Tricking trolls

While Clara was sneaking silently through the forest, the hands holding the bow and the arrow trembling with fear, Bilbo was creeping towards the fire.

He had been rather surprised and scared when the dwarves had pushed him out of hiding and towards the flickering light and he had been murmuring Fili's instructions to himself for a moment, before turning around to check he was right, but then they had already left him, alone in the darkness.

The sudden feeling of anger and determination had started to fill him up and without further thought, he had started towards the fire, determined to show them all that Bilbo Baggins was someone to count on.

Bilbo crouched to the ground and moved towards the pen containing the ponies as quietly as he could. The loudness of the trolls when they spoke, made it quite easy for him to stay hidden, since they were all focused on the giant cauldron hanging over the fire.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." A troll wearing an apron, looked down into the cauldron with disappointment.

"Quit yer' griping." The troll speaking was the one that had stolen the ponies. "These ain't sheep. These is West Nags!" He sounded a bit proud about this and Bilbo shivered, as his suspicions about them eating the ponies turned out to be true.

"Oh, I don't like 'orse", the third troll complained. "I never 'ave. Not enough fat on them."

"Well, it's better than the leathery old farmer. All skin and bones he was. I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth." The troll with the apron stirred the liquid in the cauldron, looking rather pleased with whatever he was cooking.

As the troll wearing a west, suddenly sneezed into the cauldron and they started talking about if it might improve the flavour, Clara reached the glade and almost caused Bilbo to have a heart attack.

"Goodness, Clara", he whispered, after taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. "Where did you come from?" His eyes regarded the bow and arrow in her hands in surprise, but he choose not to comment on it, as he thought it unwise.

"I am here to help." She bit her lip and let her eyes travel to the trolls in the glade. "You get to the ponies and I will cause a distraction if needed, okay?" She shot the hobbit a quick look, showing him that everything was already set.

"That sounds fine with me." He nodded slowly and then turned back to the pen, moving quickly, as the trolls were occupied with the cauldron.

"Sit down!" The troll with the apron threw the sneezing troll down into his seat and shot him a glare. He did not need any more snot in his cauldron, thank you very much.

William, which was the troll that sneezed, pulled his handkerchief out and sneezed once more into it. He was annoyed by Bert, the cook, and the way he always protected his food so much. He had said himself the snot was 'lovely.'

Behind them, Bilbo had just reached the pen and was now trying to untie the ropes. They were too big for his small hands and the fact that he had to turn most of back to the trolls, made him feel uneasy. He never knew what they could do while he was not looking.

"I hope you're gonna gut these nags. I don't like the stinky parts." William, whom was starting to become hungry, turned towards the pen, only to earn a hit with Bert's ladle, as the cook was now tired of his attitude.

"I said sit down!" Bert stirred the contents of the cauldron, while William squealed by the pain.

"I'm starving! Are we 'aving horse tonight or what?" Tom, also he hungry, growled and glared and the cook.

"Shut your cakehole", Bert murmured crossly. "You will eat what I give ya." Beside him, William pulled out his handkerchief once more and sneezed loudly.

Bilbo, who was starting to realise that he was never going to get the ponies out before the trolls lost their patience, looked around for something to cut the ropes with. His gaze found a long knife, that hung from William's belt. It had been revealed when the troll had gripped his handkerchief and Bilbo knew that this was his only option.

Cursing the dwarves silently for not giving him a knife, he crept forward and ducked behind the troll. The knife was huge for the little hobbit and he knew that he had to be quick, careful and quiet to get it without disturbing the troll.

Across the glade, Clara was curled up behind a bush. Her eyes followed the trolls and the hobbit, preparing herself to cause a distraction as soon as it was needed. She was probably going to get killed on the spot, but she would have tried at least. And given Bilbo some help.

When the hobbit suddenly moved out from his hiding and hurried towards the troll with the handkerchief, she straightened up and watched him carefully. He had a plan and she could see it.

