Chapter Thirteen - Information

Rowena felt as though the room was getting smaller and smaller. The hospital room was becoming nauseating to look at, it was all white and Rowena sometimes kept her eyes closed a lot of the time. Albus came to visit her once a day which was becoming annoying. He would ask her questions but Rowena didn't answer any of them except to tell him that she was feeling fine.

Right now, it was morning and it has been about a month since she left her father and his followers. Albus has yet to let her leave the hospital and today Rowena's patience had run out. She looked at the clock on her bedside table, it was nearly ten. Albus should be here very soon.

And sure enough, when the clock hit ten o'clock exactly the door to her room opened and Albus walked in. He looked over at her and smiled as he closed the door behind him. He approached her bed and he conjured a chair and sat down. He was wearing long, grey robes which touched the floor and a small, matching wizard's hat. Rowena looked at him. She said nothing.

'How are we today?'

'I'm fine,' Rowena said quietly, now looking away.

'What's wrong?' he asked softly.

'I want to leave this room and this hospital.'

'Why?'

'Because I've been here since I was rescued and I'm sick of it. I'm now healed and healthy. Why can't I leave?' asked Rowena hastily.

'I know you are healthy but you haven't told me anything about what happened?'

'And you need me here to talk?' she asked frowning.

'No,' he said calmly. 'But here the staff can look after you and…'

'Keep an eye on me, you mean,' said Rowena, interrupting.

'Alright, since you are unhappy here, I could take you to Grimmauld Place but you have to stay there,' Albus said, after a long moment of thought.

'Why would I have to stay there? I'm of age; I should be allowed to go anywhere I want.'

'And where would you like to go?'

Rowena went quiet and said nothing. She folded her arms across her chest. She hated Albus for saying that. He got her. She could answer that questions but it would raise too many other ones, ones that she wouldn't be able to answer. She didn't want Albus to start doubting her now.

'That's what I thought,' Albus said quietly.

Albus stood up from his chair and waved his wand and the chair disappeared. Still using his wand, he opened the bedside table and packed Rowena's things inside a small bag which he held onto. 'Let's go then.'

Rowena got up off the bed and she left the room with him. Albus spoke briefly to the hospital staff before leading Rowena outside they walked to a small alleyway, where Rowena held onto Albus' arm and they apparated to Grimmauld Place.

Once inside, they both went upstairs and Albus placed her things in her room. Rowena stood in the doorway, patiently waiting for him to finish and leave. Albus turned to her and looked her over before moving over to her. His blue eyes searched her eyes but Rowena looked away quickly.

'Look at me,' Albus said quietly.

Rowena shook her head and she walked away and sat on her bed. Albus walked to the door and put his hand on the door knob but he stopped and looked at Rowena again.

'I do hope you're not hiding anything from me. I do not wish to lose you,' he said quietly.

Rowena looked up at him and she watched him leave. She then felt tears sting the back of her eyes but she held them back. The last thing she's ever wanted was for Albus to be disappointed in her. Since she was little she's wanted Albus to say he was proud of her but she has yet to hear it.

The next morning, Rowena went into the kitchen and she stopped at the door. Many members of the Order were sitting at the table, including Albus. Rowena looked at Remus, who was staring at her almost coldly. Rowena knew he saw her the night of the raid but she only hoped that Remus couldn't be sure of what he saw.

'Rowena, come and sit down with us,' said Albus.

'Why?' Rowena asked slowly.

'We want to have a little talk.'

'I don't want to talk,' Rowena said quietly.

'Come and sit down,' repeated Albus.

Reluctantly, Rowena walked over to the table and she sat down. She made sure not to sit next to anyone else. She looked around the table. Everyone had their eyes on her, except for Remus, who finally looked away in disgust. The look didn't pass Rowena, who noticed immediately.

'Do you have a problem with me?' Rowena asked, almost standing up.

Albus moved quicker than Rowena had ever seen and he placed a hand on her shoulder. Rowena jerked her body away and Albus got the message and he moved his hand. 'Just relax,' he said softly.

Rowena still had her eyes on Remus. 'No, I want to know why you have such a vast problem with me.'

Remus' jaw seemed to tighten. 'Because I saw you the night of the raid, you left with the Death Eaters willingly,' he said loudly, as though he could no longer hold it in.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' Rowena said back.

'No, of course you don't,' said Remus heatedly.

'Stop it, both of you. This won't help anyone,' Albus said firmly.

The room went quiet and then, Rowena remembered what he wanted from Albus. 'I know you have my wand,' she said quietly. 'I want it back.'

'Of course,' said Albus. 'I was going to give it to you at the hospital but you wouldn't need it there.'

'Have it checked did you?' she asked venomously.

'I do not understand what you mean,' Albus said sitting down.

'To see what spells and charms I've been using, to see what I've been up to,' she said, her eyes narrowing.

'Rowena,' Albus said clearly. 'I do trust you. You're not anyone's enemy here.'

'Then why is everyone hostile to me, why do people stare?' she questioned angrily.

