I do not own ANYTHING. DO YOU HEAR ME?! (Appears with bloodshot eyes). I need my vodka...

3:00 A.M.

Dante was in the bar, all alone drinking a bottle of vodka. Ayane approached the bar. "Drowning out your sorrows?" Ayane wondered. "Well, when you have 3 drunkards, 1 pervert, 2 pussies, 1 military freak, and 1 normal one, you just gotta' empty out your sorrows somehow..." Dante explained. Ayane grabbed a beer as well, and sat down too. "I guess your right. Let's drink until the morning." Ayane offered. "Sure, I've already had 5 bottles, why stop now?" Dante asked. They both had a toast, and began drinking the night away.

7:00 A.M.

They were still drinking, and still sober. Immediaetly they stopped, then looked at each others eyes. "You think you can outdrink me?" Dante challenged. "Well...we've been drinking from 3:00 to 7:00. I'll make a bet with you." Ayane accepted. They kept on drinking.

8:00 A.M. Snake walked through his room, only to see Meryl. "..." "..." "Meryl?" "Snake?" They both pulled out pistols and aimed it at each other. "Tell me what the fuck your doing here in 25 seconds or less." They both threatened each other by asking the same thing. "I said answer me!" They both asked at the same time again.

At the arcades...

After breakfast, they all decided to go to the arcades. Ryu walked over to a Tekken machine. There was guy playing it, with huge ass spiky hair. "Tekken's gay." Ryu insulted. "Wanna' be-" Immediatly the man recognized him. "Wait a minute...your the guy from DOA!" He yelled. "You! I challenge you to a match at Tekken!" He challenged. "Your that guy from Tekken! We must do battle..." Ryu accepted, dropping his coin in the machine. 5 minutes into the battle, Jin won. "Fuck! Okay, I challenge you to DOA!" Ryu challenged. "Fine! But I'll win just like I did there!" Within 5 minutes, Ryu won. "Bam bitch!" Ryu yelled, throwing a breathmint at Jin's face. "Ow." Jin said. "Aw well..." They both shook hands.

Snake and Link were both playing Time Crisis 4. "Dammit Link! Learn how to aim!" Snake yelled at Link. "I do know how to aim! Just not guns..." Link admitted. "You don't know how to aim a gu- wait, your from a rated E game right?" Snake asked. Link nodded. "Jesus...Alright, when we get back home, I'll teach you how to use guns. BUT ONLY ONCE." Snake offered. 'Woah...De Ja Vu...'Link thought. Hayate was playing Galaga. "Dammit! Dammit! FUCK!" It was his last ship that was blown up. "Brother? May I help?" Kasumi asked. "Sure. You get the second ship." Hayate accepted. Immediately, all the ships blew up. But it wasn't Hayate who had done it. It was Kasumi. Hayate's jaw dropped in disbelief and awe.

The Next Morning...

Everyone was having their breakfast. Ryu burst through the doors. However, there was something in his pants that made his (CENSORED FOR THE GOOD OF ) look like a giraffe. Everybody was shocked. Ryu took a seat. "Hello ladies..." He muttered, starting to eat his cereal. "...What's your secret?" Link asked, whispering. "I have no secret, to tell you the truth..." Ryu lied. "You suck!" A voice called from Ryu's pants. Kasumi recognized who it was. "Nii-san?" She called out. "Kasumi! LET ME OUT! I'M SUFFOCATING!" He yelled, gasping for air. "So...Ayane...want to go out?" Ryu offered. Ayane twitched, throwing up into her bowl. "...That is sick as hell..." Christie muttered. "I just lost my appetite..." Kokoro murmured, putting her plate over to Kasumi's position. "No thanks..." Kasumi whispered, handing the bowl to Lisa, who threw the bowl at Ryu's face. Ryu fell down on the ground, writhing in pain. "That was disgusting as fuck..." Kasumi threw her knife at Ryu's pants, causing it to cut open. Hayate stepped out, gasping for air. "Oh god!" Ryu yelled as he fell on his head. "How did he get in Ryu's pants?" Dante asked. "Well...that's a long story..." Hayate began.

FLASHBACK

It was 9:00 A.M., Hayate was in bed. Ryu unzipped his pants, and hit Hayate in the head with a baseball bat, knocking him out. Ryu then picked up Hayate, shoving him in his pants.

