Two weeks later …
The assault on Icecrown Citadel and the Lich King was imminent but those that fought in Ulduar were granted a couple weeks rest in Dalaran. It was sorely needed and not only for the physical wounds, which would heal quickly, but for the mental and emotional ones. Those, inflicted with the sting of words rather than the slash of swords, would take much, much longer to heal. While Rae didn't know what everyone heard during that battle it was clear that each of the survivors had malicious things whispered in their minds, things that had shaken them all to the core. For the first few days they were back in the city she wouldn't even leave the room she and Mila were sharing in the Citadel. All she wanted was rest and to avoid people; Rae knew that if she had to talk and interact with anyone at the moment she would probably say things she would regret later. When they finally felt up to leaving the safety of their room they made their way to the Legerdemain Lounge where they knew they could not only get a good meal but also find a rather secluded table that would keep them from having to talk with others more than necessary.
After staring at the familiar menu for some time, Rae ordered her usual shoveltusk steak and vegetables though she made sure to add a healthy sized mug of ale as well. They sat in companionable silence for several minutes longer, glancing around at the other patrons of the inn.
"Odd, isn't it, how so many in our world have no idea the sacrifices a select few make to keep them safe?" Taking a sip of the ale she nodded at Mila. "They walk around seemingly without a care in the world, many not even caring what others have lost."
Twisting one of the rings on her fingers, Rae searched for something to say. She knew she had not endured as much as her friend, had not suffered in the same way. "Perhaps it is better that the majority are not aware of the dangers, the evil that lurks in all the shadows of this world … or that are even hiding in plain sight," she added, thinking of Onxyia's clever disguise. "Imagine what chaos would envelope our world if everyone knew what is really out there waiting."
Mila sipped on her own drink then nodded. "I suppose you are right but it doesn't take the sting away from the fact that the personal damage each of us takes matters not to anyone else."
"I suppose that is another sacrifice we must stomach in order to keep Azeroth safe."
"There is a limit to how much one can give up." The words were spoken softly but Rae could still hear them over the conversation around them. Glancing at the mage across the table her heart went out to her. Mila had never regained that vivacity, that thirst for life and adventure and fun that she had possessed when they'd first met all those years ago in the Stormwind Academy. The woman before her bore only the most superficial resemblances to the one she'd been before Outlands. Eyes that had once sparkled with laughter and eagerness now only held resignation and sadness. Mila's face appeared careworn and older than her years. Gone were the bright, sparkling robes and cloaks, replaced with much more somber, subdued garments. Rae realized she would give anything to find herself in a situation where she had to admonish her friend for running after another solider. She stared down at her steak, again twisting the rings on her fingers. There was nothing she could do to help her friend, nothing she could say that would help heal what was broken inside. Only time would be able to heal those invisible wounds and they would undoubtedly leave scars.
"Yes. I am tired. I do not want to see more friends and allies mutilated, tortured, burned beyond recognition, or lose their sanity." Mila took another long drink, her eyes gazing absently out the window behind them. "I am ready to go home. I want to see my parents, Southshore, Arathi. I want to wake up in the morning and hear the water lapping at the docks knowing that I have nothing more pressing than picking the weeds from the garden. I'm ready for a normal life."
"I will be sorry to see you go. What ever will I do without you by my side?" She reached across the table and gripped her friend's hand. "I sometimes wish to see Goldshire again and – "
Mila shook her head. "You still have that drive inside you, Rae, the drive to play a part in the fortunes of this world, to fight for the greater good. It hasn't been driven out yet. Hold on to it as long as you can ... but just remember that one day you will find you have nothing left to give." She squeezed her hand then directed her attention to her fish, seemingly done with this particular conversation. Rae couldn't blame her. It was rather depressing.
"Did you ever ask about those?" The question caught her off guard and she just stared with a look of confusion on her face. Mila rolled her eyes, reaching out and tapping her fingers with the end of her fork. "Your rings. Have you asked about them yet?"
"Oh! No. I haven't found the time to corner Rhonin. Once we're done in Icecrown and things have settled I'll try to find him. It doesn't seem right to bother him or anyone about something to trivial right now."
"Maybe it's not trivial."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you not remember what happened while we were fighting Yogg-Saron and I was grabbed up by one of those disgusting tentacles?" She nodded. "And do you not remember the energy that was snaking up your arm after you made it drop me?"
Peering down at her hands she frowned. "I do but I don't think that signifies anything."
"Rae, we've trained and fought together for many years. I know your capabilities … and I've never seen such a surge of power from you as I witnessed then." She tapped her fingers again. "You need to find out the history of these rings and what power is contained within them."
While Mila went back to her meal she continued to stare at her hands, slowly turning them so the gems in the rings sparkled up at her. Now that it had been brought up she easily recalled the rush she'd felt as that surge of energy poured through her and the way the blue sparked around her arms. It reminded her of the day in the barn loft when she and Lane had first seen her power manifest. They had just buried Evelien and she'd been upset, angry even. Perhaps her emotions were somehow tied to it? She had been terrified for Mila in that moment … maybe whatever was in the rings fed off that? It was certainly something worth considering.
"There you are! Finally decided to return to the land of the living?"
She stifled a groan at the thoughtlessness of Gaige's words. He meant well, they both knew that, but phrasing it in such a way after the conversation they'd just had would not do anything good to Mila's state of mind. Rae contented herself with a glare in his direction then motioned to the other chairs at the table.
