Vilkas and Lilah agree to throw caution to the wind, but what's going to get thrown back?

Title: lyrics from Warmth, by Bastille

Lilah awoke in a dark room, one that felt different. Smelled different, like metal and leather and…ink? As her eyes adjusted to the candlelight, she knew for certain – this wasn't her room. A soft murmuring provoked a vague sense of unease, and she rolled on her pillow to see her daughter's pink cheeks and honey-brown hair. Relief flooded her being, though she couldn't think why.

She sat up, stretched, and rubbed her eyes. Someone, a shadowy shape in the darkness, hunched over a desk near double doors. Stiff linens rustled as she swung her legs over the bed, bare feet touching a warm, rough rug, though her legs felt cold. She would be cold, wearing only a shift. But the fur blanket at the foot of the bed made a serviceable cloak, and she wrapped it around her shoulders, tiptoeing across the room toward the desk, its surface awash in candlelight and dancing shadows.

Relaxed in sleep, he appeared at peace for the first time since they'd met, resting his head on crossed arms, visibly muscular under his green linen tunic. Vilkas. She was in Vilkas's room. Her heart jumped – why was she in his room? She sighed and sat down on the rug, trying to remember what had happened, a deep sense of dread building in her gut. The blithe beginnings of their picnic remained clear in her mind: his story about Argis's name, the ridiculous logistics of mermaids. He wanted her to stay at Jorrvaskr and brew potions, she recalled, regarding his sleeping figure with a smile.

But how she and Maddy'd ended up in Vilkas's bed was a mystery. There'd been wine. Had there been too much wine? No, no headache or queasiness, her telltale hangover signals. Her eyes grew fuzzy as she stared at the spiral pattern on the rug, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin between them. Her brain sifted through memories of Maddy feeding a cow, walking on a wall… some indistinct danger. Did she fall? Lilah sat up straight, her heart pounding. No, not a fall. A knife. There'd been a shining, silver knife at Maddy's throat. And then…nothing.

Why did she need a protector while she slept? Was he protecting her? Or, she wondered, her face paling as she stared at the shadows painting the wall behind Vilkas, was he protecting the rest of the hall? The silver knife flashed before her eyes. What had she done?

Vilkas awoke with a start and tried to push himself up, but couldn't feel his arms. He groaned and sat back, letting them fall from the desk, shaking his shoulders to get the prickles out. As feeling rushed back, he looked over to the bed, his eyes gritty and sticky from too little sleep. A momentary chill of panic touched his spine when he saw a smooth expanse of quilt where Lilah should've been sleeping, but he didn't have to look far to find her, wrapped in a fur blanket and sitting on the rug. Just after dawn, according to the glass.

He couldn't tell whether Lilah was asleep or awake – her head rested on folded arms, and she sat perfectly still in the darkness. Not wanting to wake Maddy in finding out, he slowly arose, his legs stiff from sleeping on his chair all night, and padded in stocking feet to sit at her side. She lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes wide and fearful.

"I remember our picnic." She spoke in low, hushed tones. "Stories, wine, watching Maddy play. And then, a knife at my daughter's throat…and I wake up in your bed, with you standing guard. What happened?"

He sighed and ran his hands down his thighs. Njada or Ria would think nothing of taking the lives of those who'd so obviously asked for it. They'd look upon it as, at the very least, a necessary evil, but more likely a triumph. Lilah'd never killed, though, not even an animal. "Long story short, you saved your daughter's life. And your own. Probably mine? Definitely mine," he admitted with a rueful grin. "And you, or some part of you at least, figured out how to release your magicka. And then, you passed out. The guards came running, and Farkas too. He carried you back to Jorrvaskr. I carried Maddy."

"I didn't hurt Maddy? What did I do? Is Maddy ok?"

"Of course you didn't hurt her. Maddy's fine. She woke up a few hours ago and had to go to the bathroom, so I took her, and she fell asleep on the way back here. She has a scratch near her throat," Vilkas said, motioning to his own clavicle, "but she thinks the whole thing was a bad dream. She didn't see what happened after you magicked her to sleep."

"I...made my daughter sleep?"

"Looked that way. It wasn't me. The way the conjurers yelped when Maddy fell from their grasp, it wasn't them either." He noticed tears welling in Lilah's eyes. "Wait, why…why would you think you hurt Maddy?"

