Document created: October 18, 2015 12:25 a.m
Date and time finished: July 17, 2016

My Return + Chapter 11
The Best Stress Reliever

Saturday, June 28, 2013

"You are all mine," Felix breathes against my lips.

"Yes, yours," I say breathlessly, and our mouths crash together once, my hands fisting in his unruly blonde hair as our tongues meet and dance in a battle of dominance.

Without breaking our kiss, he suddenly drags me up into a sitting position and grabs hold of the hem of my t-shirt, whipping it over my head with one swift move and throws it to the floor.

"I want to feel all of you," he says against my mouth as his hands move to my back to undo my bra. He undoes the clasp, pushing the straps down my arms, and in one swift move, it's off and he tosses it onto the floor.

He pushes me back down onto the bed and climbs up my body, and leaning down, his mouth and hand move to my breasts. My fingers curl into his hair as he takes one of my nipples between his lips and tugs hard. I gasp and whimper as the sensation sweeps through my entire body, tightening all the muscles in my belly and groin.

"Oh yeah, let me hear you baby," Felix murmurs huskily against my over heated skin.

Damn, I want him inside of me now. With his mouth he toys with my nipple, making me squirm and throw my head back and yearn for him. I sense his longing in how much he's missed me. We've both missed each other so much. It feels as if he's worshipping me.

He teases me with his fingers, my nipple growing hard as my skin breaks out in goosebumps to his skillful and gentle yet loving touch. His other hand moves down towards my jeans and undoes the button, and tugging the zipper down, he shoves his hand inside my panties, sliding his fingers against my sex. His breath hisses as his finger finds its way into me.

"Mmm, already wet," he breathes huskily as he hovers over me, staring intently into my eyes. "Oh baby, I like that. I like that a lot." His voice is filled with wonder.

"Felix, I want you," I murmur, breathlessly, my eyes wide as he inserts a second finger. "Now."

He smiles and leaning down, his mouth joins mine again, and I feel his hungry desperation and need for me in his kiss, which is new. It's never been like this except when I came back from Florida. I remember how tense he was from the break in situation and the moment he saw me in my return, his tension turned to relief. The way his touch felt drifts into my mind and the thought unravels me, knowing that I have such a big effect on him, that I'm able to offer him comfort and solace, doing this. This is what we do best together

All too soon, he removes his fingers and he sits up, and taking hold of my jeans, he tugs them off along with my panties leaving me naked before his eyes.

Keeping his gaze on me, Felix stands and removes his jeans and then his boxers. He's already hard and as he stands there gazing at me, I take a moment to really admire his naked beauty. Hot damn.

I watch him as moves back to the bed and lying down beside me, he leans and kisses me. This time, the kiss is slow and unrushed. We take our time, savoring each others lips.

"Goddammit, please don't ever leave me again," he breathes against my lips.

He kisses my cheek, his breathing harsh as he hugs me close to him against his body, making me blink in confusion and surprise. I hug him back as I feel him shake. Oh Felix.

"What if you leave me again?" he asks softly as he rests his head on my shoulder.

I feel my heart drop at his words.

"Felix, I won't leave you again," I say as I run my fingers through his hair. "I promise."

He lifts his head and gazes at me. His expression is sincere.

"You mean that?" he asks.

I nod. "Yes." I love you so damn much, Felix, and I would never leave you...

He smiles and reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ear, then softly caresses my cheek. He leans forward, his lips finding mine once again. Suddenly he grabs both of my hands and rolls on to his back.

"I want you on top," Felix says as he pulls me into the straddle position. "I want to see you."

Oh. His request momentarily surprises me but I oblige anyway as he guides me and hesitantly, I ease myself down onto him. Felix closes his eyes and flexes his hips to meet me, filling me, stretching me, his mouth forming a perfect O as he exhales softly.

He holds my hands, and I don't know if it's to keep me steady or keep me from touching his chest, even though I have the lipstick lines to remind me where I can and can't touch him.

"Damn girl, you feel so good," he murmurs softly.

I start to move slowly, looking down at the man I love as I do so, watching him coming apart beneath me. He moves with me, his thrusts slow and gentle. He lets go of my hands, placing his hands on my hips as I place my hands on his arms. He suddenly thrusts into me sharply and I cry out.

"Let me hear you," he says, his voice strained as he thrusts sharply a second time.

I gasp and tip my head back, pleasure building deep inside of me. This is what Felix does so well. I move with him in perfect rhythm, numbing away all the stressful thoughts as I become lost in sensation. Up and down we move together, again and again...Oh yes. I open my eyes and stare down at Felix, my breathing ragged. He's staring back at me, his blue eyes blazing.

"Min kvinna, mitt allt," he whispers.

I smile lazily. "What?" I ask breathlessly.

