Disconnected.
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine.
Walking slowly and mindful of the sound he footsteps make. Moving as silently as he can. Every crack in the floorboards releasing a sigh of despair. Each step carefully chosen. One foot in front of the other. Unaware of anything but the sound of his feet on the floor, and the moaning of his breath with the gentle wrump of his heart. His final destination governed not by himself but some far away mind pulling him forwards. Dragging him to the small door in the hallway. The cellar door.
Aaron watched Spencer walk out of the room. He seemed to be sleep walking. His eyes open but looking far away at something only he could see, and listening to sounds only he could hear. He moved strangely. His joints stiff. Not the normal free way he would normally walk. Not the walk that Aaron so liked to watch from behind. This was different and wrong. Even knowing that Reid must be in pain from the beating he had recently taken this was wrong. Hotch followed him at a distance.
Reid ran his fingers over the paint work. Aaron was sure he was making odd whimpering noises. Like an animal. He watched Reid stare through the door into the darkness of the cellar. He stood like this for about ten minutes then walked slowly – impossibly slowly back up the stairs and to bed.
……………
He knew that if he made but the slightest noise he would lose contact with the floor and start to fly. One hundred percent concentration was needed here. So much brain skill would be needed in-fact that the rest of sensory input would be turned off. He let the shadows guide him to where they wanted him. In silence. The pain he felt in his heart when he found where the shadows had dragged him to made him want to cry out in frustration. He could see down the stairs into the cellar but there was a barrier preventing him from going down there. "Don't go in the cellar Babes." A place. A special place. Their place and if he made a noise now it would disappear. Be gone. And with that Floyd would be gone too. A sound escaped his throat and he knew he must leave. Patiently he waited for the shadows to take him again and guide him sightlessly and silently back to his bed.
………………
Early morning and Prentiss called from the hospital. JJ was doing fine. She was awake and talking and fine. All was fine.
It would be good if all was really fine.
Spencer got off the bed he was laying on in the morning and walked down stairs like nothing unusual had happened the night before. He was grubby and unshaven and still in the clothes he had been wearing the day before. A dark stain of blood still on the leg of his trousers. He had pulled the dressings off his arms at some point. Spencer walked down to the kitchen. He hadn't even acknowledged Hotch and he made coffee. Aaron followed him. Reid then walked out to the shop and turned on the lights and pulled up the blinds and unlocked the door. Then went and sat on the stool behind the counter. Eyes looking off into nowhere.
"Reid?"
It was like someone had let a bomb off under him. He squealed and fell off the stood.
"Aaron! Where the hell did you suddenly come from?" A big friendly natural smile. One Aaron hadn't seen in a while.
"Reid, I have been here all night."
Spencer stared back at him a look of disbelief on his face. "You stayed the night? Here? With me?"
"Reid, you need to get changed and shower."
"No – need to keep the shop running. We have – I have made a huge loss." Pulling himself off the floor and back to the stool
"You can't serve people looking like that Spencer."
Reid looked down at himself and ran fingers over his face. "OK. Five minutes. Hold the fort for me?"
Aaron nodded as he watched this strange new Reid walk away through the door at the back of the shop. At least he was walking the walk again. And Aaron smiled.
………………
Reid went to the bathroom and slowly and methodically shaved and stood looking in the mirror.
Where are you?
Running fingers over the mirror.
Where are you?
He walked back down to the shop. Hotch noticed that Spencer still hadn't changed his clothes blood encrusted and sweaty, or put a brush to his mop of hair.
"Come with me and I will help you sort yourself out." A hand on Reid's shoulder. A caring hand.
Spencer jumped back from the touch. Something deep down inside told him that was wrong. "It's ok!" a fast and worried voice. "I am ok. Just don't touch me. I don't need to be mothered Aaron. I am ok." He pushed his messy hair behind his ears.
………………..
Flanders walked. He walked for hours. He walked all night and now it was morning and he was still walking.
"They don't understand. I was protecting him. Why don't they understand?"
He looked at the cell phone he had taken from someone and punched in a number. He listened to the phone ringing.
"What do you want?"
"You knew it was me?"
"Who else would it be?"
"Need you to understand."
"I don't need to listen to your excused Flanders."