"All I remember is the knife at her throat, nothing else. Memory loss can be a defense mechanism, block out things we'd rather not remember." She wiped her eyes with the edge of the blanket. "And I put Maddy to sleep. Those mages made her sleep on the island, and –"

"That wasn't the same and you know it," Vilkas whispered, trying not to raise his voice. He leaned in front of Lilah, gripping her shoulders and shaking her gently. "You didn't hurt your child. You protected her. End of story, ok?"

When she nodded and wiped the rest of her tears away, Vilkas leaned back, exhaling heavily. "As far as what you did? I honestly don't know. Your eyes glazed over, like you saw something I couldn't see. And flashed silver."

"That happened once before, on the trip to Solitude. Something Nina said…I thought about Maddy getting hurt, or left alone and abandoned. Over my dead body," she said, and shivered. "That phrase means so much more now."

"See? You wouldn't have hurt her. Which brings us to last night. Two mages appeared in front of the farm. No portal, so I'm thinking they used invisibility potions or enchantments. Not sure. But they did conjure a frost atronach. Has Gillian explained about atronachs?" He waited until she nodded to continue. "They demanded you go with them or they'd kill Maddy. And you…you lifted your hand like this," he demonstrated, mimicking the twisting and plucking motion she'd used. "Maddy fell asleep. And the atronach and mages sort of…exploded. You made the remains disappear. All the blood, everything, just faded away, like fog burning off under the sun. We recovered some fabric from their robes, and the knife, that's it."

Lilah swallowed hard, tears burning her eyes. "Good."

Vilkas turned his head sharply. "Good?"

"What? Should I be upset? Am I supposed to care about people who threaten my daughter's life? Yours? Mine?" She scoffed. "No. Fuck that. I hope I hurt them as much as possible before they died."

After a moment's hesitation, Vilkas leaned into Lilah, softly bumping her shoulder with his own. "No, I'm not judging. I'm just surprised, because you haven't killed anything. Ever. Right? That's just…not the usual reaction after a first kill. Even among warriors."

"I know. Taking a life should be a heavy burden, and I'm betting if I were a soldier, it wouldn't please me quite so much," she said, her gray eyes fierce as they stared into his. "But I've thought long and hard about what I'd do to someone who threatened my daughter or anyone else I love, especially after the island. No regrets," she said, her chin raised. "They deserved what they got."

Vilkas pushed up on his hands, and turned his body to face her. "More, even, I'd say. Does this help you remember? How it felt to channel all that power?"

Lilah's eyes shifted back and forth, and she shook her head. "Not a damn thing. I'm missing those hours, completely. So scary."

Vilkas nodded, thinking of his first turning under the beastblood, twenty years ago. Gods, had it been that long? Waking up the next morning, not knowing what he'd done, where he'd been, or if someone was dead because of him…it was a scary feeling. As was the compulsion to confide in her, tell her about his old bargain with Hircine. Tell her about…other things, things not even Farkas knew.

Lilah turned to face Vilkas, their knees touching as they both sat cross-legged on the rug. "Why are they after me? What can I do that's worth their lives? That motivates them to murder little girls? I'm just a mom, I worked in a garden center back home. There's nothing special about me."

"Well, that's not exactly true. You're a mage, even if you don't know what you're doing, and you're unique – from another world. If those mages figured that out…" Vilkas whistled low. "Conjurers manipulate things from other planes, so other worlds, I suppose, is the next logical step. After the sun rises a bit more, we'll go talk to Gillian. She said something last night about exercises to get you past a mental block. And, maybe she's heard from Paarthurnax by now. It's about bloody time." He braced on his hands, starting to push himself up. They did need to go to Gillian, he thought, her morning coffee routine be damned.

"Do you," she paused and picked at her nails. "Do you remember that night…the dagger…"

He settled back down. Pissing Gillian off could wait a few more minutes. "Of course. I nearly killed you with an enchanted dagger. That doesn't happen every day."

"What did it feel like? At first, your eyes were glazed over, too. And then, you were…you again. Sounds like what happened to me last night."

Vilkas rocked back a little as he made the connection. "So that's why you wondered if you'd hurt...I'm sorry. I keep forgetting you're from a world with no magic," he said, shaking his head a little and smiling. "You're amazing. I wouldn't be bearing up near as well in your shoes."

"Thank you," she said, her cheeks flushing.

