on top.
"Considering the amount you had paid to satisfy my wish, I suppose I can't call myself out". She pretended to be detached. Luckily he couldn't see the bright gigantic smile placed on her face.
"It would be unforgettable…" he agreed, knowing that he had won.
"See you at 8, Bass"
"Actually..."
"Yes?.." she knew he had something in mind.
"I was thinking that I can come earlier and taste your pie..." he proposed with his deep low sensual voice.
"Too bad for you, Bass! No pie for lunch, no pie till after dinner!" she ended the conversation, leaving him with an amused expression.
"Dan?" Serena saw him walking out of the Waldorf's elevator.
"Serena? I just stopped by, to see how Blair is doing?" he informed her, while she was standing up from the sofa.
"She's upstairs to bring a few dvd"
"Oh look who's here! Humphrey you're just in time for a Grace Kelly marathon!" Blair had no make-up on, and she was wearing a dressing gown. She looked as relaxed and happy as at the Harvey 's dinner with Chuck.
"I'll go, getting some ice cream" Serena decided to leave them alone.
Blair arrived in front of Dan.
"I just wanted to know how were you going". He looked really worried.
"You knew…" Blair realized, lowering her gaze on her belly to hide her sad eyes from him.
"Why haven't you told me?"
"I wanted..." she looked back at him to reassure him. "But I couldn't…"
"I would have stood by you" he confessed, taking her hands in his own.
"I know, and you've been there even if you didn't know it.." she sincerely explained with a shy smile.
"Blair..." he glanced down at their hands "There's something I need to tell you"
"If you want to drag me along with you to watch Schindler's list, you better not even ask me" she teased him.
"It's an amazing movie"
"So… what were you going to tell me?" she asked with opened eyes full of curiosity.
"Blair... I..."
"We interrupt the regular programmes due to a last minute news" Blair placed her eyes on the tv newscast, forcing Dan to do the same.
"A private jet crashed in the Hudson river a few minutes ago"
Blair's heart started to beat faster. She quickly ran to the tv to turn on the sound.
"A terrorist attack?" Dan suddenly wondered.
"No one crashes in a cold river to attempt someone life, Humphrey!" Blair nervously replied to him. Chuck was on a plane. Chuck could have been on that plane.
"What happened?" Serena approached them, coming back from the kitchen with the ice cream.
"A plane fell in the Hudson river " Dan explained to her.
"We still have no official information about the plane and who was on it, but sources confirm us that the aids are already on place... Ok, We've been told that there's a home video of the crash... as you can see, the little jet comes from the north, then it loses control and falls into the river"
"Oh my God" Blair's voice echoed in the room. She took a hand on her mouth.
"That's..." Dan couldn't believe it.
"The Harvey 's private jet" Serena was shocked.
Blair's legs felt weak, She couldn't stand on her foot. It was as been sucked in a vortex, as the ground was disintegrating under her foot.
It couldn't be Chuck's plane, she kept on begging in her head but never stopping looking at the video in front of her.
She hadn't realized the Dan has stopped her from falling either.
She didn't care about anything. Chuck was on a plane. That plane that kept on crashing in front of her eyes could be his plane.
"Sources confirm us that the plane is property of the Harvey family. It landed 10 minutes ago from the JFK. It seems that the young NY billionaire Charles Bass is on that plane, but this is not official yet"
"I's not possible" Serena couldn't believe it.
She looked at Blair, who was crying terrified on the sofa.
Serena couldn't bare what she was reading in her best friend's eyes. It couldn't be true. It wasn't happening. Chuck and Blair didn't deserve it.
Nicholas is afraid of heights and when he thinks he is in trouble, he acts like a child. He put his foot down and desperately sights waiting for his mother. I found it out the third time I saw him. He had cheated playing poker, so his rivals had tied him on the balcony, against the highest pillar of the house.
When I went out, I found him there, naked with only his boxer on, with his eyes closed not to look down and owned by the panic. For a moment I had fun, watching the spoiled and arrogant guy, who had treated me like a mercy, begging for my help with all his strengths.
Moved by some sort of compassion I helped him. He was still so shocked and scared that we sat half an hour on the ground with his hand firmly tight to mine. I've never told him, that I would have stayed there, with my hand intertwined in his, for hours, if only he'd asked it.