'Well, you haven't been much nicer to anyone else,' Sirius said looking at her.

'Piss off, would you,' Rowena shouted.

She stood up and she went back upstairs and rushed down the hallway and out the front door. She walked up Grimmauld Place and she felt herself get upset again. A tear left her eyes but she wiped it away instantly. They weren't worth getting upset over and she knew that. She had more important things to work on but she knew it would have to wait.

No-one in the Order trusted her and she needed to have that trust back before she did anything. Otherwise she could be followed her questioned every time she left the house alone. She wanted Albus, especially, to trust her. If she could fully get his trust back, she would be alright. When she reached the end of the street, Rowena stopped and decided not to go any further.

She sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and she took a few deep breaths. She wanted to clear her head and get rid of her anger before going back to headquarters. She couldn't do this right now. She knew she had to pretend but she didn't think it was going to be this hard. She had expected Albus to believe her and give her more time but it wasn't happening like she thought it would.

Rowena knew she had had a lot of time to think all of this through but in truth she had done nothing. She needed to think of something to tell Albus and the Order. She knew she couldn't tell them where her father and his followers were but she had to tell them something, otherwise they wouldn't trust her. She had thought about telling them who some of the Death Eaters were, but it occurred to her that they have met some or most already, it wouldn't do them any good.

Rowena waited until sunset before going back to headquarters. When entering the house she went into the living-room. Sirius was in there alone, lying across one of the sofas, with his feet resting on arm rest and his back support by a couple of pillows. His head snapped to the side as Rowena entered the room. Rowena felt a little sheepish as she looked over at him.

'I'm sorry… for what I said to you,' she said quietly.

'It's alright,' Sirius said back. 'Albus isn't here, well, no-one else is here. It's just me.'

'Where did everyone go?' she asked moving to sit on one of the sofas.

'Some people went home, others back to work, and Harry and the others just went out for a drink, I think,' he said.

'Why didn't you go?' asked Rowena.

Sirius shrugged. 'Not really in the mood.'

Rowena wasn't sure she believed him. 'Really? Or are you just saying that?'

For a split second, Sirius looked confused about what Rowena just said. 'No, I was really not in the mood. Albus didn't ask me to stay and watch you. I think after the meeting he thought he'd give you some space.'

'Do you know where Albus went?'

'Back to Hogwarts, I'd imagine.' Sirius saw Rowena's face fall a little. 'He'll be back in a few days.'

Rowena nodded. Sirius smiled at her faintly, before going back to reading his magazine. Rowena wondered whether she should stay here or go back to her room. She stayed there for a moment though and studied Sirius. Rowena thought him to be quite interesting. He survived Azkaban for twelve years, became the first person ever to escape and he remained in hiding so years.

Rowena knew he was now a free man but he didn't go out very much. Rowena wondered if Sirius had gotten used to be in confined spaces, maybe it just became normal after a long period of time. She looked him over slowly. His black hair almost reached his elbows, though it didn't appear matted anymore and his face was once gaunt looking, was now a little more filled, though Rowena could still tell that Azkaban had left a permanent mark.

Sirius turned to look at Rowena again and he smiled faintly. 'Are you alright?'

'Yeah,' Rowena said quickly. She had been staring. She felt a flush of heat creep to her cheeks, so she decided to move on. 'Do you hate me?' she asked.

Sirius was still looking at her. He frowned and looked around the room. 'Since when did you care what people thought about you?'

'I don't normally, but I can't help but notice how much people seem to hate me and I was just wondering if that included you?'

Sirius sat up properly on the sofa and he dropped the magazine he was reading beside him and he rested his hands on the sofa, either side of him. He looked at seriously. 'No, I don't hate you but I will admit that you seem to be making things difficult.'

'What do you mean?' Rowena asked innocently.

Sirius smiled. He saw right through that and Rowena knew it but she showed nothing. 'You know exactly what I'm talking about. I know Albus cares about you and he, along with the rest of the Order, would like to know what happen to you while you were with Voldemort. I'm sure there are many things you could tell us.'

'I'm sure there are things I could tell you,' Rowena agreed quietly. 'But it's not time yet.'

'Why?' asked Sirius, frowning. 'What are you waiting for?'

Rowena shrugged. 'I'm not sure.'

When Rowena thought it over, she really wasn't sure why she wasn't saying anything. She then thought of Remus and the way he looked at her.

'Why does Remus hate me then?' she asked.

'Why are you asking me?'

'Because you're one of his best friends, you would know him better than anyone else in the Order,' said Rowena.

Sirius lay down on the sofa again, picking up his magazine. He chuckled slightly. 'I do know Remus, but this might be better coming from him.'

'I do not agree,' said Rowena.

'Alright then, Remus thinks you have unofficially joined your father and his followers,' Sirius said quickly.

'Why does he think that?' she asked next.

'He saw you on the night of the raid and you were holding your wand and you still left with a Death Eater,' said Sirius clearly. 'He thinks that you could have gotten away if you wanted to.'

'I have my reasons for not doing so.'