"We didn't come for a drink, unfortunately. The call just went out: everyone is to report to the Skybreaker within the hour to leave for Icecrown." His statement brought the heavy mantle of responsibility back down on her shoulders. She had hoped they would have a little bit more time. Mila visibly sighed but rose from the table without a word and made her way out the door. Her exit even gave Gaige pause.
"Is she alright?"
She glared at him again. "No, she is not alright. She hasn't been alright since the Black Temple."
His shoulders slumped a bit and he nodded, his face now somber. "That was careless of me. I should have known … and I came up to the two of you seeming to brim with excitement over heading to face Arthas." He glanced out the door. "Perhaps it would be best if she didn't come on this one with us."
Rae shook her head as she came to her feet. "Mila is ready to do her part but she's told me that this is her last mission. When we are done here she's going home."
Gaige nodded. "Time away will do her good."
"I don't think she will ever return to this way of life. She's seen more than enough."
"Well, I hope she returns after some much needed rest; she's great in a fight." He gave her shoulder an absentminded pat. "I've got to go make sure all the other guys are ready to go on time. I'll see you in an hour."
"You are right to be concerned for Mila," Velred said at her side. "When one has suffered a loss as she did sometimes time cannot even heal the wound."
After tossing money for their meal on the table Rae allowed the draenai to lead her out of the Lounge. "I know she is hurting inside and I just feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do physically to help; I've never been good with words."
"Remaining by her side, letting her know that you are there for her is the best medicine you could give. To have watched the one she loved die in such a way and then to experience all the trials we've been through here it is no wonder she feels broken inside."
"I want what is best for my friend, I don't want her to suffer, but I will miss her when she leaves. Except for the months she, Gaige, Rain, and my brother were in Outlands we've been by each other's side since we were teenagers. We've always had each other's backs. It will be … strange."
"Having one you can trust by your side in battle is the best way to survive. You have to know you can count on those around you to do their part and that is a hard thing to replace."
"Well, at least I will still have you and Gaige, right? Maybe Lane will be ready to join us again when we return to Stormwind." The more she thought about it, though, the more she wondered if her brother would want to take up his sword again. After all, he went through the horrors of the Black Temple just as Mila had and Rain had been his best friend. She was suddenly overcome with a desire to see the only member of their family she had left; it had been so long since she'd heard Lane's voice teasing her. They halted at the base of the steps leading up to the Violet Citadel, Velred tipping her head up towards him. "And how are you faring, Raegan?"
"I'm … alright. The echoes of the words that beast put in my head still haunt me but it's starting to get a bit easier to ignore them. I knew there was no truth in them, that Yogg was trying to manipulate each of us, but that doesn't take away the sting of hearing them."
"Words can cut deeper than weapons sometimes and their wounds take much, much longer to heal."
"I'd much rather deal with the healers tending to a cut on my side than physiological mumbo-jumbo," she replied with a smirk.
He grinned down at her. "That sounds much more like the Raegan I know. Now, I have a few things to take care of before we depart so I will see you on the Skybreaker."
She hurried up the steps after he left her, belatedly realizing how much time had passed while they had talked. At least there wasn't much to do before they left; she'd left pretty much everything in her pack upon their return from Ulduar knowing they'd be leaving again soon.
Mila was sitting on her bed, her bag and staff laying next to her, when she entered their room. Rae could tell she didn't want to talk at the moment and so refrained from asking if she was okay. It was such a ridiculous question sometimes. Throwing the remaining items she needed in her pack she threw it over her shoulder and grabbing up her own staff from its spot against the wall she turned to her friend.
"Do you think you'll ever be high enough in command to have someone do all your packing for you?" Mila asked as they strode out the door, a hint of amusement in her voice.
Pleased to hear it she grinned. "I doubt I'll ever be that important but I don't want anyone messing with my things. I know where everything is and can find what I need quickly."
"You mean you just don't want anyone else seeing how messy you are."
"Well, there is that, too," Rae replied with a chuckle.
.
A few hours later found her standing on the top most deck of the Skybreaker watching as the spires of Icecrown Citadel grew larger and larger ahead of them. The wind blowing in her face felt like an icy knife cutting into her skin but she merely wrapped her cloak tighter around her shoulders. It was a good reminder of what they were headed towards. She could sense the difference within herself as they grew nearer to their destination compared to her mindset before Ulduar. While there was a feeling of purpose and determination the excitement of finally being a part of such a mission was gone. Her one fight against Onxyia had not prepared her for what'd she'd experienced in Ulduar … and she was well aware Icecrown was going to be worse. They had been briefed on what they might expect to encounter once they entered the complex but their information could not be confirmed. "Might" and "maybe" certainly didn't make her feel any more confident in their plans … which pretty much boiled down to stay alive and don't stand in anything on the floor. She cast a glance over the deck of the airship, her eyes hovering on each figure for a moment. It was an odd sensation knowing that some of the people around her would not set foot on board the ship again, that in less than twenty four hours some (or all) of them would be dead. Everyone of them had a target on their backs but it was up to fate to decide if their time was up; nothing they could do could change their destiny. With a shrug of her shoulders Rae left the deck and her depressing thoughts to seek her friends inside the warmer interior of the Skybreaker.