Between her tousled hair and flushed cheeks, Vilkas had difficulty concentrating on the subject at hand. That freshly-bedded look suited her. He cleared his throat. "I'm no expert, but I think it's more likely you lost control of the magic for a bit. Lost control of yourself. It can happen," he said, noting Lilah's wary expression, "especially with new mages. "

Lilah shivered again, and pulled the blanket tighter. She looked over her shoulder at the bed where Maddy still slept. "Vilkas, I-"

"I talked to Ria and Nina last night." Vilkas started speaking at the same time, almost falling over his words. "They're going back to Falkreath. To the island. When we left, after we found you, Nina checked, and there wasn't a portal. And Paarthurnax said it would move. But they're going to check again, now that we know more about what we're looking for. The surrounding area, too. You'll be safer back in your world."

"I almost wish Paarthurnax had told me there was no way home, so I could grieve and deal with it. That's terrible, right? I know it is. But this up and down, cycle of wild hope and disappointment is making me crazy."

Vilkas nodded. "I know, and I won't stop trying to keep you safe and get you home. But there's no reason you can't start building a life here, and then if, one day... All I'm saying is, you don't have to live in limbo. You have friends, skills…and we – I – love having you here," he said, looking up at her under his lashes.

"What if I…met someone? Someone," she paused, looping her messy hair around one finger. "Someone I like. Someone I want. Just for me. Could I…is it fair to act on it? If I had to leave..."

Vilkas cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "A smart man will know it's worth the risk of losing you to have you in his life, even for a short time. Anyway, maybe once you get to know this guy, you'll feel different. Maybe you'll be glad to leave."

Lilah raised one brow. "You're an idiot, Vilkas."

"You don't…this is complicated. I've sworn to do everything in my power to find your way home. I want to do it, because it's what you want. What you need. But," he said, chuckling at the tremor in his voice. "I don't want you to go. There's a conflict of interest. Gods. Kodlak never would have let himself-"

"What, let himself feel? Be human?" Lilah's eyes flashed. "How do you know? I said it before, and I'll say it again: you take a lot on yourself. Gillian told me finding my way home's like finding…how did she put it? An invisible necklace that disappears and reappears all over Skyrim. The fact that I'm here is an accident, and the idea you'd ignore your duty – and strand me here – for selfish reasons is laughable."

"Your life shouldn't be more complicated than it already is," Vilkas said, keeping his eyes on hers. Declaring how he felt would make it real, and something to be reckoned with. But he couldn't stop himself. Did he even want to? "I wasn't going to say anything. Didn't think it was fair to either of us, but after last night, I – living the rest of my life without being with you, even for a day… well, it's..." He frowned. Whiterun was a small city. Everyone knew everyone else's business, and people would talk. "But what if– "

"Whatever's between us doesn't have to be all or nothing," she said, her voice oddly choked and breathless. Their attraction was real now, for the both of them, hovering between them like a glowing, uncut ruby. Made to be worked, turned, cut...but delicate. One wrong move might uncover a concealed flaw. Or a weakness. Was it worth the risk? "I know you guys move faster than I'm used to, and I'm not judging your tradition, but given our complications, maybe we should just get to know each other, free of…intention. Enjoy the time together. Enjoy each other. I think that's –"

She looked down and back up, wide-eyed. Vilkas followed suit, and stilled - their hands intertwined over their knees. How had he not noticed that? Who'd made the first move? Lilah's hands were pale and smooth in his, and he cringed, feeling his scars and calluses catch on her skin as he lightly traced her palm. He flicked his eyes back up as she let out a tiny moan.

He watched her eyes darken and close, and fought for control, remembering who was sleeping ten feet away. But control was elusive. "I thought we were dead, last night. And we would be, if not for you. You saved my life. Thank you."

Lilah grabbed his palm and turned it over, kissing it, and sending sparks down his spine. "You saved me first. I just returned the favor," she said, grinning and then gasping as Vilkas pulled her, blanket and all, into his lap. He crushed her to his chest and pressed his lips to her neck, breathing deeply. He was right – he could drown in her scent.

He felt the heat of her hands as she slowly moved them over his arms and around to his back, a shuddering sigh escaping her lips. Pushing the last little nagging bit of guilt from his mind, he brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek and kissed her. Finally, after weeks of wanting and wondering, he could touch and smell and taste. He had to admit, it was well worth the wait.

She moaned into the kiss, and the blanket fell away as he slid his hands down her waist, intending to grab her hips and pull her closer, but a pinching and cramping in his back made him pause. He groaned. Surely forty years old was too young to have back trouble. But no, there it was again, and he twisted his spine, hoping to stretch the cramp out.

"Ow," Lilah whimpered, and pulled away, her hand massaging her hip. "Did you pinch me?"

