Summary: The gang teaches foreign languages. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz has laryngitis and plans to give it to everyone else.

To Speak, or Not to Speak?

*Living Room*

Phineas and Ferb sat on the couch, watching television. The characters were speaking Spanish.

"It's a good thing we speak Spanish, huh, Ferb?" Phineas asked.

Ferb nodded.

After a moment, Phineas said, "But, what about people who don't speak Spanish? Or other languages, for that matter?"

"Phineas," Ferb said, "I know what we're going to do, today."

"Don't steal my line," his stepbrother said playfully. A pause, then, "Speaking of lines, where's Perry?"

*Phineas and Ferb's Room*

Agent P took a book from his boys' bookshelf and opened it on the floor. He jumped in the book, and it closed instantly.

He landed in his chair and turned on his monitor.

Major Monogram appeared on it, but he was speaking to his intern off-screen. "Why would they air Spanish TV shows in America? It's not like anyone around here speaks Spanish."

"Actually, sir," Carl said, still off-screen, "I can speak Spanish pretty well-"

MM glanced down at the platypus in front of him. "Not now, Carl. Agent P is here." He cleared his throat. "Agent P, it seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz - brace yourself for this - has not said a single word since yesterday."

Agent P's eyes widened. Talking seemed like the only thing his nemesis ever did! "Are we still talking about my nemesis?"

"I know. It is highly unusual for him. We need you to find out why he stopped talking and, uh, I guess...put a stop to it... Good luck, Agent P."

Agent P saluted.

*D.E.I.*

Perry, wearing his jetpack, flew to the oddly shaped building. He looked around, puzzled. "Hey, where's the jingle?"

He crashed through his nemesis's ceiling, and a book with a platypus-sized hole through it locked itself around him, locking his arms to his sides. (I'd like to thank the book, Gone by Michael Grant, for giving me the idea for this trap.)

Doofenshmirtz walked up to him, scowling. He waved half-heartedly, then walked off-screen.

Perry blinked in utter shock. "That's it? You're just gonna trap me? No back story? No rambling about things that aren't even relevant? Who are you, and what have you done with my eccentric-idiot-of-a-nemesis?"

*Backyard*

Several people were in the Flynn-Fletcher's backyard. They sat at different tables, each one across from either Phineas, Ferb, or one of their friends (including Irving).

"Phineas!" Candace yelled, storming up to her brother, who was across from Carl. "What are you up to?"

"He's teaching me how to speak Japanese," Carl said.

Candace glared at him. "Was I talking to you?"

Carl sunk down in his seat, suddenly nervous. "N-No. No, you weren't."

Candace returned her attention to her brother. "What are you up to?"

Phineas smiled. "We're teaching foreign languages."

The screen showed Ferb at a table with Major Monogram.

MM seemed exasperated. "Kid, you're talking way too fast. How am I suppose to learn Spanish if you keep talking too fast for me to even begin understanding you?"

Back to Candace, Carl, and Phineas.

Candace said, "I'm telling Mom," then stormed off-screen.

*D.E.I.*

Doofenshmirtz was pointing to his mouth, attempting to communicate with charades.

Perry was guessing. "Uh, tongue? Mouth? Pointing? Eye-roll... Head in hands... Frustration! You're frustrated, because you're too stupid to realize that, if you can't talk, for whatever reason, you can just write it down, moron."

Doof raised his head and facepalmed, feeling stupid. He grabbed a notepad and a pencil from nearby and wrote something down. He showed it to Perry.

"You have laryngitis? Wow. That's pretty ironic." Doof nodded in agreement, then tapped on the notepad, indicating that Perry should continue reading.

He did, then summed it up. "So, basically, if I've interpreting this rambling correctly, you've built a 'laryngitis-inator,' so everyone else will have laryngitis, too?"

Doof nodded. Grinning evilly, he went over to a large, laser-like device, and a webbed foot knocked him over. Perry pressed the self-destruct button, and the inator exploded.

Doof grabbed the notepad and pencil and wrote something. He showed it to Perry. The notepad read, 'Curse you, Perry the Platypus!'

Perry smirked. "I think I like you better, this way. We get things done faster, and you say less pointless stuff."

Doof glared at him, then wrote something else. He showed it to Perry, but the audience couldn't see what it said.

Perry glared at him. "Doctor, there's no call for that kind of language."

*Backyard*

"Look! Look! Look!" Candace screamed, dragging her mother into the backyard. People were still there with the kids.

Linda blinked in surprise. "Boys, what are all these people doing here?"

"We're teaching them foreign languages," Phineas answered cheerfully.

"And, they're really good at it," Carl told her.

Candace was giggling. She had them now!

To her dismay, Linda smiled. "I must say, I'm impressed."

"What!?" Candace exclaimed. "But they- O-okay. I'll admit it's not the most bustable thing they've ever done..."

Carl recognized the platypus that came up to him and who looked up at him in surprise. Not wanting to blow Agent P's cover, Carl said, "Hey, look. A platypus..."

"Oh, there you are, Perry," Phineas greeted.

The End

Frankly, I'm surprised Doof hasn't had laryngitis on the show, yet. :P