"It means 'my woman, my everything'," he explains as he reaches up and caresses my cheek lovingly.

I place my hand over his as we continue to slowly move together. "Yes," I rasp. "Forever..."

Felix groans loudly and closes his eyes, tipping his head back. Seeing him coming undone beneath me is enough to send to me to completion, and I come, calling out Felix's name as I collapse on top of him.

"Oh, baby," he groans huskily as he finds his release.

He holds me close, our heavy breathing the only sound in the room. We lay together for I don't know for how long, but eventually I drift off.

When I wake, I notice that my head is on his chest in the no touching area with my cheek nestled against his chest hair. I smile and sigh, resisting the urge to nuzzle him or kiss him since I know that will upset him if I do. After a while, I briefly become aware that Felix is playing with my hair.

I giggle. "Are you enjoying playing with my hair?" I ask.

He chuckles softly. "Yeah it's one of my favorite colors," he says. He spreads each strand of hair out across my back, the length of it almost reaching my back end. "Goddamn you are so fucking beautiful."

I lift my head and furrow my brow, giving him a disbelieving look. He frowns in response to my look and sits up quickly, taking me by surprise, his arms wrapping around my back. I place my arms on his shoulders as we become nose to nose.

"You are beautiful," he says, his face serious. "You need to stop all the self doubting and have more confidence in yourself."

Oh. I blink at him not sure what to say back to him. Rolling his eyes, he lifts off him and eases out of me, making me wince. Leaning forward, he kisses me softly.

"You have no idea just how attractive you are, do you?" he asks.

My cheeks heat with embarrassment. Why's he going on about this. No one found me attractive in high school or at university.

"All those boys chasing after you must be enough of a clue," Felix says, interrupting my thoughts.

I frown. "Boys? What boys?"

Felix grins. "You want an entire list? The photographer, since you went and did "it" with him, that boy in the bookstore, Lily's brother, and practically every guy who saw your nude photo's at the show. And then there's your boss," he adds bitterly.

I gape at him. "That's not true."

"It is. They want you. They want what's mine." He pulls me against him, my hands in his hair. "Mine," he repeats possessively.

"Yes, yours." I reassure for the millionth time today. Jeez Louise.

I kiss his tense jawline and he visibly relaxes. I turn my attention to the lipstick marks that still remain on his beautiful body. I note some smears on the bed cover, though, and briefly wonder if that will ever wash off.

"The map is still intact," I murmur and bravely run my index finger along the mark on his shoulder. He stiffens. "I want to do some exploring."

He looks at me skeptically. "Of the house?"

"Nope, I was thinking of this treasure map that we drew on you." My fingers yearn to touch him everywhere. Oh please just let me touch you...

His eyebrows lift in surprise, and he blinks. I smile and rub my nose against his.

"Please Felix," I say, giving him my best pouty look with puppy dog eyes.

"And what would that involve exactly, Miss Callahan?"

I lift my hand from his shoulder and run my fingertips down his face and jawline.

"I just want to touch you all over," I say as my finger nears his bottom lip.

Felix catches my index finger with his teeth and bites down gently.

"Ouch," I protest and he grins wickedly. "Be careful because I may bite back."

"Ooooh, I'm so scared, bro," he says in amusement. "So you want to touch me, huh?"

I nod.

"Alright," he says, his voice laced with uneasiness.

Felix shifts me so I'm straddling him, leaning against his propped up knees, my feet on either side of him. He leans back, keeping his arms at his sides as he stares up at the ceiling.

"Touch away," he says. He looks nervous, scared even, but I can tell he's trying to hide it.

He continues to stare upwards. I reach down and run my finger underneath the lipstick line, across his stomach just above his navel. He flinches, tensing up beneath me and I stop.

"I don't have to if you're not comfortable," I whisper.

He looks at me. "No it's fine, go ahead. It just takes some getting used to. No one's touched me for a long time."

"Rika?" Her name comes out of my mouth before I'm able to stop myself and surprisingly I manage not to sound bitter.

Felix nods, showing his obvious discomfort. "Lets not talk about her though. It will ruin your good mood."

"I can handle it," I say.

"No, you can't, Elizabeth," he argues. "Every time I mention her, you talk nasty of her. My past is my past and I can't change it. I'm lucky that you don't have a past like mine, because if you did, it would drive me crazy."

I frown. A past like his? Oh no. Does he know about mine? My subconscious has her scream face on.

"What is it?" he asks, tearing me away from my private thoughts.

I shake my head. "It's nothing. Let's not fight, ok?"

He smiles and once more I place my fingers back on his stomach, letting them drift across his skin. He stills again.

"I like touching you," I say softly as my fingers run down to Felix's navel then south towards his happy trail. His lips part as his breathing changes and his erection stirs and twitches beneath me.