"How come 'e's the cook? Everything tastes the same. Everything tastes like chicken." Tom shot Bert a glare and William nodded in agreement.

"Except the chicken", he said slowly.

"That tastes like fish!" Tom grinned, causing Bert to snort.

"I'm just saying, a little appreciation would be nice. 'Thank you very much, Bert.' 'Lovely stew, Bert.' How hard is that?" He stirred the contents of the cauldron and tasted it thoughtfully. "It just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung."

The troll patted the ground behind him, in search for what he needed, his big hand just missing Bilbo.

Clara, realising that the hobbit was close to discovery, rose slowly, just as the trolls started fighting over a mug of ale and Bert tasting his cooking once more, exclaiming a;

"Ohh, that is perfectly balanced, that is", before also Tom got to taste the food, while Bert praised his own cooking skills.

While this was going on, Bilbo was now standing right behind the troll with the handkerchief. He was so close to success, but still not yet finished. He had started to realise that it was going to be a hard business to get the knife from the giant troll.

Bilbo was so caught up in his own thoughts about how he was going to succeed, that he therefore almost missed Clara stepping out in the glade with the bow directed towards one of the trolls, the arrow aiming towards his eye.

"I am sorry to interrupt, kind sirs, but I do believe you have something that belong to me." From Bilbo's spot behind the troll with the handkerchief, he saw how Clara's hands were shaking furiously. He had to hurry up so that she would not do anything foolish.

"'Ey, Tom, look at this." Bert waved his ladle towards the girl. "We 'ave some company for dinner." He laughed harshly and Clara shot him a burning glare.

"I am not staying for, was it dinner you called it?, no. I am only here to retrieve my ponies." Her eyes quickly shot down to Bilbo, their burning look causing the hobbit to quickly straighten up and reach for the knife.

"Are you saying that, missy?" Bert shook his head slowly. "'re you 'earing this?" He looked to the other trolls, whom both chuckled in unison.

"I am not going to give you your nags, miss." Tom gave her a glare. "Me guts are grumbling. I've have got to snaffle something. Flesh, I need flesh." He clutched his stomach and Clara frowned in confusion. What was he going on about now?

"You can probably find some nice sheep or something around here", she said, her hands taking a new grip around the bow. "For I need those ponies, which means you cannot eat them."

"We always eat sheep. Nags are better." Tom was about to turn towards the pen, but William suddenly pulling out his handkerchief and sneezing violently, caused him to stop.

For William did not only sneeze. He also called out in fright.

"Argh! Blimey! Bert! Bert! Look what's come out of me 'ooter! It's got arms and legs and everything!"

It took a few minutes for Clara to understand what was actually going on, and when she did, there was not much she could do about it.

Resting in William's dirty palm, was not only his handkerchief, but also a snot-covered hobbit. Bilbo had been trying to get the knife from the troll, when the large hand had been coming back to grip the handkerchief and not only brought that, but also Bilbo. Now he was really stuck in the jam.

"What is it?" Tom looked at the hobbit in surprise.

"I don't know, but I don't like the way it wriggles around." William shook the handkerchief, causing Bilbo to fall to the ground before the three trolls.

He quickly got to his feet, soon finding Clara next to him and looked up at the trolls, scared for what was going to happen next.

"What are you then?", said Tom suspiciously, looking from the hobbit to the girl. He did not like the look of the arrow on the bow. "An oversized squirrel?"

"I am a burglar. Uhh, Hobbit." He spoke quickly, realising his mistake halfway through the sentence and correcting himself after stuttering.

"A Burgla-hobbit", asked William. Like the other trolls, he was a bit stupid and did not hear very well.

"Can we cook 'im?" Tom's growling stomach reminded him of that he was hungry once more, and he looked at the hobbit hopefully.

"We can try!" Suddenly, William's hand shot forward, trying to grip Bilbo, while Tom tried to get a hold on Clara.

The girl and the hobbit quickly spilt up, keeping themselves out of reach of the trolls. They were much quicker and made the trolls murmur in agony, as they all tried to be the first to catch the two.