Sirius nodded but he said nothing. He went back to reading his magazine and Rowena lent her back against the sofa she was sitting on. She took her eyes off Sirius and looked at the other side of the room. There wasn't much to see though.

After a little while longer, Rowena went back up to her room. Nothing more was said between her and Sirius. Rowena locked the bedroom door and sat on the edge of her bed. She thought about what Sirius had told her about how Remus felt. It was true, she probably could have fought Walden off, but what for? She had a plan, as did her father.

At this moment, Rowena knew that any trust Remus may have had in her was now gone and she knew it wasn't about to return at any point. Now, she had to make sure not to make everyone feel the same about her.

A few nights later Rowena joined the Order in the kitchen for their next meeting. She decided to listen to Sirius and tell them what she could, though Rowena knew she could tell them so much that would probably help them but she couldn't tell them everything, it would ruin everything.

She sat at the table next to Albus and the other sit next to her remained empty. Albus had started the meeting and he eventually got to the part everyone was waiting for, getting some information from Rowena.

'Ok,' Albus said turning his body so he could look at Rowena comfortably. 'Now, Sirius tells me you're ready to talk.'

Rowena nodded. 'I'm not sure what to say though,' she said hesitantly.

'That's Ok, we can ask the questions,' Albus said softly. 'Make it a little easier on you. Now, what can you tell me about the location that Voldemort is in?' Albus asked.

'I don't know,' said Rowena, shrugging. 'Um, I don't know where they are but it was a big place. I was never allowed outside, except when I was on the raid.'

'Speaking of which, why were you on the raid?' Remus asked.

'Because my father tortured me until I agree to go with them,' she replied. 'I eventually agreed because I knew he wouldn't stop until I agreed. But while on the raid, I didn't hurt anyone.'

'I believe you,' said Albus softly.

Rowena was glad he believed her, because that was the truth. She didn't hurt anyone on the raid; she just went along with them to see what they did on one.

'Do you know what Voldemort has planned?' Harry asked.

Rowena looked at Harry. His black hair was messy and his bright green eyes were looking at Rowena uncertainly. 'No,' she replied. 'I was told nothing.'

'Why didn't he kill you when you first met?' asked Moody.

Rowena turned her head to look at Moody, who was the only person in the room not sitting at the table. He was standing near the door, leaning on his walking stick. His normal eye was on sitting on Rowena, while his blue magical eye kept an eye on everything else. Rowena found him to be one of the only people here who was quite intimidating.

'I asked him the same question,' said Rowena. 'And he told me that he wanted to get to know me and see how alike we are.'

'And what did he find out?' Albus asked.

Rowena shrugged. 'I don't know. I never asked and he never told me on his own.'

'Has anyone else been captured there?' asked Kingsley.

Rowena nodded. 'Yes. They captured someone named Hannah Abbott. Father mentioned something her mother as well, but I never asked what he meant by it. Also, my father received some new followers while I was there and one of them was unwilling to join and he was kept in a cell. He's name was… Blaise Zabini.'

'Did you have any interaction with them?' asked Kingsley.

'Yes, only once,' Rowena said softly. She knew she just lied. 'My father wanted Blaise to join and told him that it was either that or he dies and he kept refusing to join and one night he told me to kill Blaise.'

'And?' asked Remus, who was now leaning on the table.

'I didn't and I don't know what happened to Blaise afterwards,' Rowena said heatedly.

Albus put a hand her shoulder but this time Rowena didn't move when he did. 'Just relax, Rowena. And Remus, stop angering her, it's not helping anyone.'

Remus' jaw hardened but he said nothing more. He looked away and Rowena watched as Tonks took his hand and he moved his away. She raised an eyebrow but she said nothing. She wondered how long they had been fighting for and she contemplated on if it would end. They both had a son to think about. He was only a year old.

'Does he have a plan now?' asked Remus.

'What do you mean?' Rowena asked frowning.

'Well, the Death Eaters left you at Caldwell, and I will admit that you were injured but I'm sure it's nothing that couldn't have been planned….'

'Remus,' Sirius said warningly.

'…and if that's what happened then, you might have a plan for being here now,' Remus finished, as though Sirius hadn't interrupted.

'I'm not listening to anymore of this,' Rowena said stiffly.

She got up from her chair and she left the kitchen. Albus sighed heavily and he looked to Remus. 'Remus, I know you don't trust Rowena, but I do. She has been through a lot in the last few months and I don't want people making it worse for her then it needs to be.'

The meeting ended there and Remus stood up and left the kitchen as well as the house. Tonks kept her eyes on the door after he had left but she didn't go after him. Tonks couldn't get through to Remus and she still didn't know why Remus was so angry. All Tonks wanted to know was why he was so agitated all the time and she couldn't believe that it was all about Rowena, there had to be more to it.

Rowena returned to her room and she looked around. This was boring her. She was now wishing she had never agreed to come back here. She could no longer understand why her father wanted her to return here. What good would it do? Nobody except Albus trusted her anymore. Rowena fell back against the bed. This wasn't going to go well.