I grin at his reaction. "Again?" I ask.

He chuckles. "Hell yeah," he says.

What a great way to spend a Saturday evening. I stand beneath the shower-head, letting the lukewarm water cascade down my back as I recall the last few hours. Felix and vanilla seem to go very well.

He's revealed so much today. It's staggering, trying to take in all this new information. And then there's Marzia, with a gun. I frown. She's still out there somewhere, possibly waiting for the perfect time to strike. But even worse, Mrs. Pedo Andreassen or Lindberg, or whatever the fuck her name is. I still can't seem to wrap my head around her. Maybe Felix is right. I do go off the deep end when I think of her, so perhaps it's best if I stop thinking about all of this.

Turning off the water, I step out of the shower and as I grab a towel to dry myself, I'm suddenly seized by unexpected anger.

Who wouldn't go off the deep end to hearing about child molestation. What normal, sane person would do all that fucked up shit to a thirteen year old boy? Just how much damage did she cause him? I don't understand her.

I think of all those scars he has from his childhood. It saddens me just to think what he went through. My poor, sweet Swedish YouTuber. He's said such loving things today. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, smiling at the memory of his words and gentle touches, my heart brimming with joy once more as my face transforms with a ridiculous wide grin. Perhaps we can make this work after all. But how long will he want to do this vanilla relationship without wanting to beat the shit out of me because I break a rule? The smile vanishes from my face and my subconscious stares at me blankly. For once she offers no snarky words of wisdom. We're both stumped.

I head back into the bedroom to dress. Felix is nowhere in the room and assume he's upstairs freshening up, so I have the bedroom all to myself. As well as all the dresses and other various things in the big walk in closet, I also have drawers full of new underwear and lace nightgowns. I rummage through the chest of drawers, coming across a white corset with a price tag of $700. Holy fuck. It has a lace trim that is see through with a pair of lace panties to match. Wow, how kinky...and kind of sexy.

As I retrieve it from the drawer, Felix appears in the doorway, making me jump. Whoa, you could knock! He stands immobilized, staring at me in confusion. I blush crimson everywhere as my cheeks burn with embarrassment since he's caught me half naked in my own bedroom holding a kinky looking corset. I notice he's wearing a tuxedo and I raise an eyebrow. What the?

I giggle. "What's with the fancy get-up? On your way to the opera or something?"

Felix grins. "Actually yes. I just logged onto Twitter and got an invite to the opera for YouTuber night."

My jaw drops. "You're kidding," I say. "Lemme see that." I hold out my hand, motioning for his phone.

He moves away from the door and making his way around the bed to me, he hands over the phone. I take it and look at the screen, seeing the invite re-tweeted by Joey Graceffa.

"This is tonight," I say. I hand his phone back to him as he smiles.

"Certainly is," he says. He frowns. "Don't know why I'm just now hearing about it, but whatever. Would you like to come along as my date?"

Oh. I smile up at him. "I'd love to," I say. "I've never been to the opera before."

The Swedish man chuckles and leans down to kiss me on my forehead. "Another first."

"Well then I must get dressed up, sir. Is there anything else you want?" I give him my no-nonsense stare.

He retaliates with a mischievous grin and pulls the silver ball thingys from his jacket pocket, stopping me in my tracks as I stare wide eyed at them. Holy crap! He wants to spank me right now?

"It's not what you think," Felix says quickly. "I just thought you could wear these tonight."

"To the opera?" I ask, shocked.

"Yes."

"With hundreds, maybe thousands of people around us?"

Felix nods slowly.

Oh my. Should I?

"Are you going to spank me later?"

He shakes his head. "No."

For a moment, I feel a small stab of disappointment. Barnacles. My subconscious crosses her arms and pouts.

He laughs, seeing my obvious disappointment. "Why, do you want me to?"

I swallow and bite my bottom lip in thought. A part of me says yes, but the other says no.

"Well, whether you want me to or not, I'm not going to touch you like that, even if you beg me," he says.

I gape at him and he grins. Playing hard to get, eh?

"So do you want to play this game? You can always take them out if you start to feel uncomfortable."

I gaze at him. He looks so wickedly tempting and drop dead fucking handsome - unruly blonde just fucked hair, blue eyes dancing with naughty erotic thoughts, his lips raised in an amused smile.

"Okay," I say softly. Fuck yeah! My inner goddess and subconscious have both found their voices as they shout from the rooftops of San Francisco.

"Good girl," Felix says with a grin. "Get dressed then come see me in the living room. We leave at 8:30."

He turns and exits the room, closing the door behind him, leaving me a raging mess of hormones. I glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 7:59. Crap! I scurry into the walk in closet and grab the fanciest dress that hopefully is appropriate to fit the dress code of an opera.