"Aaron, is he alright, have you given him his meds? He needs a blue capsule every morning. It keeps the voices away. Please Aaron."
"He doesn't need your sort of help Flanders. You only seem to be any good at destroying things. You are incapable of empathy."
Flanders walking in fast irritated circles. "He – needs – those – MEDS!"
"No Flanders he doesn't."
"You bastard son of a bitch!"
Hotch looked up to see Reid staring at him with the hugest eyes he had ever seen, even on Reid. "Give me that phone." And Reid had launched himself on Aaron snatching at the phone.
"No Reid." and he snapped the phone shut before Reid could talk to Flanders.
"That was Floyd?" Puzzled look. "Why is he calling you?"
"To see if you are ok. He won't get near you again. Don't worry."
"He called you? Why did he call you? Give me the phone Hotch."
"I told you, to see if you are alright."
Reid stood staring at Hotch for a few seconds, and then started to back off. "What's going on? Why are you here? Where is Floyd?" he left the shop via the back and entered the kitchen. Mrs Gordon was pouring coffee, "Get out! Get out of my home!" He dragged open a drawer in the table and pulled out a fist full of cheroots and a lighter.
"I am going for walk. I need fresh air. When I get back I want you all gone. That includes you Agent Aaron Hotchner." He turned back to Hotch. "I haven't done anything wrong Hotch. This is harassment. You will leave me alone and stop stalking me!" He lit up and left by the back door. Hot tears of anger prickling behind his eyes.
…………
Flanders sat on a rock in middle of no where. Surrounded by scrubland and nothing. He stared off into the distance and called his love back to him. The feeling of loss ripped his soul apart and caused a pain so deep he thought it would kill him. Then it is mended by the rush of love and adrenaline when they are reunited. He couldn't help it. He would get them settled, and just have to throw it all away so he could feel the pleasure of the reunion. A very addictive drug which he couldn't get enough of. So he sat and waited and thought and called Spence back to him. He needed that rush now. He had hurt. Now he needed to mend.
Was this behaviour any different really to the way Spence would hurt himself? All a form of self loathing? Flanders knew he was an outcaste. Even the clan avoided him. Iolanda only agreed to help because he reminded him who he was. He had a feeling Louis Iolanda would be leaving this god forsaken country soon and never returning.
Or was this a control issue? Did he need to feel he had total control over someone? The way they used to control him? Through all the diabolical things he had lived through, was this his way of fighting back? He thought of the Clan and of the people who denied him as a child. Thrown to the wolves of the Clan as a small child. Then when they made their monster they threw that away too. Too afraid to look at him.
A filthy perverted freak, maybe but one who needed Dr Spencer Reid.
Come on Spence keep walking babes. I am waiting for you.
Spence?
I'm coming.
You OK?
I will be.
You taking your meds?
I don't need meds. Why are people trying to drug me?
They help.
I need a clear head.
I know Spence.
I like to be able to think and feel like I am me.
I know but they will help to quiet the voices.
I have controlled that without drugs for as long as I can remember.
I am trying to help.
I don't need that sort of help. Where are you? They will follow me.
No they won't.
How do you know?
Just keep coming Spence.
…………..
Hotch's phone bleeped again. "What now?"
"Just wondering if I can talk to Agent Derek Morgan."
"No you can't."
"Nor can you. Listen carefully. Back off from Spence. Let him go. Do not follow or I will never tell you the whereabouts of Agent Derek Morgan."
Hotch snapped the phone shut and speed dialled Morgan. It rang a couple of times then was answered.
"I told you Agent Aaron Hotchner, you can't talk to him."
"You son of a bitch."
"That is very likely. I will send you some pictures. I know you love pictures! Or I can just send them to his mother or sister? Stay in touch Aaron if I see anything to make me think you are following Spence there will be another funeral." End of call.
…………………
And Spencer kept walking through the town. He didn't notice the people staring at him and his blood stained clothes. He didn't notice mothers pulling their children away from the crazy man muttering to himself and smoking weird cigarettes. He didn't notice that his feet hurt or that his face beaten and cut from the night before hand started to bleed again. He wiped irritably at the moisture on his top lip and noted it was blood. A nose bleed and a bad headache.
…………………