Playing God

"Next time you point a finger, I might have to bend it back and break it off. Next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror."

It was the night that Jacob's sisters were coming home from college, which meant I had to go to Emily and Sam's house, which meant I had to see Paul. I wasn't excited at all. I didn't even want to go, but I would go for Jacob. I would be strong for him.

I got dressed up really nicely. I wanted to look my best to make Paul jealous. He would notice me that night, not anyone else. Or, that's what I thought.

Jacob came to pick me up. Apparently, he had already dropped off his sisters and his dad at Emily and Sam's house, so we were alone for the drive. I couldn't say anything; I was so nervous. I didn't want to see Paul; it was the last thing I wanted to do. Why did Jacob and Paul have to be so closely related?

We got to Emily and Sam's house, and, thankfully, Paul wasn't there. It was just Rachel, Rebecca, and Billy. Emily was in the kitchen, and Sam was with the girls and Billy watching baseball.

"Hannah!" one of the twins greeted, hugging me. "I'm Rachel. It's so nice to meet you."

"You too," I whispered, hugging her back.

"Hi," Rebecca came up to me. "We've heard so much about you."

I looked over at Jacob, and he smiled encouragingly. I turned back to Rebecca and gave her a hug.

"That's great. I've heard so much about you too."

That was a lie. Jacob never really talked about his sisters, and I wondered why.

Then the door opened, and Jared and Paul walked in. Their faces dropped, and I looked away.

"Who invited the slut?" Jared growled.

My face immediately dropped, and it felt like I was about to burst into tears. How could he say that about me? I did nothing to him.

"What did you say?" Jacob asked, sizing Jared up.

"I said, "Who invited the slut?"" he repeated. Jacob pushed him.

"Hey, boys, calm down." Sam got up and got in between them. "Jared, you will respect your sister."
Sister? I was no sister of his.

"I'm going to go," I whispered, and grabbed my jacket.

"No." Sam got in front of me, and, surprisingly, hugged me. I sunk into his arms. "You can stay. Jared, apologize to your sister."

"But…"

"Now," Sam growled.

"Sorry Hannah," Jared mumbled.

"Why don't you go in the kitchen with Emily?" Sam suggested. "I'm sure she could use your help."

Nobody but me noticed the look on Paul's face. He was staring at Rachel, who was too busy making sure that Jared got a slap in the face. She followed me into the kitchen, and Paul's eyes never left her. I was so jealous.

"Sorry honey," Rachel put her arm around me. Rebecca came in behind her.

"What happened?" Emily asked, turning away from the stove.

"Jared was being a douche, as always," Rebecca answered.

"I'm sorry, Hannah," Emily replied. "I'm sure Sam took care of it."
"He did," I whispered, sitting down at the table.

Emily turned to me, and her eyes showed pity for me. I didn't want pity; I didn't know what I wanted. I just didn't want any pity. It was my own fault.

"Girls, I think you should give Hannah and I some time alone," Emily said, turning off the stove. Rebecca and Rachel left, and Emily sat down at the table across from me.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand.

"Do you think I'm a slut?" I questioned, leaning on the table.

"No, of course I don't. Why would you think that?"

"Because that's what Jared called me."
"He's just upset. Paul's his best friend. He's just trying to stick up for Paul."

"Still…." I sighed.

"I know it's hard darling, but just take everything one step at a time."
"Okay."

"Are you ready to go back outside?" she asked, getting up from the table.

I followed in her motion. "I guess."

She put her arm around me. "That's my girl."

We walked into the other room, and Jacob got up to greet me. He grabbed me and held me in his arms. I looked over Jacob's shoulders at Paul, but he wasn't even paying attention to me. He was too busy talking to Rachel.

"How are you baby?" he whispered, holding me closer.

I couldn't respond. All I could think about was how if I had staid with Paul for just another few weeks, he would've imprinted on someone else and left me. I felt so bad. How could I let this happen? How could I not be his imprint?

"Baby?" he breathed in my ear.

"Yeah," I replied quickly. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"
"Yes."

"Dinner's ready!" Emily called. Everyone went into the kitchen.

I didn't really pay attention to the palaver at dinner. I was too preoccupied with Paul and Rachel's conversation. They were laughing like they had been friends forever. It made me sick.

As soon as dinner was over, I asked Jacob to take me home. I couldn't see Paul anymore without it making me absolutely nauseous. Jacob put his arm around me and led me out the door, but not without saying goodbye to everyone. I said goodbye to Rachel (even though I was sick of her), Rebecca (who had just as much of a problem with Paul paying attention to Rachel as I did), and Kim (who arrived during dinner). After we said goodbye to everyone, we left, and I was thanking the Lord. How could I possibly let myself feel this way? Jacob loved me more than Paul ever could, so why was I so upset that Paul was giving all his attention to Rachel? I knew I was jealous, but there was more than that. I wasn't just jealous; I was amazingly jealous. Why did this have to happen to me?
"Baby, I know you're upset," Jacob started, putting his hand on my thigh. "What's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong," I whispered, removing his hand from my thigh.

"This is about Paul, isn't it?"

"I told you it wasn't a good idea to go."
"Why are you still hung up on Paul?"

"Because, it's only been a week since we broke up! I'm still upset!"

"He didn't do anything to you."

"Didn't to anything to me?" I screamed. "Did you see the bruises he left on my body?"

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like…" We pulled up to my house. I got out of the car and ran to my door, crying. How could he do that to me? "Hannah! Hannah!"

And I slammed my door in his face.