Flashback over

"...OH MY GOD..." Dante ran to the nearest bathroom, however his pukes were still heard. "It smelled like rotten pancakes in there!" Hayate exclaimed. "I need a beer..." Hayate muttered, looking around. After a rather unpleasant breakfast, everyone went to the administrator office. Only to see the biggest shock yet. Sitting at the desk, was Victor Donovan. "...Donovan..." Ryu growled, clenching his fist. "Donovan?!" Ayane was shocked. Kasumi stayed silent. "So...we meet again.." Hayate murmured. "Welcome..." He greeted. "As you may as well know...we haven't had the 5th DOA tournament. As head of the DOATECH, I'm starting the Dead Or Alive 5 tournament soon. And where better to hold it then Zack Island?" "Who the fuck is this guy?" Snake asked. "...His name is Victor Donovan." Ryu explained. "So...it's the rumors were true. Another tournament?" Kasumi figured it out. "The tournament shall begin soon...You have 45 minutes." Victor warned. "...Oh. Shit." Hayate muttered.

In the Girls Locker room...

Everyone was getting ready for the first fight. Everyone stared at the newcomers, Meryl and Alyx. "Who the hell are you two?" Lisa growled. "..." They both stayed silent. Both Ayane and Kasumi were giggling about them. "I bet their B-cups." Ayane joked. Meryl moved in on the conversation. "The hell did you just say?" She hissed. "Step down bitch." Ayane insulted. Meryl pulled out her gun and fired a bullet near Ayane's head. "What? You think some small little bullet is going to itimidate me?" She spat on Meryl's face. Meryl smacked Ayane, who got up and pounced on Meryl.

In the Boys Locker room...

"Hey guys!" Zack yelled. "...Dick." Ryu whispered. "What?!" He shouted. Ryu tossed a kunai at Zack's fist, who got cut from it. "Owie! You cut my wrist! Jerk!" Zack yelled in pain.. Dante chuckled. "Dicknose..." A brown haired man came into the room. "And who the hell are you?" Hayate growled. The man kicked Hayate into a locker, keeping his foot on his chest. "Sol...remember that name." He scowled coldly. "And who is this?" Dante asked, turning the man around. The man pushed Dante into another locker. "You...I remember you." He recalled. "Oh yeah! Your that kid back from my middle school!" Dante remembered.

Flashback

It was in class. Dante cheated on Sol's paper. "Dickweed!" Sol yelled as he smacked Dante.

Flashback over

"Your the kid who I cheated off of!" Dante yelled. "Your in the tournament too?" He asked. "Yep." Dante announced. "Well then..." Sol pulled a knife from his boot, and shoved it in Dante's torso. "Count that as my payback..." Sol hissed. Dante grabbed the knife out of his chest, and threw at the locker. "...Asshole."

At the tournament...

First match: Dante Vs. Link

'Dammit! Why does fate always have to be against me?!' Link thought. 'Awww...I was having fun with the little elven prick...looks like I have to kill him.' Dante thought.

They both stepped up on a tiled floor outdoors. Link was shivering, and even went as far as pissing his own pants. A computerized voice announced the battle. "Ready? Fight!" She yelled. Dante charged Link, leaving a trail of flames behind him. Link couldn't see a thing. Dante then leaped infront of Link, revealing himself. He tackled Link to the ground, punching him continously before picking him up and slamming him down on the ground. Dante had slammed Link so hard, that the floor started to crack. He put his boot on Link's face, and jumped off of it, doing a backflip and landing on Link's torso, causing himself to spit out blood. "Giving up already?" Dante taunted. He jumped off Link to give him a chance to get up. Link struggled back up, trying to stay still, wobbling. Dante charged Link once again, picking him up by the head. He closed his eyes, then opened them again only to reveal bloodshot eyes. Electricity started to surround Dante's arm as he charged Link's body with Electricity. "Wait a minute! That's enough! Let go!" The announcer called out. Dante's electricity flow stopped, and he dropped Link to the ground, who was covered with static. His eyes returned to normal. "Aww man! I was having fun!" Dante whined. "Winner of the first bout, Dante." The announcer announced (Wow, no pun intended.) Link still had electricity flowing around him. He was partially paralyzed, and couldn't move, and was carried out on a stretcher. Everyone looked in awe. "...DAAAAAAAAYUM!" Ryu yelled out.