Clara jumped out of reach for Tom's big hand and released her arrow from the bow pretty much just by surprise. The arrow pierced the shoulder of the troll, whom growled and tried to grip her once more, but she quickly moved away from him, sending another arrow towards William, that was chasing Bilbo. She was happy that they were all such big creatures, or else she would never have hit her target. She was not the best of archers, this she had found out now, but she supposed that practice makes perfect.

Moving away from the trolls, she sent another arrow flying. This one simply just hit the side of the cauldron and fell into the fire, not even making the trolls notice it.

"He wouldn't be more than a mouthful, not when he's skinned and boned!" Bert spoke loudly, apparently trying to get some sense into his companions.

"Perhaps there's more Burglar-Hobbits in these parts. Might be enough for a pie." Now it was Tom who spoke, his voice dripping of exitement.

"Grab him!"

"It's too quick!" Bert and William shouted at each other, as Bilbo dodged away from their giant hands and Clara tried to get a good aim at them with her bow. She did not succeed very well.

"Come on Bilbo, we've got to get out of here!" She called to the hobbit, trying to catch his attention, but he was too occupied trying to keep out of the mouths of the trolls.

Clara herself was so occupied trying to help Bilbo, that she did not keep her eyes open for the trolls, and therefore she suddenly found herself being lifted into the air in a smelly palm.

It was Bert that had gripped her, seeing the lack of attention in the girl, while Tom had succeeded in catching Bilbo.

"Come here you little...", he murmured, stretching his hand out towards the hobbit and shouting proudly when he lifted Bilbo upside down. "Gotcha! Are there any more of ya little fellas 'iding where you shouldn't?" The troll squinted at the hobbit, trying to make out something from his face.

"Nope", Bilbo said, slightly out of breath.

"He's lying!" William glared at the hobbit.

"No, I am not!" Bilbo looked quite offended and shot Clara a glance, his eyes calling for comfort.

"He is telling the truth. There are no more of us!" She spoke quickly, her heart beating furiously in her chest. They had to get out of there and warn the others.

"Hold his toes over the fire. Make him squeal!" William grinned and Tom nodded, apparently liking the thought.

Clara, suddenly seeing a movement in the bushes, quickly turned her eyes that way. If someone from the company would come now, they would ruin everything.

"I promise you, there are no more hobbits in these parts. I swear on my honour and all that is dear to me." She spoke loudly, making sure both the trolls and the person in the bushes would hear her.

But apparently, the person in the bushes did not hear, or did not care, for not far after that she had finished her sentence, Kili came running out into the glade. He cut William in the leg, causing him to fall to the ground, and then stood in the middle of the glade, looking proud over himself.

"Drop them!", he called, a smirk placing itself on his lips. He looked up, meeting Clara's gaze and receiving a glare in reply. She was not happy with him, this he understood.

"You what", asked Tom, looking at the dark-haired dwarf. His suspicions about more people had turned out to be true, even though it was not any more of those Burglar-Hobbits.

"I said, drop them!" Kili smirked and gripped his sword tightly. This was going smoothly, was it not?

When the trolls suddenly threw Clara and Bilbo at him, he was not ready and staggered backwards, falling to the ground under their weight.

"You bloody idiot", hissed Clara in his ear, as she pushed herself away from him. "You ruined everything!"

"So I suppose there will be no 'thank you' then?" Kili looked at her, a bit annoyed, as also he and Bilbo rose.

"No. We had it sorted." Clara picked up the bow and arrows from the ground, right as the rest of the company came rushing out from the bushes. The fight was a fact.

Author's note: Hello, hello again :) Sorry for the long wait, but I have been away and school is taking up a lot of time. I'm currently having all final tests and I'm pretty exhausted at the end of the day. Got about three weeks left until summer, though, which is great.
So, I hope that you liked this part and that you will leave me a nice little comment, telling me what you thought :) Your comments, favourites and follows makes my day!