Warily, Vilkas shook his head. "No. Some things might be a little different in Skyrim, but that's not one of them." He winced. The pinching grew to a stabbing pain, and he kept his eyes on Lilah's, a sinkhole of dread opening in his gut. Was this another dream, then? Would her gray eyes and rosy lips darken to black? He dug his nails into the palm she'd just kissed. It felt so real.

Lilah's eyes filled with tears. "It feels like there's a knife in my back. What is this?" She peered into his eyes, seeing the pain there as he winced again. "Do you feel it too?"

Vilkas nodded, alarmed at her distress. "Yes, I –" he grunted, and jerked to the side. "Wait, what – " His eyes widened as the floor and the rest of the room began to fade around them. "Hold on to me. Tight, don't let go."

She wrapped her arms and legs around Vilkas, and buried her head in his neck. The poking and pinching sensation morphed into a pulling, like someone trying to yank her out of her own skin. She held onto Vilkas even tighter, and when the tugging stopped, she opened her eyes.

"No, the longsword isn't just about brute force," Farkas said, instructing some of the whelps in the art of the swing. "If you put everything you have into one swing, you might not have much left over for the next. Plus...here, let me show you. Hannah?" He pointed with his own sword to a spot a couple of feet away. "Come at me, hard as you can. Put your whole body into it."

With a fatalistic resignation, Hannah turned on the spot, yelling as she swung with all her might. Farkas started his swing from above, so Hannah'd moved to counter it. But at the last minute, he feinted, and ran around behind her, popping her shoulder blades with the flat of his sword. Hannah lost her balance and went down, rolling out of the fall and shaking it off.

"See? Too much momentum in the swing, and it's hard to change course if your opponent does," Farkas said, turning his head as Gillian stalked around the side of the building. She was walking too fast for a social call. "Ok, work on guiding the swing through hand position. Dominant hand under the cross-guard. Secondary hand on the pommel. Watch each other. Correct each other. I'll be back."

He jogged over and met Gillian on the verandah. Her face was grim, and paler than usual. "What's going on?"

"I heard from Paarthurnax."

Farkas leaned against a column, unbuckling his bracers. "Bad news?"

"Not completely. He agreed Lilah should live like she's here to stay; getting her home is maybe a one-in-a-million shot. So that's bad. But…whatever's after her isn't a daedric lord."

"But that's good!" Farkas huffed in relief, unsure why she looked so dissatisfied with that news. "Vilkas'll be happy to hear that."

"Yes, but what is it? What else has enough power to mutilate and reform an elemental? And that dagger was definitely daedric in origin. It's no artifact Paarthurnax was familiar with, and he can't see the enchantments – to him, there's nothing there. And we know that's not true, because Vilkas doesn't attack people with daggers. Unprovoked," she qualified, sensing Farkas's objection.

"You're right," Farkas shrugged. "And, she has conjurers after her – Oblivion has to be involved somehow."

"What do they want with her? And how did she do what she did? Also, and this is the other bad part," she bit her lip and looked up at Farkas. "There's no daedric lord after Lilah, but – "

A small voice calling for Farkas interrupted Gillian's thought. "Did you hear that?"

Farkas nodded and looked around the yard. The back doors slammed open, and a tearful Maddy padded across the verandah, followed closely by Masly. Farkas and Gillian knelt, and took her hands. "What's wrong, baby? Why are you crying?"

"I can't find my mama," she said, as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I woke up and she's not there. Vilkas's gone too. And the door was locked. I couldn't unlock it on my own. So I yelled and kicked. And…" She threw herself into Farkas's arms and dissolved into sobs.

Farkas picked her up and turned sharply to Masly. "What's this?"

"She's telling the truth. I heard her yelling and kicking the door. She said it was locked. I tested it, and it was. I broke the door handle. I probably shouldn't have, but she was so scared, and I didn't know –"

"No," Gillian reassured her, "you made the right choice. What did you see?"

"Just the child. No one else was in the room. But…maybe you should come. I may have missed something."

They walked through the halls of Jorrvaskr, and down to the Harbinger's quarters. The room looked undisturbed. One candle illuminated something shiny on Vilkas's desk, and Farkas walked over, grabbing Vilkas's key – the only key to his rooms. "Where could they have gone? How'd they lock the door? They…wouldn't have left Maddy alone, not willingly."

"No," Gillian said, taking the key from Farkas and turning it over on her palm. "No, they wouldn't have."

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